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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is that it is fine to have weaknesses.

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Speaker 1: It's good to acknowledge them. But and this is the

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Speaker 1: most important part, don't stay there, make a plan to improve.

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Speaker 1: I am all about knowing ourselves. We've all been asked

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Speaker 1: about our greatest weakness and job interviews, and while that

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Speaker 1: is a terrible question, knowing that we have areas where

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Speaker 1: we struggle is important. That said, I've noticed that sometimes

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Speaker 1: when people acknowledge their weaknesses, they feel free from responsibility

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Speaker 1: for overcoming those weaknesses. I I'm sure you've noticed this too.

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Speaker 1: Someone says I'm terrible with names, and you know this

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Speaker 1: person is not even going to bother trying to remember yours.

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Speaker 1: Someone says, oh, I'm always late and just expects you

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Speaker 1: to deal with that. A colleague says I'm terrible at

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Speaker 1: organizing meetings as a way to explain why his meander

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Speaker 1: and don't seem to accomplish much. Or perhaps a relative

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Speaker 1: says he just doesn't know how to use zoom and

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Speaker 1: expects you to go to his apartment every week to

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Speaker 1: set it up. For your extended family zoom call. The

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Speaker 1: crazy thing about this is that no one is naturally

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Speaker 1: good or bad at anything. When people appear to be

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Speaker 1: naturally gifted at remembering names, it's because they consider it

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Speaker 1: rude to forget a name, and so they have put

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Speaker 1: the time and mental effort into making sure they remember

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Speaker 1: the names of anyone they encounter once a week or more.

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Speaker 1: When people are always prompt, it's not because they are

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Speaker 1: just naturally on time. It's because they have thought through

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Speaker 1: how much time it will take to get somewhere, and

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Speaker 1: they have built in time for something to go wrong.

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Speaker 1: This isn't a skill that is completely inaccessible to everyone else.

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Speaker 1: Anyone can learn to do that. It's just some people

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Speaker 1: don't bother. They value other things more than being where

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Speaker 1: they said they'd be at the time they said they'd

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Speaker 1: be there. Now, I'm not actually saying this is good

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Speaker 1: or bad. I know there are reasons for everything. It

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Speaker 1: might be the right choice to stay talking with someone

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Speaker 1: who really needs you rather than getting to an unimportant

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Speaker 1: meeting promptly, but it is always a choice of what

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Speaker 1: we put our time and attention into. When we spend

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Speaker 1: time doing something and learning to do it, better, We

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Speaker 1: just become better at it. As an example, hardly anyone

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Speaker 1: knew how to use zoom two years ago. Now it's

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Speaker 1: just part of the work day. In any case, when

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Speaker 1: you know something is a weakness, it is fine to

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that this is where you are now. But don't

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Speaker 1: pitch a tent. Don't stay there. Make a plan for

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Speaker 1: getting better. We are not aiming for pro level, but

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Speaker 1: we can at least get to the point of being decent.

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Speaker 1: So if you hear yourself talking about a weakness, discipline

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Speaker 1: yourself to share your plans for progress too. I am

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Speaker 1: a total couch potato and I'm working on getting more

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Speaker 1: active by walking with my neighbor on Saturday mornings. I'm

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Speaker 1: bad with money, so I'm reading a book about personal

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Speaker 1: finance to build my knowledge and skills. My handwriting is illegible,

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Speaker 1: so I've started keeping a journal so i could get

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Speaker 1: more practice with writing. Don't let yourself name a weakness

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Speaker 1: without also noting your plan for getting a little better.

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Speaker 1: This is a good approach to model for other people

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Speaker 1: in your life, particularly the young people. Do you want

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Speaker 1: your kids to accept that they're just bad at math,

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Speaker 1: or music or making friends? Of course, not. Maybe such

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Speaker 1: things are slightly easier for some people than others, but

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Speaker 1: we can all get better with effort. So when a

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Speaker 1: child says he or she is bad at something, ask

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Speaker 1: how they plan to get better. I stink at science,

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Speaker 1: So what are you doing to strengthen your skills there?

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Speaker 1: Or what support do you need to improve? I know

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Speaker 1: of a teacher who nudges her students into this mindset.

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Speaker 1: If they say I can't, she says you what, as

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Speaker 1: if she must have misunderstood because they couldn't possibly have

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Speaker 1: said that they simply can't do something that's within the

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Speaker 1: normal range of human activities. She prompts them to rephrase,

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Speaker 1: to say that they are having trouble or can't do

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Speaker 1: something yet. The culture is that you don't settle with limitations.

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Speaker 1: You could improve if you put effort into it. I

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Speaker 1: love this idea, taking what we think we are bad

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Speaker 1: at and saying we're just having trouble with it, which

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Speaker 1: is about action, not identity, or that we're not great yet.

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Speaker 1: We are acknowledging this truth, but acknowledging that this isn't immutable.

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Speaker 1: When we take where we are as a starting point

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Speaker 1: instead of a stuck point, we put ourselves on a

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Speaker 1: path to growth. In the meantime, they is Laura. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for listening and here's to making the most of our time.

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Speaker 1: Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You can

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Speaker 1: send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just

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Speaker 1: connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before

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Speaker 1: Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four, then breakfast

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Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com

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Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For

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Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I heart

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Speaker 1: favorite shows. I Don't Can't g