WEBVTT - I'm Trying To Hold It Together - 7.23.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time now for my Strawberry Letter for today,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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<v Speaker 1>and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBARVFM dot

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<v Speaker 1>com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading

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<v Speaker 1>your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read.

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<v Speaker 2>What are you laughing about, Tommy? You're making me laugh

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<v Speaker 2>right us. We want to hear from you. Okay, this

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<v Speaker 2>letter right here could be yours. It could be yours.

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<v Speaker 3>Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for you.

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<v Speaker 4>Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh not laughing. You haven't even heard the letter yet.

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<v Speaker 2>Here we go. Subject.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to hold it together. Thank you, nephew. Dear

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<v Speaker 1>Stephen Shirley. I've been with the same woman for twenty

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<v Speaker 1>nine years and we've been married for twenty six years.

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<v Speaker 1>We have five children and fourteen grandchildren. On the outside,

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<v Speaker 1>looking in, it looks like we are a beautiful retired couple.

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<v Speaker 1>But on the inside, our marriage is in turmoil. My

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<v Speaker 1>wife is having an affair and I found out when

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<v Speaker 1>I read her emails. It's like she wanted me to

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<v Speaker 1>find out because she knows. I go into her computer

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. Based on what I read, they've been

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<v Speaker 1>seeing each other off and on for over ten years.

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<v Speaker 1>The saving grace for her is that she tells her

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<v Speaker 1>lover that she loves me and that she'll never leave

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<v Speaker 1>me because I'm the best thing that ever happened to her.

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<v Speaker 1>It's ironic that I cheated on her many times, but

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<v Speaker 1>I was never sloppy enough for her to find out.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like she wants to have a conversation about it,

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<v Speaker 1>since she hasn't deleted any of the emails. I also

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<v Speaker 1>know the guy well and we've played tennis together a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of times in the past few years.

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<v Speaker 2>My wife had sex with a.

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<v Speaker 1>Man that I know, and he's been smiling in my face.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the part that hurts the most because I bet

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<v Speaker 1>he feels like he got over on me. I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to hold it together and I'm debate on whether or

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<v Speaker 1>not I'm going to talk to my wife. I have

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<v Speaker 1>no right to be upset because I have had my

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<v Speaker 1>fun on the side. If she knew I was cheating,

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<v Speaker 1>she never said a word to me. I need advice.

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<v Speaker 1>Should I confront my wife or let it go?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? I'm confused as to.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what you are upset about and all of

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<v Speaker 1>that because you did the same thing. I mean, whether

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<v Speaker 1>you talk to her or not, you really don't have

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<v Speaker 1>a leg to stand on here, sir.

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<v Speaker 2>You cheat it she cheated.

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<v Speaker 1>Now we're here with you trying to nitpick on how

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<v Speaker 1>she dated, who she dated, and what all happened, et cetera, etc.

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<v Speaker 1>You should feel some kind of way because cheating hurts,

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't it. It really does hurt. We know about double standards,

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<v Speaker 1>so we talk about them a lot on this show.

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<v Speaker 1>It was okay when you were doing it. Just because

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<v Speaker 1>she didn't find out doesn't mean you know it was cool.

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<v Speaker 1>But you've been doing it for years now. You guys

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<v Speaker 1>have been together for twenty nine years. That's a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>and you guys need a reset here. Instead of turning

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<v Speaker 1>to other people for your happiness, you need to try

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<v Speaker 1>and find your way back to each other if you can,

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<v Speaker 1>if the both of you want to stay in this marriage,

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<v Speaker 1>I suggest counseling. I suggest therapy immediately. And of course

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<v Speaker 1>here's the thing that maybe you didn't think about. Stop cheating.

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<v Speaker 1>Let those side pieces go. How about that, Tommy.

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<v Speaker 4>It ain't no fun. When the rabbit got the gun. Yes, Yes,

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<v Speaker 4>you have cheated in the past. She is cheating now,

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<v Speaker 4>cheating with somebody you play tennis with. You think he's

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<v Speaker 4>gotten one over you, and you want to know should

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<v Speaker 4>you say something? What should you say? What can you say?

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<v Speaker 4>Here's what I think. You don't think she knows about you.

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<v Speaker 4>She knows, she knows you're cheating. She know exactly who

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<v Speaker 4>you cheated with, and she don't care. And that's why

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<v Speaker 4>she don't care. Nothing about the dug On emails that

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<v Speaker 4>you saw. She wanted you to see that me maw.

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<v Speaker 4>She wanted you to know that she did it too.

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<v Speaker 4>She does not care that you have ran up on

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<v Speaker 4>this information that that she waiting on you to bring

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<v Speaker 4>it up.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 4>When you were somebody does to you what you've already

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<v Speaker 4>done to them. Now you want to say something, and

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<v Speaker 4>I don't. I don't think you should say anything. I

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<v Speaker 4>think you should just be quiet. You got to you

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<v Speaker 4>just got to ice it out. Don't say a word,

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<v Speaker 4>but you can start working on having a better relationship.

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<v Speaker 4>She done, She done it to you, You've done it

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<v Speaker 4>to huh. Let's just let's try to get past that

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<v Speaker 4>part and see if you can still salvage the relationship.

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<v Speaker 4>She still loves you up dently if she's telling the

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<v Speaker 4>side piece that you clear clearly, clearly she has not

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<v Speaker 4>let that fade away. So the love is still there

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<v Speaker 4>and you must still love her too, because you done

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<v Speaker 4>took time write this letter, let us know about all

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<v Speaker 4>your grand babies and everything else. I don't know what

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<v Speaker 4>that's got to do with anything, but anyway, y'all been

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<v Speaker 4>together over twenty some years. I think I think you

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<v Speaker 4>need to start spending more time with your wife. There's

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<v Speaker 4>a way for you to spend enough time with your

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<v Speaker 4>wife that you can actually fade out whatever else she

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<v Speaker 4>got going on, and she don't have time for that.

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<v Speaker 4>But now you got to start putting some effort towards

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<v Speaker 4>your wife, which is what you should have been doing

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<v Speaker 4>in the first place. Giving your wife all the time

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<v Speaker 4>she needs, as y'all, or a comfort you're supposed to

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<v Speaker 4>give her everything, Go out on dates, start all over.

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<v Speaker 4>Do what you got to do to get your wife

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<v Speaker 4>back to where she's like, I got enough with just

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<v Speaker 4>my man, I don't need this other do put the

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<v Speaker 4>time in with your wife. That's what you're gonna have

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<v Speaker 4>to do now, Even though I want you to do that.

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<v Speaker 4>I still want you to go down there to that

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<v Speaker 4>tennis coat, yeah, and get that racket and accidentally swing

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<v Speaker 4>that racket and crack him across the back. I just

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<v Speaker 4>I just think one good crack cross the back. It

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<v Speaker 4>just make you feel a whole lot. That's what's bothering you?

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<v Speaker 2>Is bother you? That is That is Randall.

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<v Speaker 4>You know what I'm saying. But that's what's body.

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<v Speaker 3>That is.

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<v Speaker 4>Randal has been over there all this time with your girl.

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<v Speaker 4>That's the problem and you that's what That's what bothers

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<v Speaker 4>any man. Well, what bothers a man is when he knows.

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<v Speaker 4>Now he done read it, and he knows, and it

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<v Speaker 4>just ain't sitting well.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, hang on, hang on, nephew, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna have part two of our response to today's

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<v Speaker 1>Strawberry Letters, and I have.

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<v Speaker 3>To whoop Randall.

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<v Speaker 2>Twenty three minutes after the hour. We will hear from

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<v Speaker 2>Junior when we come back right after.

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<v Speaker 3>They not gonna like mine.

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<v Speaker 4>Randall told her who you was messing with.

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<v Speaker 5>You're listening to the Hardy Morning Show. An education is

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we're going to recap today's strawberry letter. This

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<v Speaker 1>title is the subject is I'm trying to hold it

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<v Speaker 1>together now? A man wrote in he's twenty nine. He's

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<v Speaker 1>been married to his wife for twenty nine years, twenty

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<v Speaker 1>six years. They've been together for twenty nine years. They

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<v Speaker 1>have five children, fourteen grandchildren. It looks like they have

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<v Speaker 1>this perfect marriage on the outside, but inside they're cheating.

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<v Speaker 1>He just found out that his wife is cheating with

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<v Speaker 1>a guy he knows, and he really can't say anything

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<v Speaker 1>because he's cheated on his wife lots of times. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>he's mad because his wife had sex with a man

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<v Speaker 1>that he knows and who has been smiling in his face,

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<v Speaker 1>so his ego is affected here. He says, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>part that hurts the most, and because he thinks the

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<v Speaker 1>guy feels that he got over on the husband. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>whether he did or not, you're upset about it. But

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<v Speaker 1>you say you have no right to be, and I

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<v Speaker 1>agree with you because you've had your fun on the side.

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<v Speaker 1>And if she knew you were cheating, you said, she

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<v Speaker 1>never said a word to you. And you want advice.

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<v Speaker 1>Should you confront your wife or let it go?

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<v Speaker 2>Junior, you're up? What do you say?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you're not gonna like my answers, Shirley said, let

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<v Speaker 6>me just gone ahead and just get this out the way.

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<v Speaker 3>Earlier. I don't understand. I don't care.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know why you put in the five kids

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<v Speaker 6>and the fourteen grandchildren got nothing to do with this,

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<v Speaker 6>nothing that's irrelevant. I just don't understand how Now. I

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<v Speaker 6>know you cheated and got all that, but we're not

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<v Speaker 6>talking about you now. This is not what we're doing.

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<v Speaker 6>This is what you found out. You mean to tell me,

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<v Speaker 6>I'm sitting here listening to Shirley read this letter. You

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<v Speaker 6>mean to tell me you read the emails and just

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<v Speaker 6>went on with life.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what you did. You mean telling you read.

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<v Speaker 6>This email because he said, she said to this man,

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<v Speaker 6>she's man, I love him and I.

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<v Speaker 3>Ain't never leaving him.

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<v Speaker 2>You made that proud.

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<v Speaker 3>Forget the fact she's sleeping with the man.

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<v Speaker 6>That made you proud right there. So you just went

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<v Speaker 6>on about life. So you just read that email and

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<v Speaker 6>just had breakfast. You ain't said nothing. You just went

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<v Speaker 6>on with life.

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<v Speaker 2>Huh.

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<v Speaker 6>So you just read the email and just got it

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<v Speaker 6>the shower. You just just just lathering up.

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<v Speaker 2>You're there risting off.

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<v Speaker 3>You read this. You read the email, and the same.

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<v Speaker 6>Woman sleep with the man you took on vacation. Of

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<v Speaker 6>course he looking over you, man, Yeah, he getting over.

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<v Speaker 6>He ain't got none of these problems. You read that

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<v Speaker 6>email and then you went and brought her a new car.

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<v Speaker 3>How crazy is you?

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<v Speaker 2>Are? You?

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<v Speaker 3>You just going on with life. Ain't nothing wrong here?

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<v Speaker 6>You You you read that email and took her to dinner.

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<v Speaker 6>You sitting up here with the man playing tennis, and

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<v Speaker 6>you know he's sleeping with your wife.

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<v Speaker 3>How is this possible?

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<v Speaker 4>Man?

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<v Speaker 3>Lord, man, get some backbone or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh, you ain't you.

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<v Speaker 3>You got to do something, dude. You just up here?

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<v Speaker 3>You just up here? Man, you up there? The man

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<v Speaker 3>sleeping with your wife? You the read email. Now you're

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<v Speaker 3>at the hospital because you finna get another grandchild? What

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<v Speaker 3>did you do?

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<v Speaker 6>What did you do with the labor and delivery with

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<v Speaker 6>your wife? And she got an affair?

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<v Speaker 3>Why is you in there? We got thirteen other grand baby?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm catting up about to you know what? What you

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<v Speaker 3>just going on with life? Man? You ain't saying nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>So you just in there? You just in there, your wife,

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<v Speaker 3>you'd have read the email. You see what the man?

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<v Speaker 3>Now you're in church with your hands up. Praise God.

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<v Speaker 3>He's got He is so good to me. What is

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<v Speaker 3>you doing, though, God? What is you doing?

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<v Speaker 5>What matter?

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<v Speaker 6>Fact? If you in an email, why you didn't hit

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<v Speaker 6>the reply button and send your message back?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? What would it have said? Though?

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<v Speaker 4>Height?

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<v Speaker 3>Man? I know you we played tennis together. I see

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<v Speaker 3>it this Saturday.

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<v Speaker 6>But I'm not bringing my racket, bringing my golf club,

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<v Speaker 6>bringing the club, bring something out. We ain't We ain't

0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:44.840
<v Speaker 6>gonna hat this. I don't understand how this this You

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.880
<v Speaker 6>just said, Okay, I got caught. You know, I cheated

0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.040
<v Speaker 6>on her, but put it in her face. But this

0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:50.640
<v Speaker 6>is all in your face and you just going on

0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.760
<v Speaker 6>with life. Dog what man is this?

0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. No man, like I tell you something.

0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.400
<v Speaker 6>I know some men who've done it, and they I

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:01.200
<v Speaker 6>know they've cheated.

0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:02.880
<v Speaker 3>I know, but they never put in their white face.

0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 3>But I'll be.

0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.760
<v Speaker 6>Dog on if I sit down here, we got to

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.920
<v Speaker 6>read my white email. Hold on, hold on, and you're

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 6>right here is a double standing. Yeah, but you ain't

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.720
<v Speaker 6>gonna text about me. Why is y'all even discussed if

0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.480
<v Speaker 6>you're cheating? Why am I a subject matter?

0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Why am I in this? Why?

0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:20.520
<v Speaker 3>What's your bringing me up?

0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Folk?

0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:23.400
<v Speaker 3>But I was cheating. I never mentioned your name. That

0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 3>was y'all even going by the rules.

0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 6>Of cheating, following the protocol y'all got to follow protocols, y'all.

0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Y'all just talking about me. Now?

0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 6>You know my whole vacation schedule, so y'all can get together.

0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 6>He leaving town Wednesday, Now, y'all there together Wednsday through Sunday.

0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.480
<v Speaker 6>Y'all know everything, y'all ain't gonna be talking about me.

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 2>Why is it written anyway? Why why are they in? Email?

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:51.559
<v Speaker 3>Went up?

0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.840
<v Speaker 2>I come here though, that's evident.

0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, uh huh, you know everything by this man?

0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.160
<v Speaker 3>My a one c went up. She told him.

0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.160
<v Speaker 2>But I love my husband though, but I love my hoop.

0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:04.880
<v Speaker 3>But I ain't never leaving. Oh no, you're gonna be leaving.

0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 3>It'll be forced to leave here.

0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.440
<v Speaker 6>This don't make no sense. Somebody tell me I'm crazy.

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.120
<v Speaker 2>We know you're crazy, but I'm talking about that.

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.000
<v Speaker 6>If you read this email, dog, are we going about

0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:17.840
<v Speaker 6>life the same way?

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:18.680
<v Speaker 2>No, we're not.

0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.800
<v Speaker 3>We can't. This is impossible. I'm I'm mad.

0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:25.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm you're mad. You're mad. I see it, You're mad.

0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:26.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm mad like this my girl?

0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:31.960
<v Speaker 2>All right, guys.

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Poster your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.840
<v Speaker 1>FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:42.079
<v Speaker 1>Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never.

0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.959
<v Speaker 2>Sounded So Good. You can download it today now.

0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.679
<v Speaker 1>Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior's

0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 1>gonna cool down and give us some sports talk.

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:54.600
<v Speaker 2>Show