1 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation 2 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions 3 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. 4 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Doctor Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist 5 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a 6 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for 7 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love listening to 8 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to 9 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental 10 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me 11 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: for session three forty two of the for Black Girls Podcast. 12 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: We'll get right into our conversation after a word from 13 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: our sponsors. Welcome back for another episode of our January 14 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: Jumpstart mini series. All month long, we're having conversations with 15 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: talented black women leaders across creative and professional mediums to 16 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: assist you in putting the p in prioritizing your personal growth. 17 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: If you've been holding back on doing you, this is 18 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: your sign to jump headfirst into the possibilities of a 19 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: new year. I don't think it would be too far 20 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: fetched to say that human beings were never meant to 21 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: see so many people's opinions on a daily basis, and 22 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: yet social media makes this a reality. With us entering 23 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: a new year, I think it's a perfect time to 24 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: begin to reevaluate our relationship with social media. Joining me 25 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: to share more about the relationship between mental health and 26 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: social media is Board certified psychiatrist Doctor Judith Joseph. Doctor 27 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: Joseph is an expert on various media platforms and has 28 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: made national television appearances on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 29 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:25,399 Speaker 1: CBS News, and War. She recently received a US Congress 30 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: Proclamation Award from the US House of Representatives for her 31 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: social media advocacy and research in mental health. In our 32 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: conversation today, doctor Joseph and I discuss how to determine 33 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 1: what a healthy use of social media looks like, some 34 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: small strategies to unplug without quitting social media, colde Turkey, 35 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: and ways to avoid comparing yourself to the people on 36 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: your feed. If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, 37 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: please share it with us on social media using the 38 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: hashtag TVG in Session or join us over in the 39 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: Sister Circle to talk more about the episode. You can 40 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: join us at community dot therapy for Blackgirls dot com. 41 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining me today, 42 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: doctor Joseph. 43 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me today. 44 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an honor to chat with you. So I'd 45 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: love for you to take us down a trip down 46 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: memory lane to tell us about your earliest experience actually 47 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: using social media for yourself. 48 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 3: For me, it was really using my Space Facebook. Those 49 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 3: were the early precursors to social media, and I just 50 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 3: remember in college people talking about it and saying that 51 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 3: it was a great way to basically keep up with 52 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 3: your friends and see what they were doing, and also 53 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 3: a way to feel as if you're part of the 54 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 3: gossip because people were doing hot or notts and things 55 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 3: like that, so you didn't want to be left out. 56 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 3: So those are my earlier experiences with FOMO. 57 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: And how would you you've seen that the social media 58 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: landscape change throughout your career. 59 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 3: It's interesting because I treat children, adults and adolescents, and 60 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 3: early in my training, we really didn't know much about 61 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 3: social media and how it impacted children because it was 62 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 3: so new and right now I'm seeing that the generations 63 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 3: that were born into a world where there was always 64 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 3: social media, there was always internet access, there was always 65 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,239 Speaker 3: tech that was transportable. You could have tech wherever you wanted. 66 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 3: I'm seeing that the data is finally catching up and 67 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 3: we're seeing some harmful patterns with overuse. And just like 68 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 3: anything in life, if you use things without knowing the dangers, 69 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 3: then you don't know how to protect yourself. You don't 70 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 3: know how to not be as vulnerable. So I think 71 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 3: we're seeing a lot, especially in my practice, of how 72 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 3: social media is impacting human development and your well being. 73 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: Can you say a little bit more about some of 74 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: the connections that you're seeing between mental health and social 75 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: media use. 76 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 3: It Definitely people who use social media to basically communicate 77 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 3: and to replace one on one in person interactions are 78 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 3: finding that it's difficult to feel satisfied with these interactions. 79 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 3: They have this metric, this constant way of holding their 80 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 3: celves up to someone else. They're constantly comparing themselves to others. 81 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 3: There's no break. They're bombarded with images and it becomes 82 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 3: kind of like a new reality for them. So being 83 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 3: in the real world, being one on one with someone, 84 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 3: that doesn't become reality for a person if the majority 85 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 3: of their interactions are online that becomes their new reality. 86 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 3: And I'm seeing this across all developmental phases. As I mentioned, 87 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 3: I treat children, adolescents and adults, and children who are 88 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 3: using social media or social digital means to interact with 89 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,159 Speaker 3: the world. Their brains are just not made for that. 90 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 3: We were not designed to interact with the world in 91 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 3: a two dimensional screen. We were designed to be a 92 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 3: part of the world. And what I'm seeing is delayed learning, 93 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 3: shorter attention spans, irritability, and poor social reciprocity with the 94 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 3: younger individuals who have had exposure to digital devices and 95 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 3: social media early in life, because it replaces and it 96 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 3: has replaced the one on one rich interactions that we 97 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 3: as human beings were made to have throughout development. So 98 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 3: I'm seeing that in earlier ages, in adolescent ages, I 99 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 3: see a lot of anxiety and depression, and looking at 100 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 3: the CDC's data, it's very evident that with exposure to 101 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 3: prolonged social media use over time, people have more anxiety, 102 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 3: they have more depression, they don't feel as if they're 103 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 3: good enough, their self esteem issues, and some said show 104 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 3: a correlation with eating. 105 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,799 Speaker 2: Disorders as well. With adults. 106 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 3: We're fortunate that the majority of us have had our 107 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 3: early development not impacted by social media. We had the 108 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 3: typical experiences. We were out playing outside, we had interactions 109 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 3: where we had to be one on one with someone. 110 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 3: If we said something mean to someone, we saw their 111 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 3: phase reacting and we're like, oops, I shouldn't have said that. 112 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 3: You know. We didn't have that siloed experience where we 113 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 3: could send a mean text or mean comment and not 114 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: see the person's reaction. So we've developed that social reciprocity. 115 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 3: But even adults who have had quote unquote traditional childhoods 116 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 3: are still impacted by prolonged social media use. In some studies, 117 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 3: it shows that if you use social media for hours 118 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 3: a day, if you don't limit it to less than 119 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 3: thirty minutes a day, you're more likely to have depression 120 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 3: and anxiety compared to people who limit it or who 121 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 3: don't have access to it. So even as adults who've 122 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 3: had rich traditional typical childhood developmental experiences without for long 123 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 3: social media or digital use, even we are impacted. So 124 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 3: imagine a brain that is developing, that is learning how 125 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 3: to be in the world, learning how to interact in 126 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 3: the world. Imagine that brain being exposed to prolonged digital 127 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 3: technology and social media. We really don't even know what 128 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 3: the really long term effects are, but we know short 129 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 3: term studies are showing that there is a delay in 130 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 3: social reciprocity and increase in depression and anxiety. So this 131 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 3: is a cause for concern. 132 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad did just sharing this with us 133 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: actual Jose, because it does feel like we're just now 134 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: getting some research, especially with young people in social media. 135 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,079 Speaker 1: But I'm curious, so even with kids still kind of 136 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: spending the whole day at school, right, so even the 137 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: school day that is about six to eight hours where 138 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: they may be using some technology but probably not a 139 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: lot of social media, we are still not seeing that 140 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: be enough to counteract the impact of being on social 141 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: media for a couple of hours a day. 142 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 3: It's not And a lot of schools are adopting a 143 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 3: technology driven platform for their education. And I know that 144 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:05,359 Speaker 3: in schools in Manhattan, a lot of the schools have laptops. 145 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 3: Even children as young as kindergarten age are hiking up 146 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 3: the stairs with these laptops, right, So they're not really 147 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 3: getting a respite, they're not really getting that full non 148 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 3: screen exposure even at school. And think about that. That's 149 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 3: where they get a lot of their learning, that's where 150 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 3: they're supposed to connect to others. 151 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 2: But many of them. 152 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 3: Are spending time on screens at school, after school, and 153 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 3: then for their relaxation when they're done with their homework. 154 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 3: So these are brains that are constantly online. And I 155 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 3: know it sounds like alarming and it's a cause for anxiety. 156 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 3: And we are not going to escape technology, but there 157 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 3: are ways to balance that so that you're not entirely online. 158 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,199 Speaker 1: So I'm curious to hear your thoughts, doctor Joseph about 159 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: kids being bored without social media. So we see those 160 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 1: conversations online all the time, and this idea that like 161 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: children don't enjoy like being outside and like playing with 162 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: their cousins, like you know, one of our producers is 163 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: talking about e and over the holiday break she observed 164 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: this with people in her own family. What are your 165 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 1: thoughts about that? 166 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 3: You know what, boredom is a natural and typical part 167 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 3: of childhood development. If you look at really young children, 168 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 3: even younger than two, if you put them on the 169 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 3: floor and you put an empty box there and a spoon, 170 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 3: they're going to crawl to it. They're gonna want to 171 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 3: be curious. That's built into our DNA as human beings, 172 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 3: to be curious, to be imaginative, to use what we 173 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: have at the tip of our fingers literally and figuratively, 174 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 3: to entertain ourselves. Because children's brains are so malleable, we're 175 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 3: learning how to interact with the world. We're learning how 176 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 3: to explore our senses. That's why children put things into 177 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 3: their mouths. If you ever saw a small child licking 178 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 3: on their fingers and then tasting everything in the room, 179 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 3: it's because they're built to explore and to be curious. 180 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 3: So when a child says they're bored, that really means 181 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 3: that they haven't tapped into that imagination. They haven't tapped 182 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 3: into the creativity. So that's an opportunity for us to 183 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 3: encourage that, to allow them to play, to draw, to color, 184 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 3: to build, and that's where they really learn because they're 185 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 3: learning problem solving, you know, the problem being on board 186 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 3: what I do about it. They're learning that they have 187 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 3: that mastery, that agency, and that they can entertain themselves, 188 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,559 Speaker 3: that they can create play And if you put any 189 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 3: child in a room with another child without technology. 190 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 2: They'll figure out a way to play. 191 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 3: I know because I have cameras everywhere in my clinic 192 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 3: because I treat children and sometimes I want to see 193 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 3: what they're doing. Sometimes I observe them when they're in 194 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 3: the waiting area to see, oh, okay, that child has 195 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 3: their attention improved or their adeges is getting better. The 196 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 3: anxieties are based on what I'm seeing. And if you 197 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 3: see children in the waiting area, even if they don't 198 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 3: know each other, there's there are no video games there, 199 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 3: so they will figure out a way to play with 200 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 3: each other. I've seen the most creative things, like kids 201 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,839 Speaker 3: playing as if the waiting room table and chairs are 202 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 3: like a tent or a fort. They're just built to 203 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 3: do that by design. But children are not built to 204 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 3: be on screens all day. So boredom is an opportunity 205 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: for creativity. It's an opportunity for imagination. And I find 206 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 3: that a lot of the parents that I work with 207 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 3: they want to solve this issue of boredom. They see 208 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 3: it as a problem. They see it as being a 209 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 3: bad parent, like, oh my child is bored that means 210 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 3: that I'm not providing enough. But sometimes as parents, the 211 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 3: best thing we can do is just to sit on 212 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 3: our hands. Literally, one of my colleagues Jactor Harstin says, 213 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 3: put your hands under your thighs and literally just wait. 214 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,839 Speaker 3: Don't try to fix it. They will figure it out, 215 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: because sometimes children need to figure it out. That's how 216 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 3: they learn, that's how they grow. 217 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: So what are your recommendations for parents and other adults 218 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: in your practice around how they do then limit or 219 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: take all away any screen time for the young people 220 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: in their lives. 221 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 3: I think that it depends on the individuals, and I 222 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 3: use this acronym across the board for individuals, so I 223 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 3: call it reset. The R is realization is this issue 224 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 3: causing a problem for you? Because not everyone sees this 225 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 3: as a problem. Some people think, listen, this is a 226 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 3: part of my job. I have to be online. I 227 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 3: can't get around this. But for others it's a problem. 228 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 3: And some people will say my partner says that I'm 229 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 3: always on my device, or my child always says that 230 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 3: I don't have time to play, or they realize that 231 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 3: they're not feeling fulfilled. They feel anxious and depressed if 232 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 3: they're distracted by tech. So realize, if this is an 233 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 3: issue for you, you may not be able to identify 234 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 3: it on your own. There are online tests that you 235 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 3: can use to see if you have a social media 236 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 3: habit that is unhealthy and that may be able to 237 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 3: give you that feedback. And the second the E and 238 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 3: RESET is educate. Learn about the resources out there. There 239 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 3: are studies the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, 240 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,559 Speaker 3: American Pediatric Association. They give you guideline. There are recent 241 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 3: CDC studies that tell you about what the impact of 242 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 3: social media is on the child and adult brain and 243 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,199 Speaker 3: your mood and your behavior, So learn about it. They're 244 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 3: excellent podcasts out there and communities that are devoted to 245 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 3: educating people about this. So really educate yourself. And then 246 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 3: the US is a solution or a strategy. So you 247 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 3: want to figure out what is workable for you, right, 248 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 3: like what is feasible because many of us, if you're 249 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 3: in marketing like a lot of my clients, or if 250 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 3: you are in media, a lot of times you can't 251 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 3: just tune it out completely, so you're going to have 252 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 3: a different benchmark compared to someone else. You're going to 253 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 3: have another measure, and so figure out what it is 254 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 3: for you. With the families that I work with, sometimes 255 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 3: it's like okay after seven pm, no devices, or they'll 256 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 3: turn the internet off in their home. And for some others, 257 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 3: students that I work with, it's okay, I'm going to 258 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 3: allot this time to that time to not be on 259 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 3: a device, and I'm going to be doing something else pleasurable, 260 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 3: like exercising, reading, seeing friends one on one. 261 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 2: You have to come up with a strategy for yourself. 262 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 3: For others, it's you know, new parents who are expecting 263 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 3: their first child. They come up with a plan together 264 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 3: that Okay, we're both going to stay on task with this. 265 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 3: We're not going to let the child be on a 266 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 3: screen earlier than age two. We're going to follow these guidelines. 267 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 3: You have to come up with the strategy that works 268 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 3: for you, and then you know the E and reset 269 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 3: is what is your expectation? What are you hoping? So 270 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 3: like the second E, what are you hoping to gain 271 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 3: from this? Are you hoping to feel better? Are you 272 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 3: hoping to have less anxiety, less depression, better sleep because 273 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 3: social media use and digital use is associated with poor sleep. 274 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 3: Are you hoping to have more meaningful relationships morituc relationships 275 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 3: and communication? So what are your expectations? Because you need 276 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 3: a way to figure out if you're making progress in 277 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 3: the direction that you want to go into. And then 278 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 3: the T is the thoughtfulness reflect on it. How is 279 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 3: this making you feel? I don't think we spend enough 280 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 3: time thinking about how we feel. A part of that 281 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 3: is technology. You know, we depend on mes and feedback 282 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 3: online to tell us how to feel, but we lose 283 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 3: sense of who we are, We lose a sense of 284 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 3: our own inner barometer for how we feel. So just 285 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 3: reflect on the process. So really be thoughtful. Did it work? 286 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 3: Did it not work? Do you need a bit of tweaking? 287 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 3: Is there trial and error that needs to be done? 288 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 3: And the thoughtfulness part also plays a role when you're 289 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 3: thinking about what are you going to do with this 290 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 3: extra time? Are you going to use this time as 291 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 3: a family to say, listen, we now have this pocket 292 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 3: of time to use, let's spend time together, let's all 293 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 3: vote on it. Or as an individual, what am I 294 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 3: going to do with this time to make it meaningful, 295 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 3: to make it so that I'm not replacing this unhealthy 296 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 3: habit with another unhealthy habit. Right, that's the thoughtfulness part. 297 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 3: So the R and the tea at the end of 298 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 3: reset are very very introspective, reflective insightful type of practices 299 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: because I feel like we do have to spend time 300 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 3: with ourselves, with our thoughts, practicing, you know, sitting still 301 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 3: in how this process makes us feel. Because when we 302 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 3: are in tune with how we feel, we make better 303 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 3: decisions for ourselves. 304 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you so much, doctor Joseph. So 305 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 1: that is your own framework that you've come up with, 306 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: the reset framework. 307 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 2: It is. 308 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,959 Speaker 3: It is based on evidence based medicine and literature and 309 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 3: so forth. And I mean, I give a lot of 310 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,959 Speaker 3: talks to organizations and zoom fatigue comes up a lot, 311 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 3: and people don't know that there's an entire center at 312 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,719 Speaker 3: Stanford dedicated to zoom fatigue. I'll encourage people to go 313 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 3: on that website and do the zoom fatigue tests, and 314 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 3: people are like, oh my gosh, I have zoom fatigue. 315 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 2: This is real. It's not just me. 316 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 3: It's not just me feeling a natural looking at someone's 317 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 3: eyes the entire time. We're not meant to look at 318 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 3: people's eyes all the time. But if you don't do it, 319 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,160 Speaker 3: then you appear to be not interested. 320 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 2: Right. 321 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 3: We're not supposed to be planted on a desk looking 322 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 3: at a computer at the entire time. We're supposed to be 323 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 3: up and walking, right, but being online takes that away 324 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,160 Speaker 3: from us. We weren't built to respond to emails when 325 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 3: they come in right away. Years ago, if the mail 326 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 3: came in, there was always gonna be more male. So 327 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,120 Speaker 3: you can't rush and open them all because there's always 328 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 3: gonna be more male. But there's something about seeing those 329 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 3: unopen boxes that drives us crazy. Right, so we have 330 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 3: to acknowledge us why I say at the beginning and 331 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 3: the end of rest are really reflective, because we just 332 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 3: get so accustomed to the rat race that it becomes 333 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 3: the norm, and we are gaslining ourselves into believing that 334 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 3: this is normal, and that's something's wrong with us when 335 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,119 Speaker 3: we're exhausted and burnt out. No, this is not how 336 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 3: our brains were made. We were meant to be out gathering, hunting, collecting, 337 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 3: interacting with each other, singing songs. We're not doing that anymore, 338 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 3: and these screens are replacing it. But we can't discount 339 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 3: the fact that these screens have also improved our lives. 340 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 3: We just have to figure out how to make it 341 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: work for us using evidence based information. 342 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: You know, doctor Joseph, as you're talking I am thinking 343 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: about how many more concerns and difficulties have been introduced 344 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: into our jobs as mental health professionals and to all 345 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,679 Speaker 1: of our lives just by the advert of technology. Right, 346 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,719 Speaker 1: Just this idea that zoom fatigue fifteen years ago, like 347 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 1: that center wouldn't have existed, right. So it definitely feels 348 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: like to your point, there have been so many advantages 349 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 1: and so many great things that have come with technology, 350 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: but there's also the other side of it, right, that 351 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: it has caused all of these difficulties. And even the 352 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: way we talk about social media like needing a detox 353 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: and all of these things. Can you talk about some 354 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: of the addictive properties that exist within social media, like 355 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: is it something that somebody can actually become addicted to? 356 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 2: Absolutely? 357 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,360 Speaker 3: There are many centers that research social media addiction. There's 358 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 3: a social media Addiction scale I believe it was developed 359 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 3: by I think Bergen, and then there's Internet Addiction Scale 360 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 3: by Young And there are centers that study this that 361 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 3: have created cognitive behavioral therapy for this type of addiction 362 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 3: because it is real behaviors are capable of having tolerance 363 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 3: and dependence. People have withdrawal just like they would with 364 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 3: the substance when they don't have access to the behavior 365 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 3: that they've become addicted to. And so the things that 366 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 3: make social media very addictive is the fact that we 367 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 3: have access to it. When you look at any substance treatment, 368 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: you'll see that access is the first step. If someone 369 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 3: who uses has access, then that's a problem. And guess what, 370 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 3: we have access all the time. I just told you 371 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 3: I had to silence three devices. I have access to 372 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 3: three devices. I remember when I had the Nokia and 373 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 3: the flip phone. It wasn't as seamless. And that's the 374 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,400 Speaker 3: other issue. The experience is so seamless. We praise these 375 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 3: devices that just get us right. We don't want something 376 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 3: that's clunky. But the problem is that when you have access, 377 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 3: it's seamless, it's easy to get your high, so to speak. 378 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 3: Then it's habit forming. And then with most of the 379 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 3: substances that I see, at least in my practice, there 380 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 3: tends to be something missing. There tends to be something 381 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 3: in the person that has to find comfort in overuse 382 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 3: of anything. Right. So it could be trauma that's unresolved. 383 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 3: It could be a lack of meat full connections. It 384 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 3: could be a replacement for feeling lonely, so there tends 385 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 3: to be something else. And so I find that people 386 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 3: who have a harder time with finding balance in their use. 387 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 3: And so we want to understand that a bit more 388 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 3: because I want to tailor my treatment to the individual 389 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 3: and not just say, well it's because everyone's like this, 390 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 3: or everyone has a childhood trauma or everyone. We want 391 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 3: to understand what's happening with each person. And that's why 392 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 3: the beginning and end of RESET are reflective, because I 393 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,919 Speaker 3: want you to really understand what's happening in you and 394 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 3: why that there's this need to soothe in a healthy way. 395 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: And I wonder if you can dig a little more 396 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 1: into that for us, doctor Joseph, Like, what kinds of 397 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: questions would somebody ask for them to be able to 398 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: uncover whether there is some concern around their social media usage? 399 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 1: Because you said sometimes other people will see it, right, 400 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,120 Speaker 1: like your kids will say like, Mama, never see your face, 401 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 1: you always on your phone or whatever. But what are 402 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: some questions we can ask ourselves to examine our relationship. 403 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 3: Well, I say that understanding how you feel is sometimes 404 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 3: the most challenging part. And so when I ask my patients, 405 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 3: what do you feel when you're using it, They're like, well, 406 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,679 Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm bored. Okay, Well let's go a 407 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,239 Speaker 3: step before that. What were you feeling right before you 408 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 3: were bored? And sometimes they're like, well, I don't know. 409 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 3: And I'll encourage my patients to journal and to write 410 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,360 Speaker 3: down their feelings, similar to the way that with children 411 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 3: in school, we show them the faces and we show 412 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 3: them like, this is a sad face, this is an 413 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 3: anxious face, this is an angry face. Sometimes I have 414 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,160 Speaker 3: to do that with my adult patients and say, well, 415 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 3: let's use the face shart. How are you feeling? And 416 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,159 Speaker 3: many times they'll say I was feeling anxious, I was 417 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 3: feeling unsettled, I was feeling lonely, I felt fatigued, and 418 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 3: I just didn't have anything left in me. So I 419 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 3: just got onto this device and before I know it, 420 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 3: hours have passed. So understanding how you feel is important. 421 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 3: And here's why. If we enter a room and it's 422 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 3: dark and we hear a scary noise, we're just going 423 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 3: to start swinging right as if our life depended on it. 424 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 3: But if somebody turned that light on and we saw, oh, 425 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 3: a book fell, we're not gonna be swinging, we're going 426 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,640 Speaker 3: to understand what we're dealing with, what we're working with, 427 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 3: So understanding how you feel is just as important because 428 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,920 Speaker 3: as human beings, we're afraid of the unknown, and if 429 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 3: we don't know how we feel, we're not going to 430 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,360 Speaker 3: know how to appropriately respond. And that's a very very 431 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 3: big step. And people acknowledging whatever it is that they're feeling, 432 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,919 Speaker 3: then we work on how do we address that. So 433 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,920 Speaker 3: if it's anxiety, we may want to do some more 434 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 3: grounded techniques, more somatic or bodily techniques. With my clients, 435 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 3: the younger ones, I'll have them sit on the chairs 436 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,119 Speaker 3: in my office and we'll practice squeezing oranges with the 437 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 3: stress balls and so we use a lot of vivid 438 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 3: imagery with them and get playful. But with my adult patients, 439 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,919 Speaker 3: we'll do some deep diaphragmatic breathing because many of them 440 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 3: are not aware that they're holding so much in their body, 441 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 3: that they're holding their breath all day long, and that 442 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 3: they're not breathing in the way that is the best 443 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 3: suited a way to release some of that tension. My 444 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 3: clients will sit and we'll do progressive muscle relaxation because 445 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 3: they're not aware that they're holding a lot of their 446 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,640 Speaker 3: stress in their shoulders. And so we'll focus on these 447 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 3: tiny muscle groups and mastering relaxing and tensing them so 448 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 3: that eventually they can calm down that fight or flight 449 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 3: sensation on their own and use it and practice it 450 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 3: when they're not in fighter flight so that they're able 451 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 3: to utilize it readily when they are in an anxious situation. 452 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 3: If it's depression. I want to understand that because a 453 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,360 Speaker 3: lot of my clients have something that I call antedonia. 454 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 3: It's in the medical literature, it's been around for ages, 455 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 3: but a lot of people don't know what it is, 456 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 3: but it's literally a lack of pleasure and interest. What 457 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 3: they'll describe is, eh, I feel this blah. But I 458 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 3: find that is associated highly with overt technology usage because 459 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 3: you're constantly online, you're checking emails, you're using these devices 460 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 3: to give you that boost of dope. Mean, but over time, 461 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 3: it's not going to make you feel satiated, and those 462 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 3: are unnatural ways to boost your dopamine levels. And so 463 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 3: what I'll do with these clients is I'll say you're 464 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 3: not gonna feel like getting up, You're not going to 465 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 3: feel like exercise. You're not going to feel like going 466 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 3: for a walk, but we're not going to wait for 467 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 3: you to feel like you want to do those things. 468 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 3: What we're gonna do is we're gonna shift that cognitive 469 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 3: behavioral therapy triangle and we're going to start the behavior first. 470 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,880 Speaker 3: We're going to have you getting up and walking when 471 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 3: you're feeling eh, when you're having that in Edonia, and 472 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 3: then we're going to see how your thoughts and your 473 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 3: feelings are. Then we're going to track that because sometimes 474 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 3: the behavior actually drives the thinking and the feelings, similar 475 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 3: to when people say, when you wake up in the morning, 476 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 3: make your bed, because it's the behavior that is pushing 477 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 3: the feelings and the thinking in the right direction and 478 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 3: not necessarily trying to challenge the thought. 479 00:25:51,560 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: Beautiful more from our conversation after the break. So, you 480 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: mentioned earlier that one of the things that you're seeing, 481 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,480 Speaker 1: especially with your younger patients, is the difficulty with like 482 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 1: social reciprocity. And we do know lots of people talk 483 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: about like how social media has impacted their relationships, So 484 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: can you dig a little deeper into that, like what 485 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: kinds of concerns are you seeing with some of your patients, 486 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: whether that be romantic relationships, photonic relationships with their family, 487 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 1: what's happening. 488 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 2: You know. 489 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 3: What's interesting is that Gen Z is the first generation 490 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 3: to be born into a world where social media was 491 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 3: always there, the Internet was always there. So they deal 492 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 3: with these unique challenges that older generations did not have 493 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:46,719 Speaker 3: to deal with. 494 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: Right. 495 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 3: These are people who were born into world where their 496 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 3: parents were looking at their phones instead of looking at them. 497 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 3: Imagine that and when you see a baby born. When 498 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 3: I was in medical school, we would deliver babies and 499 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 3: from it was just like the most miraculous thing and 500 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 3: never got tired of it because every baby was like 501 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 3: a miracle. When the parent held the baby up, the 502 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 3: baby would start imitating the parent automatically. They didn't have 503 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,919 Speaker 3: to learn it. They learned it from their parents. So 504 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 3: you would see like the parents making these googly faces 505 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 3: and the baby would do it. It would be delayed 506 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 3: because the baby's processing is slower, but the parent would 507 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,920 Speaker 3: stick their tongue out, the baby would stick their tongue 508 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 3: out a couple of seconds later. So if you have 509 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,440 Speaker 3: this generation where they weren't getting as much of that 510 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 3: interaction because either the parents were busy with the screens 511 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 3: or they were getting a lot of their one on 512 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 3: one replaced with screens. Then you're set up for challenges 513 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 3: with social reciprocity, right, you're not able to recuse as 514 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 3: well as a child who didn't have that replaced that 515 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 3: interaction in real life replaced by a digital interaction or 516 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 3: a screen. And being aware of this is really helpful 517 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 3: because many people aren't aware of this. And the other 518 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 3: thing is that when you're online constantly gen Z I 519 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 3: find within my practice, they're constantly comparing themselves to other people. 520 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 3: Generations before didn't have that constant comparison. You didn't know 521 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,919 Speaker 3: what someone was doing all the time. You didn't know 522 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 3: that people were like having a macho latte and you weren't. 523 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 3: All of that information was not necessary before. You have 524 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:26,399 Speaker 3: this generation that's been bombarded with information since they were babies, 525 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 3: since there were children, since there were teens, and then 526 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 3: on top of it, they were being captured digitally and 527 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 3: their information was put up there by their parents. So 528 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 3: they just have so many more challenges. I have a 529 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 3: lot of empathy for this generation. I do think that 530 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: they have strengths. McKinsey did a recent study looking at 531 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 3: generations and how they tend to interact in society and 532 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 3: what they found with this study that was based in 533 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 3: Brazil because it had the largest consumer population of multi generations. 534 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 3: What they found was that this Gen Z population, they're 535 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 3: more into making sure that their paars are doing well. 536 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 3: They're not okay with having progress if everyone doesn't have progress. 537 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: They have a lot of strengths. They are more open 538 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 3: about their mental health and early generations. But we also 539 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 3: have diacknowledges the challenges that they have and empathize with 540 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 3: them because they have challenges that we didn't have due 541 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 3: to their exposure, their NonStop exposure. And we want to 542 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 3: arm them with knowledge because again, if you know what 543 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 3: you're dealing with, if you know, oh that's why I 544 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 3: feel this way, It's not just me. There's not something 545 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 3: wrong with me. I just didn't know that this was harmful, 546 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 3: then they actually can do something about it. They can 547 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 3: make that decision to do something about it. We don't 548 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 3: want to be preaching and tell them what to do. 549 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 3: We know that when people are intrinsically motivated to change, 550 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 3: their outcome is better. When they try to change, they're 551 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 3: gonna have better results than if we're like, you should 552 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 3: do this right, and that's all humans, regardless of generations, 553 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 3: and so we have to make sure that we put 554 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 3: out that information there. That's why I use my social 555 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,719 Speaker 3: media platform to educate. Sometimes I get a lot of like, 556 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 3: well what am I supposed to do now? Like my 557 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 3: kid's been looking at screens and you know, oh great, 558 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 3: I feel bad. It's not for that reason. It's to 559 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 3: give you the education because we don't have the education. 560 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 3: Many of us don't have the time to read journals, right, 561 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 3: we don't have time to do the research. And so 562 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 3: learning as much as you can listen to a podcasts, 563 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 3: read a short article, educational, take an online test to 564 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 3: see what your habits are like. These are all ways 565 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 3: that you can have agency and eventually, I think master 566 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 3: a good balance and then consider a reset and figure 567 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 3: out how to work with technology to enhance your life 568 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 3: versus having it potentially harm your well being. 569 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: So you've mentioned this idea of comparison a couple of times, 570 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: and that comes up quite a lot in the Therapy 571 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 1: for Black Girls community as well. So it seems like 572 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: this is an issue across generations, right, Like young kids 573 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: are comparing themselves and we also have older adults who 574 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 1: are comparing themselves, Like you said, like who's having a 575 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: lot to you? What kind of workout are you doing? 576 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 1: Like that kind of thing. What tips do you have 577 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: for people to kind of stop that habit of comparing 578 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: themselves to what they're seeing online. 579 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 3: So within my reset construct, some of it is time boundaries, 580 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 3: so you can enforce, Okay, I'm going to limit the 581 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 3: amount of time I spend on these accounts on social 582 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 3: media in general, and that could be done very slowly. 583 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 3: I recommend not doing a cold turkey because again, some 584 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 3: people have withdrawal, they have FOMO, and so that's one 585 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 3: thing that you can do. Another thing you can do 586 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 3: is an account boundary, so like you're only going to 587 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 3: follow certain accounts that you feel are authentic, where people 588 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 3: are showing their good and their bad days. They're not 589 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 3: just showing when everything's going great. It could be a 590 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,239 Speaker 3: full on boundary as to whether or not you're going 591 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 3: to post, because I think that for many of us, 592 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 3: it's this rejection that we feel when we post and 593 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 3: we don't get the feedback that we hoped we would receive, 594 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 3: or we get negative feedback. So some people are okay 595 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 3: with I'm just gonna like, use this account just to 596 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 3: see how my friends are doing and not post about myself. 597 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 3: That's a boundary within yourself, right within your own practices. 598 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 2: It could be Okay. 599 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,719 Speaker 3: What I'm going to do is I'll only follow accounts 600 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 3: that give me meaningful information and not the frivolous stuff, 601 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 3: because we are not aware of how the frivolous stuff 602 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 3: impacts us. I love fashion, but sometimes I have to 603 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 3: unfollow some fashion brands because if I see another perfect image, 604 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 3: I'm gonna be like, oh, like, maybe I shouldn't have 605 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 3: had that bagel or whatever, you know, like so I'm 606 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,480 Speaker 3: guilty of it too. I have to unfollow some things 607 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 3: because they're not healthy for me. And so I think 608 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 3: that we have to figure out a way that works 609 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 3: for ourselves, that works for our own wellness, that meets 610 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 3: our individual needs. But that requires getting to know ourselves. 611 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,720 Speaker 3: And sometimes you may need to actually sit with a 612 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 3: therapist and go over what some of your practices are 613 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 3: because it's not as readily apparent to all of us 614 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 3: and we need help. So sometimes I'll sit with my 615 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 3: clients and I'll go through what they typically look through. 616 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 3: I'll sit with them and look at the accounts and 617 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 3: we'll talk about how they feel and what they did 618 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 3: after or before. 619 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 2: And so sometimes you do need that. 620 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,240 Speaker 1: Support you mentioned earlier. This idea is sometimes because because 621 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: of what you do for work, you can't just get 622 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: off social media, right, And I'm thinking about content creators specifically, right, 623 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: So this idea that you make your money, you make 624 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,960 Speaker 1: your living based on posting online and being visible. But 625 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 1: we know the algorithms are always changing. Right. So you 626 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: just mentioned you post something and then you only get 627 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: twelve likes and what that might do to your self 628 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: esteem or your mental health. Can you say a little 629 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 1: bit about what should content creators keep in mind given 630 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: that they may have to be on these platforms more 631 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 1: than most people. 632 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 3: For content creators, know your business, know your industry, you know, 633 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 3: like researching it and understanding that the algorithm does xyz 634 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 3: and why it does that. I think that's the first 635 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 3: step and that's a part of the education, part of 636 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 3: reset the E. The first E is educating yourself because 637 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 3: when you know that, Okay, this is not me, this 638 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,200 Speaker 3: is the algorithm, a part of your brain, the unconscious, 639 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 3: will take that in and you won't feel as bad 640 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 3: when you have that education and that information and what 641 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 3: you're going to do with that knowledge is important. So 642 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 3: knowing that the algorithm will sometimes reward you and sometimes 643 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 3: will not reward you, what are you going to do 644 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 3: with that information? Are you going to spend your time 645 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 3: constantly checking that platform if you know that it's hit 646 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 3: or miss right? Are you going to take the time 647 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 3: to say, Okay, I'm going to leave this phone outside 648 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,839 Speaker 3: of my room. I'm not going to keep it in 649 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,680 Speaker 3: my bedroom because then I'm going to keep checking it. 650 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 3: So what are you going to do with that information? 651 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 3: Are you going to use it to create your plan, 652 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 3: your strategy? So I want people to be mindful about 653 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 3: that and to really think about what they're going to 654 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,680 Speaker 3: do with that information that they've learned. Are they going 655 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,799 Speaker 3: to implement that into their better practices? Are they going 656 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 3: to create change within their lives? And if they're resistant, 657 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 3: then I want to understand that a bit more. Why 658 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 3: are they resistant now that they know this and they 659 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 3: know that there are options and solutions? What's decreasing their 660 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 3: motivation to change? And for me as a therapist, I 661 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,400 Speaker 3: like to understand that because I feel like when my 662 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 3: patients understand that they can make better choices. 663 00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So something else 664 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: that comes up quite often is the level of distressing 665 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 1: images we are privy to on social media, right, Like, 666 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: there's no shortage of awful things happening all across the world, 667 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 1: and sometimes you will stumble across videos and different kinds 668 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: of things that I think are often very violent and 669 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,560 Speaker 1: traumatic to witness. What kinds of things or strategies would 670 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: you suggest for people around how to take care of themselves, 671 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: given that you could stumble upon kind of anything online 672 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: At this point. 673 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,399 Speaker 3: It's really a recent phenomenon. When I was growing up, 674 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 3: we didn't have constant information. 675 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 2: I saw this meme. 676 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 3: I don't know who first posted it, but I find 677 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,799 Speaker 3: it to be very brilliant. This woman says that she's 678 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 3: on a plane and she's afraid of flying, and she says, 679 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,120 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna sleep on this flight because I'm gonna 680 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 3: use all my mental energy to keep this plane. 681 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 2: In the air. 682 00:35:55,600 --> 00:36:00,160 Speaker 3: And I love that meme because as human beings, we 683 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,320 Speaker 3: are like, well, if I don't follow every news story, 684 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 3: if I don't respond and champion every cause for this 685 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 3: specific belief, then I'm failing the group. And it's so 686 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,960 Speaker 3: not true. For hundreds of years, things went on in 687 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 3: the world and we didn't know about them. It's not 688 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 3: to say that it's not important, because we do want 689 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,600 Speaker 3: to make sure that we are informed, but there is 690 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 3: no need unless you are like a journalist who's specifically 691 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 3: covering a region. There is no need for us to 692 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 3: be informed twenty. 693 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:32,240 Speaker 2: Four to seven. 694 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 3: And collective trauma is real. PTSD that is secondary is real. 695 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 3: When we see things that are life threatening, that are violent, 696 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 3: that are just horrifying, we can experience trauma responses. And 697 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 3: so again that's where the knowledge comes in. I do 698 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 3: a lot of content about that guard your brain, Like 699 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,560 Speaker 3: when whatever you see leaves a print on your brain, 700 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,080 Speaker 3: it leaves a print on your soul, your spirit. So 701 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 3: we want to limit it to the best of our 702 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 3: ability those that exposure to those horrifying images, because they 703 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 3: may lead to secondary PTSD symptoms, which are poor sleep, nightmares, 704 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:15,760 Speaker 3: feeling tense, having poor concentration, feeling angry at the world, 705 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,480 Speaker 3: feeling like there's no safe place in the world. For 706 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 3: some people, it's reckless behavior. Some people feel as if 707 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 3: they're not in touch with their bodies. They have dissociative experiences, 708 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,760 Speaker 3: and especially people who have a history of trauma. Again, 709 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 3: if you have a history of your own personal trauma, 710 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 3: being exposed to these secondary traumas can trigger your own 711 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 3: trauma response. So knowledge is so powerful. If you know this, 712 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 3: then you can make hopefully more informed decisions, better decisions 713 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 3: moving forward. 714 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 1: So you mentioned doctor Joseph. Then going cold Turkey completely 715 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 1: disconnecting from social media maybe difficult for people. Can you 716 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 1: get us started with maybe some no phone zones or 717 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,400 Speaker 1: no device zones that if we want to take this 718 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: first step, where should we start? 719 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 3: Well, if you're in your home, I say, I used 720 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,400 Speaker 3: to be an anti sociologists before I switched to psychiatry, 721 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 3: and the most important parts of anesesia were the takeoff 722 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,239 Speaker 3: like a pilot and the landing. Right, So you put 723 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,480 Speaker 3: the patient under, then you wake them up, and I 724 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 3: say the same things to my patient. The most important 725 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,799 Speaker 3: part of your day is how you start your day 726 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 3: and how you end your day, because those are the 727 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 3: times when you supposedly have the most control. Right when 728 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 3: you leave the house, things can happen, work can happen, 729 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 3: school can happen, life happens. 730 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:31,600 Speaker 2: Right, But I hope. 731 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,400 Speaker 3: For many people they have some more power as to 732 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 3: how they start and end of day. So let's start there. 733 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,799 Speaker 3: Those are the baby steps. When you wake up in 734 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 3: the morning, and I'll have my clients take journals. 735 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:42,600 Speaker 2: What are you doing? 736 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 3: What's the first thing you're doing when you wake up? 737 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,799 Speaker 3: I tell you many people will say the first thing 738 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:51,400 Speaker 3: they do is check their phone. Right Now, hundreds of 739 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 3: years went by with people not having a phone next 740 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,759 Speaker 3: to them, So I think you'd be okay if you 741 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 3: put the phone outside, right, And for many people that's 742 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,719 Speaker 3: the hardest part. They want to sleep with their phone right. 743 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 3: And so if you can slowly move that phone away 744 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,080 Speaker 3: from you, So the first week, maybe not put it 745 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 3: on the nightstand, but plug it into the wall. And 746 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,000 Speaker 3: then the next week, maybe not plug it into the 747 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 3: wall in your room, but plug it into the wall 748 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 3: right outside your room. And you know, you get the idea, 749 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,200 Speaker 3: you move it further and further away from the bed 750 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 3: because even that little bit amount of light can disrupt 751 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 3: your melatonin, can disrupt your sleep. So we don't want 752 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,240 Speaker 3: people having that disruption. And also knowing that the phone 753 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,439 Speaker 3: is there and starting your day that way can set 754 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 3: you into a mood of anxiety for the rest. 755 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:36,439 Speaker 2: Of the day. 756 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 3: So with my clients, I'll say keep the phone as 757 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,320 Speaker 3: far away from the bed as possible and give yourself 758 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,399 Speaker 3: as much time in the morning as possible, because when 759 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 3: any of us are rushed, things are worse. Being rushed 760 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 3: is like probably one of the worst ways to start 761 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 3: a day. And then as you wake up and these 762 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 3: in Manhattan, I ask people to move the shades and 763 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 3: get some fresh sunlight because we are living, breathing humans, right, 764 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,880 Speaker 3: we need that vitamin. Do we need that sunlight? We 765 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,719 Speaker 3: need that to reset and restore our inner clocks. And 766 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,439 Speaker 3: drink a glass of water and just reflect and use mindfulness. 767 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,600 Speaker 3: Think about that water, think about it going down your throat, 768 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 3: think about how it feels. Try to engage your senses 769 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,400 Speaker 3: because again that's the first part of reset, the realization, 770 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,920 Speaker 3: you know. And so if you can do that for 771 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 3: the beginning of your day and then the end of 772 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,799 Speaker 3: your day, right, I mentioned that melatonin is important, So 773 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 3: try to keep that digital light as low as possible, 774 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,840 Speaker 3: try not to use any of it if possible after nine. 775 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 3: For some people who can't do that, they'll use the 776 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,840 Speaker 3: orange glasses that you can buy in the store online 777 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,680 Speaker 3: to block that digital light and try to do something 778 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,800 Speaker 3: relaxing before you go to bed, not checking emails, because 779 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,359 Speaker 3: the emails will really make you anxious if you're checking 780 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,360 Speaker 3: before bed, doom scrolling will make you anxious before you 781 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,919 Speaker 3: go to bed. Journaling is a great replacement. So put 782 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,360 Speaker 3: three things for the day that you're grateful for and 783 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,600 Speaker 3: next to three things that you're worried about, and then 784 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,360 Speaker 3: close it and then put it away, right, So you're unloading, 785 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 3: unpacking your worries onto something and then also being grateful 786 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 3: and putting it away. So these are calming things you 787 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 3: can do at the end of the day, along with 788 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 3: other things. There's a slew of sleep hygiene things. But 789 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:16,960 Speaker 3: if you can start with the beginning and the end 790 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,960 Speaker 3: of your day, I think that's a great start. I 791 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,840 Speaker 3: think it's harder in the middle of the day because 792 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,960 Speaker 3: many people work online and they need to check their emails. 793 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,399 Speaker 3: But you know, some small things that you can do 794 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 3: during your work days. Okay, maybe you can get up 795 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,680 Speaker 3: during lunch, maybe you don't have to eat through lunch 796 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,640 Speaker 3: looking at your screen, or if you don't have that luxury, 797 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 3: maybe you can at least take five minutes away from 798 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,759 Speaker 3: your desk to go get a cup of tea or 799 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 3: get a glass of water to go to the bathroom, 800 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,359 Speaker 3: because many people work throughout their day and don't even 801 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 3: use a bathroom. Inm I study on high functioning depression, 802 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,920 Speaker 3: I see this a lot, people just working through their day, eating, 803 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,120 Speaker 3: drinking at their desk, not going in the bathroom, rushing home, 804 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,759 Speaker 3: you know. So like, try and be mindful about those 805 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,880 Speaker 3: tiny breaks during the day if you can. But I 806 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 3: feel like you have more mastery agency over the beginning 807 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 3: and ends of the day because you're home supposedly. 808 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,000 Speaker 1: Thank you for those tips. I think those would be 809 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 1: super helpful for people. So I'm really curious to hear 810 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 1: more about this transition from anthesiology to psychiatry. Can you 811 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,920 Speaker 1: give me the short version of that story and what 812 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: prompted that change. 813 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,760 Speaker 3: Well, I was raised in a very traditional Caribbean religious household. 814 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 3: My dad's a pastor, and mental health was not really 815 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,880 Speaker 3: talked about in a way that being explained as a 816 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 3: spiritual issue. And so when I went to college, I 817 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,200 Speaker 3: do I studied religion and biology and chemistry, so I 818 00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 3: was like, okay, which is the real thing? And then 819 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 3: I came to a point in my life that I 820 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,520 Speaker 3: don't have to choose. I can have faith, and I 821 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,960 Speaker 3: could have spirituality, and I can also believe in science. 822 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,680 Speaker 3: And when I went to medical school, I just found 823 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,359 Speaker 3: that I wasn't feeling fulfilled in my field of anti soziology, 824 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 3: and I wanted to talk to patients. And I remember 825 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,279 Speaker 3: when I was in medical school, before I matched into 826 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 3: anissiology residency, I did a rotation in South Africa where 827 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 3: we were working with these children who had severe levels 828 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 3: of trauma, and we did these trauma based focused groups 829 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 3: with them, trauma based cognitive behavioral therapy. That was like 830 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,239 Speaker 3: the best I felt throughout all of medical school, and 831 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,359 Speaker 3: I thought, wouldn't be great if I could just do that, 832 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,440 Speaker 3: you know, instead of something where I feel as if 833 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,480 Speaker 3: I'm not really making a difference. And don't get me wrong, 834 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 3: and sociologists, I have a high respect for them. They 835 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,840 Speaker 3: have to keep patients alive during a surgery and then 836 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,919 Speaker 3: wake them up and then make sure they're not in pain. 837 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,799 Speaker 3: It's a very difficult job. But it wasn't fulfilling for me, 838 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 3: and I just felt as if I wasn't being my 839 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,920 Speaker 3: authentic self. I was doing what I thought would make 840 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 3: my parents proud, and in a Caribbean household. If you 841 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,719 Speaker 3: tell them I'm gonna leave this profession where I'm in 842 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,759 Speaker 3: the operating room and I'm gonna go and work with 843 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,880 Speaker 3: people who have mental health issues, They're like, why are 844 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:45,839 Speaker 3: you gonna go and work with them? 845 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:46,799 Speaker 2: Crazy people? You know? 846 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 3: And I had to educate my community that what we 847 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,520 Speaker 3: were seeing in the church, we're calling it spirits, that 848 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 3: was a psychotic condition, you know, the person may have 849 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,879 Speaker 3: had trauma. And I think that at least within my church, 850 00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,880 Speaker 3: it's grown significantly, But there was a lot of taboo. 851 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 3: And I'm so fortunate that my program at Columbia had 852 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,600 Speaker 3: an opening that I was able to switch from anti 853 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 3: sociology there to psychiatry and never looked back. Psychiatry is 854 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 3: so rewarding on so many levels. And I run a 855 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,440 Speaker 3: lab here, so I'm still able to do the procedures 856 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,840 Speaker 3: that I love from antistiology, but I apply them to 857 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:26,000 Speaker 3: behavioral science, and I'm able to use the knowledge in 858 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,520 Speaker 3: my lab to educate people to make these videos that 859 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:33,680 Speaker 3: are simple but evidence based and bring science to the 860 00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:36,440 Speaker 3: masses in a way that it's easy to digest and 861 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,720 Speaker 3: they are feeling as if they're going back to school. 862 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,560 Speaker 3: I love when people are like, oh, I'm learning so much. 863 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 3: That was the point, you know, to make these videos 864 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,839 Speaker 3: that are where you're learning. Because again, if you don't 865 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 3: know what you're dealing with, if you're in the dark, 866 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 3: you're going to be afraid. You're going to be swinging. 867 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,560 Speaker 3: But then when you know what you're dealing with, you're 868 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 3: not gonna be swinging. You're gonna make informed decisions. 869 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,880 Speaker 1: Well, we are grateful that you answered that calling and 870 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,279 Speaker 1: stepped into that for Thank you for sharing with me. 871 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 1: I can talk to you all day. I feel like 872 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,600 Speaker 1: doctor Joseph, and I know you have a busy schedule 873 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,480 Speaker 1: and have to get back to your day, So tell 874 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: us where can we stay connected with you? What's your 875 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,000 Speaker 1: website as well as any social media handles you'd like 876 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: to share. 877 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,680 Speaker 3: I enjoyed speaking with you. I'm a huge fan of 878 00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,879 Speaker 3: your work and so fortunate for doctors like you who 879 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 3: put themselves out there. 880 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,560 Speaker 2: It's risky, but you do it. 881 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,560 Speaker 3: And it is so beneficial to millions of people. So 882 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,919 Speaker 3: thank you for having me. You can find me at 883 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:29,160 Speaker 3: doctor Judith Joseph on TikTok and Instagram, and that's also 884 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,960 Speaker 3: my website name. And I started a newsletter and a 885 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,920 Speaker 3: podcast where I can give informative tips that I use 886 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,839 Speaker 3: in my practice and hopefully with your therapist. You can 887 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,640 Speaker 3: use these tips to support your mental health, but we 888 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,200 Speaker 3: will be sure to include all of that in the 889 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,359 Speaker 3: show notes. Thank you so much for spending some time 890 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:46,040 Speaker 3: with us today. 891 00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:47,319 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. 892 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,839 Speaker 1: I'm so glad Doctor Joseph was able to share her 893 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,719 Speaker 1: exercise with us today. To learn more about her and 894 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,120 Speaker 1: the work she's doing, be sure to visit the show 895 00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,719 Speaker 1: notes at therapyfroth Blackgirls dot com slash Session three forty two, 896 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 1: and don't forget to text this episode to two of 897 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,000 Speaker 1: your girls right now and encourage them to check out 898 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,400 Speaker 1: the episode. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, 899 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,240 Speaker 1: visit our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com 900 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,560 Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you're looking for a support system 901 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,359 Speaker 1: to aid you in your New Year journey, join us 902 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,120 Speaker 1: over in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of 903 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:27,080 Speaker 1: the Internet where we celebrate support and practice vulnerability each 904 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:30,680 Speaker 1: week this January, we're setting the foundation to turn our 905 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:34,719 Speaker 1: resolutions into realities. You can join us at community dot 906 00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:38,480 Speaker 1: Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode was produced by 907 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,719 Speaker 1: Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis and Zaria Taylor. Editing was done 908 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,640 Speaker 1: by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me 909 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,920 Speaker 1: again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation 910 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,320 Speaker 1: with you all real soon. 911 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:59,640 Speaker 2: Take good care. What's