Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. O Ni Glazers, here's Nikki. Hello
Speaker 1: here I am, I'm Nikki. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Good
Speaker 1: Wednesday to you all. Um, I'm here with Andrew Collin
Speaker 1: in St. Louis. Noah is in Arizona. What's up Noah? Um, Guys,
Speaker 1: people like don't believe that I live in St. Louis.
Speaker 1: It's been the funniest phenomenon of like doing press for
Speaker 1: this show, Welcome back, Nicki Glazer, because the whole all
Speaker 1: the precess about how I moved back to St. Louis.
Speaker 1: There's a reality show and then afterwards these like you know,
Speaker 1: people like the Kelly Clarksons, the Doctor Phils, the Caitlin Bristows,
Speaker 1: like these aren't the people that actually said it, but
Speaker 1: like that, you know, the people interviewing me off air
Speaker 1: will go so where do you live now? And I
Speaker 1: go St Louis Like like almost like were you not
Speaker 1: listening to the interview? Like did you do the j
Speaker 1: Leno thing? Jay Leno Notory Sleep had this moment where
Speaker 1: he interviewed a celebrity and then saw them in the
Speaker 1: parking lot less than an hour later, and they say
Speaker 1: goodbye and he didn't remember who they were or interviewing
Speaker 1: them because he's so just like in a different world
Speaker 1: when he's interviewing. But that's not the case with these
Speaker 1: It's that everyone thinks reality shows are fake, so they
Speaker 1: think that this was just last yesterday. I did Lady
Speaker 1: Gang podcast and Keltie from that was like, I thought
Speaker 1: you were a genius when I saw this. She just
Speaker 1: came up with this idea. But you know, girl moves
Speaker 1: back home, which honestly is a great idea. It's something
Speaker 1: celebrities would do to create a show. And she was like,
Speaker 1: and then I watched it, and then I looked into it.
Speaker 1: I go, she's actually like at home, Like there's actually
Speaker 1: footage of her with her parents, like currently, like did
Speaker 1: she pull a Highlie Jenner and like like back up
Speaker 1: this footage so that she could have it for when
Speaker 1: she went away to her stuff, you know, and no,
Speaker 1: but it's just so funny. It keeps happening where people
Speaker 1: after an interview will go, where are you living now?
Speaker 1: And I just like, you had your parents buy that house,
Speaker 1: build it years ago. For today somebody wrote me and goes,
Speaker 1: why don't you pay your parents about her house? Because
Speaker 1: that house is dope. Also, the house is two stories
Speaker 1: from the back, bitch, oh from the back. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a ramp style on the front, but on the
Speaker 1: back it has it like a mullet of a house. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like built into a hill. It is a bullet house.
Speaker 1: That house and the best perfect house to me, Like
Speaker 1: if I would actually own a house, it's so fucking comfortable.
Speaker 1: It's like a couch. The house is a nice couch.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what would here, but but
Speaker 1: I do love that house and it has cool design
Speaker 1: in it. They've spent a lot of time like making
Speaker 1: it look cool. It was just like, yeah, why don't
Speaker 1: you get her one of those houses in Vegas that
Speaker 1: are made out of ceramic. Yeah, that would be the one,
Speaker 1: and with a waterfall pool. And I'm not that rich,
Speaker 1: we'll get richer like my mom a house rich. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I am, But like then it would I'm
Speaker 1: saving up for when they get cancer. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: rather spend my money on that. Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: wouldn't rather, but like it going will happen, Like people
Speaker 1: in my life gonna get sick, and I want them
Speaker 1: to feel okay when they get sick that they don't
Speaker 1: have to stress out. I've said this before. When you
Speaker 1: get sick, the bills that you have, that you accrue
Speaker 1: when you're treating the illness give you so much stress
Speaker 1: that your cancer, whatever it is, gets worse. And if
Speaker 1: you were to get cancer and like know that it
Speaker 1: was all taken care of, like you know, living in
Speaker 1: Sweden or somewhere where they take care of that stuff,
Speaker 1: we would have less illness. Because people stress causes illness,
Speaker 1: but stress over paying medical bills. It's just also fucked
Speaker 1: our country, so fucked. Buy a house for your mom,
Speaker 1: like late cancer, so then you get you get the house,
Speaker 1: you know you can don't even have to move into
Speaker 1: the master just you know what I mean, Oh, buy
Speaker 1: my mom cancer I could buy I can't cancer. Buy
Speaker 1: your parents a house when they're the way I did
Speaker 1: buy the cancer. I buy them you know, pizza from
Speaker 1: Emos all the time. People that like I just anyone
Speaker 1: giving me any kind of ship about anything. I like
Speaker 1: you literally ingest animals who are suffering, whose whole lives
Speaker 1: are stress, who are like eating ship living in shit
Speaker 1: because you you you know, if you if you eat
Speaker 1: a ballpark hot dog. Sorry, you're eating cancer. That is
Speaker 1: like something that will cause something in your body later on.
Speaker 1: I don't eat that ship. I don't think I'm better
Speaker 1: than you because I don't. But you don't get to
Speaker 1: lecture me about the air I'm breathing or the chemicals
Speaker 1: I'm using in my makeup that's just on my skin.
Speaker 1: You're actually swallowing and letting it in you. I'm just
Speaker 1: letting it like hang out with me. It's like cancer's
Speaker 1: date raping me. But you're getting like attacked and shoved
Speaker 1: into a bush. Not that there's any difference between those. God,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you, know what I mean. Like, I'm
Speaker 1: just like casually dating cancer and you're letting you're letting
Speaker 1: it fun you and you're letting it in you. So no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know, no, get lecture me. But maybe a vegetarian
Speaker 1: told you to buy your mom's a house. Vegetarians still
Speaker 1: are eating processed sheep vegan. Yeah, well I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying there's nothing. I just don't listen. I lecture
Speaker 1: people all the time. They doth protest too much. Nick,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing crocs right now. I got crocs. I am
Speaker 1: obsessed with crocs, but they look so bad and I
Speaker 1: have boots on. Did you just get those? Ye, Taylor Stitch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they hooked it up nice. I love them, but I
Speaker 1: guess most vegan friendly shoes. I don't care. Um are
Speaker 1: they comfortable? I gotta get used to him. I think
Speaker 1: there's a It's like, I'm sure Ronald McDonald didn't love
Speaker 1: his shoes the first day he put them on. But
Speaker 1: their money maker. That what inspired you to go to boots?
Speaker 1: Who marketmor in? Hep seeing his feet a lot's feet,
Speaker 1: his feet, his feet, his feed, his feet on his feet.
Speaker 1: I just know that he rocks really cool boots and
Speaker 1: he has cool good He's a cool guy. Yes, he
Speaker 1: is a very cool He tries very hard to be
Speaker 1: cool like older and cool. He always has like he
Speaker 1: has a look. I think he has good taste, so
Speaker 1: it doesn't probably doesn't need to try. But like some
Speaker 1: people that just have good taste, so it looks like
Speaker 1: they have stumbled into that taste. Like if you look,
Speaker 1: there's a I actually sent him Twitter he has at
Speaker 1: the comic strip on the Upper east Side. He's wearing
Speaker 1: like a comically maybe it's for effect, but he just
Speaker 1: looks like the nerdiest like you setn't do him on Twitter? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Does he want? You know? This was years ago? This
Speaker 1: is like him? And uh he also is a man
Speaker 1: that a Jewish man probably of um uh descent, who
Speaker 1: looks way better with facial hair than no facial hair.
Speaker 1: If you look at photos of him no facial hair
Speaker 1: at least I see it, and I see that in myself,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, well, might as well copy is? Look
Speaker 1: that makes sense? Like I often do the same thing
Speaker 1: with um you know women who look like me. I like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh that is a good Like it's easier
Speaker 1: to picture myself and what they're wearing, and so it's
Speaker 1: easier to rip off with their fashion. I just know
Speaker 1: that I'm not Ah, I would love to be a
Speaker 1: guy that wears these loud colors and like it's kind
Speaker 1: of gre all over the place because you were like
Speaker 1: do I wear loud colors? And now today you're like
Speaker 1: Mark Maron very subdued. You know, you look like Anthony
Speaker 1: Mark Bourdaine was buried in today, like you go you
Speaker 1: are you are habitual. There's there's a word that comes
Speaker 1: to mind when I think of you. You are impulsive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not compulse of impulsive. Yes, do you know the difference?
Speaker 1: Last night and three in the morning, I bought another
Speaker 1: pair of boots because now I'm a boot guy? And twice,
Speaker 1: why do you need another pair? Because I don't like
Speaker 1: how these are light on the bottom. I wanted one
Speaker 1: that are dark on the bottom. Makes sense, I just
Speaker 1: bought some new Um. I love my Adidas high tops
Speaker 1: that I got. I stole that idea from Jen, my assistant,
Speaker 1: who um just they're They're so cool. I don't understand
Speaker 1: why everyone doesn't wear them, and I don't understand why
Speaker 1: I'm not getting compliments constantly because they're the coolest looking shoes.
Speaker 1: They look good with you get more compliments. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I know you because these are peacocking. These
Speaker 1: are what guys where to get girls to be like,
Speaker 1: what are you wearing? And then you then you go
Speaker 1: I like them, and then you're confident we want to
Speaker 1: fuck you because crocs. Yes, and I got them from
Speaker 1: Alex Bordy. I think these are both I know no,
Speaker 1: I knew no it would park up Alex Borty yok
Speaker 1: yok board of I forget it's like the last name
Speaker 1: because it's so Russian. But he is one of the
Speaker 1: most beautiful men everybody made. It's crazy. He came to
Speaker 1: our show in um Fort Lauderdale, Is that right? And
Speaker 1: he has a fashion and he's like he's one someone
Speaker 1: that wears like bright colors and like will he'll do
Speaker 1: He'll run the gamut. But he's like very um, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's so hot. He would wear a male ramper, Yes,
Speaker 1: yes he would, and he pulled it off because he's
Speaker 1: just he's a model, you know, he's like that beautiful.
Speaker 1: If you don't know, he's a guy that was on
Speaker 1: um Bachelorette. I forget which season, maybe Caitlin's, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And I got to know him through the outside Lambs
Speaker 1: Festival and in San Francisco. I was there with Arden Mirren,
Speaker 1: who does a podcast about the Bachelor, and she booked
Speaker 1: she was doing a podcast at this comedy festival that
Speaker 1: was performing at and she asked me to be a
Speaker 1: guest on it. And then these guys, all these bat
Speaker 1: l guys, showed up to be on her podcast. So
Speaker 1: we were just like hanging with all these Batch guys
Speaker 1: and he was just so nice and normal. But then
Speaker 1: he and he's come to my shows over the years,
Speaker 1: and um, he brought me at this time. He was like,
Speaker 1: I want to bring you something was going to be
Speaker 1: that will um that you don't have on your rider,
Speaker 1: but that you need. And I was just like I
Speaker 1: didn't know. He was like, what what do you need?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't know. What's Florida like one
Speaker 1: of those shirts with like a bikini painted on it.
Speaker 1: I was just trying to think of something, like I'll
Speaker 1: think of something. And then and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, he's gonna bring me something like heavy, Like
Speaker 1: I don't I pack my bags for the road and
Speaker 1: each one of my bags is always forty nine point
Speaker 1: five pounds. I'm an expert at having no room in
Speaker 1: my suitcase for literally anything else or I'm gonna be charged.
Speaker 1: So when people bring me gifts, always like please be
Speaker 1: the be light and um, and he brought me crocs,
Speaker 1: which are the lightest gift you can give. And I
Speaker 1: had this whole bit about crocs that night that I
Speaker 1: he didn't know about. So it was just like so serendipitous.
Speaker 1: He looked up my shoe size on wicky feet, got
Speaker 1: it right. And I have never been I always thought
Speaker 1: crocs your feet we have the same, yes, kind of
Speaker 1: yours is a little bit bigger. But these crocs, I
Speaker 1: thought crocs would be like sweaty because they're like I
Speaker 1: just I'm like, why would you want like your wet,
Speaker 1: sweaty feet in this like rubbery. But there's something about
Speaker 1: it that they air your feet out. There's no like
Speaker 1: sweat build up. You can wear them in the snow,
Speaker 1: or you can wear not snow, but you can wear
Speaker 1: them in the rain. They dry out quickly, you can.
Speaker 1: They give you a little bit of height because they
Speaker 1: have a they have about an inch I would say
Speaker 1: an inch or about half an inch of height. They
Speaker 1: feel light, they look horrible, and they have little holes
Speaker 1: in them so you can like put in little medallions.
Speaker 1: The funny part is, Noah, he got me little um
Speaker 1: I forget what they're called, a little jewels that you
Speaker 1: put in the croc holes. But he got those with it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and one he got me MG for each one, one
Speaker 1: end and one g. And he said when he was
Speaker 1: at the croc store, the little medallions were like turned over,
Speaker 1: so the cashier had to turn each of them over
Speaker 1: to like reveal what it was. And he was like okay,
Speaker 1: and end a G a G, and there was the
Speaker 1: other one which was an end and he was like,
Speaker 1: what is this going to be like that Wheel of
Speaker 1: Fortune with yeah he oh, I never saw that where
Speaker 1: it's nagger, So they didn't know what they were spelling.
Speaker 1: On the redd wart sub. The other day someone was
Speaker 1: talking about like, my word is so pussy and it
Speaker 1: just looks like it's pussy. My ward is. It was like,
Speaker 1: look at this word is so pussy. If you say
Speaker 1: my pussy is pussy, it would bleep the first part
Speaker 1: because see is okay to say what about my pussy pussy?
Speaker 1: Did they know which one is to get rid of? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it sounds pussy. Huh, ride it down if you
Speaker 1: just write pussy pussy. Oh yeah, people don't know. You
Speaker 1: don't know which one to blur or which one to put.
Speaker 1: Those little like stars and what a crock reminds me
Speaker 1: of if you were wearing a duck's mouth, that's what
Speaker 1: That's what I would feel like you would feel on
Speaker 1: my feet. So weird you say that because they remind
Speaker 1: me of those duck boats. A duck boats people die
Speaker 1: on them in the Ozarks. You know, there's been like
Speaker 1: horrible accidents on those duck boats, the ones that go
Speaker 1: like on land and water. There was like a really
Speaker 1: bad storm and I think it was in the Ozarks
Speaker 1: and all these people fucking drowned because they all are
Speaker 1: like people who can't fucking swim, and it was like
Speaker 1: it was terrible. But yeah, they remind me of those
Speaker 1: duck boats because their water and land shoes and they
Speaker 1: kind of look like a duck smouth duck hat. Back
Speaker 1: in the day, Donald ducking shoes really Mickey Mouse and
Speaker 1: the Bill with a bill. That's cool Bill. But god,
Speaker 1: I used to love those Converse shoes that had um
Speaker 1: Looney Tunes characters on them for a while. That was
Speaker 1: like very very in. Um yeah, it was a great gift.
Speaker 1: But my name does so when I sometimes it'll like
Speaker 1: I logged into a website or something and it'll be
Speaker 1: like reminding me what my log in name is or something,
Speaker 1: and it'll it stars it out so it literally says
Speaker 1: and I star star star star star star star e R.
Speaker 1: So it's just end because my first the first part
Speaker 1: of my name is nih and then the last blazer.
Speaker 1: It truly doesn't it looks like I've written something, so terrible.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what does want anyone go with that?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? No one would expect you
Speaker 1: to go that route because your name. Oh wait, I
Speaker 1: don't want to give away your my sister used to.
Speaker 1: My sister used to um uh screamed name like she couldn't.
Speaker 1: You know, when kids say names, it doesn't sound like
Speaker 1: like last night, um Poppy got a baby doll for
Speaker 1: a birthday and she was I go, what's this baby
Speaker 1: doll's name? And she was like Alma and I was like, Elma,
Speaker 1: like that sounds like. We joked that that was like
Speaker 1: a name that my sister would name one of her kids.
Speaker 1: Were like, god, it just Poppy name your children, because
Speaker 1: my sister's you know, named her kids Poppy, Harlow and Forest.
Speaker 1: And we're like, Elma, like that's likely. But she was
Speaker 1: saying Ella. But we just you know, it just sounded
Speaker 1: different because the kid was saying it. So my sister
Speaker 1: when we would she would be screaming my name, it
Speaker 1: sounded like she was saying the N word. And my
Speaker 1: mom would have to be like, you need to annunciat
Speaker 1: the k um because she would just make the k
Speaker 1: is geez because it's a softer way for the child
Speaker 1: to say. And when how long did this last? Yeah? Yesterday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this was a conversation my mom had last night with
Speaker 1: her and said, Lauren, we need to work on the case,
Speaker 1: Like if she wants to teach in this town, she's
Speaker 1: start telling you what. It doesn't help that my name
Speaker 1: has three ks too, so I can't I can't escape.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were born to be racist. I was born.
Speaker 1: There was a subreddit yesterday about um which celebrity name
Speaker 1: sounds like a porn star? And I was just combing
Speaker 1: it for my name because my name is well, Nikki
Speaker 1: is definitely yes, glaze her. That's almost too smart, but
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like Nicki, Nicky Rocks or
Speaker 1: yea there, Nicky Cox, Nicky something more. Uh yours is
Speaker 1: a little bit highbrow. Yes, but I was looking for
Speaker 1: my name. God, I always look for my name on
Speaker 1: these like like which celebrity is your celebrity crush or
Speaker 1: something like I'm I'm you know, I'll admit I'll look
Speaker 1: for my name sometimes because people on Reddit are a
Speaker 1: little bit more savvy when they know like celebrities that
Speaker 1: are a little bit more BC list and they think
Speaker 1: they're cool because of it, you know. And I swear
Speaker 1: to God the names. Everyone loves the same women, and
Speaker 1: it's so nauseated. Anna day armis um uh funk, what
Speaker 1: are the uh there? There's j La, Like it's all
Speaker 1: the most basic stuff, and it's like, what would it
Speaker 1: be like to be one of these women that everyone
Speaker 1: wants to fuck, that everyone has this crush on. I
Speaker 1: don't think they take that in. I think I think
Speaker 1: you can only take in fifty guys wanting to fuck
Speaker 1: you before it's just like, okay, I get it more
Speaker 1: than that, but you know what I mean, though many
Speaker 1: need you or need to want to fuck you. For me,
Speaker 1: everyone would be nice, every single one truly. Um. Linda Cardelini,
Speaker 1: a lot of people like her. Um, she was on
Speaker 1: Kate Beck and Sale, she was on Jennifer Connolly, that's
Speaker 1: always one. Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, this is nice. They're
Speaker 1: all older actresses at this point. Uh yeah, these are
Speaker 1: the top ones. Oh, Alison Bree always is like Anna
Speaker 1: day Armist here she is with light eyes, Yeah, with
Speaker 1: light eyes. Yeah, that's it. The guys are just captivated. Um,
Speaker 1: Matt Margot, Robbie and Henry cavill is the one every
Speaker 1: woman says, don't you don't feel he actually looks like
Speaker 1: Alex Cope whatever that dude's name. He's just not my
Speaker 1: number one. Who do you know? Let's go first. Okay,
Speaker 1: well that's Obama and Taylor Swift. What about actors? That's
Speaker 1: a good question. Maybe we'll answer it when we get
Speaker 1: back from the break and I'm over here. Now, come
Speaker 1: in from the kitchen over the living room. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We're back. There's not my celebrity crushes. There's no A
Speaker 1: listers anymore. There's like we saw who was Oh Jacob Ellerty,
Speaker 1: Oh mama. He's like six six too. He's a tall
Speaker 1: man for an actor. He is gorgeous. He's a good
Speaker 1: looking man. I think it looks kind of weird to
Speaker 1: me though, Like he's like he's very structured, like almost
Speaker 1: too structured structure. Yes, he's too handsome, I don't like,
Speaker 1: very elongated for me. He looks like he has like
Speaker 1: he's almost like a mascot for a good looking man.
Speaker 1: Looks like a teenager and he's an old man. Danger.
Speaker 1: He does seem like his face is like this much
Speaker 1: of his mouth, eyes, and nose are in the center
Speaker 1: and the structure is around. I mean, I know that
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense. This is what I'm talking about. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like almost like there's a gravitational pull for
Speaker 1: his eyes, his nose and his mouth to go to
Speaker 1: the center, like there's a black hole, like that's being
Speaker 1: sucked into the drain of his face. But he's still
Speaker 1: I just love him. I think every time I see
Speaker 1: a picture of him, go who is that? And it's
Speaker 1: always jacobell Ardi. He has bed he does really, I
Speaker 1: mean to me, as a man looking at another man
Speaker 1: judging how big his dick is. I think he's a
Speaker 1: tall guy. He's tall and skinny. He seems to have
Speaker 1: elongated everything. Why wouldn't it ad belong. There's a CEO
Speaker 1: of him staring at Lizzo um at the Met Gallery
Speaker 1: or something like that. I don't know. It was on
Speaker 1: like the I Heart Instagram and he's giving her these
Speaker 1: eyes and they're so like tantalizing and it definitely has
Speaker 1: the b d e Andrews bed bed eyes. Wait, who's yours? Noh,
Speaker 1: and Andrew girl, I think I think about guy's ward. No,
Speaker 1: I think about girls more too, Like Olivia Wilde I
Speaker 1: think it's just insanely hot market. I've seen her once
Speaker 1: two on the street. You just go, whoa, whoa what
Speaker 1: a person that's not a human? I just look at
Speaker 1: a Miller. I love her. See a lot of these girls.
Speaker 1: I think guys say that they like them the most
Speaker 1: because they're not model tens. There they are there tens,
Speaker 1: I guess you would say, but there because they think
Speaker 1: they can find y. I said this on Lady Again yesterday.
Speaker 1: I was like, you lose followers as a woman. I
Speaker 1: have follow mail followers on Instagram, and if I post
Speaker 1: a picture with a guy that might be like he's
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, I lose followers. And because these guys think
Speaker 1: I have less of a chance of sucking her, even
Speaker 1: though there was never a chance. And I'm not a
Speaker 1: girl who puts up a kiny photos, so it's like
Speaker 1: I'm not leading with like you could maybe fuck me someday.
Speaker 1: But maybe I am because I'm more like approachable or something.
Speaker 1: But it's just wild to me. Um no, what about
Speaker 1: you who's um very easy? Uh? Tom? And I'm hardy
Speaker 1: and in dressed Elba, those are like yes, or I
Speaker 1: like you dress Alba And he got his start late.
Speaker 1: I like a nice late start of a hot man,
Speaker 1: because you're certainly, yeah, I'm starting I got boots nats. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you did. Certainly you didn't just stand up
Speaker 1: comming till to thirty. That's the late start. Yeah. But
Speaker 1: you're making it. You're making it look good. And I
Speaker 1: had this hair thing at one point in my twenties
Speaker 1: where it was just this part. You know, the guys
Speaker 1: that just have just the chin hair, um just right here.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's called, Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: the difference chin strap is all the way connected. I
Speaker 1: don't know what they called whatever this little patch was.
Speaker 1: That was a phase. Okay, So I'm looking at hottest
Speaker 1: male celebrities like on Google. That's what I'm just like,
Speaker 1: height of the average hottest. What do you think? It's probably? Well?
Speaker 1: These short um wait, who are? Can you say? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I honestly like, dude, I don't even think about Margot
Speaker 1: Robbie and I don't think about it either, So you
Speaker 1: just gotta come out with Margot Robbie, very very hot,
Speaker 1: very talented sex she I just watched Tanya for the
Speaker 1: first time. It's good. Noah, I think you would like it.
Speaker 1: It's like on I think it's on Hulu, but it's
Speaker 1: she's so good in it. I feel so bad for
Speaker 1: Tanya Harding. I started following her on Instagram just to
Speaker 1: like support this poor woman that like skating is just
Speaker 1: such an elitist like white sport that's just for rich kids.
Speaker 1: It's just grosses me out. And that poor girl like
Speaker 1: just really struggled. She had such an abusive mom, abusive boyfriend,
Speaker 1: like just and who like they they if you don't
Speaker 1: know Nancy Kerrigan got whacked by her was a setup
Speaker 1: by her boyfriend and his friend, and she didn't know
Speaker 1: that it was gonna be that they were gonna send
Speaker 1: Nancy Kerrigan a like a death threat because Tanya had
Speaker 1: gotten a death threat and her boyfriend saw how much
Speaker 1: it threw ton on the ice to get a death
Speaker 1: threat just from some rando, you know, the kind like
Speaker 1: I have gotten in my life that throw you. So
Speaker 1: they were just going to do a death threat and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, one of these goons takes
Speaker 1: it upon himself to go, no, we're gonna go We're
Speaker 1: gonna hit her with a crowbar and the knee. It's
Speaker 1: like and Antanya didn't even know it was related to
Speaker 1: them or anything. I mean, it was one of the
Speaker 1: dumbest criminal movie Reynolds seen him millions of times. Ryan Reynolds,
Speaker 1: Blake Lively gorgeous worked out next to both of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you did. When I was a dog walker, I got
Speaker 1: access to the just smiling at each other and like
Speaker 1: laughing the whole time. Their relationships seems so healthy. They
Speaker 1: had a trainer, the red carpet. They seemed very like
Speaker 1: professional in whatever they do. Like everything seems orchestrated. I
Speaker 1: just saw a picture of nice but like also like
Speaker 1: they're the most famous couple ever, so they're very carpet
Speaker 1: like gazing at each other with bringing each other's ear.
Speaker 1: It's like it's all performative, y'all. Like there, don't compare
Speaker 1: your relationship to them. You would be doing the same
Speaker 1: thing if you had publicist saying like, you guys need
Speaker 1: to look like a healthy marriage. I'm not saying they
Speaker 1: don't have a healthy marriage. It's all fake though. Well,
Speaker 1: and they're looking at me weird because they probably see
Speaker 1: me as the dog walker who's in the million million
Speaker 1: dollars he's using of access to the gym. Well, you're
Speaker 1: practicing walking. Yeah, it was on the treadmill. Yeah, doing
Speaker 1: squats to pick up dogship practice your style. Eventually they
Speaker 1: took the card back from me. Uh, the owners, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were like, no, have Carblange. And then they're like,
Speaker 1: I think Ryan Reynolds hates you. Um, yeah, he's gorgeous,
Speaker 1: but I just thought this picture gorgeous. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: read too much about him, not the nice stuff that
Speaker 1: I'm just like, none of almost walked his dog. Remember
Speaker 1: I had the interview with his assistant. Yeah, like an
Speaker 1: hour long interview, and they told me that Yeah, where
Speaker 1: were the what were they ask you? It was in
Speaker 1: a secret room about forty ft underground one of the subway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the dog was there wearing glasses going what do you
Speaker 1: what do you see in my ship? I don't know, man, yeah, doc, no,
Speaker 1: no there. I met with the assistant, who was very
Speaker 1: professional about this, like, you know, I get it, like
Speaker 1: you can't have random dudes in Jake Jillen Hall's house
Speaker 1: and she probably saw that I'd probably smell his underwear
Speaker 1: or something that you're a comedian and like, oh, you
Speaker 1: might talk about this or something, which I'm doing. So
Speaker 1: they told me the one thing that was the funniest
Speaker 1: part of the interview is she said that, uh, Jake's
Speaker 1: dog likes to um walk around Soho and loves the
Speaker 1: shops for three hours. And I go, I don't, I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is you know, I've never gone
Speaker 1: in product. I'm not gonna it's waiting for that dog
Speaker 1: because they know that its owner is has a lot
Speaker 1: of money to spend a good celebrity. So they're like,
Speaker 1: we love this dog. And then the dog learns to
Speaker 1: love going in shops. And it was one of those
Speaker 1: dogs that it was a German shepherd where they're like, also,
Speaker 1: he might bite you if you don't. Yeah, bulberry blueberry whatever,
Speaker 1: what's that one? Bulberry barberry blueberry blueberry. I mean, the
Speaker 1: dogs seemed cool. It would have been a cool thing
Speaker 1: for a week, and then I would be like over it.
Speaker 1: I would suck. I guarantee you would suck. Also, I
Speaker 1: would never meet him. Like in your mind, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's gonna take me in. We're gonna have fucking he's
Speaker 1: going to see together that I am, and he's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, you would be great in my new movie.
Speaker 1: I'm like, stop, Jake, I can I'm just your dog walker.
Speaker 1: Honestly though, That's what happened with you walking my dogs
Speaker 1: pretty much pretty much. You got spot, you got like,
Speaker 1: you know, discovered. Yeah, I got discovered like a like
Speaker 1: a young model and a mall by walking a dog
Speaker 1: with no legs. Um. Yes, I was going to say
Speaker 1: karma though for me walking that dog with wheels, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's why. Well, it's not like you were
Speaker 1: doing it out the goodness of your heart. You were
Speaker 1: getting paid. No, that was a free he wasn't have
Speaker 1: you ever volunteered, never was gonna say just to take
Speaker 1: up your bags. That weighs on a man, it does. Sorry.
Speaker 1: I saw this paparazzi photo of Justin timber Lake and
Speaker 1: Jessica Biel keeps saying actors that lived in this building.
Speaker 1: It's so weird. It is weird, but everyone lives in
Speaker 1: that building. The most famous the Weekend Hamilton's your Boys.
Speaker 1: Yeahs anyway, sorry and so and so. There was very
Speaker 1: gratis of them in like a vacation and they're like
Speaker 1: gazing at each other and like he has his arms
Speaker 1: around her and they do not know they're being photographed,
Speaker 1: and they're like kissing and I just like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. I just don't think people who
Speaker 1: are married like have that kind of love for each other.
Speaker 1: I just I just I'm shocked to see it when
Speaker 1: I'm like, these two look like they just met, Like
Speaker 1: I just think that that goes away. There's there's maybe
Speaker 1: because they're on vacation, like his hands are on her butt,
Speaker 1: maybe he's a little drunk. Like I just feel like
Speaker 1: that kind of affection recently. Yeah, and I'm like they've
Speaker 1: been married so long, they have kids together, Like I
Speaker 1: just just call me jaded, call me like, I'm sure
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like a lot of jed. I just feel
Speaker 1: like when you get married to someone and after you've
Speaker 1: been with them a long time, it takes like a
Speaker 1: setting like that and to make you like lovey dovey
Speaker 1: Hawaii or something. You know, what makes you think they
Speaker 1: didn't because the photo is so grainy, it's like barely
Speaker 1: you can barely make them out, and they might have
Speaker 1: been doing it for the people around them or they
Speaker 1: actually I just realized looking at the photo, like, what's
Speaker 1: wrong with me that I think? Like, I'm shocked to
Speaker 1: see a couple that's been together over ten years looking
Speaker 1: happy together or just like like being horned up for
Speaker 1: each other, almost like they it's a photo that you'd go, oh,
Speaker 1: he's cheating on her with this girl. Whoever this is
Speaker 1: because his hands are all over It's just the kind
Speaker 1: of stuff that you only see the beginning of a relationship.
Speaker 1: Is that me? I'm not wrong though, I feel like
Speaker 1: that doesn't that. I know that there are couples that
Speaker 1: are all over each other, but it's rare and it
Speaker 1: always has to be like a vacation that brings it
Speaker 1: out of you. Alcohol and anniversary, both of you being
Speaker 1: extremely horny, like it's not normal. Tory's display affection for
Speaker 1: each other. Um, my dad tries to get it and
Speaker 1: my mom goes, get off of me. J come on.
Speaker 1: My mom does not like pawing or any kissing. No,
Speaker 1: no making out. She will not make out with my dad.
Speaker 1: I told my mom, your parents got divorced in it's
Speaker 1: thirteen years of not kissing. Well, my parents barely. My
Speaker 1: mom's always just like God, can't be honest. I saw
Speaker 1: my dad kiss my step mom. I'm I'm good. I'm
Speaker 1: glad you never kissed my mom. Yeah, like tongue. My
Speaker 1: dad has a very wet, sa RF gross. Where were
Speaker 1: they drunk? Maybe when I was getting my license? I
Speaker 1: forget exactly where. Yeah, they were at the DMV behind
Speaker 1: the counter. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah it was hardly
Speaker 1: hard kissing. It's a lot. And then yeah, actually yeah.
Speaker 1: I talked to my dad and he was like or
Speaker 1: like my mom was like I think it was on
Speaker 1: some show I did or something. I forget why I
Speaker 1: was asking my mom this, but I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it was when we were doing interviews for the reality show.
Speaker 1: And I was like, um, do you and dad ever
Speaker 1: make out? And she was just like Noah, god, god, no,
Speaker 1: your dad always wants to. I don't like tongue kissing
Speaker 1: scross No. And I go, but does he want to?
Speaker 1: And she's like yes, and I go, sometimes you gotta
Speaker 1: do what the other person wants. And I talked to
Speaker 1: her later and I said, Mom, honestly, if you don't
Speaker 1: tongue kiss Dad, I would not blame him for going
Speaker 1: to find someone else to tongue kiss, because that is
Speaker 1: something that is important. Like, and I even told my
Speaker 1: dad later on. I was like, I told mom that
Speaker 1: if you don't start tongue kissing Dad, and like just
Speaker 1: being just like kissing him, being a being that agent
Speaker 1: over there. I just sad that my dad wants to
Speaker 1: have affection with my mom. And she's like, oh, that's gross.
Speaker 1: It's like you give I don't. I don't give oral
Speaker 1: sex to people because I like it as much as
Speaker 1: it's because I like it because it gives pleasure to
Speaker 1: someone else. Like what's wrong with my mom that she
Speaker 1: can't get pleasure out of giving something to someone that
Speaker 1: would make them happy. It probably goes right to her parents.
Speaker 1: I'm sure her parents. She's never seen once. The older
Speaker 1: generation didn't make out hard and pub like or p
Speaker 1: d A. I mean, I don't make out ever. Like
Speaker 1: do you ever just make out with Brenna and it
Speaker 1: doesn't lead to sex? You just make out and that's
Speaker 1: it all you do? Really? I mean we have We
Speaker 1: were very like like we were. I worked out with
Speaker 1: her yesterday she was wed. I like grabbed her I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just wanted to grab her butt and like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm just like really in there, yes,
Speaker 1: so yeah, I could see. So you just make out
Speaker 1: for like an hour or like fifteen minutes and it
Speaker 1: does not lead to sex. Yeah, we did that. We
Speaker 1: don't do it a ton, but it's happened. What's the
Speaker 1: circumstance where that was just in bed and neither We're
Speaker 1: both lazy enough to not want to have sex, but
Speaker 1: not lazy enough to want to be close to each
Speaker 1: other when you just make out like just killing of God,
Speaker 1: I've never done that. I have never once made out
Speaker 1: without it leading to sex. No, uh, well, it depends
Speaker 1: on the relationship, but my current one it always leads
Speaker 1: to sex. But I do for just making out purposes.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I get the giggles when we make out and like,
Speaker 1: and I know that's not sexy to get the giggles,
Speaker 1: but making it's funny to me sometimes, like whatever she's
Speaker 1: doing with her tongue, like if she goes like too hard,
Speaker 1: or like it's funny. It's a funny thing. Like our
Speaker 1: tongues are ridiculous. I just think it's so weird that
Speaker 1: people are like, oh my god, don't drink out of
Speaker 1: my drink and then they're like, yeah, it's like I
Speaker 1: just I think people are such hypocrites when it comes
Speaker 1: to germs, and they'll like sunk each other's face and
Speaker 1: have lick on each other's tongues. But they're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, please don't eat off my plate. Gross you
Speaker 1: touched it. Um, yeah, I think that's There are times
Speaker 1: I will say there are times almost every single time
Speaker 1: we do the thing of I've done a thing of No,
Speaker 1: we just want to like nothing's happening. We're just like cuddling,
Speaker 1: like we're both too tired. It's never once stopped there,
Speaker 1: never once. And sometimes I go, you're too tired. I'm
Speaker 1: not letting you do this because I know that you
Speaker 1: are about to get into a hard cardio workout. Whereas
Speaker 1: I do nothing, it's easy for me. I don't do anything.
Speaker 1: I never do anything. I mean I do stop like, don't.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest with ourselves. Everyone is satisfied. But um,
Speaker 1: I'm sometimes like, no, you're too tired. You need a break,
Speaker 1: And when's the last time you got on top? Are
Speaker 1: we talking in ten years? The way you're looking, I stop,
Speaker 1: I'm not lying years. I just don't do it up there, Nick, No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to. It's just there's no girl. No.
Speaker 1: If I needed to, I would, but he doesn't want that.
Speaker 1: And I'm not speaking for him, but I'm just saying
Speaker 1: I have I can sense what we are What if
Speaker 1: he wanted you to get Yeah, I'm just it's not
Speaker 1: required of me. Like and when I having sex, I
Speaker 1: like to be submissive and a girl on top being
Speaker 1: in control riding someone, I'm I want to be the horse.
Speaker 1: I'm not the cowgirl. What if you're just up there
Speaker 1: and he can still No, you're in control. It's a
Speaker 1: dominance thing. Anyone who's elevated over someone is usually the
Speaker 1: dominance on top. But now what am I? Where am
Speaker 1: I going to use to Yeah, you're just submissive, but
Speaker 1: while being on I bet there's ways to be submissive
Speaker 1: while above someone. I've been. I'm on top in terms
Speaker 1: of like, sometimes other things happen and I'm like I
Speaker 1: am I'm an active participant in doing things. But if
Speaker 1: there's generally I would never just I don't like riding someone.
Speaker 1: I just don't like it. It doesn't feel good to me.
Speaker 1: And it's just like it causes too much presure in
Speaker 1: order for me to not just like sit and just
Speaker 1: like squish where like to go up and down, you
Speaker 1: need to do so much legwork. It's really exhausting. I
Speaker 1: don't like it. I don't like it. I like I like,
Speaker 1: you're just like that, and I respect. I know for
Speaker 1: a fact that the person I engage in this way
Speaker 1: is not yearning for something else. Like we're both very satisfied.
Speaker 1: I like, there's no there's nothing that we are missing
Speaker 1: out on or not doing because I'm lazy or something.
Speaker 1: It has nothing to say that. It's born of the
Speaker 1: fact that like the dynamic of you know, when you
Speaker 1: know your partner, you know what gets them off? Do
Speaker 1: you go to your strong suit. There's no need to
Speaker 1: a different relationship. I would explore other things, but for
Speaker 1: what we both like, like, it's just are it's us. Uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it works. All right, Let's go to the news barely
Speaker 1: you're having all the swells out there. That's fantastic. It's Wednesday.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. It is Wednesday. It's hump day, folks.
Speaker 1: Get out there and hump um. All right, you know,
Speaker 1: I think takeaway to all right, Well, this weekend you're
Speaker 1: going to be at the Kirby Center for Performing Arts
Speaker 1: in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. On Friday, Saturday you'll be at
Speaker 1: the Keswick Theater in Glenside, Pennsylvania. And on Sunday you'll
Speaker 1: be at the Welmont Theater in Montclair, New Jersey, Sunday, Yes,
Speaker 1: weekend long. Yeah, my life never stops. And it's so funny.
Speaker 1: The woman I'm writing a book with, or who's helping
Speaker 1: me write a book, is like, hey, checking in, do
Speaker 1: you want to write this book again? And I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: you know, my presence is dying down, I can start
Speaker 1: it again. And I go, why don't I ever get
Speaker 1: a week where there's nothing. Why does a week where
Speaker 1: I have nothing finally have to get filled in by
Speaker 1: something like it? No, it does because there's because there's
Speaker 1: always something in line waiting and on the queue, and
Speaker 1: it has to get filled in because I've put it
Speaker 1: off so long, so like, but there's no people don't
Speaker 1: even there's no even no, there's no one is looking
Speaker 1: out for me except me, And I have to remember
Speaker 1: that that I have to like make time for myself
Speaker 1: because otherwise I'll get time will get taken from me
Speaker 1: because it's no one's gonna be like, hey, I think
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna let you have this break. The only
Speaker 1: way to learn that is to take a break and
Speaker 1: realize that the yes, the world's gonna keep going. Yes,
Speaker 1: you might miss out on maybe another fifty reaches or whatever.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna realize you'll be fine if you take
Speaker 1: a week off. But that the only way to learn
Speaker 1: that is by going to Hawaii and cuddling in the world.
Speaker 1: I need to get stuff done, though, I have deadlines
Speaker 1: and so that that I've put off because of other stuff,
Speaker 1: and it just always I just looked at my schedule
Speaker 1: today and I just go how funny that I'm like,
Speaker 1: next week is my first week where I don't have
Speaker 1: eight podcasts today promoting this show. And there's no part
Speaker 1: of me that goes, oh, I might just like fucking
Speaker 1: do nothing. It's like I have to is the next thing.
Speaker 1: And I know it's all my own fault, but it's
Speaker 1: like it just never ends. I just don't see any
Speaker 1: end in sight, and it's us really exhausting to your
Speaker 1: mom a better house, so it's all worth it in
Speaker 1: the end. It seems exhausting too, just like looking at
Speaker 1: the houses and signs, and well that segues into my
Speaker 1: first story really well because scientists scientists say that they
Speaker 1: have nailed down the ideal amount of sleep um. The
Speaker 1: new research found that around seven hours of sleep is
Speaker 1: the ideal night's rest, with insufficient or excessive sleep being
Speaker 1: associated with a reduced ability to pay attention, remember and
Speaker 1: learn new things, solve problems, and make decisions with too
Speaker 1: much sleep or not enough. Too much or not enough
Speaker 1: sleep both caused those things. That seven hours straight, it
Speaker 1: has to be straight. Uh, I've never I don't know
Speaker 1: last time I got that. How long are your breaks?
Speaker 1: I'm usually I'm a three hour man? And then how
Speaker 1: long is the break on your phone? A lot of
Speaker 1: times go I'll go over the tou old well andrew.
Speaker 1: Other research found that older adults who have significant difficulty
Speaker 1: falling asleep and who experienced frequent night awakenings are at
Speaker 1: high risk for developing dementia or dying early from any cause.
Speaker 1: It's funny about this, Noah psycho. Yeah, funny you should
Speaker 1: say that you're gonna die. I've never seen Noah laugh, Desard.
Speaker 1: My dad looks like Anthony Bordain is not the only
Speaker 1: one buried in that outfit. No, he's gone, you guys,
Speaker 1: he's gone sleeping. Fear to six is what is that?
Speaker 1: Eleven six? Are you gonna getting? Are you know you're
Speaker 1: not getting that? I just recently I wasn't, but oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I get I get that on on the reg Like
Speaker 1: last night, I went to bed probably at one, and
Speaker 1: I woke up today at nine, so I got eight ninety,
Speaker 1: so I got eight forty. How are you feeling? I
Speaker 1: wanted to sleep so much more it wasn't enough. I'm
Speaker 1: so tired still, Like I'm back on this well, I'm
Speaker 1: back in this phase of like there was a while
Speaker 1: there that I was just never tired because I was
Speaker 1: so tired. And now I'm like my general stasis is
Speaker 1: never wanting to get up ever, just wanting to keep
Speaker 1: sleeping forever. I never wake up being like time to
Speaker 1: start the day. It is always like even though I
Speaker 1: used to be like an hours, seven hours, eleven hours,
Speaker 1: still want more, more and more and more. I've been
Speaker 1: getting that easier lately. Yeah, I think the post COVID world,
Speaker 1: I have a second lease on life. You were always
Speaker 1: getting for the past. Like even when we were in
Speaker 1: Cambo for Perfect Strangers to you were up every morning
Speaker 1: at like seven. So is that the he though, should
Speaker 1: you set an alarm for seven hours? Like? Probably? Yeah,
Speaker 1: based on what were kids we wake up before. We
Speaker 1: wanted to wake up so much, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Every single day for school. Yeah, it's like, but isn't
Speaker 1: that period for work? I guess so, yeah, we're lucky
Speaker 1: in that obviously in that, but we actually we start
Speaker 1: working at eleven, but for some reason it is still
Speaker 1: feels early to like before ten feels so yeah, we're
Speaker 1: going to bed at fucking You know a lot of
Speaker 1: people make fun of a guy that wakes up it
Speaker 1: for a like the Mark Wahlberg's But you're going to
Speaker 1: bed five PM? Yes, I don't know how people do that,
Speaker 1: Like people go to late dinners, people go like if
Speaker 1: there's there's good things on TV late, Like I just
Speaker 1: my day doesn't stop until six, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to bed in three hours. I want to
Speaker 1: go to bed and I want to day after that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you see these TikTok's. It's like I wake up, I
Speaker 1: put fucking fresh water and I'm a camel's dick on
Speaker 1: my face. Then I fucking scrub my skin for an
Speaker 1: hour and a half. Then I read the newspaper, then
Speaker 1: I carve a cantaloupe. Then I fucking work out for
Speaker 1: two hours and it's still fuckingm and it's like, fuck you.
Speaker 1: But one of those people to get a bunch done
Speaker 1: in the morning work out you do, like a meditation.
Speaker 1: I gotta get back in the meditating. But the whim
Speaker 1: Hoff method, I'm like looking into that breathing cold breathing, yeah,
Speaker 1: cold owers, breathing things. But I just it's such a
Speaker 1: daunting um world to get into that. It seems like
Speaker 1: I just there's too much research. There's all these different methods,
Speaker 1: and I just feel like I don't want to do
Speaker 1: any of it. It's like when I go to look
Speaker 1: for a new book to buy, there's too many books,
Speaker 1: and do I choose nothing. I just want to know
Speaker 1: what breathing thing to do. The colchower too. If I
Speaker 1: was living in Florida, it makes sense to me, but
Speaker 1: I can't go. It's you're overheated, go take a coulch that.
Speaker 1: I know that, I know that, but I'm just uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: When I lived in Brooklyn and there was like like
Speaker 1: there's no heat in the bathroom, so it's like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm getting the cold. I don't have to go cold cold.
Speaker 1: Now it's different, I know, but I'm just saying it's harder.
Speaker 1: Like cold cold is hard, like you're taking a hot
Speaker 1: shower to finally get away from cold, So now I
Speaker 1: need more cold. My bedroom is sixty degrees every single
Speaker 1: I'm it's the best. Yeah, well, I mean sleeping cold
Speaker 1: is the best way to do it because that's what
Speaker 1: we used to do. What animals are human animals are
Speaker 1: meant to be, like sleeping in caves. Yeah, it's good
Speaker 1: for your body being. I just don't understand people who
Speaker 1: can sleep with in flannel pajamas. Like, I've never felt
Speaker 1: more disconnected from human beings than people who sleep hot.
Speaker 1: I can't sleep with well, I sit with a T
Speaker 1: shirt on, but other than that, naked. You don't want that,
Speaker 1: like Plato body touching you. Honestly, there's a thing where
Speaker 1: I feel like I hate like my wet I don't
Speaker 1: feel like feeling in my hips. It's too wet down there,
Speaker 1: and I need underwear to like absorb sweat, just leak
Speaker 1: it Like I hate being underwarless and bad. Hate it
Speaker 1: like a running car that just has that like weird
Speaker 1: leakage in the back down there, and you go, I
Speaker 1: don't know what that is? Is that water? Is that
Speaker 1: wiper fluid? Is my car horny? Um? Yeah? I just
Speaker 1: I can't understand. And you've got a lot of like
Speaker 1: stuff down there, just like flopping around. Don't you want
Speaker 1: to keep it tucked? Don't you want to keep it
Speaker 1: tight when you're rolling around in bed? I mean, there's
Speaker 1: definitely a reason why I think Brennan like the clean
Speaker 1: to sheets. More penis is leaking and just like weeping
Speaker 1: all over the sheets like Cadillac. My dick is like
Speaker 1: it just leaks, boy, And I'm sure it's my thyroid
Speaker 1: or something. I don't know. Someone wrote me something about
Speaker 1: my leaky cock. You have a leaky cock? No, I don't.
Speaker 1: Is it pussy? No? No, No, I just mean I
Speaker 1: think the older you get, the more you gotta pat
Speaker 1: your penis after you pee. Know what do you wear
Speaker 1: underwear when you sleep? My favorite way to sleep is
Speaker 1: totally naked, but with a bunch of blankets on me.
Speaker 1: But don't you feel like your vagina gets like like
Speaker 1: just there's just like, you know, more moisture down there,
Speaker 1: and like I just hate getting it all my sheets
Speaker 1: and I have to clean my sheets. That's basically what
Speaker 1: I'm preventing. Um, it does happen, but it doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: And then your sheets are your underwear. If you're not
Speaker 1: wearing underwear. Whatever you're on becomes your underwear, and you
Speaker 1: would never wear your underwear two days in a row
Speaker 1: unless you're Andrew Colin, but like, no one would ever. Hey,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of clean clothes. Now, That's why
Speaker 1: I don't understand gene get When girls wear no underwear,
Speaker 1: how do you can wear those two days? Your jeans
Speaker 1: are your pussy then, like, because if it's in my
Speaker 1: own like it, if it's in my underwear, that means
Speaker 1: that at no point during the day didn't have time
Speaker 1: to breathe. You need to air it out, and sleeping
Speaker 1: at night it's time to air the baby out. But
Speaker 1: it's not being aired out because it's like under a
Speaker 1: bunch of heavy blankets. My mind, it does make sense
Speaker 1: in your mind. Do your vagina is always engulf I
Speaker 1: never air out my like, there's no time where I'm
Speaker 1: spread eagle. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The only way
Speaker 1: to air out of vagina is so you really got
Speaker 1: to air it out. You can't. It's always stuck in
Speaker 1: there your vagina. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, I mean balls
Speaker 1: you have to air out because you like it doesn't
Speaker 1: mildew it does, I guess it does. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: people get easy, just picturing people from e like this
Speaker 1: is the first. Oh my god, sorry, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Why do I care? Why do I care? Okay? Ireland
Speaker 1: Baldwin says an ex wanted to fuck her mom Kim Basinger.
Speaker 1: The revelation part of a TikTok trend in which people
Speaker 1: respond to the question what is the one thing your
Speaker 1: X said to you that you will never forget? Um,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a good one. I could see that.
Speaker 1: But why would they say that to her? Uh? To
Speaker 1: hurt her? Yeah, to make her feel less? You're right, yes,
Speaker 1: she said that. Yeah. Yeah. The full comment was You'll
Speaker 1: never be as beautiful as your mom. I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to suck her and I'm just not really attracted to
Speaker 1: you like that. Oh my god? Why would you be
Speaker 1: your boyfriend? Then? Mean, people are the worst. What's the
Speaker 1: worst thing that a person's ever said to you that
Speaker 1: you're dating? I don't that I'm crazy, nothing that I
Speaker 1: can really remember that you're crazy? Being called crazy is
Speaker 1: like the worst that they want to suck my hot
Speaker 1: dad and make out. It's so funny to think of of,
Speaker 1: Like because Kim Baije's like when the hot doest people
Speaker 1: have so obviously the country wanting to suck her, You're
Speaker 1: the odds are someone's gonna want to suck your mom
Speaker 1: if you're dating a guy, yeah, if you're but if
Speaker 1: it's specific to someone that's just a doctor, just your
Speaker 1: mom who chopped a good will, that feels a little
Speaker 1: bit more hurtful. When people think my mom is beautiful,
Speaker 1: I'm always like yes, because that shows that they are
Speaker 1: like into older women and I'm going to age and
Speaker 1: they'll like me still then, you know, and so I
Speaker 1: like it. You know, bet are generally that I've dated,
Speaker 1: have have you know, said the opposite, which I know
Speaker 1: is to be true, is that my sister is prettier
Speaker 1: than me. They're always like, I'm more into you. It's like,
Speaker 1: and thank God for it, because most people are into
Speaker 1: my sister more than me. Like you're different looking than
Speaker 1: your sister. I know. So there are guys that are
Speaker 1: more into like blondes, like just like you know, raspy blondes,
Speaker 1: and like you know, um, your sister Jennifer Connelly and
Speaker 1: you're Margot Robbie. Well okay, thank you. I'm saying like
Speaker 1: in the guy's mind of like yes, like the different coloring. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: my sisters like milky skin. I have like orange spray
Speaker 1: tan speckled skin. Um. Like my older brother he would
Speaker 1: do so much better with women than me because he
Speaker 1: had confidence, and he he has a good he has
Speaker 1: better teeth than he has all his teeth, and he's rich,
Speaker 1: but like he's very he's so he's so good with
Speaker 1: women to the point where and I would be the
Speaker 1: better looking brother, but it wouldn't even be close when
Speaker 1: there was a group of girls, like when we were
Speaker 1: in Europe or whatever. Like confidence is every like is
Speaker 1: everything with men. I'm just in the corner like a
Speaker 1: lot of men like feel like, oh I'm not attractive,
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? And it's like confident confidence,
Speaker 1: But where does it come from? It's gotta be real.
Speaker 1: Actually doesn't even have to be really. You can figure
Speaker 1: out how to just fake it. You just you just
Speaker 1: do things that are egregiously awful, and then you practice
Speaker 1: being confident about them. And so when people go why
Speaker 1: are you wearing that? You go because I like it,
Speaker 1: And then everyone just goes, oh, I guess he's confident.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's why stand up committy and get laid
Speaker 1: so much. It's like fake confidence when really they're deeply insecure.
Speaker 1: But it's like comes off when people are like, Nikki,
Speaker 1: you're so confident. I'm always just like that doesn't resonate
Speaker 1: with me at all. It's so bizarre. The worst thing
Speaker 1: a guy ever said to me, though, But you will
Speaker 1: ever love you, just as a joke goes, oh, no
Speaker 1: one's ever going to love you. And I started sobbing,
Speaker 1: like like a downpour like that you know where you go.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's no sign of rain and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden boom, and he was saying and he
Speaker 1: freaked out because he was like, wait, what's going on?
Speaker 1: I was just joking, and I was like, that was
Speaker 1: the meanest thing, like because it just confirmed what I
Speaker 1: like thought and ready to go for years, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. All it took was one little It's
Speaker 1: like a damn that breaks, yes, but the water has
Speaker 1: been on it the whole time and you have no idea.
Speaker 1: It's like birds chirping, like peaceful, serene, like just like
Speaker 1: a gentle stream. And then I've had those moments where
Speaker 1: it's just like something just brings it on out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: I've been holding it. But he was only saying it
Speaker 1: because he was trying to hurt me, because he he
Speaker 1: was saying it jokingly to protect him, to be like,
Speaker 1: I was just joking, But he was saying it not
Speaker 1: because he meant it, but because he knew that we
Speaker 1: he could never have me and he's not good enough
Speaker 1: for me, and he had to say it so that
Speaker 1: it could protect him. I know that it's very transparent,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean he could love my mom though,
Speaker 1: and he thinks that she's very lovable. Let's get to
Speaker 1: our Wednesday segment. We usually do a game called Finish
Speaker 1: My Sentence, in which Andrew and I try to complete
Speaker 1: each other's sentences to try to guess how we would
Speaker 1: answer it. Today we are doing um a uh, we're
Speaker 1: doing Finish my Sentence, but it's now going to be finished.
Speaker 1: My Uber eats order. Uber Eats, of course, is an
Speaker 1: app that I use all the freaking time on the
Speaker 1: road and at home to get anything like not literally anything,
Speaker 1: but you can get grocery items, um, and you can
Speaker 1: get convenience store items like anything that you need that
Speaker 1: you go, oh my god, we're out of dog food.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We're out of toothpaste. Boom. Uber Eats
Speaker 1: you can pull up and you can see that they're
Speaker 1: not just restaurants anymore, which is what a lot of
Speaker 1: people think about Uber Eats. So Andrew and I placed
Speaker 1: Uber eats orders this morning and got in like ten minutes,
Speaker 1: yes immediately, So they're here, and we tried to order
Speaker 1: what he just has everything hoarded. It was so fast
Speaker 1: and it's all a bunch of stuff that like, you
Speaker 1: just don't think you could get that fast. I ordered
Speaker 1: grocery items for Andrew, Andrew ordered convenience store items for me.
Speaker 1: So we're going to finish each other's Uber eats order.
Speaker 1: And as always, um, you can use the uber eats
Speaker 1: app as well, um today today even yeah right now,
Speaker 1: you gonna get anything you want, anything that you're thinking
Speaker 1: listen again, yeah stop it right now. Well Uber eats downloaded.
Speaker 1: At least download the app so that when you want it,
Speaker 1: it's ready to go, because I hate when I like
Speaker 1: have to download a new app and then you have
Speaker 1: to wait for to connect to WiFi and that little
Speaker 1: thing is yes, it's just a big thing. Download it
Speaker 1: so that when it's so nice to pull up the app,
Speaker 1: when someone's like, I need this thing, and you go
Speaker 1: ordered it already, like and they go, wait what and
Speaker 1: they're still like searching for like how to get it
Speaker 1: and where the nearest Walgreens is or wherever, and you're
Speaker 1: just like, it's gonna be here that the other day. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Times people do that. Okay, So who's going to go first? Um?
Speaker 1: I will go first. Okay. So this is what I
Speaker 1: would get at it at a grocery store. I got
Speaker 1: you something that you put in an oven that is
Speaker 1: made from cauliflower, because you you think that anything cauliflower
Speaker 1: is as healthy. Yes, because you're a boy who doesn't
Speaker 1: probably nutrition facts with mayonnaise. Yes, it's very healthy. I
Speaker 1: also got you something that is also you cook you
Speaker 1: can put in an oven, but most likely a microwave
Speaker 1: that has the word cauliflower in it. Again, that is
Speaker 1: probably not that healthy, but because as cauliflower in it,
Speaker 1: you'll go, oh, it must be like a diet food.
Speaker 1: My mouth is my dad's mouth right now, I'm water.
Speaker 1: I got you, Oh these things that I love so
Speaker 1: much that are a dessert that have protein in them
Speaker 1: and also are creamy and chocolate e and are like
Speaker 1: a frozen dessert that are a hundred calories each because
Speaker 1: again protein cream. Yes you don't know if it's ice cream,
Speaker 1: but yes, it is an ice cream creaming as protein
Speaker 1: in it. And it also Um, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: a hundred calories per which you'll eat the entire box
Speaker 1: in one sitting. I know that because I'm the same way.
Speaker 1: It convinces yourself that you're being healthy. Um, I got
Speaker 1: you something for mango. Um, yes, I got you some
Speaker 1: little tree some cauliflower treats for mango. Now, I got
Speaker 1: you some candy that is low and sugar that I love. Like,
Speaker 1: I got you all like diety things, like not diety things,
Speaker 1: but like healthy things, not diety with fake stuff in it.
Speaker 1: I did get you. This is funny because is um,
Speaker 1: whenever when when you guys were living together, you were
Speaker 1: always concerned that Andrew doesn't have enough snacks or food.
Speaker 1: So I feel like this is you never does fulfilling
Speaker 1: that from the past. It is these are all things
Speaker 1: that I would have bought him when I know that
Speaker 1: he has no food at home, and he'll he'll come
Speaker 1: out of his room really leary eyed and be like,
Speaker 1: do you want to get tie food? And I'll go
Speaker 1: and they closed it eight there's nothing they get. And
Speaker 1: then he'll just start looking in the cabinets and he'll
Speaker 1: pick out all is in there is like old food
Speaker 1: from our green rooms that I've kept over the days,
Speaker 1: and then he just um. Then he'll just start eating
Speaker 1: some weird thing that we have on hand, Like one time,
Speaker 1: like our building gave us like a Christmas present of
Speaker 1: like chocolates, So he'll start eating these like bags of
Speaker 1: chocolates that because it's all he has. Do you do
Speaker 1: that a lot at your own home? Does brendan to
Speaker 1: keep you guys pretty stacked? And I like fifteen meals
Speaker 1: ready to go? Okay, Well that makes I've been um okay.
Speaker 1: And then I have this candy that we talked about recently.
Speaker 1: You got way more money than me. I spent fifty.
Speaker 1: Then I got this candy that we talked about recently
Speaker 1: that is probably trains women to be good at giving head.
Speaker 1: Oh you eat it and then there's like there's it's
Speaker 1: a solid and a liquid fuit snet that gushes in
Speaker 1: your mouth. Yes, yes, yes, um. I also got you
Speaker 1: your favorite drink that that one guy drinks that you
Speaker 1: just think it's gonna like your calories. Yeah, of course
Speaker 1: people are addicted to this stuff. It's this energy drink
Speaker 1: that Andrew saw one guy be like, this is why
Speaker 1: I'm jacked. It's not because he spends eighteen because yeah, cauliflower.
Speaker 1: And then I also got you a morning recovery shot
Speaker 1: because you drink now, and could I drink now? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had one drink in three weeks. People who are
Speaker 1: twenty one and older can get alcohol on the movie
Speaker 1: it's up to Yes, I almost got you alcohol, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to encourage that. But I did get
Speaker 1: you a recovery shot from the morning. Um, you'll see,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Actually, no, you take it in the night.
Speaker 1: You take it in the night, and then in the
Speaker 1: morning it makes you feel better, So you take it
Speaker 1: at night with your drinking, and then in the morning
Speaker 1: you're very hydrated and and not just hungover. And I
Speaker 1: probably don't think it works so well. But food is
Speaker 1: you got way more than me. I apologize because I'm
Speaker 1: just good at like looking at prices and making like
Speaker 1: you could have done the same thing. But I bet
Speaker 1: you were just like lazier about it. Okay, thank you
Speaker 1: to make your order. How long did it take you
Speaker 1: to make your order three days? Not true? No one,
Speaker 1: No one knows how long did it take Andrew to
Speaker 1: give you what he was going to get? Boys are
Speaker 1: so funny. They don't look at pieces added stuff to
Speaker 1: the shopping cart. That's what he yes, and he didn't.
Speaker 1: But why didn't you? But you look at the total
Speaker 1: in no, it was clear like not over fifty dollars.
Speaker 1: So why didn't you follow the rules? Because your boys
Speaker 1: a fucking badass that wears boots. You don't give a
Speaker 1: funk that he went four dollars, but he didn't think
Speaker 1: I didn't go to like huh, I didn't go to
Speaker 1: like ninety. I went to fifty seven, all right. I
Speaker 1: thought I would make up the seven dollars and I
Speaker 1: throw it back to the old imant. It's what you
Speaker 1: probably that was a lot of stuff for fifty dollars
Speaker 1: that I got a lot. I didn't mind you. I'm
Speaker 1: way under fifty dollars because one of the things, one
Speaker 1: of my put one of these in the I want
Speaker 1: to put this ice cream in the freezer because I
Speaker 1: don't want it to freeze, Okay. And that's the best
Speaker 1: thing about Uber Eats is that you can get ice
Speaker 1: cream and it is still intact. It doesn't melt. Ice
Speaker 1: cream bars melt. Then they get all like like, what
Speaker 1: would I get? So I went to a convenience store.
Speaker 1: I didn't get to go to grocery convenience to a pharmacy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like items that would you know, populate my bathroom? Yeah,
Speaker 1: or I don't think you have them, but it would
Speaker 1: be nice to have them. I thought. I thought of
Speaker 1: things of like what would you want? A convenient story
Speaker 1: that maybe you'd forget to get, or something that's like needed,
Speaker 1: things that I don't actually want or need, but that
Speaker 1: you think I need. Maybe maybe well maybe you do
Speaker 1: need interested I got you stuff that allow your eyes
Speaker 1: to not be read? Wait, why would it I need that?
Speaker 1: I dropped? Sometimes? Could you wear contacts? Okay? So sometimes
Speaker 1: you might be tired, you're overworked? You just you really
Speaker 1: took it literally? I think you really phone This is why.
Speaker 1: Well I would have if I were you, I would
Speaker 1: have gotten me bunyan pads or something funny like that.
Speaker 1: I would have gotten me word remover. I would have
Speaker 1: gotten me um you know, just like funny funny stuff. Okay,
Speaker 1: but yes, I do like would I used to smoke pot.
Speaker 1: I used to love eye drops. Now I don't struggle
Speaker 1: with that as much, but I appreciate it. Okay, you
Speaker 1: sound appreciate. Yeah, I really am. Okay, I got your bandage,
Speaker 1: yet I just feel unseen bandages. Yes, I do need
Speaker 1: bandages because I'm always picking up my nails. That's a
Speaker 1: good one. Are they a bandaged like small bandages? They're
Speaker 1: good for your nails. Well, these happen to be extra large. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's not for my fingers. Idea being that you
Speaker 1: can put all your fingers in one. Okay. Honestly I
Speaker 1: didn't see the extra large, but that was my thinking.
Speaker 1: Is you pick your nails a lot, maybe you forget, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I need I picked up a band
Speaker 1: aid off the ground in a bathroom the other day
Speaker 1: because I saw that someone had dropped a band aid
Speaker 1: that was unused, and I picked it up and put
Speaker 1: it in my purse because I always need bandages. I'm
Speaker 1: always digging up my nailse who's talking now, it's good,
Speaker 1: it's a good purchase. This one is for your sinuses.
Speaker 1: It's a pot for your sinuses to clear them. I
Speaker 1: think I needed that in my life. You've used it before,
Speaker 1: a nutty pot. Yeah, you have used this at your
Speaker 1: left No is the thing that you put over your
Speaker 1: whole face and it creates like a steamer. And also
Speaker 1: Nettie's kind of fun done a good thing to water
Speaker 1: plants with. It's fucking wild to do it. I know
Speaker 1: it is wild and it looks like a dick. But
Speaker 1: you can't. I'm too lazy to use it because you
Speaker 1: have to boil the water beforehand so you don't get
Speaker 1: a bacteria in your nose that like eats your face,
Speaker 1: you know, like people have died from that. Really well,
Speaker 1: that's well, that's kind of like I think Western medicine
Speaker 1: has tried to scare people from using these Eastern medicine techniques,
Speaker 1: and so they want you to go to the doctor
Speaker 1: and use their meds. So they spread these like propaganda
Speaker 1: of like this woman died from using tap wires. You
Speaker 1: gotta boil it first, and I'm a lazy bitch, But
Speaker 1: that will come in handy. So the idea, granted, I
Speaker 1: only got you three things, that's it. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I got you four. It was not available. What was
Speaker 1: the one thing that wasn't available? It was a menstrual
Speaker 1: heating pad. That would have been nice. And so can
Speaker 1: you take back all the mean things you said that
Speaker 1: you don't feel seen? I mean, come on, well, that's
Speaker 1: the point of this segment is like, can we see
Speaker 1: each other? And I felt unseen? Path No, you like
Speaker 1: thees and then be out of it. But you're you're
Speaker 1: not wrong, but very small heating pad. Maybe I'll have
Speaker 1: from my sleep my idea, my thinking honestly behind this.
Speaker 1: Granted it was quick, Quick doesn't always mean worse. What
Speaker 1: were you doing while you were doing this? Shopping for myself? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: you were you like watching? Were you golfing or you
Speaker 1: on the golf? Of course I was laying down on
Speaker 1: the couch. I was watching Winning Time on HBO, and
Speaker 1: I thought, you know what, I thought? This was my
Speaker 1: thought process. I wasn't thinking funny. I was thinking, what
Speaker 1: are things that like for me? If someone went to
Speaker 1: convenience store for me, the nicest thing ever would be
Speaker 1: things that like I could keep reusing. I would forget
Speaker 1: we're in in the house, kind of like you with
Speaker 1: me with snacks. I forget snacks, You forget bandages the
Speaker 1: same idea. Yes, you're always bleeding from and I'm bleeding
Speaker 1: from my stomach with all the traps. I think we're
Speaker 1: just a thing. That you were just like okay, the
Speaker 1: eye drops was was me thinking? Like said she was tired.
Speaker 1: He's not wrong about that. Your eyes get red from
Speaker 1: from from your contacts. Now, I'm just feeling insulted. You
Speaker 1: bleed from everywhere, lady. Yeah, I got Well, Um, this
Speaker 1: was a success. I am glad I got that. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna probably give you that any part because I just
Speaker 1: don't I does don't think I'm gonna use it, but um,
Speaker 1: I'm going to regift that to you. But I am
Speaker 1: so shocked that we could get all this stuff so quickly,
Speaker 1: within like minutes. And you can too if you use
Speaker 1: the uber eats app today. Go out there, get that
Speaker 1: Uber eats. Final thoughts, um, what are you up to
Speaker 1: today today? I have a workout class. I'm getting a
Speaker 1: facial night diamond glow. What workout class? I have a
Speaker 1: new thing I'm going to what is it? What did
Speaker 1: you call media impulsive? You a new one? What's called
Speaker 1: you just say? Fuck Trump? No? Uh uh? F forty
Speaker 1: five is an Australian workout class. It's it's very cheesy.
Speaker 1: It's very compy calories. I don't really functions functional, that's
Speaker 1: the what the F stands for. So what do you
Speaker 1: do during it? It's it's it does everything for you.
Speaker 1: You're just a computer. You're like, come in here, here's
Speaker 1: fifteen different workouts. They put it on the screen. You
Speaker 1: don't even have to think, and you're done in forty minutes,
Speaker 1: in and out. Yes, it's a little like cult cross
Speaker 1: It's like if cross fit was more relatable. How did
Speaker 1: you find out about it? My little brother does it,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I went with Branna yesterday and she
Speaker 1: did not like it at first. Why because it's hard,
Speaker 1: it's just very like and she just wants to do
Speaker 1: her thing. Oh god, I hate that celebration like you
Speaker 1: could do it for Rachel finds in as a great
Speaker 1: bit about spin classes. Why why do you hate it
Speaker 1: so bad? Because I don't mind it because it's exhausting
Speaker 1: to cheer and be like excited, like I just want
Speaker 1: to suffer alone. I don't want to share, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to act like this is exciting to me. Yes,
Speaker 1: it sucks that you have to match the guy's energy.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just have never seen people in those
Speaker 1: classes who I want to look like they all like
Speaker 1: the they all just look like they're always running up
Speaker 1: at the last second because they're late for the class,
Speaker 1: and then they like leave afterwards, and I know they
Speaker 1: just go and they eat so much, just like Kim Kardashian,
Speaker 1: like there's always if you do too much, there's always
Speaker 1: gonna be the negative, and you'll never blame your workout
Speaker 1: class and like you always blame yourself. You're like, I'm weak,
Speaker 1: But the problem is, these fucking workout classes are just
Speaker 1: not here's the thing with this workouts. I agree with you,
Speaker 1: I'm projecting a lot because I can't handle myself in those. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think you'd want to be around this many people.
Speaker 1: It's very bright in there, Like it's just it's it's cheesy,
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's feel good afterwards, you feel good
Speaker 1: and it's not so deplete. I don't feel deplete. Sometimes
Speaker 1: workouts will make you feel more depleted. Yes, this is
Speaker 1: not one of those, so I don't mean to shit
Speaker 1: on it, but I just like, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to get jacked anymore. I just want to be able
Speaker 1: to get on the floor. You want to be able
Speaker 1: to like stretch and like be yoga something gentle. Why
Speaker 1: does that have to be punishing because yoga, that's what
Speaker 1: I wonder, more punishing than me. Takes classes to punish themselves. Yoga.
Speaker 1: It's more punishing than me than these classes. Because I'm
Speaker 1: and I know this is why I should do yoga.
Speaker 1: I'm so tight in my hip and my lower back
Speaker 1: and all that ship with yoga is perfect for It's
Speaker 1: a goddamn disaster for me to do it. It's very hard,
Speaker 1: and I try. I've leaned into it. It hurts. I
Speaker 1: get bored. I have a d D. I just want
Speaker 1: to run around a little bit like a I can't understand. Again,
Speaker 1: I don't relate to people that do these classes. I
Speaker 1: know people love them. I am in the minority, and
Speaker 1: I'm like some people have a very healthy relationship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've done, but I went. I went with you and
Speaker 1: a meal to that bootcamp class in Nashville. Remember that
Speaker 1: I've done. I've done spin classes, I've done I've done
Speaker 1: every one of the yoga lass. I've walked out of
Speaker 1: a yoga class because I was just like, this is
Speaker 1: I'm sweating too much, I'm slipping all over the mat
Speaker 1: I hate this and I walked out. Um. For me,
Speaker 1: it's I get too competitive and I feel like a
Speaker 1: loser because I'm not as good as everyone else. I
Speaker 1: feel like I just I hate the chipper instructor who's
Speaker 1: making everything looks so easy, and I get jealous of
Speaker 1: her because I go, oh, she's done seven them these today.
Speaker 1: I'm never going to be as good as her. I'm
Speaker 1: not as healthy as her. Like there's always there's too
Speaker 1: much comparison for me, I just can't do it because
Speaker 1: I'm too wrapped up in like I'm not as good
Speaker 1: as other people, and it's a constant comparison. I've gotten
Speaker 1: to the point in my life that's healthy. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't give a funk about any of that ship anymore.
Speaker 1: I would. I used to, for sure. I used to
Speaker 1: be the most competitive person. It's not like I accept
Speaker 1: defeat and I'm just like whatever, I suck at this.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm pretty good. Yeah, I don't need to
Speaker 1: be the best at this. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: able to. I agree with you, Nikki. I used to
Speaker 1: think the same thing, like, oh, this is so punishing.
Speaker 1: But for the people who show up on a regular
Speaker 1: basis to these classes. They kind of become your support
Speaker 1: system and teammates to try to help you get through
Speaker 1: the class, depending on, of course, on what it is.
Speaker 1: There is something about that like a group, like we
Speaker 1: are supposed to work in groups, Like I was always
Speaker 1: someone who had never liked group projects because I knew
Speaker 1: that I would probably be doing most of the work,
Speaker 1: or the smart girl would make me like, I don't
Speaker 1: like that's a that's an issue with me, like that
Speaker 1: I have to resolve. But I just basketball, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't like aspects. I just want to get it on
Speaker 1: myself and if or I just rather not do it,
Speaker 1: Like I don't like doing things I'm not good at
Speaker 1: and and I look at exercises not like at least now,
Speaker 1: I don't look at it something that like I gotta
Speaker 1: get this done. It's like I want to go and
Speaker 1: any kind of scheduled class is not going to fit
Speaker 1: with my desire to work out. It's always going to
Speaker 1: seem like a chore and it's always going to seem
Speaker 1: like work, and to me, it's the opposite. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take the work out of working out, but that's what
Speaker 1: that does for me. I'm just like, oh, just show up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have to think it gives you a schedule.
Speaker 1: You'll think, yeah, yeah, and it's and it's nice to
Speaker 1: have something else in my life that I don't have
Speaker 1: to be the best at it. But it's nice to
Speaker 1: see improvement. And I know that I'm not. It's not vain.
Speaker 1: I'm not really doing this. To be sure, I'll look
Speaker 1: into two months out of you staying in my green
Speaker 1: room to check out your own body in the mirror.
Speaker 1: I was going to say that, I was going to say.
Speaker 1: I said, I still will check out my abs in
Speaker 1: the mirror if there's great lighting every once in a while.
Speaker 1: But mostly it's it's about now as opposed to it
Speaker 1: is probably but your boys. You know I wear boots now,
Speaker 1: me and Mark Marin, we're the same person. All right,
Speaker 1: Well we have a show tomorrow for you, so um
Speaker 1: check it out. Then this is all for the show today. Um,
Speaker 1: Andrew have a good day. Noah, have a great day.
Speaker 1: I hope our listeners do. Are you okay? Staring despondently,
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm just thinking about my workout, classic out
Speaker 1: there and muscles, I like it. Not believed yet