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Speaker 1: Good afternoon, everybody, Good morning whenever you're listening to this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hi Hi, Hi Hi Chelsea. Ye So Chelsea, I know,

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Speaker 2: I just got back from Mexico with two of my girlfriends,

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Speaker 2: and I know, for me, there are certain people that

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Speaker 2: like I don't even want to spend a whole day

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Speaker 2: at Disneyland with, but I like them. They're my friends,

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Speaker 2: these couple of girls I have a great time with.

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Speaker 2: And I'm curious for you, because you travel with people

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Speaker 2: all the time. What do you think sets apart somebody

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Speaker 2: that you know you want to travel with or you

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Speaker 2: know will be good to travel with, versus someone who

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Speaker 2: won't be.

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Speaker 3: Well, you can't be annoying first of all, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Like, first of all, you have to be self sufficient

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Speaker 1: and be able to be on your own, Like when

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Speaker 1: you're traveling, you can't be dependent on the other person

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Speaker 1: the entire trip, Like there are moments that you need

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Speaker 1: to stop and chill out, like go to the gym

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Speaker 1: or read a book for an hour or whatever.

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Speaker 3: So that's I think one criteria, Like the.

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Speaker 1: Neediness, you know what I mean, You're already on vucation together,

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Speaker 1: Like you don't need to do every fucking singles thing together.

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Speaker 3: But it's different if you're on like an active vacation.

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Speaker 1: Or if you're like at you know, like like when

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Speaker 1: I'm at my house in my Orca and I bring

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Speaker 1: people or invite people in, like we're usually together as

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Speaker 1: a group doing stuff. For the most part, it's random

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Speaker 1: that people are doing their own thing unless you bring

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Speaker 1: two wrong groups together, which I've done.

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Speaker 3: And then yeah, so I don't know. I think it's

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Speaker 3: always nice to just mix big groups. I've only had,

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Speaker 3: I honestly have a had.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I could count on one hand the bad combo

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Speaker 1: platters I've put together on trips. It's happened once recently

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Speaker 1: and then one year. Yeah, my birthday trip was just

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Speaker 1: a hot mess and I invited all the wrong people.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, and I just was like fucking paying

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Speaker 1: for it the whole time because everyone was not like

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Speaker 1: into each.

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Speaker 3: Other, not clashing.

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Speaker 1: It was just like I just I just hadn't planned

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Speaker 1: my birthday until the last minute, which is the way

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Speaker 1: I do things. So I invited just I randomly, and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't the right group.

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Speaker 2: It's it's hard to find a group of people that

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Speaker 2: are all going to gel together.

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Speaker 3: But it's not.

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Speaker 1: Actually like, if you're not an asshole, you can pretty

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Speaker 1: much get along with anybody for a fucking week. That like,

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Speaker 1: unless somebody is really riling you up and going off

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Speaker 1: on you, like I'm sorry I've been on.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Go on other people's vacations very often. I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: honest for that reason. So I get it that is

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Speaker 1: a thing. But I also think when you are at

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Speaker 1: someone's house, like you do behave yourself, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, You're not gonna have arguments with other people

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Speaker 1: or not get a wrong with other people.

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Speaker 3: Like I wouldn't do that.

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Speaker 1: I would figure it out and make it work for

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Speaker 1: a week, to be a good house guest.

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Speaker 3: I take a lot of pride in that, which is

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Speaker 3: why I don't do.

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Speaker 1: It very often, right, So I prefer to arrange the

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Speaker 1: vacation and bring people along. And I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: your family's the only one that everyone can be Like

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Speaker 1: our family, you can be a dick, and.

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Speaker 2: It's fine to say can happen, but we don't.

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Speaker 1: Fight, Like I only fight with my sister in law

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Speaker 1: Olga about politics like everyone else in our families on

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Speaker 1: the same page. So I just have to withdraw from her,

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Speaker 1: But we don't fight as a family, And I guess

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Speaker 1: we're pretty lucky that way, because you do hear about

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Speaker 1: a lot of you know, discord within families. But there

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Speaker 1: are some people that I've definitely left vacations early when

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Speaker 1: I've been in a situation where I'm like, uh oh,

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Speaker 1: this is not this is not what I was in envisioning. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And speaking of people to be on vacation with, I

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Speaker 1: have vacation with our guest a couple of times. He

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Speaker 1: and his wife and their baby came with me to

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Speaker 1: Whistler one year for a ski trip, and then we

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Speaker 1: went on a trip together overseas, and I think we've

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Speaker 1: been on one other trip together anyway. Yeah, he's somebody

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Speaker 1: that's good to travel with. I mean when they don't

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Speaker 1: bring their kids, let's be honest, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: need I don't need that.

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Speaker 2: I think parents need to go get away from the

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Speaker 2: kids too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have a good gay couple that I could I

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Speaker 1: used to go everywhere with, like my boyfriend and I

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Speaker 1: met him. This is years ago, this couple, Kevin and Brian,

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Speaker 1: and we went on like eight or nine vacations together.

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Speaker 1: Work trips and vacations and that was a great.

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Speaker 2: Combo, right Yeah, and then did they ruin it by

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Speaker 2: having a kid?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they had twins, so I haven't been on vacation

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Speaker 3: with them since. Shout out to Kevin and Brian.

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Speaker 1: And today's guest is my very old, dear, hilarious friend

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Speaker 1: who is married to another hot mess.

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Speaker 2: Right, and that's Jenny Mullen who guessed back in June

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Speaker 2: of twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 3: Mister Jason Biggs.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, Hi, high Penis face, what's up cot? Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the podcast, Jason Biggs. Jason Biggs is a very

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Speaker 1: old friend of mine. We have had many, many, well

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Speaker 1: humiliating experiences together, isn't that right?

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Speaker 3: Jason?

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Speaker 1: What is your fondest memory that we have experienced together.

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Speaker 1: Let's not start with most humiliating, because well I know

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Speaker 1: what mine is, but we're not going to talk about

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Speaker 1: that on this podcast.

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Speaker 3: But what's your fondest memory of us as a couple?

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Speaker 4: Hold on, I need to know why did want we

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Speaker 4: talk about yours? I'm curious if our is actually sync up? Also,

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Speaker 4: my fondest could be the most humiliating. Those those also

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Speaker 4: might sync.

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Speaker 3: Up, right right?

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Speaker 1: Well, I think our fondest If I was going to

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Speaker 1: encapsulate the fondest memory, there have been so many. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure I've forgotten half of the times that we've

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Speaker 1: spent together, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: I have a tendency for forgetfulness.

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Speaker 1: Jason actually has a better memory than I do because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't drink like I.

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Speaker 4: Do so anymore any anymore? Right right, right, Like you said,

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Speaker 4: old friendship, I mean, we go back to.

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Speaker 1: The pre drinking days. Oh yeah, yeah, when things were

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Speaker 1: really jumping off.

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Speaker 4: Yes, exactly. In fact, I have to say I'm really

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Speaker 4: impressed that we've maintained such a wonderful friendship even in

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Speaker 4: my post partying days. I mean, there are people in

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Speaker 4: my life obviously that knew me pre sobriety. But I

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Speaker 4: just feel like nothing's changed with you and I, which

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Speaker 4: I love. I feel like, if anything, our relationship has

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Speaker 4: gotten stronger. I feel like I've seen a lot more

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Speaker 4: of you. Weirdly, since I moved to New York in

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Speaker 4: a certain in a certain way.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that funny?

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Speaker 1: Isn't that funny how that happens to You have friends

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Speaker 1: that live in the same city and then you rarely

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Speaker 1: see them and then they moved to New York, and

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Speaker 1: then you see them every time you go to New York.

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Speaker 4: One hundred percent. Well, it's great. Will you always give

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Speaker 4: us a heads up when you're here, which I love.

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Speaker 4: I think that's fantastic, and we love seeing you, and

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Speaker 4: we love when you pay for dinner. It's great. But

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Speaker 4: I think there's one memory that I'm constantly reminded of online,

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Speaker 4: and it's usually from haters. It's never in a positive light,

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Speaker 4: even though for me the memory is just wonderful. Was

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Speaker 4: on that incredible boat trip that you very generously took

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Speaker 4: Jenny and I and a bunch of your other friends on,

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Speaker 4: and I may have urinated on you while you were

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Speaker 4: swimming in the ocean.

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Speaker 1: He yeah, he did urinate on me, and which I

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Speaker 1: obviously do not care about, because any parent knows that

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Speaker 1: urine is urine, and I consider myself a parent.

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Speaker 3: Any parent worth their thoughts has been urinated on.

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Speaker 1: But this was more directed at me, like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: an accident and I wasn't changing his diaper.

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Speaker 3: He actually I was.

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Speaker 1: I had jumped off the boat and he was about

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Speaker 1: to get in the boat, and he just started peeing

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Speaker 1: on the ocean and then just peed on my head.

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Speaker 1: And I was laughing so hard because it was so stupid,

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Speaker 1: and someone recorded it. Jenny had recorded it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Jenny was recording it, and then Jenny posted it

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Speaker 4: of course, kind of laughing so hard. I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 4: I ended up doing just like in the clown's mouth

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Speaker 4: at the carnival game. I think I got you right

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Speaker 4: right down the game. And then it was crazy a

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Speaker 4: balloon up on top.

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Speaker 1: Of your Yeah, yeah, I pulled my ripcord and so

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Speaker 1: then then I floated off into space. It's like when

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Speaker 1: you go Ellie skiing, you have a parachute on your back. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I'm not scared of urine like most people are, I guess.

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Speaker 1: And so Jenny was like, can I post this? And

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Speaker 1: I said, sure, who cares? And then now to this day,

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Speaker 1: I get Republicans going, You're a dirty who allowed yourself

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Speaker 1: to get urinated on instead of seeing, instead of seeing

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Speaker 1: the wonder full humor in the situation.

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Speaker 4: What's interesting is that Jenny asked you if she could post.

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Speaker 4: She never asked me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Well, I'm sure you're not getting that. Are

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Speaker 1: you getting a lot of Did you ever get a

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Speaker 1: lot of backlash for urinating on me or a lot

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Speaker 1: of prey.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no, no backlash. I'm saying I still to

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Speaker 4: this day, and You're right, it's hugely across a political

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Speaker 4: line to a certain person that will write in and

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Speaker 4: just remind me. I'd say, once every couple of weeks,

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Speaker 4: I'll just see something in my mentions Instagram and or

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Speaker 4: Twitter where it's like, yeah, never forget, you know, hashtag

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Speaker 4: never forget you peed on Chelsea's face. I mean, it's

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Speaker 4: just an every time I read a comment, I chuckle.

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Speaker 3: I do too.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I think to myself, what was I thinking allowing

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Speaker 1: someone to post that?

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Speaker 3: And then I think to myself, again, who gives a shit?

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Speaker 4: Who gives a shit? There's so many memories though, Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you know, it's interesting. Jenny and you go

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Speaker 4: even further back, obviously, and I met Jenny in two

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Speaker 4: thousand and seven, and I think I met you pretty

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Speaker 4: soon after meeting Jenny. I mean it was in those

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Speaker 4: first couple of months. I mean, shit, we were married,

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Speaker 4: like after knowing each other for a few months. But

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Speaker 4: I think right away we started hanging and you had

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Speaker 4: you just got the E Show. I think you were

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Speaker 4: maybe like first season or it was early days. I mean,

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Speaker 4: and you were like killing it, and you were doing

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Speaker 4: all these wonderful trips and parties, and we were very

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Speaker 4: lucky to be included. We had some great times. I mean,

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Speaker 4: the boat trip was for sure one of the one

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Speaker 4: of the all timers. But you know, I'll still run

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Speaker 4: into people that were at your party in Cabo, like

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Speaker 4: randomom people that I have, and they'll be like, you know, Chelsea,

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Speaker 4: don't you know. I was like, yeah, I know, Chelsea

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Speaker 4: were friends. She's you know, we've known each other a

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Speaker 4: long time. Yeah, I think I met you in Cabo

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Speaker 4: at her party. I said. There were so many people

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Speaker 4: at that party and I was so fucked up that

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Speaker 4: entire long weekend. I mean, yeah, so many people I

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Speaker 4: saw naked by accident, slash on purpose. A lot of

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Speaker 4: people I did drugs with and I didn't think even

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Speaker 4: did drugs.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of nudity all around the one of

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Speaker 1: the great highlights of our scuba diving trip, which is

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Speaker 1: the one we were referring to where the urination episode happened.

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Speaker 1: Jenny and Jason are very bona fide scuba divers. They

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Speaker 1: have spent a lot of time underwater. Are you guys

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Speaker 1: master divers?

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Speaker 4: Not master we are advanced open water we actually haven't

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Speaker 4: done in a few years. But no, that's really are

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Speaker 4: you a master diver?

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Speaker 1: Did you get your you saw my performance diving? I'm

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Speaker 1: not anything. And first of all, they have to take

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Speaker 1: out the word master diver. I don't think that works

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Speaker 1: anymore either. It's like master bedroom. If you have to

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Speaker 1: be a primary diver.

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Speaker 4: What about master bait. Do we have to change that

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Speaker 4: to primary bating?

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Speaker 1: No, because that's totally different and there's a U, so

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Speaker 1: it's not the same thing. But I did masturbate this summer.

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Speaker 1: I went when I was in my Orca. I went

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Speaker 1: on three dives because Sophie, who you know, my good girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: her sister Alex is a real diver. She dives all

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Speaker 1: over the world as well, so she was coming to

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Speaker 1: my Orca and I was like, she wanted to die,

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Speaker 1: and I said, sure, let me get you know, warmed

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Speaker 1: up again.

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Speaker 3: So I went on three dives.

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Speaker 1: But Jason was there when I went on my first

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Speaker 1: like eight dives because the French Polynesia trip was like

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Speaker 1: we would go on two dives a day, so everyone

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Speaker 1: was diving and it was my first introduction into diving,

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Speaker 1: and I had probably the closest thing to a panic

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Speaker 1: attack that I've ever had, which was being underwater, seeing

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Speaker 1: a very large shark underneath my feet, and then my

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Speaker 1: cousin Mollie grabbing my ankle to show me the shark.

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Speaker 1: So the two combo platters of someone grabbing my leg

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Speaker 1: and then looking down and seeing the size of the

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Speaker 1: shark that was underneath me, which was easily eight to

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Speaker 1: ten feet, I immediately just couldn't understand what.

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Speaker 3: I had to go up. Yeah, I had to go up.

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Speaker 3: I thought the shark had me. Then I saw my cousin.

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Speaker 1: I tried to kick her underwater, which anyone knows that

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Speaker 1: doesn't work. And then this are one of our divers

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Speaker 1: that we were, you know, with two guys were helping

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Speaker 1: us right for the whole group, and there were ten

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Speaker 1: of us, and one of the divers came right over

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Speaker 1: to me because I couldn't clear my goggles.

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Speaker 3: I was starting to kind of hyperventilate, and.

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Speaker 1: He grabbed me by the shoulders and he just started

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Speaker 1: gesticulating the breathing like to calm down, like breathe in,

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Speaker 1: breathe out, and he was holding my hands and I

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Speaker 1: was looking into his eyes and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna fuck this guy, you know, like he just

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Speaker 1: saved my life and he's calming me down, and this man,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to have to show my love by penetration afterward.

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Speaker 3: And afterward.

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Speaker 1: He we did the rest of the dive, holding hands

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Speaker 1: while Jason and Jenny were giving me the finger underwater,

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Speaker 1: telling me I was such a.

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Speaker 3: Baby and I had an underwater boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I was excited, like I was like, Okay, this is

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Speaker 1: my underwater boyfriend. And then when we get up, when

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Speaker 1: we got up from the sea of life to the

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Speaker 1: natural world and we were above water, he took off

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Speaker 1: all of his contraptions and I was like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna fuck this guy. Like that was we if

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Speaker 1: we were going to have sexy, which would have been.

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Speaker 3: Underwater, the goggles did a lot of worse. Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: that was a bullet dodged.

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Speaker 1: But also, you know, one of my typical signatures ailes

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Speaker 1: of behavior.

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Speaker 3: Someone helps me and then I feel attracted to them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, oh my god, that was that was kind

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Speaker 4: of amazing. Meanwhile, speaking of sharks, I forget how this

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Speaker 4: came up. Chelsea was talking to Jenny about this great

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Speaker 4: white shark dive trip. Chelsea, I believe it, found out

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Speaker 4: about it, had spoken to someone who was involved in

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Speaker 4: this charity. You could basically pay in. It's all charitable.

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Speaker 1: Like a scientific research trip. Yes, that you could kind

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Speaker 1: of tagleong for.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And Chelsea was like, I'm doing this, do you

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Speaker 4: guys want to go? This was after I think the

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Speaker 4: Polynesian trip, so she was super into the diving.

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Speaker 1: And we Gaudalajara, I believe, right somewhere in Guadalajara.

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Speaker 3: You go on a science boat.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if you leave from San Diego and you go

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Speaker 4: out to this Guadaloupe island.

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Speaker 3: In Guadalupe, I knew it was guad.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a guad. It was a guad and

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Speaker 4: one of the Yeah, it's this big great white.

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Speaker 3: Short one of the gus, one of the gods.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a big great white shark breeding ground.

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Speaker 4: And Chelsea got us in We're like, oh fuck, yeah,

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Speaker 4: we're definitely doing that. Chelsea's like, cannot wait, this is

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Speaker 4: going to be so awesome. And I don't know in

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Speaker 4: my memory it was. It was a couple like we

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Speaker 4: had planned it for a little while and it was

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Speaker 4: a couple weeks before the trip, we had booked our flights,

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Speaker 4: everything was a go. We were flying out, we were

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Speaker 4: gonna stay with Jenny's mom, who lives in San Diego.

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Speaker 4: We had a bait. SID was really little. Chelsea talks

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Speaker 4: to Jenny or me or both. It was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I don't know what I'm thinking. This sounds awful. It's

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Speaker 4: a twenty four hour boat ride out to this island. Again,

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Speaker 4: information that we knew from the very beginning, but she

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Speaker 4: just decided to not let it didn't absorb, and so

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Speaker 4: she's like, for.

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Speaker 3: The record, no, no, excuse me, for the record.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say I don't look at details

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Speaker 1: about things until they come closer. So whether that information

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Speaker 1: was available or not, I don't I'm not contesting that,

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Speaker 1: but I am going to say that I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: been privy to that information until it came closer. And

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Speaker 1: then I start to look at details, and I start

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Speaker 1: to look at pictures of where we're staying.

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Speaker 2: Right on a science boat.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this is not an excuse, Chelsea. I mean this

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Speaker 4: is again, all of this information was readily available months

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Speaker 4: and months prior when we got When you got us

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Speaker 4: excited and By the way, Chelsea and I live in

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Speaker 4: different economic brackets for sure, but it wasn't a small

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Speaker 4: lump of change. I mean, this was like a nice

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Speaker 4: donation to go on this trip. And She's like, I'm out,

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Speaker 4: I'm out. Did you guys see the boat? Like this

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Speaker 4: is disgusting and it's a twenty four hour trip and

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Speaker 4: the water's insane apparently, and where I'm out and what

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00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 4: happened on our en? I'm like, wait, what really is

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Speaker 4: this all going to fall apart? Jenny was like, Chelsea's right,

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Speaker 4: I'm out too. This is horrible. I don't know what

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Speaker 4: we're thinking. This is this boat looks terrible. So now

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Speaker 4: she's gone, So now we're left. I'm like, what's gonna

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00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 4: happen in the end? Your cousin stepped up? Molly stepped up,

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Speaker 4: and well, Molly was always.

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00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,920
Speaker 1: Going, Molly was going always and and Dara, I said, Molly,

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Speaker 1: you take a friend.

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Speaker 3: So Dara who you know?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we are in.

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Speaker 1: My Orca with her this summer. We wait, Dara who

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Speaker 1: used to work with me on my Netflix show. She

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Speaker 1: went with Mollie was and by the way, did you

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Speaker 1: did you end up going?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,680
Speaker 4: Yes, such good friends Chelsea. We've known each other so long,

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Speaker 4: and really.

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Speaker 1: I went there, so I mean, you expect me to

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Speaker 1: remember moments I wasn't even there.

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Speaker 4: Fucking out, Yes, I went, and I ended up getting

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Speaker 4: a friend to go, Like days before, I was able

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Speaker 4: to find somebody because because Jenny was also like I'm out.

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Speaker 4: I'm out. Chelsea is right. This boat looks like shit,

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Speaker 4: it's gonna sink, and I don't want to go when

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00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 4: we have we have one kid. I should stay back

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Speaker 4: with the kid in case you sink and die. So

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Speaker 4: I found a friend and it ended up being fantastic.

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Speaker 4: Ours the best Molly and I. We had the best time.

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Speaker 4: My buddy was great, Like, we ended up having an

382
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Speaker 4: incredible trip. It's a life highlight for sure. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: it all sort of came together in a very Chelsea

384
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Speaker 4: in way where it was like, this is the next

385
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Speaker 4: big adventure. We are doing this, and we're all like yes,

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Speaker 4: and then She's like, ah, have fun, guys out.

387
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:34,359
Speaker 1: But also Dara was seasick from the time they left.

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Speaker 1: I don't get seasick, but I think on this kind

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Speaker 1: of adventure you might get seasick.

390
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 3: She was sick.

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00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 1: She lay in her bed and it was a bunk bed,

392
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Speaker 1: a cement bunk bed.

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Speaker 3: So I was right not to go. I was right

394
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Speaker 3: not to go because I.

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Speaker 1: Would not have been okay with that, Like I need

396
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Speaker 1: the right pillow tops.

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Speaker 3: You brought Maxi pads.

398
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 4: That's what we just lend a whole bunch of Mexicans.

399
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Speaker 1: Jason always has Maxi pads on him always. Actually I

400
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 1: prefer the term Maxi shield.

401
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 3: Anyway. Yes, that's a good story. I'm glad you brought

402
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 3: that up. Jason.

403
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,119
Speaker 1: I have a question for you because I know that

404
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 1: you and Jenny just came back from one of your

405
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Speaker 1: adventures and now that you're traveling with two small children.

406
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Speaker 1: Well one of them isn't so small anymore, but they're

407
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Speaker 1: technically smaller children.

408
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Speaker 3: They're not legal.

409
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Speaker 1: How is that going for you? Because it looks crazy.

410
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, at the end of every trip that we take

411
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:33,160
Speaker 4: with the boys, Jenny and I say with complete conviction

412
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 4: to each other that we are never going to do

413
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 4: it again. There is no way we can take them.

414
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 4: It ends up being just not fun for us, and

415
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 4: it's just a waste of money and time and energy,

416
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 4: and we're never going to do it again. And then

417
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 4: we're like monkeys touching the electric fence.

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00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 1: You know.

419
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 4: A couple of weeks later, we're like, where should we

420
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Speaker 4: go next. I will say this last trip that we took,

421
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 4: we went to Dominica Republic on their spring break. It

422
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 4: was the first time that it felt okay. We were hopeful,

423
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:15,159
Speaker 4: like there weren't too many major inconveniences because of their age,

424
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 4: because of their fighting, because of the time and all that.

425
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 4: It was the first trip where you go, oh, okay,

426
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 4: I think we're maybe on the other side of it.

427
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 4: But you know, fully, once I'm sure where it's going

428
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 4: to the next trip we take is going to be

429
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 4: a disaster. It's hard. I mean it's very hard. But we,

430
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 4: like you, we love travel. For us just like you, Chelsea,

431
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 4: I believe we have this in common, like travel is

432
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 4: the number one thing in our lives. It is how

433
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 4: we learned, We want to learn. We're curious people and

434
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 4: we love doing it, and it's it is where we

435
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 4: spend our money. It's our luxury and we like doing it.

436
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 4: And like we always said, we were never going to

437
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 4: let the kids get in the way that and there

438
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 4: for the first couple of years though, you know, we

439
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 4: would still we were still what we should have done.

440
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 4: I think was sort of edited. The kinds of trips

441
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 4: that we took been a little bit less ambitious. But

442
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,679
Speaker 4: out the gate we were like, no, we're not going

443
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 4: to not go to Europe, Germanys. We have kids now,

444
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 4: fuck that. But in the end we probably should have

445
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,880
Speaker 4: just went to Nantucket, you know, or the shore like

446
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,719
Speaker 4: we would have had fun. It wouldn't have been as

447
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 4: big of a put out for us in every way.

448
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 4: But I think we're finally on the other side of

449
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 4: it because our boys are now both I think at

450
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 4: an age where they're you're seeing their curiosity about the

451
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 4: places we go to. They're better with jetlag obviously that

452
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 4: that was always a huge part of it, and I

453
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 4: think they're getting better. So I don't know. I'll keep

454
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,360
Speaker 4: you posted. We're going back to Europe over the summer,

455
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 4: so we'll see.

456
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 1: One other memory before we get started is for anyone listening,

457
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: because I know the Ayahuasca episode is one of the

458
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,119
Speaker 1: most popular that I did for the Chelsea Does series.

459
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 3: That was with Jason's wife, Jenny.

460
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 1: So the woman in that episode, along with my other

461
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 1: friend Dan, was Jenny, and Jenny had a real epiphany,

462
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: but she also had a very like emotional reaction to

463
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: the ayahuasca. On the first night, and I'll never forget us.

464
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 1: We were in Peru, like on some tributary off the Amazon,

465
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 1: and that night I'll never forget Johnny was just like

466
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: all I could see she only had one baby at

467
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: the time, Sid and She's like, all I could see

468
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: is my baby and my husband and my baby, and

469
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: how much I love my baby and how much I

470
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 1: love my husband and how much I love my baby.

471
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: And I was like, go call Jason and tell him,

472
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: and she's like, she called him, and then she got

473
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 1: off the phone and go, did you tell him how

474
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,880
Speaker 1: much you realized you loved him? She's like, no, I'm

475
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 1: not telling him that far. And I just thought that

476
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 1: was so fucking funny. But of course Jason learned about

477
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: it all because he was saw the episode.

478
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 4: But yeah, she doesn't want to give me too much

479
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 4: and that would be that would shift the power balance

480
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 4: and our relationship in her mind. Yeah, but it's so

481
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 4: interesting that ayahuasca. Man, it really, it was just so

482
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 4: profound for her. She came back, she was very clearly

483
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 4: a changed person because you know she Yeah, motherhood for

484
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 4: hers is a very you know she's got the weird mom,

485
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 4: and she she was always afraid to be a mom

486
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 4: and afraid that she couldn't do it and all this stuff.

487
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 4: And so that that specific episode, I mean, was hugely

488
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 4: important and it was incredible. She came back. All the

489
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 4: things that you're that, the positives you hear about ayahuasca,

490
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 4: it all happened to her. I knew your experience was

491
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 4: a little different, but for her, she came back and

492
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 4: she was like a changed person, changed mom, changed wife,

493
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 4: the whole thing.

494
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

495
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 4: And I was like, this is amazing. It lasted about

496
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 4: six months, I would say, and then it started to

497
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 4: just peter out and then it was sort of back

498
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 4: to square once. So I've been trying to push for

499
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 4: her to go back to Peru some more ayahuasca.

500
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 3: Well have you you've never done ayahuasca? Have you no?

501
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 4: And I you know, I was already sober when you

502
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 4: guys did that, And honestly, I didn't really know much

503
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 4: about ayahuasca before that, So when it got on my radar,

504
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 4: I was already sober. And I'm kind of conflicted about it.

505
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 4: The truth is, like I mean, I saw it with Jenny,

506
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 4: and I believe the science behind it that it does

507
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 4: have incredible therapeutic potential, particularly with addiction and substance issues. Actually,

508
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 4: and so interestingly ironically, I think it would be wonderful

509
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 4: for me. But at the same time, because it is

510
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: a mind altering substance, I'm on this sort of it's

511
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 4: a sort of a gray area for me as a

512
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 4: sober person to mess with that. You know, I think

513
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 4: everyone sober people I think that you would talk about

514
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 4: it would all have a different answer about it. I

515
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 4: think my sponsor, for example, would probably say, no, don't

516
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 4: do it. But I'm weirdly open to the idea. But

517
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 4: the fact that I haven't yet in how everybody was

518
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 4: that seven years ago. The fact that I haven't yet

519
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 4: speaks volumes. But you know, now it's sort of the psilocybin, right,

520
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 4: that's the new sort of version of ayahuasca. And I'm

521
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 4: in the same boat with that. I'm like, I believe

522
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 4: it's therapy to polic I know that I would benefit

523
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 4: from it.

524
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, I believe you would too.

525
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm not as your you know, obviously, I'm not your sponsor,

526
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,679
Speaker 1: but I think you have the personality that's always like,

527
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's a growth edge drug ayahuasca.

528
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: Not to speak to the psilocybin, because I feel like

529
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: that could become a habit psilocybin whereas ayahuasca's kind of

530
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: a one off.

531
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: Well, I never did ayahuasca recreationally. That wasn't in my

532
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 4: repectation of drugs, whereas psilocybin was something that I would

533
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: do to get fucked up a lot, exactly.

534
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: And ayahuasca is more of a therapeutic.

535
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: Even though psilocybin is in the way it's distributed, it

536
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 1: can become more of a habit, whereas ayahuasca is just

537
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: kind of like an experience. There are people who do

538
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: it multiple times, but I feel like my experience lasted forever.

539
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: Knock on wood, I still have the same feelings I

540
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: had after I knew that it changed my mindset period

541
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 1: for good with regard to my relationship with my sister.

542
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, Well that was very entertaining Jason as usual.

543
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 3: I just love talking to you.

544
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: Oh and the other thing I love about Jason, which

545
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: is why he's on the show today, is because he's

546
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: very into therapy and he's very into talking about his emotions,

547
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: and for a straight guy, I appreciate that. I think

548
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 1: he's Jewish because he goes to therapy, but I'm always

549
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: reminded that he's actually not Jewish because Jewish men are

550
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: so good at therapy. But Jason is very well attuned

551
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,959
Speaker 1: to his own emotions and talking through them, and so

552
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: I thought it would be very nice to have a

553
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: straight guye on to answer our callers questions, and we

554
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: curated them towards you so that you will wait.

555
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 3: Okay, I love that.

556
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: Well, we'll take a quick break and we'll come right

557
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 2: back with some callers, and we're back. We're back. Well,

558
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 2: we'll start with a caller today. Aisha is calling in

559
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 2: about a sensitive subject and we have to get her

560
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: back to work. So she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a

561
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 2: thirty six year old woman married with two boys. My

562
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 2: husband and I have been married for about a decade.

563
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 2: He is the epitome of a good man. He never lies,

564
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 2: he's actually incapable of lying. He has never yelled at me.

565
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: He respects my friends and family, goes out of his

566
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 2: way to help anyone, and is genuinely one of the

567
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: best people I know. Before him and I got married,

568
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 2: we had each been in one other serious relationship. My

569
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 2: first boyfriend, when I was nineteen, was the first man

570
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 2: I'd ever had sex with, and he was much more

571
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 2: experienced than me. The sex with him was amazing, but

572
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 2: he was the epitome of a bad boy and didn't

573
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: treat me the greatest. My husband also has had only

574
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 2: one other sexual partner prior, and that relationship he had

575
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 2: was only a few months long. Needless to say, he

576
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 2: was very inexperienced when we got together. The sex between

577
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 2: us has never been great. In the very beginning, things

578
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 2: seemed promising, like it might get really good, but as

579
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: time went on it was the same old, lackluster routine.

580
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: I know they say you have to teach your partner

581
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 2: what you like, but I don't want to have to

582
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: train a man. There's nothing sexier than a man who

583
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 2: knows what he's doing in the bedroom and just takes

584
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 2: full control. I've never had an orgasm with him, and

585
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 2: as the years went on, we've just had less and

586
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 2: less sex. We'd attempt it occasionally after having kids, but

587
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 2: i'd have to stop because nothing was working and I

588
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: would just completely shut down. We're to the point now

589
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 2: where we just don't have sex at all. I have

590
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 2: zero romantic interest in him, and I can't even will

591
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 2: myself to want to kiss him. I long for the

592
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 2: days of my twenties when I was having incredible sex

593
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 2: and the feelings of just not being able to get

594
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 2: enough of my partner. I'm now in my mid thirties

595
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: and I crave to have that relationship with a man again.

596
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: I find that the only pleasure I get comes from

597
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 2: masturbating thinking about the sex I had with my ex.

598
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 2: How do I get the romantic feelings back from my

599
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: husband and how do I get a great sex life again?

600
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 2: Please help? Sincerely, Aisha, Hi, Aisha Hi, Chelsey, Hi, Aisha Hi.

601
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 3: We have Jason Biggs as our special guest today. Say hi, hi, Hiisho.

602
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: I'll jump in first because I just want to say,

603
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: you owe it to your partner to express these things

604
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: and to try, and it is your responsibility in a sense,

605
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 1: to teach your partner what makes you feel good. It

606
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: is because you're in a committed relationship and there's no

607
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: way that he's going to figure that out without you

608
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: verbalizing it. And as unattractive as that may sound, you're married,

609
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: you've been in this relationship for sometime. You owe it

610
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: to him to give him a chance to understand what

611
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 1: you're expecting or what you need. Obviously having a no

612
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 1: orgasm and not having great sex is a turnoff, right,

613
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 1: But how can you expect him to know anything unless

614
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 1: you are communicative about it, and you know a sex

615
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,199
Speaker 1: therapist will be able to give you the language to

616
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: use if you don't feel like you know how.

617
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 3: To say these things to him.

618
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: Okay, Like, you can't give up on your relationship unless

619
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: you give somebody the tools to improve and then they

620
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: can't do it, then then there's a you know, you

621
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: have to kind of overturn all of these things before

622
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: you can give up on someone. I would say, I mean,

623
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: if you were dating him for a couple of months,

624
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: sure fucking say good bye.

625
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 3: But I think don't you owe him a little bit

626
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 3: more than that?

627
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 5: No, I agree, as if.

628
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 6: I just find the communication part very hard because he's

629
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 6: not a good communicator. So whenever we do try to communicate,

630
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 6: it's always like I put myself out there and he

631
00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 6: doesn't really know how to respond or how to fully community.

632
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 6: Like we've already gone to like marriage counsel and I

633
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 6: got couple's therapy, and even like the therapists. We started

634
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 6: out together and then they recommended that we do individual

635
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 6: sessions as well. Like, even the therapist had trouble getting

636
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 6: him to communicate and open up. So it's just very

637
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 6: vulnerable for me to put myself out there and then

638
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 6: not get anything back.

639
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 4: Did he remain in his individual therapy.

640
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 5: Not very long.

641
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 6: Even the therapist was like, we're not really getting anywhere

642
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 6: because like he really doesn't know how to communicate.

643
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: This is a very common issue among men, FYI, So

644
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 1: you know that, you know, I know a lot of

645
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: my friends who deal with the same thing.

646
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously, sex is hugely important in a relationship,

647
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 4: especially in a marriage, but I do believe you need

648
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 4: to sort of exhaust every option obviously before you sort

649
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 4: of raise the white flag here. It's a bummer to

650
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 4: hear that he's not a great communicator. It's interesting because

651
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 4: you talked about how could a guy he is, But

652
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 4: I really wish there was a world in which you

653
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 4: could both commit to Does he understand just how important

654
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 4: an issue this is to you, Like, how much has

655
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 4: been conveyed to him in terms of how you specifically

656
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 4: the sex issue, how important it is to you, and

657
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 4: how much it is an issue. Is he aware? He

658
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 4: is aware of it, right?

659
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 6: I mean I would like to think so, but I

660
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 6: guess we haven't really had that full conversation. But I

661
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 6: mean at this point, I mean, I couldn't even tell

662
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 6: you the last time that we had sex.

663
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 5: It's probably been years.

664
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 3: We'll start with that.

665
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you need to start with that. I

666
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 4: mean it's and not in a threatening way, obviously, but

667
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 4: I think he should know that you're in a really

668
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 4: bad spot. This is something that's incredibly important to you,

669
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 4: and you're not You don't want this relationship to end.

670
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 4: He's the father of your children, and you guys obviously

671
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 4: he's a great guy and you guys have something clearly.

672
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 4: But I think you need to let him know just

673
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 4: how really difficult this particular position is for you. And

674
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 4: if there isn't movement, then you don't don't know what

675
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 4: sort of to do from there. He needs to know

676
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 4: how sort of dire it is, because it is important.

677
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 4: Jenny and I fight. I mean, we've gotten into some

678
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 4: real fight. We'll go we joke about it, but the

679
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 4: truth is we'll go stretches without having sex, and sometimes

680
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,719
Speaker 4: the sex is just whatever, And but we know that

681
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 4: the potential is there. We just have to find the

682
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 4: way to talk to each other and let each other

683
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 4: know what the issues are. I really think you should

684
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 4: try to make him go back to therapy, and if

685
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 4: he doesn't want to do individual again, like then the

686
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 4: two of you go back to the Chelsea mentioned a

687
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 4: sex therapy. There's marriage counselors, but then there's ones that

688
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 4: are more specific to sex. I think would be really

689
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 4: good for you to look into. I can really tell

690
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 4: from your letter. But assuming that you want this to work,

691
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 4: I mean, are you kind of at the end where

692
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 4: you're just going I want to be done with this

693
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 4: and I don't know what to do next, or do

694
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 4: you want this to work out?

695
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: No?

696
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 5: I want it to work. I mean we have two kids.

697
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 6: I mean it's not something that I'm just going to

698
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 6: walk away from, and I mean I definitely want to

699
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 6: put in the effort, you know, to make it work.

700
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, well then I think you need to put in

701
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: a little more effort. Yeah.

702
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: A good person to listen to just on your own

703
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: first and foremost is Esther Peril. She's like the great

704
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: sex therapist and she has a podcast and she talks

705
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: about this exact thing with couples and when their sex

706
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: dries up and they don't have any spark left, and

707
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: that sounds kind of like where you are. But I

708
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 1: don't know if writing an email to your husband or

709
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: sitting down and talking to him, which whatever you think,

710
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: would have a greater impact, but really laying it out,

711
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: because the only way he's going to learn to communicate, obviously,

712
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: is with your communication. I know many men that are

713
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: like this, and you have to say, this is exactly

714
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: what Jason saying. This is getting dire. I'm starting to

715
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: think about maybe we might not make it unless we

716
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: start to cultivate some more sexual honesty between us, and

717
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: for me, that involves having pleasurable.

718
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 3: Sex with you.

719
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: If you're interested in that, we have to work to

720
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: revitalize our relationship.

721
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:58,479
Speaker 3: We have two kids.

722
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: I want to stay married you, but I don't want

723
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: to live like this forever.

724
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 3: So it's not a threat.

725
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: It's just an honest assessment of where you are and

726
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: maybe therapy and time. But really focus on the sexual therapist.

727
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: Like getting a sexual therapist. These people are skilled and

728
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: well versed in how do you get the ball rolling

729
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: again and communicating Because even if your husband's a shitty

730
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: communicator in real life, he could be a great communicator.

731
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 3: In your sex life.

732
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: There are different compartmentalizations that people have, and once they

733
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: learn the language and get the vocabulary, they're excited to

734
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: be able to use that vocabulary.

735
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: So you could still have that.

736
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like, you could still have

737
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: a good sex life if you put some effort in.

738
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:38,959
Speaker 3: There's a possibility of that.

739
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: You know, there's no guarantee, but it's worth exploring more

740
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 1: and focusing on that aspect of things rather than maybe.

741
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 3: Going to couple's counseling.

742
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: Since you guys already try that route and it didn't

743
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: work out, I would say you didn't have the right counselor,

744
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: and it's worth trying again. But first and foremost, I

745
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: think you should address this issue because you know, having

746
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: sex with people.

747
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,959
Speaker 3: It is always going to bring you closer to that person.

748
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Esther also talks a lot about how when

749
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 2: you're more comfortable with your partner, like you talked about

750
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 2: at the top of your email, the more comfortable you

751
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 2: are and the more safe you feel. Sometimes like the

752
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: sex get it fizzles and it gets less hot and

753
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: less hot. The more comfortable you are with them. So

754
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 2: she has books and she's got a podcast, so I

755
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 2: would check that out as well. I think one other

756
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: thing to point out is this conversation that you're gonna

757
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 2: have with him about like this is something that's really

758
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: important for the continuation of our marriage. Is something that

759
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 2: while it doesn't seem like there's a huge risk of

760
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 2: that because you guys aren't really having sex anymore, it

761
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 2: should not come at a point where you've like tried

762
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 2: to have sex and it's fizzled. It should be like, hey,

763
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 2: family meeting time, just you and me, let's talk about

764
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 2: how we can jump start our sex life because this

765
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 2: isn't working for me.

766
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 4: So that family meeting with the boys as well would

767
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 4: be very interesting.

768
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.

769
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 5: We just had that conversation with my five year old

770
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 5: the other day. Actually, yeah, about your.

771
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 4: Sex life with your husband?

772
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 5: Well no, no, no, no, no.

773
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 6: We were in the and he just randomly said, so,

774
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 6: how do babies actually get.

775
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 5: Into the mom's bellies? I need all the information.

776
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: Maybe your husband just needs all the information.

777
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 3: It does.

778
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 2: Here's exactly what I want.

779
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

780
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 4: I could have said, well I used to know, but

781
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 4: it's been so long I couldn't tell you, and.

782
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say like I've never had an orgasm with you.

783
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 1: I would say, like, it's been a while since I've

784
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: had an orgasm with you, Like this is what it

785
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: takes for me to have an orgasm, you know, Like

786
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: do you feel comfortable with having this conversation with him?

787
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 6: Not particularly, but I'm going to force myself to do that.

788
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 6: The only thing I'm really struggling with is once we

789
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 6: get through this is like in my head, I always

790
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 6: have this expectation that sex is just gonna be shitty,

791
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 6: so I can never like initiate it. How do I

792
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 6: get over that hurdle of once we get there and

793
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 6: we're starting up again, like getting out of that mindset?

794
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: Well, you should tell him a that you want him

795
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 1: to initiate sex, right, and you're projecting like your past

796
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: experience onto the future, which does doesn't ever work for anybody.

797
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: Because you can have a new beginning with him. You

798
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: have to be present about what you're doing. Now you

799
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: have a new approach. You're going to talk to him

800
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: in an honest way that you probably have an exercise

801
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: for a while. So the result of that has the

802
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: potential to be really great, and you should focus on

803
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 1: that instead of what has happened in the past.

804
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 3: Okay, and just keep telling yourself. If you want different results,

805
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 3: you have to act in a different way.

806
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: Your behavior now is going to be different because you're

807
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: addressing it head on, and that's going to lead to

808
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: different results. And that's what you have to keep telling yourself. Okay,

809
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 1: all right, we'll keep us posted and let us know

810
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: what happened.

811
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 3: Okay, we're back, all right.

812
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 5: I will thank you.

813
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: So send us some pictures of you guys having wild

814
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 1: sex and I'll post thanks for you.

815
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 3: Actually, I'll have Jason post them for you.

816
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, shaw bye bye, all right, well, good, we

817
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: put a smile on her face. That's the most important thing.

818
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 6: MS.

819
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 3: Dude, all my Orange just escape to me. That's my

820
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 3: therapy Orange. I know.

821
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,879
Speaker 2: Hopefully this is the point where like she can get

822
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: to the point where they're having great sex, like she

823
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: talked about, like I was envision.

824
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 3: At this point because it sounded sex just any sex

825
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 3: and men.

826
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: You know, Jason, your present company excluded because I doubt

827
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,399
Speaker 1: you're like this, But I mean, there are so many

828
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: men that are not able to communicate anything, and that

829
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 1: the idea of communication is so scary that they would

830
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 1: rather opt out of the relationship than have to deal

831
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: with it, you know what I mean. But there's also

832
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,720
Speaker 1: a group of men who, when put to the test

833
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: and know that it's the end of the rope, will

834
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 1: do whatever they can to salvage the relationship.

835
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 2: I think that was such a good point that you

836
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 2: guys both made. Was so often when it's like, we

837
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 2: haven't had sex in three years, I'm out, Like it's

838
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 2: the person gets blindsided and they didn't even see it coming,

839
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 2: when like she's obviously been feeling this way for years,

840
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: maybe for their entire relationship. So having that conversation where

841
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 2: she's like, I'm getting to the point where I want

842
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 2: to raise the white flag is so important.

843
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 3: Yeah.

844
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: Well, our next caller is Gabriel, and Gabriel says, dear Chelsea.

845
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 2: I'm thirty years old and disabled. I've been in a

846
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: very lovely relationship with my girlfriend for the past six years,

847
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 2: and for four of those we've been living together. I'm

848
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 2: one hundred percent sure she's the one that's been settled.

849
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 2: May issue is this all our family and friends ask

850
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: when we're getting married and having children. Getting married will

851
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 2: eventually happen because that's something we both want. We just

852
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 2: aren't worried much about it since we're in a great

853
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 2: place in life right now. I take issue with the

854
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,839
Speaker 2: question about when we're having kids. My girlfriend and I

855
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 2: are sure that we don't want kids for more reason

856
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 2: than one. Some are personal, some come down to the

857
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 2: fact that we just don't want them. Comments at least

858
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 2: toward me, are always made about how I'm very good

859
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: with kids and I must be wanting to become a dad,

860
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: when in reality, I don't really like kids. I'm good

861
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 2: with them because they're just that they're kids, but it

862
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 2: doesn't mean I want them for myself. I find myself

863
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 2: not knowing how to answer this question anymore without sounding

864
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 2: like an asshole or what others claim is selfish. When

865
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 2: asked why I don't want kids, no means no. Even

866
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 2: with a seemingly harmless question like this, it does get

867
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 2: very annoying, and I'm running out of things to say

868
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 2: because to some folks, I don't want kids isn't enough.

869
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: Thank you all for listening. I hope you can tell

870
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: me what to do, because I'm starting to think just

871
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 2: walking away from the question is the way to go.

872
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 2: HI Gabrielle.

873
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 3: Hi Gabrielle, Hi, gabriel Hello, how are you guys, Eri

874
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 3: Gabriel That's Jason our special guest today.

875
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,760
Speaker 1: Jason Biggs is here, so you have a straight mail

876
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: to lean on as well as the two of us.

877
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 4: Straight ish Finally, Nice to meet you man, Nice to

878
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 4: meet you, Jason.

879
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 3: What would you like to say out of the gate

880
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 3: on this one?

881
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 4: Oh boy, Yeah, I actually really want to hear what

882
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 4: Chelsea has to say on this. I think it's more.

883
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 4: I think it applies more to her. I mean, my

884
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 4: situation is this, I always wanted kids. I married someone

885
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 4: who was not as gung ho as I was, you know,

886
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 4: and so there was always a bit of a disparity

887
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 4: in whenever we would answer this particular question for starters,

888
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 4: but also when just our general approach to it. As

889
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 4: time started going by, and we've been married for multiple years,

890
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 4: we didn't have to sit until we were married almost

891
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 4: you know, eight or nine years, anythink, But eventually Jenny

892
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 4: sort of Jenny's big thing was fear. The reason she

893
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 4: didn't want to do is because she was afraid she

894
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 4: would be a terrible moment. Because she didn't have a

895
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 4: particularly great moment right. I think that's sort of my

896
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 4: psychology one on one on the whole thing. But there

897
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 4: was a part of her that sort of knew why

898
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 4: and knew that maybe she should over try to at

899
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 4: least overcome that fear. So I saw an opening, So

900
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 4: I definitely was trying to kind of push it a

901
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 4: little bit more. Ultimately we did it, We got to

902
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 4: that place, and she became a different person as a mom.

903
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 4: I mean, we talked earlier in this episode about Jenny's

904
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,439
Speaker 4: yahuasca experience. She for the first few years and even

905
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 4: to this day, sometimes she's like, I don't what am

906
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 4: I doing? Was this the right thing? But I shouldn't

907
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 4: say was this the right thing? She knows it was

908
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 4: the right thing, but she still questions, you know, we

909
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 4: all anyway. My point is she's on the other side

910
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 4: of it now, and it's an incredible thing that we

911
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 4: have the kids. So it's a little different, I suppose,

912
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 4: than where you guys are in that you're both on

913
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 4: the same page about this. That's the great thing about

914
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 4: your situation, I think, is that there's no disagreement, there's

915
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 4: no difference in the way you guys feel about the issue.

916
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 4: So that's wonderful, Chelsea. I really want to defer to

917
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 4: you on this, like what are your.

918
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 1: Thoughts on I think that you should come together with

919
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 1: your fiance and develop a united front answer for each person.

920
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: People just don't have any original ideas to talk about.

921
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: So when they know that you're in love, they want

922
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: to know when you're getting married, and then they want

923
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: to know about kids because that's just the way that

924
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: society has been built. So the best way to just

925
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: confront that, or you don't have to confront I guess

926
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: it's more of like, you know, you feel like you're

927
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 1: on the defense when people ask you that question. I mean,

928
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,919
Speaker 1: I know that I've been asked that question, even as

929
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 1: public as I've been about, you know, not wanting children.

930
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 3: Not that I don't like children, I don't.

931
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 1: It's exactly what you just said in your letter. I'm

932
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,399
Speaker 1: nice to them because they're children, but I.

933
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: Don't want them. I don't want one of them.

934
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 1: And it's a newer idea culturally, but it's not a

935
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: new idea. There are plenty of people that have had

936
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 1: children that shouldn't have had them, that didn't want them,

937
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: that thought that they had to have them. So a

938
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: simple answer is we don't want to be one of

939
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: those people who regret having children because.

940
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 3: We both just don't feel the urge that's good.

941
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: And having people try to convince us otherwise feels really

942
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: unfair to an on board child, you.

943
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 7: Know, That's really all it is. Like I'm I'm someone

944
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 7: that's really happy with my life. My girlfriend Santa, she's great.

945
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 7: She We're both really in great stable areas in our lives.

946
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 7: We love what we do, and like it's just for

947
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 7: one like she has for reasons. I have my reasons.

948
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 4: For me.

949
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 7: I know as a disabled person that I cannot have kids,

950
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 7: Like I know that, and that's such a thing that's

951
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 7: like not very common with guys, and that's like spoken about,

952
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 7: like infertility, it's not very talked about. And I think

953
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 7: that's kind of really frustrating in my case because I'm like,

954
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 7: I can't have kids, and then I get the.

955
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 8: Oh, you should adopt kids.

956
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 7: I'm like, you're not listening to know. I don't want

957
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 7: exactly the whole experience, the kind of like how Jason

958
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 7: said with the fear at the same time. At first,

959
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 7: I think it was the fear, but I think in

960
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 7: my case, my fear is kind of in a selfish way,

961
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 7: because I have an amazing mom, but as the years passed,

962
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 7: and like with diabeties, I know her life is kind

963
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 7: of ending. And as selfish as it is, like this

964
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 7: is something like I hold to my heart. I don't

965
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 7: want to bring kids into this world and them not

966
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 7: get to meet my mom and enjoy her, because my

967
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 7: grandmother was a huge part of my life and I

968
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 7: only got to enjoy her for eight years and that

969
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,399
Speaker 7: like crushed me. And I'm thirty now and every day

970
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 7: I remember her. I try to keep her present in

971
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 7: my life. But at the same time, I'm like my

972
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 7: girlfriend always says that she just doesn't have the desire,

973
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 7: and like, I know that I also don't have the

974
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 7: desire because I've never, like, like I said, I'm good kids.

975
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 7: I've babysat a lot of kids. I've actually even delivered

976
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 7: a kid. Eleven year old should not be delivering kids.

977
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 7: I was an eleven year old delivering a kid. Weird experience.

978
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 7: I know, I was like, WHOA not for me? So

979
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 7: that's another reason it's cool. My friends have kids. A

980
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 7: lot of them kind of bug me about it and

981
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 7: like just even know is like they just won't take

982
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 7: that they bring up an excuse, but maybe Siena does.

983
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 7: And I'm like, I know, I know Sienna doesn't want them.

984
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: But also you don't owe anyone even an explanation, you know,

985
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: And I'm a good way to shut it down is say, listen,

986
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: I've experienced enough difficulty in my life being handicapped. Like

987
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: my experience is enough to take up a lot of

988
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 1: space in our room. We don't have room for a child.

989
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: That should shut people the fuck up right away.

990
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 7: I'm only four to four great, Yeah, I'm really short,

991
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 7: so I'm only going to hold my kid for two

992
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 7: months and then I'm gonna be like, all right, well.

993
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 4: You're my size. But I also, Gabriel, I think you

994
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 4: should run with. Dude, I think you should run with.

995
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,439
Speaker 4: Next time someone asks you, be like, have you ever

996
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 4: delivered a kid? And when they say no, you'll be like,

997
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 4: I have, I don't want to do again. I'm done,

998
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 4: peace out. Just drop the like I literally get delivered

999
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,479
Speaker 4: a kid on them. I feel that's your trump card.

1000
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you can transition to that funny story,

1001
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 2: you know, like it traumatize me enough, like I can't

1002
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 2: handle it.

1003
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was too much for me.

1004
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1005
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: I mean, we just gave you three options to shove

1006
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: people the fuck up, So I mean just write all

1007
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,439
Speaker 1: three of those down and that way you can fire

1008
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: that off anytime somebody asks you the question.

1009
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 2: And I will say, as someone who's been married for

1010
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 2: a long time, you know, assuming you guys go the

1011
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 2: long haul, there is a point at which it stops

1012
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 2: being cute, like people think it's cute to ask you

1013
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: in you're having kids, to where it's awkward for them

1014
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 2: to ask you if you're having kids, like after the

1015
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 2: ten year mark, they're like, well, if they wanted them,

1016
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: they'd be having them already, or there might be some

1017
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 2: trouble going on there that they, you know, can't get

1018
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 2: pregnant or whatever. People make their own assumptions just like

1019
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 2: they do assuming that you might want kids. So it

1020
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 2: does get a little bit better.

1021
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's that's really what I'm I'm I'm hoping for.

1022
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 7: Like it's just very I think I'm in like a

1023
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 7: generation where it's in the middle of a transition area

1024
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 7: where younger folks want to not have kids and women

1025
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 7: and guys are just kind of living a more free

1026
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 7: life with like older folks. So you got to get married,

1027
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 7: you got to have the kids. And so I'm kind

1028
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,240
Speaker 7: of like, I enjoy my life. I like to smoke

1029
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 7: my weed. I like to enjoy my Dodger games. I

1030
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 7: work with homeless veterans. I help house them, so that's

1031
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 7: like a job that I absolutely love in a door.

1032
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 7: I have a dog, I have my precious partner. Like,

1033
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 7: I don't need anything else. I'm fine, I'm happy, We're happy.

1034
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 7: Can it just kind of stop there. It's just a

1035
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 7: little frustrating and overwhelming, the constant, constant, constant. It's like, damn, y'all,

1036
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 7: pull the funk out.

1037
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.

1038
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 4: I say this, though, for what it's worth, I would

1039
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 4: assume that it's better that it's coming externally as opposed

1040
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 4: to within the relationship. The fact that you yeah and

1041
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 4: she or on the exact same page about this is

1042
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 4: such a beautiful thing, and that's what's ultimately going to

1043
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 4: get you through. You know. It sounds like you've got

1044
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 4: a lot, a lot of things to be happy for

1045
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 4: right now. So yeah, it's a bummer that this kind

1046
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 4: of weazy down a bit. But I hope there's a

1047
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 4: like Catherine said, I think it'll subside.

1048
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 7: I sure hope so I'm looking forward to that, like

1049
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 7: I know, marriage and all that stuff. Eventually, it's something

1050
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 7: we want. We've talked that out a million times. The

1051
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,280
Speaker 7: kids stuff as well. We're just we kind of as

1052
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 7: bizarre as it is. I think that was kind of

1053
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 7: a turn on which she was like, Oh, I don't

1054
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 7: want kids.

1055
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 1: That's not bizarre if you feel that way and you

1056
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: find someone that's like minded, and a good idea is

1057
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 1: when you do get married, a great announcement to make

1058
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 1: your wedding is that we don't want to be asked

1059
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,399
Speaker 1: about children because we're not having any.

1060
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1061
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 3: I love that.

1062
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 2: Well, Gabriel, thank you so much for calling in. Let

1063
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 2: us know how it goes next time you tell a

1064
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: gory story about delivering a child at eleven years old.

1065
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 7: All right, thank you guys so much. I appreciate your words.

1066
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 7: Thank you.

1067
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,240
Speaker 3: Take care, Gabriel. I have a good one.

1068
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 1: Delivering a baby, and I was going to ask him that,

1069
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: but I was like, shit, I didn't know how much

1070
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:26,439
Speaker 1: time we had.

1071
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have more questions than answers after that, You're right,

1072
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie.

1073
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1074
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: Well, Grace says dear Chelsea, my husband of a couple

1075
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,800
Speaker 2: months now, who I truly adore, follows, likes and views

1076
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 2: what I call first trap influencers on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok.

1077
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 2: I'll admit they're super hot, but you know the kind.

1078
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 2: It's almost like watching porn or being on only fans

1079
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,720
Speaker 2: all day now. As a single guy in the past,

1080
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 2: I'm sure he did this prior to our involvement or marriage.

1081
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,919
Speaker 2: Totally fine, and in fact, I promote healthy porn watch

1082
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 2: in and out of a serious relationship. I myself partake

1083
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 2: in such pastimes. For some reason, this feels different. When

1084
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 2: does it become too much or not acceptable. I'm not

1085
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 2: a twenty eight year old with great tits and a

1086
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 2: smoking ass, but I do know he finds me attractive,

1087
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,399
Speaker 2: and I also feel pretty damn sexy myself. I mean, hell,

1088
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 2: I do me. He doesn't have many followers on his accounts.

1089
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 2: He seems to just use these platforms to follow sports,

1090
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 2: politics and these naughty girls. We aren't friends online ourselves,

1091
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 2: and I don't sneak looks at his dms. We have

1092
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 2: a great sex life and I feel loved, seen and appreciated.

1093
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 2: Why do you think I feel sad when he quickly

1094
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 2: scrolls past and tries to hide these bang and ask girls,

1095
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,959
Speaker 2: just wondering what your thoughts on this are and maybe

1096
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 2: how to express this to him without seeming incredibly insecure

1097
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: and tell him it makes me uncomfortable? Should I worry?

1098
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 2: Or is it not a big deal? I'm on the

1099
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 2: fence all my love, Grace?

1100
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 3: What do you think of that? Jason?

1101
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 4: She said something at the end there about how do

1102
00:49:55,960 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 4: I say this without seeming insecure? What's wrong with seeming insecure? Cure?

1103
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 4: I have two thoughts on it that kind of fight

1104
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 4: each other. The one is I don't think it's that

1105
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 4: big a deal. Hi, baby, big career? We're talking?

1106
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 3: Baby? Is that you?

1107
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:12,359
Speaker 4: I'm getting text?

1108
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:17,359
Speaker 8: Could you be a little bit quieter? By too long

1109
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 8: to hear me?

1110
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 3: Jenny? We need your advice on this.

1111
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 4: Okay.

1112
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: So we had someone Collin who said that her husband,

1113
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: who she loves very much, follows a bunch of thirst

1114
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: trap type people on Instagram. He follows politics, sports, and

1115
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: thirst traps, and she's getting insecure about him looking at

1116
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: these photos of women and she doesn't want to come

1117
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 1: off as insecure, but she doesn't know what to do

1118
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: because it makes her feel uncomfortable.

1119
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,240
Speaker 8: Well, I just go on, Jason's going to delete anybody.

1120
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 8: I don't want him following.

1121
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: You're right, right, okay, so that's one option, that's and

1122
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 1: Jason never notices.

1123
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 4: That really interesting block them. I still feel like I

1124
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 4: follow a couple now, well not for law.

1125
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 8: For him though, are like pictures of like Hooney on

1126
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 8: a bit of ripes.

1127
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 4: That's true for real, it's true. No, but hold on,

1128
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 4: I do think Look, it's the porn issue, right like,

1129
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 4: even when the sex is incredible, but more discrete about well,

1130
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 4: that's my thing. He needs to either chill the funk out,

1131
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 4: be more discreet. It sounds to me like she's trying

1132
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 4: to find it a little bit. No I find baby,

1133
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:25,479
Speaker 4: do you see who I find?

1134
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: Like?

1135
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 8: Don't you see nothing that Sarah Foster always does when

1136
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 8: she sees that, like Tommy like likes a photo of

1137
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,479
Speaker 8: like some like, well you don't like it, well, first

1138
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 8: of all, don't be an idiot.

1139
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 4: Don't like the photos you can follow it, don't post

1140
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 4: all right, don't.

1141
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 8: Come all over the.

1142
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 3: I love you, love you.

1143
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 4: But my other thought is there's nothing wrong with being

1144
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 4: honest and also showing your vulnerability and your insecurity. But like,

1145
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 4: come on, say it like Hey, dude, I if I

1146
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 4: was the guy and Jenny came up to me and

1147
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 4: it was like, you would not castrate me, and I

1148
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 4: do do it.

1149
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 8: I do follow.

1150
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: Booth in everybody, this is what's happening at their house.

1151
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 4: I do. There are a few people I follow. Shut

1152
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 4: my door.

1153
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 3: So I can follow some more. Okay, I feel like

1154
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 3: you need to.

1155
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: She needs to tell him that it makes her feel icky,

1156
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: and I think that's fine.

1157
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, she should be honest with them. She should be

1158
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 4: honest with them, but with the understanding that it's like

1159
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 4: he's not doing something wrong. In my opinion, it's if

1160
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:29,320
Speaker 4: you make him feel like he's being accused of doing

1161
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 4: something wrong. It's how you phrase it. If you make

1162
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 4: it about yourself. This is This goes for anything in

1163
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 4: the relationship, right you make it not you?

1164
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: Not you are making me feel insecure. It makes me

1165
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: feel insecure. I'm insecure and this doesn't help my insecurity.

1166
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,320
Speaker 3: Not you make me insecure, which is such fucking bullshit.

1167
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 3: When someone says that to you.

1168
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 4: Thank you, that's it. It's a It's a subtle but

1169
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 4: incredibly huge difference. And that would be my approach.

1170
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 2: Maybe the ask is, can you follow those gals on

1171
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 2: another count, so like you can look at that in

1172
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 2: your private time, so I don't have about.

1173
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: That now when you have private stuff and it's like

1174
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: it's not private, It's not like he's having an affair.

1175
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 3: He's just looking at these accounts.

1176
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,959
Speaker 1: Listen, when I start dating a guy and I see

1177
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 1: that they follow a ton of celebs accounts and they're

1178
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: not a celebrity, I'm grossed out.

1179
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is he doing? You know what I mean?

1180
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 3: Like gives you that? Not in an insecure way.

1181
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,919
Speaker 1: I'm just like, wait, why is this guy caring about

1182
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: so much about celebrities if you're not a celebrity?

1183
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 3: Like, the whole point of dating somebody that's not a

1184
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 3: celebrity is that you don't want to deal with that

1185
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 3: whole world. Do you want to have a life independent

1186
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 3: of that?

1187
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,800
Speaker 1: So I can relate to it in a certain certain degree,

1188
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 1: Not as in a jealous way.

1189
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 3: I'm more of a turned off way, like what are

1190
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 3: you doing?

1191
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: But I think when you have insecurities, it's okay to

1192
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 1: express them as long as you're not accusing the other

1193
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 1: person of making you feel And then see how he

1194
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:46,759
Speaker 1: responds to that.

1195
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 4: That's it. See how he responds might go, oh god,

1196
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 4: and look joking aside, I follow some pages on there

1197
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 4: that I'm not particularly that that are a little voyeuristic

1198
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 4: and weird that sometimes then we'll post like sexy photos

1199
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 4: of people. Well I don't follow the sexy accounts, but

1200
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 4: they'll sometimes be reposted on other accounts that I follow. Sure,

1201
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 4: but here's the thing, like he doesn't have to follow them,

1202
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,399
Speaker 4: Like if you treat it like porn, dude, you want

1203
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 4: to go to those pages, go check them out at

1204
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,880
Speaker 4: another time when you're alone. You don't have to be

1205
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,320
Speaker 4: sitting there scrolling and have to so that she's just

1206
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 4: unfollow and the next time you want to see someone's boots,

1207
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:26,280
Speaker 4: whether it's on a porn site or an Instagram follow,

1208
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 4: go and do it in privacy. To me, it's an

1209
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 4: easy fix. But I do believe if she approaches it

1210
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 4: with vulnerability, I think there's no reason he shouldn't react.

1211
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 1: And also he may get defensive in the beginning. But

1212
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: if that happens, see what he does, how he responds

1213
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: instead of reacts, you know what I mean, Give it

1214
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 1: a little space to see how he responds to your

1215
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: feelings being heart or you being insecure, about something, because

1216
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 1: in a loving relationship, the other person should worry about

1217
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 1: the other person's feelings and you know, making sure that

1218
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 1: they're okay.

1219
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're not asking them to like get what

1220
00:54:58,560 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 4: is this to give up? I mean, at the end

1221
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 4: of the day, day, it is like compromise, right, is

1222
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 4: the key to relationships at the end, it's like compromise

1223
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 4: and communications. So at the end of the day, if

1224
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 4: it really came down to he needs to not follow

1225
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 4: a couple sexily clad models on Instagram, then like, who cares, dude?

1226
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also like, I don't know that it's a

1227
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,399
Speaker 2: big I mean, I feel like a.

1228
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 3: Girl, it's not a big deal. It's not a deal

1229
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 3: breaker as all it is. It's not a deal breaker.

1230
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, But ultimately you have to decide. See, that's the thing.

1231
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 4: I don't think it's a big deal. You have to

1232
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 4: kind of see, like whose needs need to be met more?

1233
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 4: You want to meet both person's needs. But at the

1234
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 4: end of the day, someone may have to bend a

1235
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 4: little more, right, right, Yeah, And we don't know who

1236
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 4: that person is in this situation, but I can see

1237
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 4: either one of them needing to bend and it's not

1238
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 4: the fucking end of the world. If you need to

1239
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 4: unfollow a couple of people to keep your marriage.

1240
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 3: Intact, Yeah, follow them and need to tell.

1241
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 4: Him to look at them in another room and you're

1242
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 4: not aware of them, then fucking deal with it like

1243
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 4: it's something it has to be at some point.

1244
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 3: Okay, Jason, just calm the fuck down. I need to.

1245
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 3: I have to, Okay, obviously, I just we're gonna be

1246
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 3: right back. We're going to take a quick break. We're

1247
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 3: gonna take a quick break and we'll be back. Okay, bye,

1248
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:18,760
Speaker 3: and we're back.

1249
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: We're back to wrap up with Jason.

1250
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 1: To wrap up with Jason Biggs. Everybody, what a delight, Jason,

1251
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 1: what a.

1252
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:26,760
Speaker 4: Just primary baited during the break.

1253
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 3: It's called white humor. It's called white privileged humor. You guys. Okay, Jason,

1254
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being here. I love you

1255
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 3: so much, Love you so much.

1256
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 4: Chelse, thank you for having me. Catherine, so great to

1257
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,320
Speaker 4: meet you. Likewise, You're the best, Chelse, Love you guys.

1258
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:53,320
Speaker 3: Okay, take care, have a great day Banks. Bye.

1259
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,560
Speaker 1: Okay, guys. We have added more shows to my Little

1260
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,240
Speaker 1: Big Bitch tour. I added another second show in Toronto,

1261
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 1: so I have two shows in Toronto now to December seventh,

1262
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:06,720
Speaker 1: December eighth, December ninth, I'm in Ottawa and two new shows.

1263
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 1: At December fifteenth, On a Friday, We're doing a seven

1264
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,720
Speaker 1: thirty and ten pm show with Kevin Hart and Friends

1265
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: that's in Thackerville, Oklahoma.

1266
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: And all my other.

1267
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 1: Shows you can buy tickets for at Chelseahandler dot com.

1268
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm starting my tour backup on September twenty ninth in

1269
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 1: New York City at The Beacon, which is sold out,

1270
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 1: but the next night there are tickets available September thirtieth

1271
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: at the Beacon. So for all fall dates you can

1272
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: go to Chelsea handler dot com for tickets and you'll

1273
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: see me.

1274
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1275
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1276
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1277
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

1278
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1279
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: com