WEBVTT - Toxic Relationships with Guest DJ Dramos 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:07.240 Alright, right, all right, what's popping? This is your Girl, 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:11.399 and you're listening to Exactly a Mada, a production of 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:15.960 I Heart Radio. Today we're having a special guest. He's 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:19.120 gonna be helping me talk about toxic relationships. I think 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:21.160 we've all heard about it, we've all been through one, 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:24.040 or maybe it's just me. I don't know. But we 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:27.639 started up to come Go earlier in his podcast Life 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.319 as a Green Girl, and now I'm inviting him to 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:33.640 join Exactly a Mada and we will continue the conversation here. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:41.599 He is DJ Dramas. Hey, I'm excited. I feel like 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:43.879 I had you in my home and now you've invited 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:48.839 me into yours. Very exciting time. Welcome to to Exactly 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:54.760 a Mata. Be exactly Drama, nice and scandal as yourself, outgoing, transparent, unique. 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:58.600 You already know. But earlier we were talking about toxic relationships. 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:00.680 I told you about you know, some of the things 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.560 that I've been through in my past in my toxic relationships. 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:05.880 Now I want to know about yours. Tell me a 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.760 little bit about yours. Have you had any toxic relationships 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.920 that you regret or you felt like, damn, I could 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.680 have done things a little bit different. Yeah, I mean 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.800 I think that I've had a lot of situation ships 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:23.880 that I could have I could have done differently, and 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.800 that led to toxic situations. I can think of, like 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.240 you know, when I was definitely like djaying heavy in 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.640 the clubs, like girls would just pull up on me 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:34.640 and it wouldn't be pretty a lot of times, you know. 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:39.360 Um So I probably put my my job at risk 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.280 a little bit sometimes, but maybe drama of people showing 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:45.640 up uh and things like that, or having like one 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.600 situation ship there and then another one randomly shows up 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:50.600 and now I have to deal with that whole explanation. 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:54.520 Um So, yeah, my my toxic behavior definitely put me 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.600 in some some sticky situation. Do you think it's more 0:01:56.640 --> 0:02:00.760 toxic women or men? M Who do I think the 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:02.920 ladies I want to know, go to exactly a mad 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.320 on also platforms and let me know who is more toxic? 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:10.480 Women or men? Dok sequels if you see. I think 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.679 it's it's different kinds of toxic though, because women are 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.440 like can be incredibly spiteful, you know what I'm saying, 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.280 And that is a whole another level of toxicity. Men 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:22.639 could just be fucking dumb and just be like assholes 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:23.679 at the end of the day, you know what I'm saying, 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.960 that's just like another level right there. And I feel 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:30.080 like with men, it's kind of like, you know, they're big. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.720 Our biggest thing is like lying to get women into bed, right, 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:34.560 that's like the probably the biggest trait that somebody could 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.200 Maybe you have to lie that much because women are 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.280 so sexually freaking they're like, you know what, I just 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:41.000 want to bust it that and stake it to me. 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.320 That's that's that's a great point, and probably a lot 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:49.519 of a lot of dudes could have had that conversation 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:51.640 and being a far better position than they would have 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:55.280 had they had not just gone off the honest Yeah, 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:58.240 would you be able to deal with that though, like 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.600 an open kind of polyamorous relate, Hell no, we ain't 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.640 doing that, you know what. I'm not gonna like for 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.360 the man that the men that have h done me 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.720 like that that you know, let's say a lot of 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:11.880 a lot of times to say it doesn't have to 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:13.280 be a one day stand. It could just be like, Okay, 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:15.440 I'm gonna take you out on several dates. Because a 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:18.160 lot of guys when they really wanted. Hey, they will wait, 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:21.680 they will wait, they will lie. They're gonna take you 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.000 on a couple of dates. I thought about now. But 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:26.120 once they get it in, they get in sack. So 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:27.839 they want to stick it in your nose, in your ear, 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.080 and we're gonna want to know everything to you, like 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.240 I'm trying to get my money back. But it's true. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.520 But I will say this, but so a lot of guys, 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.440 I really don't think that they understand how that behavior 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.600 creates like a top six cycle with women, because then 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:45.320 now it's like they originally had all these good intentions 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.760 for you, or maybe they actually liked you, and by 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:51.080 you doing that, now the next guy that comes after you, 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.600 he's gonna get the business because of what you did, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.480 and then it just creates this weird cycle where we're 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.080 just you know, being spiteful to each other. You know, 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:03.560 it's weird. Well, what's like the I mean, like, what 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.160 has a dude dunk? I'm trying to think of my 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.520 own toxic behaviors, but like, what would is there one 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.440 thing that sticks out in your head that like, damn, 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:12.000 like this dude, he got me good with this really 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.839 like just fucked up thing he did um, oh my god, 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:17.640 if I tell you, I'm gonna feel terrible because I'm 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:24.800 but I was I was really young, Okay, don't judge me, battle. 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.600 I was really young or whatever. And I was dating 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:30.800 this guy, much older, guy, like twenty years different. Um, 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:34.520 so he like he knew how to play and play me. 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:39.200 And he basically we had a trip to the Dominican Republic, 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.159 and he basically brought his ex girlfriend with us to 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:47.320 the trip. But he was with me, but he brought her, like, 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.719 you know, we're just really cool friends, you know whatever. 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:54.920 We were already involved. I'm with you. He let it 0:04:55.040 --> 0:05:00.200 be known that whatever. And I was like, wait, I 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.600 guess it happens. You mean, it's a liberate me just 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:07.480 trying to understanding, and yess, whole way at home, I 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:11.640 went home and they staying in the trip because I 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.160 just couldn't do it happen. Look, I couldn't do it. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.960 I saw them being too friendly. Sometimes I stayed sleeping 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:21.039 in the room and they had already gone downstairs to 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:23.159 have breakfast together, Like, oh, I didn't want to wake 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.080 you up. It was just weird. I don't even know 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:29.440 how I dealt with that. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say, 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:31.640 how does that even work? It's like y'all go scuba 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.480 diving as a trio. I don't understand how this works 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.520 on because he was like, oh, okay, she's gonna go 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.880 see her family. I don't even know how I felt 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.200 for it, but I felt that it was toxic because um, 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.919 and made me feel insecure. It made me feel so 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:49.040 conscious about myself and made me question even my sexuality, 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.440 like sexually, was I not pleasing enough? Um? And made 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.640 me it made me doubt myself in so many levels. UM. 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:59.320 Then I felt come stopy that you know, for being 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:01.680 like open and nice and like all right, baby, I 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:05.000 trust you. See, here's where the once the trust is 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.880 broken and messages up the cycle for every every other relationship, 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:13.520 because then you're consistently questioning even if this person is 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.520 not doing anything and you just said a new relationship, 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.680 Now you're questioning, oh, obviously this guy is not gonna 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.280 be like the other one, maybe you're gonna do this, 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:23.680 or if this other person used to, like I don't know, 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.000 cheat on you by testing another girl. Now you want 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.360 to see in your new relationship, let me see your phone, 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.840 And it just creates like a really bad cycle of 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:37.040 unhealed people started trying to start a new relationships and 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:40.880 it's just bad. Yeah. I think that that's a great point. 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:42.320 And you brought up something I want to touch on 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.240 because you said it made you feel insecure about yourself, 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.440 Like was I not pleasing him sexually? And I can 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.479 say from a dude's perspective that have the time when 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.080 we look at another woman outside of our relationship, if 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.560 we're not acting like, they don't have to actually be 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.280 any more attractive than the current relationship that we're in. 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:07.920 It's just the fact that it's something something right absolutely 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:10.960 and temperates. And like even when I was just running 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:14.040 around and getting into situation ships, like there were times 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:16.320 I would just go sleep with another woman that wasn't 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.120 even as attractive as the girl that was giving me 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.560 regular play, just because it was something new. You know. 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.680 That's what the guys do. That's what the guys do. Yeah, No, 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.520 that's terrible. You'll be leaving your girl and that's the 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.920 that's the Oh my women move ahead. But if I 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:32.760 want to tell me that you understand where I'm coming from, 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.560 comparing in my heart, I know you know what I'm 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:39.400 talking about. When you know that your man is cheating 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.120 on you with somebody who's raggedy. I'm like, if you're 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.240 gonna cheat on me and make sure that that she 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.360 looks better than me, that she's smarter than me, that 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:48.560 she's better than me. But I think you're gonna go 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:52.720 with somebody gainsai. Okay, Joe, why would that makes it 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.680 even more subconscious? Like, oh hell no, but it is true. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:58.920 Sometimes it's not about us, because that's the thing that 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.560 women were always they being ourselves. Maybe I didn't do 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:04.400 this to him, Maybe I didn't cater, maybe it would 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.960 maybe and reverse man is more like she didn't do that. 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:13.160 It's because I hurt and they don't blame themselves for it. 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.560 Another question here, I want to see like where you're 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.920 toxic line is drawn here? Okay, So I mean we 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.080 talked about it on my podcast. You know that you 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.680 are a little protective over your men, right when it 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.560 comes to being around other women. What about when it 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:34.520 comes to like porn, Like is your man allowed to 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.800 watch porn by himself and forth? I don't care if 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:41.600 you watched porn by himself because I watched porn by myself. Shoot. Yeah, 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:44.640 Sometimes it's like see that's like my new dick. You 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.480 see how guys want you pussy? My new dick is 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:50.880 like watching porn. It's like I'd rather watch a new video, 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:56.000 a new or like anything new. I'd rather watch that 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:59.760 than to actually go physically share my body with someone else. 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.960 Because I'm not a good cheater. I don't think that 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:04.920 I could cheat on you and then come home to 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:08.480 you and act like everything's regular. Maybe if I flirted, Yes, 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:12.240 I'm gonna be honest. If I've heard it with another guy, Okay, 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:15.880 that's it better. If I gave you, I could never 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:17.319 come home to and be cool because I feel like, 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:18.839 oh my god, he smells it. Oh my god, he 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.000 can feel it, and I actual weird. No, stop, don't 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:24.040 do that anymore. Oh my god, that's stress. I can't 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:26.199 do it. I can't do it. Have you ever cheated 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:31.320 on somebody? I have never never physically cheated on someone. However, 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:35.439 if learning is considered cheating, which it is, I cheated me. 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:42.880 But I'm only I did it. I've only because that's 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.640 why I asked you earlier, like, um, do you still 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:51.440 want to feel that that that? Uh? Do you still 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:54.040 want to feel wanted by other women? Even if you're 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.000 in a relationship, I'm like, I'm gonna really, this is 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:57.560 my man. First of all, I'm gonna let you know 0:09:57.960 --> 0:10:01.160 I got some man. So no, but if you want 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:02.839 to come in pretty and stuff or whatever, okay, go 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:07.160 tell me, like tell me, oh my god, stop, don't see. 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.480 I'll do it. But that's it. Don't call me not 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.840 because I don't want so I will. I'm very flirting, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.800 and sometimes even when I'm not trying to be flirting, 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:19.360 my personality makes you feel like I'm trying to holler 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:23.080 at you. I'm not. I'm just being nice right that 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:24.600 That is a problem where I think a lot of 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.480 men will mistake women being nice as like yo, she 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:31.959 wants I'm just being nice to you, and all of 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.319 a sudden I've heard it like oh yeah, because you 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.520 know what I'm saying, you were trying to holler. I'm 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.360 like me, he was like, oh yeah, because you know 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.040 what I'm saying. You were talking to him. Yeah. I 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:44.240 talked to everybody a really nice verson. But but I'll 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.480 definitely say that though, like, um, sometimes that those mixed 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:51.040 signals can get guys confused. Better. Yeah, I've cheated, you know, 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:53.800 as far as flirting. I've done that. What about yourself? 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:59.000 Be honest, I've never cheated in a relationship. No, you 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.240 never stuck it to then came back home and then 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:05.000 you stuck it again to your girl. Nope, never happened. 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:07.680 Never happened. And that's also I have only been in 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:14.679 a handful of official relationships before that. The rest situation ships. Yeah, exactly. 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:16.600 The rest was like, yeah, it's casually. Didn't know, it's 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.360 nothing official. You know what I'm saying. So we could 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:22.160 go girls, listen to the dev he's giving game. That's 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.560 another thing. You know what in a relationship when okay, 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:29.360 not in a relationship, when do you make it an 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.679 official relationship? How do you know the difference in between 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.360 the situation ship and a relationship, because a lot of 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.920 girls sometimes be like, oh, this is my man, and 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:41.199 he thinks this is just a situation ship. Sure right, 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.240 I think you gotta have the conversation because I know, 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.840 for me in the past, if we didn't have the conversation, 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:48.880 I am still technically single and I can go do 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:50.800 whatever the hell I want to do. So that's how 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:52.360 my mind was, and I think a lot of my 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.239 guy friends would have Okay, So then who starts the conversation. 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:59.080 I mean, whoever watched too. I guess at that point, 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.400 whoever wants to lock things down, you know what I mean? 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:03.760 Like I think I in my relationship, I asked my 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:05.439 girl to to make it a fishal you know what 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.360 I'm saying. So like I was definitely all in and okay, no, no, no, 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:10.520 I want to hear you. Okay, tell me pretend that 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.319 your girls here, So like, how did you do it? 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.040 How did I do it? Okay, Well, we went out 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.959 to dinner and we had like a whole nice little 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.800 nights together. When she came back to my place, I 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.040 had like this whole giant sign. I went, like, you know, 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:26.240 as if we were little kids back in grade school, 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.400 like will you be my girlfriend? And a giant sign 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.400 with candles lit up and and all that kind of stuff. 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.080 Mm hm. So you know, so listen, hey, there are 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:35.679 good guys out there. Is what I want to make 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.559 a point to say. But definitely I think that if 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.280 it's not official, then you ain't in a relationship like 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:44.520 you have, that that conversation has to happen. I don't 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.680 care who in issue and talking about a Fisher relationship 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:48.160 or not. And I know this is away from being 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.640 toxic and all these things, but like, do you ever 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:55.320 feel the difference in between having well you've never been married, right, Okay, 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.800 But I've heard this many tends on social media where 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.600 there's a lot of people saying, oh, well she's doing girlfriend, 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:04.880 she's doing wife things at a girlfriend's status. Um, what 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.720 truly is these days? What truly is a difference in 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:13.200 between a girlfriend and you know, your wife, because these days, 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:14.880 But I mean then then I don't even know the 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:20.959 difference anymore. We lived together, we fuck, we share expenses, 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:25.040 we do So what exactly is the difference we're in 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:29.760 a difference between a situation ship and a relationship? Now, girlfriend, 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.480 now that she's made it to the girlfriend, what's the 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:36.960 difference between the girlfriend and the wife? I mean, I think, 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.560 first of all, I haven't seen this conversation too, and 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:41.840 I don't think it's for any of us to necessarily 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.040 tell somebody who lived their life. But what I think 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.120 is you do have to be careful when it comes 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.160 to like investments, I think is where you sort of 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.280 start like getting a little bit shaky, you know what 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.280 I mean, Where like if I'm if we're doing investments together. 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:57.120 Potentially if we break up, could really funk up my 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.640 money in the future and like put us both in 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.960 like a your place. To me, that's where I would 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:03.640 start to draw the line, you know what I'm saying. 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.840 And I'm not opposed to doing that. It just depends 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:08.440 I think on how long I've been with somebody and 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:12.079 like what the circumstances are of that relationship and what 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:13.880 I'm saying. I think if you live like a levels, 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.320 if you live together and you're both like sharing in 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.200 all the bills and all that kind of stuff, I 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.520 think you graduated into a certain level. I don't think 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.320 you necessarily have to be married to kind of do 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.520 all of those different things. Um, I think marriage is 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.720 just like kind of I don't know. I don't want 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:29.360 to I don't want to say it's just a title. 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.200 Do you want to get married? Yeah? I want to 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.320 get married for sure, like legally with papers and everything. 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:39.040 Oh yeah yeah, legally papers, uh, you know, with a 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.600 priest and family involved and all that kind of stuff. 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:46.320 For sure. We're getting back to the topic. Hold on, 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.640 what about you used to try to scape via this, 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.840 this whole thing. I felt the shade coming from from across. 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:53.640 I don't know. I don't think I want to get 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.640 married anymore. I think that I want to get married, 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:59.000 but just not legally what you did want to get 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.200 married at one point and you're yeah, for sure, I don't. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.240 I don't think I want to do it anymore. Um, 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.880 I don't think. I think that. I feel like it's 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:10.120 jinxing and there's some there's like a weird spell in 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:14.160 that damn document. Then once you sign it, everything goes bad. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.360 There's relationships that lasts for like the longest time while 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.840 they're together as a couple. Once they get married, things 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.680 change and I would love to have the wedding, my 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.760 wedding dress, wedding cake, everything. I just don't want us 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:28.560 to sign that document. And if you and I are 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.240 together and we have the rings, we we go through 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.440 the whole thing. Why why does that document solidify what 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:39.080 we feel for each other? I don't know. That's just me, 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.360 but knowing that you are in a you know, official 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.200 relationship and you're happy and you're proud to that you 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:48.480 have evolved into this great man, has she done an 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:53.640 toxic to you? It's okay. Let me know she hasn't 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.160 done anything. I would say, toxic toxic. We have had 0:15:56.720 --> 0:16:00.280 UM a couple maybe like jealous moments and it's and 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.560 and like we kind of talked about UM, you know 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.640 on my episode of this show. UM. A lot of 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.800 it I have to take blame for because it was 0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:10.600 like I wasn't present to our relationship. And not that 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.240 I was out there hanging around other women or anything 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:15.760 like that, but I wasn't doing a good job of 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.720 separating work from my personal life. I was allowing myself 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:20.720 to be distant, to be caught up in in like 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.000 bullshit that I was doing at work, and like you know, 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:24.960 the stress of it all. And I wasn't showing up 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:26.920 for my partner to make her feel like I was 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.320 like truly invested in what we were doing, you know, 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.880 so she didn't feel attached to me, and I kind 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:33.920 of you know, created that environment where she wasn't really 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:35.920 a part of my day to day activities. Just I 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.680 was so caught up in everything. I know, how mature 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.440 you are and how mature you talk, because it just 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.960 shows a lot of growth. You know that that you're 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.080 learning with the experience, you learned with time, and once 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.800 you start realizing what really matters you just start to 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:50.160 get in that space, but maybe not her. But have 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.640 you had any girl do anything super toxic to you? 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.240 Have I had a girl do anything? I mean, I 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.600 definitely think I got cheated on for sure, like once 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:00.440 or twice when I think about it, I haven't been 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:04.040 able to prove it, but yeah, I definitely, like, you know, 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.200 saw some weird Instagram comments that seemed a little bit 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:11.480 too flirty. Um, you know, maybe some phone calls that 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.719 weren't answered during certain times that they should have been. Um, 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.560 you know, for for sure. From like I mean, this 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:19.080 one girl, I would say she was probably the most 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:21.080 toxic girl that I made my my girlfriend. I think 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.320 at the end of the day, she saw the whole 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.560 DJ aspect of everything and then thought that she had 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.720 like a free ride to kind of you know, sit 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:30.480 around and not do much, you know. And she even 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:33.359 moved in with me and and was living with me 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.879 for a little while, and and to her it was 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:37.520 just like she was cool with just kind of laying 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:39.639 around all day and like as long as she cleaned 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.840 the house. She thought that that was like, you know, uh, 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:46.000 showing up equally in our relationship back in the days, 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:48.600 and some girls still have that mentality of like, you 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:58.639 know whatever, this was a girl that just had that 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:00.200 didn't want to do anything. She just want to be 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.040 a trophy wife. So that was you know what I'm saying, 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.320 Like there's a difference between I think, you know, the 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.119 idea of like a woman wanting to take care of 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:07.680 you and those things, and I appreciate all that and 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.320 I love that, but at the same time, there are 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.080 certain women who just want to be a trophy wife 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:13.840 that gets to sit up there on the pedestal all 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.280 day long and to talk to a man that either 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:20.040 has one or really enjoys just having a trophy wife. 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:22.399 I just want you to be home, clean the house, 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:24.760 be pretty, go to the gym all day, and when 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.600 I want to stick it to you, you're always available 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:30.080 for me. Basically, don't say anything, don't have really much 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.320 of an opinion, and I'm just gonna give you any 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:34.639 You're gonna be hearing it. Yeah, Like you know, I 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:38.520 don't know where are these men at and seeing theory 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:40.520 it was nice Like the first couple of months, it 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:43.160 was like cool, like I got I got this girl 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.320 that like I'm you know, super attracted to that is 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.400 just there waiting on my on me. Basically, she just wants, 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:50.320 you know, she wants to hear about my day. I 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:52.320 get you know, we we fun. We do that and 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:53.920 we and you know, my meals are cooked and my 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:56.280 laundry is done. That was great, but eventually, like a 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.000 month two months in, it got boring because it was like, yo, 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:01.879 like your life volves around me, Like you have nothing 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.600 to add to the conversation that doesn't have to do 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.000 with me, you know what I'm saying. So from like 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:08.679 that would definitely, you know, with something younger that I learned, like, Okay, 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.280 this is not the type of relationship that I want 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.760 from me. The thing that sex is Margo j ah, 0:19:15.800 --> 0:19:18.840 you know, like that with someone that has toxic traits 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.080 or with somebody that's go, babe, I don't care if 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:24.480 you go out, you know, come whatever you want. You know, 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:28.439 don't like somebody, don't argue, no holding, no, no, I 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.520 don't know. Okay, I want to know how you feel personally. 0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:37.320 I like a little toxicity. Most of the toxic toxicity. 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:40.960 I absolutely do like it. I like it a little 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:44.440 bit with be a little bit just like, oh who's that? 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:45.639 It makes you feel like, oh my god, maybe you 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:49.200 care about me. Yes, I'm not going anywhere a little bit. 0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:52.159 Don't go crazy, you know. I like a little bit 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:53.800 man that puts a little pressure on me, and it 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.200 makes me feel like, oh my god, you want your 0:19:55.200 --> 0:20:01.520