WEBVTT - The Plastic Bag Theory: Why Dating That “Easy Going” Guy Is Complicated 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:13.480 Hey there, everybody. It is Saturday, April fourth, and there 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.560 is a new theory out there that might explain a 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.239 lot for women who are confused because yes, we all 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.319 say we want to be with someone easy going, but 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:28.720 according to the plastic bag theory, we actually don't. 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.240 And with that everyone, welcome to Amy and TJ. 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.720 Who said that's what women want. What'd you say? They said? 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:35.480 Someone easy going? 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:37.519 I think we all think a lot of times as 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:39.600 women that we just want a guy to just go 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:42.199 with the flow, easy going, non confrontational. 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.559 Does that sound good? I mean, as we sit here now, 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:48.000 like women listening right now, does that it sounds pleasant? 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:49.560 Does it sounds peaceful. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.080 In theory, yes, And I think they say, especially women 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:56.240 maybe who have come out of a previous relationship with 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:01.000 something that felt toxic or exhausting or combative, and so 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:05.400 they just want a guy who's like, yes, dear, yes. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:08.200 Dear, yes, dear, So beyond a chill demeanor. It's one 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.280 thing somebody could just be a little more laid back, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.520 but it's beyond that. It's someone who is not going 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:17.040 to confront a yes man. Yes, Okay, that sounds bad. 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:20.839 Though exactly, but this is what women if you ask 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:23.479 them what they want, a lot of folks, a lot 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:25.720 of women might just say, I want somebody who's just 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:29.160 easy going, who's a go with the flow kind of guy. 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.640 Okay, th will sound great. What I'm saying this sounds 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.839 like it puts it in a different category, easy going, 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:37.360 go with the flow versus we'll do what I want 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:38.600 and won't put up resistance. 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:40.840 Part of yes, part of the example. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.360 So here is what the This is how a plastic 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:46.839 bag man is described. 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:47.639 That sounds awful. 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:49.000 I know it does sound awful. 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:50.720 Plastic bag came up. 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:55.640 With this term that's basically doing like bananas on social media. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.480 Everyone's talking always Okay, some man came up with a 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:01.040 theory for what women want. We should stop the episode. 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:05.480 Now, yes, this is a guy on social media. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.040 He has brought this back to light and now several 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.080 news articles have been written about it because it's. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.120 All over social media. 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:16.440 But they're talking about basically low maintenance men who don't 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:19.760 This is how it's described. They don't initiate or plan anything. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.720 They go with the flow, wait for the partner to 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:26.640 make all the plans in the relationship. They don't argue 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.240 or overreact, go along with whatever you want. 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.600 But here's the deal. This is what. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:35.720 Was described, not my words, someone else, is that a 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:40.000 plastic bag man has the spine of a flaccid plastic 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:43.200 bag just going down the river has. 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.520 The spine of I hear you say that, right, yeah, okay, 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.640 I want to go through your list again. Low maintenance. 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.480 That doesn't sound bad, right, not at all? Do you say, 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.960 don't plan ahead, don't plan anything? Wait? Right? 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:57.920 So from where we're eating tonight, what we're ordering in tonight, 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:01.440 where we're going on vacation, who we're hanging out with any. 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.560 So, all right, I'm so sorry. And folks, if you 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.360 don't know, we do these sometimes on the weekend. I 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:08.079 don't get a heads up about what these new trends are. 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:10.200 So I'm learning about it as we go and as 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:12.160 you all go along. I want to go through your list. 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.080 They describe it low maintenance was the first one. What 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:14.680 was the next thing? 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:20.520 Low maintenance. They don't initiate or plan anything, okay, all right? 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:22.160 And that was the next one. 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.960 They don't argue or overreact. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.760 Don't argue okay, okay, all right. That was the next one. 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:29.480 Goes along with whatever you want. 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:30.919 That was the last one. 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.040 Yeah, they were even giving examples like, say you are dating. Well, 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:35.640 I'll get into the red flags in a moment, but 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.640 there are some very funny red flags that I think 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:42.080 might resonate with some women, like oh wow, yeah, I've 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:44.200 been there, done that, that happened for you. 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.560 As a woman, dating low maintenance is not something that 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.120 turns you off to somebody you're dating, not at all. Okay, 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:52.080 don't initiate or plan anything. It's not the end of 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:53.560 the world, you know. You tell me then, is that 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:54.720 it's so? 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:58.280 Initially it doesn't sound bad because it sounds like, okay, 0:03:58.320 --> 0:03:59.920 well I can steer the ship I'm. 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:02.760 Okay with that doesn't overreact to things, doesn't. 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.320 Anger that's amazing. 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.560 Yeah, that's great, right, and goes along with whatever you want. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.880 It can be annoying, but it sounds good in theory. 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:13.760 Yes, it looks like at least three out of the 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.800 four things. And maybe even this doesn't sound like a bad. 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.760 Guy to date exactly. It actually kind of sounds perfect 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:20.480 for especially. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.200 Look, a lot of us women know that generally speaking, 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:25.960 a lot of us like to be in control of 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:29.200 our house, in control of the social calendar, kind of 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.520 in control of what we do and how we do it. 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:33.760 This is a lot of what women do. We nest, 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:37.240 we kind of like to be the matriarchs of our family. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.200 So yes, in that sense, if you're looking for a 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.200 man whose husband material, who you want to be with, 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.680 this seems like it would be the perfect partner, the 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:51.520 perfect mate. But here is why it doesn't work. And 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:54.440 this is when it gets really interesting, because the point 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:58.160 being that a lot of women are allured to this 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:00.320 type of man, to this type of relation and ship 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.440 for all the obvious reasons we just stated. But here 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:06.200 is why a lot of times and most of the 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:09.440 time it's being argued it doesn't work because easy going 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:14.440 actually can just be another way of saying not caring, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:19.440 like completely detached. So what could look like someone who 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.080 is easy going and passive actually is just detached and removed. 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.280 Oh, you're never going to get the connection you're looking for. 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:27.400 Oh I want to stay with that. But is it possible? 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.799 How does it describe easygoing and what and not caring? 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:31.120 Oh? 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:34.000 But can easy going just be that easy going? 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.640 They say that there are examples of men who are 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:44.279 like that, but oftentimes it's a symptom of something much deeper. 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.120 That you need to be aware of easy going and 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:49.720 could that be nonchalance is what I kind of Yes, 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:51.720 that's also going with the flow. All those things could 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.920 be described as. But it could also be described as indifference, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:55.440 which is a. 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:58.839 Cool exactly, and so that is what women don't think 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:01.120 about or and look, this could be men or women, 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.719 but in these articles it's pretty much all directed at men. 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.039 But yeah, for just not caring, for being indifferent, for 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:11.040 being detached, and that actually can be one of the 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:15.080 most isolating, lonely experiences in any relationship. So it seems 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:17.800 like it's all great on its face, but you dig 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.239 a little deeper, and there's a problem. 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:23.479 The other issue the workload. 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.680 Then, because it does become work, even if it's planning 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:29.680 vacations or planning the next meal or planning whatever you do, 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:35.720 suddenly completely falls on one person for booking every reservation, 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.479 initiating every conversation about what we're doing, where are we going? 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.839 And so they say, you've got your partner. 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:47.160 He's like a plastic bag merely drifting along merrily. Sorry, 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:51.960 not merely merrily drifting along. I started seeing a plastic 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.960 bag when the wind whips up, and it's just floating 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:59.200 and flying and just going wherever the wind takes. Yes, 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:01.760 And they're saying the other partner is because the other 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.960 person now is basically they can just sit back, relax 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:08.760 and the other person is steering the ship and directing 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:10.480 it and getting it through the tough waters, and they 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:11.120 don't feel. 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:12.880 Like they have a partner, which is exactly what you 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:14.800 just said. You want it right and you want to. 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:19.840 Control exactly Okay, But there's a difference between chill and detached, 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:23.120 having a chill partner and a detached person a partner, 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:27.120 having a easy going partner and a completely indifferent partner. 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:31.120 You end up feeling more alone in these relationships oftentimes 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.680 than you do as a team. And that's where people. 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.280 Women miss calculate, they miss judge, And if any woman 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.880 has been in a relationship like this, you will say, 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.560 oh my god. In fact, they say, give it a 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:47.400 couple of years in your marriage and all of a sudden, 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.520 this perfect person that you thought was just going to 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.760 be the easiest person to hang out with and go 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.520 through life with suddenly. 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.840 Is so you don't even know who they are. 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.000 And I think so when you don't stand for anything, 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.160 you fall for everything. You just end up losing respect, 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:05.040 You end up losing patience, and you end up really 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:07.280 actually resenting this person after you. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:08.880 Get the exact man you want it, who had all 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:12.080 the characteristics you had on your list exactly, who was 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.400 low mainance, didn't like to plan or ask anything, he 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.840 never overreacted, and he went along with everything I wanted. 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:17.560 That guy your guy. 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:21.080 Yeah, and now you're miserable and now you're unhappy. But this, 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.440 I think this is so interesting to think about because 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:27.160 I never considered this, But anyone who's out there dating, 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:31.520 anyone who's in a relationship, you might not what seemed 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:35.040 like a good thing, what seemed like the draw towards somebody, 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.560 may end up actually being the exact reason why you 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.320 shouldn't get in a relationship with someone like this. 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.719 Is I have a lot of questions. I'm not sure 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:43.960 if this is the right time for it. But is 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.520 there any suggestion that there are some women and some 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.360 personalities that do match well. 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:52.080 With this Uh, it didn't seem to suggest suggested. 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.560 This is a cautionary tale and a trap. 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.840 Not that these men are necessarily trapping women into these relationships, 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:02.320 but you almost you trapped because you think you want 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.679 something and it turns out to get that thing you want, 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.920 you actually lose so much of what you need in 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:09.720 a relationship. 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:11.839 But nobody knows what they need in a relationship, right, 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:13.480 That's why we end up with partners we end up 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.320 with because we pick the thing we want, or our 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:17.600 mom says she want it. 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.160 According to my therapist, we all are working out our 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:23.000 childhood issues with our parents with the partners we choose, 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.160 and it's all subconscious and we don't even know we're 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.240 doing it. So maybe you need to go through one 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.679 of these relationships to work some things out in your 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.520 in your previous, in your childhood so that you can 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:34.400 become a better human. 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:36.880 So what you're working out in this relationship that's from 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:37.560 your childhood. 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:39.840 Oh that's a whole other episode, babe. 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.360 Is it a race thing? Okay? 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:45.080 Now, so how about this? I love that you have questions. 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:46.240 Would you have another question for me? 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.320 I got tons of questions. There are all kinds of 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.320 notes here. Nobody suggest you swing back the other way. Right, 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:54.040 What if it's the guy who has a woman who 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.439 is low maintenance, doesn't plan anything, doesn't overreact, and gets 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.679 along with whatever you want, goes along with whatever is 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:03.520 there any suggestion, and you're deep diving into this, that 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:06.640 that works better in some way or because it is 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:09.320 those traditional roles where the guy is leading everything, they 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:13.240 could work better. Any suggestion that a guy would be 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:15.319 good with a plastic bag woman. 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.679 I don't know. You'd have to answer that. Does that 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:19.560 sound good to you? 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:25.560 I've been looking for my whole life. I'm just obviously 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:34.280 kidding Steel Cage. No, that's not the case. But I'm 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:37.439 just who wants I don't know. It's why we think 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.800 about there's some business sometimes and oftentimes bosses and managers 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:44.360 they hire people to because they want them to all 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:47.800 get along, because things seem like it's going easier. So 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:50.520 sometimes maybe for a guy or somebody in a relationship, 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.760 is it easier she just goes along with everything. This 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.400 is easier, This works, not what I need. I might 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.240 get annoyed later, but I don't know to heat his 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.800 in her own I was just wondering if there are 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:06.480 plastic bag women and maybe guys might not find the 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:07.320 same challenges. 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:08.000 That's funny. 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.960 This was not discussed in any of these articles about 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.440 this particular theory. It was related to men, but that 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.120 is an interesting thought. I don't know how many women 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.200 out there are plastic bag women. 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:21.680 And I would imagine that. 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.040 The same thing that ends up being true for women 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.720 in these types of relationships, I would think would be 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.160 see the same for men, because eventually, at a certain 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.880 point you start you start questioning, like, what. 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:34.240 Is going on in their heads? 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.120 What are they thinking about, who do they care about, 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.520 what do they care about, what motivates them? You feel 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.680 so detached and you don't know who they are, and 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:47.360 so it's hard to build a relationship with someone that 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:49.400 you would want to love and respect. 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:50.680 And they're even saying like. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.320 It's better to have somebody who stands their ground, who 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.400 has a different opinion than you. When you're in a relationship, 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:58.800 and this is a lifelong relationship that you're trying to 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.880 enter into, you want to be with someone who challenges you, 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:06.480 who who opens your mind, And eventually those are the 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.640 kinds of things that create a bond when you can 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.320 go through and learn from one another versus just one 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.160 person saying whatever. 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:16.960 Well, it doesn't this the plastic bag man theory here, 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:21.080 doesn't that to some degree go better? Along with what 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.920 we are seeing in a new and upcoming different generation 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.280 of women, who have do have more power, who do 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.960 have more say, who are encouraged to speak their mind 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.840 and to be independent. It seems like partnerships there are 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:37.360 anti partnership partnerships. People get into marriages because of what 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.160 it can do for them, not because they want to 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.800 enter into something and lose a part of who they are. 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:46.760 I'm saying, do we have a different generation of young 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:51.679 women who oftentimes are now the theory, don't compromise at all. 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.440 You don't have to compromise or change a single thing 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:57.880 of who you are, right, That's what they're being told. 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:02.560 So my question there, does this plastic bag man kind 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.040 of work with a mindset I guess we've seen. 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.319 More of I think the answer is initially yes, Okay, 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.480 they do think that might be why this is being 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:14.600 discussed now, because what you just described is absolutely true, 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.520 and women think this is what they want, they think 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.920 this is what they need because now they're in complete 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.920 control and they can handle it all. But what ends 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.880 up happening is, wait a couple of years, get into 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:28.800 that relationship, and you're going to end up with a 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.640 major problem, a much bigger problem than you would have 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.320 had had you not had someone who is equally invested. 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:36.839 Because our parents to that point that, okay, you're the 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:38.599 reason is being talked about now is because yes, a 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.640 lot of women are making it our Can you imagine 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:45.359 our parents' generation, my mom wanting a plastic bag guy. 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:50.080 No, no, of course, Yes, this is a new phenomenon 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.760 that is being talked about now because it is something 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.120 that I think a lot of women think they want 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:01.040 and think they need. So when we come, we're going 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:04.880 to tell you the red flags that would indicate you 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:08.839 might be with a plastic man and what you can 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:09.360 do about it. 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.720 All right, we continue here on this plastic man version 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:24.880 of Amy and TJ. If y'all didn't catch that, it's 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.520 not like a bunch of Ken dolls out there, it's 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:28.560 not what we're talking about. 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.120 You're like, babe, you just said plastic man instead of 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:35.760 plastic bag man. My apologies. Was not trying to imply 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.080 that you all are Ken dolls. But actually maybe that 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.240 is a little bit of what they're employed. It's a 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.200 plastic bag man. 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:43.480 But if you say a plastic woman, you would have 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:45.720 conjured up a different image. 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:50.240 Yes I won't, Yes, that's another episode, but here are 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:54.840 the red flags that you might have a plastic bag man? 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:58.400 Does your guy never take initiative? 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:00.840 Never take initiative? Huh okay. 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:04.560 And I will tell you that I have said this 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.360 to you plenty of times, and I think I've said 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:10.160 this on different episodes of our podcast. Definitely talking about 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.320 it with my mom last week when we saw her. 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:14.640 It's one of the sexiest things about you. 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:18.280 You are a leader, You take initiative, you do steer 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:22.080 the ship, and strong men are out there. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:23.280 I know, but. 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:31.240 This has been a an eye opening relationship for me 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.720 with you because you are the opposite of a plastic 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:34.160 bag man. 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.200 I will say, which would be what what's the label? 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.160 What cute label does social media have for the opposite 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:44.880 of a plastic bag man? I'm trying to fresh direct 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:46.840 bag full of groceries man. 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:51.480 Yes, you're a I don't know, it's someone who what's 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:52.400 what would I how. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:53.360 Would I describe that? 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.520 No idea? A guy who's not just floating in the 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.240 wind and going with it what? I don't know? The 0:15:58.560 --> 0:15:59.440 opposite of that. 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.560 You're a steel rod man, but maybe somewhere on that 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.760 level where you've got a strong spine and you can 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:07.960 handle tough situations. 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.080 The name I don't think we should go with that though, 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.680 add too much in window in the title. 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:15.720 All Right, maybe we'll come up with it. We'll do 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:17.160 another episode on it, because. 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:22.000 I think I've just now spawned off three separate episodes 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:25.240 from this one conversation the other red flags that are 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.840 out there. He subtly forces you, and it's like a 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:33.360 passive aggressive way to carry the mental load of deciding, 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:37.080 planning and caring about everything. 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.200 Wait a minute, he suddenly was subtly. 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:43.400 Subtly, he's like passively saying like and sometimes it can 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:48.720 be as easy as as easy as agreeing, like hey, 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.280 you know, would you be willing to go for a weekend? 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.480 Like can we do a weekend getaway? And you say sure? 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.720 And then you never once ask a follow up, never 0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:59.440 book anything, never say where do. 0:16:59.360 --> 0:16:59.840 You want to go? 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.920 Just the trip never gets booked unless you the woman 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.320 starts nagging about it. Hey, you said you wanted to go. 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:09.560 But just basically it's like eh, meh about everything. So 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.920 if you're realizing, wow, I am the only one who 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:16.560 tries to get us out places or going out to 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.280 meet friends or creating a vacation, or if you just 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:22.320 realize and there is a mental load to that that 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.080 starts to weigh on a person. And they're saying that 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.680 easygoing can easily cross over to a voidance. Here's another 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:33.080 red flag. He doesn't have his own opinions. It's whatever 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.760 you say he agrees with. And they were even pointing 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.720 out and this one really struck a nerve with me. 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:42.240 Imagine somebody you are dating who says, oh, I hate 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.399 the city or I would never move here. Suddenly you 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.320 get a job in that city and they're happy to go. 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:51.480 It's just like, wait, what so kind of uncompromising. It 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:56.359 sounds flexible, it sounds wonderful, but at a certain point 0:17:56.440 --> 0:18:01.680 it starts to just get strange because that's not something 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:03.840 that's attractive to be with someone who doesn't have their 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.280 own opinions, even if they're different than yours. They're like, 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.399 it's better if someone actually says no, here's why I 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.840 think it's this way, and even if you disagree with them, 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:15.600 at least you're having a healthy conversation and a healthy interaction. 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.560 Stents aren't a lot of people. Women will be relieved 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.840 to not have to fight with their partner over where 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:24.480 they should move or when they should move in big decisions. 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:26.800 Like that being me. Doesn't that sound Some women might 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.080 be listening now and say, wow, that sounds like a dream. 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:32.639 And that's why this whole theory is out there, because yes, 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:36.800 it does sound great, it does seem wonderful, but in actuality, 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.119 keep going on, that's not it is not. So. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.399 Yes, they say, you want. 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:45.199 Someone who has thoughts of their own, like, think about that. 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:49.000 You're not there to dat a reflection of yourself. I mean, 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:52.480 I know some people might think that sounds great, but 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:55.280 truly that doesn't lead to a happy relationship and it 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:56.400 doesn't lead to a happy life. 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:58.240 So you want someone who has thoughts of his own. 0:18:58.400 --> 0:18:59.400 That had to be opposites. 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:01.840 Yes, independent, exactly. 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:04.680 This is how it was, but not in an uncompromising way, 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.879 but in a grounded, I have a backbone way. I 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:11.400 wonder how many men out there are now raised around 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:16.840 seeing these women who are powerful, strong, financially independent, and think, well, 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:18.440 if I want to keep a woman, or I want 0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:19.800 to I want to get a woman, I want to 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:23.399 keep a woman, I should probably just say what she 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.280 says and agree with her and then it'll all be good. 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.359 I wonder if, on one hand, we're raising women like 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:33.440 this and that's leading to men making choices to act 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:34.200 much differently. 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:35.800 Perhaps in their fathers and their grandfathers. 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.000 They still tell that joke at weddings that toasts where 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:41.679 some idiot always gets up. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:46.359