WEBVTT - Breaking Family Cycles with Matthew McConaughey 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.720 Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:06.080 Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.239 Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.360 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.520 on Apple Podcast. On this Red Table Talk. We've got 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:20.480 a superstar coming to the table. I'm so excited. His 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:25.279 name is Matthew mcconna. Hey. His life defining stories. When 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.600 I first threatened to run away from home, my parents 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:31.520 packed my bags for me, His parents volatile relationship. Dad 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:34.360 flipped the dining room table into the ceiling, got up 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:37.120 and began to stalk Mom. I really want to know 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:41.440 how you were able to break these cycle, his fairy 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.560 tale romance, What it was about her that you knew 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:49.280 that she was the one? And that's a love story 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:53.440 from all Man and an RTT exclusive. I was not 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:55.560 able to talk to her as my mom for about 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:58.800 eight years. The woman who raised him, Matthew's mother, her 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:01.360 husband died. Making up to me, I worked him out 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.759 a big boy Where you are plus a surprise reunion 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:17.240 thirty years in the making. Alright, r t T fan, 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.920 We've got a superstar coming to the table. His name 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:30.759 is Mston McConn. I'm excited about that. He's a husband, 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:35.119 a father, an Oscar winner, and now he can add 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:39.920 best selling author to his list of accomplishments. Two and 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.520 a half years ago, Matthew went into what he calls 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:46.080 solitary confinement in the desert and he spent weeks alone 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:51.360 without electricity, sifting through thirty six years of personal journals 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.000 to write his new book. He calls it a love 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:58.320 letter to life, and I gotta say it is one 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.720 of those books that is full of gems and a 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:08.360 lot of revelations. Matthew, what's happened in their best selling 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:13.840 author right that? Now you're like on the top of 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.600 every list. It was great. It's just good of a 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:19.600 reception as I could have hoped. Yeah, we were talking 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:23.519 about your book as a family. An idea that really 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:28.680 sparked for us was breaking familial cycles, cycles that need 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.519 to be broken. I mean it's taken me for what 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:38.240 twenty years, you know, like kind of break my own 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:42.600 familial cycles, you know, within my family, within my relationship. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:46.680 I disagree with that though with me. Yeah, sorry, Matthew, 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:50.000 about to have a family moment here real quickly. And 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:54.720 what we're um certainly, and how you've raised your children. Yeah, 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:58.680 I definitely was able to break that cycle. Ignot rociate 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:02.239 on on the Yeah, on the cycle breakers and you've 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:05.560 created because that was a huge, you know, difference, because 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.760 I raised you the way Mommy raised me, but you 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:14.520 did something totally different. But it did and was learning 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.680 while you were doing it. Back to you, Matthew, and 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:21.800 I'm taking notes of it and writing things down. I 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:27.640 really want to know how you were able to break 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.200 those cycles, because from what I understand, your parents had 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:36.119 a really intense relationship, the way that they loved each other. 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:42.160 Matthew's parents were locked in a volatile, sometimes physically violent relationship. 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.680 His book green Lights starts with an incident between mom 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.560 and dad in their kitchen. Sure you want more potatoes, 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:55.200 fat man, she barked, look at you, fat billion years. Sure, 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:59.160 eat up, fat man, she yapped, as she scraped overwhelming 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:02.680 amounts of mat potatoes on his plate. That was it. 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.200 Dad flipped the dining room table into the ceiling, got 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.120 up and began to stalk Mom. She ran to the 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.280 wall mounted telephone on the other side of the kitchen 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.120 to call nine one one. As he closed in, Mom 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.800 grabbed the handheld into the phone off the wall mountain 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:22.240 raked it across his brow. Dad's nose was broken. Blood 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.720 was everywhere. Mom then ran to the cabin and pulled 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.720 out a twelve inch chef's knife, then squared off at him. 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.719 Come on, batman, I'll cut you from your nuts to 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:35.520 your gulliver. A little five year old Matthew hit behind 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.440 the couch and sphere. Seconds later, they moved towards each 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.279 other and met in an animal embrace. They dropped to 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:45.080 their knees, then to the bloody catchup cover linolean kitchen 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:51.960 floor and made love. A red light turned green. M 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.719 it sounds like to me that you wanted to do 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:01.159 the your relationship with your wife a bit differently. Let 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:05.680 me stop by saying this. I maintained much more then 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:10.640 I broke the chain of how my parents. I have 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:16.160 different means with which I communicate with my wife and 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:18.400 my mom and dad did the way my mom and 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:22.120 dad communicated. I always tell stories of sort of discipline 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:24.960 or even fights that my parents had as my greatest 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:26.880 love stories in our family. I think the reason I 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:31.080 do that is that those were the times where the 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:33.120 the love and our family where it seems like it 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.200 was being challenged the most and it might break, but 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.680 it never had a chance. You know, my mom and dad, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:43.320 we had a very passionate relationship. Twice divorced, thrice married, 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.480 well once again the loved one. If the love would 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:50.040 want it would have been twice married, thrice divorced. The 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.880 love ended up winning three. A lot of times it 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:54.960 was like I love you, I just don't like you 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:59.120 right now. The love was never in question. My mom, 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:02.400 to this day, who's eighty eight, with her middle finger 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:05.160 that goes won't, won't, won't, won't won't because it's been 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:07.960 broken four times, because she's banged my dad in the 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:12.000 head until he'd go didn't stop it. She picked those fights, 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.080 and she to this day would say, that's what I 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:20.480 needed to communicate, That's what I needed to communicate. Now 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:22.880 I go, well, I'm bad. I don't need that. Glad 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.280 my wife doesn't need that. But hey, that's how y'all roll. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.560 My mom and dad, their relationship was like hurricane in 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:32.400 the Pacific. I'll take a river with a few rapids. 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.120 My threshold for like well and I catched myself is 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.240 if I even raised my voice in our household, I 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.040 immediately have alarmed that goes off and says, all right, mccannae, 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:47.480 what did you not handle getting to this point that 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:49.279 you had to raise your for your father? And I 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.120 would like that too. We were very conscious of not 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.320 raising our voices. I would always try you were upset 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:03.520 because you got real quiet, Yes exactly, it would just 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.720 get real quiet, and I'd be like, Okay, they're really 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.960 getting into it now. Yeah. So it's so funny Matthew 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:16.000 that you use your voice be your barometer. Yeah, the 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.960 tone of it. Yeah, I've got a pretty quick threshold 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:21.440 for that, and I'm not perfect at it, but I 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:24.200 do at least start doing inventory very quickly if I 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:27.440 get to where maybe my remark will be sharp, right, 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:32.200 you know, and I'll go okay, um, all right, mr cool, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.240 what do we've not handled getting to this point where 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.120 we had to get? You know? The other thing is 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:39.920 I have different means with which I am still the 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:44.240 same values and my children then my parents did in me. 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.360 They were from a different era too. It was the 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:49.200 era of if you're a kid, and you asked why 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:52.880 it was because I said so exactly. Yeah, we're not 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.760 talking about this. This is not up for discussion. Because 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:59.240 I'm your parent, I said so the end. And in 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:02.120 our family, you didn't get grounded if you've got in 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:04.600 trouble because, as my mom always said, that would be 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:06.920 taking your time away from you in time as your 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.160 removed valuable asset. It's a binge your bat over. I'm 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:13.040 gonna whoop your butt. Matthew's parents believed in teaching their 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:17.400 kids lessons with tough love and an occasional whooping. I 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.520 got whipped unto my butt bled for putting on a 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.600 cracker Jack tattoo when I was ten years old. When 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:24.920 I first threatened to run away from home, my parents 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.240 packed my bags for me. I learned to swim when 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.000 my mom threw me in the Lanto River and I 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.480 was either going to float off the rocky waterfall thirty 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.760 yards downstream or make it back to the bank. I 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:39.000 made it to the bank. There was nothing fictitious about 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:43.000 the love, though the love was real, bloody sometimes, but 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:47.760 never in question. I never got injured, but I do 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.920 remember the values that were instilled in me from the 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.360 butt whoopen. I got my first one for not answering 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:55.679 to my name. I got my second one for saying 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.520 the word I can't instead of saying I'm having trouble. 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.640 I got my third butt whooping for lying and my 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.560 fourth for saying I hate you to my brother. So 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.040 what I remember is that those four times I got 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.720 in trouble, I earned it, and the reasons I got 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:13.840 in trouble were answer to your name. Love. Don't hate, 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.840 have trouble doing something? But does say can't tell the truth, 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:18.880 don't lie. I'll even go so far as to say this. 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:20.680 I remember one night I got in trouble from my 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:24.800 dad for lying. And all your kids out there. If 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:26.360 you get home and you one of your parents is 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:28.320 on the phone awake when they would be asleep, and 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:32.000 they asked you, did you steal pizza tonight? It means 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:37.360 they know you did, But I said no, I don't think. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.880 So he gave me two chance, pree chance, the fourth chance, 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:47.120 and I lied again. I got it back in. What 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.319 I remember that is the tears in my dad's eyes 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.719 because he was broken hearted that his dog one son 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:55.079 couldn't tell him the truth. It wasn't about the stolen pizza, 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.920 was about you lied to me son. That broke his heart, 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.520 hurt him a whole more than that back end hurt 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.800 me like he would wouldn't being a good enough dad 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:05.920 if you had taught me where I couldn't. Son, can't 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:09.000 even tell me the damn truth about stealing the damn pizza. No, 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.520 when I was disrespecting him. What he was trying to 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:19.240 teach you is that and you're disrespecting yourself. Yeah, that 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:21.560 was one of the rules in our house with the kids. 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:26.920 It was like, you tell me you're not go get 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:30.320 in trouble, but if you lie to me, it's gonna 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:31.880 be hell to pay. I had a couple. I had 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:35.880 a couple of hell to pays. I tried it. Yeah, 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:40.120 you did. Try me. I tried. I tried both of everybody. 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:43.080 I was the tryer. You're are you a scorpio, Matthew 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:47.920 Am So this is okay the scorpios that I know, 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.320 all right, you seem very chill. You seem like you 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.680 seem like super chill. You're not. You're not a try 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:55.560 or you know what I mean. But me, I was 0:10:55.880 --> 0:11:01.480 trying my parents every chance that I got. Well, yeah, yea, 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:08.199 your scorpio as well. I mean, look, my thing is 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:11.040 scorpios always equated to the incredible hull. Remember that show, 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.640 you know, Messed With Bill Bixby. One time he says, no, 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:16.520 thank you, I don't want to fight messed with him. 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:18.240 Two times I says please, I said I don't want 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.000 to fight messed with him. The third time he turns 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.280 green and doesn't just get even, he gets way ahead. 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.800 Yeah that's a scorpio. That's a scorpio for you. Yeah. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:32.120 I go about sort of teaching my children differently. I 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:37.079 do have longer conversations with my children about things and why, um, 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.600 you know how that goes. Sometimes that suns rising the 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:44.360 next day you're like, are we still here? Sometimes to 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.040 get to that point, you know what, just because I 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.160 said so, that's it, and I can get out lasted. 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:51.520 At times they were like, we wish we wouldn't have 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:55.400 made them ask why so much? There there's too many questions. 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.360 There many questions. And I also was very clear for 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.840 any time I got in trouble, I was like, yep, guilty. 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:04.440 I never judged my parents for how they treat each other, 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:07.720 how they raised us. Yeah, that is really that's really 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.920 interesting because so many of us will judge our parents, 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.600 so many of us will blame our parents for you know, 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:17.720 if you hadn't done that, maybe I wouldn't be as 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:21.840 crazy as if I chose not to say, oh, I 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:25.880 was victimized better situation. I do not deny that situation 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.040 that I may have been in, but it's up to 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.600 me to choose if from victim mind right now, that's 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:35.720 real talk, it really is. You know, like if people like, well, 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.120 you were in a violent home with your mom and dad, 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.480 you should feel this way and and you know you 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.560 should talk about it this way and blah blah blah, 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:47.480 and it's like, yeah, I don't think that's the world's 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.280 right to put that on us. So is it possible 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.319 we can bring your mom out? The woman that they 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:58.240 call k mac mac has been over in the wings. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:02.160 Here come hot and feisty, and may scoot me out 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:05.360 of the frank. Though Matthew and his mother had difficulties 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.000 at times, like a good old Southern boy and a 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:12.080 great son, he never lost admiration for his mother. She's 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.199 a true baller. She's beat two types of cancer on 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.200 nothing more than ashburn and denial. She's a woman that says, 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.600 I'm gunna before she can, I would before she could, 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.640 and I'll be there before she's invited. She's eighty eight 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.880 now and seldom do I go to bed after her 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:34.880 or wake up before her. Come on, girls, some young 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:40.560 lookod now which one's which? Come on, that's my mother? 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:45.680 Where is my daughter? Uh? Huh? And that's my mommy 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.880 and I'm her mommy. Okay, So you've got three generations. 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:52.080 We got three generations. So you've been quarantined and with 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.200 the family. How has that been going. You've been with 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:58.520 Matthew and the whole gang the last seven months? Well, 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:02.080 it's been it's been really really lovely. I'm enduring so 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:06.000 much being around my grandchildren, and I'm very, very comfortable 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.680 with them. They're very Matthew is a very good son. 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.000 I tell him that all the time. He's good to me. 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:17.720 Matthew was really easy to raise. I mean he really was. 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:20.560 He would listen to me and sometimes he wouldn't want 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.640 to discuss it with me, you know, and that only 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.800 went so far because he's good at trying you to 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.680 change your mind, you know what I mean, He works 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:34.080 at it. Yes, Hey, I'm gonna give myself some credit 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:43.760 raising him, right, So credit. How are you different as 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.800 a grandmother than you were as a mother, because I 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.120 know I was different, No, no different. I think those 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.640 grandchildren the same as I did my kids. You know, 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.520 they have they have respect for me and don't smart 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.280 off to me. Now that the older to have, But 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:03.560 the younger one did and it didn't turn out where 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.400 you know what, the miss came back. Let me tell 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.800 you this one. My mother was the same way. She 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.640 doesn't let me have it many times. She didn't play 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:20.840 with her grandkids either, So I completely yes, I wouldn't 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.400 say get away with things with me. You know, they 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:27.400 can't play one against the other. Whatever their parents say, 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:31.320 that's what they're gonna do. I mean, I I have 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.720 I respect their parents for raising them the way they do, 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:39.440 and I don't spoil them at all. When my mother 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:44.200 became a grandmother and she came around and really helped 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:49.760 me with the kids, any unresolved issues or pain that 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:55.240 was between us really got healed in me being able 0:15:55.360 --> 0:16:00.320 to watch my mother as a grandmother. Because she was 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:04.280 a young mom, so she had me at seventeen and 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:09.880 she had some drug abuse issues probably my entire child 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.920 for my entire childhood, so I didn't really get a mother, 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:18.120 but I got to see her as a mother to 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:22.080 me as an adult and as a grandmother, right, It 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:27.840 really created this beautiful healing component between us. You and 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:29.920 I had had a rough passion about eight years right 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.920 after I got famous, but we healed that up back 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:36.480 in two thousand and four. As soon as I got famous, 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:40.960 after Time to Kill, I started to having my weekly 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:44.560 Sunday call home to call my mother, get car be Sunday. 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:49.080 Mother wasn't answering the phone. A fan of my fame 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.360 was answering the phone. I was trying to find my 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.560 own balance with with fame and stuff. And I would 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:57.640 share things with her, and you know, to whatever amount 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:00.760 of innocence it was, I can now come, we can 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.320 now completely laugh at it. But some of those things 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:06.400 I would share might show up in the six o'clock 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:11.400 news three days later. Um, for instance, hard copy. I'ming 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.280 home at my beach house. Uh, and I got a 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:15.879 buddy calls me and goes, hey, are you watching this? 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.000 Because watching what he does? Put it on channel four 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.880 whatever it was. And here's a camera going through our bedroom. 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.640 Mom's leading the camera gonna and there's the bed where 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.680 I caught him with Michelle. You know, I think we'll 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:30.040 be able because he didn't last over here's the bathroom, 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.720 and of course I walked in him on there and 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.000 caught him doing you know what before as well. But 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:37.840 don't worry about snow, big deal, and I'm going, holy mom, 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.240 I call her up. Of course she's watching it too, 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:42.760 so she picks up the phone and I hear the 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.240 same damn show in the background, like, what are you 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.360 talking about? What do you mean? What am I talking about? 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:49.560 I'm watching the same damn thing you are. You've got 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.399 a hard copy, you know, in my bedroom. She goes like, oh, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:57.880 that got that, and she goes, I didn't think you'd 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:04.800 find out. I didn't know. So there was years there 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:08.439 where I would not share things with her because I was, 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:10.920 you know, again, finding my own balance, building my own ship. 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.800 And I was like, look, my loose lips will sink ships. 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:14.960 There are a lot of people that would like to 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.399 know these things that it's none of their business. I 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:19.320 was not able to talk to her as my mom 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.040 for about eight years, and then I got my career 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.680 stabilized enough, my boat was built well enough where I 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:27.119 didn't feel like she could sink it, and then I 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.679 just took the reins off and said, Mom, hit that 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:31.480 red carpet. Talk to all of them, Tell them all 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.359 those stories you want, and she's been great about it 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:37.159 ever since. So that's beautiful. You know, it's such a trip, Matthew, 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:38.879 because I know I had to tell my mom. I 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:42.479 was like stot Would all asking everybody for pictures. I know, 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:47.280 she like Listen Will's family, they get to take pictures 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.159 with whoever, they whoever they want to take pictures with. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:53.520 But this one right here was like, don't you dad, 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:58.600 don't you dad as anybody for a picture. Yeah, I 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:02.919 have no pictures because at the time, I was just like, 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.720 you know, people want their times, right, and I didn't 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:09.680 understand that. I definitely understand it. Though, I definitely understand. 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:11.600 It doesn't mean I don't want the pictures, but I 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:17.120 do understand. Yeah, I was enduring his fame more than 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:22.560 he was. I guess, yeah, absolutely, you know, aren't we proud, Yeah, 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:26.760 we're proud, but we also don't understand that it's such 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:30.639 hard work for them. And then just being like on 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.160 in the spotlight all the time. I have to agree 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.960 with you, k that I enjoyed her spotlight way more 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.359 than I did. Yeah, And I was like, you're not 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:43.959 going to this event like that? Why you could be one? 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.120 You could be doing still like that that we need 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:51.560 to go ahead, like you cant the carpet. Come on, 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:56.000 let's go. You got Mike, We'll hook up and go 0:19:56.040 --> 0:20:00.360 on the red carpet together, Miss kay. Can we talk 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:07.120 about the three times to man? Yeah, please explain that 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:11.040 I've been married four times, but four different men. She's 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:15.280 been married to the same man. Oh lord, that'd be 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:20.560 a hard adjustment at least getting into his mother, let 0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:23.879 his father boss her around, tell her what to do, 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:27.520 how to vote. Uh no, it was awful, and he 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:30.880 wanted me to be that way. And I'm a Yankee. 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:36.000 I'm from Jersey and uh he's he's from this New Orleans. 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:38.639 And it was just too much for me. And so 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:42.480 when he started trying to change me, um, I got 0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:45.639 mad and I left. Then the next time was the 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:49.680 same thing. We did have a spirited married Jess. But 0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.600 the third time we got married, it was when we 0:20:52.640 --> 0:21:03.640 had Matthew. We would fight. It doesn't go up, army. 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:06.160 You don't have to good up years, you know, And 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:10.000 so I would do that. Yes, I I was pretty feightty, yes, 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:12.400 but you know, one I have to say that there 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:14.359 had to have been a lot of love between the 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:19.280 two of you too, have gone through those breakups coming 0:21:19.280 --> 0:21:22.560 back together to get married three because, let me tell you, 0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:25.040 gave me over here was like, if I'm gonna get 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:29.200 divorce and find me a new one. I never really 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:32.439 had the desire to go back to a husband that 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:36.560 I had divorced. Yeah, well, I have to say that 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:38.960 I never stopped loving him. No and so and you 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.199 don't only died, don't you. My husband died making up 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:46.160 to me, right. And I remember saying, you know when 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:48.160 you when he fell back, I said, worked him out, 0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:52.000 a big boy, I wear you out. And here's no response, 0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:55.080 no response, and I'm thinking, oh my god, something's wrong. 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:57.640 So I run across the street to my dry brew 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:01.040 and my neighbor, and I said, something's wrong. Something's wrong. 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.160 I don't know what it is. And I had no 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.080 idea that it was too much. It's hard to stop. 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:09.119 You know. We had a party for him, kind of 0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:13.760 a celebration of his life. Yeah, and I said, hey, well, 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.520 I'm telling you how he talks to my own son, 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:19.240 but to some a bitches, I can give ten years 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:23.120 your life to go the way my pop did. I 0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:25.960 just love you. I think you're a joy. I just 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:28.880 want to have your spunk and your and your everything, 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:32.200 your fire. Well, you girls are all beautiful, my gosh, 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:38.320 and you don't age mom. Thank you. I've been hearing 0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:41.000 that all my life. I told her, she gave me 0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:44.960 some of that. You've got good genes. You're fine, I hope, so, 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:52.199 I hope. So bye, thank you, thank you. I love her. 0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:57.680 She's Fantasticory, I got a couple of words in there. 0:22:58.400 --> 0:23:00.720 You did get a couple of words in them, Matthew 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:03.880 parlaid on the back end of that beautiful freight chain. Yes, 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:08.320 now you were raised with brothers. But now so you 0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:12.040 have two boys and and a daughter. How is it 0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:16.080 different raising your daughter than it is raising your Son's 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:18.800 good question? And I'm still finding that out. Mind your mind. 0:23:18.840 --> 0:23:22.200 Her twelve in and seven, so we haven't hit those 0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:30.920 wonderful teen years. Good look, Matthew. From me, bro, there 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:32.679 is a different I mean, I'm still learning the different 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:37.400 ways of having a daughter is having sons. My daughter's ten. 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:41.840 But she has a way that the other that the 0:23:41.840 --> 0:23:43.560 boys don't. I don't know how much of her way 0:23:43.600 --> 0:23:46.119 or how much how much of it's just a female way. 0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:48.960 I don't have to explain. She'll get it. She'll come 0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:51.080 up to me and talk to me and put a 0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:54.200 hand on me or and on my back, or ask 0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:57.400 me a question, and she's talking to me about how 0:23:57.440 --> 0:23:59.280