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Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open with

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Speaker 1: Ashland Harris.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited to have.

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Speaker 1: Bobby Burke on the show this week.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Wide Open.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I like to introduce all my guests. So

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Speaker 1: for those who don't know.

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Speaker 2: Bobby Emmy, a winning TV host on Queer Eye.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, design guru, the one that is in all

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Speaker 1: of our living rooms for what eight years?

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Speaker 2: Eight seasons?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was there.

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Speaker 4: Let's see where ie including the Japan season nine almost

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Speaker 4: eight years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you just always made me cry, beautiful puppy dog tears.

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Speaker 3: Good that my evil plan was worth.

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Speaker 2: But welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: How you doing, I'm good, I'm good.

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Speaker 2: How's life?

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Speaker 4: Life is great? Life is great, you know, except for

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Speaker 4: the last two hot days we had, la weather is perfect.

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Speaker 1: Well. I just yeah, people, it's always nice to see

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Speaker 1: you share space with you. You're you know, you're always

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite humans and my favorite queer date.

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Speaker 2: To every queer.

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Speaker 1: Event, we usually somehow managed to be at the same table.

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Speaker 4: I know, I know it's my favorite and I never

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Speaker 4: even ask for that because I don't like to be

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Speaker 4: that person that asks for accommodations of oh I need

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Speaker 4: to be by this person or this person. I'm just

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Speaker 4: like whatever, I can sit with anybody. But I love that,

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Speaker 4: Like the industry just knows.

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Speaker 2: They know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, let's put them together with each other. We're gonna.

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Speaker 1: We're like literally ending each other sentences. There you're never

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Speaker 1: giving getting rid of me. But yeah, so I am

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Speaker 1: so happy to have you on. You have such a

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Speaker 1: beautiful story, incredible story that, like so many of us

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Speaker 1: have been able to get to know.

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Speaker 2: You through television.

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Speaker 1: But the weird part is is we are all so

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Speaker 1: much more than what we do. So I would love

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Speaker 1: to peel some of the layers back and really start

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Speaker 1: from the beginning. You were raised in a rural area

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Speaker 1: in Missouri.

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Speaker 3: Honey, it's your shirt, say Carol.

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Speaker 2: Hell, yeah it does.

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Speaker 4: It's funny because my phone is called Carol. I have

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Speaker 4: my name in there as Carol because back in the

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Speaker 4: day when anybody can air drop you anything, Yeah, people

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Speaker 4: fans on the plane and stuff would see my phone

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Speaker 4: and I would get some of the raunchiest pictures.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I can get some way.

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Speaker 4: So I just changed the name of my phone to

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Speaker 4: Carol because no one would think we can't. Yeah, you

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Speaker 4: could change because a lot of people also just leave

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Speaker 4: it as iPhone. So when you open up to air Drop,

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Speaker 4: somebody there's like twenty iPhones and I'm like, well, that's annoying.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be that person. So I'm like,

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Speaker 3: all this changed it to Carol.

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Speaker 2: I need Carol.

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Speaker 1: I get literally dick pics on the subway in New York.

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Speaker 4: You can, but now you can change it to where

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Speaker 4: only your contacts can minds.

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Speaker 2: And I haven't touched anything since.

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Speaker 4: Literally hadn't touched when with air Drop it was just

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Speaker 4: open to anybody, and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: I get that so.

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Speaker 1: Often on I don't think I think mine's completely public then,

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Speaker 1: and it's my name.

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Speaker 2: I've never changed it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like this little queer woman, I'll change her.

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Speaker 3: I'll change her. That's a change her.

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Speaker 2: I love that this all just connected us.

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Speaker 3: To you know what.

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Speaker 1: This is my vintage shopping you know. I love a good.

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Speaker 2: You know, lesbian bowling shirt.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's that was kind of inspired when

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Speaker 4: inspired me wearing this one. It's kind of like a

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Speaker 4: she But back to.

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Speaker 2: Missouri, Missouri, what tell me everything?

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Speaker 1: How did life start for you in this small little town?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 4: You know, I I started, you know, at birth. No,

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Speaker 4: I actually started at birth in Texas. I ended up

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Speaker 4: in Missouri like three days later. But you know, I

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Speaker 4: went to a tiny, little small town. The town we

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Speaker 4: lived at the time was six hundred people and we

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Speaker 4: lived out in the country, so we didn't even live

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Speaker 4: in the city. It was such a small rural area

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Speaker 4: that we still had a party line.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what a party line is? Even you're

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Speaker 3: too young.

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Speaker 4: It's when like multiple homes share the same phone number

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Speaker 4: because there's not enough wires.

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Speaker 1: Okay, learning in real time money.

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Speaker 4: And then I went to a private Christian school through

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Speaker 4: elementary and it was like a one room like Laura

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Speaker 4: House on the Prairie esque school, like first through twelfth grade.

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Speaker 3: Was all in one room.

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Speaker 4: Wow, I was the only kid in my class my grade,

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Speaker 4: My only kid in my grade.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. It was interesting. It's it really helped

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Speaker 3: developing those people skills.

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Speaker 2: Well, clearly, no.

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Speaker 3: It didn't, honestly, because then when I was in middle.

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Speaker 4: School, I begged and pleaded my parents to send me

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Speaker 4: to public school. And I realized when I got there,

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Speaker 4: I was like a very awkward kid because I didn't

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Speaker 4: really have I didn't have anybody else my age and

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Speaker 4: elementary so I never really learned how to interact with

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Speaker 4: other kids. I think that still messes me to me

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Speaker 4: to this day, like not getting that early elementary school

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Speaker 4: development of how you interact with other humans.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: Again, there was other people in the school, but I

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Speaker 4: think I think the school had a total of maybe

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Speaker 4: like sixteen kids in it. Oh and everyone was either

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Speaker 4: quite a bit younger than me or quite a bit

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Speaker 4: older than me.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so well, of course these are formative years that

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Speaker 1: clearly shaped you. And then you end up moving, you know,

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Speaker 1: to what Denver and then to New York.

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Speaker 2: City at such an early age.

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Speaker 1: I mean that had to be like whiplash shock.

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Speaker 4: So I left home at fifteen and I went to

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Speaker 4: the big city of Springfield, Missouri.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, there we are one hundred thousand people. And

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Speaker 3: then at seventeen, one day I kind of had like.

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Speaker 4: A nervous breakdown almost I was driving a girlfriend to

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Speaker 4: work and the street we normally went down was blocked

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Speaker 4: with construction. So I like went to pull into this

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Speaker 4: hospital parking lot to like cut through to go to

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Speaker 4: another street, and like every exit in that parking lot

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Speaker 4: was blocked and I just brought my nineteen eighty four

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Speaker 4: Buick Century to a halt, and I was like, this

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Speaker 4: is my life. Every exit I try to take every

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Speaker 4: everything I try to better my life with, I just

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Speaker 4: run into roadblocks, I run into construction. And so I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I've got to get out of Missouri. Like I'm never

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Speaker 4: going to do anything with my life if I don't

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Speaker 4: get out of here. And so I called up a friend,

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Speaker 4: the only person in the world I knew outside of Missouri,

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Speaker 4: a friend of mine to this day, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I've got to get out of Missouri. And he's like, well,

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Speaker 4: come to Denver, come come live by me. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I don't have a job. I don't have a place

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Speaker 4: to live. I don't have any money. He's like, I'll

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Speaker 4: work on the place to live. You work on the

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Speaker 4: job of the money. Wow. So he calls me twenty

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Speaker 4: minutes later and he's like, my college roommate has a

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Speaker 4: spare bedroom. You can live with him until you find

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Speaker 4: a place, like okay.

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Speaker 3: And then I go to work and I was one

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Speaker 3: of my like four part time jobs.

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Speaker 4: I was at the body shop, a stockboy at the

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Speaker 4: body shop, and not like cars, but like satsum Alotion

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Speaker 4: at that body shop. And so I went into work

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Speaker 4: and I was like, you know, I need I've got

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Speaker 4: to get out of here. I've got to go to Denver,

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Speaker 4: but I need a job. And so my manager came

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Speaker 4: out like twenty minutes later, she's like, okay, so I

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Speaker 4: made some calls. You are now the assistant manager at

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Speaker 4: the body shop at the airport in Denver. And I'm like, okay, great.

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Speaker 4: So then I went home and I'm like, I still

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Speaker 4: don't have any money to move. And I looked and

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Speaker 4: I had this massive DVD collection. Don't ask how I

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Speaker 4: got it.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and I went to Hastings Music and that book

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Speaker 3: plastic book.

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Speaker 4: I went to Hasting's Music and I sold all of

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Speaker 4: them and I had made like five hundred bucks and

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Speaker 4: I used that to go runt to U haul and

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Speaker 4: within twenty four hours of having that breakdown in the

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Speaker 4: parking lot, I was in a U Haull on my

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Speaker 4: way to Denver. Because I knew if I didn't do it,

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Speaker 4: I would I'm a logical, I would talk myself out.

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Speaker 4: And so I'm like, I just I have to do

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Speaker 4: this or I'm never going to do it. And I

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Speaker 4: remember coming right as I got into Denver, coming over

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Speaker 4: the hill and seeing Denver spread out across this valley

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Speaker 4: and pulling over on the side of the road, and

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Speaker 4: again about having a breakdown, crying, going what have I done?

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Speaker 4: This is such a big city. Yeah, I'm this is

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Speaker 4: gonna eat me a lot. What was I thinking? And then,

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Speaker 4: you know, fast forward four years later, I was like,

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Speaker 4: this is such a small town. I have got to

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Speaker 4: get out of here. I've got to go to New

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Speaker 4: York City. And so that was Missouri to New York

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Speaker 4: City and then you know, I was in New York

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Speaker 4: City for twelve years and that's where I met my husband.

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Speaker 4: And we've been out here in La now for eleven years,

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Speaker 4: which is crazy. I've been out here almost as long

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Speaker 4: as I was in New York.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my little bopping around journey.

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Speaker 1: And it's it's so incredible because I think what most

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Speaker 1: people really don't know about you is you are so

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Speaker 1: self made. And it's important to be able to share

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Speaker 1: that with people who hit those roadblocks in life, who feel.

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Speaker 2: Like I have to have this traditional education.

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Speaker 1: I got to go to school, and I got to

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Speaker 1: do all these things to be successful.

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Speaker 4: I you know, while I was in New York, I

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Speaker 4: started my own company, Furniture Company Retail. I first started

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Speaker 4: online and then as that became successful, I started opening

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Speaker 4: up stores around the US New York, Miami, Atlanta, and LA.

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Speaker 4: And at one point I hired a CFO because I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I don't have a business background. And again, you think

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Speaker 4: that's what you need. Yeah, And he has an NBA

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Speaker 4: business and a good friend of mine, and I always

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Speaker 4: just kind of did what felt good, what I thought

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Speaker 4: would work, and I would come up with these ideas

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Speaker 4: and he'd be like no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: no no no what I'm like, let's.

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Speaker 3: Do it, let's try.

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Speaker 4: And one day he was like, you know, it's so

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Speaker 4: annoying me that these ideas you have that traditionally red

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Speaker 4: flags and alarms to start going off in my head

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Speaker 4: when you say these, because I have been I have

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Speaker 4: this business training, and I have this roadmap of how

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Speaker 4: you are to be a success in business, and half

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Speaker 4: the things, more than half the things you do do

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Speaker 4: not compute to that roadmap. And he's like, but I

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Speaker 4: think one of the reasons why you're successful is you

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Speaker 4: don't have those red flags and alarms going off in

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Speaker 4: your mind going through So it's how you do it.

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Speaker 3: That's not how you do it.

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Speaker 4: You just try things, and you're not afraid to try

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Speaker 4: things because you don't know what's right or wrong. You're

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Speaker 4: just like, hey, this sounds like a good idea.

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Speaker 3: Let's try it. If not, we'll pivot.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And he's like, so, I think the key to

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Speaker 4: your success is you don't have that traditional education. So

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Speaker 4: for the people out there who think, oh, I can't

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Speaker 4: be an entrepreneur, I can't do my own thing, I

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Speaker 4: can't be a success because I either couldn't afford to

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Speaker 4: go to college because our system in this country sucks,

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Speaker 4: or it just life happened and education didn't.

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Speaker 3: Don't let that stop you. You can do it. I

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Speaker 3: could do it. I'm a high school Joba.

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Speaker 1: You have a good intuition about you where you constantly

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Speaker 1: were betting on yourself, And I think that's where people

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Speaker 1: go wrong. I think we live in a culture, in

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Speaker 1: a society that we feel comparison is it. We compare

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Speaker 1: fucking compare ourselves to everything anything.

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Speaker 3: Especially people like you and I who are on a

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Speaker 3: team yeah, Like all you do is.

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Speaker 1: Compare Why are they getting that?

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Speaker 2: And I'm not in this and that?

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Speaker 1: Well, how are they? I should be better, I should

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Speaker 1: be doing more. It is exhausting, and I think we

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Speaker 1: lose the plots so often because we get caught up

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Speaker 1: and constantly comparing ourself, our life, our partner, are, where

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Speaker 1: we're at and where we're going, and we lose sight

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Speaker 1: of reality where we start to live through the lens

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Speaker 1: of something else that's.

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Speaker 2: Just not not truth.

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Speaker 4: One of the things you have to learn in life,

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Speaker 4: and it's been hard, but you have to learn in

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Speaker 4: the law of abundance, there is enough success out there

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Speaker 4: for everyone who wants it. One person's success it's like pie.

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Speaker 4: You know, one person's success doesn't mean less.

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Speaker 3: Success for you exactly. It's just it's their success. Be

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Speaker 3: happy for their success.

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Speaker 4: Put that energy out there and that good energy will

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Speaker 4: come back to you. Marginalized communities such as women, gays,

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Speaker 4: people of color, we have all been taught there's one

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Speaker 4: seat at the table, one and so we are the

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Speaker 4: least supportive people to each other because we feel like

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Speaker 4: we have to compete for that one seat. And I

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Speaker 4: think it's very important to realize like, you know, I

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Speaker 4: forget who who said this, but it was like, you

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Speaker 4: know what, nobody would give me a seat at the table.

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Speaker 3: So I made my own table. And that's what we

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Speaker 3: have to do.

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Speaker 4: Recently, there was a show I had created and many

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Speaker 4: of the characters were gay, and it was going very far.

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Speaker 4: We were in very serious talks with a streamer, and

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Speaker 4: then another gay show got announced and they freaked out

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Speaker 4: and they.

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Speaker 3: Were like, oh no, it's too similar.

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Speaker 4: And we're like, we actually not at all, like it's gay,

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Speaker 4: is not really similar, and they're like, oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: too similar. And so some of my colleagues that were

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Speaker 4: working on it with me like refuse to watch the

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Speaker 4: show that show because they're angry and not that show's

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Speaker 4: fault at all, the industry's fault. But I'm like, no,

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Speaker 4: we need to watch it. We need to support it.

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Speaker 4: Even if you don't watch, turn it on, give them

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Speaker 4: the views. Because when a gay shi se show succeeds,

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Speaker 4: we all do because studios are like, oh, that gay

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Speaker 4: show succeeded, Hey, let's green light some more. So, let's

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Speaker 4: not boycotts our communities projects because we're upset that that

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Speaker 4: project maybe picked over ours or there's not enough. Again,

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Speaker 4: there's not enough room at the table. We need to

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Speaker 4: create space for ourselves. And when our community is successful,

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Speaker 4: it breeds more success for all of us, both in

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Speaker 4: women and people of color and other marginalized communities like

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Speaker 4: gay people. And I mean, I remember, I mean to

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Speaker 4: this day, but especially when queer I first came out,

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Speaker 4: people were always like, oh, I'm sure, like the gay

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Speaker 4: community is just supporting you so much, and we're like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, no, Like our community is the one that's.

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Speaker 3: The worst to us, Like the.

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Speaker 4: Gay community did not support that show at all. They

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Speaker 4: would constantly come for us.

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Speaker 3: Like we don't need this the the and.

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Speaker 4: Again, I think it really came from a place of

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Speaker 4: I hate to use the word jealousy, but it kind

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Speaker 4: of was because they're jealous that we took that space

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Speaker 4: when they're so little, you know. But that just goes

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Speaker 4: back to the statement I made earlier, where when one

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Speaker 4: of us succeeds, it opens up more space for others

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Speaker 4: of us, more of us to succeed.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's so important to say, and I

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Speaker 1: say this often, and even my small little sports community,

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Speaker 1: it's like we have to continue standing on the shoulders

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Speaker 1: of each other and not on our necks, and it's

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Speaker 1: just the harsh reality. And the show has been so successful,

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Speaker 1: and it's really talk about acceptance and no judgment and

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Speaker 1: really learning the inner workings of something so beautiful. A

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Speaker 1: lot of people needed to see that, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of people needed some sort of understanding because there are

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Speaker 1: places like rural Missouri, some people go their whole fucking

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Speaker 1: lifetime without meeting a gay person that they know that

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Speaker 1: they know.

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Speaker 2: Well, that part's.

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Speaker 1: Let me correct, But I'm curious when we like kind

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Speaker 1: of peel back all these layers. And I, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was reading a lot on your bio and hearing

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Speaker 1: you were adopted, you know, as a mom who has

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Speaker 1: adopted both of her kids, and being queer in a

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Speaker 1: very small town where it's not accepted, and now building

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Speaker 1: this insanely.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful life for yourself.

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Speaker 1: You're doing so much good in our community and in

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Speaker 1: the world, in our space. How did you with an

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Speaker 1: identity like being adopted and being queer and all these

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Speaker 1: all of these things?

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Speaker 2: How did you pick design? How did it speak to you?

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Speaker 2: How did it choose you?

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Speaker 4: As far as a career, I honestly kind of fell

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Speaker 4: into it okay, But as a child, I remember when

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Speaker 4: I was five or six years old, my mom had

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Speaker 4: decorated my room and like all red, red curtains, red bedspread, everybody,

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Speaker 4: and I was just like, I do not vibe with this,

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Speaker 4: Like I just there was something about it.

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Speaker 3: It just did not It did not make me feel good.

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Speaker 4: So like my aunts and grandma would send me, you know,

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Speaker 4: these twenty dollars shecks for my birthday, and I remember

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Speaker 4: using my birthday money to buy new decor from the bedroom,

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Speaker 4: and I bought everything.

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Speaker 3: Blue because I'm like, blue makes me.

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Speaker 4: Feel better, and scientifically it has proven blue is a soothing,

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Speaker 4: relaxing color. So even as a child, I understood the

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Speaker 4: way your space can make you feel. But it was

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Speaker 4: never something that I thought. I was a career. You

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Speaker 4: know that we didn't have designers and the corn fields

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Speaker 4: of Missouri. You know, the only designers I was ever

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Speaker 4: supposed to do was designing Women, you know, a great

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Speaker 4: TV show in the eighties. But it wasn't until you know, again,

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Speaker 4: I left home at fifteen, no education. I was you know,

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Speaker 4: working at restaurants. I was working at gas stations, I

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Speaker 4: was working at the mall retail and I worked with

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Speaker 4: my way up in retail in a pretty decent career.

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Speaker 4: You know, I was the youngest store manager in Express history.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't even eighteen yet. I couldn't even operate the

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Speaker 4: trash compactor, but.

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Speaker 3: I was the manager of the store, and so I

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Speaker 3: was doing well with that, and I started I got

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Speaker 3: a job at.

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Speaker 4: A retail furniture company out in Denver called the Great Indoors,

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Speaker 4: and it was this massive, massive, everything you could need

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Speaker 4: for your home. And I realized I really enjoyed that.

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Speaker 4: And so although my career was retail, when I moved

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Speaker 4: to York, I searched out another retail furniture job, and

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Speaker 4: that job was restoration hardware in New York. I was

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Speaker 4: a visual manager there, and so after Restoration Hardware, I

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Speaker 4: went to pet Bath and beyond horrible job. And then yeah,

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Speaker 4: I skipped Aroun a little bit to some other retail furniture.

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Speaker 4: But then I ended up at a company called Portico

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Speaker 4: and it was a nice high end furniture boutique, and

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Speaker 4: I started managing one of their stores and then became

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Speaker 4: a buyer, and then launched their e commerce division and

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Speaker 4: became the creative director of the company, and then Unfortunately,

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Speaker 4: the company was not managed very well and it ended

390
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Speaker 4: up going under. But at that point I was like,

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Speaker 4: I can do this, yeah, and so I took the

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Speaker 4: database that I had that I had built for them

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Speaker 4: for their e commerce division. And this was two thousand

394
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Speaker 4: and five. You know, there wasn't many people selling anything online.

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Speaker 4: But I registered Bobby Burke Home and I was like,

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Speaker 4: let me try this. Maybe I'll sell us so far

397
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Speaker 4: too while I look for another job. And I sold

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Speaker 4: more than a few and it did well, and it

399
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Speaker 4: was one of the I was one of the first

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Speaker 4: companies selling furniture online period, and so I opened up

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Speaker 4: my own stores after that when it was doing well,

402
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Speaker 4: because my biggest hurdle with online furniture was manufacturers didn't

403
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Speaker 4: want to sell to.

404
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 3: Me because I sold online. Like online, no one's going

405
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Speaker 3: to want to buy furniture online, and.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy, you know, Little did they know fast forward

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Speaker 4: twenty years later, that's you know, I would will be.

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Speaker 2: Buying it exactly.

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Speaker 4: But so I had to open up brick and mortar

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Speaker 4: stores to be taken seriously. So I did, and I

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Speaker 4: you know I would. I was a curator of pretty things.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't a designer, but I would help customers decorate

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Speaker 4: their homes. But I wasn't doing construction documents. I wasn't

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Speaker 4: doing electrical plans. Again, I was picking up pretty things.

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Speaker 4: But then in twenty fifteen I got a call from

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Speaker 4: Builder magazine and they were like, hey, we hired a

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Speaker 4: PR firm to tell us who the most well known

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Speaker 4: millennial teer designer in.

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Speaker 3: The world was. And they said it was you. Wow,

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Speaker 3: And in my mind I was like, that's fun.

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Speaker 4: I'm not an a TEI designer, but great, Okay, what

422
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 4: can I do for you? And they were like, we

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Speaker 4: are building the show homes for the International Builder Show

424
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 4: with a builder in Las Vegas, and we want you

425
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 4: to design these homes because they're all about what millennials

426
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Speaker 4: are going to want in the next or in the

427
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Speaker 4: next decade, and so they're like, can you do that?

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Speaker 4: In my mind I was like, no, I don't. I

429
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Speaker 4: don't know, because again it wasn't just picking up pretty

430
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Speaker 4: things like it was construction documents, tile layouts, electrical plans

431
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Speaker 4: like needing to know CAD, none of which I knew.

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Speaker 3: But of course I said, yes, of course I can

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Speaker 3: do that.

434
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Speaker 2: We didn't have AI.

435
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 3: Then, no, there's no ai am.

436
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 4: But I got on I got online, I got on YouTube,

437
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 4: I got on Google, and I manipulated floor plants and

438
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Speaker 4: photoshop instead of cat and I like, wow.

439
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 3: I made it work and I figured it out.

440
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 4: And that was the same year we had decided to

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Speaker 4: move to La So I moved here to La. I

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00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,479
Speaker 4: hired one assistant to help me install these homes. That

443
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 4: assistant now runs my design company, and ten years later

444
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 4: he's still with me and the house is were success.

445
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 4: And so that builder was like, hey, will you start

446
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 4: designing homes for our communities across the country. And to

447
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 4: this day, they's still my biggest client. I'm a spokesperson

448
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 4: for their company. Now they're the fourth or fifth largest

449
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 4: builder in the US Tripoint homes. And that's how I

450
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 4: got into design again. I kind of fell into it.

451
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 4: It was a combination of well.

452
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 2: It wasn't by accident. You worked your asshole.

453
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 3: It, did you know? I worked years of my stores.

454
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 4: I worked seven days a week, sixteen hour days, three

455
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty three days a year. It always frustrated

456
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 4: me that I had to close on things giving him

457
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 4: Christmas because my landlords were still making money. But I wasn't.

458
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 4: So Yeah, I worked my butt off and I'm at

459
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 4: the point in my life now where I still work hard,

460
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 4: but I don't work nearly that hard.

461
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 3: It's kind of nice.

462
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: Well, you've earned that right, And I'm curious with this

463
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 1: beautiful story that's not linear, that we're a lot of

464
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 1: dead ends, and there was probably a lot of heartache,

465
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: and yeah, I felt when am I? Yeah, when am

466
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: I going to get my next paycheck? Am I going

467
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 1: to be able to do this? Like, I'm sure there's

468
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 1: so many questions, But I think as a creative myself,

469
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 1: like so much of my work and what I do

470
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: creatively is influenced by my story. I draw so much,

471
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 1: so much inspiration from it. Now, from your point of view,

472
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: when you're design you're designing these spaces for other people.

473
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: Do you bring yourself into these designs through your experience?

474
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 4: So for me, I feel my sole job as a

475
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 4: designer doing someone's home is to make that home about them.

476
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 4: So there are a lot of designers who will design

477
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 4: it a very specific aesthetic because that is their aesthetic

478
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 4: and you can see it a mile away, and there's

479
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 4: nothing wrong with that. But for me, I feel like,

480
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 4: as a designer. It's your job to design for the client,

481
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 4: not for yourself. So I do not. You know, I

482
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 4: do have a very specific aesthetic, and there are some

483
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 4: clients who will come to me because they like that.

484
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 4: But if they like that, that's also their esthetic. Yeah,

485
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 4: but I will never force my design philosophy outside of

486
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 4: like function. You know, I will force my design for

487
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 4: philosophy on people about function, because I think before your

488
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 4: house is pretty, it needs to function properly, because the

489
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 4: pretty as of houses that don't function properly make for

490
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 4: a dysfunctional family. So I will force that on them,

491
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 4: but I won't force, you know, if they want me

492
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 4: to work in that awful purple critics at Gertrude, they.

493
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: Will just bite your tongue.

494
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 2: I find that I also, but.

495
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 4: We also try not to take clients who have a

496
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 4: lot of stuff they already work in they want to

497
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 4: work in.

498
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

499
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.

500
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 1: You know, you have your book right at home, and

501
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: you did discuss a lot about the connection between design

502
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 1: and mental health, and I really want you to elaborate

503
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: on that because, just like you said, it really does

504
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: affect how families move, or people function within the chaos.

505
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

506
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 4: So my book Right at Home, How Good Design Is

507
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 4: Good for the Mind, And it is literally all about

508
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 4: mental health and design. And it's something that I had

509
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 4: thought about for years, again going back to when I

510
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 4: was five years old, understanding that certain colors made me

511
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 4: feel a certain way, some good, some bad. It's also

512
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 4: something that I've had to learn as an adult, like

513
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 4: chaos around you creates chaos in your mind. I have

514
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 4: always had to keep a very tidy house because there's

515
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 4: enough chaos in my mind. I don't need it around me,

516
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,959
Speaker 4: you know. I'm on the spectrum I have add I

517
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 4: have to have things a certain way, and people who

518
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 4: don't realize that their lives can be quite chaotic. And

519
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 4: I wanted to write a book about so many different

520
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 4: things with the home and health. I mean, there's a

521
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 4: chapter about the different temperatures of light. You know, from

522
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 4: cool white light like the ones that are honest right now,

523
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 4: but this type of light is energizing. The sun is

524
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 4: technically white light, and it is the brightest white in

525
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 4: the mornings.

526
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 3: And our bodies are species.

527
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 4: Every species on the planet has evolved to wake up

528
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 4: to that bright white light because the sun is the

529
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 4: brightest and the whitest in the morning. So in the

530
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 4: morning when you wake up, it is very important to

531
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 4: if you don't have access to sunlight like that, it

532
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 4: is important to have more of a bright white bull

533
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 4: like in your bathroom when you're getting ready in the morning,

534
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 4: because your body naturally wakes up to that more. But

535
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 4: in the evenings, what color is the sunset? It's more amber, right,

536
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 4: and so in the evenings it is more important to

537
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 4: have a lower Kelvin number, like a two to three

538
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 4: thousand as opposed to a six thousand in your home

539
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 4: at night, because that helps your body, your circadian rhythm

540
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 4: automatically start going, oh.

541
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 3: Hey, like it's time to go to bed.

542
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 4: People who have problems sleeping, I always ask I was like,

543
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 4: do you dim your lights in the evening?

544
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 3: And they're like, what do you mean. I'm like, you know,

545
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 3: around eight o'clock, do you dim them a little bit?

546
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 3: You bring down? They're like, no, I don't.

547
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,479
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, you are going into your room seconds

548
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 4: after you've turned off bright lights and you are telling

549
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 4: your body go to sleep. Your body's like, wait, you

550
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 4: didn't prepare me. You didn't tell me this was happening. Okay,

551
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 4: all right, let me start producing melatonin. All right, let's

552
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 4: get ready, and you know you'll lay in bed for

553
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 4: an hour or two just wide awake because you know

554
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 4: you didn't Just like, if you have an electric car,

555
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 4: you've got to precondition that battery sometimes to charge the best.

556
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 4: And so if you know you're going to charge it,

557
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 4: you hit that pre condition button and it starts preparing

558
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 4: your battery.

559
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, I'm going to get a charge.

560
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 4: Your body needs to do that for sleep too, and

561
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 4: so again lights, there's a whole chapter about color theory,

562
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 4: about colors that are more soothing, colors that are more energizing,

563
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 4: So like if you're in an office space, like colors

564
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 4: that you should paint if you're wanting to be more energized.

565
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 4: There's a whole chapter on organization, and again, chaos around

566
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 4: you creates chaos in your mind. There's a chapter about

567
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 4: designing for your kids. Let's see, there's a chapter about

568
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 4: design and grief. You know, right as I was this

569
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,959
Speaker 4: is about to go on tour with this, my my

570
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 4: father passed and I didn't realize that this chapter I

571
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 4: was writing would be such a help to my mother.

572
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 4: You know, it's because it's hard when you've been with

573
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 4: somebody for literally decades, like my parents had, kind of

574
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 4: changing your home up to where everything in your home

575
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 4: doesn't remind you of them, to where you can start

576
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 4: to heal and move on, but you don't want to

577
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 4: forget them. You don't want to ever fully move on.

578
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 4: So it's a fine balance between taking away the things

579
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 4: that remind you of them because it feels good, but

580
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,479
Speaker 4: also taking away the things that remind you of them

581
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 4: because it hurts everytime you see them, and you know,

582
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 4: having that space in your house that is still for them,

583
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 4: where you can go and you can remember them, and

584
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 4: you can have your moments, you can have your cries,

585
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 4: but kind of making other parts of the home where

586
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: there aren't.

587
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 3: Just constant reminders. Yeah, so you you know, your little

588
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 3: heart can heal. But it's all about the way it

589
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 3: affects you.

590
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: And I think it is there's so much truth to

591
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: it because you and I share a very similar our

592
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: experience where you know, I didn't come out until after college.

593
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: Like honestly, not very long ago.

594
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: And I mean I remember telling my dad I was gay,

595
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: and my dad was like, sweetheart, I raised you like,

596
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: I know, sweetheart, we all knew. And I'm like, well,

597
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: I guess mom, didn't you. Yeah, Jesus, you would have

598
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: saved a lot of trauma. I'm artache. But my mom

599
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: used to always want my room to be pink.

600
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 2: It was always this pink, and you.

601
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 3: Know, me probably did know. She was like right now,

602
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 3: but it's you don't like pink.

603
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I had.

604
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: A pink little princess daughter that I'm really learning to

605
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: love it, but it's just not for me. And I remember,

606
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 1: like my mom was so sweet and she was like

607
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: do these like you know, we didn't come for much money,

608
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: so she would take like sponges and like do the

609
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: white and.

610
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: Used to sponge paint hue painting.

611
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: It was like her favorite thing to do.

612
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's whole fucking room's pink.

613
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: It is all pink.

614
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 4: My sister, my mom had decorated room and holly hobby

615
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 4: when she was little, and my sister is like tom

616
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 4: Boy horses. Yeah, she was not. She was not down

617
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 4: with the holly hobby.

618
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

619
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 4: I always though, at one point my sister would also

620
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 4: be like, hey.

621
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 3: Guess what never has.

622
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 1: Like everyone now is like I'm like, you're sure anyone's straight?

623
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: At at this point, I'm like, where are we all

624
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: living this secret life?

625
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: But I do find it interesting.

626
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: I heard this and read this that during the show.

627
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: You know, it's a very like queer eyes fucking emotional

628
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: it is. And I don't think audience understand how as

629
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: a queer person that opens a lot of wounds going

630
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: into homes like that and discussing topics of like heartache, heaviness,

631
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: and religion.

632
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: And you spoke.

633
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: About how you had to process a lot going through

634
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: the show because it does open wounds.

635
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: Can you talk about that because I.

636
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: Don't think most people understand the weight.

637
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean there were many episodes where I would

638
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 4: just I would go.

639
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 3: Home afterwards and I would just cry. Yeah, because there

640
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 3: was a lot of topics, whether it.

641
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 4: Be religion or parents or siblings or anything to do

642
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 4: with family that I at that point hadn't really processed. Again,

643
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 4: I didn't. I mean I for most of my young

644
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 4: adult life, I couldn't afford therapy.

645
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 3: There weren't a lot of online options. There were nothing.

646
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: You know, it was either you spent two hundred dollars

647
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 3: for a session.

648
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 4: Which I you know, obviously didn't have. So I there

649
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 4: was a lot of things I had not processed before

650
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 4: the show. And you know, there was mainly with religion,

651
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 4: you know, because growing up, religion was.

652
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: My whole life. I lived, eat, slept, breathed religion. I

653
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: was at the church literally every day. Wow.

654
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 4: And so when I lost that, I lost a part

655
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,239
Speaker 4: of who I thought I was, this identity that I

656
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 4: had created for myself. And so for years I didn't

657
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 4: know who I was anymore. I was never really able

658
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 4: to find that identity again. So going into these episodes

659
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 4: where you know, like that one episode in season two

660
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 4: we're renovating a church, I wouldn't go in the church.

661
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've seen that episode. It was

662
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: it was literally the town of Gay Georgia. Wow.

663
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 4: And it was this lovely, amazing, beautiful woman named Tammy,

664
00:32:55,520 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 4: Mama Tammy. And my production crew told me we were

665
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 4: renovating a community center. Because the very first lunch I

666
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 4: had with the creator of the show and the producer

667
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 4: when I got cast, they asked me, we just want

668
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: to know is there anything you don't want to do? Like,

669
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 4: is there anything that would just be too much for you?

670
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: And I was like, please just never ask me to

671
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 4: go in a church.

672
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: Wow.

673
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 4: So they knew it would be a problem, and so

674
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 4: they lied to me about it and said we were

675
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 4: doing a community center. And granted it was the community

676
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 4: center next to the church, yeah, but it was still

677
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 4: it's the church.

678
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 3: So when.

679
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 4: We get to the church, we're getting a tour of

680
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 4: the property, and we toured the community building that we're

681
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 4: going into and I went into that. It was fine,

682
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 4: you know, that was the space I needed to redo.

683
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 4: And they're like, oh, let us go ahead and show

684
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 4: you the sanctuary, and all the other guys went in

685
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 4: and I just I stopped at the front door, and

686
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 4: the guy was like, oh, come.

687
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: On in, and I was like, I'm good, and he's

688
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 3: like what. I was like, yeah, no, no, I'm good.

689
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: You guys, you guys, go ahead, You're fine. I'm just

690
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: I'm I'm I'm not walking in that space.

691
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 4: And I got in so much trouble that day from

692
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 4: the creator of the show.

693
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 3: He was so mad at me.

694
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 4: He thought I had ruined that episode and it turned

695
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 4: out to be one of the most powerful moments.

696
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,399
Speaker 3: Of the entire entire series that to this day.

697
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 4: I get dms and people walking up to me on

698
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 4: the street, saying that that was one of the most

699
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 4: powerful moments of their life because it finally gave them

700
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 4: permission to say no.

701
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: No.

702
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 3: This was traumatizing to me. This destroyed me. This broke

703
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 3: my heart.

704
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 4: I gave you way everything and you turned your back

705
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 4: on me. Simply because I am who I am. I

706
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 4: don't have to pretend like that's not the case. I

707
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 4: don't have to pretend like everything is okay. I can

708
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 4: say this is where I draw the line, and religion

709
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 4: is dead to me.

710
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was.

711
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 4: And I've so many people because of course it's a show,

712
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 4: and I still have to sometimes in the end act

713
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 4: like everything's great when it's not.

714
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 3: And so many people are like, oh, that that show

715
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 3: really healed you, didn't it.

716
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 4: I was like, no, it didn't, you know, mamma and

717
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,400
Speaker 4: Tammy was lovely though, So in the end, I was like,

718
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 4: I'll do whatever, Mammy, tam mommy and mommy, mommy, Gamy.

719
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 4: Mamma Tammy asked, and I will come into that church

720
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 4: and I will sing with her and I will give

721
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 4: her a hug. But I was like, no, it did

722
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 4: not help me. I still feel the exact same way

723
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 4: I did before.

724
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate you sharing that and that that is powerful.

725
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 2: Where are you at now?

726
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: How has that opened up healing growth space for other things?

727
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: Like do you feel like you're moving in a place,

728
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 1: in a direction where you're betting on yourself again and

729
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: being happy and complete?

730
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 3: Yeah?

731
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 4: I think so, especially as you know, when you come

732
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: out of a team your identity yeah, become said team yeah,

733
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 4: And you know, coming out of a very emotionally charged,

734
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 4: emotionally draining, emotionally healing show for nine seasons, it was

735
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 4: hard a to make the decision to leave, but b

736
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 4: to find myself again as an individual, And I think

737
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 4: I have.

738
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 3: You know, it's been fun.

739
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 4: I took some time off, and you know, I have

740
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 4: a lot of new exciting things that are some have

741
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 4: been announced, some haven't been announced yet.

742
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I am moving in a great direction.

743
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 2: You know, I think we all go through it.

744
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: I'm going through it in real time now being a

745
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,840
Speaker 1: newly retired athlete and being a mom and all of

746
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: these things. I'm not who I used to be.

747
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 2: What did that.

748
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 4: Look like for you again, as you know, as being

749
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 4: a part of team, being a part of the Fab five,

750
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: Like that's who I was.

751
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 3: I was Bobby from the Fat Five.

752
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 4: You know, every every interview I did, every show I

753
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 4: was on, you know, was introduced as.

754
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 3: Bobby from the Fab Five, you know.

755
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 4: And so for that being almost a decade, I would

756
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 4: still find myself like Bobby from Querai, like Bobby from

757
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 4: the Fat Five, and I'm like, wait.

758
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:08,720
Speaker 3: No, not anymore.

759
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 4: No, So you know, I had to start finding myself

760
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 4: again as an identity separate from that because that show

761
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 4: was put first for so long, and the experience that

762
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 4: our heroes would have was put first for so long.

763
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 4: You know, there was obviously, I think the world has

764
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 4: figured out. It wasn't always a peachy place behind the

765
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:41,240
Speaker 4: scenes there, but that was to allow that to affect,

766
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 4: to affect the experience our heroes. Heroes had was never

767
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 4: an option. So it was always just kind of handle it,

768
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 4: deal with it, you know. So finding myself after that

769
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 4: was hard.

770
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

771
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 2: But and do you feel like you're on the right track?

772
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 3: I do?

773
00:37:59,160 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: We look like it.

774
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. Thank you.

775
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: You have a beautiful spirit to you and it's so infectious.

776
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 2: I love spending time with you.

777
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

778
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.

779
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: I always ask this question on the show, what moment

780
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: like in your life and in this journey both personally

781
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: professionally have really split you wide open that it really.

782
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 2: Changed it all for you.

783
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 3: What moment?

784
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, what moment in your life was like really defining moment.

785
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 4: I mean, as much as we've talked about finding myself

786
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 4: outside of Queer Eye, Queeri was an extremely defining moment. Yeah,

787
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 4: you know, the original Queer Eye for the Strake. I

788
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 4: was a defining moment for me to see five real

789
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 4: life gay people, you know, because back then the only

790
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 4: gay person on television was Ellen and that was very

791
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 4: fresh in news. Yeah. I don't even think Elton John

792
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 4: was out back then. Wow, you know, So to see

793
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 4: five gay guys on TV who were real, They weren't acting,

794
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 4: they had real careers, they were a real success that

795
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 4: really was very inspiring for me to see that I

796
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 4: too can succeed, you know because growing up, once I

797
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 4: came out, I was basically told I would never amount

798
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 4: to anything, I would never be accepted, I would never

799
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 4: be loved, And so to see those five guys prove

800
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 4: all that wrong was inspiring to me. And so for

801
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 4: me to be able to be on the same show

802
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 4: that did that for me and do that for millions

803
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 4: of other little queer kids around the world. Was a

804
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 4: huge defining moment for me. It was kind of full circle.

805
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 4: It was me being able to give back like the

806
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 4: original guys.

807
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 3: Did for me.

808
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: Now you're so forward, facing so many people, so many

809
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: people recognize and know you. How has that impacted your life?

810
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 4: I mean there are many, many, many positive things, as

811
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 4: you know about being a public figure. Yeah, but there

812
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:26,399
Speaker 4: are also a lot of negative things, you know. I

813
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 4: try not to dwell on the negative things. Some of

814
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 4: those negative things are being always recognized, people thinking they

815
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 4: know who you are, people coming to judgments about you,

816
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 4: about who you are when they really don't know who

817
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 4: you are. But my show has been has had such

818
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 4: an impact on people, whether I am if I'm just

819
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 4: trying to get a coffee at a coffee shop, and

820
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,760
Speaker 4: in turn, I amn't there for thirty minutes holding somebody

821
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 4: as they cry, telling me the story about how the

822
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 4: affected them or their sibling or their parents or you know.

823
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 4: I got picked up from the airport once by a

824
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 4: driver and he was a white cis gendered male, probably

825
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 4: in his seventies.

826
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 3: And he proceeded.

827
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 4: You know, again, I was in a rush. I you know,

828
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 4: had had a long day. I didn't you know, I

829
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 4: had enough emotions on my own. I didn't need more.

830
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 4: But he sat there and told me how his daughter

831
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 4: was trance and him and his wife didn't know, didn't

832
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 4: know how to react, didn't know how to support her, didn't.

833
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 3: Know how to accept her. Just it was so foreign

834
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 3: to them.

835
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 4: But watching Queer Eye healed that brought them together, allowed

836
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 4: them to look past what other people were telling them

837
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 4: and realized that they just needed to love their daughter,

838
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 4: and that's all they needed to do. That's all she

839
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 4: needed from them, was for them to love and support her,

840
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 4: because she was strong enough to do other things on

841
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 4: her own as long as she had that love and support.

842
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 4: And so I get to hear all these amazing stories.

843
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 4: So again, one of the cons is that sometimes when

844
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 4: I really just want to coffee, I end up holding

845
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 4: somebody as a cry. But one of the pros is

846
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 4: I get to hold somebody while they cry and talk

847
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 4: about how that show changed their life and change their

848
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 4: famili's life, changed their kids' life, change their siblings' life.

849
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's changed my life, and you know, I

850
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 4: can't always get to an airport. I've honestly, I have

851
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 4: missed some flights.

852
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

853
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 4: Because of that, I have learned now sunglasses, earbuds, baseball cap.

854
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 4: Sorry guys, but I do hear you. I just act

855
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 4: like I don't because I'm running to my blight.

856
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: Listen, if you see Bobby in a hat, sunglasses, and

857
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 1: ear pods, you probably wear the wires too, so you

858
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 1: really let people know not.

859
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 4: To fuck with you sometimes. But it's funny. I often

860
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 4: won't even have anything on in them. I will just

861
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 4: have noise cancelations. Gets again, I'm on the spectrum. I

862
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 4: need that noise.

863
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: Cancelation just to block the world out.

864
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 4: It's I have so many cheap, crap pairs of headphones

865
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 4: that I've had to buy at the airport because I've

866
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 4: left mine at home, and I'm like, i can't get

867
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 4: through the airport on time without that because people will

868
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 4: stop me. But yeah, I'm forgetting what the question was.

869
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 4: Everythink how the show has changed that? But yeah, it's definitely.

870
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 1: It's difficult because people want fame and fortune, and I'm

871
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: telling people you don't want fame.

872
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 4: Well here's the thing, Yeah, you don't think I forget

873
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 4: who sings the song witch?

874
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 3: I said what I said, I'd rather be famous instead?

875
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 3: Is it? Who do? But I always hear that. I'm like,

876
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 3: I don't. But here's the thing, Like, I feel like.

877
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 4: As I don't, I hate to use the word celebrity,

878
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 4: I hate to use the word public figure, but I

879
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 4: have to use the word something. So I think I

880
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: feel like as people in the public eye, like we

881
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 4: are public figures. We're very lucky because there are a

882
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 4: lot of things that we have access to. There are

883
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,320
Speaker 4: a lot of great things that happened to us because

884
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 4: of that. And I feel like we owe the public

885
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 4: who puts us in this position a certain amount of

886
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 4: respect and a certain amount of willingness to give back

887
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 4: to them, Meaning that time in the coffee shop when

888
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 4: I'm giving back to this person who has loved and

889
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 4: supported me through the TV screen for years, I feel

890
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 4: that we owe them that. And you know, there is

891
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 4: a new generation of celebs as of recently who don't

892
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 4: feel that, who are very publicly my privacy time this me, me, me, me, me,

893
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 4: you know, And I'm like, well, if it's that hard

894
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 4: to be famous, don't go away, go away. These are

895
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 4: people who are spending their time, money, their money, their

896
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 4: emotions to make us who we are, and to dismiss them,

897
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 4: to say you owe me mice within reason, Yes, there's

898
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 4: a level of respect that still needs to be there,

899
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 4: but to to be like, no, I'm not above.

900
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, I agree. I agree.

901
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: And you know who else says this really well was

902
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: Billy Jean King. When I got to sit down with her,

903
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 1: she says, you know, she's like I was. I always

904
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: knew when I stepped on the court that all of

905
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: these people were paying to watch me and they had

906
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: to make hard choices in their life to choose that moment. Yes,

907
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: and I am not above any fucking person there. And

908
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we forget it because who's who's paying

909
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,720
Speaker 1: for this beautiful life you've created. It's it's the people

910
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: who have shown up over and over and over again,

911
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: who have supported you.

912
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 4: And to not show up for them, I think it's

913
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 4: just it says, it's exactly who you are, exactly, and

914
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 4: that is not the person I wanted to be.

915
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: And with that, I'm gonna ask you the last question,

916
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: because I can keep you here all and I love you,

917
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: If you could design a safe space for your younger self.

918
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 2: Now, if you could go back in time.

919
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 1: What would that look like for you, that little boy

920
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: from rural Missouri.

921
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's safe.

922
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,320
Speaker 4: If I could redesign a safe space for me, is

923
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 4: I think it would be a much more diverse space.

924
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 4: You know, I grew up in an incredibly undiverse world,

925
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 4: and I think that's why I immerse myself in so

926
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 4: much diversity now. And I was posted pictures earlier today

927
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 4: and I'd like, and all these photos are like, I'm

928
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 4: the only.

929
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 3: White person in the photo, and I love it, you know.

930
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 4: I was like, it's always funny to me, Like I

931
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 4: went from growing up at a very undiverse world to just.

932
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 3: Wanting to complete opposite of them. No, So I yeah,

933
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 3: I think.

934
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,840
Speaker 4: If I could, you know, design a space for myself,

935
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 4: it would be a much more diverse one. Because the

936
00:46:55,760 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 4: problem with our country right now is everybody is in

937
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 4: their own bubble. Every especially in the middle of America,

938
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 4: people only listen to people with their point of view.

939
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 4: They're only around people that are just like them, and

940
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 4: that breeds more hate because then they're raising children to

941
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,759
Speaker 4: think like that too, and it's getting worse and worse

942
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 4: and worse. So for children to grow up in a

943
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 4: more diverse space, creates better human beings.

944
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I couldn't agree more. And I'm I'm

945
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: glad I get to share this journey with you because

946
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: I do. I say this often, but sharing space with

947
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 1: you is I'm grateful for it.

948
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: So thank you, thanks for being here.

949
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: Thanks, and tell everyone what you're doing now now that

950
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: you're working on You're working on so many fucking projects.

951
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 2: At this point, I cannot, I can't.

952
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 1: Say anything, but there's a lot of cool things.

953
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 4: One yeah, one show that I have announced. It's a

954
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 4: show called Strikers. It is a sports comedy. Hey, it

955
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 4: is about cricket, which did you know that after European

956
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 4: football saying huge, cricket is the second largest sport on

957
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 4: the planet, just not here, but yes, he is starting

958
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 4: to be here though, four hundred new leagues in the

959
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 4: US in the last couple of years alone, So cricket, cricket,

960
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 4: cricket is coming. But cricket is a huge sport. So

961
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 4: I mean, I hate to compare a show to another show,

962
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 4: but just kind of to give you this, kind of

963
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 4: like ted Lasso, but for cricket.

964
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 3: You know, a good warm hearted sports comedy.

965
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 4: We have some amazing writers on it, two of the

966
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 4: writers from the Real o'neils and from Fresh off the Boat.

967
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 4: We just finished our pilot with Josh and Jonathan, so

968
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 4: it's a very diverse show. As of now, I think

969
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 4: I am the only white person on the I was

970
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 4: like the only one person he had that there will

971
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: be more team members cast on the that are on

972
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,839
Speaker 4: the cricket teams. That there will be, but I play

973
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 4: a sports agent and it's it's just going to be

974
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 4: a really feel good show that we need that. Yeah,

975
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 4: we really need it, and I'm excited.

976
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 3: You know.

977
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 4: Obviously this will be kind of my first time acting.

978
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 4: I've done a little bit of acting. It's funny. I

979
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 4: did a guest appearance on Alex and Katie once years ago,

980
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 4: and I was supposed to be playing myself, which I

981
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 4: was like, oh, how easy will that be?

982
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 3: I'm playing myself? But then I get there and I'm like,

983
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,320
Speaker 3: who am I? Who am I?

984
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 4: And I'm like, wait, no, playing yourself especially it's hard,

985
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 4: especially playing yourself and not like I queer. I play myself,

986
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 4: but I'm also everything that comes out of my mouth.

987
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 4: I'm deciding what comes out of my mouth, so it

988
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 4: really is me. But when you're acting on a show

989
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 4: as yourself, you're.

990
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 3: Still there's lines.

991
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 4: The lines are still written by the writers, and so

992
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 4: I was especially like a lot of the lines that

993
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 4: were written, I'm like, this is me.

994
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,240
Speaker 3: But then I'm like, well it was. It was really

995
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 3: fucked with my head to this just be you, and

996
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 3: I'm like, but am I. So it's not my.

997
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 4: First time acting, but it is my first time acting

998
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 4: as a character outside of you know, high school musicals

999
00:49:59,680 --> 00:49:59,959
Speaker 4: and stuff.

1000
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 3: So I'm excited about that.

1001
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 2: You know, you're gonna be great.

1002
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1003
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 4: The first of many, and there's some design shows that

1004
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 4: will be announced soon as well. It's a game show

1005
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 4: I'm working on right now, which has been a dream

1006
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 4: of mine forever.

1007
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 3: I wanted to host a game show for you. That's

1008
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 3: the one who knows about that yet. But that's it's

1009
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 3: not for sure yet, but we'll put it out there.

1010
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,280
Speaker 3: It's going to be in the universe. I'm really diving,

1011
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 3: diving back into the deep end.

1012
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: It's good though. We need you back. I want to

1013
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 2: see your face.

1014
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 1: All over the place, so I feel like it's it's

1015
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,760
Speaker 1: when I'm at home, So tell everyone where.

1016
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: They can find you.

1017
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 4: So my Instagram's at Bobby, My TikTok's at Bobby, threads

1018
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 4: at Bobby.

1019
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,320
Speaker 3: Everything is just at Bobby.

1020
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: That's so good to see you, Bobby. Thank you for

1021
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:51,240
Speaker 1: coming on the show. I adore you and I can't

1022
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 1: wait for what's next. Everyone go check out Bobby on

1023
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 1: social channels and your new show coming out?

1024
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 2: When is it coming out? Do you even know when

1025
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 2: it's coming out?

1026
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,840
Speaker 4: We were going to be shooting it this summer, okay,

1027
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 4: but there is another show that I haven't been able

1028
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,240
Speaker 4: to announce yet, so you're busy. Was in negotiations before

1029
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,760
Speaker 4: that that has taken presidents, so we won't be filming

1030
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: it until.

1031
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 3: Next year now, but it's coming. It's coming.

1032
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 4: But yeah, so I would since we're filming it next year,

1033
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,479
Speaker 4: it's probably going to be out like early twenty twenties.

1034
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: Okay, got you know how the BIS was?

1035
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 2: I sure do? Thirty four ye learning reale time?

1036
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, so best case scenario early twenty twenty seven.

1037
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 1: Great, So good to see you. Thanks for coming on

1038
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: the show, and we will see everyone next week on

1039
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 1: another episode of Wide Open with Ashland.

1040
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: Wide Open with Ashland.

1041
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: Harris is an iHeart women's Sports Production. You can find

1042
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 1: us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

1043
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:55,799
Speaker 1: get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borka Correo, Emily Maronov,

1044
00:51:56,120 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: and Lucy Jones. Production assistant from Malia Aguidello. Our executive

1045
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our

1046
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 1: editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm Your

1047
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 1: Host Ashlyn Harris