Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with the Angler and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, I'm Dean Anglert. Thank you for
Speaker 1: tuning in to help I Suck at Dating. This week's
Speaker 1: episode is gonna be a little bit different. I have
Speaker 1: Mark and Eastern in the studio. We are going to
Speaker 1: be taking phone calls, reading emails, and just kind of
Speaker 1: having an open conversation about being sucky at dating. So Mark,
Speaker 1: you want to say hi, Hi everybody. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I could weigh in on that, but I'll do
Speaker 1: what I can. Well, just you know, get the get
Speaker 1: the the conversation rolling a little bit. We have Easton
Speaker 1: over here as well. I don't know if he's all
Speaker 1: set up over there, but this is the sound of
Speaker 1: my voice. Yes, I love It's okay great. So we
Speaker 1: have an article here that we wanted to get your
Speaker 1: thoughts on. Okay, it's called when a Guy Doesn't Text back.
Speaker 1: The real reason it drives women crazy because women, we've
Speaker 1: talked about this number one, they don't understand it. For example,
Speaker 1: they measure other people against the yard stick determined by
Speaker 1: their own personal codes of conduct, meaning I would send
Speaker 1: it right back to him. Why isn't he setting it
Speaker 1: right back to me. It makes sense. To number two,
Speaker 1: they think it means he doesn't care. It might could
Speaker 1: have said that they got to banter back and forth
Speaker 1: and suddenly he goes away. Well, why what happened? Well,
Speaker 1: they don't understand. Who knows what happened? But doesn't necessarily
Speaker 1: mean it doesn't care. Agreed or doesn't mean it doesn't care.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean he doesn't care. I disagree with that. Okay,
Speaker 1: how many? How many bullet points are we going for here?
Speaker 1: This is the third bullet Fear, fear that he's not interested,
Speaker 1: fear that he's leading you on, fear that he's using
Speaker 1: you for something else. I just think that people sometimes
Speaker 1: suck at texting, And I don't know if that necessarily
Speaker 1: means that you suck at dating too. I mean I
Speaker 1: and I guess it really depends on the conversation to like,
Speaker 1: if you're having a long winded conversation with someone that
Speaker 1: you're dating, per se, and you take a long time
Speaker 1: to text back. Um, I've gotten in trouble for this
Speaker 1: before because I don't want to kind of half assid
Speaker 1: a responsor and answer right. So I want to be
Speaker 1: able to sit down kind of internalize it, and then uh,
Speaker 1: touch on every topic that we're talking about instead of
Speaker 1: just kind of brushing it over and um being a
Speaker 1: little bit more brief than then I should be. And
Speaker 1: that's gonna be in trouble before because it'll take me
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I don't have the time then. I
Speaker 1: think we actually even talked about this in one of
Speaker 1: the earlier episodes too. But that doesn't necessarily mean that
Speaker 1: I'm ignoring or don't care anything like that. It's just
Speaker 1: a matter of I need to sit, like hunker down
Speaker 1: and really think about what I need to say in
Speaker 1: this one. You know, that's interesting. I think most people,
Speaker 1: especially your age, especially guys, aren't putting that level of
Speaker 1: effort into texting. Well, I don't want to say that
Speaker 1: I'm putting any more effort in than anyone else at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. I just I think that
Speaker 1: especially there are certain types of people, um, of both
Speaker 1: sexes that require, you know, much more explanation of of things,
Speaker 1: especially like viattacks. Right, so you're arguing with someone and
Speaker 1: you have friends that you can just give like five
Speaker 1: word responses to what there are certain types of people
Speaker 1: that you need to be sure that you're touching on
Speaker 1: every point that they're you know, asking about or talking about. Um.
Speaker 1: And so for those people, I definitely make sure to
Speaker 1: do my best and make sure that their knee are
Speaker 1: being fulfilled through my texting. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I will constantly get like, you know, two texts in
Speaker 1: a row and then I don't respond for two hours,
Speaker 1: and then like I'll get a follow up text saying okay,
Speaker 1: never mind, or like some sort of like passive aggressive
Speaker 1: text that's that's totally meant to like make me to
Speaker 1: light the fire under my butt to get me to
Speaker 1: text back faster. Um. And I don't I don't really
Speaker 1: like that very much understood. What was your reason for delaying?
Speaker 1: You were just thinking about what they had said? You're
Speaker 1: just pondering it for hours at a time. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: and sometimes too it's like, Okay, I don't really want
Speaker 1: to be talking about this right now, so I'm going
Speaker 1: to like shelf it for later and come back to
Speaker 1: it at a later moment. I guess. So they're they're
Speaker 1: obviously multiple reasons, but I think, like, what were the
Speaker 1: three points that were made to fear? Fear was one
Speaker 1: you think it means he doesn't care doesn't care and
Speaker 1: you just don't get it because you would never behave
Speaker 1: that way, right. So it's kind of like a hypocritical stance,
Speaker 1: I guess because you text back faster, so you don't
Speaker 1: want the person that you're texting to not text you
Speaker 1: back so quickly. Um. I don't think any of those
Speaker 1: really apply to every situation. A shan, I don't know,
Speaker 1: what do you guys think. I'm just curious about the
Speaker 1: time you're putting into thinking about these and I you
Speaker 1: respect them and you want to give them a good response.
Speaker 1: What if you did something like I gotta think about
Speaker 1: that for a second and then you can come back
Speaker 1: to it when you want to, because they're waiting for
Speaker 1: those three dots. They're staring at it. No, And I
Speaker 1: think too, if you were to just outwardly say hey,
Speaker 1: give me some time to think about this and get
Speaker 1: back to you, I think that that would be okay. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of doing that. I've said that, yeah,
Speaker 1: like hang on, I need a beat on this, or
Speaker 1: I'll just say stand by okay. So, so we have
Speaker 1: Tanya in studio with us now, and she was audibly
Speaker 1: signed during that conversation from a girl's perspective. What do
Speaker 1: you think of all that. I'm not a big fan
Speaker 1: of when guys make me wait um text message because
Speaker 1: I feel like the time you have your phone in
Speaker 1: your hand or on your body, So a quick response,
Speaker 1: not even I don't need it immediately within five minutes,
Speaker 1: but like within the hour, I think is very appropriate.
Speaker 1: So if you're making me wait over an hour, it
Speaker 1: would really irked me. But unless you were uninterested, which
Speaker 1: is what I think is the B category. I think
Speaker 1: if you're not responding and you're taking over however many hours,
Speaker 1: you're not interested, because I have done that with a
Speaker 1: guy that I'm trying to wean off. Okay, that's good, Okay,
Speaker 1: so it's your point. Though. Most people do always have
Speaker 1: their phones in their hand, right I'm one of those people.
Speaker 1: I basically I'm always on my phone. But whether it's friends,
Speaker 1: whether it's people i'm dating, whoever it is, I constantly
Speaker 1: here that I'm horrible at texting back. So if a
Speaker 1: girl you were interested in texted you right now, even
Speaker 1: during this podcast, you would respond right away. No, I
Speaker 1: put my phone in it disturb when I come into
Speaker 1: the studio. Really, yes, this takes priority over everything while
Speaker 1: I'm in here. Well, that's very nice personally, but isn't
Speaker 1: there something to that Your interest level in the person
Speaker 1: is related to how quickly you would respond. So you're
Speaker 1: saying that if you are really interested in someone, you
Speaker 1: should drop everything at any given moment to respond it
Speaker 1: quickly enough to make sure that they feel comfortable with
Speaker 1: It's about how you feel. I had a woman tell
Speaker 1: me once I was visiting my parents an hour away
Speaker 1: from where she lived. We had plans on a Sunday night,
Speaker 1: and I decided to stay with my parents next today,
Speaker 1: and I called on that said I'm so sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stay here for another day so I can't go
Speaker 1: out tomorrow night. And she goes, you know, if you
Speaker 1: wanted to be here with me, you would be And
Speaker 1: she was a hundred percent right now. And if I
Speaker 1: was really interested, I would have been running those sixty miles.
Speaker 1: And if you're really interested, you would immediately respond to
Speaker 1: that text, don't you think? Yeah? Yes, see, No, it's
Speaker 1: so true. I think it's so black and white. I do.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any of this like weird. I
Speaker 1: think if you're really interested in somebody and they text
Speaker 1: you you're going to respond, but maybe not within five minutes,
Speaker 1: but you will respond very quickly. Don't you think that
Speaker 1: like interest levels can kind of be up and down,
Speaker 1: there's kind of like an ebb and flow to it
Speaker 1: right where, Um, there are obviously certain times of the
Speaker 1: day where you have to give your utmost attention to
Speaker 1: the person you're talking to. But then they're also like
Speaker 1: lulls where um, okay, you're both doing your own thing.
Speaker 1: You I don't know, you're out doing work or she's
Speaker 1: out doing whatever it is. So there are certainly times
Speaker 1: where you're not necessarily responsible for responding that quickly, and
Speaker 1: you're allowed to. I don't want to say be less interested,
Speaker 1: but you're allowed to, I guess, have more of a
Speaker 1: buffer's own in terms of responding. Yes, I do agree
Speaker 1: there are times of the day, but I think that
Speaker 1: I still I stand by this. If you are interested
Speaker 1: in somebody, you are going to make it a priority
Speaker 1: to respond to that. So you're saying, if you're with
Speaker 1: the guys, you're at a movie, you're you're busy, You're
Speaker 1: going to get back to them when you get back
Speaker 1: to them. But what I don't you ever get a
Speaker 1: text from a girl and you get that little tickle
Speaker 1: in your stomach like, oh my gosh, it's her. You've
Speaker 1: had that. I'm sure I've had it. I'm sure I
Speaker 1: still have it. I sure. I'm probably just scared to
Speaker 1: admit that I get it. I don't know. Um yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So when you do get that little tickle, then you
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you respond fully and appropriately,
Speaker 1: and you make sure that you are answering what they
Speaker 1: need to have. Do you ever consult your guy friends
Speaker 1: about what to say in return? Um? Not often, I
Speaker 1: would say maybe one per end of the time. You
Speaker 1: never like, like, I need to be really funny here,
Speaker 1: let me like go to my really fun I'm the
Speaker 1: funniest one of all my friends. Did they go to
Speaker 1: you for texting advice? No, definitely not. I'm definitely not
Speaker 1: that funny. But um no, I think that. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think my friends and I confide in each other a lot,
Speaker 1: especially with relationships. I don't know if it's for the
Speaker 1: better for the worst. I noticed that a lot of
Speaker 1: the friends that I have, as much as I love them,
Speaker 1: they're just as bad, if not worse, at dating than
Speaker 1: I am. So it's it's hard to confide in someone
Speaker 1: who you kind of I don't know, see a lot
Speaker 1: of flaws within in terms of the dating sphere, but
Speaker 1: we do our best to help each other, I guess
Speaker 1: for the for the most part. See with guys, it's
Speaker 1: different than with girls. I know, because so for girls,
Speaker 1: we will like screenshot and be like, what do I say?
Speaker 1: Send it to our friends say help me, what do
Speaker 1: we send back to this? But if guys go to
Speaker 1: their friends and say, hey, what do I say back
Speaker 1: to this? It's not so she'll like me. It's so
Speaker 1: I can close the deal. But what if the deal
Speaker 1: is already closed, then I think you're probably taking your
Speaker 1: I'm getting back to her? Is that what it is?
Speaker 1: I'm look, I'm married, So I don't know, but that's
Speaker 1: kind of my feeling. No, I think. I mean, especially
Speaker 1: in today's day and age, it kind of makes sense. Um,
Speaker 1: that has to do with interest level. Yeah, if if
Speaker 1: a girl sleeps with you too soon, do you lose interest? Honestly? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. I agree with that. It's funny because
Speaker 1: guys always are interested in that, but then once it
Speaker 1: happens that they lose interest. What about on the flip
Speaker 1: side of that, if a guy sleeps with the girl
Speaker 1: too soon? Does the girl who's interest? Does that ever happen? No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, only if it's botched somehow, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: unless it's bad? Yeah? Wait in what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Like if unless this sex is bad? All right? This
Speaker 1: podcast is going straight to our real best. Why don't
Speaker 1: we take a call. Let's take a call? All right?
Speaker 1: How about we talked to Megan? She is in Semi Valley, California. Hey, Megan,
Speaker 1: this is Dean and you're on help. I suck at dating.
Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you? I'm good? So
Speaker 1: what's your question? Um? My question is I guess? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even know. I don't really have
Speaker 1: a question. It's more like, I mean, I guess. It
Speaker 1: could be like how to find a mature person? I
Speaker 1: live like kind of near l A. But I've tried
Speaker 1: talking to people around my age, older than me, um,
Speaker 1: even younger than me. Just absolutely everyone is so immature.
Speaker 1: So how do you find a mature person to date?
Speaker 1: I think that I think in the past I've said
Speaker 1: find someone older, but I think that at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, it really is a case by case basis, right,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six, I act like I'm sixteen. I think
Speaker 1: you could find a twenty year old that acts like
Speaker 1: he's thirty four. It really just depends on the type
Speaker 1: of person that you're meeting. Yeah, where do you Where
Speaker 1: do you meet most of these people? Um? I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean the last person I talked to I downloaded
Speaker 1: you know that at Bumble. Oh we know Bumble very
Speaker 1: well over here. I downloaded it for one day and
Speaker 1: then I met this guy and he is in his
Speaker 1: last year of med school. So I was like, that's
Speaker 1: pretty nice. Um. But then we were skyping and he
Speaker 1: just made the most immature comments and I was just
Speaker 1: like no, no, no no, no no, and it just did
Speaker 1: not work. So I deleted the app just because it
Speaker 1: not really my thing. Um. Way making your twenty years
Speaker 1: old you said, yes, So what what type of immature
Speaker 1: comments were was he making? Like what would you be
Speaker 1: looking for in terms of like maturity, Um, I guess
Speaker 1: just someone going somewhere in life just has a lot
Speaker 1: of respect. Um. So they were like childish remarks like yeah,
Speaker 1: like I'm the least judgmental person and he randomly tells
Speaker 1: me he's like, oh I hate fat people like Okay,
Speaker 1: like what am I supposed to do with that information?
Speaker 1: And I first told him because we met on that
Speaker 1: dating app and I've never done a dating app before,
Speaker 1: so I told him I'm not the kind of girl
Speaker 1: to just like hook up with someone that's not me.
Speaker 1: And then like a week later he ran only tells
Speaker 1: me he has a high LIVEDO And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: think that you can't let this one guy kind of
Speaker 1: make the rule for for dating apps for you. I
Speaker 1: think that there are definitely success stories coming out of
Speaker 1: dating apps, and I'm not, um, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think that one out of every you know, five or
Speaker 1: so guys is going to be super immature like that,
Speaker 1: and that's that's I agree. I think that if you
Speaker 1: meet someone and you're uncomfortable with the things that they're saying,
Speaker 1: I think that you should definitely stay away. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: guys are immature. It's about finding a guy who can
Speaker 1: kind of cover up the immaturity, that knows enough not
Speaker 1: to say something like that on a dating app. Really,
Speaker 1: we're all I'm forty six, I love playing video games, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm very immature, but you figure out how to hide
Speaker 1: the really kind of dorky, ugly parts of yourselves. I
Speaker 1: think everybody does that. I think there's a difference too,
Speaker 1: between being immature and just kind of being UM. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess is the word is that the sive sensitive
Speaker 1: and sensitive is what I was looking for. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Megan. I'd say, I say keep. I
Speaker 1: think that you can't really place an age on it.
Speaker 1: Of course, I think as you skew older, you'll genuinely
Speaker 1: see more mature guys. But I don't think you should
Speaker 1: discount younger guys just because of their age. They can
Speaker 1: certainly be more mature than that year old was. What
Speaker 1: do you do, Megan? What do I do? Um? I'm
Speaker 1: a junior in college right now. None of the guys
Speaker 1: what college, cow State, channel islands and nobody there is interesting.
Speaker 1: No the guy to girl ratios one or there's girls
Speaker 1: to everyone. Guy, I should have got married. I mean,
Speaker 1: I will say that when when I was a junior
Speaker 1: in college, I was incredibly immature, but I was a
Speaker 1: little bit more. I want I would say that I
Speaker 1: was a little bit more self aware than this twenty
Speaker 1: year old guy that you were talking to. UM, I
Speaker 1: would just say, like, you're you're at an age right
Speaker 1: now where you're supposed to be, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: like enjoying yourself. Obviously, you're a junior in college. You
Speaker 1: should be having fun everyone. I mean, I don't want
Speaker 1: to say like jump into a relationship or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but um, you know you're twenty years old, you're about
Speaker 1: to be twenty one. I'm sure you should be having
Speaker 1: fun and maybe not necessarily trying to get into a
Speaker 1: relationship with an incredibly mature guy. Of course, I don't
Speaker 1: know you, um, and I think that you should take
Speaker 1: that with a grain of salt. But it's it's it's
Speaker 1: a fun time in your life, and I think you
Speaker 1: should be enjoying it. Well, thank you. Yeah. And I
Speaker 1: think when I turned one that will expand a lot,
Speaker 1: because then I can go to a lot more places
Speaker 1: and meet more people. You have so much time ahead
Speaker 1: of you. I don't think you need to rush anything.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: for calling in all. It is nice talking to you.
Speaker 1: Let's go to Ali in Wisconsin, which is my home state.
Speaker 1: Hello Ali from Wisconsin. This is Dean. How are you good?
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm good? So you're on with me?
Speaker 1: Mark easton Antonia. Even Antonia can't hear you. But what's
Speaker 1: your question for us? Um? Okay, so I've never had
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. Okay, I like a guy, but he has
Speaker 1: a girlfriend, and I don't want to be like rude
Speaker 1: and like talk to him. But how old are you?
Speaker 1: Your nineteen? Okay? So how old is he and his girlfriend? Um,
Speaker 1: he just turned twenty one and they think his girlfriend
Speaker 1: is the same age. And how long have they been dating?
Speaker 1: For um, at least a couple of months. What do
Speaker 1: you like about this guy? Ali? Um, while we were
Speaker 1: put together because I'm in college and we were like
Speaker 1: put together to work on a group project, and like
Speaker 1: he like every day he was like he always asked
Speaker 1: me how I was and I don't know. He was
Speaker 1: just a really nice guy. Sounds like a nice guy. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will say that. So my I have a similar
Speaker 1: experience with this. When I was in college, there was
Speaker 1: this girl that I really really liked. We were both
Speaker 1: in business school together. We both, um you know, had
Speaker 1: a lot of the same classes. Every once in a while,
Speaker 1: we were paired up to work on a group project together.
Speaker 1: She had a boyfriend and they had been dating I
Speaker 1: think since their freshman year all the way up through
Speaker 1: senior years, so quite a long time. Um, and I
Speaker 1: think the best thing that you can do is just
Speaker 1: be respectful of the relationship and obviously not try to
Speaker 1: pressure anything, but maintain like a solid friendship with this guy,
Speaker 1: because what I did was maintained a strong friendship with
Speaker 1: her as well. Um, you know, always be sure to
Speaker 1: to support her and even you know, their relationship in
Speaker 1: every way possible. And then if it's meant to be
Speaker 1: In this case, they broke up after graduation, in her
Speaker 1: and I were able to start dating after the fact. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think like once you're able to like, uh,
Speaker 1: build a friendship and allow you know, kind of you
Speaker 1: to get to understand him better, him to understand you better,
Speaker 1: and used to be able to continuously supporting him, that
Speaker 1: kind of shows a good side of you. And um,
Speaker 1: I think that's probably the best advice that I could give. You.
Speaker 1: Be the guy, Be the person that's there for him
Speaker 1: when he needs somebody, right like that? Where do you
Speaker 1: live in Wisconsin? Alley, Oh Claire home with the Blue GOLs? Um,
Speaker 1: here's my thought on miss and I I feel like
Speaker 1: and I don't want to offend you in any way,
Speaker 1: and I think I was in this position, I really do.
Speaker 1: I remember when I was in high school and I've
Speaker 1: never had a girlfriend before, and an upperclassman girl smiled
Speaker 1: at me one day, and I'm sure she thought nothing
Speaker 1: of it, and I was in love with her for
Speaker 1: four years after that. He was really nice to you,
Speaker 1: and I think you might be have inflated feelings for
Speaker 1: him because of the kindness that he showed you. Uh So,
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's the guy for you necessarily,
Speaker 1: but you'll find out if you take Dean's advice and
Speaker 1: get to know him and be his friend, you'll kind
Speaker 1: of find out if he's the guy for you and
Speaker 1: know the real thing, because I think he might be
Speaker 1: inflated a little bit in your mind right now, which
Speaker 1: is also another reason why you should realize it's not
Speaker 1: gonna happen overnight. It's it's it's throughout a long enough
Speaker 1: time maybe that that inflation of romanticism will either fade
Speaker 1: or continue to grow. It will give you a better
Speaker 1: chance to kind of assess it that way and understand
Speaker 1: him as a person. And it is a little bit
Speaker 1: more challenging because I guess you said you've never had
Speaker 1: a boyfriend, right, And I guess I had had a
Speaker 1: couple of girlfriends up to that point, so maybe I
Speaker 1: was a little more familiar with it. But um, I
Speaker 1: think that, yeah, I think that as long as you're
Speaker 1: kind of there and you, I just don't think that
Speaker 1: you should move too quickly with it. You should kind
Speaker 1: of let it play out. And you you don't want
Speaker 1: to get on her radar if somebody who's trying to
Speaker 1: take him away. All right, that's a good point. I see.
Speaker 1: All right, I have one last question, all right, late
Speaker 1: honest allly, Okay, So I was I didn't watch the
Speaker 1: season as a Bachelor, but I watched the bachelom Paradise,
Speaker 1: and I really want to know, is there any chance
Speaker 1: that you and Christina, whatever happen is again? Um? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I think anything is possible. Um Um. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think that there are there's a lot
Speaker 1: of things working against us, but there's also a lot
Speaker 1: of things working for us. Um. But it's it's really
Speaker 1: hard to say. It's obviously not entirely up to me,
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I think it's similar to what
Speaker 1: you have going on. It's just a matter of letting
Speaker 1: time unfold and really see what happens. But if she
Speaker 1: were entering into it, would you be interested. I think
Speaker 1: that there's so many external factors that you have to
Speaker 1: account for. I don't know if if everything I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like America wants it. Well, that's not
Speaker 1: reason enough for me. American can want whatever they want.
Speaker 1: Um No, I mean Christine and I like, like we
Speaker 1: still we still talk, we still have conversations. Um. I
Speaker 1: think to the to the advice that I gave you,
Speaker 1: what her and I are currently doing is working on,
Speaker 1: you know, having open line of communication, uh, kind of
Speaker 1: building a friendship and then seeing what could bossom from that.
Speaker 1: And I think that's important in any relationship. I think
Speaker 1: that if you're able to to be friends with someone
Speaker 1: and then move into a romantic situation with them, then
Speaker 1: that's all the better because I think then you're more
Speaker 1: you know more about who they are, and you know
Speaker 1: kind of what you're getting yourself into. So um. The
Speaker 1: difficult thing with the whole Bachelor Nation is everything is
Speaker 1: kind of on an expedited timeline, and so you're expected
Speaker 1: to move very very quickly over the small amount of time. Um.
Speaker 1: But you said your nineteen. I mean you have so
Speaker 1: much time. Um, we're both twenty six, so you know
Speaker 1: we have a little bit less time than you. But UM,
Speaker 1: I just think that it's it's unfair to yourself to
Speaker 1: put an unnecessary timeline on it. So that's that's why
Speaker 1: that's my long winded answer. All right, Well, I really
Speaker 1: hope things work out well. Ali, thank you for calling in.
Speaker 1: I hope things work out with you and this mystery
Speaker 1: man that you have group projects with. But um, thank
Speaker 1: you for calling in. Thank you. All right, I have
Speaker 1: an email about that mentions Christina, and I think this
Speaker 1: would be a good time to mention it. Okay, I
Speaker 1: think you'll like it. You you're I can tell about
Speaker 1: to look on your eyes like, oh boy. I just
Speaker 1: don't like the Christina questions. It's not a question, it's
Speaker 1: a comment that I think you'll agree with. This is tally.
Speaker 1: She says, I don't feel that you led Christina on
Speaker 1: to the point of forgetting as much attention as she
Speaker 1: did from it, her point being it's overblown. She doesn't
Speaker 1: think you were as bad a guy to Christina as
Speaker 1: you're being made out to be. Um. Well, I fully
Speaker 1: agree with that. See, I told you you'd like. I
Speaker 1: think I'm by no means of my innocent. I definitely
Speaker 1: made mistakes with that relationship with other relationships. Um, but
Speaker 1: I do think that it was magnified and amplified a
Speaker 1: little bit more than what it really was in reality. Um.
Speaker 1: But again that's not my place to decide. You know,
Speaker 1: everyone kind of has their own way of reacting to everything, right, UM,
Speaker 1: So it's it's really hard for me to say that
Speaker 1: people blew it out of proportion because that's just the
Speaker 1: way that they hit Well, you know what they say,
Speaker 1: when life gives you lemons, do a podcast about it,
Speaker 1: and here we are in episode eight. She also says, tally,
Speaker 1: my X and I have been on and off for
Speaker 1: four years and now we're just talking again, seeing each
Speaker 1: other basically what one would call dating. But he won't
Speaker 1: commit and I don't want to bring it up since
Speaker 1: everything has been really nice and it's the best that's
Speaker 1: ever been. What is the one piece that keeps a
Speaker 1: guy from committing fully to a girl, especially one that
Speaker 1: he has committed to before. Could it always just be
Speaker 1: because there's potential for another girl, something better? This is
Speaker 1: what we referred to as the bigger better syndrome where
Speaker 1: guys won't commit because they think there's always something better
Speaker 1: out there. It's like when guys are watching TV, they're
Speaker 1: flipping through the channel, flip flip, flip flip. They'll never
Speaker 1: sit and watch anything, sometimes to even minimize what they're
Speaker 1: watching and keep looking, looking, looking, because there's always a
Speaker 1: better show out there. And this is kind of how
Speaker 1: guys are wired. So let's get back to her first question.
Speaker 1: The one thing that keeps guys from committing fully, Dane,
Speaker 1: the one thing that keeps guys from committing fully. Well, so,
Speaker 1: it sounds like she's had her lung relationship with this guy.
Speaker 1: They broke up and now they're just dating casually. I
Speaker 1: wonder if that means when she says he's not committing,
Speaker 1: that he's having he's pursuing an open relationship with her,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that it's never any fun for anyone. No,
Speaker 1: but you're right, sometimes you go back to an XT
Speaker 1: for that purpose. Sure, but if you're dating someone, you
Speaker 1: could still be in a monos anogamous, noncommitted relationship. I
Speaker 1: guess if that makes sense. I feel like, if things
Speaker 1: are good, if she's happy, but she is saying that
Speaker 1: he needs to commit to her. What does that mean,
Speaker 1: Like he needs to be her boyfriend. She wants that
Speaker 1: conversation to happen, and she wants to be a boyfriend
Speaker 1: and girlfriend like they used to be. He hesitant. I
Speaker 1: think it's got to be one of two reasons. One
Speaker 1: is that he just he's in that bigger better syndrome
Speaker 1: moment where he thinks there might be something better out there.
Speaker 1: Or number two, maybe he got hurt the first time,
Speaker 1: real bad and he's worried about getting hurt again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's maybe giving him too much credit, but that's a possibility,
Speaker 1: so to that, I don't I don't know. Maybe this
Speaker 1: is a little bit off topic, but for me, I
Speaker 1: personally require like a label to be put on the relationship,
Speaker 1: Like I want to be someone's boyfriend. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be dating them, you know. I'd rather be able
Speaker 1: to say this is my girlfriend, now, this is the
Speaker 1: girl that I'm dating. Um, of course it has to
Speaker 1: be the right person and the right girl. And I
Speaker 1: guess obviously we don't fully understand the situation quite as well.
Speaker 1: But UM, someone something that can stop him from committing.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think like you said, it's the bigger
Speaker 1: better syndrome right there, Maybe he's looking for someone else
Speaker 1: or at the end of the day, like I think
Speaker 1: that if she's happy, and if he's treating her well,
Speaker 1: and if their relationship seems to be progressing, then I
Speaker 1: think when you kind of put the unnecessary uh expectation
Speaker 1: of a relationship like hey, you need to make your
Speaker 1: mind up now about what we're going to be in
Speaker 1: our relationship, I think that's kind of putting a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure on it and a lot of strain on
Speaker 1: the relationship, which could sometimes be negative, but scare as
Speaker 1: a guy for sure. And also I think one thing
Speaker 1: I do think, and I've been here before, it's not
Speaker 1: quite bigger better, but you feel like if I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: it is bigger better, I guess because thinking if I'm
Speaker 1: fully her boyfriend, well, gosh, there's this girl that I
Speaker 1: se get Starbucks. Sure, this girl it works. That's kind
Speaker 1: of seems like she's interested. He's just keeping his options open,
Speaker 1: which is not great for tally. So maybe if she
Speaker 1: can't handle that, it might be time to move on.
Speaker 1: Because you don't want to give him an ultimatum, but
Speaker 1: I think maybe just say to him Look, it's clearly
Speaker 1: not you're not into this, and that's cool, but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. So I've been given the ultimatum before. I've
Speaker 1: been given the ultimatum of hey, you either be my
Speaker 1: boyfriend or we don't talk anymore, and I chose the
Speaker 1: boyfriend route. This is my ex ex ex girlfriend, whatever
Speaker 1: it is. Have we spoken to her on this show.
Speaker 1: We have not spoken to her on this show. We're
Speaker 1: next week. We're friends. I mean, like she's she's a great,
Speaker 1: great girl, all that kind of stuff. But um, I
Speaker 1: think that every I think ultimatum is never a good
Speaker 1: thing in a relationship. I think that if you, if
Speaker 1: you make the person have to have that make that choice,
Speaker 1: it should be kind of more like a collective, amicable decision.
Speaker 1: I think, But you chose boyfriend. How long did that?
Speaker 1: I'll read around a year? Okay. I like to come
Speaker 1: to the defense of the ultimatum because the woman who's
Speaker 1: now my wife, we have known each other for a
Speaker 1: very long time, very long time, and things got to
Speaker 1: a point in our friendship where they started to become
Speaker 1: a little romantic. But the man would not fully commit
Speaker 1: to her. Uh not because I was thinking there's anything
Speaker 1: bigger or better. I just, um, I was afraid. I
Speaker 1: valued our friendship quite a bit. I was afraid of losing,
Speaker 1: you know, because I mean, your boyfriend things anything badly,
Speaker 1: kiss anything, exactly, very close friends. But we didn't. And
Speaker 1: then when things started becoming physical and such, that went
Speaker 1: on for a few months, longer than it should have.
Speaker 1: And then she said, hey, you know that I can't
Speaker 1: do this anymore either we we just we can't do
Speaker 1: this anymore, or or you are my boyfriend now, like
Speaker 1: and I And as soon as she said that, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm your boyfriend. And it really like got me to
Speaker 1: man up, you know, and like, really, okay, you know
Speaker 1: this is like and really value with this relationship in
Speaker 1: the situation. And uh, and now I'm married to her
Speaker 1: and I'm having ever been And I really think that
Speaker 1: if she hadn't thank you, I really think if she
Speaker 1: hadn't done it, I probably would have been in that
Speaker 1: world for you know, in perpetuous interesting too, because guys
Speaker 1: are scared to jump sometimes and maybe they need to
Speaker 1: push sometimes. Yeah. Could you argue that a marriage proposal
Speaker 1: is basically giving the person an ultimatum you either or
Speaker 1: you don't? Often say no, and that goes and then
Speaker 1: they just can go back to normally. I was going
Speaker 1: to dating. Let's talk to Charlene in Detroit where it's
Speaker 1: very chilly right now. Hey, Charlene, this is Dean. Thank
Speaker 1: you for calling it. How are you, hi, Keen? I'm great.
Speaker 1: How are you? I'm doing well? What questions? So? I
Speaker 1: have Mark Eastern Antonian Studio. You're talking all of us.
Speaker 1: What's the question for us? Well, I guess I'm not
Speaker 1: great because I really suck a beating. So um. The
Speaker 1: reason I called is I tend to always date the
Speaker 1: exact same type of person, somebody who is at like
Speaker 1: some sort of stop in their career or some sort
Speaker 1: of leg and need like emotional support, like somebody to
Speaker 1: be there rock. And then what always happens is I'm
Speaker 1: always that person because I'm too empathetic and too nice.
Speaker 1: And then when they're back on the up and up,
Speaker 1: they get to meet every time. Okay, sorry, I was
Speaker 1: taking a Instagram store and a little bit. Charlene, give me,
Speaker 1: let me summarize. Doesn't have to give me the whole
Speaker 1: thing again. Guys come to her that are having a
Speaker 1: hard time in life. They need help, and she helps
Speaker 1: them through it. She's their rock for them, and then
Speaker 1: she gets them back on their feet and ready to date,
Speaker 1: and they don't. Then they move on from her, and
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, I'm right here. I would be perfect
Speaker 1: for you. Is that kind of accurate? Yeah? Perfect? I'm like,
Speaker 1: I got you here. What is this? So you are
Speaker 1: you helping these people because you have like you have
Speaker 1: like a crush on them pretty much? Yeah? Yeah. Also
Speaker 1: because I have like a great job, I have a
Speaker 1: lot of ways, but I can help people. So I
Speaker 1: always get too empathetic and I lift people up and then,
Speaker 1: like I said, they get on the up and up
Speaker 1: and then they get cocky and they leave. What's wrong
Speaker 1: with them to begin with? Are they going through a breakup? Um?
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's people's careers, like, um, I tend to date
Speaker 1: always like athletes that are on a loan in their career, um,
Speaker 1: and they need like emotional support and then they go
Speaker 1: score the winning touchdown and it's bye bye Charley. Yeah,
Speaker 1: They're gone. It's terrible. I think Tanya has to chime
Speaker 1: in on this one. I I have been you many times,
Speaker 1: so I can really relate to this, and I think
Speaker 1: that the best advice that I can give you is
Speaker 1: you can't invest so much in these relationships because I
Speaker 1: think I am the same exact way. I'm a cancer,
Speaker 1: so I give so much. Are you a cancer to Yes?
Speaker 1: This makes perfect sense because we give so much, So
Speaker 1: we invest so much into these relationship hips with the
Speaker 1: with the expectation that it's going to turn into something different.
Speaker 1: You cannot have that expectation in any relationship. You have
Speaker 1: to only give to people that are giving to you
Speaker 1: as well. So I think like the best advice is
Speaker 1: to not I know it sounds so bad because it's
Speaker 1: your natural instinct to be this way, but you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't invest so much in these guys until they
Speaker 1: start investing in you. That's what I had to do,
Speaker 1: and it's helped. I mean, I'm still single, but it's
Speaker 1: helped not let me get let down so much. How
Speaker 1: How did you stop though? You can't just stop caring
Speaker 1: about something. You have to really really try hard, and
Speaker 1: it goes against everything in your body. Like, I know,
Speaker 1: I can relate to you so much because it's it's
Speaker 1: just your natural instinct to be that way, so I
Speaker 1: have to really try to reel it in, and you
Speaker 1: just have you just have to make an effort because
Speaker 1: if you don't, if you don't change anything, it's just
Speaker 1: going to continue to hurt you. And you're going to
Speaker 1: start seeing a pattern where you start getting into relationships
Speaker 1: with guys who are supern eadie and they kind of
Speaker 1: treat you as their mommy and the next thing you know,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna be happy with that either. It's a
Speaker 1: perpetual pattern of pain, as I like to call it,
Speaker 1: the three piece, So you have to be very mindful. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah, you just described that perfectly, So thank you.
Speaker 1: Good luck. Charlene. I'm sorry, that's uh. I couldn't be
Speaker 1: more help, but it sounds like Tanya kind of nail
Speaker 1: it on the head. Yeah, you're the worst. All right,
Speaker 1: let's go to the next collar. Bye, Charlene, thank you,
Speaker 1: she's gone. Okay, you're Melissa and New York. Go ahead. Hey, Melissa,
Speaker 1: thank you for calling. This is Dean. What's your question?
Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you? I'm doing well?
Speaker 1: What question do you have for us? We have It's
Speaker 1: me Mark Eastern Antania in studio right now. So you
Speaker 1: have a panel of four experts. Oh awesome, Tanya, love
Speaker 1: you so much. On Ryan Show. I love you, thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Yeah, um, you all are amazing too.
Speaker 1: Um but my question was like, I'm super shy and
Speaker 1: I hate going up to people like randomly, like when
Speaker 1: I'm out of the bar, like I hate going up
Speaker 1: to guys that's just like not me, like ever, and
Speaker 1: like being in New York like everyone just like super
Speaker 1: annoying sometimes. So what is your advice for that? Like
Speaker 1: how can I overcome it? Um? Well, I think that
Speaker 1: despite what everyone else in studio thinks, I'm incredibly shy
Speaker 1: as well. I don't really like approaching people. Do you
Speaker 1: do you have guys approaching you at the bars or
Speaker 1: how do you normally meet people? I mean yeah, but
Speaker 1: I just like I'm like, so, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just don't like meeting people that way sometimes. I just
Speaker 1: like to meet people like in smaller groups, just like organically,
Speaker 1: like whenever I go out was just like annoying. Um well,
Speaker 1: I go out in New York City, but I live
Speaker 1: in Hoboken, Okay, gotcha? Um? Yeah, I mean I think
Speaker 1: that if you it's hard to be the shy person,
Speaker 1: especially when you go out with a group of friends,
Speaker 1: because it seems like you're always the one that's kind
Speaker 1: of not meeting people, or you're meeting the wrong people
Speaker 1: because the ones that come up to you typically aren't
Speaker 1: the biggest catches in the world. You know that. I
Speaker 1: would say like five percent of guys are willing to
Speaker 1: approach the girl. Yeah, so I don't know. What What
Speaker 1: do you got? I got Tanya? You love her because
Speaker 1: Tany is gonna have some good advice for what to
Speaker 1: say to a guy in a barn. I love that.
Speaker 1: I don't love you being in bars meeting guys. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's great. I don't think it's ideal. I
Speaker 1: don't either, and so and so I don't think you
Speaker 1: should force yourself. I don't think so. I I that
Speaker 1: when I first moved to Los Angeles and I was
Speaker 1: kind of single because my girlfriend was back in Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: and so I we're in this weird, nebulous area, and
Speaker 1: so I'd go out to bars with these guys because
Speaker 1: I felt obligated to, like, well, i'm single and i'm
Speaker 1: twenty six, and this is what you do. And I
Speaker 1: was miserable every minute I was there. And I was
Speaker 1: way too shy to approach any girls because it's Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I mean, forget it. I just got here, so I
Speaker 1: couldn't do it, so I stopped, and that actually worked
Speaker 1: much better because you're gonna get to know people more
Speaker 1: at work, at school, just personally, and the more they
Speaker 1: know you as a person, the more they're gonna like you,
Speaker 1: and then something blossom from there. All right, now, I'll
Speaker 1: turn it over to Tany and see what she has
Speaker 1: for you. Okay, So I like to call this dropping
Speaker 1: the handkerchief So I don't think you necessarily have to
Speaker 1: go up to a guy at a bar and like
Speaker 1: lay a one liner on him or beat you know,
Speaker 1: because I think, you know, there is something nice about
Speaker 1: being shy, but there's also something about dropping the handkerchiefs
Speaker 1: so that the guy knows that you're interested and then
Speaker 1: he can pursue you. So if there's a guy standing
Speaker 1: next to the bar, you can walk up to him
Speaker 1: and maybe order yourself a drink, and you can look
Speaker 1: at his drink and say, oh, oh, what is that?
Speaker 1: You know? I want to try something tonight. I'll have
Speaker 1: what he's having, and then you open up the conversation
Speaker 1: to like start talking to him, and if he doesn't
Speaker 1: engage with you, then find by who cares cut your losses.
Speaker 1: But it's like, there's certain ways to engage in conversation
Speaker 1: without necessarily dropping a one liner and having to be flirty,
Speaker 1: just having a conversation with a normal person that you
Speaker 1: meet out. So I like to call it draw up
Speaker 1: in the handkerchief, whether it's making eye contact and smiling,
Speaker 1: like letting them know that it's okay to approach you,
Speaker 1: because I think it's also really intimidating for a guy
Speaker 1: to look at a group of girls and say, oh,
Speaker 1: I like her. But if you look over and smile
Speaker 1: at him and he sees that, then he's more likely
Speaker 1: to come and talk to you. And there definitely has
Speaker 1: to be a level of approachability because if you're with
Speaker 1: a group of girls, again, like that guy that comes
Speaker 1: up to you nine times out of ten is going
Speaker 1: to be the guy that you don't want to be dating.
Speaker 1: But if you're, if you make yourself more approable, whether
Speaker 1: it's I don't know, being in a small group, not
Speaker 1: going out with like a guy friend, because no guy
Speaker 1: really feels comfortable going up to a guy that has
Speaker 1: a guy friend, whether it's you know, platonic, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: So I think there's a level of approachability that maybe
Speaker 1: will attract the more desirable guys that you're looking for.
Speaker 1: Or you can do what my roommate does and has
Speaker 1: one of her girlfriends give the guy her number on
Speaker 1: a napkin. So there's lots of different ways you can
Speaker 1: do that. Every time I approached the girl out in public,
Speaker 1: it was always at a place that where we were
Speaker 1: guaranteed have a shared interest, like at a record store
Speaker 1: or something like, oh, you're looking for the Shrek soundtrack too,
Speaker 1: and like you know things like that, Like I feel
Speaker 1: like that's an exact conversation you had a record store.
Speaker 1: Yes it is um, but you know, I don't drink,
Speaker 1: so I've never I don't hang out at bars um,
Speaker 1: but I would talk to you know, I asked a
Speaker 1: lot of girls out in my time, back back in
Speaker 1: my day that was quite quite the quite the hound
Speaker 1: dog out on the scene. But it was always like
Speaker 1: a coffee shop or or a record store or like
Speaker 1: the gym or something like that, something where you're gonna
Speaker 1: have something to talk about. You don't have to just
Speaker 1: have to go up and you know, have a cold.
Speaker 1: One miner, a girl up to a guy is kind
Speaker 1: of hilarious if you looked up to a guy and
Speaker 1: so awkward and I get like so like much more
Speaker 1: like weird if I try to flirt, but that's endearing.
Speaker 1: All right, listen, here's here's a fullproof plan to find
Speaker 1: your soul mates. So what you should do is where
Speaker 1: at all times were a very bright red shirt and
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you just go about
Speaker 1: your day as you normally would. And at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, uh, maybe every day you get home
Speaker 1: and you check miss connections on Craigslist and then you
Speaker 1: just type in the keywords red shirts. And this way,
Speaker 1: the person that sees the misconnections, you'll just be living
Speaker 1: your life as you normally would, and they'll find that attractive,
Speaker 1: which means that they're just genuinely interested in you. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm going to get killed that way. It's
Speaker 1: kind of a hail marriage, all right. Well, Melissa, we
Speaker 1: hope that helps. Thank you for calling in. Yeah, thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much. Good day. Are you too? Time
Speaker 1: to turn this around on you? Dean. Julia emailed us
Speaker 1: and she has some thoughts on your dating issues. She
Speaker 1: thinks she can help you. And then we have an
Speaker 1: advice call for you, Julia says, I think I can
Speaker 1: sum up Dean's dating issues with two of his own statements. Yeah,
Speaker 1: using your own words against you here. Number one, I
Speaker 1: refuse to use soap, but I will not date someone
Speaker 1: who doesn't use soap. I said that once. Yes, this
Speaker 1: is like me saying I hate going to the gym,
Speaker 1: but I will not date a guy who does not
Speaker 1: go to the gym. That's a little different, but okay, okay.
Speaker 1: And number two, I like to keep relationships with ex girlfriends,
Speaker 1: but would be bothered by a girl were still talking
Speaker 1: to about boyfriends. Yep said that to double standards will
Speaker 1: not get Dean foreign relationships, relationships, or about compromise and
Speaker 1: the realization that neither person is perfect. That is Julia, Okay, Julia,
Speaker 1: to your point, I think that both of those statements
Speaker 1: that I made are a bit inherently hypocritical. I can't
Speaker 1: argue with you there. I think that in the in
Speaker 1: defense of those statements, the soap thing, it's it's not
Speaker 1: for lack of I'm still clean. I think with the soap,
Speaker 1: I don't smell bad, I still smell good, I still
Speaker 1: feel clean, I still am clean, And I think that
Speaker 1: it kind of. It was maybe perceived wrong when I
Speaker 1: said it, but I can understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: To the other wolves other one, I can't. I don't
Speaker 1: want my ex I don't want the girl i'm seeing
Speaker 1: to talk to her exes, but I'll talk to my exis.
Speaker 1: I think that maybe just stems from the trust issues
Speaker 1: that I have. Is because I trust myself in that situation,
Speaker 1: but it's harder for me to trust someone that has
Speaker 1: had that romantic pass with their X whatever it is
Speaker 1: UM and I guess it varies to like, if I'm
Speaker 1: dating someone who has a history of having like bad xes,
Speaker 1: or like someone that like mistreats them or manipulates them
Speaker 1: something like that, then I feel much more comfortable by
Speaker 1: saying I don't think it's necessary. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: appropriate for you to be hanging out with them just
Speaker 1: because of what he's done to you in the past
Speaker 1: versus me. I do have a couple of, you know,
Speaker 1: ex girlfriends that I don't I would have no interest
Speaker 1: in pursuing a friendship with. But a lot of the
Speaker 1: girls that I've dated, I've dated them because they are
Speaker 1: very genuinely good people, and I see the utility in
Speaker 1: maintaining a friendship with them because they just kind of
Speaker 1: like it was positivity and I appreciate that. Um, So
Speaker 1: that's kind of where that those two statements came. She
Speaker 1: had an ex who used positivity, it was a great guy.
Speaker 1: Maybe it'd be a little bit more open to that.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, absolutely, I think that maybe. And again
Speaker 1: I was kind of just drawing from recent experience. Um,
Speaker 1: this girl who I dated recently has an ex who
Speaker 1: has a track record of being an incredibly horrible person,
Speaker 1: and I think we were talking about it once. Um,
Speaker 1: I got lunch with my ex girlfriend, and um, I
Speaker 1: told her about that, and she brought it up. And
Speaker 1: it's just it was a complete different situation because, um,
Speaker 1: this guy obviously was not good to her. He didn't
Speaker 1: treat her well, he was incredibly manipulating all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. And so it's harder for me to get
Speaker 1: behind a friendship like that when I know that he
Speaker 1: probably has ulterior motives to to kind of going out
Speaker 1: to lunch and trying to like mend a friendship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard to trust that. It's hard to trust their
Speaker 1: why they want to hang out with your girlfriend, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that, but yeah, yeah, I don't know. So
Speaker 1: if that makes sense, I guess maybe. I guess it
Speaker 1: stems from trust issues that I have, probably, and it's
Speaker 1: tough because you can't put yourself in their shoes. You
Speaker 1: don't know these guys. They're just guys who may have
Speaker 1: ulterior motives. You know your exes and you know if
Speaker 1: they're safe or not right. All right, shall we go
Speaker 1: back to the phone. I have good news for you.
Speaker 1: The woman who called with a dating advice for you
Speaker 1: dropped off, So congratulations that hopefully it wasn't very good.
Speaker 1: Let's see what Alex in Colorado have to say. Hey, Alex,
Speaker 1: thank you for calling in. How are you? I'm good? UM, An,
Speaker 1: apologies for my voice. I'm kind of sick right now.
Speaker 1: What's your question or what's your what are you looking
Speaker 1: for some advice? Okay? UM, so I needed like life,
Speaker 1: I guess. UM. I was talking to this guy for
Speaker 1: probably like three weeks, and you know, like we have chemistry.
Speaker 1: It was pretty good. I feel like every you know,
Speaker 1: all the right things that he could have said he
Speaker 1: was saying, and then you know, we met up once.
Speaker 1: UM hung out and stuff, and that was probably like
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, and now it's just like silence.
Speaker 1: I think there's nothing. And then I texted it on Saturday.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you know, are you doing okay? And
Speaker 1: I still haven't gotten a response yet, so I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. I think you should just forget
Speaker 1: about him and move on. I think you have to. Um.
Speaker 1: This is Marking East in Studio, by the way, So
Speaker 1: I think that if if I were to put myself
Speaker 1: in that situation, I think that he either is dating
Speaker 1: someone else, has a relationship with someone else, is uninterested,
Speaker 1: and I just don't think it's necessarily worth you wasting
Speaker 1: your time or you don't even just thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I think you should just kind of move on to
Speaker 1: the next guy. That's my advice. I think you know
Speaker 1: in your heart that this was not the guy for you,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. There's gonna be a lot of those guys,
Speaker 1: and it's good that you know sooner than later. I agree. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So at this point, I think you've only invested a
Speaker 1: few weeks, so you're kind of getting out ahead. Still.
Speaker 1: That's just that's that's what I Yeah, for sure, thanks, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing too, So we'll stay
Speaker 1: warm out in Colorado. Okay, thank you for calling in. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, appreciate it. I have a great thing. Hey, Abby,
Speaker 1: thank you for calling in. This is Dean. How are
Speaker 1: you hi? I'm good. How are you good? Thank you
Speaker 1: for for holding for so long? What what question do
Speaker 1: you have? Okay? So I went on a date with
Speaker 1: a guy and then everything went really well, and he
Speaker 1: even said it went well. And then a few days
Speaker 1: later he um basically said that he was still hung
Speaker 1: up on his ex and that he just wanted to
Speaker 1: be friends. And I was cool at that. And then
Speaker 1: about two weeks later I saw that he had a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: and so I was just wondering why instead of saying
Speaker 1: he just wasn't interested, um that he said he wasn't
Speaker 1: ready for a girlfriend. And then he got a girlfriend
Speaker 1: two weeks later. And this girl that is his girlfriend
Speaker 1: now is different than his ex girlfriends. Oh, I just
Speaker 1: think he lied to you. I think I think I
Speaker 1: think he alled you to spare having to say that
Speaker 1: he was either uninterested or found someone else that he
Speaker 1: wanted to date. Um. I mean, it's it's kind of
Speaker 1: the classic move you know, you say, you can't really
Speaker 1: argue with someone for having feelings for their X, so
Speaker 1: it kind of like ends the end of the conversation
Speaker 1: without sack argument classic it's not you, it's me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't understand, like why he would just straight
Speaker 1: up tell me he's not interested. Well, it's because him,
Speaker 1: like so many of us, is he's just a woss
Speaker 1: He's scared to to say what really is the case
Speaker 1: because he doesn't want to make you feel bad. He
Speaker 1: doesn't want to make himself feel bad for making you
Speaker 1: feel bad. Um, we talked about ghosting last week. Why
Speaker 1: do people ghost? Yeah, this is kind of in the
Speaker 1: same family. Yeah, you ghost because you're too much of
Speaker 1: a worst to say I'm not interested in you, Because
Speaker 1: that's a that's a rough thing to say. And believe me,
Speaker 1: I've been on the other side of it. I wish
Speaker 1: so much that all three women that ghosted we would
Speaker 1: have just said, look, I'm not interested, because then I
Speaker 1: could just cut the chord and move on quickly. Rather
Speaker 1: oh maybe someday, who knows what might happen in the future. No,
Speaker 1: that interested, I could move on. It's the same thing
Speaker 1: to say I'm not interested in you is kind of insulting.
Speaker 1: And so for him to say I'm really hung up
Speaker 1: at my ex true or not, that probably wasn't the reason. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like even he told me, he was like, well, we
Speaker 1: I never know what will be down the road. So
Speaker 1: it cut me. Like, so he's trying to keep he's
Speaker 1: trying to keep his options open. He's trying to kind
Speaker 1: of keep you on a tether. I think we talked
Speaker 1: about this last week or maybe the week before that
Speaker 1: a little bit. By by saying something like that instead
Speaker 1: of saying I'm not interested in you. By saying what
Speaker 1: he said or ghosting someone, it kind of leaves the
Speaker 1: avenue open for later on. You know, if if maybe
Speaker 1: him and this new girlfriend break up and you're still single,
Speaker 1: then he can reach back out. But if he says
Speaker 1: he's not interested, then it kind of closes the door
Speaker 1: a little bit more fully than than otherwise, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. So I would say personally, be don't entertain
Speaker 1: the idea of getting back together with him if he
Speaker 1: breaks up with his girlfriend. That's my suggestion. And obviously
Speaker 1: just just move on and maybe put it behind you,
Speaker 1: because again, I think guys have this way of thinking
Speaker 1: they're doing the right thing and being mature about it.
Speaker 1: I'm guilty of this as well, but in reality it
Speaker 1: just is a little bit more confusing and a little
Speaker 1: bit more hurtful from the woman's perspective. I agree, and
Speaker 1: this may become a kind of a theme of this show.
Speaker 1: This is not the guy for you, and it's great
Speaker 1: that you know that now rather than down the line,
Speaker 1: and you can move on. Yeah, but good luck. I'm
Speaker 1: sure I hope the next guy that comes along, um
Speaker 1: is your guy. I think that it's just just a
Speaker 1: matter of time. Right, Someday, when you're married and with kids,
Speaker 1: you're going to be laughing about that you were ever
Speaker 1: interested in this guy? Yeah, of course, good luck, Abby,
Speaker 1: Thank you? Should we take a call from a guy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Brian and San Jose. Brian, how's it going? Thank you
Speaker 1: for calling in. I'm good. How's it going doing? Hey, Brian,
Speaker 1: you are the very first male caller we've ever had
Speaker 1: on the show, So thank you so much. Really, Oh
Speaker 1: that's good. How are you? What I questioned? You ask?
Speaker 1: So I'll give you a little background about me. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm like early twenties. I just moved out to San Jose,
Speaker 1: California college graduate, working full time now, and I'm in
Speaker 1: a new kind of a new area, and I don't
Speaker 1: really know too many people. So in the past I've
Speaker 1: been using dating apps like tender Bumble Coffee Stable, but
Speaker 1: I seem to be going in circles in terms of
Speaker 1: like my dating life, and I just wanted to know
Speaker 1: what are some suggestions you have for how I can
Speaker 1: put myself out there more beyond just like my phone.
Speaker 1: So you just moved to San Jose, have you do
Speaker 1: you have like any friends out there or you just
Speaker 1: kind of moved out there all by yourself. I have
Speaker 1: a couple of friends, Like I have a roommate that
Speaker 1: I've known for a while. Um, aside from that, maybe
Speaker 1: like all of my friends live in San Francisco, but uh,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm an hour away in San Jose, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of on my own kind of not Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I think it's definitely a tough situation to be
Speaker 1: in when you move somewhere new. Um. I moved to
Speaker 1: Los Angeles about two and a half years ago with
Speaker 1: one of my great friends and then we I had
Speaker 1: a couple of other friends out here fortunately that I
Speaker 1: was able to kind of like lean on and hang
Speaker 1: out with to meet new people. I think. I think, honestly,
Speaker 1: the best thing that you can do is just like
Speaker 1: as often as they're going out, or as often as
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable going out, do that to to meet
Speaker 1: new people, right. I mean, obviously it's kind of like
Speaker 1: the cliche, but um, I think that as difficult as
Speaker 1: they can be. When I first moved here, um, I
Speaker 1: was using Bumble and I met you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of friends that I still have now through the app. Um.
Speaker 1: So it's really just a matter of I don't know,
Speaker 1: being able to what I did to actually was. I
Speaker 1: said yes to a lot of things too. I would
Speaker 1: never really say no to to meeting someone or a
Speaker 1: new opportunity because that's opened up a lot more avenues
Speaker 1: for me, um in terms of friendships, relationships, all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And again, I know it's all very
Speaker 1: um kind of what you expect to hear, but if
Speaker 1: you're early twenties, you just move somewhere new, the best
Speaker 1: thing that you can do is kind of open yourself
Speaker 1: up to as many opportunities as possible. What do you do?
Speaker 1: I like that? What do you do? Brian? A lot
Speaker 1: of things I work at LinkedIn a shout out to
Speaker 1: my team. I'm pretty sure they're gonna listen to this.
Speaker 1: Um nice. Well, hey, if they listen to it, tell
Speaker 1: them to endorse me on LinkedIn. It's been a while
Speaker 1: since I signed in the mind, but one of my
Speaker 1: one of the people on my team, they like your
Speaker 1: LinkedIn profile because you have dogs on your as your header.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was pretty cool too. Well. I'm definitely
Speaker 1: obsessed with dogs, and as a recruiter, I tried to
Speaker 1: I tried to convey some of my love for them
Speaker 1: over my LinkedIn profile. That's funny that, I guess. I
Speaker 1: haven't looked at it, But aren't there a lot of
Speaker 1: super smart tech girls working at LinkedIn? Do you not
Speaker 1: want to date in the office? I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: really into, like, you know, in our office dating. I
Speaker 1: like a firm believer of don't. I don't don't know
Speaker 1: how there go. Yeah, I can get awkward, sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I mean me personally, I know if that were
Speaker 1: to ever happen, I just know. Actually I don't even
Speaker 1: want I don't even want to think about that. Just no,
Speaker 1: That's what I don't know for me. How long have
Speaker 1: you lived in San Jose? For must than a year
Speaker 1: less than a year on one year in March. Oh, gotcha.
Speaker 1: So you move about there right after you graduated pretty much? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think the first year is always the
Speaker 1: hardest because you're still like getting used to the new space,
Speaker 1: you know, the new city, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: But um, honestly, I think you kind of gotta keep
Speaker 1: doing what you're doing and keep talking to people, keep
Speaker 1: me working, meeting professional people. Maybe they don't work in
Speaker 1: the office, But I do like a Sharks game as
Speaker 1: a first date. If I could just throw that in there, Sharks,
Speaker 1: all right, I'll keep that in mind. I'm not much
Speaker 1: of a hockey fan, but I'll definitely here's my case,
Speaker 1: and some people disagree with I know tany you disagree
Speaker 1: with me on this, but here's my case for sporting
Speaker 1: events his first dates. At dinner, you're forced to talk
Speaker 1: to each other. The conversation has to keep going, and
Speaker 1: if it lulls for a few minutes, it gets uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: On gosh, we're not clicking, we're not talking. What are
Speaker 1: we gonna say? If you go to a move or
Speaker 1: a show you don't talk at all to each other,
Speaker 1: you barely get to know each other. But at a
Speaker 1: baseball game, a hockey game, a basketball game, you can talk,
Speaker 1: you can watch the game, you can go back and forth.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. What do you want to eat, Let
Speaker 1: me go get it for you. There's just it's just open.
Speaker 1: It's just free. You can do whatever you want. And
Speaker 1: I think it's a great way to get to know somebody.
Speaker 1: That same thing. For miniature golf, I'm alf the first
Speaker 1: because you you get the blood flow and you're walking
Speaker 1: around and if you want anything to talk about, you
Speaker 1: can just start whacking balls into like fake wind mills
Speaker 1: and stuff. In fact, if you go over the hill
Speaker 1: to my hometown of Santa Cruz, California, there's a beautiful
Speaker 1: miniature golf course right there on the boardwalk is back. Now,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about sporting events or miniature golf
Speaker 1: on a first date? A woman's perspective, the worst I
Speaker 1: would rather, I would I would rather do a million
Speaker 1: other things than go to mini golfing or go to
Speaker 1: a sporting event on a first date. So I guess
Speaker 1: you have to know your audience. But I'm saying it's
Speaker 1: it's great for conversation, but the conversation isn't forced. But
Speaker 1: on the first date, you're stuck with a guy and
Speaker 1: you have to sit through an entire game with him. Oh,
Speaker 1: I couldn't think of anything worse. That's hours of your
Speaker 1: life that you'll never get back. I highly recommend on
Speaker 1: our first date anything that you can have an exit
Speaker 1: strategy for drinks, but you're going in with a negative attitude.
Speaker 1: I clearly didn't date that much because you need to
Speaker 1: go in with that attitude. I think you need an exit.
Speaker 1: I think Brian is a catch though he's a college graduate,
Speaker 1: just moved worse for LinkedIn lives in San Jose, So
Speaker 1: no one's going to need an exit strategy to get
Speaker 1: rid of Brian. That's what you think, Brian, nothing I
Speaker 1: can see. Yeah. On the flip side, I mean I
Speaker 1: do agree with that because I always think, Okay, how
Speaker 1: can I get out of this too? Like in case
Speaker 1: to go self, because if you get drinks and it's
Speaker 1: going really great, you can say, hey, do you have
Speaker 1: plans for dinner? I'd love to take you to dinner.
Speaker 1: But if it's going terrible, you can say, oh, I
Speaker 1: actually made plans for my for dinner with my friends.
Speaker 1: It was so lovely meeting you have a nice night. Bye.
Speaker 1: I mean that's pretty good, guys, Okay, trust me. All right,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Brian, I still say stick with the
Speaker 1: stick with the sports, keep it late, tell you never ben. Okay.
Speaker 1: So coming from the girl's perspective, what's a good ideal
Speaker 1: first statement? Do you drink? Yes, occasional. Last yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: open for drinks. I've in the past, I've un coffee, Um, coffee,
Speaker 1: I don't love coffee. Coffee is fine, but I would
Speaker 1: suggest drinks because it's early enough in the day. If
Speaker 1: it goes bad, you have an exit. If it's going great,
Speaker 1: you can extend it. I mean I met a guy
Speaker 1: for a first day for drinks and we had so
Speaker 1: much fun. We went and had dinner after and then
Speaker 1: we went to a different place to have dessert. So
Speaker 1: if it's going well, you can feel the vibe and
Speaker 1: you can extend it. But I always think having something
Speaker 1: short and simple and don't get too crazy on the
Speaker 1: first date. All right, I think Brian and Tan you
Speaker 1: are clicking here personally, slim me your number. I'm team
Speaker 1: Briania right now. All right, Brian, Well, hey, we hope
Speaker 1: that helps. Thank you for being the first mail caller
Speaker 1: on podcast. We do really appreciate it. Um, best of luck, buddy, though,
Speaker 1: We'll we'll circle back around and see how everything else
Speaker 1: is going with in San Jose with you alright? Cool? Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'll probably call in another time, all right,
Speaker 1: take care? Alright? Alright, do you I have good news?
Speaker 1: The woman who had advice for you called back. She's
Speaker 1: bad gets Courtney is Chattanooga, Tennessee. Hey Courtney from Chattanooga.
Speaker 1: How are you good? So your phone dropped? Huh no, okay,
Speaker 1: I do not know what happens. Okay, Well, what's the advice?
Speaker 1: I'm ready for it. Okay, so freezed to just really
Speaker 1: work on your communication skills? What's wrong with my communication skills? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I feel like we know the whole reason to
Speaker 1: go on Bachelors to day to round and day other people,
Speaker 1: But I just feel like if you found someone so
Speaker 1: like you hit it off with someone like really great, like,
Speaker 1: why would you jeopardize that to go on the other
Speaker 1: day with someone else? Plan? Do you get I'm saying
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it's like that's what you wanted
Speaker 1: to do the entire time, and maybe you should have
Speaker 1: said that, like fulle day one, like we hit it off.
Speaker 1: I'm also gonna go on datescause other women. Okay, So
Speaker 1: what I what I did wrong was I didn't communicate
Speaker 1: clearly enough what my intentions were correct, Okay, I mean
Speaker 1: I can't say that you're wrong. I think the challenging
Speaker 1: thing that I had with that whole ordeal was in
Speaker 1: the moment I thought I was being very clear and
Speaker 1: honest about everything, but then watching watching it back, I
Speaker 1: can see how and why you might think that I
Speaker 1: wasn't communicating as clearly as I should have been. Um, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I just felt like in relationships, communication is everything. Like
Speaker 1: if you did not communicate like, well, I give the
Speaker 1: relationships not gonna I feel like it's not going to
Speaker 1: progress or go anywhere. Like you need to be on
Speaker 1: the same page and you need to communicate about like
Speaker 1: everything to make sure the other party understand and it's okay,
Speaker 1: we'll be intentions everything. I just think in that situation too,
Speaker 1: there was a lot going on that I didn't fully understand.
Speaker 1: So I was trying to I was a very confused,
Speaker 1: young little sapling, and I didn't really know what I
Speaker 1: was getting myself into what I was doing. Again, These
Speaker 1: are not excuses. These are not excuses by any means.
Speaker 1: It's just I wasn't I wasn't sure what I wanted,
Speaker 1: So it's hard to communicate something of uncertainty like that,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, And there was a lot of like
Speaker 1: outward pressure on on a lot of the things that
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's justly very it was a very
Speaker 1: unique situation. I thought that by being open and honest
Speaker 1: about everything, because I did have strong feelings for both
Speaker 1: and I thought if I told them that it would
Speaker 1: be okay. Obviously not so much the case. Um, but
Speaker 1: I'm definitely working on the communication side of things. I
Speaker 1: think that even just in the past two months, um,
Speaker 1: three months, however long it's been, I don't I do
Speaker 1: think that I have improved dramatically with communication. I still
Speaker 1: think that I've have a very very long way to
Speaker 1: go by all means. Um. Yeah, but what else is that?
Speaker 1: Is that the main advice point that the communication? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like I need you and Christina to work it
Speaker 1: out somehow. Yeah, it's like I just feel like I
Speaker 1: need to know that. I feel like you date like
Speaker 1: for purpose, like everyone if you want to get married
Speaker 1: to date for purpose. So if you hit it off
Speaker 1: to keep them like really good somewhere that feel like
Speaker 1: you shouldn't want to jeopardize that felt like going like
Speaker 1: if you hit it all the time, you should date
Speaker 1: for a purpose. So you're saying at this point, how
Speaker 1: old are you, Courtney, so we're the same age? Do
Speaker 1: you think that we're getting to the point in life
Speaker 1: where we should be getting dating with a purpose where
Speaker 1: we should only date people that we see a future
Speaker 1: slash wedding slash marriage with. Yeah, so I'm married. We
Speaker 1: just celebrated our war year. Congratulations, thank you, m Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I just feel like it's marriage just what you
Speaker 1: want them waste your time like just playing games and
Speaker 1: leading people on. No, I understand that I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that I'm doing. I don't saying in general, like, if
Speaker 1: that's what you want, then don't screw it up listening
Speaker 1: around or not dating with the purpose. How long were
Speaker 1: you doing your now husband for three years before you
Speaker 1: guys got engaged married? Ye? Okay, see that's a long
Speaker 1: time I think that. I I mean, I definitely want
Speaker 1: to get married, right, I just don't know when I'll
Speaker 1: be ready for it, and I'm not gonna I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to force anything. So I'm trying to I'm trying
Speaker 1: to to act as as genuinely as I would without
Speaker 1: trying to force something Like i'mout trying to have the
Speaker 1: pre conceived notion of I'm going to get married at
Speaker 1: like twenty or something like that. Right, And so I
Speaker 1: don't know how old were you when you knew that
Speaker 1: you were going to marry him? Uh, probably like about
Speaker 1: a year a year and a half after weird dating?
Speaker 1: Is this communication better than line like a very religious
Speaker 1: like that ground? So like he was like tall when
Speaker 1: he was raised to like court women, you know, like
Speaker 1: to date them with the purpose, and like he shows
Speaker 1: that with his actions. That makes sense. And I don't
Speaker 1: appreciate this snicker, by the way, but that's okay. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that there is definitely something to be said
Speaker 1: about uh, that upbringing and how it kind of influences
Speaker 1: people nowadays. I think that people are kind of getting
Speaker 1: away from that whole courtship thing. Um. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know what the root cause of it is, but
Speaker 1: definitely see less and less of it, especially among people
Speaker 1: our age. I'm sure you have friends. I think a
Speaker 1: lot of it has to do with geography, Like Chattanooga
Speaker 1: is a smaller town, so I think that, you know,
Speaker 1: people are a little more prone to to being in
Speaker 1: relationships and kind of yearning for that versus um places
Speaker 1: like Los Angeles is like a very like family oriented
Speaker 1: small town. Feel like, yeah, um, all right, Courtney, will
Speaker 1: thank you for the advice. I'll definitely work up my
Speaker 1: communication and I'll let you know about the whole Christina
Speaker 1: situation too. Yeah. Please, I'm like dying to see We'll
Speaker 1: see you about that one. All right, Courtney will have okay,
Speaker 1: all right bye. I think there is something to be
Speaker 1: said about geography. So even so, I grew up in
Speaker 1: a small town in Colorado. Um, my high school graduated
Speaker 1: with like nine kids, and I think that there were
Speaker 1: several people that I went to the same high school
Speaker 1: of that were maybe a couple of years younger than
Speaker 1: me that I didn't know. Um, grand I knew everyone
Speaker 1: in my graduating classause it was so small. But a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends even from that area, and a
Speaker 1: lot of the people that have reached out to me
Speaker 1: post show have said, I think that growing up in
Speaker 1: the valley has kind of made relationships much more difficult
Speaker 1: for us for one reason another I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I think that in such a small town, everyone's kind
Speaker 1: of really all about each other's business and they kind
Speaker 1: of know every facet and everything that's going on at
Speaker 1: every given time. Um, I don't know how that could
Speaker 1: be constructive or destructive. But even like you look at
Speaker 1: like towns in the like South or Southeast corridor of
Speaker 1: the United States, I think a lot of those small
Speaker 1: town areas like they kind of are brought up thinking, uh,
Speaker 1: being instilled with like a relationship ideas like marriage, young age,
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: if it's caused from religion, whatever it is, but I
Speaker 1: feel like there's like a mindset that they have. Are
Speaker 1: you saying you didn't you didn't like everyone knowing your
Speaker 1: business because it's such a small town. Did that bother you?
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I didn't like it or dislike it.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's kind of a bummer when you know
Speaker 1: everyone knows everything that you do every single weekend. There's
Speaker 1: definitely there's there's positives and negative negatives to it. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I think that geography has a lot
Speaker 1: to do with the dating habits of our generation. It's
Speaker 1: just interesting that you chose to go on a reality
Speaker 1: show you didn't necessarily love everyone knowing your business, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I think as a a teenager
Speaker 1: that's growing up and learning out of a lot about himself,
Speaker 1: it's hard to have a lot of your things be
Speaker 1: so widely known, you know, because it's just awkward and
Speaker 1: uncomfortable a lot of like like sex and and king
Speaker 1: out and all that kind of stuff. But as I've
Speaker 1: obviously gotten older, I've become a little bit more comfortable
Speaker 1: with it. UM i e going on on a national
Speaker 1: television show. But I just think that there's definitely something
Speaker 1: to be said, like people in Los Angeles UM have
Speaker 1: a different dating habit or different dating history than people
Speaker 1: from UM. I don't know, chatting noo, good Tennessee. You know. So,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just the thought that I had.
Speaker 1: All Right, Well, thank you for tuning in to episode
Speaker 1: eight of Help I Suck At Dating. This was a
Speaker 1: fun one. We just got to talk to a lot
Speaker 1: of people calling in. We obviously had Easton and Mark
Speaker 1: chime in quite a bit. They're always just great to
Speaker 1: have on UM. I'm sure a lot of You have
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts to share after this episode. If
Speaker 1: you want to share them, you can email them too.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com. Again,
Speaker 1: that's I suck at dating at I heeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: Feel free to shoot some emails over We'll do our
Speaker 1: best to get to them. Um. Honestly, that's that's one
Speaker 1: of the best parts, because they're you know, real life
Speaker 1: stories and and I don't think I can provide much help,
Speaker 1: but I can at least provide a perspective that maybe
Speaker 1: will shed light on certain things. Obviously, Mark and Eastern
Speaker 1: are a little bit more well versed with the whole relationships.
Speaker 1: But again that's I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 1: You can always tweet at me, um, send me a
Speaker 1: dem on Instagram, whatever it is. But thank you for
Speaker 1: tuning in to help I suck at dating. I'm Dean
Speaker 1: Anglert and maybe next week I'll suck a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow help I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.