1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: We gotta get to the letter, all right, Buckle up, 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: hold on tight, we got it for you. It is Strawberry. 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: Let him subject trapped in a marriage, Dear Steve. I've 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: been married twenty plus years and have two almost adult kids. 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: I've been faithful, devoted, trying to hold things together for 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: my family. I didn't want them to have to live 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: a lifestyle I would have had to give them had 8 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,479 Speaker 1: I left my husband. Now I'm at a point in 9 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: my life where to just look at my husband can 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: turn my stomach. Never having been very compatible, I do 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 1: the best I could, and I'm sure he feels the same. 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: Lots of sacrifices on my part, living with his family, 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: living near his family, taking care of his parents until 14 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 1: they passed, now taking care of him because he has 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: developed a debilitating illness and will never work again, and 16 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: hasn't in the last ten years. I've met a man, 17 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: not intentionally, not with any forethought. He was just there 18 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: and always seems to be there when I need a 19 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: shoulder to cry or a token of attention. He's married, 20 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: and although he's been very supportive, I doubt that he 21 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: has any romantic inclinations towards me anyway. But the feelings 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: I have for him really show up what I don't 23 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: feel for my husband any longer. My feelings for him 24 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: went through trial by fire, and there is little left 25 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: but ashes. Now that the kids are on the verge 26 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: of adulthood and he has no one else, I don't 27 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: feel I can leave him alone. Yet I can't deal 28 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: with these feelings I have towards someone else. I feel 29 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,119 Speaker 1: like a hypocrite, adulteress and a home record even though 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: I've done, I've never done anything to encourage this man 31 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: away from his family. I don't know what to do, 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,919 Speaker 1: but the guilt and hypocrisy are eating away at my soul. 33 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: Not happy with anything or anyone help me, Steve Dear 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: not happy? Yeah, you know what, you sound like a 35 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: woman who's just fed up. You've gone through a lot. 36 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: You've done what any good wife would do and be 37 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: on your marriage vows. Say though that, uh, you know 38 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: you should stay married through sickness and health, and you 39 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: are doing that. You're tired, though, you're unhappy, you're depressed, 40 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: you feel trapped, and this man has come along. When 41 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: you're very, very vulnerable, and it's easy to fall and 42 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: develop feelings for people when you're in that kind of 43 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: open state like that, and that's what happened. And now 44 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: you're sprung on this other man. This other man has 45 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: taken full advantage of you and you're in a full 46 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,360 Speaker 1: blown affair now it sounds like it seems and uh 47 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: that's why. Um, you know you have this guilt and stuff. 48 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: You feel this way. You feel like a hypocrite, you 49 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: feel like an adulterous and a home record. Um, there's 50 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: only a couple of things you really can do. For starters, 51 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: stop seeing this guy. You know, you gotta stop seeing 52 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: him because you're still married. Okay, you could stop seeing 53 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: him and try to work it out with your husband. 54 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 1: You know, you didn't say that you didn't love him. 55 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: You just said you're sick and tired of him, you know. 56 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: Or you can leave your husband. You can leave him. 57 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: I mean, those are really your only options, Steve. That's after. 58 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,839 Speaker 1: She has a real problem, she really really, I'll get 59 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: into it when we come back. She has a real, 60 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,839 Speaker 1: real problem. I'm not sure I don't have it yet 61 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: exactly what to say to her. I think you're correcting 62 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: your answer. Thh, Shirley, Really, I think you're very correct. 63 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: I think She's guilt written though in two ways, and 64 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: so I'll get into it best I can. It's just 65 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: my opinion, just like these are just Sherley's opinions. All 66 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: we have time, No, we won't have time. Of course 67 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 1: we won't become of course would be just the show. 68 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: The letter is posted, by the way, so if you 69 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: want to check it out, if you want to comment 70 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: or send us an email, you can go to Steve 71 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: Harvey dot com, click on Strawberry letter and get to 72 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: type in. That's it twelve minutes after. We'll be back 73 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: with Steve's response right after this. But come on, Steve, 74 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: come on, let's get to it. Part two of your 75 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: response to today's Here we go. Uh subject trapped in 76 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: the marriage? Help me, Steve, Well, Steve can't help you, 77 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: God can. I can tell you that in this letter 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: because you're in quite a position. Steve really can't help you. 79 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: God can really. I think Shirley's advice solidly is you 80 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: have to leave this man alone. But on the other hand, 81 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: do I sympathize with what you're saying? Yeah, And all 82 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 1: the other women who can sympathize with you what you're saying, 83 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: I'm sure they are and then they are married women 84 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: who are going get your hands off my man while 85 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: you over there with this man's with this other woman's husband. 86 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: It's gonna go both ways. Um, the over there with 87 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: the other husband. You know that's out of line. I 88 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: don't have to explain that to you. That's morally not 89 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: the correct way to go about life. And sure you 90 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: know that you're an adult, that's why you have these 91 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: confused feelings. But on the other hand, lady, I can't 92 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: sympathize with you because you have sacrificed yourself for twenty 93 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: plus years. You stayed in the manage that you really 94 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: didn't want to stay in. You never work compatible with him. 95 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: You sacrifice yourself with him, his parents. Now he's sick. 96 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: Now he ain't worked in ten years. I don't where 97 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: his paper coming from. So you might be supporting the 98 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: whole show, and he's just sitting over there and might 99 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: still be talking to you crazy, and you're taking care 100 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: of him and everything about him, and he kind of 101 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: talking to you crazy. Y'all ain't compatible. Most people that 102 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: ain't compatible talk to each other crazy, because when you 103 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: ain't happy with the person, you're gonna talk crazy. When 104 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: you see him. Now, the sight of your husband turning 105 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: your stomach, that's gonna be hard to do the rest 106 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: of your life. Look over there and somebody turning your store. 107 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 1: And now he's sick. Now I don't know what illness 108 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: he got, but he ain't worked in ten years and 109 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: ain't gonna ever work again. But is he's sitting over 110 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: there complaining. Say, man, that's gonna be tough for you 111 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: to stay in that situation. Now, what you could do 112 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,359 Speaker 1: is divorce. You could do that, and people say, well, Steve, 113 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,040 Speaker 1: the Bible says, and the vile say, through sick and 114 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 1: it's and in health. Yeah, do. But people get divorced 115 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: all the time. And then people leave for lesser reasons. 116 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: Somebody was cheating on somebody, somebody, financial problems came up, 117 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 1: They just ain't compatible. What are people leave for all 118 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: the reasons? Well, now that he's sick, you feel guilty 119 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: and you don't think you could leave. But here's a 120 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: real problem. Though you met a man not intentionally, not 121 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: with any forethought. He was just there and was always 122 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: there when you needed a shoulder. The crown or token 123 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: attention problem is he married and although he's been very supportive, 124 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: you say, in the letter. I doubt that he has 125 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 1: any romantic inclinations towards me anyway. Okay, lady, come on, now, 126 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: come on now, let's get this back into reality. He 127 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: got something towards you, and you got something towards him. 128 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: Let's be grown now, you know, I mean, what is 129 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: it he'd asked for you? You You attracted to the man. 130 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: A matter of fact, you're developing feelings for the man. 131 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 1: So you've grown. Ain't nowhere else to go. I don't 132 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: know how sick own boy is at your house, but 133 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: he's so sick that he ain't bringing no heat. He 134 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: ain't frying no bacon at the house. You're gonna have 135 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: to get your bacon fry. Maybe. Well, like I said, 136 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: you got to be able sisily to some at least 137 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: warming or something gotta happen to the bacon. You gotta 138 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: at least take it out the slab and lay it 139 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: out there, get some fire on it or something. But 140 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: you can't eat the breaking raw. Ain't nobody can eat 141 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: raw bacon. You got to get this bacon cooked. Now 142 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: you might not be getting your bacon cook. And if 143 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: he do try to cook your bacon, the sight of 144 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: him makes you sick to your stomach. So the bacon 145 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: process ain't even good baking when you get it. Y'all 146 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: just over there now. So now I sympathize with you. 147 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: Where you got to do something? Now you have found 148 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: this romance. Now the dude married. Now, can I tell 149 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: you that this ain't going to go nowhere? Can you 150 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: not find another dude that ain't married to develop these 151 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: feelings faults because you're in the married dude ain't going nowhere? 152 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: Then you says you don't. Uh, You've done nothing to 153 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: keep him away, to encourage him, And I feel like 154 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: a hypocrite adulteress and a home record, even though I've 155 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: never done anything to encourage this man away from his family. Oh, 156 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: yes you have. You're needing him. Him. Knowing you need 157 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: him is to draw card away from the family. All right, 158 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: thank you, Steve. You know we got to get out 159 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: of here. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.