Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to the Amy and TJ Podcast. I don't
Speaker 1: know if any of you all have felt this or not,
Speaker 1: but Thanksgiving was so late this year that all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I feel like December just happened and I
Speaker 1: wasn't even anticipating it so much. And so, yeah, we
Speaker 1: have a few weeks left until the end of the year,
Speaker 1: and you know what, I don't know if everyone has
Speaker 1: accomplished what they wanted to. We all make those New
Speaker 1: Year's resolutions or at least get intentional around the first
Speaker 1: of the year, and then you wake up and it's
Speaker 1: December and you realize maybe I didn't do all the
Speaker 1: things I want to do. Well, we are here to
Speaker 1: tell you that there is still time to get things done.
Speaker 1: So we actually have a list of things you're going
Speaker 1: to wish you did before the year's over. So instead
Speaker 1: of kind of saying you should have you could have,
Speaker 1: why don't we get this out now where there's still
Speaker 1: time to maybe accomplish some of these things. And we
Speaker 1: have our producer Andy and Emma with us as well
Speaker 1: here in the studio to kind of walk us through
Speaker 1: what we should be doing or could be doing before
Speaker 1: it's too late. Is there anything that you wish you
Speaker 1: had done, that you haven't done, that you thought you
Speaker 1: were going to that you didn't TJ.
Speaker 2: No, I'm still laughing that everybody got an introduction that
Speaker 2: wasn't even now. I wasn't even here. You just talk
Speaker 2: and talk and talked. You introduced both of the producers.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that was Did you even realize, oh you're there,
Speaker 2: that I am here?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, okay.
Speaker 2: I was no. I was getting I was giggling because
Speaker 2: I didn't know how long it was going to go.
Speaker 2: I thought you were actually going to call on him
Speaker 2: and hit This is gonna be the first podcast we've
Speaker 2: done in a year in which you hear another man's
Speaker 2: voice on it before you hear mine.
Speaker 1: That's why we were headed and that's why I don't
Speaker 1: start podcasts often, so.
Speaker 2: People don't know that this is a debate, that it
Speaker 2: was not a debat anymore like you doing. But yes,
Speaker 2: it's uh I sit back and just watch watch it, magic,
Speaker 2: watch magic.
Speaker 1: I know you're taking notes. I saw you taking notes.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do what Robes did this time next time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just have a bunch of scratches. You're scratching out
Speaker 1: what you were going to say, because I so eloquently
Speaker 1: put it all into play.
Speaker 2: You know, what things I want to do before the
Speaker 2: year's over. I haven't thought about that, but there's always
Speaker 2: stuff and I'm unfortunately think about it too often when
Speaker 2: someone I know passes away and I think, wow, I
Speaker 2: was just meaning to reach out blank and just think
Speaker 2: about the things. And I say this, said this before.
Speaker 2: There's so many people who are listening now. Friends of
Speaker 2: my who over in the past two years got in
Speaker 2: the message that started out just thinking about you. And
Speaker 2: if anything, I've learned lately, if somebody's on my mind,
Speaker 2: I reach out just saying hi. That message has gone
Speaker 2: out to so many people, so I think that's usually
Speaker 2: one of the things. Though I'll probably get to, like
Speaker 2: I wish I need to make sure I reach out.
Speaker 2: That's probably something I'll do. Well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, will you make an active
Speaker 1: note of it and the next few weeks actually make
Speaker 1: a point to do it before we get to the
Speaker 1: new year.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And it's the holidays as well. You know, sometimes
Speaker 2: people are a little down around the holidays. Some people
Speaker 2: are lonely around the holidays, right, even if you have
Speaker 2: family around you, sometimes you can still feel lonely, so
Speaker 2: I think sometimes there's a little note of encouragement. It's
Speaker 2: always good anytime, it's a good time, but the holidays, certainly.
Speaker 1: I agree with you. And the one thing I think
Speaker 1: we can all look back and say, I wish I
Speaker 1: haead it's about reaching out and connecting with people, asking
Speaker 1: that front to launch who you haven't seen in a while,
Speaker 1: or just checking in on them. That's a really good point.
Speaker 1: And I think I'm thinking that's probably on the list
Speaker 1: as well. But Andy's got the list in front of
Speaker 1: him now, so why don't you walk us through it?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: So number one on this list is texting that old
Speaker 3: friend you've been meaning to call.
Speaker 1: Oh, I you should play family feud survey says number one.
Speaker 1: Now the balls in your court.
Speaker 2: It is. But everybody do that, and I've done this before.
Speaker 2: But if you stop right now, everybody, pick up your
Speaker 2: phone and go into your messages file and then scroll down, down, down,
Speaker 2: down down to the very bottom. Who is that person
Speaker 2: you haven't talked to in so long? And why like,
Speaker 2: who is that on the very bottom there? Whoever was
Speaker 2: a message you never responded to? Or why did you
Speaker 2: lose touch? Or they're on your list of people you've
Speaker 2: been talking to, but why is that one or the
Speaker 2: second to last or the third last. Just take a
Speaker 2: look and you'd be very surprised and go wow.
Speaker 1: And you know what. We've said this before, but it's
Speaker 1: worth mentioning again if you've been through tough times and
Speaker 1: we certainly have recently. The people who do, even if
Speaker 1: seemingly out of nowhere, if it's been years, even since
Speaker 1: you've spoken to them, one note, one sentence, one quick text,
Speaker 1: it's amazing what that does for that person.
Speaker 2: And even if you don't hear back from them, yeah,
Speaker 2: they'll read it.
Speaker 1: It's still meaningful the world. I've been amazed at how
Speaker 1: much it's touched me just to say, hey, you don't
Speaker 1: even like I love this, especially if someone's going through
Speaker 1: a tough time. You do not have to text me back,
Speaker 1: but I just want to let you know you're in
Speaker 1: my heart, you're in my thoughts, and I'm sending you love.
Speaker 1: That is all it takes.
Speaker 2: And don't give up if you don't hear back from
Speaker 2: them either, because I was bad about that for a
Speaker 2: little while, and there were certain folks who would not
Speaker 2: let me be, didn't ask for any response, but they
Speaker 2: didn't care that I didn't respond and they stayed at it.
Speaker 2: So it's that's really really meaningful, And that's number one
Speaker 2: on the list there, But it's that's a big one.
Speaker 1: It's good for you and it's good for the person
Speaker 1: receiving it. Everybody wins.
Speaker 3: Nice Number two. Finally taking that weekend trip.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why not? I mean why not? Everybody? Just I
Speaker 2: know we can't. Sometimes you just jump in a car. Well,
Speaker 2: you know what again, everybody think about right now, what's
Speaker 2: the thing or the place you've been saying you want
Speaker 2: to go and you still haven't. Ask yourself why you haven't,
Speaker 2: and then why the hell not go for it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a big believer in this. You don't know
Speaker 1: how much time you've got. So if there's something you
Speaker 1: really want to do, someplace you really want to go,
Speaker 1: just book it, Just book it and go. I love that,
Speaker 1: And that's good advice because you're never going to regret
Speaker 1: a trip. You're never going to regret a mini vacation.
Speaker 1: You're never going to regret spending time in a place
Speaker 1: you were thinking about going to. You're never gonna think
Speaker 1: I wish I hadn't taken that trip. It just doesn't happen.
Speaker 3: Number three is saying sorry to someone who deserves it.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, yeah, I mean, and sorry is the hardest word.
Speaker 1: Why is sorry the hardest word?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: But that also is a gift to yourself and a
Speaker 1: gift to that other person because when you say you're sorry,
Speaker 1: you surrender, and when you surrender, you let go of
Speaker 1: whatever notion you had. I something my mom has always
Speaker 1: said to me that I've said to the girls, and
Speaker 1: I have to remind myself in moments it is always
Speaker 1: better to be kind than right, period.
Speaker 2: But you're still right.
Speaker 1: Look at you. Stop. If you know it, that's great.
Speaker 1: You don't have to prove it to the other person.
Speaker 2: I can be kind all day long. If I know
Speaker 2: I'm right, I have no problem. You can win this
Speaker 2: little confrontation that's going on right here, right now, because
Speaker 2: oftentimes I know that it might be in the next
Speaker 2: ten minutes, might be tomorrow, or in two days. That
Speaker 2: person's going to realize how much of an ass they
Speaker 2: made of themselves in front of me. And that's fine.
Speaker 1: They might realize it, but they still might not say
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, because that's a really hard thing to say.
Speaker 1: You don't need it.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I don't need it. And I'm sorry is
Speaker 2: more so for the person saying it versus the person
Speaker 2: who's been wrong. I don't need enough. I'm sorry for somebody.
Speaker 2: I really really don't.
Speaker 1: Can you forgive somebody even though they don't say they're.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I can forget them. That's why I no, no, no,
Speaker 2: you know me well enough to know this, and this
Speaker 2: is something I am bad at. I have a very
Speaker 2: small circle in that circle. Not a lot of extra
Speaker 2: folks get into that circle, you know that. So when
Speaker 2: someone shows me something about themselves before they get in
Speaker 2: the circle, then I don't need to bother with them anymore.
Speaker 1: Even if they apologize and they mean it. I don't
Speaker 1: understand the answer to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine, but I don't. The whole point was,
Speaker 2: I don't need an apology. I don't need it. I'm
Speaker 2: sorry from anybody I see.
Speaker 1: I think I'm sorry are very powerful and I incredibly
Speaker 1: I appreciate them from you. That's right, right, But I'm
Speaker 1: actually assuming it's if we're talking about this, it's from
Speaker 1: someone who is somewhat meaningful in your life. It's not
Speaker 1: like someone bumped you like you know, bumped into you
Speaker 1: on the street. But this is like a friend or
Speaker 1: a partner or a family member.
Speaker 2: Oh, all that goes, I see, I would. I'm thinking
Speaker 2: of it as all that goes without saying somebody that's
Speaker 2: I know, in love, a family member, you and I'm
Speaker 2: sorry is almost necessary to move forward. Yeah, but outside
Speaker 2: of that, I don't need it. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: We're talking about it. It's it's not too later. Things
Speaker 1: you wish you had done before the year's over. Do
Speaker 1: you think it's ever too late to say you're sorry?
Speaker 2: Oh? Well, as Justin Bieber would say, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think maybe it can be too late. I just
Speaker 2: it's I needed that a long time ago. It's it's
Speaker 2: it's I don't know. I don't think so. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't think I think it can be too late.
Speaker 1: Yes, you do, don't. I hear what you're saying, and
Speaker 1: I agree. I'm not saying that the relationship would go
Speaker 1: back to where it was, But I do think I
Speaker 1: actually think it it's never too late. You can always
Speaker 1: say you're sorry. Doesn't You can't have the expectation then
Speaker 1: that that person will forgive you, or that that person
Speaker 1: will come around and you will have a renewed relationship.
Speaker 1: But I still think it's a gesture that you can
Speaker 1: give without expectations. And it's never too late to do that.
Speaker 2: Okay, I would just I say too late as a
Speaker 2: matter of is it have any meaning?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: I just don't care. I mean, you can say it
Speaker 2: makes you feel better, fine, but it has no impact
Speaker 2: on our relationship. It's not going to change anything. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to rest better. So yeah, it could be
Speaker 2: too late, Okay, a small window of time to say
Speaker 2: I'm sorry ropes.
Speaker 1: Okay, what is that window?
Speaker 2: Just for few it's closing on something you did about
Speaker 2: a month and a half ago.
Speaker 3: Number four is clearing out the chaos in your space.
Speaker 1: Oh well, yeah, I've been starting to do it, but
Speaker 1: I that is something I would like to accomplish in
Speaker 1: the next couple of days or weeks that has such
Speaker 1: a mental impact on me at least when in fact,
Speaker 1: right now, my daughter Analise is taking bags and bags
Speaker 1: of things I've already cleared out to Goodwill as we're
Speaker 1: recording this, because and I remember just feeling relief, like
Speaker 1: my shoulders relaxed knowing that she's getting it out of
Speaker 1: the house. It makes a huge difference.
Speaker 2: Uh, yes, you know how all as am when I
Speaker 2: you know something's going on and something's wrong with me,
Speaker 2: when I start clearing things out and throwing things away
Speaker 2: and getting really organized, that's how I go about finding
Speaker 2: my I don't know my piece again. Yes, to control
Speaker 2: the things I can control, but yes, a lot of
Speaker 2: new things people can get, new gifts, new clothes and
Speaker 2: all this stuff. So yeah, it's a good time to
Speaker 2: get stuff out of there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, making space for the new.
Speaker 3: Number five is taking the time to remember the good stuff.
Speaker 2: That's vague.
Speaker 1: Well, no, but you know what I think. But I
Speaker 1: actually I love this. Something we can do over the
Speaker 1: next couple of weeks because a lot of times this
Speaker 1: is a time of year where we do reflect and
Speaker 1: we might not even realize how much we're thinking about
Speaker 1: the negative. He did that, she did this. I wish
Speaker 1: this would be different. Why didn't this happen the way
Speaker 1: I wanted it to. If we can recognize that we're
Speaker 1: doing that and maybe even kind of looking at things negatively, sure,
Speaker 1: there's always a way to do that. But if you
Speaker 1: can flip the switch and say, okay, forever I've actually
Speaker 1: said this to myself, I don't always put it into practice,
Speaker 1: but when I feel myself having negative thoughts, When I
Speaker 1: have a negative thought, now right now, I have to
Speaker 1: replace it, or at least have to add a positive
Speaker 1: thought on the same subject to it. And that changes
Speaker 1: your attitude about either a person or a situation, because
Speaker 1: there is usually something good you can remember or think
Speaker 1: about when it comes.
Speaker 2: To just takes training to do that. It's so difficult
Speaker 2: to do it when you're in the moment and something
Speaker 2: is that frustrating. I am a flight just got delayed
Speaker 2: or canceled, or your bags got lost or whatever it
Speaker 2: may be. It's hard to find a positive in that moment.
Speaker 2: But we've had so many. I'm trying to think of
Speaker 2: the exactly I'm not going to be able to come
Speaker 2: up with it here. But we got a wonderful opportunity
Speaker 2: because a flight of ours was delayed. Right things have
Speaker 2: we never We didn't see it coming, but we were
Speaker 2: able to. You remember what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember, well, I remember last year when
Speaker 1: we were in Puerto Rico and our flight got delayed
Speaker 1: and we went back to the hotel and we actually
Speaker 1: ended up Okay, I know exactly what we actually went
Speaker 1: back to the hotel. We actually got a room because
Speaker 1: we ran into someone that we would never have run into.
Speaker 1: We never would have seen, and we never would have
Speaker 1: had a moment with had our flight not gotten delayed.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so yes, to my point, there is opportunity
Speaker 2: in everything that goes sideways for you if you would
Speaker 2: just stop and look for it. Right. We always say
Speaker 2: we look for the worst in people or in situations.
Speaker 2: What would happen if you look for the good and
Speaker 2: everybody you came in contact with in every situation you
Speaker 2: had give it that a shot.
Speaker 3: Number six. Paying attention to your body.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I think that is so important. I'm a
Speaker 1: big believer in it, and even with every medical situation
Speaker 1: I've been through, I still do it. You put things off.
Speaker 1: No one wants to make a doctor's appointment. No one
Speaker 1: wants to make that dental appointment. It's tough, but that
Speaker 1: is part of us not only loving ourselves, but making
Speaker 1: sure we're around and healthy for the people who love us.
Speaker 1: I often said, even if you don't want to do
Speaker 1: it for you, do it for the people who love you,
Speaker 1: who want you to be here longer and to be
Speaker 1: here healthier. So I think that's a great point this
Speaker 1: time of year, as we're assessing so much, to remember
Speaker 1: to listen to your body and are you getting enough sleep?
Speaker 1: Are you eating regularly? Are you eating healthily? Are you
Speaker 1: exercising all of those things? That's the gift that sounds
Speaker 1: so corny, Oh my god, but that is the gift
Speaker 1: you can give yourself. It's time of year, and that's
Speaker 1: probably the best gift you can give yourself this time
Speaker 1: of year.
Speaker 2: Well, I have a brace on my foot right now
Speaker 2: because I'm paying to my body. I am the worst
Speaker 2: of this. Do as I say and not as I do.
Speaker 2: I am awful, awful at sleep. I only have this
Speaker 2: brace on because I had to. It was just so
Speaker 2: much pain running that I didn't have a choice, essentially,
Speaker 2: So this is one I definitely need to be doing.
Speaker 2: After the marathon. Was the marath No after Thanksgiving, I
Speaker 2: dropped eleven thirteen pounds because I was so sick. I
Speaker 2: was absolutely sick. So that's food poisoning something. Who knows
Speaker 2: what was going on.
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, but you definitely were. Oh
Speaker 1: you had a really rough three four days?
Speaker 2: Yes, say so. No, I'm awful at that, and I
Speaker 2: know I am I eat well, probably don't eat enough,
Speaker 2: but yes, this is the time to anytime. It's a
Speaker 2: good time. You don't have to wait for anything.
Speaker 1: Well, what would you like to do differently?
Speaker 2: I gotta sleep. I gotta find a way to sleep,
Speaker 2: Like I need to go to a doctor about the
Speaker 2: sleep and the habits. And that's it's awful.
Speaker 1: If you did that, that was like, honestly, that's all
Speaker 1: I would want for Christmas is to say, Robes, I
Speaker 1: made a doctor's appointment with someone who specializes in sleep disorder.
Speaker 2: That's all you want.
Speaker 1: That would be huge.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I hope I kept my receipts because
Speaker 2: I got a lot of stuff to return.
Speaker 1: But that to me is, yes, that's something that you
Speaker 1: actually I think I don't think. I pretty much know
Speaker 1: at this point, having known you for so long, that
Speaker 1: is something that you actually need medical guidance with, and
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people do. I think people
Speaker 1: assume we can fix it on our own. But sleep
Speaker 1: is something that you know, that's not something necessarily you're
Speaker 1: doing wrong or to yourself. I've watched you, You've tried
Speaker 1: to go to bed early. It's not about falling asleep.
Speaker 1: It's about staying asleep and sometimes you need help with
Speaker 1: that and someone who knows better and studies this sort
Speaker 1: of thing, and if you got Look, when you do
Speaker 1: get good sleep, you are the absolute best, brightest version
Speaker 1: of yourself and it's so lovely to be around. So yes,
Speaker 1: it would be a gift to me. When you are good,
Speaker 1: you are like, wow, amazing today, You're good.
Speaker 2: I didn't not get good sleep?
Speaker 1: Well, then you're faking it really well?
Speaker 2: Only that was that was strong? Well I didn't. I
Speaker 2: wasn't expecting that. No, but you know, like, can I
Speaker 2: ask you one question? Yes, since you've known me, have
Speaker 2: you have you seen me get eight hours of sleep?
Speaker 1: Only when you were sick these last few days? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that might.
Speaker 2: Be overnight I slept. Were talking about like napping during
Speaker 2: the day and bouncing around.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Have you seen me go to bed at ten o'clock
Speaker 2: at night and wake up?
Speaker 1: It's no, I think the longest I've ever seen you
Speaker 1: sleep and you are ready to rock and roll if
Speaker 1: you get six hours?
Speaker 2: Is that normal?
Speaker 1: I don't know. And that's why a doctor who knows
Speaker 1: better could tell you that, you know what, DJ you
Speaker 1: only need six hours because You've always made that argument,
Speaker 1: and I think we're kind of learning that maybe it's
Speaker 1: not how long you sleep, it's how well you sleep.
Speaker 1: And so do you go into deep sleep, do you
Speaker 1: get the ram sleep? Those are the kinds of things
Speaker 1: that you know need to be studied, right, But yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm six hours and deep sleep. Nobody can touch you.
Speaker 2: Folks are going through the things you're gonna wish you
Speaker 2: did before the year's over. Way up to number seven,
Speaker 2: Andy is there right, yep.
Speaker 3: Is showing gratitude to the people who matter.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I year round, year round, for sure. But
Speaker 1: if you've realized that maybe you have not you've been distracted,
Speaker 1: or you've taken some things or some people for granted.
Speaker 1: You've got time, You've got you can always Yeah, you've
Speaker 1: got a couple of weeks to really make it, make
Speaker 1: a list. I know people say to make a gratitude journal.
Speaker 1: I always want to do that. I just never have.
Speaker 1: But I know that it's effective and it's great and
Speaker 1: there are so many people that we can think for
Speaker 1: doing so many things for us. That's a great tip.
Speaker 1: And again it's one that you'll feel better about and
Speaker 1: the people who will be receiving it will feel wonderful for.
Speaker 2: The last part there to people who matter. Show gratitude
Speaker 2: to people who matter. That can mean a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2: You might think about your friends, family, somebody in your circle.
Speaker 2: But man, that the person driving the subway is matters,
Speaker 2: that flight attendant matters. There are a lot of people
Speaker 2: who are incredibly significant in your life on a day
Speaker 2: to day basis that you don't know their name at all,
Speaker 2: and you would not be surprised how far it goes
Speaker 2: to show gratitude. And this was happening with Sabine. You know,
Speaker 2: I flew with her. She always gives me an give
Speaker 2: me a hard time. She just finds it so funny.
Speaker 2: I end up with just the gre using this play
Speaker 2: out the flight attendants. We end up having a party.
Speaker 2: They become my best friends on the flight. And I
Speaker 2: always say, it's as simple. I'm the only one today
Speaker 2: that looked them in their eyes, has said how you
Speaker 2: are doing and stopped and waited on the answer. You'd
Speaker 2: be surprised how far it goes. People who end up
Speaker 2: getting treated like crap day in day out, who are
Speaker 2: there to serve you if you just show a little gratitude,
Speaker 2: how far.
Speaker 1: That goes, Yeah, if you actually think about how many
Speaker 1: people do things for you, maybe it's their job to
Speaker 1: do them that we take for granted, and if you
Speaker 1: acknowledge them and you thank them, you will see just
Speaker 1: the joy that washes over them because they've been unseen,
Speaker 1: the unsung heroes in our lives. We've heard about that,
Speaker 1: but if we really take the time in the next
Speaker 1: couple of days or weeks to see those people who
Speaker 1: actually make a difference in your life that you don't
Speaker 1: actually think about what they're doing for you, because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of it like, oh, well, that's their job,
Speaker 1: that's what they're supposed to do. That's the attitude of
Speaker 1: gratitude can change everything. Were all of those people, and
Speaker 1: so yeah matters. It's not just family, it's it's day
Speaker 1: to day, day in and day out. I love that.
Speaker 2: I want a great time to take a take a
Speaker 2: moment and say thank you to our producers Emma and Andy,
Speaker 2: who are always takes such good care of us in
Speaker 2: here for everything we need. Any any text we send,
Speaker 2: we get a response within a matter of moments. That's true.
Speaker 2: Emma of course has been with us and over the
Speaker 2: last weekend we were a jingle ball. We had another
Speaker 2: jingle ball coming up, and you guys have actually been great.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying this as a we ever where we go.
Speaker 2: We've worked in a lot of places, and every time
Speaker 2: you leave those places, you know, when a job comes
Speaker 2: up at your new place, you think, who would I
Speaker 2: want to bring over? There are a couple of people
Speaker 2: in your previous spot. You two, I mean, iHeart be unnoticed.
Speaker 2: We're gonna want to poach though at some point.
Speaker 1: And you know Andy, we text him almost every morning
Speaker 1: now around well, oh yeah, it's gotten a little bit later,
Speaker 1: but the six o'clock range, and he's immediately responding like,
Speaker 1: good morning. You know, we're doing the morning run. We're
Speaker 1: almost uploaded, and he's there getting all that up so
Speaker 1: that you all can listen to it, and at all
Speaker 1: hours of the night and morning, they're available to us,
Speaker 1: and we just really appreciate it and we want to
Speaker 1: say thank you.
Speaker 3: Who knew number seven was the best one? And number
Speaker 3: eight is saying, guess is something you'd normally skip That.
Speaker 1: Might be a tough one for you. So for me,
Speaker 1: that's stuff for.
Speaker 2: You TJ man, it's hard to give me out of
Speaker 2: my comfort zone. I'm grown now, I know what I like.
Speaker 2: I'll try just about everything.
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to get you on the slopes.
Speaker 2: Tried it.
Speaker 1: Before, you didn't try it with me.
Speaker 2: I didn't might not need to just.
Speaker 1: Because my daughter Analyst is going to Boulder, so yep,
Speaker 1: there will be mountains and snow and a visitor top.
Speaker 1: I know you can stay by the fire.
Speaker 2: But as I can.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, is there something that you would like if
Speaker 1: you think about, you know what I like to do
Speaker 1: that you don't necessarily want to do. Is there something
Speaker 1: that you would say, Okay, you know what I'll say yesterday.
Speaker 2: It'd have to be presented. But no, there's there's nothing
Speaker 2: I'm dying to try that I haven't like. Okay, somebody's
Speaker 2: been trying to get me to do that, and I'm
Speaker 2: on the fence. I just you've talked about several things something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, good luck with that. Let me know
Speaker 1: how the trip went. And that's okay. But what about
Speaker 1: what about jumping out of an airplane? We've talked about that.
Speaker 2: I'm curious about that, at least at least the curious
Speaker 2: about skydiving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so yes, I am too.
Speaker 2: I but that's not usually a no, like something I
Speaker 2: would normally say no to. Right, what was the question?
Speaker 3: It was saying yes to something you normally skip.
Speaker 2: Normally skip like actually want a skydive.
Speaker 1: Okay, you did go on a hike with me, and
Speaker 1: you said you do this other hike. So you have
Speaker 1: said I've.
Speaker 2: Done some hiking before. Yeah, in certain places, in certain ways.
Speaker 2: You took me on just the most it was horrible,
Speaker 2: insect ridden.
Speaker 1: You know what. The good news is, we got that
Speaker 1: one out of the way. Now I'm going to be
Speaker 1: very specific and know where I'm actually asking you to
Speaker 1: go where there's a payoff for the hiking.
Speaker 2: No, I've done Yeah, but hiking mountains is not a
Speaker 2: thing for me.
Speaker 1: You don't want to go into altitude? No. But we
Speaker 1: also talked about rock climbing.
Speaker 2: I like rock climbing.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, we have some things that we can
Speaker 1: both say yes to.
Speaker 2: Oh you normally say no to.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think because the true is I don't
Speaker 1: say no too much. Doing the cup It shuffle, I
Speaker 1: tried it. Even though I made a fool of myself,
Speaker 1: I said yes, So no.
Speaker 2: I should be a hard no.
Speaker 1: This is come on, you got stop it.
Speaker 2: Acknowledge when I insult you, this is no fun.
Speaker 1: You don't how dare you? I can dance?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I I really this is the truth. After I've always
Speaker 1: been somebody who says yes to most things, but I
Speaker 1: to my own detriment. But after going through breast cancer,
Speaker 1: I really had this even more invigorated push to just
Speaker 1: say yes because you never know. And then you say
Speaker 1: yes and you don't like it, you can say no
Speaker 1: the next time. But I always enjoy the idea of
Speaker 1: doing something I didn't think I could. I used to
Speaker 1: say I would never run a marathon. I said that
Speaker 1: to so many people because my dad ran marathons, and
Speaker 1: I said, he's insane. I would never run a marathon.
Speaker 1: You said you would never run more than six miles,
Speaker 1: I think one time to me, and then you definitely
Speaker 1: said you would never run a half marathon. You said
Speaker 1: you would never run a marathon, and the power of
Speaker 1: yes is kind of awesome.
Speaker 2: Keep going. There was what's the next thing? I said, No,
Speaker 2: I would never, so if marathon was the last? What
Speaker 2: was then after that? I said, I would never?
Speaker 1: He said you would never go into altitude or hike
Speaker 1: a mountain.
Speaker 2: Okay, said, then that'll end up being the next thing exactly.
Speaker 1: I just it's gonna be great.
Speaker 2: I'll be the first black man ever die climbing a mountain,
Speaker 2: first one ever. Like, what is he doing up there?
Speaker 2: I think we didn't know to look for him. We
Speaker 2: didn't think he'd be there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think that you can. What the
Speaker 1: cool thing about saying yes is you can surprise yourself.
Speaker 1: You can think you know yourself. You can think you
Speaker 1: know your limitations physically and mentally, and then you do
Speaker 1: it anyway, and that is beautiful.
Speaker 2: Ya. I'm not thinking about a physical challenge. I'm thinking
Speaker 2: about something like that's humiligating, or that's not fun to me,
Speaker 2: or I don't want to do that thing. I don't
Speaker 2: want to go into that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can, I can.
Speaker 2: That'd be awkward ice skating. I don't know.
Speaker 1: See I've done it, and I have humulated myself. And
Speaker 1: you can laugh at yourself.
Speaker 2: I can laugh at I laugh at myself. I'm a
Speaker 2: very serious individual.
Speaker 1: I can laugh at my laughing laughing myself.
Speaker 2: Really, who wants to?
Speaker 1: I do? I enjoy it.
Speaker 2: It's embarrassing.
Speaker 1: So I would say the thing that I have said
Speaker 1: no to like this is random. But I remember one
Speaker 1: thing I said no to is you know, have you
Speaker 1: ever seen those hypnotists that come up on the stage.
Speaker 1: I'm like, absolutely not, because I don't want to be
Speaker 1: out of control that way. I'm feeling like someone else
Speaker 1: is controlling me. So you think it's real, I've said no,
Speaker 1: I have seen feature really seen people do really stupid
Speaker 1: things that they would not do normally. So I'm afraid
Speaker 1: that I'm going to get up there and be someone's puppet.
Speaker 1: I've seen it.
Speaker 2: Yes, friends, yes you are actual friends. Got hypnotized. I
Speaker 2: started dancing around like a monkey of someone.
Speaker 1: Safe at like this is a but your friends way back,
Speaker 1: but your friend like fraternity parties. Yes, I've seen I've
Speaker 1: seen people do really embarrassing things that they would not
Speaker 1: have done if they weren't under hypnosis.
Speaker 2: So so you all got a war renowned hypnotist at
Speaker 2: a fraternity party in nineteen ninety what? Okay, Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: sure y'all had a quality hypnotism.
Speaker 1: So that was one thing. When I saw that happen,
Speaker 1: I said to myself, I will never ever be hypnotized
Speaker 1: on a stage like that ever. Okay, So I can't
Speaker 1: think of anything else, I would say never. Oh, I know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go on a submarine.
Speaker 2: Which comes up in most people's day to day lives.
Speaker 1: I actually did get asked once and I said.
Speaker 2: No, once, baby, once, sweetheart, once. We don't know, we're
Speaker 2: not going over to New Jersey with a submarine taxi.
Speaker 1: I actually have something that could happen. So I said that.
Speaker 2: I didn't think this was going to take us down
Speaker 2: the street.
Speaker 1: I just got excited because I just remember something very specific,
Speaker 1: just like you said you didn't want to go up
Speaker 1: in altitude or climb a mountain like that.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: I have said to many many people I have a
Speaker 1: fear of sharks, that I would never ever go in
Speaker 1: a cage where great whites are great white sharks are.
Speaker 1: And you have said that is one of your dreams,
Speaker 1: that's on your bucket list, and so I am. I
Speaker 1: have said that, yes, I will go, but I normally
Speaker 1: would say no. But because it's a dream of yours
Speaker 1: and I like to challenge myself, I think I'd be
Speaker 1: willing to. But mostly I have said no in my life,
Speaker 1: like that's a non starter for me, and I think
Speaker 1: I'd be willing.
Speaker 2: To do that but as I've talked about it, you
Speaker 2: got a sense that you were invited. Nice, thank you,
Speaker 2: you all got it. It's good. It has to be
Speaker 2: biting to be effective humor, right, it has it needs a.
Speaker 1: Great white shark, and you've got TJ.
Speaker 2: Everybody had to pause and think, is he serious? Or
Speaker 2: do I laugh? What's supposed to have?
Speaker 1: That's good stuff?
Speaker 2: That was good stuff.
Speaker 1: Do you feel you proud?
Speaker 2: Well when it lands like that? I do? I do?
Speaker 2: I feel good? All right, I feel good.
Speaker 1: We've spent way too much time on this one. We okay, fine.
Speaker 2: All I did was make a shark joke and the
Speaker 2: rest was all you baby ahead. And he goes through this.
Speaker 3: Man, I sti't understand how you want to not hike,
Speaker 3: but you want to go with sharks like that. To me,
Speaker 3: you talk about hiking and the bugs in this, but
Speaker 3: meanwhile you're like, oh, sharks, yeah, I love those things.
Speaker 2: It's not it's not the threat or the danger. It's
Speaker 2: the enjoyment of the experience and walking through the woods
Speaker 2: looking for what color is on a tree so that
Speaker 2: I don't get lost up here while I'm trying to
Speaker 2: have a conversation about what with people. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but we happened to go avalon hikes before.
Speaker 1: That was the I mean okay, to defend, to defend
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: It had no payoff, there was no view, it was muggy,
Speaker 1: there were mosquitos circling us. And I've had highs this before,
Speaker 1: but very very rarely. But of course the first time
Speaker 1: I get him on a hike, that's the hike we have.
Speaker 1: So it was terrible.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well number nine, it's setting boundaries that you know
Speaker 3: you need.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know he does.
Speaker 2: That, setting bout it. Oh, I am, but the boundary you.
Speaker 1: Are, mister boundary. Yes, do you want to meet him?
Speaker 2: Do it? T J hunk folks, do it set your boundary?
Speaker 2: It's okay, Well I am. I am not a fan
Speaker 2: of I have to make myself uncomfortable based on your behavior.
Speaker 2: Like I'm trying to collle you. I'm trying to make
Speaker 2: you feel good about No. No, I am. You know I'm
Speaker 2: against that.
Speaker 1: Stuff, and that's how I've spent most of my life.
Speaker 2: I will say no. I will say no to your face.
Speaker 2: I don't just I'm not being rude about it. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying I don't mind that uncomfortable thing is not
Speaker 2: something I do.
Speaker 1: I will say that I have. I mean I have
Speaker 1: really watched you and been in awe of your ability
Speaker 1: to do that Like it's it's you command respect in
Speaker 1: that sense for yourself and not in a negative or
Speaker 1: cruel way. You're just saying this is where I draw
Speaker 1: the line, and I've tried actually to do that more
Speaker 1: in my life, because yes, you end up trying to
Speaker 1: make someone else happy and in the same moment you're miserable.
Speaker 1: You know, you are seeding your power to someone else,
Speaker 1: trying to make them happy. And gosh, if I've learned anything,
Speaker 1: we can't make anyone else happy. You can only so
Speaker 1: if you are making yourself miserable trying to make someone
Speaker 1: else happy. Now you're doing something that actually isn't going
Speaker 1: to be effective because you can't make someone happy and
Speaker 1: you're making yourself miserable. So you have to own it.
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree with it, and I need to
Speaker 1: do better with it. So I'm going to take that
Speaker 1: one to heart for sure.
Speaker 3: All right. And number ten celebrating what you did accomplish.
Speaker 1: I love this one. This is my jam. The boundaries
Speaker 1: are your jam. Celebrating accomplishments. Absolutely. I think that maybe
Speaker 1: sometimes people feel embarrassed to do so, or you know,
Speaker 1: somehow think it's bragging or it's a little complicated. It's
Speaker 1: not like when it comes like, for instance, when we
Speaker 1: crossed the finish line in a marathon. Yeah, we threw
Speaker 1: ourselves a party on my birthday. I'll throw myself a party.
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's something that is selfish. I
Speaker 1: think that's something just you're acknowledging A, you made it
Speaker 1: around the sun another year, or b that you accomplished
Speaker 1: something that you worked really hard for, and I think
Speaker 1: making the time to acknowledge that and to really enjoy it.
Speaker 1: I remember someone told me when I got a job
Speaker 1: that I had been hoping to get for so many
Speaker 1: years and I finally got the position I was hoping for,
Speaker 1: and my boss came up to me and said, now
Speaker 1: here's what you need to do, and this is the
Speaker 1: hardest part. Enjoy it. Why do you think it's hard?
Speaker 1: I mean, have you ever had a hard time enjoying
Speaker 1: or celebrating success or an accomplishment, or even just the
Speaker 1: fact that you made it on this earth for another year?
Speaker 2: No, I forget on a day to day basis sometimes
Speaker 2: blessings I have, but the celebration part, and no, it's
Speaker 2: something when mom told me very very very early on,
Speaker 2: when we're early in the industry, you're trying to get
Speaker 2: a gig and whatnot. And she told me after I
Speaker 2: got an interview to something, I was freaking out about
Speaker 2: getting the gig, she said, celebrate the fact that you
Speaker 2: even got the interview. They literally go have champagne because
Speaker 2: you got the interview. You got so much farther than
Speaker 2: other people who have already gotten. So why don't steal
Speaker 2: this moment because you're worried about the next moment. So, yes,
Speaker 2: that's something she told me very early on. I'll practice that.
Speaker 1: I love that And I think I got the same
Speaker 1: thing from my mom too, because she always we weren't
Speaker 1: you know, we were the opposite of spoiled. But on
Speaker 1: our birthdays, my mom was the one day year I
Speaker 1: was queen. I got to pick, I got to pick
Speaker 1: what we had for dinner that night, I got to
Speaker 1: pick what movie we watched. And it was just this
Speaker 1: moment where I got to feel special and that was
Speaker 1: a cool thing. So I always tell you, my car every.
Speaker 2: Day, what are we eating tonight and what are we watching?
Speaker 1: You said you wanted pizza? Yeah you did, yeah, and
Speaker 1: if you're asking me, it's a rom com. But no.
Speaker 1: The other thing, funny enough, you mentioned champagne, something my
Speaker 1: mom also always taught me. You should always have a
Speaker 1: bottle of champagne in your refrigerator because you never know
Speaker 1: when you're gonna want to celebrate. And I've always had
Speaker 1: a bottle of champing You know this. I have always
Speaker 1: had a bottle of champagne or prosecco in my refrigerator.
Speaker 2: I mean that's there other reasons for that as well.
Speaker 1: I do love an April sprit cinamosa.
Speaker 2: Wait was that number ten?
Speaker 1: Was that number ten?
Speaker 2: That it was number ten? Ok?
Speaker 1: That was a perfect way to end, because I think
Speaker 1: that is maybe a takeaway we can all take to
Speaker 1: heart to not forget, to celebrate the winds and to
Speaker 1: celebrate the moments.
Speaker 2: And Andy, can you give those ten to everybody one
Speaker 2: more time before we go? All right?
Speaker 3: Starts with texting that old friend you've been meaning to call.
Speaker 3: You're finally going to take that weekend trip, saying sorry
Speaker 3: to someone who who deserves it, clearing out the chaos
Speaker 3: in your space, taking the time to remember the good stuff,
Speaker 3: paying attention to your body, showing gratitude to the people
Speaker 3: who matter, saying yes to something you normally skip, setting
Speaker 3: boundaries that you know you need. And number ten was
Speaker 3: celebrating what you did accomplish.
Speaker 1: That is wonderful and thank you all for listening. Hope
Speaker 1: you can take those to heart, and hope maybe you
Speaker 1: can check us out if you haven't already. On the
Speaker 1: Morning Ron, we put up a podcast Monday through Friday
Speaker 1: all the news headlines you need to know, so we
Speaker 1: hope you will check that out. But thank you for
Speaker 1: being the festival