Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, we're brown ambition.
Speaker 2: Hey man, you're black and the black black black black.
Speaker 2: I love that because you know what we do not have,
Speaker 2: Like the the mystery is now solved. Like I feel
Speaker 2: like everyone knows I'm black now and I don't have
Speaker 2: to hide it. But it's like people who don't see color.
Speaker 2: It's like I feel free. I feel free, a little
Speaker 2: bit free, and we can acknowledge our I just can't hid.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I know I'm black, and now you do you do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good song to do with it. What
Speaker 2: is that flash chance?
Speaker 1: I don't even know.
Speaker 4: I'm so excited, Like, can we.
Speaker 2: Choose to turners? Anyway? It's fine, it's not the cuff. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just I was chatting with some friends and I
Speaker 2: was like, there's no going back for me. I can't
Speaker 2: undo the truth that I'm speaking now. I can't go
Speaker 2: back to the way I used to be, where I
Speaker 2: tried to diminish myself to be more palatable to people.
Speaker 2: I don't think I can go back. It feels too
Speaker 2: good to just say what you think.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Oh did you see my husband broke this
Speaker 2: news to me, Oh, I don't know what. I guess
Speaker 2: I'm happy. I guess I'm relieved. But you know, Bubba
Speaker 2: Wallace a NASCAR driver, Yes, the like one of I
Speaker 2: think the only black NASCAR drivers. So he made a
Speaker 2: lot of headlines. God, I never knew this man's name.
Speaker 2: I grew up in Locust Grove, Georgia, which McDonough, Georgia,
Speaker 2: which was home of the NASCAR racetrack. Man. I just
Speaker 2: steered very clear away from that because the whole business
Speaker 2: of NASCAR is just steeped, I think, in racism, and
Speaker 2: it's so attracts a crowd that you know that they
Speaker 2: have a bad rap, you know. And Bubba Wallace came
Speaker 2: out and supported the ban of the Confederate flags at
Speaker 2: NASCAR rallies or whatever you call them. I don't I'm
Speaker 2: not equipped to talk about this. Is it a sport whatever.
Speaker 2: So NASCAR banned Confederate flags, and Bubba Wallace became at
Speaker 2: least he just he was on all the morning shows.
Speaker 2: That's how I saw him on the Today Show. First
Speaker 2: of all, I mean, he's extremely handsome. Go check him
Speaker 2: out if you haven't do your googles.
Speaker 3: I saw him like a lot far away. Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: going to take a look after he's not.
Speaker 2: I kind of imagine, like maybe real will look like
Speaker 2: him one day. But anyway, that's also weird. The point
Speaker 2: of what I'm trying to get at is that, so
Speaker 2: he came out in support of banning the Confederate flag,
Speaker 2: NASCAR totally backed him, which I was personally shocked by,
Speaker 2: because I mean, I formed my opinion of the NASCAR
Speaker 2: crowd a long time ago, and that's also a problem
Speaker 2: in and of itself. I should give people a chance,
Speaker 2: but they have a terrible history behind them. Anyway, this
Speaker 2: week it came out, or was it late last week,
Speaker 2: Bubba Wallace found what he thought was a noose hanging
Speaker 2: from the garage door where he parked his car for
Speaker 2: this race or whatever, and in true like solidarity with him.
Speaker 2: It was actually beautiful to see. There was this spiral
Speaker 2: video where all of the drivers in this I'm gonna
Speaker 2: keep calling it a rally. I'm really sorry if you're
Speaker 2: a fan, I don't know what else to call it.
Speaker 2: Before they drive around the track a bunch of times
Speaker 2: the race or whatever, they to show solidarity with Bubba Wallace,
Speaker 2: they pushed his car down the track and they took
Speaker 2: a big photo with him, and there were so many
Speaker 2: statements of support. Yes, NASCAR was all over it, and sadly,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, of course, of course found a
Speaker 2: noose in his garage. It's NASCAR, and you know, these
Speaker 2: people are like racist, even if the companies, even if
Speaker 2: the business itself was coming out, you know, in favor
Speaker 2: of inclusivity. So it came out today. Fortunately it was
Speaker 2: not a hate crime. The FBI investigated, they did it
Speaker 2: very quickly, and it turned out that the news quote
Speaker 2: unquote was was hanging from the garage door way back
Speaker 2: like last year, and they have security footage. So it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, part of me is relieved because it feels like, okay, good,
Speaker 2: I mean, at least, at least there was one terrible
Speaker 2: hate crime story that ended up not being a hate crime.
Speaker 2: And as far as I know, it was not at
Speaker 2: all like a Jesse Smalllett situation where you know, he
Speaker 2: hung the news himself and then took a picture of
Speaker 2: selfiea it. You know, remember Jesse Smalllett.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, remember when scandals were like so simple
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Like, oh Jesse right, all he lied.
Speaker 3: And you know, but now we're like, we have bigger
Speaker 3: fish to fry, Jesse, You're off the hook.
Speaker 2: Beggar fresh. So that ended up being at least a
Speaker 2: happy ending, and FBI investigated really quickly, and NASCAR was like,
Speaker 2: this is the this is the this is the outcome.
Speaker 2: You know, we were all hoping for that it would
Speaker 2: not turn out to be a hate crime. And good
Speaker 2: because I feel like Bubba Wallace, I mean, he's done
Speaker 2: huge things for the sport just in the last week
Speaker 2: by bringing recognition to it and shout out to the
Speaker 2: black athletes in white sports. Like there was also a
Speaker 2: man who plays in the National Hockey League and again,
Speaker 2: your girl knows nothing about this sport except for this
Speaker 2: black man had opened up about the racism and the
Speaker 2: bullying that he had to endure in that sport and
Speaker 2: how just insidious it was within the sport itself. And
Speaker 2: Bubba and this other guy whose name I do not
Speaker 2: know what I'm very sorry, they're so brave to speak
Speaker 2: out and know that they have to go back down,
Speaker 2: yes to the locker room. Do they have those? And Okay,
Speaker 2: I should just talking about stuff I don't know about,
Speaker 2: but it takes real bravery and it's time for us
Speaker 2: to expect. You know. It's one of those things where
Speaker 2: I just accepted in my mind a world where NASCAR
Speaker 2: was just for white people. It was a racist sport,
Speaker 2: Confederate flags, you know, And it's nice. It's nice to
Speaker 2: think that maybe a generation or two from now they'll
Speaker 2: think of Nascar as you know, oh Bubba Wallace or
Speaker 2: you know, the twenty five bubble Wallaces that that may
Speaker 2: come next. Which is that just nice to see it is?
Speaker 1: Well and some not so nice news.
Speaker 3: Well, so I feel like, you know, we've all seen
Speaker 3: all the companies doing like their statements and things like.
Speaker 4: We stand with Black Lives Matter.
Speaker 3: We you know, if you know, to me, if you're
Speaker 3: not coming like Ben and Jerry's, I don't believe you.
Speaker 2: Ever since you mentioned Ben and Jerry's, I just saw
Speaker 2: another headline that they're stopping ads on Facebook because of
Speaker 2: Facebook's history of non inclusive advertising or whatever. Continue here.
Speaker 3: They're like, awesome, if you haven't googled Ben and Jerry's
Speaker 3: Black Lives Matter statement, it's amazing. So this brand reached
Speaker 3: out to me, who I've worked with financial brand and
Speaker 3: their product is you know, good decent, and they were like, oh,
Speaker 3: we saw what you did we share the mic, Tiffany,
Speaker 3: and they might listen, hey boo, but we saw what
Speaker 3: you did. We share the mic, and we'd love for
Speaker 3: you to take over our ig feed, and we'd love
Speaker 3: for you to, like, you know, be transparent, be yourself,
Speaker 3: share like how you did with share the mic.
Speaker 4: I said, Oh my gosh, it sounds great. Dot in the.
Speaker 3: Phone with one of their I don't know if she
Speaker 3: was an executive or what, but I've spoken to the
Speaker 3: president of this company before when they wanted me to
Speaker 3: work with them, and I was like, okay, sounds great.
Speaker 3: Everything was sounding great, great, great great great until it
Speaker 3: came out, and to be fair, she shared it candidly that, oh, so,
Speaker 3: I just want to be honest, we don't have any
Speaker 3: black employees. And I'm like, are you guys based in
Speaker 3: like New Zealand or something. Oh no, Silicon.
Speaker 4: Valley, oh and me at all?
Speaker 2: Out of how many?
Speaker 4: And I asked that's why, I said, I said how many?
Speaker 4: She said thirty.
Speaker 3: I said, what about contract workers, you know, because I
Speaker 3: hire Captholck and she was like no, I said, so,
Speaker 3: no black employees out of thirty even though you're based
Speaker 3: here in the United States. Where there's plenty of black folks,
Speaker 3: no contract workers. I said, even we have Nate. Nate
Speaker 3: is the one white guy on our team and the
Speaker 3: sea assistance. There's Nate, right, and I've had we work
Speaker 3: with other people we've worked with. Of course, my team
Speaker 3: is largely African American women, but we work with all
Speaker 3: types of people before a contract and otherwise.
Speaker 4: And I told her that.
Speaker 3: I said, even we a black women run business that
Speaker 3: serves black women have like you know, we work with Hector,
Speaker 3: he's a Hispanic male Nate. I think her name was
Speaker 3: Heather my agent, Heather, my other agent la, but even
Speaker 3: I have other.
Speaker 4: And she was just like, yeah, you know, we can
Speaker 4: do better.
Speaker 1: And I said, uh, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: So why I'm not here to be your brown band
Speaker 3: aid on your ig when you have a real problem internally.
Speaker 3: And she's like, oh no, no, that was not the intention.
Speaker 3: And she said, oh wait wait and then she said this,
Speaker 3: which I'm like, wow. She was like, wait, we do
Speaker 3: hire black models and actors. I guess they do commercials
Speaker 3: and things and for their ads, and then we also
Speaker 3: have black partner partners like you. I thought, oh, so
Speaker 3: you take the black dollar, got it, you know? But
Speaker 3: you don't hire black people. Ooh even better and she
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god. I was like, do you
Speaker 3: see how terrible that sounds? So you acknowledge that you
Speaker 3: want black people's money, so you lure them with black
Speaker 3: bait like me, and you put them in black ads
Speaker 3: and black commercials to get black money. But Ah, would
Speaker 3: never ever ever hire black people.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you see what that sounds like?
Speaker 3: Oh, but what we will do is get black Tiffany
Speaker 3: to be on our ig to say hey, look we're
Speaker 3: black adjacent and then go back to being not really
Speaker 3: in solidarity with black people. So you can take black
Speaker 3: dollars but can't put money back into black pockets.
Speaker 2: Got it?
Speaker 1: And she was like, no, no, that was not my
Speaker 1: That's not what I meant.
Speaker 4: I can see how that sounds. I'm like, it's not
Speaker 4: really about how it sounds, it's just how it is.
Speaker 3: And so she was like, well, you know it basically,
Speaker 3: And I mean obviously I told them no, And well
Speaker 3: she was like, you know, I'm going to check back
Speaker 3: in with you next week. But I'm sure she marinated
Speaker 3: it on and realized, like check back in sis, it's a rap, honestly,
Speaker 3: And I told her the truth is, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to be pushing your product anymore. Well, if you're listening,
Speaker 3: just so you know, we're not going to be pushing
Speaker 3: your product anymore, because you know, what she did say
Speaker 3: is is that you know, we do have a policy
Speaker 3: in place that the next like you know, the next
Speaker 3: hire or the next few hires will be black people,
Speaker 3: which it just seems so that's not it, sis like,
Speaker 3: and I was like, because one, what are you hiring next?
Speaker 3: And she's like, well, it is quarantine during the pandemic.
Speaker 3: In other words, you're not hiring. So let's be clear
Speaker 3: on that. And it's not about and actually use you
Speaker 3: as an example of Mandy. I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: one of my friends, she's in a position to hire people,
Speaker 3: and you know what she's done. She widens the net.
Speaker 4: Black people don't need you to.
Speaker 3: Accommodate with them with crumbs. If you widen the net
Speaker 3: in your search for people to hire, you will find
Speaker 3: people who are qualified, all racist genders, creeds and all that.
Speaker 3: You do not widen your net. And it's purposefully done,
Speaker 3: I said, because here I am, I too run a
Speaker 3: financial company, and we have man to fill it with
Speaker 3: twenty five black women imagine that they're out there, you know,
Speaker 3: and so so yeah, hey girl, if you're listening, I'm
Speaker 3: not working with you anymore and we're not pushing your
Speaker 3: product anymore.
Speaker 1: It's not in alignment with the way I want to
Speaker 1: show up.
Speaker 3: So the truth is I've been looking at different products
Speaker 3: and services that we use and looking to see who's
Speaker 3: on their team to see, Like, I don't care about
Speaker 3: your post on ig and your stinking email. I want
Speaker 3: to see how do you really show up behind the scenes.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that was like, you know, that was so crazy.
Speaker 3: I was like, I know she cut I know she
Speaker 3: was like, That's how I thought this was going to end.
Speaker 2: I hope that this continues to happen. I had a
Speaker 2: similar and shout out to you for well, I mean,
Speaker 2: give her credit for acknowledging it, and give you credit
Speaker 2: for taking that information in doing what you did. You
Speaker 2: don't get a cookie for acknowledging the problem. That's exactly
Speaker 2: what I've decided not to accept from the company that
Speaker 2: I work for. And I talked last week about how
Speaker 2: I wrote an email to my CEO and with six
Speaker 2: points in the email, and I know one of our
Speaker 2: listeners reached out to me and wanted wanted me to
Speaker 2: share the six points, and I want to do that,
Speaker 2: but a little bit more because, as I said on
Speaker 2: last week's show, I feel like there's a huge opportunity
Speaker 2: here where we can finally acknowledge our blackness in the workplace,
Speaker 2: tell people how it is, and then get them to
Speaker 2: do something about it, because I'm not interested in hearing
Speaker 2: someone hem and haw and just like, oh, I've just
Speaker 2: never I had never meant to be racist. How could
Speaker 2: I have created a workplace that could not be inclusive
Speaker 2: of everybody? Like this is just terrible, I've realized as
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, like I don't have time to
Speaker 2: listen to you have this epiphany. I want to see
Speaker 2: real action. Okay, now you have it. You can feel
Speaker 2: your feelings at home, you know, talk to your friends
Speaker 2: and your family about how you feel so bad about
Speaker 2: what's happened. But when it comes to the like, I
Speaker 2: don't I'm not here to like make you feel better
Speaker 2: about it. I am here with solutions, and solutions are
Speaker 2: what I want to see happen. And Tiffany to your
Speaker 2: point when it comes to choosing who you want to work,
Speaker 2: but it's the same thing about trying to be more
Speaker 2: inclusive when we decide where to spend our money, and
Speaker 2: that is the heart behind by black. That is the heart,
Speaker 2: that is the intention behind buying black. It's that you
Speaker 2: try to lift up businesses that are typically not mainstream
Speaker 2: and are not trafficked like other businesses. So for me,
Speaker 2: as someone who has worked for several companies in the
Speaker 2: last decade plus of my career, I've never questioned what
Speaker 2: are the values of the company I'm working for. I've
Speaker 2: looked at a job and said, what will this teach me?
Speaker 2: Where can I go from here? Is this a good
Speaker 2: career move for me? And of course, once I get there,
Speaker 2: the inclusivity of a place truly does impact me and
Speaker 2: my career advancement and things like that, But I never
Speaker 2: actually considered that thoughtfully looking at a job, is this
Speaker 2: a place where people like me can thrive? And what
Speaker 2: I've found every job I've left, if I'm looking back,
Speaker 2: and I'm truly looking back, I can point to the
Speaker 2: fact that they were not diverse. There was no commitment
Speaker 2: to inclusivity, there was no commitment to making sure that
Speaker 2: everyone had a level playing field, and in some weird way,
Speaker 2: I had to leave like not some weird way, but
Speaker 2: I eventually left indirectly for that reason. That's that's how
Speaker 2: I feel. So I'm making a commitment. And this is
Speaker 2: something like Tiffany, you could walk away from this relationship.
Speaker 2: Doesn't sound like it was going to be like a
Speaker 2: paid opportunity. But I know that your business is such
Speaker 2: that you can walk away from some opportunities. And I
Speaker 2: understand not everybody has that. That's a privilege in and
Speaker 2: of itself. And I'm saying this fully knowing that you know.
Speaker 2: I'm still a publican, I'm still an employee of a
Speaker 2: public company. Anything could happen. But as long as I've
Speaker 2: got a choice, and I of course i will choose
Speaker 2: a paycheck so I can feed my son over any
Speaker 2: moral high ground. I don't know anyone who wouldn't. But
Speaker 2: as long as I have a choice, and as long
Speaker 2: as I can use it in this way, I will
Speaker 2: not work for another company as long as it's within
Speaker 2: my power and I have the ability that is not
Speaker 2: already doing it right, because I'm sick and tired of
Speaker 2: having to be on the on the advisory board for
Speaker 2: this and go to the Black Employee group and and
Speaker 2: and you know, bang my head against the wall with
Speaker 2: other black employees about what happened, and this happened, and
Speaker 2: and and you know, find a safe space to talk
Speaker 2: about being black, Like fuck that I'm done with it.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be this way. And it's again,
Speaker 2: it's like, we shouldn't have to accept this mainstream normalcy,
Speaker 2: and we shouldn't have to keep diminishing ourselves, keep changing ourselves,
Speaker 2: keep trying to conform to mainstream standards, just so we
Speaker 2: can achieve a like a livelihood, just so we can
Speaker 2: have a sliver of a shot as a person next
Speaker 2: to us who is part of that mainstream, part of
Speaker 2: the system, part of the people that the system was
Speaker 2: really and truly built for. And there are companies out there.
Speaker 2: I believe they have to exist, Tiffany. You're one of
Speaker 2: them that are doing things right. And I that is
Speaker 2: my commitment. And now when it comes to my current company,
Speaker 2: I genuinely feel this way. And when we had our
Speaker 2: call with the CEO last week, you know, it was
Speaker 2: a small group, it was great. I told him, just
Speaker 2: like I told my team, like, if it can't happen here,
Speaker 2: if we can't make some true if we can't make
Speaker 2: something really happen and change and move the needle. Here
Speaker 2: at a company where I think people genuinely do care,
Speaker 2: where they are committed, where they are open minded, generally progressive, lovely,
Speaker 2: nice people to work with, then it can't We're can
Speaker 2: happen anywhere, you know, and I give up. So I'm committed.
Speaker 2: I'm all in, like I'm all in this time to
Speaker 2: help get us there, and I will, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: going to be I'm joining the task force that they
Speaker 2: put together to help create some change when it comes
Speaker 2: to inclusivity. I'm not going to shut up about it.
Speaker 2: We have I don't know if any of you guys
Speaker 2: at companies have a mid year performance review or you
Speaker 2: set goals for the year. At our company, we have
Speaker 2: a specific goal setting goal setting system called Objectives and
Speaker 2: key Results, which is very popular because this is what
Speaker 2: made Google Google and all that. And we do it quarterly.
Speaker 2: And we sat through our typical you know, all the
Speaker 2: bosses in a room and let's talk about what your
Speaker 2: objectives are going to be for the next quarter. Q
Speaker 2: three is coming up. And it was a nice call.
Speaker 2: And as soon as it was over, because I didn't
Speaker 2: want to, like, I didn't want to. I wanted it
Speaker 2: to be a short call and I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: sit here and have a debate. I send an email
Speaker 2: because there was no team wide call for any objective
Speaker 2: tied to inclusivity, not a single one. And I send
Speaker 2: an email and I see seed our HR again and
Speaker 2: I said, Okay, here are twelve, like literally twelve bullet points.
Speaker 2: Here's ideas for what we can include for our objection
Speaker 2: objective relating to inclusivity. It's a missed opportunity if we
Speaker 2: don't do it. And there's another meeting to talk about
Speaker 2: it next week. And I so, I like, I said,
Speaker 2: I'm all in with this, like a lot. Yeah, thank
Speaker 2: you many oh thanks, I mean thank you for thanking me.
Speaker 2: But I just if you're in it, if you have
Speaker 2: a tiny bit of power within your company, and even
Speaker 2: if you don't, I feel like now now we have
Speaker 2: like the opportunity is ripe for us to stand up
Speaker 2: and speak and ask for things, and one hundred percent
Speaker 2: like we need businesses like Tiffany who who who hire
Speaker 2: from that way from the beginning and don't have to
Speaker 2: go back and fix a broken system. But there's so
Speaker 2: many companies out there that are already entrenched in their
Speaker 2: ways and we need to infiltrate them. And that sounds
Speaker 2: so malicious, but we need like we need people on
Speaker 2: the right side within those companies willing, and it's exhausting work.
Speaker 2: I know, it's on top of the day jobs we
Speaker 2: already freaking have. But if you have a position of
Speaker 2: power where you can share your influence, please do so
Speaker 2: that it can be easier and better for people coming
Speaker 2: behind you. And I I'm putting my best foot forward
Speaker 2: so far. I'm cautiously optimistic and I really hope that
Speaker 2: we can make some change, and I hope the accountability
Speaker 2: is there. Accountability is everything, and.
Speaker 3: It's like see, for me, it's I don't know, I
Speaker 3: don't want to say easy, but you know, like one,
Speaker 3: I own my company, so who's gonna check me boo right?
Speaker 3: And then two, you know, the space is already there,
Speaker 3: so I can't imagine how hard it is if you
Speaker 3: are in a place where you're creating the space from scratch.
Speaker 3: So that's why I just said thank you, because it's
Speaker 3: not easy to do that, you know, Like it's you know,
Speaker 3: it would be weird as black women not talking to
Speaker 3: other black women about like what's happening. I mean, it's
Speaker 3: just part of our normal, everyday conversation. So not to
Speaker 3: say it's it's you know, it's not been easy to
Speaker 3: create a company that that that does that, but it's
Speaker 3: having the conversation with with the people that I work
Speaker 3: with is not a hard conversation. It's disheartening because we're
Speaker 3: all like, yeah, we're all on the same page. But
Speaker 3: I just want to commend you, Amandy, because it's not
Speaker 3: you know, I'm trying to think, well, only one time
Speaker 3: have I ever worked in an environment where you know,
Speaker 3: that would have been hard because when I graduated college,
Speaker 3: I my first job was a preschool teacher in Newark,
Speaker 3: New Jersey.
Speaker 4: So I'm surrounded by black people.
Speaker 3: So if something like if I was still a preschool teacher,
Speaker 3: I'd be talking to my other black preschool teachers about
Speaker 3: what's happening pretty freely. But I do remember before that,
Speaker 3: I had an internship working for Wakefern, which is corporate shop.
Speaker 1: Right for those of you who don't live in like
Speaker 1: the Northeast.
Speaker 3: Shop Right is like a really it's a chain of
Speaker 3: big supermarkets, and I remember distinctly looking at like all
Speaker 3: the executives in the at the shop right or at Wakefern,
Speaker 3: which is the corporate side, and none of them were black.
Speaker 3: And I remember that they had this one analyst, so
Speaker 3: it was like corporate. Then it was like the analyst,
Speaker 3: and then it was like like the rest of us.
Speaker 3: And then it was like the actual warehouse where the
Speaker 3: guys were actually packing up things to put them on
Speaker 3: these big these big trucks that would go from shop
Speaker 3: right to shopright.
Speaker 4: I remember thinking.
Speaker 3: It looked like a plantation because it was inside the
Speaker 3: office it was all white. And then me and then
Speaker 3: there was this one door that opened to the warehouse
Speaker 3: and it was all these young black guys and I
Speaker 3: just remember thinking it was like the oddest thing, like
Speaker 3: what And this one black analyst that me being there
Speaker 3: while I was there during the summer, they demoted him
Speaker 3: to some other, like smaller job, and I just remember thinking,
Speaker 3: And then they actually offered me a job there. And
Speaker 3: the executive assistant to the president or the CEO, she
Speaker 3: was the other black woman who actually worked.
Speaker 4: She was an older black woman. She was like my
Speaker 4: work mom.
Speaker 3: She pulled me to the side and I'll never forget
Speaker 3: and she said, I heard they offered your job. It
Speaker 3: was like my second year interning, second or third year.
Speaker 3: She said, I heard they offered your job, baby. I
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, you know, they're gonna pay good. She
Speaker 3: was like, she said, you see what they did to Pernell.
Speaker 3: Parnell is the you know, was the analyst that they
Speaker 3: that they demoted. She said, you see where all the
Speaker 3: other black people work. You take that job. You a
Speaker 3: goddamn fool.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what work?
Speaker 3: I was like, work, mom, But honestly, she changed the
Speaker 3: directing of my life because I was already miserable there.
Speaker 3: But they were gonna pay me fifty thousand dollars, which
Speaker 3: was such big money. Graduated in college. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh. And even though in my heart of hearts,
Speaker 3: I knew how I wanted to be a teacher, but
Speaker 3: the teaching job that I'd interviewed for was gonna pay
Speaker 3: me thirty two thousand, and then here Wakeferm was gonna pay.
Speaker 4: Me fifty thousand.
Speaker 3: So I was heavily considering, because hello, I wanted to
Speaker 3: get my own apartment and my own car. But when
Speaker 3: she said that, she was like what I couldn't believe
Speaker 3: beause she she lured me in with that sweetness, like, hey, baby.
Speaker 4: Come on into my office.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, work mom, y'all.
Speaker 4: I'll never forget her face.
Speaker 3: She looked at me like that, only like a grandma
Speaker 3: could because she's an older woman, straight in the eye.
Speaker 3: Was like, you would be a goddamn fool. And I
Speaker 3: was like, I was like, you lost that. I said yes, ma'am,
Speaker 3: and I turned it down and I became a preschool teacher,
Speaker 3: which led to me becoming the budgetista. But it just like,
Speaker 3: you know, so to create I say all that to say,
Speaker 3: for you to create space like that in a place
Speaker 3: where there is no space, that's a very difficult and
Speaker 3: brave thing to do. So I just like, you know,
Speaker 3: I can't imagine what that would look like and feel
Speaker 3: like and if I would have the courage to do so,
Speaker 3: because it takes a lot of courage to do that.
Speaker 4: So thank you.
Speaker 2: Well, somebody let me loose and let me hire everybody.
Speaker 2: And my team is forty percent people of color. And
Speaker 2: I feel like I've taken the past three years to
Speaker 2: quietly and it's and thoughtfully meaningfully choose how I wanted
Speaker 2: to build this team, and now I feel like, can't
Speaker 2: tell me it can't be done. I've done it, and
Speaker 2: we're one of Like I said this in my letter,
Speaker 2: we're a successful team. We're we're an engaged team. We
Speaker 2: are a productive team. We you know, we get our
Speaker 2: shit done. And you can't tell me it can't be
Speaker 2: done because now I've shown it to you and I've
Speaker 2: done it without any help or training or anything like that.
Speaker 2: And really quickly, I wanted to run through a list,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna I'm actually going to put this in
Speaker 2: a dock for the notes, and Kelly could include it
Speaker 2: in the show notes of a list. If you're working
Speaker 2: for a company and you're wondering, you know, what should
Speaker 2: I be asking for right now? I want to I
Speaker 2: want to use my voice and speak up, whether it's
Speaker 2: at a town hall or an email to HR or whatever.
Speaker 2: Just I'm going to do a quick summary and then
Speaker 2: I'll include like a more detailed list than our show notes,
Speaker 2: but a couple of things. Ask the company to publish
Speaker 2: demographics of the staff, diversity stats, what percentage are black,
Speaker 2: what percentage are white, et cetera, women versus men, all
Speaker 2: of that, and if they don't have it published or
Speaker 2: it's hidden behind some you know, mystical door, and human
Speaker 2: resources ask them why they aren't sharing it with the company,
Speaker 2: because how can you measure your own success if you
Speaker 2: don't know where the starting line is? And how can
Speaker 2: managing How can someone like me, for example, I say
Speaker 2: forty percent of my team is people of color. I
Speaker 2: did my own assessment, But how can I know if
Speaker 2: I'm above average or below average? Or what is the
Speaker 2: baseline we should be aiming for? That's the first thing.
Speaker 2: Second thing, and this is a point I made on
Speaker 2: the call with the CEO last week, is okay. He
Speaker 2: was speaking very passionately about the importance of inclusivity and
Speaker 2: how just he he hates, hates that anyone would feel
Speaker 2: such microaggressions in the office and that the place would
Speaker 2: be not hospitable to every one of every race and
Speaker 2: sexuality and all that. And I said, that's very nice,
Speaker 2: But do your executives think so? Does the board of
Speaker 2: directors feel the same way? It does every manager at
Speaker 2: the company in a position of hiring, giving performance reviews,
Speaker 2: doing compensation reviews? Do they think so? And how do
Speaker 2: we hold them accountable for agreeing with you? Because it
Speaker 2: doesn't matter. And this is the same thing with like
Speaker 2: the President of the United States a little bit. Yes,
Speaker 2: he's a complete ignorant asshole, believing my CEO is nothing
Speaker 2: like that. But I'm just making the analogy. But honestly,
Speaker 2: it's not so much what he says and does is important,
Speaker 2: but it's also the people in Congress who you know,
Speaker 2: are enabling him to do these things and enacting legislation,
Speaker 2: you know, to promote his ideals. They really are the
Speaker 2: little worker ants on the ground who can make these
Speaker 2: systems proliferate, you know. So for me, it's the same thing.
Speaker 2: We need people beneath him to feel the same way.
Speaker 2: So how do you do that? I recommend a sponsorship program.
Speaker 2: And this is like a formal This is a formalized
Speaker 2: version of what I've had through my quote unquote sponsor,
Speaker 2: the guy who hired me four years ago, someone who
Speaker 2: when you were hired at the company and you're a
Speaker 2: person of color, you're matched with someone a couple of
Speaker 2: rungs above you at least, who is charged with being
Speaker 2: your advocate, with being your coach, with being your sounding board,
Speaker 2: someone who can help you navigate and help you understand
Speaker 2: how things work and bounce ideas off and help you
Speaker 2: chart your own career path, and they're held accountable for
Speaker 2: whether or not you stay and how you thrive there
Speaker 2: and if you thrive there, and helping you feel like
Speaker 2: you're welcome there. And I think that would be a
Speaker 2: big difference. And it would also show people in management
Speaker 2: that we really care about inclusivity so much so we're
Speaker 2: going to ask you to help us by sponsoring a
Speaker 2: worker you know, on a different team or whatnot, to
Speaker 2: have some skin in the game and help us create
Speaker 2: an environment where people of color can thrive because we
Speaker 2: recognize they do not come in with the same advantages
Speaker 2: and privileges that others do. I said, I was going
Speaker 2: to be quick, and here I go. No, that's good
Speaker 2: equity training. This is racial equity training or unconscious bias training.
Speaker 2: For any manager who's going to be hiring, they have
Speaker 2: got to know, Okay, I have unconscious bias. My preference
Speaker 2: is going to be for people who look like my
Speaker 2: daughter or my cousin, or someone who I think looks
Speaker 2: like a boss. And what does that mean. Help people
Speaker 2: understand the way that they're approaching, Help them understand how
Speaker 2: they can look at a hundred resumes and not unconsciously
Speaker 2: go for the ones that have names that sound like
Speaker 2: whatever role they're looking for. You know, people need that
Speaker 2: type of training. And you give people a lot of
Speaker 2: power to screw you up. If you're the head of
Speaker 2: a company and you don't want to look like you're
Speaker 2: you know, out of touch with what's happening in modern society.
Speaker 2: You're giving people a lot of power to do that
Speaker 2: when you say hire whoever you want. Another thing about
Speaker 2: hiring and I credit my friend Baron who works at
Speaker 2: a big company. Can I see where he works? Probably not. Anyway,
Speaker 2: it's a big social media company and he is on
Speaker 2: the task force. And what they're doing is they're asking
Speaker 2: for more specific performance reviews because you may not realize,
Speaker 2: but the way that performance reviews are structured can often
Speaker 2: work against people of color and it just gives way
Speaker 2: to bias again, to creep in. And the way that
Speaker 2: it can do that is if you have, like often
Speaker 2: you have ratings, you know, how is someone doing or
Speaker 2: you know, what do they need to do to get
Speaker 2: to the next level of their position that they're working at,
Speaker 2: And if it's not very specific, like if there aren't
Speaker 2: objective specific metrics for what does it take to be
Speaker 2: level one? What does it take to be level two
Speaker 2: or level three? If you can't explain that to someone
Speaker 2: and it's all the same requirement across the company, then
Speaker 2: you're leaving it up to people to decide what their
Speaker 2: own opinions and their own subjective thoughts who's ready for
Speaker 2: a promotion or who's worthy of a promotion. So you
Speaker 2: need to really define those things if you're going to
Speaker 2: be doing performance reviews and saying those performance reviews and
Speaker 2: ratings can influence, you know, raises, promotions and things like that.
Speaker 2: So shout out to him for giving me that idea.
Speaker 2: And small shit like our company didn't give MLK day off. Okay,
Speaker 2: we have unlimited PTO And one time I caught myself
Speaker 2: someone asked me recently. They were like, oh, we don't
Speaker 2: get oh it was around the holiday. Duah, we don't
Speaker 2: get mlkday off.
Speaker 4: Why is that?
Speaker 2: And I started, and I started, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: well we have we have unlimited PTO, so if you
Speaker 2: want to take the day off, you can take the
Speaker 2: day off. In the back of my head, I'm thinking,
Speaker 2: what the fun am I saying? Why am I making
Speaker 2: excuses for this? Yeah, why don't we have MLK day off.
Speaker 2: It like those little things send a message to your
Speaker 2: black employees. And that's why that's why we have all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, everyone's got Juneteenth off. And if your
Speaker 2: company does not have MLK day off, like, what are
Speaker 2: they telling you? What are they telling you? They're telling
Speaker 2: you that other days are more important, that they matter more.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a that is just a message that
Speaker 2: you don't it's such as it's a message that you
Speaker 2: don't know you're sending, but you're sending one when you
Speaker 2: don't have days like that off. Let's see dress codes.
Speaker 2: If you have a dress code at your company that
Speaker 2: can potentially be discriminatory to people of color, ask them
Speaker 2: to eliminate it, whether it's a certain way that you're
Speaker 2: told to dress so that you can or wear your
Speaker 2: hair or anything like that. I think in some states
Speaker 2: it's even illegal now to tell people how to wear
Speaker 2: their hair to the office. But I know some companies
Speaker 2: maybe we'll be trying to get around that. So keep
Speaker 2: your eyes out for that pay equity study. So how
Speaker 2: are you paying women and men and different races at
Speaker 2: your company? And is it equitable? This is really freaking
Speaker 2: hard to do, and as a hiring manager. I have
Speaker 2: seen how pay disparities creep in accidentally, even with well
Speaker 2: meeting managers, including myself at the table. But that doesn't
Speaker 2: mean you can't correct it. You know when you see it,
Speaker 2: but you can't correct it unless everyone is on the
Speaker 2: same page that we need to correct it. And those
Speaker 2: are just a few things. I will save the rest
Speaker 2: and put it in a dock. But I hope this
Speaker 2: is helpful to you guys and feel empowered. I think
Speaker 2: now now is the time to ask for these types
Speaker 2: of things and be a little bit brave because they
Speaker 2: seem to want to listen, and we need to hold
Speaker 2: them accountable. Like if we don't continue bringing this up,
Speaker 2: if your social media feed goes back to normal, shake
Speaker 2: it up, post something you know, don't let people forget,
Speaker 2: don't let them off the hook. Let's let's do something
Speaker 2: while we can.
Speaker 3: What I love is that what people have been doing
Speaker 3: with Breonna Taylor, right. I don't know if you've seen
Speaker 3: It'll be something like it's such a really nice day
Speaker 3: outside and Breonna Taylor's.
Speaker 4: Killers are still on the lofty.
Speaker 3: Someone wrote, like one of my friends actually went viral
Speaker 3: shout to Tayshawn.
Speaker 4: He wrote, because right now.
Speaker 3: We're also annoyed by the dag on firecrackers, going, I
Speaker 3: don't know where you live they're doing it, but here
Speaker 3: around here. I mean everyone's been complaining my timeline fee,
Speaker 3: these damn firecrackers. Someone was like, you know what, you knew?
Speaker 3: Who you should call if you're really annoyed by the firecrackers? Uh?
Speaker 4: The governor?
Speaker 3: Because Breonna Taylor's killers are still on the loose, so
Speaker 3: everyone is tying it back to why have they not
Speaker 3: been prosecuted? Why have they not been arrested? And so yeah,
Speaker 3: just like to.
Speaker 1: Your point, keeping the points in.
Speaker 3: People's faces, not letting people forget, keep saying it yeah.
Speaker 2: And say their name, Yeah, say their name.
Speaker 4: So that was great.
Speaker 3: And honestly, the payscale thing, people say that it's bullshit
Speaker 3: because I mean, I know, I'm not a huge company,
Speaker 3: but we created a pay system, like we literally created
Speaker 3: it from scratch, my CFO and I my R CFO
Speaker 3: and I because I wanted to have pay transparency, but
Speaker 3: in a way that you couldn't necessarily guess what everybody
Speaker 3: else is paying so getting paid. So we created this
Speaker 3: color coded system where you know your color, so like
Speaker 3: Interurn is yellow, and C suite, it's pink and purple.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, it might be like someone who
Speaker 3: has a liaison with one that works on one project
Speaker 3: and blue is a LEAs young that works on two.
Speaker 3: So we color coded so you know your color, and
Speaker 3: behind the scenes, myself, the CFO, and the and our
Speaker 3: book keeper knows your color.
Speaker 4: So it's the only people who know.
Speaker 3: And then in each color sequence, you know exactly what
Speaker 3: the like, what the job entails, so you can see
Speaker 3: what you have to do to move from one color
Speaker 3: to the next. And then also in each color sequence,
Speaker 3: there are three pay pay markers where like this is
Speaker 3: beginning paid. So let's just say intern beginning pay is say,
Speaker 3: like I don't know, al let's pretend it's like fifteen bucks,
Speaker 3: and then it's like middle pay seventeen and fifty and
Speaker 3: then n pay twenty dollars an hour. So you might
Speaker 3: come in as a brand new intern. We don't have
Speaker 3: to wonder what is the brand new intern going to
Speaker 3: make fifteen bucks? And then if they stay long enough
Speaker 3: and they do a great job, you know that the
Speaker 3: next bump up is going to be seventeen fifty. But
Speaker 3: then you, as an intern might actually get hired, and
Speaker 3: you know, oh, I'm going to go from yellow to green,
Speaker 3: and depending on where I land, I'm going to land
Speaker 3: at maybe twenty five bucks an hour. So it makes
Speaker 3: it so everyone can kind of see what they could
Speaker 3: be making, and you can kind of guess what other
Speaker 3: people might be making, but you don't know for sure,
Speaker 3: Like everybody knows who's on the c suite, who's on
Speaker 3: the lead team, so you know, oh, the lead team
Speaker 3: is in the pink, but that's a big range. It's
Speaker 3: like a twenty thousand dollars range there. So it gives
Speaker 3: you enough of an idea of what you could possibly
Speaker 3: be making and maybe what other people on the lead
Speaker 3: team are making, but you don't know specifically what each
Speaker 3: individual person is making.
Speaker 4: So we created that chart.
Speaker 3: It took us a couple of weeks to get it
Speaker 3: like perfectly tweaked, and what happens is as the company
Speaker 3: does better, we will update. So I remember one of
Speaker 3: my goals was I wanted that the lowest paid person
Speaker 3: on the team was twenty dollars an hour, and so
Speaker 3: we've been slowly but surely like upgrading the full chart.
Speaker 3: So what might happen is that you might be blue
Speaker 3: level two and you're making sixty thousand dollars a year,
Speaker 3: but as because we've totally upgraded the chart. Now you're
Speaker 3: making sixty two thousand dollars a year because the chart
Speaker 3: has upgraded, So we're I don't, I personally feel like
Speaker 3: we're not quite paying market rate just yet because I
Speaker 3: want to do even better than market rate. So until
Speaker 3: we get to that point, then you know, then we'll
Speaker 3: start we'll stop doing that full complete upgrade because they
Speaker 3: get individual raises, but then we do what I call
Speaker 3: like just a total company wide raises because we're wanting to,
Speaker 3: you know, do right by the people that work with us,
Speaker 3: so ways.
Speaker 2: Can be made to make absolutely you know, yeah, and
Speaker 2: thank you for doing that, because I'm sick of people
Speaker 2: coaching people on how to negotiate salary. It shouldn't be
Speaker 2: all the pressure. I mean, in some cases, sure you
Speaker 2: should stand up for what you want, but like women
Speaker 2: and minorities, like why do we have to figure out
Speaker 2: the Rubik's cube of salary negotiations and read all these
Speaker 2: articles telling us what to ask but not to ask,
Speaker 2: what to wear we're not to wear who like? So
Speaker 2: that you can figure out how to get paid fairly,
Speaker 2: like that should not be the way that it is.
Speaker 2: And this is what we I'm talking about when I
Speaker 2: say systems, we're trying to conform ourselves and learn how
Speaker 2: the system works. This system should work for us, Like
Speaker 2: why don't you just pay your people equitably? And I
Speaker 2: would have to sit here and guess what I think exactly.
Speaker 3: And even it's fair because it's like, well regardless, so
Speaker 3: when someone comes in, it's not like are they making
Speaker 3: more than me? No, No, they're in that they're they're
Speaker 3: blue because they have two projects just like you, and
Speaker 3: depending on where they land, you know, and somebody might
Speaker 3: make more, but you're both blue.
Speaker 4: So it's almost like you're part of a cohort.
Speaker 3: And so what I do is I look at like, oh,
Speaker 3: this cohort hasn't got a raisin, while is everybody performing?
Speaker 3: That cohort moves up, But it just gives it gives
Speaker 3: me a point of reference or we're not because back
Speaker 3: in the day I just used to I guess she
Speaker 3: makes twenty dollars an hour.
Speaker 4: I didn't even know.
Speaker 3: So it's even it makes it easier even on the
Speaker 3: decision making side about how to pay people. So to me,
Speaker 3: systems are one of the ways that you can stamp
Speaker 3: out racial bias and bias in other ways that if
Speaker 3: people adopt systems, because people are human beings, you know,
Speaker 3: there's no I have bias, There's no way for me
Speaker 3: not to. And so that's why leading out systems is
Speaker 3: just one of the ways. But no, I think that
Speaker 3: to me, I just I feel more hopeful. I love
Speaker 3: the fact that there are people like you out there,
Speaker 3: people like me who are out there because they're the key.
Speaker 3: We can't all divest from the system. People are going
Speaker 3: to be working for companies. So those who are working
Speaker 3: for companies, I want you to be the Mandy while
Speaker 3: you're there, you know. And so thanks Mandra.
Speaker 2: Thanks Teff. Do you want some good breaking news real quickly? Yes,
Speaker 2: Husbe is standing in line to vote on our behalf.
Speaker 2: Because it's a long story. They are only like five
Speaker 2: voting places for the New York primary primary in mind
Speaker 2: in Town, down from sixty last time. Like anyway, the
Speaker 2: line was three hours long. But while he's there, he's
Speaker 2: sending me news alerts. The officer and the shooting death
Speaker 2: that Breonna Taylor in Louisville, Kentucky has been fired Okay,
Speaker 2: so that's that is your update. Okay, so that one
Speaker 2: officer has been fired.
Speaker 4: Okay, so we's got two more to go? Is it
Speaker 4: two more?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: I was it three?
Speaker 4: Yes? I believe.
Speaker 3: Well if for those of you who don't follow Amanda Seals,
Speaker 3: she's got this awesome chart where it's like almost like her.
Speaker 3: There's almost like literally she's like check fired because the
Speaker 3: chart goes like fired, arrested, prosecuted, convicted, So she has
Speaker 3: like a check and I believe I remember seeing three faces.
Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, indicted. And people need to understand how
Speaker 2: the system can work too. I know that this is
Speaker 2: a very long, buzzworthy and let's just let it happen
Speaker 2: because this is the one point because people, if you
Speaker 2: are voting in primaries, primary is important because it dictates
Speaker 2: who's actually going to end up on the ballot for
Speaker 2: the general election. But what you need to understand in
Speaker 2: these and with the criminal justice system, often it's the
Speaker 2: people that you don't think about. It's judges, it's district attorneys.
Speaker 2: They're the ones who have the power to prosecute these people.
Speaker 2: So pay attention to these elections. And that's why I'm glad,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm sad that my husband's in a two
Speaker 2: hour long, two hour line, wait, two hour long line,
Speaker 2: Thank you brain forgiving me that sentence to vote right now.
Speaker 2: But I'm excited that so many people are coming out
Speaker 2: here because you need to understand how the system works
Speaker 2: and that you can vote in a way that changes it.
Speaker 2: Because waiting until November to vote for your president, yeah,
Speaker 2: that can that can have an impact, obviously, and please,
Speaker 2: please do help get enough, But it's these other ones too,
Speaker 2: and real, real quick. Anecdote. I went to a rally
Speaker 2: near my house in I live in the suburbs outside
Speaker 2: of New York. I went to a rally in Black
Speaker 2: Lives Matter rally was the last Tuesday. I biked over there.
Speaker 2: Ran from the baby and the husband before they gave
Speaker 2: me any reason not to, just ran. I got on
Speaker 2: my bike and ran for it, or I biked for it.
Speaker 2: And there was a man there who was sharing a
Speaker 2: story of his father who was shot by police in
Speaker 2: my town eight years ago. And he literally could like
Speaker 2: they literally had audio of the entire murder, the police
Speaker 2: calling him the N word, and the judge in this case,
Speaker 2: the judge in the Court of Appeals decided there wasn't
Speaker 2: enough evidence to support that it was a hate crime
Speaker 2: and did not rule in their favor. And I'm just
Speaker 2: I just want you guys to know, like the momentum
Speaker 2: right now around George Floyd's death and others that have
Speaker 2: that have been swept up in this moment, this is
Speaker 2: crucial and it's it's it's it's great that they're getting
Speaker 2: so much attention, but are there other George Floyd's in
Speaker 2: your community that need to be amplified right now? I
Speaker 2: feel at peace that the world will take Brianna and
Speaker 2: George and hopefully find justice for them. Not the world,
Speaker 2: the nation. I'm right now fighting for Kenneth Chamberlain Senior,
Speaker 2: who was that man sixteen years old murdered by police
Speaker 2: in my town eight years ago. Learning about these cases
Speaker 2: so that I can figure out how can I help
Speaker 2: in my community with amplify the voices that maybe you're
Speaker 2: not getting nationwide attention right now. And I hope that
Speaker 2: you guys do as well, or encourage the people in
Speaker 2: your life who are trying to be allies, encourage them
Speaker 2: to do some research and help and call your local officials.
Speaker 2: I'm sure Minneapolis and Louisville phone are ringing, not the hook,
Speaker 2: but what about your town, Like what about your district attorney?
Speaker 2: How what have they done in terms of criminal justice?
Speaker 2: And who are the George Floyd's and your community that
Speaker 2: needs to be amplified as well. Wow, I'm really up
Speaker 2: onto my soapbox today.
Speaker 1: Oh it's good.
Speaker 2: We planned out the show and then I was like, hey.
Speaker 1: No, it's good.
Speaker 4: It needs to be said.
Speaker 3: I feel because I feel like the last few shows
Speaker 3: were just you know, we were emoting, and so now
Speaker 3: I feel like it's awesome to give people like so
Speaker 3: what to do with that energy? You know? And so
Speaker 3: I think that part it's important to get the emotion out,
Speaker 3: to feel the sadness, to feel the anger. But now
Speaker 3: it's like it's now about now what what can we do?
Speaker 3: And I feel like, yes, I love that that this
Speaker 3: is what this you know that this this episode is
Speaker 3: mostly about.
Speaker 4: It's like, no, this is what the actual work looks like.
Speaker 3: Work in action allyeship is an action word, right, so
Speaker 3: it's a verb.
Speaker 4: So what does that look like?
Speaker 3: How do you actively become an ally or just if
Speaker 3: you know, even if you are part of the community
Speaker 3: that has you know, regularly experienced a systemic racism. What
Speaker 3: does that look like on your end? What does the
Speaker 3: work look like? So no, I love.
Speaker 2: This, I love it too. All right, shl We take
Speaker 2: a quick break though, and come back.
Speaker 4: We shall.
Speaker 2: All right, be right back, y'all with a boost on
Speaker 2: a break or a break or a boost, we'll see
Speaker 2: questions or question that's right, we get those two. We
Speaker 2: still have questions. We'll get to some questions.
Speaker 4: All right, be right back.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, we are back back with our usual
Speaker 2: segment where we take your questions again. Hit us up
Speaker 2: Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com with your questions,
Speaker 2: or you can go to Instagram and direct message us.
Speaker 2: I will be there to accept your messages and hopefully
Speaker 2: we can get to one on the show. Just let
Speaker 2: us know if you want to be anonymous or not
Speaker 2: at the top of your message, so I don't read
Speaker 2: it and I have to go back and do it
Speaker 2: all over again because I said your name, sorry in advance.
Speaker 2: That's happened to you, all right. Our first question comes
Speaker 2: from an Instagram user. We will just call her Amy. Hey, guys,
Speaker 2: my name is Amy. My friend called me yesterday seeking
Speaker 2: support and also advice selling her furniture. So she can move,
Speaker 2: and a buyer sent her a check. The check cleared,
Speaker 2: deposited into her account, and the buyer slash scammer then
Speaker 2: asked her to send money to a moving truck company
Speaker 2: via ze so the couch could be picked up. What
Speaker 2: was that?
Speaker 1: No, And I'm just saying, oh god, I know the scam.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. That sounded like sorry, like a scam.
Speaker 2: Like oh that sounded like blur witch project. I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: I say, oh God, I know the scam. Very welcome, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm reading it very well. So you're just on the
Speaker 2: tip of ear, You're like on the edge of your seat.
Speaker 2: That's good, Okay, I have never heard of the scam.
Speaker 2: This is just like blow my mind, all right. The
Speaker 2: check clear deposited into her account. Then the buyer asked
Speaker 2: her to send money to the moving truck company via
Speaker 2: zel so the couch could be picked up. The movers
Speaker 2: never came, however, my friend reached out again and the
Speaker 2: scammer did the same thing again, sent her another check,
Speaker 2: which she deposited, and then transferred money from her cash
Speaker 2: app to another moving company. Furniture was of course, never
Speaker 2: picked up, and when my friend went to review her account.
Speaker 2: The checks that looked like they had cleared had actually
Speaker 2: been canceled. She's lost over four thousand dollars from this
Speaker 2: whole ordeal and feels really dumb slash terrible about it.
Speaker 2: She's contacting her bank and going to file whatever claim
Speaker 2: she can, but at this point the money is gone
Speaker 2: and she can't stop the transactions because Thelle recipients accepted
Speaker 2: the payment. I'm wondering if you have any other advice
Speaker 2: or step she can take. Thanks for all of you,
Speaker 2: and Tiffany do I'm a weekly podcast listener. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Amy.
Speaker 2: Okay, so, Tiffany, you've heard about this.
Speaker 3: Scams because so back in the day when I was young,
Speaker 3: I'm still young, don't play me. So yeah, So back
Speaker 3: in the day when I used to do, I used
Speaker 3: to hit up Craiglist a lot because I was looking for,
Speaker 3: like to make extra money when I was a teacher.
Speaker 3: That scam it was so prevalent that I would actually
Speaker 3: go into the bank and they had like a sign
Speaker 3: up and I almost fell for it. So what happened
Speaker 3: was I saw that at Craigslist they said they were
Speaker 3: looking for a tutor. I was like, Okay, that sounds awesome.
Speaker 3: And they sent me the money ahead of time, and
Speaker 3: they sent me let's just say, I can't remember what
Speaker 3: it was.
Speaker 4: Maybe the tutoring was going to be.
Speaker 3: Five hundred dollars, but they sent me a thousand dollars
Speaker 3: check and they were like, you know, deposit the money
Speaker 3: because they were a foreign exchange student or something like that,
Speaker 3: and if I could return five hundred to them.
Speaker 4: It was weird. I just remember it being like, why
Speaker 4: are you overpaying me?
Speaker 3: So I got the check. I remember looking at it.
Speaker 3: I remember I brought it to the bank. They were like, no,
Speaker 3: it looks like a real check. And I was like,
Speaker 3: but it.
Speaker 4: Just seemed odd, like, Hm, why are they paying me extra?
Speaker 3: And I guess they realized that I was feeling a
Speaker 3: little suspicious, so they actually emailed me. Was like, no,
Speaker 3: we could jump on a call, and you know, I
Speaker 3: can walk you through why I'm doing it this way,
Speaker 3: because you know, the person claimed that they were they
Speaker 3: lived in Thailand and their daughter was a student here
Speaker 3: in the US and they wanted, I guess, to give
Speaker 3: the money to her while she was here in the US.
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay. So anyway, John that was
Speaker 3: his name, called me and I wasn't looking at the
Speaker 3: number one. I picked up the phone and I heard hello. Honestly, Mandy,
Speaker 3: I was like, one of my uncles called me because
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 4: A Nigerian accent. Meanwhile, John from Thailand, and.
Speaker 3: I was like, Uncle Tony. He said, no, this is
Speaker 3: John from Thailand. I was like, wait, well, I actually looked.
Speaker 1: At the phone.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't understand, because I thought if totally
Speaker 3: playing a joke. I was like John from Thailand.
Speaker 4: He said, no, you don't. I gave you my check.
Speaker 4: I was like, then I was like, you know what wrong?
Speaker 3: My damn people, I was like god started. I was like,
Speaker 3: first of all, I'm Nigerian. I could spot your accent
Speaker 3: a mile away. I can also tell that you sound emo,
Speaker 3: and I can also tell.
Speaker 4: He was like, eh, you have their own.
Speaker 3: Click and I remember being like so then I knew, okay,
Speaker 3: obviously this is a scam. But then the scam became
Speaker 3: so popular because the problem is is that the bank
Speaker 3: will deposit the check and it will at first look
Speaker 3: like a real check, and it will look like so
Speaker 3: they will kind of like front you the money and
Speaker 3: you know, by the time the bank finds out the
Speaker 3: check is fake you've already withdrawn the money, so it's
Speaker 3: very frustrating. Like I said it, it's huge about I
Speaker 3: want to say, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. It was
Speaker 3: just happening so often. The bank literally used to have
Speaker 3: signs in the actual bank.
Speaker 4: So this is what you can do.
Speaker 3: So the Federal Trade Commission has been hearing about the
Speaker 3: scam over and over and over, and so this is
Speaker 3: what your friend can do. It says here on their
Speaker 3: site that if you want to learn more about what
Speaker 3: to do if you've already sent the money to a scammer,
Speaker 3: visit f for Federal t for Trade c for Commission
Speaker 3: dot gov slash gift cards, so because oftentimes they'll there'll
Speaker 3: be some sort of gift card involved, but these people
Speaker 3: were a little bit slick and having you pay them
Speaker 3: via zel to you know, to whatever fake moving company.
Speaker 3: But that's what I would go to FTC dot gov
Speaker 3: forward slash gift cards to see what you can do,
Speaker 3: or even FTC dot gov forward slash complaint. And I don't, honestly,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you're able to get your money back.
Speaker 1: Because I'm assuming Zell is.
Speaker 3: Through your bank, and it's just such so unfortunate.
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing about Zell and people. You should
Speaker 2: really read the fine print when it comes to payment apps,
Speaker 2: because when you transfer a payment through Zell, they ask
Speaker 2: you like you're on the hook if you knowingly send
Speaker 2: money to someone and it ends up being a scam
Speaker 2: or they take the money and run away with it
Speaker 2: or whatever, because you're the one you sent it to them.
Speaker 2: I believe you are entitled to getting your money back
Speaker 2: if someone actually hacks into your account from Zell and
Speaker 2: takes the money. But if you were the one, like
Speaker 2: your friend, actually sent it to them, it's much harder
Speaker 2: for her to make a case for getting it back
Speaker 2: from Zell. That being said, still I would I think
Speaker 2: it's a great idea that you gave her to reach
Speaker 2: out to her local representative. See if she can make
Speaker 2: some noise locally and get some pressure on the bank.
Speaker 2: Maybe they'll make an exception. Tweet about it that has
Speaker 2: worked time and time again. Tweet to Zell in the
Speaker 2: bank that she banks with, see if can be some
Speaker 2: justice that is also moving companies. I just feel like
Speaker 2: no one's ever had a good experience with a movie.
Speaker 2: There's the root of all evil, right, am? I right
Speaker 2: moving company.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just fun.
Speaker 3: It's so much money. I just yeah, I don't, I couldn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just so much money. The only thing,
Speaker 3: like I said, like the FTC does have they have
Speaker 3: a list of different organizations that you can reach out
Speaker 3: to depending on like who you how you get. I
Speaker 3: don't see ze on that list, but it it It
Speaker 3: doesn't hurt to google FTC this check scam and see
Speaker 3: what what recourse you have. It's definitely something that the
Speaker 3: federal government is aware of and has been trying to
Speaker 3: prevent and has tried to create some solutions for.
Speaker 4: So that's the only thing I can say.
Speaker 3: And obviously reach out to your bank obviously, but yeah,
Speaker 3: just anybody who's ever listening. If any anyone gives you
Speaker 3: a check and ask for you to send money from
Speaker 3: that check, like ninety nine percent of the time, that's
Speaker 3: a scam unless you know that person personally, So like
Speaker 3: your mom, your sister, or your uncle, you know someone
Speaker 3: that you you like, you know, but a stranger doing that,
Speaker 3: that is they're getting slicker and slicker. And how they
Speaker 3: do that scam, Like I said, back then, it was
Speaker 3: a lot of tutoring. That's how they would get you.
Speaker 3: I'm a foreign exchange student, you know, just send the
Speaker 3: money back. I was this close to doing it, but,
Speaker 3: like I said, because it just seemed weird.
Speaker 4: I was like John from Thailand. John seems like a
Speaker 4: weird name from Thailand.
Speaker 2: And so that reminded me of Ivon Orgie's hpos. If
Speaker 2: you watched her you went to her comedy show right
Speaker 2: doing that, she talks about Nigerian scammers coming for her
Speaker 2: and she's like, listen, I am not the one. Yes
Speaker 2: do better, But like, what because.
Speaker 3: You don't under say? I was like, because he was like, no,
Speaker 3: this is John. So I put on my own accent.
Speaker 3: I was like, I look at you.
Speaker 4: You'll call.
Speaker 1: He was like, I was like, yeah, you thought. I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't believe it. You didn't even try
Speaker 1: to switch up your accent, Bro, who.
Speaker 4: Are you fooling?
Speaker 3: This is not a Tiwoodese accent. Well, I was just like, wow,
Speaker 3: the audicity so.
Speaker 2: Third born child.
Speaker 3: No, But I just remember thinking to myself, Wow, people
Speaker 3: really do this. Yeah, it's just it's honestly, it's it's
Speaker 3: really a shame because that's a lot of money to
Speaker 3: be out of, and you know, it's very easy to
Speaker 3: be sucked because it seems very plausible, like oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: no biggie. And plus till you think to yourself, the
Speaker 3: check cleared at the bank, so no biggie, you know,
Speaker 3: And honestly, I I banks have been more careful about
Speaker 3: those things, Like literally, I remember there was a period
Speaker 3: when I used to go to the bank if I
Speaker 3: had a check, they would ask me, is this check
Speaker 3: from your job?
Speaker 4: Is this check from somebody that you knew?
Speaker 3: There was a period of a few months when I
Speaker 3: guess that scam was on the rise when literally going
Speaker 3: to the bank you would get those questions. So you know,
Speaker 3: just everybody be on their their p's and q's because
Speaker 3: you know, scammers don't sleep well.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for your question, Amy, your good friend.
Speaker 2: You guys continue sending us your questions. Brandabisson Podcast at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com. That's up on the ground. We're at
Speaker 2: Brandambisson podcast dot Are you said that at Brannamission podcast
Speaker 2: on the gram.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just welcome to the new listeners. Okay, oh
Speaker 1: well we'll.
Speaker 4: Talk about that in a minute.
Speaker 2: Well, let's get into a brown boots, Brown Breaked and
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: Yes, bron Boos, brom break. Are you going booze? Are
Speaker 1: you going to break? What you're gonna do? Mandy?
Speaker 3: You see you know that's my I gotta gotta.
Speaker 2: Go, gotta go, gotta go. Well, let's do our joint
Speaker 2: boost first. Yea, right, Yes, we were featured. Are we
Speaker 2: still featured? I haven't looked in a minute.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'd say yes.
Speaker 2: Spotify had featured us over the weekend in their by
Speaker 2: Black curated podcast section on the front page of.
Speaker 1: Spotify and which number one?
Speaker 2: We were number one, which is a big effing deal.
Speaker 2: And what was it? The business? It was by Black,
Speaker 2: which is highlighted and spotlighted business podcast anchored by people
Speaker 2: by black podcasters, And that was freaking amazing. I think
Speaker 2: our listenership is up like fifty percent.
Speaker 1: That's awesome.
Speaker 2: So hey, hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love that they featured the episode. They did too,
Speaker 2: because often like iTunes will throw us a bone and
Speaker 2: they'll feature us and curated lists. I think we're still
Speaker 2: in like their their business podcast, curated lists or whatever.
Speaker 2: But Spotify look like they actually went through and found
Speaker 2: a show that they thought would resonate with people, which
Speaker 2: was the episode where we talk about how Tiffany made
Speaker 2: her first MILLI.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was awesome.
Speaker 3: I was like people were messaging me from like honestly,
Speaker 3: somebody was like someone was like, hey, I work for
Speaker 3: Facebook as you know, the marketing X y Z and.
Speaker 1: I love your your Love. I was like what.
Speaker 3: She was like, I love the podcast and she was like,
Speaker 3: like the fact that I said what just now because
Speaker 3: she was like she was like, I was listening to
Speaker 3: it saying what, and I was like, what does she
Speaker 3: mean that?
Speaker 1: I realized, Oh, I say that, I did say what.
Speaker 3: I just say what a lotuse I don't even realize,
Speaker 3: but yeah, that was Honestly, that was super awesome. Someone
Speaker 3: took a screenshot and sent it to me on Facebook
Speaker 3: and I thought, oh my goodness.
Speaker 4: I was so excited.
Speaker 2: That was awesome for an ambition in the wild, We've
Speaker 2: gotten a lot of love. I mean, listen, y'all want
Speaker 2: to amplify. I feel like so many people are using
Speaker 2: this moment to amplify black voices. And if we're those
Speaker 2: voices that you want to amplify, thank you very much,
Speaker 2: because you know, I hate to think it, but people
Speaker 2: do probably scroll on past our show looking to see
Speaker 2: someone they recognize in the face of their podcaster and
Speaker 2: it's a damn shame. But we really thank you guys
Speaker 2: for the extra attention. And if you're new to the show,
Speaker 2: welcome exactly. And if you've been Rocket with the since
Speaker 2: twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, we love y'all and thank you again.
Speaker 2: All right, Wait, do you want to go next?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll do.
Speaker 1: It's like a boosty breaky like we were just talking.
Speaker 1: It's like a boost with.
Speaker 3: A break after taste, or break with a boost after taste.
Speaker 4: Either way.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to give you guys a quick update
Speaker 3: on my business coaching. So, as you know, hired a
Speaker 3: business coach just so you know, I really a little
Speaker 3: stagnant in my business and there were things that were
Speaker 3: keeping us from going to the next level. So I
Speaker 3: wanted to, you know, would it help like shifting those
Speaker 3: internal things. So I'm excited about it. So the way
Speaker 3: that coaching works is the actual coach himself. His name
Speaker 3: is Zion. He's awesome. He works with myself and my
Speaker 3: business partner. Every other week. It's like off and like
Speaker 3: one week is just he and I individually, and he
Speaker 3: works with my business partner individually, and then the next week,
Speaker 3: it's the two of us together with his team, and
Speaker 3: then his team actually meets with my team and infiltrates.
Speaker 4: And like helps all around.
Speaker 3: But the work that he does with my business partner,
Speaker 3: I it's like internal work.
Speaker 1: It's straight therapy, Barbie.
Speaker 3: And I'm learning things about myself that I'm like, I
Speaker 3: do do that that's bad. And so here's one of
Speaker 3: those I do do that that's bad. So I remember
Speaker 3: back in the day, I told you, Mandra that I
Speaker 3: kept what I call a bully friend. I always keep
Speaker 3: a bully friend, right, yes, yes, And we.
Speaker 2: Decided that I wasn't a bully friend. That I was nice,
Speaker 2: but like with a touch of bolek.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, you're not a bully friend. So I
Speaker 3: realized that it's not the bully friend, which I kind
Speaker 3: of suspected it was me that instead I participate in
Speaker 3: something called the drama triangle.
Speaker 1: Yes, do your googles.
Speaker 4: It's awesome.
Speaker 3: Well not really, because it's not a good thing, but
Speaker 3: it was so good to put a name to this
Speaker 3: pattern that I had. So the way the drama triangle
Speaker 3: works is then there's three points to the triangle. One
Speaker 3: of the points is the rescuer. Then the victim than
Speaker 3: the persecutor. So the rescuer is where I find myself
Speaker 3: a lot. I am a over giver. I am an
Speaker 3: over sacrificer. I mean I'll be like, Oh, you can
Speaker 3: have the last piece of chicken, even though you had
Speaker 3: five pieces and I'm starving.
Speaker 4: I don't mind.
Speaker 1: Oh you can have the bigger bedroom even though I'm
Speaker 1: paying more rent.
Speaker 4: I don't mind.
Speaker 1: Oh you can have all the covers even though I'm freezing.
Speaker 1: I don't want.
Speaker 3: That's me always like something along somewhere along the way,
Speaker 3: I suspected my childhood. I decided that overgiving was a
Speaker 3: good thing, like saying no, no no software Tiffany girl,
Speaker 3: give me a suffer, love it right, And so so
Speaker 3: I will be the rescuer. The rescuer is like they
Speaker 3: do all the things, they help, all the things, they sacrifice,
Speaker 3: all the things, and then at some point the rescuer
Speaker 3: feels taken advantage of and they become the victim.
Speaker 1: Then you move to the victim side of the triangle
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh my god, look how this person
Speaker 1: is treating me.
Speaker 3: They're taking so many things for me. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: woe is me? Why is this my life. So I've
Speaker 3: been there, done that, lived in it. And then the
Speaker 3: victim starts to has enough, like you literally reach your
Speaker 3: limit and it could be months, it could be days,
Speaker 3: it could be years. For me, I like to do
Speaker 3: it for some years, so years. And then one day
Speaker 3: the victim blows up and says, no, mola, I'm stirning
Speaker 3: up for myself, and then begins to like persecute the person, like,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: You did this to me, You are terrible.
Speaker 3: But honestly, the real issue is that when I'm participating
Speaker 3: as the rescuer, I fail to set boundaries. It is
Speaker 3: not someone else's I'm not too it is not.
Speaker 2: Kind of my favorite word. I just got a tangle bound.
Speaker 3: Right, And I was like, oh, so it is not
Speaker 3: someone else's job to magically know my boundaries. I was like, oh, so,
Speaker 3: it's not that I'm quote unquote being bullied. It's just
Speaker 3: that that person is unaware of my boundaries, and so
Speaker 3: as I give, they receive, they're not actually necessary. Well
Speaker 3: not to say that there are not people who don't take,
Speaker 3: of course there are, but there are some people that
Speaker 3: will continue to receive as long as you continue to give,
Speaker 3: because they're of the assumption, Hey, you're an adult when
Speaker 3: you don't want to give no more your stop. I
Speaker 3: don't have a I don't have a turn off. I
Speaker 3: will keep the water running. And I'm like, wait, so
Speaker 3: you're gonna still still receive you take her, and it's
Speaker 3: not necessarily that they're a taker. And so I wonder
Speaker 3: to myself, well, how come it's not like that with
Speaker 3: my husband? How comes not that like that with my
Speaker 3: other like my my friends? And I realized as I
Speaker 3: started to really dissect those friendships, is that Superman is
Speaker 3: a natural giver as well. He actually creates the boundary
Speaker 3: for us. So as I'm pouring into him, he will
Speaker 3: turn off the falset and say no more. So I
Speaker 3: feel like, oh, you know, look, I've set a boundary.
Speaker 3: No no, no, you didn't set a boundary. He set
Speaker 3: the boundary for you.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, so.
Speaker 3: I don't have I have not I don't set boundaries.
Speaker 3: I don't set boundaries. Then I feel taken advantage of.
Speaker 3: Then I blow up, and then I start to like
Speaker 3: persecute you, which really just means in my head, I'm
Speaker 3: just telling myself how terrible of a person you are,
Speaker 3: you know, which may or may not be true because
Speaker 3: there are some people who are like legitimate takers. So
Speaker 3: that is the drama triangle that I've been participating in
Speaker 3: since I was in second grade. And I'm like, and
Speaker 3: now that I'm forty, I'm like, I got.
Speaker 2: It, so but I can know better?
Speaker 4: You do better?
Speaker 2: What at any age?
Speaker 3: Yes, And honest, I'm actually really excited about it. I'll
Speaker 3: say this that probably maybe, like I don't know, seven
Speaker 3: or eight years ago, I learned how to see the
Speaker 3: mistakes that I make and not use them to tell
Speaker 3: myself it makes me a bad person, me knowing that
Speaker 3: I participate in the drama triangle and that there are
Speaker 3: some relationships that probably ended unfairly and where I could
Speaker 3: have done better. I actually I don't see that as Tiffany,
Speaker 3: You're bad. It's oh, Tiffany, that wasn't a good thing.
Speaker 3: But I don't see it as me being a bad person.
Speaker 3: So I'm able to receive a critique and feedback without
Speaker 3: letting it hurt me like I've I don't. I think
Speaker 3: business has taught me that because you just get so
Speaker 3: much critique and feedback that you have to learn how
Speaker 3: to take it for what it is, which is an
Speaker 3: opportunity to grow and change, but not to use it
Speaker 3: as a tool to harm yourself. So I don't use
Speaker 3: critique and feedback to harm myself. Like I could tell,
Speaker 3: Zion was waiting for me to be like, you know, like,
Speaker 3: am I going to feel bad about it?
Speaker 1: I was like no, I was excited to put a
Speaker 1: name to this.
Speaker 3: Cycle that I kind of innately knew that I was
Speaker 3: in but didn't have a name for it, and didn't
Speaker 3: know because I couldn't name it and be specific about it,
Speaker 3: I couldn't get out of the cycle. So he's teaching
Speaker 3: me how to be an observer of my patterns and
Speaker 3: then to break those patterns so I can do better.
Speaker 3: So I'm actually really excited. So if any of you
Speaker 3: are like me, if you have scise up, some of
Speaker 3: y'all hit me up on social and said, hey, Tiffany,
Speaker 3: just like you, I have a hard time with the
Speaker 3: hard conversations. I don't like confrontation, and I found what
Speaker 3: that is. You don't set boundaries, and so I encourage
Speaker 3: you to google the drama triangle, get your life. It
Speaker 3: doesn't mean that you're a bad person, It just means
Speaker 3: that it's a pattern we all have patterns that we
Speaker 3: have to break, and some patterns are great and some
Speaker 3: patterns are not so great like this, So that was
Speaker 3: just like so it was like a I wouldn't even
Speaker 3: say that was really a break. It was more like
Speaker 3: a booster. But I mean, I'm being transparent, like you know,
Speaker 3: I'm I don't I don't always show up as my
Speaker 3: best self, but I'm excited about learning how to show
Speaker 3: up better.
Speaker 2: I think that wasn't all the way boost Yes, I'm
Speaker 2: upgrade that I have an aftertaste of positivity and feeling boosted. Actually, no,
Speaker 2: I love that, and I love that you're calling it
Speaker 2: because this is this is what we talk about in therapy.
Speaker 2: I mean, is what I talk about in therapy is
Speaker 2: the patterns like I come with I have. I'm so
Speaker 2: self aware of the things that I've been doing my
Speaker 2: whole life to protect myself and to become the person
Speaker 2: I am today and be successful and how like it's
Speaker 2: sort of how my therapist has told me. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: fall in love with people, whether it's a friend or
Speaker 2: a significant other or a colleague at work, the reasons
Speaker 2: that you fall in love with them are often the
Speaker 2: reasons why you end up hating them, like and how
Speaker 2: anyway and how that can influence patterns in your life.
Speaker 2: And it's it's eye opening stuff. It's too bad that
Speaker 2: you can't use your FSA card to pay for this
Speaker 2: this business therapy.
Speaker 3: I know, but I'm pretty I'm excited because so it's
Speaker 3: like two hardcore bus but after this, I mean, i know,
Speaker 3: I've been saying I need a therapist, but it's really
Speaker 3: just like confirmed, Like Tiffany, you can get to the
Speaker 3: meat and potatoes or what's happening much faster and get
Speaker 3: the tools that you need to make life easier. Because
Speaker 3: I literally had me look at every single relationship and
Speaker 3: see how I recreate the dry I'm gonna try and
Speaker 3: go in those relationships that allow me to because that
Speaker 3: person is like, girl, I'm not setting your boundaries.
Speaker 4: You're grown, you know.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, so I'm something in me. I will
Speaker 3: just say this is that I'm just so so grateful
Speaker 3: that I had a little bit of the sense that
Speaker 3: God gave me in picking a partner that did set boundaries,
Speaker 3: or I would be a miserable somebody, you know, like
Speaker 3: because the boyfriend I had before it would have just
Speaker 3: been it.
Speaker 1: Would have been terrible.
Speaker 3: We would have it would have been victim, persecution, divorce.
Speaker 3: But because Superman is like just really good at setting
Speaker 3: those boundaries and he said he's an overgiver as well.
Speaker 3: We have an awesome relationship, but I want to you know,
Speaker 3: I want to do better because it can even be
Speaker 3: even better. Like, honestly, i was looking at like my
Speaker 3: relationship with super Girl and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, ah, it's the job a triangle. Yikes, Like let'd
Speaker 1: be like I just so much. Why didn't she like me?
Speaker 4: I'm a victim? You know what, Maybe she's just ungrateful.
Speaker 1: Now, girl, you don't say boundaries like you don't say boundaries.
Speaker 4: That's not your father, it's a child.
Speaker 3: And I know that, you know, Like we have a
Speaker 3: decent relationship, but there will be moments when I'm like,
Speaker 3: what am I doing wrong?
Speaker 4: You're in a volmill, try and go, that's what.
Speaker 3: You're doing wrong, and so like, yeah, it just I
Speaker 3: just feel so good about it. I'm just like, yes,
Speaker 3: I've just been just just that one conversation with him.
Speaker 3: I'm just like I feel like, even though it's only
Speaker 3: been like a week, I just feel like I see
Speaker 3: relationships differently and I'm more mindful of like like how
Speaker 3: I'm participating and like the role that I play in them.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So what about you?
Speaker 4: What's your Boosty?
Speaker 2: Breaky loves it. I'm so excited to hear more about
Speaker 2: this business coaching real quick. My boost is going to
Speaker 2: be I'm gonna skip. Let's talk about mortgage refinance next week.
Speaker 2: How about that? Okay, because I will have more to say,
Speaker 2: but I am refrainsing my mortgage and pray for me.
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that it goes well anyhow, Real quick boost
Speaker 2: for rename Grady hashtag renamed Grady. This is the unofficial
Speaker 2: official task force that I accidentally joined from my alma mater.
Speaker 2: He created a grassroots campaign to not only strip my
Speaker 2: journalism school that I graduated from of the name that
Speaker 2: it's the of the man that it was named for,
Speaker 2: because he was a white supremacist and extremely racist and
Speaker 2: is quoted saying terrible things about the black race and
Speaker 2: actively worked against our success as a people in the
Speaker 2: New South. As he called it, strip the name the
Speaker 2: strip to college of that name, but then also rename
Speaker 2: it with a name that we think it truly symbolizes
Speaker 2: the way forward for the college and that is to
Speaker 2: name it for Charlene Hunter Galt, who you may not
Speaker 2: she's not a household name, but in Georgia she's a
Speaker 2: huge deal because she was one of the first two
Speaker 2: black students to integrate the University of Georgia, where I
Speaker 2: went to school, and this is the first public college
Speaker 2: in the country, so it's a big effing deal. This
Speaker 2: was in the nineteen early nineteen sixties, so Charlene, excuse me,
Speaker 2: it's still with us today and we had a bit
Speaker 2: of a win. So the people who hold the power
Speaker 2: to all the names of schools across the state of
Speaker 2: Georgia's public institutions is a Board of Regions and they
Speaker 2: have now formed a task force or sorry in an
Speaker 2: advisory committee of their own to not just look at
Speaker 2: this school's name, but all of the schools across the
Speaker 2: university system of Georgia. So this is this is a
Speaker 2: small win one. They didn't acknowledge why they were doing it,
Speaker 2: other than the fact that oh, all of a sudden
Speaker 2: they have a big change that or petition you know,
Speaker 2: wanting and people are pushing for these colleges to be
Speaker 2: you know, renamed and or just taken, you know, remove
Speaker 2: the names of these white supremacists that are affiliated with them,
Speaker 2: but they formed an advisory committee, so that is one
Speaker 2: step in the right direction. But now, like I said earlier,
Speaker 2: it's about accountability. So if you have started your own campaign,
Speaker 2: or you see campaigns from your school or other institutions
Speaker 2: that have symbols of white supremacists, or they are named
Speaker 2: for white supremacists or people who genuinely worked against all
Speaker 2: the values that we hold dear to ourselves today many
Speaker 2: people do, such as inclusivity and equal access to education
Speaker 2: and success no matter your race. I would say how
Speaker 2: to hold them accountable is to not let them put
Speaker 2: out a pressure release saying that they're going to look
Speaker 2: at the problem and keep asking so what are you
Speaker 2: going to do about it? Because acknowledging, like I said earlier,
Speaker 2: saying you have a problem, you don't get a cookie
Speaker 2: for telling me that you know you have a problem.
Speaker 2: It's like, what are you going to do? So it
Speaker 2: really it gave us a small win, but it also
Speaker 2: like lit the fire under our bellies to keep pushing,
Speaker 2: keep pushing, because they're looking at potentially removing the names
Speaker 2: of all these colleges that are named for these you know,
Speaker 2: historical figures that have problematic pass but are they renaming them?
Speaker 2: And if they are, can we have a seat at
Speaker 2: the table so that we can really push to get
Speaker 2: Charlayne's name. To have a college named after a black
Speaker 2: successful woman like that is rare and I really really
Speaker 2: want to see it happen, So.
Speaker 4: That would be awesome.
Speaker 2: I love her, and she's just she's just she's amazing,
Speaker 2: She's a she's a hero to any black student who's
Speaker 2: ever walked through the University of Georgia and what she
Speaker 2: had to endure. I mean, it's anyway, love her and
Speaker 2: and we want to see this happen. And so shout
Speaker 2: out to the whole you know, grassroots team who's working together.
Speaker 2: I'm about to go work on our social media as
Speaker 2: soon as this podcast is over. But it feels good
Speaker 2: to do something small, not something small.
Speaker 4: But something bigful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something meaningful, and in another area where I feel
Speaker 2: like I have a little bit of influence.
Speaker 1: Yay, found up.
Speaker 2: Applause for me renamed Grady, join the movement. You don't
Speaker 2: have to know who Grady is or Charlayne, just retweet.
Speaker 4: No, but that's that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Tag me and if you because you know, you tag
Speaker 3: me in a in a story, I can I can
Speaker 3: repost it, you know.
Speaker 4: How it's like sharious share the story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tag me the story, and now all we share
Speaker 3: its my folks, and it's become quite a good tradition
Speaker 3: at the end of the show. You know, I've been
Speaker 3: giving you guys like idea accounts that either tickle me
Speaker 3: or like, you know, just move me. So here's one
Speaker 3: that's been tickling me. It's called Karen's Going Wild. I
Speaker 3: mean you could just k no. I think it's called
Speaker 3: Karen's Going Wild, which you can almost imagine what that is.
Speaker 3: So just draw your own conclusions if you need a
Speaker 3: little giggle, you're like, Lord have mercy. So yeah, back
Speaker 3: when someone tagged me in that, and I just I've
Speaker 3: been watching some of the videos like, well look at
Speaker 3: this foolishness. So that is my IG account for the
Speaker 3: for the week, Karen's going.
Speaker 2: Wild, Bless your heart. Someone sent me Karen's in the Wild,
Speaker 2: which is like an I think it's probably similar, but.
Speaker 4: That's probably they've been popping up.
Speaker 2: I find Karen so triggering. I can't I can't watch.
Speaker 3: It's just because with a person actually like digs that
Speaker 3: behind right back, like Karen, which you're not going to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 4: So I look for those I'm like, yes, you tell.
Speaker 2: Them, yes, absolutely, Karen's going wild. Oh god, if you
Speaker 2: see call the Karen's out. We just need to you
Speaker 2: need to have done with them, all right. I did
Speaker 2: follow what was wardy talk?
Speaker 1: Yes, and she's lasting.
Speaker 2: She's really awesome, yeah, really funny and not funny, but
Speaker 2: just real. I love how real her. She reminds me
Speaker 2: of my approach to social media, which is just come
Speaker 2: as you are, who cares, say what's on your heart?
Speaker 2: And she broke down what did she break down? Oh
Speaker 2: the white savior in film. And I sent that right
Speaker 2: to my mother and my sister because they are just
Speaker 2: blessed their hearts. They're just soaking up every piece of
Speaker 2: education they can about about white privilege. And they enjoyed
Speaker 2: it too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, Wordy Dot Talk.
Speaker 3: And then the other one before that was Tony Baker
Speaker 3: comedy just because you just need a giggle.
Speaker 4: He's hilarious.
Speaker 3: So Karen's gone wild, and I think that's cute to
Speaker 3: end the show with. You know, an ig account that
Speaker 3: brings you to some joy, some upliftment, some laughter or otherwise,
Speaker 3: or education, so Hi manage all right, be real