1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on work, on sex, parenting, 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEFRVEFM dot 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. That's all you have 5 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 1: to do, and we could be reading your letter live 6 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this 7 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. You never know, it could 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up and hold 9 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you. Here it is 10 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. All right, thank you. Few subjects. I can't 11 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: do that often. I think this letter deserves a disclaimer, 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: so if you have young kids in the car, you 13 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: might not want them to hear this. Here we go. 14 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm twenty eight years old and I'm 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: dating a really nice forty year old man. He's been 16 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: married twice, and according to him, both marriages ended because 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: his wives got lazy and tried to deprive him of sex. 18 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: He also complained about them spending too much money. Well, 19 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: since we've been together, he's been a great provider and 20 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: money has never been an issue. I wanted to get 21 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: to know him better to see if he's the reason 22 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: he had the two divorces after almost a year of dating. 23 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: I think it was the sex that drove his two 24 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: wives away. This man has a very high sex drive, 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: and I find it hard to keep up with him 26 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: in the bedroom. It's not just the high sex drive, 27 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: it's his size too. He is unbelievably well endowed, and 28 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: I've set limits on how often we have sex by 29 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 1: telling him I'm waiting for marriage. That's helped keep him 30 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: off me for a while, but now he's coming for 31 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: me all the time because he's claimed me as his 32 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: third wife. I told him we haven't even been together 33 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: a year, so he needs to slow down on the 34 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: marriage talk. I don't like telling him no, but I 35 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: can't do it as often as he'd like to. He's 36 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: too much for me, and I feel like I should 37 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: be the one that's that's got all of the stamina. 38 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: Because I'm a lot younger than he is, I'm finding 39 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: it harder and harder to keep him happy without having 40 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: a lot of sex. He knows what he's working with, 41 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: so he should respect my body enough to put a 42 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: reasonable time limit on our activities in the bedroom. If 43 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to be his third wife, I'll have to 44 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: set guidelines on how often we're intimate. Do you think 45 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: that will be a deal breaker for him? Well, I'm 46 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: not really concerned about him right at this moment. I'm 47 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: concerned more about you. And why are you more worried 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: about his feelings than what's going on with your own 49 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 1: body and how you feel. This forty year old man 50 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: is only thinking of his needs. He wants sex, and 51 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: he wants a lot of it, which is okay if 52 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: both parties agree. You got to be in agreement with 53 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: this stuff. But that's not the case here. He's selfish 54 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: with what he wants. He's thinking about the fact that 55 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: this Maybe he's not thinking about the fact I should 56 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: say that this is causing you some discomfort, some pain. 57 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: He's got you so upset that you can't keep up 58 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: with him that all you do is second guess yourself. 59 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: I like that you put him on a sex diet. 60 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: That is a good thing if he's if he's too much, 61 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,239 Speaker 1: you know right now, just imagine if you get married 62 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: to this guy. Yeah, you need some guidelines. You asked 63 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 1: about setting them. You absolutely must do what's best for 64 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: you in this instance. Okay, he's not trying to hear 65 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: what you have to say. Anyway, he may be well 66 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: in doubt, but does he really know what he's doing 67 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: with it? You know, all the time? Does he know? 68 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, sex should be fun, it should 69 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: be pleasurable, it should be enjoyable. So please continue to 70 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: go at your own pace, your own pace, okay, and 71 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: make him make the necessary adjustments in this situation. Please 72 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: don't marry him right now because you can't handle him 73 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: right now. And if you can't handle him right now, 74 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,839 Speaker 1: if you get married to and he's really gonna think 75 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: he should get it all the time, So you need 76 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: to rethink the situation. If this is not this might 77 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: not be for you. It might be just be too 78 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: much for you. Steve, Well, well, well, well, well, I 79 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: know that you've asked me in the past, Shirley, Yes, 80 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: not to make these letters about me, But you can't 81 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: help it, can't you, especially ones like these? Well, be honest, 82 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: this ain't about me at all. But I got I 83 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: got a couple of things I need to address about 84 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: this letter. That's gonna sound like I know what I'm 85 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: talking about, but I'm gonna do it in a lighthearted way, 86 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:53,280 Speaker 1: because this problem that you have, lady, that problem is 87 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: not as widespread as people make it out to be. 88 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:04,119 Speaker 1: In other words, this ain't a very common problem. All 89 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: we like to say it is, Oh we'll lie about it, 90 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: but this everybody don't have this problem, right Hill. We 91 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: will discuss the real problem in a minute. In twenty 92 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 1: eight dating is for the you old man been married 93 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: twice in according to him, both his marriage ended because 94 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: his wife and he is his key, got lazy and 95 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: tried to deprive himself. Now, the keyword in this letter 96 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: is they got laid, meaning they didn't want to they 97 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: didn't feel like it. Uh not Now maybe some other times, 98 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: Well yeah, and why is that? Because of what are 99 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: he working with here? In that wrong? You got to know, 100 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: you got to know, you know if you blessed or not. 101 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: And you got to learn how to distribute your blessings. Okay, 102 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: you can't just pass out blessings all the time. You 103 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: got to you got to distribute your blessings differently. Uh 104 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 1: we come back. I'm gonna share with you some things 105 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: that people haven't looked at in this letter. You just 106 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 1: think she can't handle the way he is. He wonts 107 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 1: sex all the time, and he's wailing down. He's just 108 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: too much. Well, you know, I will talk about hang on. 109 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up at 110 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters, subject 111 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 1: I can't do that often. All right, we'll get back 112 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, Steve, 113 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: This letter I think deserves the disclaimer. If you have 114 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 1: small children in the car writing with you as you 115 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: listen to this letter, you might not want them to 116 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: hear this one. But having said that, and having said that, 117 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: let's recap today's strubbery letter. Well, you know, the disclaimer 118 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: is real. But I'm gonna try to be h very smart. 119 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be very cagy with how handle this good 120 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: because we all know what we're talking about. This This 121 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: twenty eight year old girl's dating this for they old 122 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: woman that's and wait, dating this for the old man 123 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: that's been divorced twice. And he's been divorced because he 124 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 1: say the women were lazy and deprived him of sex, 125 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: and because he wants it too often. And you've discovered 126 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: that in dealing with him. But it's not just his 127 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: high sex drive. It's the size of what he dealing with, 128 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: this creating problems for you. Uh you know. Once again, 129 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: as Sherley and I talked about it at the beginning, 130 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: I try not to make these letters about me, and 131 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: I won't own this will right here. But somehow I 132 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: don't really have all that problem. I had that problem 133 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: in the past before couple occasions, but then and then 134 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: I've also had the problem was and where I just 135 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: wasn't quite enough. You know, I've been on both sides 136 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: of the coin. I care talking about what you're doing. Well, damn, 137 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: hold up now, you know, and get back to the letter. Hello, Hello, Hello, 138 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 1: Hello anyway, Read the letter anyway anyway, anyway. It's not 139 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: just as hydra. Sex drives inside too. He's unbelievably well 140 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: in down. I've set limits on how often we have sex. 141 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: But I tell him I'm waiting for marriage. That that 142 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: kind of brought you some time right there. I told 143 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: him we haven't been together. He claimed you as his 144 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,319 Speaker 1: third wife. You told him we ain't been together long enough, 145 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: so we need to slow down on the marriage talk. 146 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: I don't like telling him no, but I can't do 147 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: it as often as he'd liked too. And he's too 148 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 1: much for me. I feel like I should be the 149 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: one that's got all the stamina because I'm a lot 150 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: younger than here girl. You're gonna learn that ain't got 151 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. Nah, were talking about me, now, Nah, 152 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: that's why I come in that now hold old, now, 153 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: little girl, old, old little girl. Old. Now you know 154 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: I ain't ain't all of what he is you're talking about. 155 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 1: But you know, you know I have I have and 156 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: you know I have had people, you know, try to 157 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: catch their breath, you know what I'm saying a couple 158 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: of times, you know here nine, then you know right, 159 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: because I've never had no old lord, I ain't never 160 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: had nobody like grabbed their clothes and run out of 161 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: the room. You know, just because I walked out the bathroom, 162 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: anybody went like, I can't try this. You know, I 163 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 1: ain't never had that problem. But anyway, Yeah, he knows 164 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: what he's working with, so he should respect my body 165 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 1: enough to put the reasonable time liming on the activities 166 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 1: in the bad room. If I'm going to be his 167 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: third wife, I'll have to set some guylines a halfting 168 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: we're animate. Do you think this would be a deal 169 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: break up? Him. I think at the rate this is 170 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: going and he will be looking for his fourth wife. 171 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: That's what I think is gonna happen. Kelly is absolutely right. 172 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: You cannot marry this man. He is too much. He 173 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: is too much for most people. Two women in front 174 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: of you have tried this and failed. You are number 175 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: three and you are failing, and you ain't even the wife. 176 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: See y'all getting there and thanking you. Married man, You're 177 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: gonna cut him off just so you can have a husband. 178 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,959 Speaker 1: But you got to deal with all these blessings he gotten. 179 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: He's stupid. He don't know how to do it. Now, 180 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: what this man needs to do is before he starts 181 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 1: meeting other women, he's got to have some questions for women. 182 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 1: He's got to go at this and be a little 183 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: bit more conniving and a little bit motelity. So, Shirley, 184 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 1: you're you're about to date me the man in the letter, 185 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna add I'm gonna interview you. I'm gonna 186 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,199 Speaker 1: interview you all right now. He'll go. Let me ask 187 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: you any baby girl, how are you doing to day? Baby? Hi? 188 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: How are you honey? I want to ask you a 189 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: couple of questions You know, I know we talk about 190 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: being intimate, but I just have a couple of questions 191 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: for you, you know. See. Huh okay, let me ask 192 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: you something right here. When you go to a fast 193 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: food restaurant and you have to drive through whenday, do 194 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: you ever ask for super side? No? No, no, I'm no, 195 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: I'm trying to you know, watch my figure, watch my way. 196 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: You see, we're gonna have some problem right here. Let 197 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: me ask you another question right here? How do you 198 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: handle extreme pressure? I work well under pressure. But okay, 199 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: that's good. That's good. That's good. Right there. Okay, let 200 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: me ask you a question. Are you very limber? You know? 201 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 1: I used to be in my younger day. Well you 202 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: ever like in the gymnastics at Chili? Know anything like that? Yeah? 203 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: Oh okay, well that ain't good right there? When the 204 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: last time you had surgery? Surgery? Do you do well 205 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: with anesthesia and stuff like that? I've never really had 206 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: s And one last question right here? Uh, do you 207 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 1: have insurance? Yes? Oh? Well I don't think you and 208 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: I should be dating? Yeah, I don't think so. I 209 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: why you probably wondered why I asked you questions like that? Oh, 210 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: it's just a little problem I've had in the past. 211 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM on 212 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letters you Can't Handle Surgery and Open. Check 213 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast and coming on demand. Coming 214 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: up next Sports Talk with Junior Oh Lord. You're listening 215 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: to the Dame Harvey Morning Show.