WEBVTT - Ep. 197 — The Choice Between Paying Down Debt and Building Your Business 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:26.400 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown. Ambitions. 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:36.440 How you feeling, Mandra feeling fine, feeling just fine, Feeling 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.440 like everybody at work needs to stop mentioning the fact 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:40.559 that it can be any name. 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:41.160 Now. 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:44.720 Oh you're getting close, aren't you? Thought I would send 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.159 you this email? But let me know if I just 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:48.400 send it to someone else. I know it's getting close. 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:50.479 I'm like, leave me alone. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:52.920 I know it must be so much. 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.480 If the green light is on slack, I'm here until 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:58.600 further notice. When I'm not here, I won't be here. 0:00:58.960 --> 0:00:59.160 You know. 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.000 It's like, I don't know. You feel bad for all 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:03.640 the texts that you send your friends when they were 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.440 expecting at the very end, and you're like, has it 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:07.640 happened yet? Has it happened yet, because it's happening to 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:09.520 me now, And I'm like, leave me alone. It hasn't 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:13.360 happened yet. I'll let you know. But uh yeah, feeling 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.600 feeling okay. I'm excited for I told you guys last 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:20.880 week that we were getting a jump on like holiday decorating, 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:23.480 and we had all of our friends come over and 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:26.440 decorate our house. Looks ridiculous because I realized that it's 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:28.360 mid November and we have all of our lights up. 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:32.160 We have a Christmas tree. That's nice though it is nice. 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:34.480 I mean, realistically, it was the only way we were 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.040 going to be able to, like we were going to 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.680 have time the babies do December, like early December. We're 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.400 going to have time to do it if we waited, 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:44.080 and it was you know, before Thanksgiving and all that. 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.520 So but it was it was a lot of fun. 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:48.320 But now I just feel so silly. I'm like, how 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.120 do you keep a Christmas tree alive for a month 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:51.960 and a half. I'll find out. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.600 We'll see, Oh, you have one of the real Christmas trees. Yeah, 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:56.320 we're not doing all that. 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:58.920 Husbig got super sentimental about it. He's like, maybe we 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.160 should go chop down our own. I'm like, oh, let's 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.960 just take it down. He's like, well, next year we 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:06.880 can go with the baby and chop it down. I'm like, okay, 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:11.239 all right. It's being very like Norman Rockwell, oh right now. 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:14.400 Yeah, You're like I've learned, like in wifing that like 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.919 I say okay to the things that we're not doing, 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:19.120 but you say it now because you're like, you know, 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:20.760 when it gets to that time, we'll just make it 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:22.640 clear it's not happening. But it doesn't make sense to 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:24.919 fight a year in advance. I've learned that lesson. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.919 That is true. You have to pick your battles, you know. Yes, 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.600 the whole Tesla conversation I've managed to put off for 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:34.600 about five years now. Unfortunately it hasn't died though, so 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:38.000 I'm going to have to approach the battle line eventually, 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:40.359 I'm gonna have to square off. 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.720 No, There's been so many things that I've learned that, like, 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.040 because like Superman will go hard for something and I'm like, 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.920 in my mind, I'm like, absolutely not. And then I realized, like, 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:50.960 you know what, this is kind of like a temporary thing, 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.480 so we can battle it out, only to find out 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.640 later he you know, it's not even that serious. So 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:57.880 I've learned to be like, well, is the thing that 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:01.480 he's saying we should do or have or by is 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:03.799 it something that we're actually going to get right now, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:05.799 like within like a week or so or a month 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:07.720 or so. No, if it's a year from now, six 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.680 months from now, I'm like, one, it could fall off, 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:13.440 he might not be as interested, and two, you know, 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:15.520 something could have happened where it's just not something that 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.880 he's focused on. Because I used to battle over everything 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:21.120 and I would always win, and then he'd be like 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.160 mad about that, the fact that I was always winning, 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:24.840 and I'm like, girl, you didn't even have to battle. 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.760 He didn't even want it six months later, So I 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.360 really learned to be like I would say something like 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:34.400 huh okay, like not like a committing okay, but like 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:37.160 I'm thinking about it, but really now it's not happening. 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.400 But yeah, I'm learning from all my I know, some 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.680 of the men are like what the three men that listen, 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:48.040 and I'm like, whatever, because here's the thing. Sometimes it's 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:51.400 not anything like, you know, like she's wanting to paint 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.200 a wall or something like that. Sometimes it'll be things 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.560 that are doesn't make sense for our family. I'm like, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.440 we're not gonna get a third car. There's two adults here. 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:00.960 I have a car. You have a car just because 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.240 it snows in Jersey a few months out of the year. 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.560 I'm not getting a jeep. Like I don't even leave 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:06.920 the house hardly, dude. 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.120 I'm only on the second car argument right now, and 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.880 I'm like, there's just it's always something else. It's like 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.440 if you say yes to one thing, it's like, oh, okay, 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.720 well now it's this like there's a home right now, 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:18.719 and now it's about like let's build a deck in 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:21.839 the backyard, and like there's always something else. It feels 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:24.920 like what I have tried to do is give him easy, 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.400 like give me like take an l every once in 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.080 a while that maybe it hurts my pride because I 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:34.400 like to win, but he he keeps score. Maybe it 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.000 was just like the worst thing you can do right 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:40.479 in marriage. But yeay, we're breaking all the rules. He's 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.800 like you always, you know, you're whatever you say always 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.240 goes and dah da da da dah. And I'm like, yeah, 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.560 boo hoo, fine, why don't you choose where we're going 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:54.320 to dinner tonight? Even though I think I choose better nobody. 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:57.160 I'm learning, Like because my friend Rihanna has been married, 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.120 I think I think she's been with her husband. I 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.200 want to say like fifteen, no, no, maybe like twenty 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:04.880 years altogether, but married. I think like fifteen of the 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:09.800 twenty years. And I really watched how she navigates. I'm like, oh, 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.599 that's good girl. She's our girl. We ain't been married 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.839 this long happily with us. She's like, I learned to 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.280 be like, you know what, let him have that. It's 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:20.440 not even that serious, like because she's also most women 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:22.760 like to win, and she's like, but I've learned that, Like, girl, 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:24.640 it's not that serious. Because she was like, because when 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.279 you have to really battle for something, you're gonna want it. 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.159 So you know, if it's like, you know, like we 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:32.800 really don't need extra Jordan's, but go ahead, or we 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:35.159 really you know, I don't want to have you know, 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.800 pizza for dinner tonight, but what is like it's it's 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:40.040 not worth it. Like for the house, it was really 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.479 difficult because you know, I was like, how are we 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.600 going to do this? Because I cannot battle you every day. 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:47.839 So we came to a nice compromise where he could 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.560 do whatever he wanted in his man cave, and he 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.000 got even to expand his man cave and that it 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.479 wasn't just like one room. It was true, we have 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.520 an open space room in the basement and then a 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.680 room that's like you know, behind a closed doors, so 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.719 he got the whole basement. It actually looks great. Like 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:07.920 he was able to like get his like metallic swirly floor, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:10.520 which were not cheap. He was able to paint whatever 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.680 color he wanted. So the rule was I had no 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.880 say in the basement, but then I got to do 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.080 the rest of the house. So it was when I 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:18.600 tell you, that was the best rule we ever made, 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:20.279 because whenever he came up it was like, we should 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:24.520 do magenta. I'd be like, so, just referring back to 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.320 our rule, I got the rest of the house, you 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:27.920 get the basement. 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:32.520 Well, it's always annoying when they care about things that 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.360 you didn't think they would care about. I'm like, oh, did. 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:39.240 You want to say in this like it's some of 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:43.080 men like really like the fancies himself an interior designer. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:46.200 I'm like, sir, we lived in your colorful Matchla path 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.560 for five years. We're not doing that. Like literally we 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:53.159 had a green a green laundry room, and an orange kitchen, 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.800 a magenta living room. I mean it was rainbow city 0:06:57.880 --> 0:06:59.640 up in that house. And I was like, I'm not 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.159 doing that here. I want an adult space. Not that 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:04.320 space was an adult, but it was very clearly his 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.120 like bachelor pattern. He thought he was doing something with 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.200 all these colors, and I'm like, whatever, we're not doing 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.320 that here, so but now he loves it now. He's like, 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:12.880 you know, I didn't get it before, but I love 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:16.440 it now. It's very adult and understated, but but elegant. 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:19.800 So see at the end, when I win, we all win. 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:25.160 Is what I think. But it's hard to convince an 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.480 independent man of that. I'm like, oh, I got the 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:31.120 one that pushes back. It's annoying. My mom's so annoying. 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:32.600 She's always like I like the way and riy Kue 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:38.080 talks back. I'm like, shut up, whose side are you on? 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:40.360 Oh Man? 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:44.120 So Thanksgiving you are you're getting you said you're getting things, 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:47.200 geting catered right, yes, but you're hosting at your house. 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:49.680 Yeah, for the first time. I'm excited. So it'll be 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:54.200 Superman's family and my family, so we're gonna have a 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:57.760 good old traditional Thanksgiving. I'm excited because Vondam, who did 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:01.840 my birthday party and our wedding reception, is catering. Not 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:03.840 that she'll be there like passing out food, but you know, 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:06.400 we'll just go pick it up. But yeah, I'm excited 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:10.080 because but her Drell's family, they're gonna bring food on 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:12.320 my side of the family as well. But so everybody 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:14.520 will bring food, but I think like the base food, 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.720 like you know, the macaroni and cheese, collar greens, candy, 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:19.640 dam it's a turkey, Like we're gonna just have bodo 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:21.040 making because I'm like, well, I'm not gonna do is 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.960 stress about making my first Thanksgiving when I'm not even 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.680 like like someone like I can cook. I think people 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.360 think like that, ain't ever cooks Like I just made 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:32.360 dinner chili, white rice, saltate spinach. I mean, I can cook, 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.960 but I'm not your throwdown in the kitchen like you 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.000 know some women like get down, get down. I don't 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:41.040 get down, get down. I just here's your food. It 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:43.560 does taste good, but I'm not getting fancy. So I'm 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:45.920 certainly not making Thanksgiving for the first time, not that 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:48.920 I never will, but not this time around, not with 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.080 his cook and throw down family coming because they cook 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:54.000 fair enough. 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:58.599 Also, it's like there's there's pressure. Everyone's got their expectations 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:01.160 of Thanksgiving, especially when you're like blending families the way 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.280 that they've always done it, and you know, like it's 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.439 I get a little especially because my family, my husband's family, 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.000 doesn't have traditional Thanksgiving in their family like we did. 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:14.679 Like I did growing up, and it's just, yeah, it's easier. Like, honestly, 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.160 I think we're going to his cousin's place, and I 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.720 think we're just gonna like they're gonna get it catered 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:22.600 from some you know, like I don't know some like 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.720 what do you know, stew Lennards. Apparently people are obsessed 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:27.840 with stew Lennards. It's like up there with Wegmans, which 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.280 people are also weirdly obsessed with. People are so weird 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:33.480 about grocery stores. But whatever. Yeah, so they do a 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.760 whole Thanksgiving dinner and I just agreed with the hostess. 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.080 I was like, let's just get this thing catered. No 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.920 one has to cook. I'm certainly not trying to cook, 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:43.760 and then you know, the pressure's off and everyone can 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:45.600 just enjoy and then if it's not great, you can 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:47.880 blame it on whoever made it, not you know, not 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:49.600 your family exactly. 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.679 And honestly, Vonma cooks really well. I mean obviously that's 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:55.760 why she's catering, so it's gonna be delicious. I just 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.920 kind of hope that there's enough, because both my family 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.920 and his family are very much to go packers, so 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.120 so much so that in their their group chat. He 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:10.000 had to do like a gentle reminder that the goal 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.280 packing plates will not be put out until the end 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:17.040 of the evening. People will pack and I'm not gonna 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.440 lie I've done this. People will pack it to goal plate, 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:21.719 put it up and hide it and then go get 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:27.360 their regular plate. He wasn't gonna save that night. I said, 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.720 let me type it for you, because what you're gonna 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:31.760 say is not going to be very nice. And he 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:33.960 was like, you don't know some of my family members. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:35.600 And I'm like, I know because I'm one of them, 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:37.000 so I'm not here to be judging. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.480 You pack it to go plate and hide it. That's 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:40.800 so funny, yes, and. 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:45.920 Then they by regular plate like that. By the end 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.280 of the night, some of the good food's gonna be gone. 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:50.800 So I said, well, day, I guess I have to 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.800 be a good I have to be a good hostess 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.640 and not do that. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.880 That's a real scarcity mindset to bring to the dinner 0:10:55.920 --> 0:11:01.760 table at Thanksgiving. I have survived in colonial times. 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:05.000 You put my food up, you know what I mean. 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:06.920 First of all, it's terrible. You know, many times when 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.240 when I'm at someone's house and I've done those Shenanigans 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.400 and I'm looking for a hiding place for my food, 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.880 only to see other people's food hidden. I'm like, oh, 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:16.680 so we all get down like this. You're open like 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.520 a cabinet and there's three places in there already. 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:22.599 I'm like, food, that's funny. Now, that's how it is 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.920 with my dad cooks. It's like, come on, that's just 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:31.000 the way it is. It's tradition, definitely, when you go 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:34.040 to a party, like it's like the Dominican tradition. There 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:37.480 are overlaps. There are overlaps between my Dominican family and 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.520 my Atlanta Georgia family. That's all I'm going to say. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.880 And how they conduct themselves at family gatherings and the 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.079 aluminum foil has to come out. And if people don't 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:47.760 get to take a plate home, then did they really 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.520 have a good time? Yes, you get judged. 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.040 I'm a little nervous about that. I'm like, I don't 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:56.200 know because I told Vonna to cook for forty, but 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.280 I feel like we're legitimately going to have forty people. 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:01.080 I'm like, is that going to be enough? Because you know, 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.760 I feel like it's not a good Thanksgiving if you 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:07.000 didn't get a good size to go, plate to go. 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:10.280 You know, so let's you're not like dead from being 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.920 so full, like yeah, way of hungry. 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.080 Well hungry, and you have to go with to go play, 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.880 like it's like it's mandatory. But I think that with 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:19.719 like his side of the family and my side of 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.200 the family also bringing additional food, we should be okay. 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.599 But it's definitely something that I'm nervous about, Like is 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.640 it gonna be a nuh well. 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:29.319 What else has gone besides the holidays? You're going to 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:30.600 tape the real next week? 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:35.640 I sure am so today, Like you're no travel rule, 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:39.960 I know, but it's my last it's the only travel 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:42.800 that I have scheduled for the end of the year. 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.120 But I honestly I have not gone anywhere. I think. 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:46.920 I feel like the last place I went was maybe 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.160 a month or so ago, I went to DC. So 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.880 I honestly have not traveled much this year at all. 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.080 And if I have travel, it's been super local, like Philly, DC, 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:58.760 you know, New York, Like I was in New York 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:03.440 today taping some called an s m C And you know, 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.040 one day we should talk on the podcast about like 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.160 ways that folks can make money. I know, influencer is 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.160 like a dirty word, but if done properly, you can 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.760 be an influencer that makes a decent amount of money 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.760 and maintain your integrity because I think there are ways 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.040 that you can make money online that people are not 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:24.920 hip to. And Lynette cop Fonnie Cock's one of our faiths. 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:27.320 She's one of my mentors. She hit me to the game. 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.319 So I would love to hip our audience to the 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:32.520 game of ways that I make money that you probably 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.560 don't even realize that you know that don't require the 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.160 super heavy lift. So I did one of those ways 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:41.800 today called the SMT a satellite media tour. You make 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.040 a lot of money in a short period of time 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:49.240 and then you go back to your regularly scheduled shenanigains. 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.520 But yeah, I go back to the real and then honestly, 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:57.360 these days not gonna lie. I just look the opportunities 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.920 that there are coming. I'm just like not as interested 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:03.440 as I used to be. I'm just tired. So maybe 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.160 it could be the IVF medicine, because they have a 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.559 new medicine and I think it's like wearing me out. 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:09.560 I'm tired. I feel like I'm sleeping all the time. 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:12.080 Well, listen to your body. 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:14.520 Mm hm, that's what That's what someone told me today. 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:15.480 I'm like, I'm sired. 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:19.479 I sound like my mom. I'm like, fine, yeah. 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.200 My body. You what's what's new with you? 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.760 Oh? That's all just prepping, just propping, getting out, trying 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.800 to stay active, trying to tend like nothing at all 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.080 is happening. Even though I'm walking around. I feel like 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.320 I have like a ticking time bombs strapped to my 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.240 chest and like at any moment it's going to go off. 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:12.640 I just don't know when. That's pretty much how it feels. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.520 You know. That's crazy. When you really think about it, 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:19.320 You're like, yeah, any day, that's crazy. Even though you're like, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.560 I'm prepared, I've done this, I've done that, but I 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:23.640 never thought about like what that must feel like. You're like, 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.480 so we're here now, okay. 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.160 It's very I mean, you have to go to the 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.240 doctor a lot and they like, you know, you get 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.240 examined a lot, which is very uncomfortable, and they yeah, 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.080 I guess, yeah, I have prepared a lot, but there's 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.040 still the sense you haven't done enough and that you're 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.440 not ready and I don't know how to I think 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.920 that's just normal. Like I'm just you know, anyone in 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:49.160 this position, you just feel a little bit anxious and 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.400 and then you I will say, my friends and family 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.480 have done a really good job maintaining their own like 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.680 managing their own anxiousness and their excitement, and not like 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.920 putting that all on me, because that would just you know, 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.400 stress me out. I got my own feelings to think about. 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.760 But uh, yeah, no, I'm just I'm just hanging in there. 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:07.800 It's nice that the holidays are coming up. I'm looking 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:11.920 forward to it, you know. But we'll see you doing 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.680 a couple of weeks, man, Dick, Dick. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.640 I will say this, don't do your baby dirty for Christmas, 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.120 right because my sister, poor, my sister Carol, her birthday 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.880 is the twenty first of December, so when she was younger, 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.800 they ustill rolled it all together like your birthday Christmas present. 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.320 She's like, yeah, no, that's not how that works. 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.480 So I don't think I can get away with that. 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.760 He's too early enough that there's enough distance. If you've 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.360 got more than two weeks, you can't do that. 0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:40.120 No, but her birthday is just a few days before, 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.480 and I remember that happening and looking at her like, ooh, 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:43.840 they did your dirty girl. 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:45.760 Well. 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.000 And actually that's why her name is Carol. Are my 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:49.680 parents corny Christmas Carol? 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.320 That's cute. Actually, don't even get me started on the 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.280 name I the Lord have Mercy. We don't have a 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:57.160 name picked out yet. 0:16:57.720 --> 0:16:58.120 Oof. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.840 All right, change is subject. Shall we do some questions? 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:03.680 Yeah? We should do some question Someone actually hit me 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.680 in the They were like, love the podcast, have a question, 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:08.199 but of course I can't find it. But if I 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.080 find it, I would love to read her question because 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:13.040 I know she would be geek if I read it. 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:15.400 And I love when people hit me on on Facebook 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.960 or Twitter or Instagram and we read their question and 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:19.080 they're like, you read my question. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:23.000 So that's always we do read them. We don't always 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:24.840 send you messages to let you know, because you know, 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.359 a lot happens, but we do do read them. Let's 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.439 take one from the gram. This one comes from a 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:35.640 listener who wants to remain anonymous, but has a bit 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.960 of a predicament about helping her mother out. Good afternoon. 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.199 She says, I'm in a bit of a panic. My 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:43.920 mother and I are immigrants. She came here to allow 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.360 me to go to school, thus she gave up all 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:50.680 her positions back home. I'm about to graduate next August. However, 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.560 my mother was recently fired from her job because they 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.200 said she wasn't learning at the pace they wanted. She's 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.199 fifty seven years old and terrified she can't get a 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:01.800 job because of her age. She put most of her 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:05.240 money into my education, and she barely has any savings 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:07.840 Right now. With my job, I'm working from four to 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:11.280 eleven PM because I'm not fully certified. My pay is 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.960 barely minimum wage. I've got one more semester to graduate, 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:16.960 but I'm wondering if i should just drop out and 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.359 help her out. She's an accountant with at least ten 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:22.320 years of experience. We're both a little terrified and not 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:28.360 sure what to do next. Ah, my heart breaks for them. 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.679 That's really difficult. I mean, take out the fact that 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:34.840 her mother's not from this country originally, although she has 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:38.600 ten years of experience in the States. Working to be 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:42.800 fired or let go in your late fifties, it is 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.600 a vulnerable place to be, no matter how much we 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:50.159 want to think that there are tons of opportunities. Agism 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.560 in the workplace. Is it real? It's so so real. 0:18:55.080 --> 0:19:00.840 Whether it's intentional or unintentional. People do discriminate against people 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:06.320 at that age. So it's a it's tricky, but it's 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:10.080 very tricky. But I feel like sacrificing your own career 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:14.240 prospects may not be the And I'm also wondering if 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:15.600 she were to drop out of school, what could she 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:18.280 do to help, like get you know, for herself, like 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:20.520 drop out and get a job maybe is higher paying, 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:22.240 but then she puts her own career in hold. And 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:24.240 I can't imagine her mom would want her to do that. 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:27.600 She wouldn't because she didn't sacrifice for that quite honestly. 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:33.000 Yeah, I'm wondering. I mean, if they're if you're in 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.960 the US, I mean, with ten years of experience, she 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:38.600 should qualify for unemployment benefits, right. I know that it's 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.959 not I know it's not permanent. I know it's not 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:44.959 obviously doesn't come with you know, health benefits that are 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.040