WEBVTT - Exes to Text with Laura Prepon

0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:07.960
<v Speaker 1>Find Out and podcast. So how would you like to

0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:10.680
<v Speaker 1>welcome people today, Mike, I'm nervous now. I don't know

0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:15.600
<v Speaker 1>what to say. I'm hey, every hey everyone, it's not Monday,

0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:19.160
<v Speaker 1>it's not It is for you, but it's not for us.

0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't even know what to do Tuesday. Does it

0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:27.840
<v Speaker 1>even matter? Michael just got back from his two week

0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:32.800
<v Speaker 1>bi weekly grocery store adventure. How is it? It was

0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:40.279
<v Speaker 1>fortunately quiet good So I went to Whole Foods and

0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.080
<v Speaker 1>Public because we get different things at different stores, and

0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:48.240
<v Speaker 1>it was remarkably quieter than it had been in the past.

0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:53.600
<v Speaker 1>Everyone people I saw had masks? Was that so weird?

0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:55.120
<v Speaker 1>To see everyone have masks? Because I have not been

0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.720
<v Speaker 1>out of the house. I'm losing my mind. I have

0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.279
<v Speaker 1>not been out of the house for a little over

0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.200
<v Speaker 1>a month, so I haven't seen like a store or

0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:05.920
<v Speaker 1>driven my car. I don't even know if I'm gonna

0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.160
<v Speaker 1>be able to drive my car. I'm gonna be like,

0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:13.640
<v Speaker 1>how do I stop this thing? But like, I can't imagine.

0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.399
<v Speaker 1>Like I was zooming with some of my girlfriends last

0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.679
<v Speaker 1>night and we were just talking about, like because they

0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:19.440
<v Speaker 1>have gone to the store, and I was like, man,

0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:24.600
<v Speaker 1>what a weird reality that now we see because I'm

0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:28.720
<v Speaker 1>gonna be real honest. Usually when I saw people with

0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.680
<v Speaker 1>masks on, like at the airport, I'm like, you know,

0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:36.000
<v Speaker 1>it's like all right, easy, I'm like, okay, calm down.

0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.319
<v Speaker 1>But now it's like I was like, Michael, do not

0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:41.120
<v Speaker 1>leave without a mask. I feel like we live in

0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:45.959
<v Speaker 1>Asia now, and I mean that's no, it's not that,

0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:49.120
<v Speaker 1>it's just the culture. You see that often in their culture,

0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:53.680
<v Speaker 1>because yeah, I think about it. They they're show overpopulated.

0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:57.560
<v Speaker 1>Is that why? I think so? I think it'smar than

0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.440
<v Speaker 1>I think it's a part of their culture. And I

0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:05.360
<v Speaker 1>also think it's because they're so densely compacted in population

0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:12.280
<v Speaker 1>where it's things probably spread easier there, possibly when you're

0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:13.720
<v Speaker 1>on top of each other as much as they are,

0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.440
<v Speaker 1>or maybe they're just a lot smarter and they're like

0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:19.000
<v Speaker 1>saw this coming before y'all did, right, But I'm saying

0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:21.880
<v Speaker 1>even before before, no, no, no, I mean like before yeah,

0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Like it's like they they're more aware of I don't know.

0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.359
<v Speaker 1>But now it's like I was, I was like, you

0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:31.960
<v Speaker 1>have to wear either a scarf or we don't have

0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:35.360
<v Speaker 1>a mask that you were bandana, but that must have

0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:37.640
<v Speaker 1>been like, like, what was it? Was? It just weird

0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:40.760
<v Speaker 1>to see everyone wearing masks, like where the checkout people

0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:44.400
<v Speaker 1>wearing them too? Oh my god, it's so weird. And

0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:47.520
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stores from home Depot the whole foods too.

0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:50.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't think public said you know that a lot

0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:53.960
<v Speaker 1>of them have like temporary glass shields up like between

0:02:55.320 --> 0:03:00.240
<v Speaker 1>the cashier and the customer. Really see, I feel I'm

0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:02.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of glad. I know that we said that I

0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>was going to go grocery shopping because you have bad asthma.

0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:10.200
<v Speaker 1>But I think I'd have anxiety tack just seeing all that, Like,

0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.280
<v Speaker 1>I think it would feed my anxiety more, and then

0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.880
<v Speaker 1>I would totally freak out. And then I for sure

0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:16.959
<v Speaker 1>couldn't drive my car because I'd be like good, and

0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.560
<v Speaker 1>then you'd forget half the things I needed you to get. Yeah,

0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I would just think, I just need to get out

0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.000
<v Speaker 1>of here. I can't breathe. I think this is the

0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:29.000
<v Speaker 1>lesser two evils that it gives us, uh, less anxiety

0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:30.880
<v Speaker 1>if I go and you stay, because if it's the

0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:32.960
<v Speaker 1>other way around, I'd have anxiety. If you're not getting

0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:36.720
<v Speaker 1>the right things, you'd have anxiety being there. Yeah, and

0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I would just leave real fast and forget everything. But

0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.480
<v Speaker 1>because I think just seeing that it's just like the

0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.640
<v Speaker 1>reality of just like oh man, that this is this

0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:48.520
<v Speaker 1>is not good. Yeah, it's it's just gonna be interesting.

0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.640
<v Speaker 1>What a lot of people have been talking about the

0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.160
<v Speaker 1>new norm, you know, like what's the new norm going

0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:54.960
<v Speaker 1>to be? How long is this going to be a thing.

0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:56.720
<v Speaker 1>How long are these dividers going to be up at

0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:58.920
<v Speaker 1>the grocery stores or home depot? How long are people

0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:01.280
<v Speaker 1>gonna be wearing masks? I mean, honestly, I feel like

0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:03.040
<v Speaker 1>we should take these precautions. I mean, not to the

0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.640
<v Speaker 1>economy shutdown, but you know, for flu season, like let's

0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.240
<v Speaker 1>not shake hands, even though that's hard for me to do,

0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.880
<v Speaker 1>but like, you know, just to be more cautious during

0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:14.720
<v Speaker 1>those times, like, hey, it's flu season, because a lot

0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.599
<v Speaker 1>of like sixteen thousand people a year died from the flu,

0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.760
<v Speaker 1>so it's like, hey, and obviously COVID's worse than that

0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.240
<v Speaker 1>and it's more death rate. But I feel like we

0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:26.159
<v Speaker 1>should just put more things in place too, not easily

0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:31.240
<v Speaker 1>spread things. But I have a headache from cleaning all

0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:33.719
<v Speaker 1>the groceries. I don't know if it works. I don't

0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:36.359
<v Speaker 1>know if it's I'm wasting my time. But all I

0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:38.880
<v Speaker 1>know is this time around, I washed everything with the

0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:43.400
<v Speaker 1>clorox with the clorox, and now I have a headache

0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:46.640
<v Speaker 1>so bad. But I do I will say, just because

0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm a mom. When we get any of the groceries

0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:51.320
<v Speaker 1>out the next few days, like we just need to

0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.240
<v Speaker 1>make sure we really wash our hands because I might not.

0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.200
<v Speaker 1>I might have missed a spot and it lives on

0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:57.920
<v Speaker 1>there for a minute, so like for a few days.

0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.880
<v Speaker 1>So it's just like the next few days, it's really

0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like be mindful, absolutely sorry. Just to let you guys

0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.760
<v Speaker 1>in on a little like, you know, husband wife chat.

0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.080
<v Speaker 1>We had a little passiveness while I was doing it.

0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:16.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, but I'm really excited because we

0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.599
<v Speaker 1>have a really awesome guest on today, Laura Prepon. Um.

0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.920
<v Speaker 1>She's an actress, she's a mother, she's now an author.

0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:27.080
<v Speaker 1>She was on the Netflix series Orange is the New Black. Um,

0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:32.039
<v Speaker 1>and obviously she made her television debut on that seventy show. Um,

0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:34.560
<v Speaker 1>did you watch that seventy show? I never did. I

0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.080
<v Speaker 1>didn't either, but I heard it was funny. I've heard

0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:40.640
<v Speaker 1>great things. Yeah, I never personally did, but I'm excited

0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:43.440
<v Speaker 1>to meet her um through Skype, and I'm excited to

0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.960
<v Speaker 1>hear about her book and her journey as a mom.

0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:49.880
<v Speaker 1>So um super excited. You know, she's married to Ben Foster.

0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:54.520
<v Speaker 1>A little fun trivia fact. I think he's such a

0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.800
<v Speaker 1>great actor. He's fantastic. Oh my god, what was the

0:05:56.880 --> 0:06:01.600
<v Speaker 1>movie with him and Chris Pine that we are obsessed with? Oh? Um,

0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:06.080
<v Speaker 1>Color high Water. That's one of my favorite movies. That

0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:12.839
<v Speaker 1>is a top top movie, like probably top seven, it's

0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.719
<v Speaker 1>in the top ten for sure. It's like, if you

0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.440
<v Speaker 1>guys haven't seen that movie, it's incredible. Did you watch

0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Orange Is the New Black? I started it, I remember

0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:26.680
<v Speaker 1>years ago, like kind of shortly after it came out. Um,

0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.360
<v Speaker 1>but I think it's one of those times where you know,

0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.240
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to watch like four different shows at

0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.520
<v Speaker 1>one time and it just got lost in translation. I

0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.600
<v Speaker 1>watched the first few seasons. Yeah, do you like it? Yeah?

0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:38.640
<v Speaker 1>It was really good. I liked it a lot for

0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.560
<v Speaker 1>something about women in jail, you know me, I have

0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:45.120
<v Speaker 1>like a weird thing with Gana, like badass women I do.

0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.520
<v Speaker 1>I do like them a lot. So right before the

0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:54.360
<v Speaker 1>whole quarantine thing happened, Um, I got to meet Abby

0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.320
<v Speaker 1>wan Back and Glenn and Doyle, and it was like

0:06:56.440 --> 0:07:00.120
<v Speaker 1>dreams they do come true. She's like, fantasy, are you

0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:03.760
<v Speaker 1>all in one room. I was like, I couldn't even

0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:07.600
<v Speaker 1>talk to Abby. I was just like stuff founded, Yeah, smitten,

0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.000
<v Speaker 1>like a little kitten. She could have just put me

0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:13.760
<v Speaker 1>in her pocket, and I've been fine with it. I'll

0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:17.360
<v Speaker 1>be your little girl, toy. Oh. I know. I'm really

0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.200
<v Speaker 1>excited to talk to Laura though, because she seems like

0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:22.480
<v Speaker 1>a badass. Um, let's take a break and then let's

0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:35.360
<v Speaker 1>get her on. Y Hi, Laura, Laura, can you guys

0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.800
<v Speaker 1>hear me? Okay, yes, we can hear you. Amazing? You

0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:43.320
<v Speaker 1>look beautiful. I'm very jealous. You've got makeup on. You

0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:48.920
<v Speaker 1>look amazing, fantastic. Um, I love you. I just I

0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:51.600
<v Speaker 1>think you're funny. I think you're a badass. And you

0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:54.360
<v Speaker 1>know now, like how you just had a baby in February,

0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:59.240
<v Speaker 1>didn't you. Yeah, at the end of February. How are

0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.960
<v Speaker 1>you doing right now? And you York, I'm doing okay. Um.

0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.320
<v Speaker 1>You know, because we have a newborn, we had planned

0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:10.760
<v Speaker 1>to be isolating and um having this time be to

0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:12.840
<v Speaker 1>our family just so we can bond with our baby

0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.360
<v Speaker 1>and our toddler. Um. So we had planned to be

0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.760
<v Speaker 1>isolating now anyway before my book tour, which is now

0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:22.880
<v Speaker 1>a virtual book tour started, so but we were definitely

0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:27.520
<v Speaker 1>planning on isolating for very different reasons. But we're doing okay,

0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, We're we try to stay informed, of course,

0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.920
<v Speaker 1>and not let it be too scary, you know, because

0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:36.679
<v Speaker 1>we because kids pick up on that stuff, you know.

0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.960
<v Speaker 1>So we're really trying to stay informed and find levity

0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.280
<v Speaker 1>and laugh when we can, because you just have to

0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.800
<v Speaker 1>find levity or it's just all too devastating. So we

0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.320
<v Speaker 1>try to just laugh when we can, spend a lot

0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.520
<v Speaker 1>of time with our kids, and yeah, we're just doing

0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.600
<v Speaker 1>what kim, just like everybody else. Is the newborn a boy, ye,

0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.160
<v Speaker 1>and then the older one is uh yeah two and

0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:03.120
<v Speaker 1>a half and she all and she's she's she was

0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:06.720
<v Speaker 1>born in a boy two thousands, seventy. I have milk

0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:11.520
<v Speaker 1>brain right now because I'm breastfeeding seventeen maybe, um, but yeah,

0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:15.360
<v Speaker 1>it's it's incredible. It's incredible having to it's a lot,

0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:18.959
<v Speaker 1>especially with the self isolation everything. But you know what

0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. Two was a really rough transition for us

0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:23.600
<v Speaker 1>because we have a four year old girl and then

0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:29.080
<v Speaker 1>a sixteen month old little boy. So but like it's

0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.720
<v Speaker 1>when we hit two, it's like, I'm really glad we

0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:33.520
<v Speaker 1>had a lot of therapy because I don't know if

0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.360
<v Speaker 1>we would have liked it made it through because it's

0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.760
<v Speaker 1>hard because like you don't have time at all. It's

0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:40.600
<v Speaker 1>just like I got one, you got one, and it's

0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:45.080
<v Speaker 1>like then yeah, it's it's it's definitely a real tough transition.

0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:48.240
<v Speaker 1>Did you did you find it harder? Well, you know,

0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:52.000
<v Speaker 1>we're only like like seven weeks in, so it's not

0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:57.080
<v Speaker 1>it's um, it's it's been really a thank goodness. Here's

0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.679
<v Speaker 1>what I will say, Thank goodness. Our toddler is sleep

0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:04.760
<v Speaker 1>train because we really were We were really strict with

0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:06.600
<v Speaker 1>the sleep training at a certain point, at a certain

0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:10.079
<v Speaker 1>point where like we have got to yeah, we started

0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:13.160
<v Speaker 1>three months for every kid saying okay, so we started

0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.560
<v Speaker 1>with our daughter. We started too late. We started to

0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:18.680
<v Speaker 1>wait too late. But we got to a point where

0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.520
<v Speaker 1>we were just like we have to handle this is this,

0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:24.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, once they're sleep training. For me, For us,

0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.000
<v Speaker 1>it was a game change, game changer because then they

0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:30.960
<v Speaker 1>go down and then number one, I feel like it's

0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.200
<v Speaker 1>much better for her. And this is my own personal experience. Look,

0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.520
<v Speaker 1>I would never tell anybody how to parent ever, know,

0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:38.600
<v Speaker 1>but like what you were saying though, it is better

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.720
<v Speaker 1>for them too, though, Like and I'm like such an

0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.319
<v Speaker 1>advocate even, Like I have girlfriends that their kids don't

0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.000
<v Speaker 1>go to bed until like nine ten o'clock, and I'm like,

0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:47.720
<v Speaker 1>that's great, it works for you, but for us, Like

0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.640
<v Speaker 1>I know my kid, like she's a she's a better

0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.280
<v Speaker 1>toddler the next day when she gets sleep, like when

0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.400
<v Speaker 1>she does the napp and she has the routine. So

0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:58.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm totally totally like on same page, like the sleep training,

0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:01.080
<v Speaker 1>and for us it's at her too because we know

0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.880
<v Speaker 1>she goes down in her bedtime and then you know,

0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.800
<v Speaker 1>my husband and I have time to you know, download

0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.320
<v Speaker 1>the day and like hang out together and have dinner together,

0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:13.040
<v Speaker 1>and like, you know, when it's not the state of

0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 1>the world is happening. Now, if we put our kids

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:17.839
<v Speaker 1>down and then we get a babysitter, we can maybe

0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:19.440
<v Speaker 1>go to dinner, you know what I mean. Like, it's

0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.720
<v Speaker 1>just everything is such a game changer when the kids

0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.480
<v Speaker 1>are sleep trained. But again, everyone has a different way

0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:29.240
<v Speaker 1>the parent awesome, but for us it was a game changer.

0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.839
<v Speaker 1>So but now with the newborn, of course that's all

0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.600
<v Speaker 1>out the window. But I gotta say the fact that

0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:38.000
<v Speaker 1>we know our daughter goes to sleep at a certain time, yeah, um,

0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.679
<v Speaker 1>helps so that we're just focused on the newborn, you

0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:42.240
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean, you see that light at the

0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.280
<v Speaker 1>end the end of the tunnel, knowing that you're newborn

0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 1>eventually is gonna get to that point where she is too.

0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.600
<v Speaker 1>And then that's kind of where we're at where it's like, Okay,

0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 1>we know at seven o'clock the kids are down, we're

0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:59.040
<v Speaker 1>high five and exactly popping wine or having a drink

0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:04.479
<v Speaker 1>and it's time you you guys started both at three months. Yeah,

0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:07.480
<v Speaker 1>I was so strict, like I was just you know,

0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 1>once the yeah, it was it was about yeah, I

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.679
<v Speaker 1>would say it was eight. Yeah. Well there's that book too,

0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:20.679
<v Speaker 1>it's twelve twelve weeks. Yeah. I mean they they're kind

0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:22.880
<v Speaker 1>of similar. But we went by baby Wise and then

0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:27.680
<v Speaker 1>it was just eat feed, was it eat feed, play sleep? Um?

0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 1>But I mean it worked like a dream, and it

0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.679
<v Speaker 1>worked for Jay's two. I will say though, on our

0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 1>second Jace doesn't need as much sleep as Jolie did,

0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.199
<v Speaker 1>so we kind of had to. Unfortunately, we dropped a

0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 1>nap sooner. Um. But I mean, having a little boy

0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:45.920
<v Speaker 1>is just like, isn't it the best? I'm so, I'm

0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.720
<v Speaker 1>so glad that our first was a girl. I really am,

0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.440
<v Speaker 1>because I always thought I wasn't one of those people

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 1>who like wed dream about the day I got married

0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.440
<v Speaker 1>or the day I had that. This was never me,

0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Like I started working at such a young age. I

0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:02.080
<v Speaker 1>was always so focused on my career and I knew

0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 1>that I wanted to wait until I met my partner,

0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:06.760
<v Speaker 1>my you know, I wanted to wait until I was

0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.319
<v Speaker 1>with my husband, the one I was supposed to be with,

0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:11.480
<v Speaker 1>and my husband and I didn't get together, so I

0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:16.640
<v Speaker 1>was thirty six, so we you know, we both I mean,

0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:18.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to speak for him, but I focused

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 1>on my career and then finally he came into my life.

0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.079
<v Speaker 1>Even though we've known each other since we were eighteen,

0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, we took this, you know, the bumpy road.

0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:32.959
<v Speaker 1>We always say that we're like we earned each other, um,

0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:37.079
<v Speaker 1>but it's you know the fact that I started late

0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.000
<v Speaker 1>just was it was a very different experience for me.

0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:41.960
<v Speaker 1>But the fact that we had a girl first. I

0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.679
<v Speaker 1>thought was very very cool, Like I never thought about

0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I never like planned my wedding or thought about you know,

0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.000
<v Speaker 1>jumps about the kids. And then finally when it was right,

0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 1>it was just right. Um. But if I ever did

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.280
<v Speaker 1>have the thought, I always thought I was gonna have

0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 1>a boy first, which was weird. Well, and I kind

0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.080
<v Speaker 1>of wanted a boy first because I grew up with

0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.080
<v Speaker 1>an older brother and so so I kind of like, yeah,

0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.719
<v Speaker 1>I want like the older brother. But I will tell

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:06.679
<v Speaker 1>you what, you know, I'm so glad I had a

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.240
<v Speaker 1>daughter first two because she's so good with the baby

0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.480
<v Speaker 1>and she's just she's really like I think she helped

0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.960
<v Speaker 1>ease my way into motherhood a little bit because obviously

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:18.080
<v Speaker 1>we don't know what we're doing. Um, but there's something

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 1>about a little girl just having I don't know, it

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.960
<v Speaker 1>just it really Yeah. But now I mean the little boy,

0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 1>it's just it's such a different crazy Yeah, I totally got.

0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.200
<v Speaker 1>But in your book, so, um, it's you and I

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.880
<v Speaker 1>as mothers, and it was I was. When I was

0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 1>reading the Breakdown, you said, you're like you were blindsided

0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 1>when you became a mother. What what blindsided you? What

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 1>was the thing that was just like that, you weren't

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 1>expecting any of it. I like any of it. I

0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, I've always been and I prided myself on this,

0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 1>like I've always felt like the rock I've always been.

0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:58.240
<v Speaker 1>My friends called me like the Rock of Gibraltar, like

0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 1>they would always come to me to get the is done.

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:04.640
<v Speaker 1>I think that's why I tend to thrive in different

0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.800
<v Speaker 1>kinds of roles, like director, because as a director, I'm

0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:12.440
<v Speaker 1>really good with large amounts of responsibility and pressure and

0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 1>stress like yeah, like I'm I'm very good at putting

0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.920
<v Speaker 1>like order into a situation like that, which is why

0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:25.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel like direct and so comfortable for me. Um.

0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.960
<v Speaker 1>But when I became a mother, it was like I

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:32.120
<v Speaker 1>was a complete but I could not take care of

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 1>myself or my family everything. And it wasn't postparted to

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:39.400
<v Speaker 1>anxiety or sorry, depression. It wasn't depression. It was an

0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:44.320
<v Speaker 1>anxiety that I've never experienced before. And the anxiety came

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:50.760
<v Speaker 1>from protecting this baby that I I didn't understand what

0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>was going on. Number one, I didn't understand the hormones.

0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.280
<v Speaker 1>The hormones just took over and I had no clue

0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 1>what the hell to do UM. I could not take

0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:00.400
<v Speaker 1>care of myself, I couldn't take care of my family.

0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:03.760
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't nourishing any of us properly like I was

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.360
<v Speaker 1>totally and then I was so stressed out and it

0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.600
<v Speaker 1>would affect my my milk. It was like a whole thing,

0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.520
<v Speaker 1>and I had really really bad post part of anxiety.

0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.520
<v Speaker 1>And that's probably one of the biggest things that threw me.

0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.640
<v Speaker 1>Being someone who's usually the rock that people come to,

0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.600
<v Speaker 1>I felt like I couldn't take care of myself and

0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 1>my family and it's really really hard for me. And

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 1>then that's when I decided that I needed to write

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:31.520
<v Speaker 1>this book because I feel like there's all these things

0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.280
<v Speaker 1>that as mothers we we don't talk about that are

0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.800
<v Speaker 1>still kind of like shrouded in darkness. And I don't

0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:43.080
<v Speaker 1>in secrecy and I'm not sure why, because it's okay

0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.280
<v Speaker 1>that we don't have everything figured out right now, you know,

0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I also as a working mom. Being a stay at

0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.800
<v Speaker 1>home mom is just as hard UM. But for me

0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.680
<v Speaker 1>as a working mom, I felt like I would wear

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:58.760
<v Speaker 1>this like maternal badge of honor, like I had this

0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:00.800
<v Speaker 1>macho approach to much or any like I was going

0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.160
<v Speaker 1>to go back to work, and nobody would know that

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm suffering. Nobody would know that I'm like I can

0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.640
<v Speaker 1>power through on no sleep and you know the fact

0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.800
<v Speaker 1>that I'm a complete basket case, and like, nobody's gonna know.

0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>I had this weird thing that I had to prove something,

0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.119
<v Speaker 1>and I wasn't sure why. I'm like, why why do

0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.760
<v Speaker 1>I have this thing that I feel like I need

0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:22.040
<v Speaker 1>to prove, like UM. And I realized that I was

0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:25.320
<v Speaker 1>suffering from all these things like the stress, the loss

0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:30.120
<v Speaker 1>of control, mom guilt, like UM, self care. I felt

0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 1>like I didn't deserve self care, like all these things.

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.919
<v Speaker 1>I realized that mothers of all ages were all dealing

0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.919
<v Speaker 1>with UM. And that's why I interviewed my mom squad

0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.280
<v Speaker 1>in the book, which is Mothers of All Ages backgrounds

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:44.280
<v Speaker 1>UM Children, and they have all children of different ages.

0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.040
<v Speaker 1>And I specifically wanted not only myself my own stories,

0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.040
<v Speaker 1>but my mom squad so that anybody can really read

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 1>this book and have something to relate to, because I

0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.840
<v Speaker 1>feel like we're all suffering from these common subjects, do

0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:59.720
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean? So that's why I wanted

0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.120
<v Speaker 1>to write us. I couldn't find this book out there,

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.320
<v Speaker 1>so I was like, I'm just gonna write it. You know,

0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I have a I have an incredible amount of empathy

0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:10.640
<v Speaker 1>for you moms because you don't hear of dad's shaming, right,

0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 1>you hear of like mommy shaming, and it feels like

0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:17.639
<v Speaker 1>society and people have put all the pressure on you

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.480
<v Speaker 1>all and when really it's equally the husband. You know,

0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:24.040
<v Speaker 1>the mom and the dad are responsibility to do and

0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:26.879
<v Speaker 1>to go through all of this. And I know this

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:30.679
<v Speaker 1>second time around for jan and I, really communicating on

0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.719
<v Speaker 1>how we honestly feel in a moment really helped us.

0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.280
<v Speaker 1>Just being like and allowed her to not feel alone.

0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:38.760
<v Speaker 1>Because Jane is very much like you. She thrives in chaos.

0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.679
<v Speaker 1>If things aren't going crazy around her, she's uncomfortable. She

0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.800
<v Speaker 1>needs like things to like it's it's insane, she has

0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:49.120
<v Speaker 1>to have it. So for her to finally lean into

0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.040
<v Speaker 1>me and us to meet there and for me to

0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:53.720
<v Speaker 1>reassure her that she's not alone and what she's feeling

0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.919
<v Speaker 1>at times really helped us the second time around. And

0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:01.600
<v Speaker 1>my question to you is like, how is been your husband?

0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:04.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, how has he stepped up as as a

0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 1>father and kind of you know, been there. I want

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.080
<v Speaker 1>to focus on the positive of kind of the husband, wife,

0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:14.520
<v Speaker 1>mom dad connection like for the second one second one around. Yeah,

0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:21.720
<v Speaker 1>he look, I'm so fortunate because he is the best partner, husband,

0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:24.919
<v Speaker 1>everything I could have ever asked for. And before we

0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:26.960
<v Speaker 1>got together, I wrote a list. I'm not kidding, and

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.199
<v Speaker 1>I say this to my single friends. I wrote a

0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:32.920
<v Speaker 1>list of exactly what I wanted. And I'm like, this

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:34.960
<v Speaker 1>is what I want and I'm not talking about like

0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I did that. It's the dear God, let her please

0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.879
<v Speaker 1>send me this man exactly exactly. So I wrote my

0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:43.840
<v Speaker 1>version of that, okay, And it's not about it's like

0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:47.200
<v Speaker 1>real true connection stuff that I wrote down from like

0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:51.800
<v Speaker 1>connecting on levels that it's not just about looks and

0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.399
<v Speaker 1>this I mean obviously of course being attracted your writner

0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:58.920
<v Speaker 1>is a big deal, but it's like the really deep

0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.440
<v Speaker 1>things that I was for in my life partner. And

0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:06.159
<v Speaker 1>once I wrote that list, he he was there and

0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.439
<v Speaker 1>that was you know what I mean. So I and

0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I did a lot of my own work to be

0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 1>ready to happen in my life. And that's a whole other,

0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:14.919
<v Speaker 1>you know, situation. But and that's why we say we

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.480
<v Speaker 1>like earn each other. But I'm really fortunate in that

0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:23.679
<v Speaker 1>he's the most incredible partner I could ever ask for. Um.

0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:27.160
<v Speaker 1>And when I was going through all this, um, when

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.399
<v Speaker 1>I first started kind of putting it down and writing

0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:33.040
<v Speaker 1>about it, he was the one who really inspired me

0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:37.320
<v Speaker 1>to start writing it in the form of a book

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 1>where he's like, you can't be the only one dealing

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:42.679
<v Speaker 1>with this, and he said, there's you know, there's so

0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:44.159
<v Speaker 1>many other women out there that have got to be

0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:47.439
<v Speaker 1>struggling with this too, And that was one of you know,

0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:49.880
<v Speaker 1>besides the fact that how I helped work through things

0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:51.840
<v Speaker 1>is by writing about it and getting it out. And

0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:54.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, that's what we do with their communication, We

0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:58.240
<v Speaker 1>get it out. UM. But he was a big inspiration

0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:01.920
<v Speaker 1>on that regard to you know, open my eyes to

0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:04.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, you should think about writing about this so

0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:08.160
<v Speaker 1>people can heal from it. It sounds really supportive. Yeah,

0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:11.280
<v Speaker 1>I can't like amazing, you know what I mean. I'm

0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:13.439
<v Speaker 1>very fortunate. And you know the other thing too, is

0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:15.240
<v Speaker 1>I also write in my book, you know, I have

0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:20.640
<v Speaker 1>an entire chapter on partnership because you know, everybody can

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:23.160
<v Speaker 1>relate to a chapter on partnership on how to keep

0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:27.040
<v Speaker 1>your partnership strong. After kids are in the mix. The

0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:31.440
<v Speaker 1>other thing too is and again that's myself, my own stories,

0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:33.920
<v Speaker 1>my my mom squad, you know, a bunch of people

0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:37.479
<v Speaker 1>chiming in. But the other thing too is that I

0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:39.960
<v Speaker 1>can't tell you how many people have read the book

0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:44.320
<v Speaker 1>because it came out a week ago, who are not

0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:47.159
<v Speaker 1>mothers or might or may choose and not to be,

0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:49.359
<v Speaker 1>who are still getting so much out of the book,

0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.399
<v Speaker 1>as well as partners getting a better understanding of what

0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:55.040
<v Speaker 1>their partner went through, you know, as their mother. But

0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell you how many people have gotten so

0:21:57.280 --> 0:21:59.160
<v Speaker 1>much out of it because I speak to these things

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.840
<v Speaker 1>of you know, stress control, anxiety. That's what I was

0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:06.000
<v Speaker 1>just going to ask in the book, because um, do

0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:08.119
<v Speaker 1>do you talk about ways like how you've been able

0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:11.040
<v Speaker 1>to cope with your anxiety and ways that are helpful

0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:14.200
<v Speaker 1>for for those suffering with anxiety, Because I'm like, I

0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:17.680
<v Speaker 1>have mad anxiety, like awful anxiety to the point where

0:22:18.160 --> 0:22:20.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, we we were going to film something and

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:22.200
<v Speaker 1>I was just like, but if I'm not with the kids,

0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:23.640
<v Speaker 1>and you know, and then I just like, I feel

0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.159
<v Speaker 1>like a bad mom, but I'm trying to support my family,

0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:28.200
<v Speaker 1>and so it's just one of those struggles where it's

0:22:28.240 --> 0:22:30.400
<v Speaker 1>just like, and then I'm terrified to fly because oh

0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:32.080
<v Speaker 1>my god, what if something happens? And then I just

0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:35.720
<v Speaker 1>my full entire like just body is just taken over

0:22:35.760 --> 0:22:38.080
<v Speaker 1>with anxiety and fear. So I'm just curious if you

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:41.480
<v Speaker 1>write about that too. I that's exactly what I write about,

0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:45.639
<v Speaker 1>like for real, that's exactly There's a whole section on

0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:48.919
<v Speaker 1>that because I was going through that as well. Here's

0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:50.479
<v Speaker 1>the thing that was so important for me with this

0:22:50.520 --> 0:22:54.520
<v Speaker 1>book was not only did I want to share these

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:57.639
<v Speaker 1>because usually I've been Look, I've been fortunate enough to

0:22:57.640 --> 0:22:59.679
<v Speaker 1>be in my industry for over twenty years, and I

0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:03.520
<v Speaker 1>love what I do, and it's a constant negotiation on

0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:07.360
<v Speaker 1>because I'm a very private person. So and anything I

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:09.280
<v Speaker 1>do that involves my family, my husband and I have

0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:11.920
<v Speaker 1>a conversation about it and we make sure that we're

0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:14.679
<v Speaker 1>on the same page with it because with what I do,

0:23:14.760 --> 0:23:17.360
<v Speaker 1>obviously there's being in the public eye, and we always

0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:21.920
<v Speaker 1>make sure that we are in agreement with that and so,

0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:24.080
<v Speaker 1>but some a lot of the stuff that I shared

0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:27.160
<v Speaker 1>in my book is really personal stuff. But I felt

0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:30.520
<v Speaker 1>like it was so important for the first time because

0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:32.680
<v Speaker 1>I felt like there was this conversation that wasn't being

0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:36.040
<v Speaker 1>had that I really wanted to drop my defenses and

0:23:36.080 --> 0:23:38.720
<v Speaker 1>share these truths. And I share a lot of stuff

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:42.560
<v Speaker 1>in this book that I is really vulnerable for me,

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:44.880
<v Speaker 1>but I felt it was so important so we could

0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:49.720
<v Speaker 1>really have this conversation. And you know, one of the

0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 1>things too, is besides sharing stories and the stories from

0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:59.399
<v Speaker 1>my mom squad, giving tools was a huge thing that

0:23:59.440 --> 0:24:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I wanted in this book. I wanted to give the

0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:04.720
<v Speaker 1>reader tools so that after they read the book, after

0:24:04.760 --> 0:24:08.080
<v Speaker 1>they take the time to read the book, because you know,

0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:10.280
<v Speaker 1>sitting down and reading a book, it's like I want

0:24:10.320 --> 0:24:12.520
<v Speaker 1>to make sure that I can give give something back.

0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:15.159
<v Speaker 1>Walking away with something you're learning, it's like going to

0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:16.800
<v Speaker 1>therapy and then being like, but then how do we

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:20.480
<v Speaker 1>what do we do to stuff? Exactly? Yeah, exactly. So

0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:22.480
<v Speaker 1>that so I wanted to give that to the reader,

0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:25.360
<v Speaker 1>so that I give a lot of tools in the

0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:29.840
<v Speaker 1>book that you can leave with and put into action

0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:32.800
<v Speaker 1>in your life. Because that is so badly what I wanted,

0:24:33.240 --> 0:24:35.560
<v Speaker 1>and that is what I wanted to give the reader

0:24:35.600 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 1>because I needed tools on how to navigate through this

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:42.680
<v Speaker 1>and and again when I was dealing with a particular anxiety,

0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:45.399
<v Speaker 1>like something you were just talking about. You know, my

0:24:45.520 --> 0:24:47.399
<v Speaker 1>friend who was an eighteen year old kids, she was

0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:50.440
<v Speaker 1>dealing with anxiety, but because of a completely different subject

0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:53.639
<v Speaker 1>because our kid is older, but we were both dealing

0:24:53.680 --> 0:24:58.760
<v Speaker 1>with anxiety. So it's really relatable to women of all ages.

0:24:59.480 --> 0:25:02.119
<v Speaker 1>And the his tools were really important to me to

0:25:02.240 --> 0:25:05.960
<v Speaker 1>give in the book. In every chapter there's that, and

0:25:06.000 --> 0:25:08.600
<v Speaker 1>then at the end of the chapter, I also asked

0:25:08.600 --> 0:25:11.120
<v Speaker 1>the reader to reflect on their own situations. So it's

0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I really tried to make the book like a conversation,

0:25:14.240 --> 0:25:16.760
<v Speaker 1>like a dialogue back and forth love that I want,

0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:22.120
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm gonna can I Can I order it on Amazon? Yes? Yes, perfect, yes,

0:25:23.160 --> 0:25:27.639
<v Speaker 1>right now, you and I. It's out everywhere everywhere, books

0:25:27.680 --> 0:25:31.160
<v Speaker 1>are out. It's out, and it's you know, you can

0:25:31.280 --> 0:25:33.240
<v Speaker 1>order a physical copy, you can get an e book.

0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:37.280
<v Speaker 1>It's it's out. Do you dad have anxieties? By the way,

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:40.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean there are dads I do, but you know me,

0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:46.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm like you never get I am um. But

0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:49.960
<v Speaker 1>that's why we balanced each other out. Because I'm in

0:25:49.960 --> 0:25:52.760
<v Speaker 1>a plane and it's like terrible turbulence and like, oh

0:25:52.800 --> 0:25:55.080
<v Speaker 1>my god, I could have been a great mother and like,

0:25:55.119 --> 0:25:56.879
<v Speaker 1>my kids are never gonna know me and he's just

0:25:56.920 --> 0:26:04.000
<v Speaker 1>like sitting there watching his iPad like nothing's happening. Yeah,

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:06.840
<v Speaker 1>we have to. Well, I'm sure you pretty much answered

0:26:06.840 --> 0:26:08.960
<v Speaker 1>my question about what can people you know leave with

0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:11.919
<v Speaker 1>it out of you know, this book. And but I

0:26:11.920 --> 0:26:14.760
<v Speaker 1>will say I again, I appreciate and respect the fact

0:26:14.800 --> 0:26:17.680
<v Speaker 1>that you're being so open because I understand being in

0:26:17.720 --> 0:26:21.120
<v Speaker 1>the public eye and being a celebrity status. It's it's

0:26:21.160 --> 0:26:25.879
<v Speaker 1>scary to lean into that honest, true emotion and experience

0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:28.800
<v Speaker 1>that you may be going through. Um, But with a

0:26:28.840 --> 0:26:31.440
<v Speaker 1>book like it sounds like yours is, you can't bullshit

0:26:31.560 --> 0:26:34.680
<v Speaker 1>that stuff like people readers will will read right past

0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:36.760
<v Speaker 1>that be like this isn't this isn't me, this is

0:26:36.760 --> 0:26:40.359
<v Speaker 1>all fluff. And so I'm inspired to to read it

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:42.960
<v Speaker 1>with Janna, and especially that you talk about partnerships and

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 1>that people that aren't aren't aren't aren't even married and

0:26:45.280 --> 0:26:47.600
<v Speaker 1>don't have kids can get something out of it. Um,

0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:49.439
<v Speaker 1>Janna and I are all about that life and that

0:26:49.520 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 1>therapeutic life and learning more about each other and everything.

0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 1>So uh, we'll definitely check it out, and we hope

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 1>all the readers married or not, our kids are not

0:26:57.720 --> 0:27:00.359
<v Speaker 1>check it out to yep you and I as mother Laura,

0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.320
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. I know you're on this crazy

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:05.800
<v Speaker 1>book tour right now, so I just love you. Thank

0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:07.720
<v Speaker 1>you guys so much for having me, and thank you

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:11.000
<v Speaker 1>guys for what you're doing. And um, I'm just yeah,

0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:13.920
<v Speaker 1>thanks for having me on you guys. So excited to

0:27:13.960 --> 0:27:19.199
<v Speaker 1>read your book. Thank you bye, guys. She's so sweet,

0:27:20.119 --> 0:27:24.560
<v Speaker 1>so sweet. I loved her. She was awesome. I just

0:27:24.760 --> 0:27:28.280
<v Speaker 1>really appreciate what she said that she tried to find

0:27:28.320 --> 0:27:30.200
<v Speaker 1>the book and she couldn't find it, so she wrote it.

0:27:30.240 --> 0:27:33.800
<v Speaker 1>Like I appreciate people that are willing to share their

0:27:33.840 --> 0:27:38.600
<v Speaker 1>stories because they couldn't find it for themselves, so now

0:27:38.600 --> 0:27:40.840
<v Speaker 1>they're wanting to give it back to somebody else. I

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:44.159
<v Speaker 1>just like, I really love that a lot. No, I

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:47.280
<v Speaker 1>think it's great and it's very powerful thing for someone

0:27:47.320 --> 0:27:50.800
<v Speaker 1>to do. I just think it's funny that like the

0:27:50.840 --> 0:27:53.679
<v Speaker 1>difference in a mom and dad when it comes to

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:58.240
<v Speaker 1>just the reality. I mean so much so that I

0:27:58.400 --> 0:28:03.960
<v Speaker 1>freak out because you know, for some reason, Jason's room

0:28:04.080 --> 0:28:07.480
<v Speaker 1>just does not get heat to it, and he's you know,

0:28:07.560 --> 0:28:10.040
<v Speaker 1>Michael has been quarantine up in the room, up in

0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:13.040
<v Speaker 1>his media room, like playing video games like at night,

0:28:13.119 --> 0:28:17.840
<v Speaker 1>and he like will keep turning the like the cooler on,

0:28:17.960 --> 0:28:20.800
<v Speaker 1>and I just like, in my mind, there's been so

0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:22.840
<v Speaker 1>many times when I've gone up there and I'm like, Michael,

0:28:22.880 --> 0:28:25.000
<v Speaker 1>you have to keep the heat on because it's going

0:28:25.080 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 1>to freeze in that little boy's room. And I just

0:28:27.840 --> 0:28:30.400
<v Speaker 1>like I stay up and it's just like, maybe that's

0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:32.920
<v Speaker 1>why I'm waking up in such a panic every night,

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:35.840
<v Speaker 1>because even last night I went, I made sure to

0:28:35.880 --> 0:28:37.960
<v Speaker 1>go upstairs. I put the heat on, and then you know,

0:28:38.000 --> 0:28:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, honey, it's really cold in his room.

0:28:39.760 --> 0:28:41.640
<v Speaker 1>Stipe put the heat on, like please don't change it.

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:44.480
<v Speaker 1>And I swear to God this morning when I woke

0:28:44.560 --> 0:28:46.560
<v Speaker 1>up and got that little boy, he was like an

0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:49.040
<v Speaker 1>icicle in his room. You put the damn cooler on.

0:28:49.280 --> 0:28:57.440
<v Speaker 1>What are you thinking. I was like, Mike, don't forget that.

0:28:57.440 --> 0:29:00.480
<v Speaker 1>I was worried about little man being cold. He's literally

0:29:00.640 --> 0:29:05.000
<v Speaker 1>was like walked into his room. I was like, mother,

0:29:06.920 --> 0:29:10.560
<v Speaker 1>So that started our morning off great. But it's just like,

0:29:11.120 --> 0:29:12.680
<v Speaker 1>you know again, like I wake up in the middle

0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:14.320
<v Speaker 1>of the night thinking of those things and you're just

0:29:14.360 --> 0:29:16.720
<v Speaker 1>like you wake up and you're like, I want some

0:29:16.800 --> 0:29:21.080
<v Speaker 1>chicken nuggets with French fries. But it's every you know,

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:25.920
<v Speaker 1>cartoon or you know, when there's the funnies in the

0:29:25.960 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 1>in the papers, the funny papers, like the comic cartoons

0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:31.720
<v Speaker 1>and the papers and stuff, it's like you see all those,

0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:38.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, representations of women thinking in depth thought and

0:29:38.120 --> 0:29:41.520
<v Speaker 1>then it's like, you know, thinking about what, you know,

0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 1>what color their poop was that morning or something. So

0:29:44.640 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 1>it's I mean, guys in general, I think are a

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:49.640
<v Speaker 1>little bit more laxed, but in our relationship, you know

0:29:49.720 --> 0:29:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I am, And again we bounced each other out. And

0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:54.720
<v Speaker 1>do you ever worry? Like what are your fears about

0:29:56.120 --> 0:29:59.200
<v Speaker 1>parenthood in the in the kids? Like I do you?

0:29:59.400 --> 0:30:05.920
<v Speaker 1>Do you genuine only have any fears or anxiety? Or

0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:09.440
<v Speaker 1>do I just carry them all for you? Do I do?

0:30:09.480 --> 0:30:12.000
<v Speaker 1>I worry enough for you. But my whole thing is

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:15.560
<v Speaker 1>about being prepared. So we have an arsenal because you

0:30:15.560 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 1>think zombies are coming, Hey, we didn't. We didn't know

0:30:19.160 --> 0:30:22.480
<v Speaker 1>COVID was coming. You can't shoot it. And Janna gave

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:24.560
<v Speaker 1>me ship about all these latex gloves that I bought

0:30:24.640 --> 0:30:27.160
<v Speaker 1>for the garage. To clean stuff and we use them

0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:29.600
<v Speaker 1>all the time. Now I did that came in and

0:30:30.240 --> 0:30:33.440
<v Speaker 1>so did the fifty thousand sanitizer bottles that I bought

0:30:33.480 --> 0:30:37.440
<v Speaker 1>like a year ago. It's for me. I think it's

0:30:37.440 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 1>just preparation. And I always tease that, you know, I

0:30:39.600 --> 0:30:42.360
<v Speaker 1>have like a part of my personalities like a doomsday

0:30:42.360 --> 0:30:45.200
<v Speaker 1>prepper and I want like a fallout shelter one day

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:51.960
<v Speaker 1>or something. But that's what relieves my anxiety is if

0:30:52.280 --> 0:30:57.520
<v Speaker 1>ship goes down, we have what we need. And you know,

0:30:57.600 --> 0:30:59.760
<v Speaker 1>that goes back to when I was a kid. You

0:30:59.800 --> 0:31:01.960
<v Speaker 1>know the thing I've said about my dad, it's like

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:09.400
<v Speaker 1>in any situation, regardless of week, of how things are going,

0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I never was truly worried because I knew my dad

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:19.400
<v Speaker 1>could handle something, Like it didn't matter what it was.

0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I just knew my dad would handle it. And it

0:31:22.200 --> 0:31:26.040
<v Speaker 1>was such a reassured feeling as a kid, Like at

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:28.719
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, I like, my Dad's got us,

0:31:30.000 --> 0:31:33.480
<v Speaker 1>you know so, And that's I want that so badly

0:31:33.800 --> 0:31:36.239
<v Speaker 1>for y'all, like I want our kids. I want you

0:31:36.280 --> 0:31:38.640
<v Speaker 1>to be able to be like, no matter what's going

0:31:38.680 --> 0:31:42.080
<v Speaker 1>on in the world, we're together and Dad's got us.

0:31:42.560 --> 0:31:44.360
<v Speaker 1>He might freeze you out of the house, but he's

0:31:44.400 --> 0:31:46.320
<v Speaker 1>got you. You might have the a C on in

0:31:46.360 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>the wintertime, but he's got you. It is. It's just

0:31:50.200 --> 0:31:52.720
<v Speaker 1>one of those things like that. So that's for me.

0:31:53.280 --> 0:31:56.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying, I think, just it's naturally instilled to me

0:31:56.040 --> 0:31:57.840
<v Speaker 1>to be calm, cool and collected in a lot of

0:31:57.880 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 1>ways because that's how my dad was. And I want

0:32:00.360 --> 0:32:04.720
<v Speaker 1>to be that rock in that sense for y'all, um,

0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:07.280
<v Speaker 1>which I think every man wants to be for their family.

0:32:07.360 --> 0:32:10.760
<v Speaker 1>But it's just knowing that my dad absolutely was that

0:32:12.240 --> 0:32:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't really register a lot of fears and situations. Yeah, Like,

0:32:19.000 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I can definitely, I can understand that for sure.

0:32:23.320 --> 0:32:27.800
<v Speaker 1>And I'll say, you're becoming my rock because you are

0:32:27.840 --> 0:32:32.200
<v Speaker 1>better with my anxieties and stuff instead of making me

0:32:32.200 --> 0:32:35.040
<v Speaker 1>feel stupid. Yeah, it's like you've done an incredible job

0:32:35.080 --> 0:32:39.760
<v Speaker 1>with that. So I mean, I'm starting to trust in

0:32:39.800 --> 0:32:46.760
<v Speaker 1>the rock that I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.440
<v Speaker 1>And and the theme of the previous episodes, she still

0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:52.520
<v Speaker 1>has questions, but how big of a rock are you?

0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:55.520
<v Speaker 1>Are you a gray rock? What kind of rock are you? Yeah?

0:32:55.600 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 1>I know I've stopped asking as many, but here's the deal. Um,

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:06.760
<v Speaker 1>sometimes we're just a nagging wife. Yes, and it's I

0:33:06.840 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 1>love that that's what we argue about now, because I'd

0:33:10.200 --> 0:33:13.800
<v Speaker 1>rather argue about a nagging wife than a that's true.

0:33:14.920 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 1>You know what? Yeah, then lies and I wasn't going

0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:23.200
<v Speaker 1>to say it ain't no secret. All right, let's take

0:33:23.240 --> 0:33:36.360
<v Speaker 1>a break. USA Today articles suggests that you should text

0:33:36.480 --> 0:33:39.520
<v Speaker 1>all your exes just in case you have one more

0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:45.400
<v Speaker 1>thing you wanted to get off your chest. Why that

0:33:45.640 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 1>was USA Today? USA Today suggested that you should text

0:33:49.960 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 1>all your exes just in case you have one more

0:33:51.840 --> 0:33:53.400
<v Speaker 1>thing you wanted to get off your chest. If you

0:33:53.440 --> 0:33:56.640
<v Speaker 1>had one X to text, oh, I like it. It

0:33:56.680 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 1>should be I should start the hashtag one X text.

0:34:03.600 --> 0:34:05.600
<v Speaker 1>You just want to stir the pot right now while

0:34:05.600 --> 0:34:09.120
<v Speaker 1>everyone's quarantine. But hey, it's not me. It's USA Today

0:34:09.560 --> 0:34:13.000
<v Speaker 1>one X two text challenge. Who would you text? And why?

0:34:13.120 --> 0:34:18.120
<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing. What what I make up is you

0:34:18.200 --> 0:34:21.040
<v Speaker 1>have two ways to go with this. You're either going

0:34:21.080 --> 0:34:23.400
<v Speaker 1>to text them like I'm sorry, my bad, or you're

0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:27.319
<v Speaker 1>gonna text them I miss you. Why would you say

0:34:27.320 --> 0:34:30.720
<v Speaker 1>that you missed an X? Not me? But I'm saying

0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:33.040
<v Speaker 1>people like, what else would you have Hey, I had

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:36.279
<v Speaker 1>broccoli for breakfast? Like, what are you going to text them?

0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:39.400
<v Speaker 1>And say? Um? I would text the next and say,

0:34:39.880 --> 0:34:42.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you right now. I know exactly the X

0:34:42.520 --> 0:34:47.080
<v Speaker 1>that I would text. I would text the X. Is

0:34:47.120 --> 0:34:50.759
<v Speaker 1>there a baby cry? No? I think it is me

0:34:50.880 --> 0:34:55.359
<v Speaker 1>breathing in a gap. You're gonna get like a little

0:34:55.360 --> 0:35:00.360
<v Speaker 1>whistle in your nerves. Yeah, okay, So my hash tag

0:35:00.800 --> 0:35:06.719
<v Speaker 1>one x two text challenge is I would say I'm

0:35:06.760 --> 0:35:12.839
<v Speaker 1>really sorry for the person that I was and the

0:35:12.880 --> 0:35:16.839
<v Speaker 1>way that I wasn't healthy enough to be in that relationship.

0:35:17.680 --> 0:35:30.080
<v Speaker 1>Who did you say that to Brentley? It's out? Shut it? No,

0:35:30.520 --> 0:35:33.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, like, you know, I was just I

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:38.360
<v Speaker 1>wasn't you know? No, my god, No, I'm just saying

0:35:38.800 --> 0:35:41.480
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't the best version of myself and that relationship

0:35:41.480 --> 0:35:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I just wasn't, and and I I will. I always

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:47.480
<v Speaker 1>have a little bit of regret that I didn't handle

0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:51.920
<v Speaker 1>things better, for sure, And that's adult. I'm mature of you.

0:35:52.120 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean I would practically say the same thing to yours. Yeah, well,

0:35:58.560 --> 0:35:59.920
<v Speaker 1>we're not going to reach out to them because that

0:36:00.000 --> 0:36:05.040
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be healthy. Do you know who mine would be yes,

0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I know. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, anyways, so if y'all can email, no,

0:36:18.800 --> 0:36:23.080
<v Speaker 1>we are not. That's done, okay, Um, Janna just want

0:36:23.120 --> 0:36:25.400
<v Speaker 1>to take this opportunity to well actually know you. I

0:36:25.480 --> 0:36:29.960
<v Speaker 1>should d m S on our wind Down podcast um Instagram. Yeah,

0:36:30.040 --> 0:36:33.239
<v Speaker 1>so it's wind Down Podcast d m S and let

0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:36.120
<v Speaker 1>us know your one x that you want us and

0:36:36.160 --> 0:36:40.400
<v Speaker 1>why and we will next um next episode. We will

0:36:40.560 --> 0:36:43.319
<v Speaker 1>share some share. You can be anonymous, but just share

0:36:43.360 --> 0:36:45.880
<v Speaker 1>the person's first name. Yeah, so we can be like

0:36:46.120 --> 0:36:50.200
<v Speaker 1>for Stacey out there, I'm sorry for Yeah, we'll just

0:36:50.280 --> 0:36:55.399
<v Speaker 1>we'll be your apology. I love that sweet or you're

0:36:55.600 --> 0:36:58.120
<v Speaker 1>not just your apology or your or your f you

0:36:58.120 --> 0:37:04.360
<v Speaker 1>you mother, b B, I miss you. It's gonna be fine.

0:37:05.520 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 1>Do we have any emails? We do? Let's uh, we're

0:37:10.800 --> 0:37:12.719
<v Speaker 1>gonna I'm gonna check my d m S two on

0:37:12.800 --> 0:37:14.960
<v Speaker 1>the Wine Down podcast and see if we've got a name.

0:37:15.040 --> 0:37:18.440
<v Speaker 1>But read me an email first, all right. This email

0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:22.000
<v Speaker 1>is from a tourist in my own world. It's titled

0:37:22.000 --> 0:37:24.799
<v Speaker 1>issues in the Bedroom. My boyfriend and I have been

0:37:24.800 --> 0:37:28.279
<v Speaker 1>together for six months. We are my boyfriend and I are.

0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:36.920
<v Speaker 1>This email is from tourist at my own Oh my god. Okay,

0:37:37.120 --> 0:37:40.480
<v Speaker 1>start over Eastern Please call this. It's on Tori to

0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:46.759
<v Speaker 1>do it. She might not alright. This emails from a

0:37:46.800 --> 0:37:49.760
<v Speaker 1>tourist in my own world and the title is issues

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:52.240
<v Speaker 1>in the Bedroom. My boyfriend and I have been together

0:37:52.280 --> 0:37:55.120
<v Speaker 1>for six months. We are having problems in the bedroom.

0:37:55.160 --> 0:37:57.120
<v Speaker 1>He has had problems in the past where a girl

0:37:57.160 --> 0:37:59.799
<v Speaker 1>has told him not to climax. So when we were

0:37:59.800 --> 0:38:02.120
<v Speaker 1>in the moment, I said, it's okay if you can't.

0:38:02.840 --> 0:38:05.200
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that bothered him until three weeks later

0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:07.600
<v Speaker 1>when he told me that's why he's been acting distant.

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:10.040
<v Speaker 1>He said he knows I said it coming from the

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:12.399
<v Speaker 1>best place, but he mentally didn't respond well. But now

0:38:12.440 --> 0:38:14.200
<v Speaker 1>he says he doesn't want to have sex right now.

0:38:14.480 --> 0:38:16.560
<v Speaker 1>He's distant. I'm so worried he's unhappy with me. My

0:38:16.600 --> 0:38:19.120
<v Speaker 1>anxiety and depression are through the roof, even with all

0:38:19.160 --> 0:38:21.279
<v Speaker 1>the individual therapy I do. Mike, how can I more

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:23.800
<v Speaker 1>understand why he doesn't want to have sex with me? Ganna,

0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:25.919
<v Speaker 1>how do you know when to let go and when

0:38:25.920 --> 0:38:33.600
<v Speaker 1>to keep pulling on? That's a bummer because I just

0:38:33.640 --> 0:38:39.760
<v Speaker 1>wish i'all could maybe communicate about it. Um and I think,

0:38:39.960 --> 0:38:42.520
<v Speaker 1>if you know, I would just try to sit him

0:38:42.560 --> 0:38:45.960
<v Speaker 1>down and have a conversation with them and just talk

0:38:46.000 --> 0:38:49.359
<v Speaker 1>about like how it made a feel and because there's

0:38:49.400 --> 0:38:52.480
<v Speaker 1>nothing worse than having conversations about sex and not performing

0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:54.640
<v Speaker 1>in the bedroom. I mean, that's what took Mike and

0:38:54.680 --> 0:39:00.880
<v Speaker 1>I like a few months off of our pattern. I

0:39:00.880 --> 0:39:03.640
<v Speaker 1>guess you can say, because when you have anxiety, it's

0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:06.600
<v Speaker 1>and then you talk about it and there's performance issues

0:39:06.600 --> 0:39:10.000
<v Speaker 1>in the bedroom, is just gonna get worse. Um, So

0:39:10.040 --> 0:39:12.640
<v Speaker 1>I think maybe just have one final last conversation then

0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:16.840
<v Speaker 1>don't bring it up again and see if it gets better, um,

0:39:16.960 --> 0:39:19.120
<v Speaker 1>and just kind of go from there. But I would

0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I would not beat the horse un intended twelve year

0:39:27.960 --> 0:39:33.640
<v Speaker 1>old Janna. Um, how Mike, how can I understand more

0:39:33.680 --> 0:39:36.919
<v Speaker 1>of it? So? Yeah, to Jane's point, this is hard

0:39:37.000 --> 0:39:44.280
<v Speaker 1>because for men it becomes like a mental thing. And

0:39:46.280 --> 0:39:47.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, when Janna and I have had issues in

0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:53.720
<v Speaker 1>the past, it does become this just mental handicap where

0:39:53.880 --> 0:39:57.160
<v Speaker 1>you start like I would have anxiety when it got

0:39:57.160 --> 0:40:03.640
<v Speaker 1>closer to bedtime because of just my fears of being

0:40:03.680 --> 0:40:09.319
<v Speaker 1>intimate or performance issues or not being another whatever it was.

0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:13.000
<v Speaker 1>M it's been a long time since I've dealt with that,

0:40:13.040 --> 0:40:15.880
<v Speaker 1>but it just takes time of just comfort and for you.

0:40:16.480 --> 0:40:19.840
<v Speaker 1>It was finally until Janna realized that the more she

0:40:20.040 --> 0:40:22.680
<v Speaker 1>harped on me about it, the more she you know,

0:40:22.880 --> 0:40:26.360
<v Speaker 1>pressured me about it, didn't help. That just pushed me

0:40:26.400 --> 0:40:31.040
<v Speaker 1>farther away. So once Janna was just like, didn't have

0:40:31.120 --> 0:40:35.120
<v Speaker 1>these expectations, and and just I was like, okay, like

0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:36.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, let's just lay in bed, like we we

0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:40.239
<v Speaker 1>don't even have to like bring up sex, you know,

0:40:40.320 --> 0:40:44.000
<v Speaker 1>y'aker takes sex off the table for a period of time,

0:40:44.040 --> 0:40:46.120
<v Speaker 1>a couple of weeks, a couple of days, a month, whatever,

0:40:47.480 --> 0:40:51.120
<v Speaker 1>and then allow him to get more comfortable, you know,

0:40:51.200 --> 0:40:53.960
<v Speaker 1>going through the day with you, so leading up to

0:40:54.000 --> 0:40:59.880
<v Speaker 1>bedtime there's no pressure. Um, So it's tough, you know,

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:03.840
<v Speaker 1>it's a sensitive thing for guys. Have a d M

0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:06.960
<v Speaker 1>from the wind Down Podcast Instagram question for the podcast.

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:10.160
<v Speaker 1>Would love some outside advice. My husband's parents are verbally

0:41:10.239 --> 0:41:13.800
<v Speaker 1>mentally abusive, and his dad threatened me last spring because

0:41:13.800 --> 0:41:16.520
<v Speaker 1>they feel I'm taking their son away from them. Since

0:41:16.640 --> 0:41:19.080
<v Speaker 1>him and I have started standing up to them, my

0:41:19.160 --> 0:41:22.560
<v Speaker 1>husband decided he wanted to cut them off out of

0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:25.720
<v Speaker 1>their life after he threatened me, so we haven't talked

0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:27.759
<v Speaker 1>to them in months. The issue now is that I'm

0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:30.360
<v Speaker 1>eight weeks pregnant and my husband is really struggling with

0:41:30.400 --> 0:41:32.520
<v Speaker 1>knowing his parents won't be involved in his kid's life,

0:41:32.520 --> 0:41:35.040
<v Speaker 1>and it's making him very sad and I don't know

0:41:35.080 --> 0:41:37.640
<v Speaker 1>how to support him. I told him previously if he

0:41:37.719 --> 0:41:39.960
<v Speaker 1>ever felt he wanted to change his mind about cutting

0:41:39.960 --> 0:41:42.319
<v Speaker 1>them out, as long as we are safe, I would

0:41:42.320 --> 0:41:45.160
<v Speaker 1>support him and whatever he decided. That being said, I

0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:47.920
<v Speaker 1>now have to think about a kid and their safety,

0:41:47.960 --> 0:41:50.080
<v Speaker 1>and I do not trust his parents to be a

0:41:50.120 --> 0:41:54.320
<v Speaker 1>part of their life. How would you handle this? Wow?

0:41:54.480 --> 0:41:59.520
<v Speaker 1>How and why? I just think he says, because she

0:41:59.560 --> 0:42:02.880
<v Speaker 1>said be has um they had threatened and they felt

0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:05.680
<v Speaker 1>like you know, he was she was taking him away

0:42:05.760 --> 0:42:09.799
<v Speaker 1>from the family because they started staying because the Sun

0:42:09.920 --> 0:42:11.480
<v Speaker 1>was being like, you can't talk to my wife like

0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:17.919
<v Speaker 1>that psycho family. Well look, yes, but I also think

0:42:19.200 --> 0:42:22.879
<v Speaker 1>some families are just very especially in the sun, like,

0:42:23.080 --> 0:42:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Lord knows what I'll be with my son. I mean, granted,

0:42:26.440 --> 0:42:30.239
<v Speaker 1>not to threaten someone like that's so severe, Like that's

0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:35.839
<v Speaker 1>not okay at all, um at all, And honestly, you

0:42:35.840 --> 0:42:37.840
<v Speaker 1>know as I'm reading. As I was reading it, I

0:42:37.880 --> 0:42:39.840
<v Speaker 1>was just starting to think, like I got really protective

0:42:39.880 --> 0:42:41.880
<v Speaker 1>as a mama bear, and I'm like, no way the

0:42:41.960 --> 0:42:45.000
<v Speaker 1>kid is going to be around the grandparents. But at

0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:48.919
<v Speaker 1>the same time, if that's like your parents, it's that's

0:42:48.960 --> 0:42:51.680
<v Speaker 1>such a hard situation. I would probably say, like if

0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:57.439
<v Speaker 1>they start to show any sign of remorse or empathy

0:42:57.560 --> 0:43:00.640
<v Speaker 1>or say they're sorry, then maybe I would let them

0:43:00.680 --> 0:43:04.080
<v Speaker 1>have like a visitation, not alone with the baby, but

0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:07.799
<v Speaker 1>like with your husband and the baby and you there too.

0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:09.359
<v Speaker 1>And if you don't want to be there to make

0:43:09.400 --> 0:43:12.960
<v Speaker 1>sure your husband like is you know, absolutely by the baby,

0:43:13.040 --> 0:43:15.319
<v Speaker 1>because I totally get them, you wanting them to have

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:17.960
<v Speaker 1>a relationship too, But if they're threatening you, like you

0:43:17.960 --> 0:43:19.520
<v Speaker 1>don't want any part of that, and that's not going

0:43:19.600 --> 0:43:23.000
<v Speaker 1>to be healthy for any situation. And you also don't

0:43:23.000 --> 0:43:28.279
<v Speaker 1>want that's just like not good. No, And I mean

0:43:28.360 --> 0:43:33.800
<v Speaker 1>unless she is you know, bat ship and like really

0:43:33.840 --> 0:43:36.600
<v Speaker 1>just a bad influence on him or something that we

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:40.240
<v Speaker 1>don't know about. Why would something like someone's parents threaten

0:43:42.080 --> 0:43:45.719
<v Speaker 1>them and like the fact that they're together and having

0:43:45.760 --> 0:43:51.560
<v Speaker 1>a kid. For me, even if it was my parents,

0:43:52.800 --> 0:43:55.680
<v Speaker 1>if they acted that way, I'll be like, f you,

0:43:57.120 --> 0:43:58.880
<v Speaker 1>And the only way you're going to see your grandkids

0:43:58.960 --> 0:44:00.719
<v Speaker 1>is if they do what you're saying. We're over a

0:44:00.719 --> 0:44:05.280
<v Speaker 1>period of time, they show remorse, they show empathy and

0:44:05.480 --> 0:44:08.080
<v Speaker 1>sincerity with them being sorry and the way they were,

0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:10.319
<v Speaker 1>and maybe they can warm up to having some time.

0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:14.960
<v Speaker 1>But I would have no issue cutting out my parents

0:44:14.960 --> 0:44:18.400
<v Speaker 1>if I had to, if they were acting that way. None.

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:22.360
<v Speaker 1>But that's just me. No, I mean same anything to

0:44:22.400 --> 0:44:25.759
<v Speaker 1>protect because the the day it's I can handle any

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:29.160
<v Speaker 1>threat whatever, it sucks and it hurts. But when it

0:44:29.200 --> 0:44:31.719
<v Speaker 1>comes to my kids, like I'm in a mama bear

0:44:31.760 --> 0:44:33.960
<v Speaker 1>the crap out of them and they know nobody coming

0:44:34.000 --> 0:44:36.719
<v Speaker 1>near me, near me or my kids that are going

0:44:36.719 --> 0:44:40.000
<v Speaker 1>to be like that. Um, try to read one moreder

0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:42.279
<v Speaker 1>already think we're done. We're gonna go. I like this

0:44:42.320 --> 0:44:45.080
<v Speaker 1>handing me an email unless you found a good DM.

0:44:45.120 --> 0:44:46.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's a bunch of good dms like how

0:44:46.640 --> 0:44:52.879
<v Speaker 1>you're handing, like managing anxiety and right now drink works

0:44:52.880 --> 0:44:56.680
<v Speaker 1>in wine and a lot of deep breaths and quiet time.

0:44:57.600 --> 0:45:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Read the Handyman one buddy, Okay, they one's from Jamie,

0:45:01.320 --> 0:45:03.919
<v Speaker 1>my handyman. I wanted to follow up with you about

0:45:03.920 --> 0:45:06.520
<v Speaker 1>asking questions when my husband does a project. My husband

0:45:06.600 --> 0:45:09.960
<v Speaker 1>is not as handy as Mike I think, so I

0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:12.600
<v Speaker 1>do ask a lot of questions and I'm totally judging

0:45:12.760 --> 0:45:15.560
<v Speaker 1>l well. Also, when he does a project, I criticize

0:45:15.600 --> 0:45:18.120
<v Speaker 1>how he does things because it's not how I would

0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:20.279
<v Speaker 1>do it, or it's not how I envision it. How

0:45:20.320 --> 0:45:22.800
<v Speaker 1>do I go about this? First of all, Jamie, I

0:45:22.800 --> 0:45:31.640
<v Speaker 1>appreciate your honesty. Second, um, so what I tell Janna,

0:45:33.320 --> 0:45:36.439
<v Speaker 1>You know, if you say going into a project, he's like, oh,

0:45:36.480 --> 0:45:40.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to do this, and you start to have

0:45:40.120 --> 0:45:45.080
<v Speaker 1>these feelings around it or expectations, sit down and talk

0:45:45.200 --> 0:45:47.560
<v Speaker 1>ahead of time and be like, hey, do you want

0:45:47.600 --> 0:45:49.600
<v Speaker 1>to talk out like what your plan is with it?

0:45:49.719 --> 0:45:52.360
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not trying to control the situation. I just

0:45:52.400 --> 0:45:54.319
<v Speaker 1>don't want to be unfair to you where you do

0:45:54.400 --> 0:45:56.880
<v Speaker 1>it and I ask questions and then I'm critical of

0:45:56.880 --> 0:45:59.520
<v Speaker 1>how you do it. I'm just I just want to understand.

0:46:00.640 --> 0:46:02.759
<v Speaker 1>So like with the patio thing or the show, you

0:46:02.800 --> 0:46:05.040
<v Speaker 1>know the board and all this or the board I forgot,

0:46:05.040 --> 0:46:08.000
<v Speaker 1>But with the patio thing that I built, if Janna

0:46:08.239 --> 0:46:10.160
<v Speaker 1>like going into it, she's like, oh, so what do

0:46:10.160 --> 0:46:12.080
<v Speaker 1>you think you're gonna do? For this? I would have

0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:13.839
<v Speaker 1>talked her through it. I'm like, Okay, I'm a border

0:46:13.920 --> 0:46:15.680
<v Speaker 1>or two by four s and I'm gonna, you know,

0:46:15.719 --> 0:46:17.920
<v Speaker 1>you soil and flatten the ground. I'm gonna put rocks.

0:46:18.239 --> 0:46:22.239
<v Speaker 1>And then she could have any questions then and it

0:46:22.280 --> 0:46:27.840
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be as it wouldn't come across as critical after

0:46:28.160 --> 0:46:30.879
<v Speaker 1>because it was before I did the project. If it's

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:34.120
<v Speaker 1>after I did something, the only way that I can

0:46:34.160 --> 0:46:40.360
<v Speaker 1>receive that is that is is as criticism, because in

0:46:40.440 --> 0:46:43.719
<v Speaker 1>my mind, the only reason you're asking a question is

0:46:43.760 --> 0:46:46.279
<v Speaker 1>because you're critical, or you're questioning it or you don't

0:46:46.280 --> 0:46:48.560
<v Speaker 1>like it. If you ask the questions ahead of time,

0:46:48.600 --> 0:46:52.279
<v Speaker 1>and then y'all both on the same plane for the

0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:54.480
<v Speaker 1>expectations of what it's gonna be, what it's gonna look like,

0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:58.200
<v Speaker 1>and how it's gonna function, then there doesn't have to

0:46:58.239 --> 0:47:02.360
<v Speaker 1>be all these questions and passiveness and criticism. And because

0:47:02.400 --> 0:47:06.000
<v Speaker 1>honestly it's it's frustrating and it's emasculating, and it sucks

0:47:06.600 --> 0:47:09.719
<v Speaker 1>and so and if it's something Jamie that the handiwork

0:47:09.800 --> 0:47:11.840
<v Speaker 1>isn't in your realm like we talked about, you know,

0:47:11.920 --> 0:47:17.520
<v Speaker 1>last episode. You know, it sucks to get criticized on

0:47:17.600 --> 0:47:19.800
<v Speaker 1>something or fuel criticized on something that the other person

0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:24.279
<v Speaker 1>doesn't even do. So honey, yeah, no, I agree with

0:47:24.320 --> 0:47:27.200
<v Speaker 1>that for sure. I definitely agree with up. Um. I

0:47:27.200 --> 0:47:30.040
<v Speaker 1>think we should end on a quarantine p s A.

0:47:30.960 --> 0:47:32.759
<v Speaker 1>I get one and you get one. I love all

0:47:32.760 --> 0:47:36.319
<v Speaker 1>these little weird challenges today. Quarantine p s A. This

0:47:36.480 --> 0:47:40.440
<v Speaker 1>comes to all the husbands out there, UM that are

0:47:40.600 --> 0:47:43.399
<v Speaker 1>listening and just tuning in for the last one minute

0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:47.200
<v Speaker 1>because your wife is going to replay this. UM. I

0:47:47.239 --> 0:47:49.160
<v Speaker 1>was on a zoom call last night with some of

0:47:49.200 --> 0:47:55.960
<v Speaker 1>my girlfriends. Here is your quarantine p s A. Husband's men, boyfriends,

0:47:56.640 --> 0:48:00.160
<v Speaker 1>We are not your maids. Put away your shoes, and

0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:03.239
<v Speaker 1>if you're up in the playroom, please clean as you

0:48:03.239 --> 0:48:06.320
<v Speaker 1>go so that we don't feel like the asshole moms

0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:09.600
<v Speaker 1>that have to come and clean and make them clean up.

0:48:09.680 --> 0:48:14.879
<v Speaker 1>So thank you. Have a great day. Go for it, dude. Yes,

0:48:17.440 --> 0:48:21.520
<v Speaker 1>So this is my quarantine face to all you wives

0:48:21.560 --> 0:48:29.279
<v Speaker 1>out there, girlfriends or significant others, to your men or partners, UM,

0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:37.880
<v Speaker 1>just remember, shut up, shut up, leave me alone. No

0:48:38.120 --> 0:48:43.120
<v Speaker 1>mine would be Remember that no one person's way is

0:48:43.480 --> 0:48:47.160
<v Speaker 1>the right way. Everyone does things differently and that's okay.

0:48:48.640 --> 0:48:54.759
<v Speaker 1>Oh snooze, snooze. No, just because we don't think do

0:48:54.920 --> 0:48:58.360
<v Speaker 1>things on your timeline or in the fashion of what

0:48:58.440 --> 0:49:03.640
<v Speaker 1>you do them doesn't mean it's incorrect. So have a

0:49:03.640 --> 0:49:07.480
<v Speaker 1>little have a little grace, cut us some slack, and

0:49:07.640 --> 0:49:10.919
<v Speaker 1>that is your p s A quarantine from Jana and Mike.

0:49:11.040 --> 0:49:14.280
<v Speaker 1>Have a good one. See you next week.