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Speaker 1: All right, buckle up and hold on tight. We got

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Speaker 1: it boy. You hear it eats the straw baby letter?

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Speaker 1: All right, subject, my parents are freaks. Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I made twenty seven year old college graduate and I

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Speaker 1: recently moved back in with my mother to save some

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Speaker 1: money and get my own place. My parents were high

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Speaker 1: school sweethearts, but they never got married. For over thirty years,

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Speaker 1: they've been hooking up whenever they were single. They go

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Speaker 1: on dates, vacations, and they had ten family gatherings, but

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Speaker 1: they refuse to get married. I've asked my dad why

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Speaker 1: he won't marry my mom, and he said, son, a

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Speaker 1: house is much better than an apartment, whatever that means.

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Speaker 1: My dad comes over to my mom's house all the time,

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Speaker 1: and watching the two of them is like watching softcore porn.

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Speaker 1: My dad grabs my mom's but when she walks by him,

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Speaker 1: and I've seen him pause a football game just so

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Speaker 1: he could watch my mom bending over while she was

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Speaker 1: mopping the floor. My dad was in a car accident

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Speaker 1: recently and had to stay in the hospital overnight. My

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Speaker 1: mom and I went to visit, and while I was

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Speaker 1: sitting there, my dad whispered to my mom, and then

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Speaker 1: he lifted his gown to show my mom that he

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Speaker 1: was ready, and they put me out of the room.

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Speaker 1: It is so embarrassing. And the final straw was when

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Speaker 1: I got when I caught them in the garage doing

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Speaker 1: the do in my dad's truck. I was traumatized, Mama,

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Speaker 1: but they thought I was traumatize, but they both thought

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Speaker 1: it was funny. I wish they'd stop acting like two

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Speaker 1: horny teenagers. I feel like I'm in their way, but

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Speaker 1: I have nowhere to go. I'm afraid to invite my

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Speaker 1: girlfriend over if my dad is around, because there's no

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Speaker 1: telling what they'll do. How can I get them to

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Speaker 1: stop it or at least respect me if I am

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Speaker 1: around them? It's disgusting? Please help? Well, I can tell

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Speaker 1: you my answer won't be very long. First of all,

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Speaker 1: you you, no one, and I mean no one wants

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Speaker 1: to see their parents getting busy like this. They do not.

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Speaker 1: I don't care where it is, if it's in the

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Speaker 1: house and he's touching your mom's but kids don't want

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Speaker 1: to see that. I mean, yeah, you would be a

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Speaker 1: little you would think you'd be a little discreet, and

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Speaker 1: they'd be a little mindful of you, But no they're not.

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Speaker 1: They just do it wherever whenever the spirit hits them

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Speaker 1: or the mood hits them, even in the hospital, the

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Speaker 1: spirit or the mood, yeah, or the mood. Anyway, the

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Speaker 1: best advice I can give you right now, mister twenty

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Speaker 1: seven year old who just graduated, is a hurry up

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Speaker 1: and get your coins together so you can move out

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Speaker 1: of your mom's house. Because it's her house. Things aren't

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Speaker 1: going to change. I think you know they were respecting

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Speaker 1: you when they went to the garage and did it

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Speaker 1: in the car, okay, because they could have done it

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Speaker 1: right there in the house like they've been doing it

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Speaker 1: all this time. So yeah, just hurry up. Let them

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Speaker 1: know that you're saving and you're you'll be getting out

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Speaker 1: soon so they can have at it. But um yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's my best advice to you is to go ahead

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Speaker 1: and get those coins together. Um uh. When your dad said, son,

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Speaker 1: a house is much better than an apartment, I don't

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Speaker 1: exactly know what he means. Maybe he's saying he prefers

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Speaker 1: to stay at his house. I don't know. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: to have his own. Then when you're in an apartment,

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Speaker 1: you're under someone else's rules, perhaps, right, Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I'm trying to make sense

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Speaker 1: of it. But um, anyway, maybe he just likes the

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Speaker 1: fact that he owns his own home and if he

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Speaker 1: comes to your mom's home, it'll be like being in

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Speaker 1: an apartment because he'll have to abide by her rules

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Speaker 1: or something. I don't know. But anyway, save your coin.

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Speaker 1: So you if you do want to watch softcore porn

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Speaker 1: or whatever, it won't be your parents. It'll be in

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Speaker 1: the comfort of your own home. But yeah, you gotta

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Speaker 1: get out of there because they're not making any any

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Speaker 1: excuses for what they're doing just because you're there. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't advise you necessarily. Well maybe if you brought

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend over, they might stop in front of her,

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Speaker 1: but you don't want to take that chance, now do you?

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Speaker 1: All right, Junior, but you got oh man, I'll tell

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Speaker 1: him this. Yo, Daddy my hero come, oh boy, I

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Speaker 1: want step your daddy when I get old. Oh all

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Speaker 1: the time, he said, it was like watching the softcore point.

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Speaker 1: You want some advice. When you see your daddy truck,

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Speaker 1: you better get your cockies because there go, it's about

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Speaker 1: to go down. I bet your daddy like to talk

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Speaker 1: soft to your mama and unbutton his shirt. Don't even

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Speaker 1: care if you're sitting down the cock. I'm about to

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Speaker 1: do this right now. If you ever seen your MoMA

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Speaker 1: and your daddy, you need to go ahead and just

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Speaker 1: go if they if they are putting you out of

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Speaker 1: hospital rooms. I wish I had a six cell Christ

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Speaker 1: could get son in the hospital. I wish I get

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Speaker 1: I actually get sick, go to the hospital and get

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Speaker 1: that is a dream of my dad. Gal. I've raised

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Speaker 1: that galn up to fo. He used the bathroom. That's

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Speaker 1: about all I've raised back out. Okay, that's it. I

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Speaker 1: still I wish your daddy is my hero. He's in

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Speaker 1: the hospital, medical equipment everywhere, and he is plugged up

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Speaker 1: to a heart monster. He got everything going on, blood

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Speaker 1: pressure getting checked, and it's some other pressures. Let's get checked.

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Speaker 1: I want to be your daddy. I want him to

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Speaker 1: be my hero. That is the best thing in the world.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine that? Get some tiling? No, I can't

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Speaker 1: get something. I can't imagine you can get my parents. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I want to be now. I've seen my parents before

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Speaker 1: and it is traumatized. My daddy said what you want,

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Speaker 1: but he didn't stop doing nothing. I kind my room

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Speaker 1: and cried, and my mama came in there, said, what's wrong, Sai,

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Speaker 1: y'all end up doing that nasty stuff, and this stuff

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Speaker 1: is in my mind. Why do I see the bottom

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Speaker 1: of your feet, Mama? I've never seen the bottom of

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Speaker 1: your feet? What is going on in here? Why? Why

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Speaker 1: is daddy hurting? I'm called a police. It is traumatized, yes,

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Speaker 1: it is. No one wants to see this. The twenty

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Speaker 1: seven year old college student recently moved back at home

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Speaker 1: with his mom. He wants to save some money so

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Speaker 1: he can get his own place. His parents were high

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Speaker 1: school sweethearts. They never got married, so over the past

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Speaker 1: thirty years they've been hooking up whenever they were single,

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Speaker 1: which implies they've been married. They've been in relationships before,

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Speaker 1: but whenever they're single or between relationships or marriages or whatever,

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Speaker 1: they hook up. They go on dates, they go on vacations,

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Speaker 1: they attend family gatherings together, but they still refuse to

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Speaker 1: get married. The son said. He asked his dad why

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Speaker 1: won't he marry his mom? And the dad said, son,

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Speaker 1: a house is much better than an apartment. Whatever that means.

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Speaker 1: He says his dad comes over to his mom's house

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Speaker 1: all the time, and he says watching them together as

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Speaker 1: like why watching soft porn? He says, my dad grabs

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Speaker 1: my mom's but when she walks by him, she says

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Speaker 1: she's seen him pause a football game just so he

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Speaker 1: could watch his mom bend over while she was mopping

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Speaker 1: the floor. Oh my goodness, he said. My dad was

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Speaker 1: in a car accident. He was in the hospital. He

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Speaker 1: lifted up his gown and let his mom know that

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Speaker 1: he was ready. They put the son out of the

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Speaker 1: hospital and he goes on and on. He caught him

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Speaker 1: in the garage and the dad's truck. I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is just a bit much for this son. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: no one wants to see their parents doing this they

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Speaker 1: he says, he wishes they would stop acting like two

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Speaker 1: horny teenagers. He's afraid to bring his girlfriend over because

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Speaker 1: he never knows what's going to happen if his dad

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Speaker 1: is there. He just thinks it's disgusting and he doesn't

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Speaker 1: think that his parents respect them. I don't think it's that.

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Speaker 1: I just think they think that they're grown and it's

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Speaker 1: their house and they can do whatever they want to do,

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Speaker 1: and whoever's there, you know, gets the benefit of that.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I think you know you should save your

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Speaker 1: coins and move out. Tommy. Ain't nobody gotta respect you

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Speaker 1: at day house, this day house. Ain't nobody gotta respect

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Speaker 1: you at their own house. Okay. So when you see

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Speaker 1: me naked, don't ask me what I'm doing. Why is

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Speaker 1: me and your mamma in the fireplace, because we're from

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Speaker 1: the woman up up in here. That's what we do. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Why me and your mom in the deep freezer, because

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Speaker 1: that's what we do. We got it on ice ice, Baby,

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Speaker 1: we're putting it down. And I'm gonna be just like

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Speaker 1: your daddy when you ask me, boy, ain't no state knife,

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Speaker 1: Ain't got nothing on the butter knife. You get me, boy, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something real stupid, like he said,

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Speaker 1: the house is much better than a pigeon. Can't touch

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Speaker 1: a chicken. You don't want to a pigeon can't touch

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Speaker 1: don't mean no damn I will boy, ain't track, can't

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Speaker 1: touch your album? You know what I'm saying. You got

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Speaker 1: to say stupid stuff. They are trying to sex you

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Speaker 1: out of their house. Yeah, they are. That's that's clear.

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Speaker 1: That's why I can put it. They're trying to sex

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Speaker 1: you out. Everybody wants you gone. You just don't see this, Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: you What you don't realize is they've been all that house.

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Speaker 1: If I was you, I wouldn't even sit on that couch.

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Speaker 1: Why I wouldn't even be on that couch about you.

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Speaker 1: They didn't been on that stove, they didn't been in

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Speaker 1: that oven. They've been all over the place. Yeah, surely

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Speaker 1: if you ain't never done at you all the track

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Speaker 1: with it on or on it on two fifty and

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Speaker 1: hold that dough, lay a blank across that dough, and

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Speaker 1: lay on that dough, and let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: You got some of the best love making you've never

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Speaker 1: had in your life, and put some biscuits on at

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Speaker 1: the same time, and got that biscuit smell coming through

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Speaker 1: that up And why are you laying there? Ye doing

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Speaker 1: what you do? And then your son passed through them.

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Speaker 1: Tell him something, boy, turtle, there ain't got nothing, wife, beautile?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean? Don't worry about it. I was

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Speaker 1: just random, just just random random. But the guy did

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Speaker 1: say a house is much better than apartment, And what

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Speaker 1: does that mean, make sense round me. We're trying to

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Speaker 1: sex you out of here. You gon yourself. Okay, you

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Speaker 1: don't understand what we'd be doing. You ain't here. That's

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Speaker 1: why we be in the garage. Were always in the

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Speaker 1: garage that we're doing in there a lot. We'll be

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Speaker 1: in my car. He's called my trunks. Back of the

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Speaker 1: bed of the truth, the trunk. Yeah, if you ain't

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Speaker 1: never done it in a trunk, I feel sorry for you.

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Speaker 1: Ain't live yet. Oh wow, I've been the attic where

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Speaker 1: it's kind of hot up there. Or you got to

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Speaker 1: be careful and step on the right board. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to slip a fire. You'll come through the roof,

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Speaker 1: you understand, go up and dangerous, that's that dangerous love, Yeah, dangerous,

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Speaker 1: but you won't. I want to be careful. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to die. And then you know, every ain't going

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Speaker 1: your kids room while they're at school. You ever been

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Speaker 1: in a bunk bed. You ain't been in a bunk

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Speaker 1: bad on the top, Yeah, yeah, and that but but

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Speaker 1: but but the rocks so much that the latter them fail.

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Speaker 1: And that's terrible. Now, y'all, just two button naked people

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Speaker 1: stranded in the and it's yeah, it's two thirty five.

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Speaker 1: That bus coming three fifteen. You don't understand what you're

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Speaker 1: dealing with us. Now, we got to decide which one't

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Speaker 1: gonna jump, who's gonna jump? And put the lader back up.

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Speaker 1: Y'all ain't done this if they coming in and catch it.

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Speaker 1: This in boy a prayer, ain't got nothing on the natural.

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Speaker 1: Ain't nothing like being on the porch at night when

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Speaker 1: everybody you know in the neighborhood kind of sleeping and

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Speaker 1: the lights it down out there on your front porch, naked,

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Speaker 1: y'all doing it out there on the front porch. Why not?

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Speaker 1: Why what you want to do it in the back?

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Speaker 1: No back porch, front porch? Go out, go out in

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Speaker 1: the yard some time. And why you can't walk around?

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Speaker 1: What you pay for any He says he wishes that

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Speaker 1: his parents would stop acting like two, and they wish

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't move. That's what we want to do the

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Speaker 1: rest of our life. We want to do it without you.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. Bring your girl girlfriend when you

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Speaker 1: educate a real quick. All right, listen, we gotta get

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Speaker 1: out of here. Email us or instagram us your thoughts

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Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show