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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Michael Up, hold on tight, we

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Speaker 2: got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: All right, nephew, thank you. Subject, it is a problem

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Speaker 1: when I do it. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm sick of

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Speaker 1: my husband controlling stuff when it comes to me and

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Speaker 1: my happiness. But he never deprives himself of anything, not

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Speaker 1: even other women. We've been together for seven years and

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Speaker 1: married for four years. He paid off all three of

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Speaker 1: my major credit cards, and we got a credit card

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Speaker 1: together that we plan to use for trips and major purchases.

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Speaker 1: He has been ordering limited edition Jordan's on the card

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Speaker 1: whenever he wants to, but if I use the card

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Speaker 1: to order, hey, he has a fit. My hair is

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Speaker 1: just as important, if not more important, than the latest shoes.

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Speaker 1: He tries to justify everything if it's something he wants.

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Speaker 1: He always compares me to women on TV and pictures

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Speaker 1: on social media. He thinks he's being helpful if he

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Speaker 1: tells me that I should visit a popular dermatologist that

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Speaker 1: he saw on social media. If I ask him what's

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Speaker 1: wrong with my face, he says that he didn't mean

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Speaker 1: any harm. One day, I decided to pay him back,

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Speaker 1: and I pointed out a man that had a big,

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Speaker 1: huge bulge, big bulge in the front of his khakis.

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Speaker 1: I told my husband he should ask the guy what

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Speaker 1: kind of pants he was wearing, because they fit him

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Speaker 1: very nicely. My husband said that I was implying that

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Speaker 1: he was a small man down there and his feelings

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Speaker 1: were so hurt. He can't take it when I treat

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Speaker 1: him as bad as he treats me. I've found screenshots

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Speaker 1: of other women saved on his phone, and he talks

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Speaker 1: to his female friends in my presence, although we had

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Speaker 1: agreed that we shouldn't talk to our old friends of

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Speaker 1: the opposite sex. He does so many other things that

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Speaker 1: prove that our marriage is one sided. He said, he's

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Speaker 1: the king, but this queen has had enough. Why is

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Speaker 1: my husband so comfortable doing what he wants to do

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Speaker 1: because he just is. That's all I mean. He's a

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Speaker 1: typical dish it but can't take it type person. He's

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Speaker 1: living in his perfect world and he thinks he's too

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Speaker 1: good to deal with your flaws. In other words, he's

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Speaker 1: too busy criticizing you to see himself in a different

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Speaker 1: lighter to get himself together. He's playing a dangerous game, though,

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Speaker 1: because his ego is very fragile. We know that fragile egos,

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Speaker 1: they can't take it when you he can't definitely take it.

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Speaker 1: When you mentioned the other man's pants and how good

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Speaker 1: the other man looked in them, he was crushed by that.

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Speaker 1: He was crushed. But I got to tell you that

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Speaker 1: this tit for tat stuff that you guys are doing,

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Speaker 1: it could get really, really ugly. And I can't understand

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Speaker 1: how you let this go this far. You guys have

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Speaker 1: known each other for seven years, married for four, especially

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Speaker 1: the cheating. You wrote it like you know, it was

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Speaker 1: so matter of factly. After seven years of marriage, I

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Speaker 1: think you should be able to say anything and everything

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Speaker 1: to your husband, you know, including exactly how you feel

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Speaker 1: about his criticisms and put downs.

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Speaker 3: Steve, Wow, this whole letter to me is about a

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Speaker 3: person who doesn't and understand their power, because I want

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Speaker 3: to encourage women, and a lot of women don't need

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Speaker 3: what I'm about to say because they do it anyway.

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Speaker 3: But you got to understand your power. The subject is

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Speaker 3: this problem when I do it. This lady said that

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Speaker 3: she's sick of her husband controlling everything when it comes

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Speaker 3: to me and my happiness. But he don't deprive self

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Speaker 3: of any gun, not even other women.

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Speaker 2: Now, let's stop right here.

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Speaker 3: He don't deprive himself of nothing, not even other women.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 3: I was really expecting to hear more in this letter

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Speaker 3: about that, because that's like crazy that you married but

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Speaker 3: you don't have to deprive yourself of other women. I'm

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Speaker 3: very interested in this theory, very interested in knowing more

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Speaker 3: about this, because how does this work? We being together

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Speaker 3: seven married for folk, paid off all three of my

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Speaker 3: major credit cards, and y'all got a credit card together

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Speaker 3: that were planning on using for trips and major purchases.

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Speaker 3: All right, But he been ordering limited edition Jordan's on

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Speaker 3: the card whenever he wants. But if I use the

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Speaker 3: card to order hair, he gotta fit. My hair is

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Speaker 3: just as important, if not more important. Than the latest shoe.

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Speaker 3: Let's stop right here. I must agree you have my full,

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Speaker 3: undivided one support. Hair is way more important than some Jordan's, right,

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Speaker 3: Ain't no doubt about it.

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Speaker 2: I ain't seen no Jordan's look better than a woman's hair.

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Speaker 1: I ain't seen the pair yet.

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Speaker 3: Now I must uh what you say when you are clarify,

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Speaker 3: I want to love, stipulate, point out, reate, reiterate, org

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Speaker 3: say this with the stipulation, I don't know the proper

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Speaker 3: word to use. And the dude that's listening to the

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Speaker 3: show that criticizes me, you know, I don't know what

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Speaker 3: the word is.

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Speaker 2: So he it is.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I don't own a single pair of Jordan's.

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Speaker 2: Let me just put that out there. I don't have any.

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Speaker 3: Hair, so I have I'm not biased, yeah, in any way,

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Speaker 3: I ain't got no Jordan's and I ain't got no hair,

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Speaker 3: so I am totally totally impartial to this letter. But

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Speaker 3: I must agree that if I had to pick Jordan's

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Speaker 3: a half dog going it, I'm gonna have some hell,

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Speaker 3: and especially on my woman.

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Speaker 2: So let's just get.

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Speaker 3: That out the way and we'll be back with how

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Speaker 3: I really feel about this letter.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Steve will have part two of your

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Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters subject it's the problem when I do it.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: to Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 3: You can't let the urge to sing your favorite songs

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Speaker 3: while you're driving distract you from that truck drifting toward

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Speaker 3: your lane or that lane splitting biker creeping up beside you. Fortunately,

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Speaker 3: every Honday offers advanced safety features that can alert you

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Speaker 3: to potential dangers around you.

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Speaker 4: That's right, because Hondai is always working to ensure the

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Speaker 4: road doesn't get you. Hondai vehicles have won over one

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Speaker 4: hundred and twenty iih's top safety awards from two thousand

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Speaker 4: and six to twenty twenty four as of December twenty

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Speaker 4: twenty four.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: the subject it's a problem when I do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a problem.

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Speaker 3: It is a problem when you do it because you're

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Speaker 3: not exacting your power here.

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Speaker 2: Alright, I'm explaining this to you.

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Speaker 3: Your husband is controlling y'all, got your credit cards paid?

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Speaker 2: Off your big three major cars.

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Speaker 3: Y'all got one credit card together, decided y'all was gonna

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Speaker 3: take trips and do major purchases together.

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Speaker 2: He doing on the car what he wanted to do.

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Speaker 3: You order the latest unlimited Jordan's all the time, and

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Speaker 3: you ain't got a problem with that. But then when

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Speaker 3: you order hair, he got a problem with that. You

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Speaker 3: saying your hair is just as important. I agree with

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Speaker 3: you now to let you know how impartial I am

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Speaker 3: in this letter. Let's be clear about this. Let me

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Speaker 3: set this straight for the record, so you know I'm

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Speaker 3: not on one side or the other. I ain't got

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Speaker 3: no Jordan's and I ain't got no.

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Speaker 1: Hair, So he's straight down the middle of Ooh, I.

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Speaker 3: Can speak on it. I think the hair is more

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Speaker 3: important now. He tries to justify everything if it's important

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Speaker 3: to something that he wants. He always compares me to

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Speaker 3: women on TV and pictures on social media. He thinks

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Speaker 3: he's being helpful if he tells me I should visit

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Speaker 3: a popular dermatologist that he saw on social media, Well,

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Speaker 3: why don't you flip it? Why don't you carry your

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Speaker 3: little bumpy face down there too, because I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 3: your skin is more smooth than here. See you not

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Speaker 3: exacting your power. Now, he said something in this letter.

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Speaker 3: Let me just go to the last line and then

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Speaker 3: read this letter. The last line, he says, he is

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Speaker 3: the king. That's why he doing what he want to do.

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Speaker 3: But you're saying, but his queen has had enough. Why

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Speaker 3: is my husband so comfortable doing what he wants to do?

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Speaker 3: Because you ask the queen, are not exacting your power? Lady,

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Speaker 3: if you understood the game of chest a little bit,

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Speaker 3: maybe you can understand where I'm coming from. The most

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Speaker 3: powerful peace on the board is the queen. When you

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Speaker 3: lose your queen, you're making the game hard on you.

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Speaker 3: You can still be the king, but you don't have

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Speaker 3: the ultimate protector because the queen is gone. The queen

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Speaker 3: can move parallel, well horizontal. The queen can move diagonally.

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Speaker 3: Can the queen move diagonal? Now I'm not diagon A

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Speaker 3: queen can move, yeah, a queen can move diagonal.

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Speaker 2: A queen can move parallel, horizontal, vertical.

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Speaker 3: A queen can move forward back, which she can capture

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Speaker 3: in any direction. That's the only piece on the board

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Speaker 3: that has that power. Because the queen is the most

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Speaker 3: powerful piece on the board. You since to have given

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Speaker 3: up your power, so you let him tell you he

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Speaker 3: the king, but without the.

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Speaker 2: Queen, his chances of winning are hampered.

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Speaker 3: You need your power back. He compares you to women

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Speaker 3: on TV and pictures on social media. Then go get

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Speaker 3: you one of you.

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Speaker 2: See, I'm gonna teach you how to talk like a queen.

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Speaker 2: He thinks he's being helpful.

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Speaker 3: He tempts you, tell me all to visit the popular

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Speaker 3: dermatologists he saw on TV. Eat you take your bumpy

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Speaker 3: face down there too, And he always comparing you to

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Speaker 3: women on TV and social media. Bring up one of them.

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Speaker 3: Help us one more time and see what happened to you.

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Speaker 3: Then you decided to pay him back. One day you

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Speaker 3: showed a man that had a big bulge in front

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Speaker 3: of his khakis. I told my husband he should have

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Speaker 3: asked that guy what kind of pants he's wearing, because

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Speaker 3: it fit him very nicely. My husband said, I was

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Speaker 3: implying that he's a small man down there, and.

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Speaker 2: His feelings were so hurt. The truth hurts.

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Speaker 3: Going to church hurts sometimes, especially when you think that

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Speaker 3: the sermon is about you. Then you asked the queen

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Speaker 3: should have said, well, I ain't saying you small, but

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Speaker 3: you ain't him though, ah swinging thinking, oh yes, switchy, twitchy,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, get it, got it. You gotta start acting

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Speaker 3: like the queen. You got to let him know you

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Speaker 3: got some moves too. My husband said that I was

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Speaker 3: applying that he's a man down there and this fields hurt.

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Speaker 3: He can't take it when I treat him as bad

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Speaker 3: as he treats me. Stop accepting bad treatment, Ladies, I

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Speaker 3: say this to you all the time. You can train

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Speaker 3: a man how to treat you. All you got to

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Speaker 3: do is stop accepting bad behavior. Martin Luther King said,

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Speaker 3: a man can't ride your back like unless you bend over.

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Speaker 3: Stop bending over? What's wrong with you? You're the queen. I

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Speaker 3: found screenshots of other women saved on his phone. Take

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Speaker 3: his phone, take the SIM card out, throw it in

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Speaker 3: the fireplace, crack the phone and give it back to him.

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Speaker 3: And you know why you did that, because I'm tired

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Speaker 3: of seeing these other women on your phone. That gets

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Speaker 3: you a better phone than ain't got all.

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Speaker 2: These women on this one, Okay, And.

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Speaker 3: Then show him your phone.

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Speaker 1: What's on her phone?

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Speaker 2: Men?

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Speaker 1: Men?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, pictures of men muscular because he he ain't all

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Speaker 3: that I'm tell you that right now, he talks to

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Speaker 3: female friends in my presence. See you letting too much happen. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're allowing too much to happen. You're not talking nobody

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Speaker 3: in my face. What is wrong with you? You don't

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Speaker 3: command no respect, demand no respect, So you gets no respect.

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Speaker 3: When are you gonna start commanding and demanding. I'm telling

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Speaker 3: you you have to exact your power as a queen, period.

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Speaker 3: And we agree that we shouldn't talk to our old

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Speaker 3: friends of the opposite second, all right, he said, he

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Speaker 3: the king and I'm the queen.

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Speaker 2: When you're gonna act.

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Speaker 1: Like Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show