WEBVTT - Fix Your Focus

0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick.

0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:05.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast.

0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:07.800
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to thank you for joining us today.

0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.719
<v Speaker 1>Hope this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.

0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:12.880
<v Speaker 2>Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving

0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:18.159
<v Speaker 2>in your life. Enjoy the message, and I feel so

0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.880
<v Speaker 2>energized about this new teaching series called The Other Half.

0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:26.360
<v Speaker 2>We're going to talk about your relationships. How many are

0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:31.080
<v Speaker 2>excited to talk about your relationships?

0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.880
<v Speaker 1>Take a moment if you wouldn't pity me? Would you

0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:36.360
<v Speaker 1>pity me?

0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Because how would you like to speak about relationships

0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:43.440
<v Speaker 2>to a room this diverse?

0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:49.600
<v Speaker 1>Would you enjoy that? You want to trade places? Because

0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:50.600
<v Speaker 1>I know, I know I've.

0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Been doing this a while now. I know I look

0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:55.680
<v Speaker 2>twenty three, but I've been doing this for a minute,

0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:59.040
<v Speaker 2>and I know everybody has a different kind of reaction.

0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.600
<v Speaker 2>We're going to talk about relationships four weeks and then

0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:03.240
<v Speaker 2>some people say, well, i'll see you in five.

0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:05.080
<v Speaker 1>Am I sending through that?

0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.360
<v Speaker 2>You know? Because really, really they do. Some people have

0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:14.840
<v Speaker 2>been through painful, terribly painful relationship situations, and you almost

0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.120
<v Speaker 2>think you can predict what the preacher might have to

0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.800
<v Speaker 2>say about relationships before he even says it. So single

0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:25.280
<v Speaker 2>people are already judging me before I even start my sermon.

0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:31.160
<v Speaker 1>Hear me gown okay, and then they tell me to wait,

0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:33.279
<v Speaker 1>wait for the one.

0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:38.559
<v Speaker 2>Then i'm you know, and if i'm if he hasn't

0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.479
<v Speaker 2>come in my life yet, I'm not ready.

0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.119
<v Speaker 1>And though my roommate was totally less ready than me.

0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:49.040
<v Speaker 3>She I don't say anything about you know, tell me

0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:51.400
<v Speaker 3>not to have sex and sex and when you get

0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:56.800
<v Speaker 3>a disease and go to hell and I die.

0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:02.720
<v Speaker 2>But what I'm gonna do, I'm going to go straight

0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:07.480
<v Speaker 2>to the Bible, and then if you don't like what

0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.840
<v Speaker 2>I have to say, you can take.

0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.880
<v Speaker 1>It up with my boss, turning your Bible.

0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:17.639
<v Speaker 2>To Matthew chapter six, verse thirty one. And we want

0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:21.440
<v Speaker 2>to get into this series today called the Other Half.

0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.800
<v Speaker 2>If I were to ask you the question are you

0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:30.480
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship and your hand didn't go up, you

0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:33.480
<v Speaker 2>misunderstand the very nature of what we intend to communicate.

0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:38.720
<v Speaker 2>This series is for everyone. Would you touch your neighbor

0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:46.800
<v Speaker 2>and say this is totally for you.

0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.880
<v Speaker 1>When we do it, we'll talk a little bit about.

0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:48.560
<v Speaker 2>If you're married, that's important, but there is half of

0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.160
<v Speaker 2>the church that isn't married. Statistics say half of marriages

0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:51.840
<v Speaker 2>and in divorce.

0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:53.600
<v Speaker 1>And let's be honest.

0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:57.160
<v Speaker 2>If we don't have our relationship with God right, our

0:02:57.200 --> 0:03:01.000
<v Speaker 2>relationship with ourself right, we're never gonna have our relationship

0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:05.320
<v Speaker 2>with others. Right. So I hope you'll just listen with

0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:10.360
<v Speaker 2>an open mind today and let me pick up in

0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Matthew chapter six, verse thirty one. I'm probably partial to

0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.840
<v Speaker 2>this scripture. My dad loved the Sermon on the Mount

0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.840
<v Speaker 2>and he would read it every morning. So he challenged

0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:21.680
<v Speaker 2>me to memorize. And I memorize some of it, but

0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.000
<v Speaker 2>he memorized the whole thing. I didn't memorize the whole thing.

0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.680
<v Speaker 2>But I like this part in Matthew chapter six, verse

0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:29.560
<v Speaker 2>thirty one. And I never really saw it as a

0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:31.040
<v Speaker 2>relationship scripture.

0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.920
<v Speaker 1>But now that I read it in this season of

0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:35.560
<v Speaker 1>my life, I.

0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:41.240
<v Speaker 2>See that it's nothing if not a relationship scripture. It

0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.680
<v Speaker 2>is all about intimacy and provision. And you'll see what

0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean. Jesus speaking says, so do not worry saying

0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:52.880
<v Speaker 2>what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or

0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:57.360
<v Speaker 2>what shall we wear? For the pagans, people who don't

0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:01.760
<v Speaker 2>even know God run after all these things, and your

0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:05.160
<v Speaker 2>heavenly Father knows that you need them.

0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:08.240
<v Speaker 1>Somebody, say God knows what I need.

0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.000
<v Speaker 2>And tell your neighbor too, in case they've been staying

0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:13.160
<v Speaker 2>up stressing about things that are outside of their control.

0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Tell them God knows what you need. God knows what

0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:20.640
<v Speaker 2>you need. And that's a good thing to say. Anytime

0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.720
<v Speaker 2>in your life you feel like that you don't have enough,

0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.279
<v Speaker 2>or you don't have what you want, or you don't

0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:27.159
<v Speaker 2>have what others have, just remind yourself over and over

0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:30.560
<v Speaker 2>again that God knows what I need.

0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:31.280
<v Speaker 1>Now.

0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes the reason that we can't receive his provision in

0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:36.760
<v Speaker 2>some areas of our life is because we don't have

0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:41.480
<v Speaker 2>our priorities aligned. And sometimes what we interpret as a

0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.960
<v Speaker 2>lack of provision on God's part is a lack of

0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:49.159
<v Speaker 2>prioritization on ours. Can I go further, so, he says,

0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:53.880
<v Speaker 2>seek first thirty three his kingdom and his righteousness, and

0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:59.120
<v Speaker 2>all these things will be given to you as well.

0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:02.200
<v Speaker 2>God says, when you align your heart with my heart

0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.520
<v Speaker 2>and your plans with my purposes, I will give you

0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:07.920
<v Speaker 2>the things that the rest of the world has to

0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.800
<v Speaker 2>grasp for. I will give you the peace that millionaires

0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:15.320
<v Speaker 2>can't buy, I will give you. Come on, somebody, Every

0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.480
<v Speaker 2>good and perfect gift comes from above. And because I'm

0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:20.359
<v Speaker 2>in relationship with God, I have access to everything that

0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I need to be who He's called me to be,

0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:24.839
<v Speaker 2>to do what He's called me to do. And so

0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:29.080
<v Speaker 2>knowing these things, I seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,

0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:34.040
<v Speaker 2>and all these other factors will be taken care.

0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Of by my father.

0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean, sometimes when I'm preaching, I just get into

0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:43.200
<v Speaker 2>it myself and I forget you there. Therefore, therefore, do

0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:48.640
<v Speaker 2>not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:54.360
<v Speaker 2>Each day has trouble of its own. Now, the people

0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.240
<v Speaker 2>that wrote the scriptures didn't put a chapter marker here,

0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.359
<v Speaker 2>so I'm going to keep going on in chapter seven

0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.200
<v Speaker 2>because it says here that this is a new chapter.

0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:03.400
<v Speaker 1>But to me, it's the same thought.

0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.560
<v Speaker 2>And this verse that comes next, this is the verse

0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:09.679
<v Speaker 2>that everybody who smokes weed likes to quote. Do not judge,

0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:16.040
<v Speaker 2>or you too will be judged, for in the same

0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.240
<v Speaker 2>way you judge others, I just woke them up uptown.

0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:23.040
<v Speaker 1>In the same way you judge others, you will be judged.

0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.120
<v Speaker 2>And with the measure you use, it will be measured

0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:28.600
<v Speaker 2>to you. Why you look at the speck of sawdust

0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.359
<v Speaker 2>in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the

0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:32.640
<v Speaker 2>plank in your own eye? How can you say to

0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:36.159
<v Speaker 2>your brother, or your wife, or your husband, whoever, your boss,

0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.200
<v Speaker 2>your kid, how can you say, let me take the

0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.159
<v Speaker 2>speck out of your eye. Well, all the time there's

0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.800
<v Speaker 2>a plank in your own eye. You hypocrite, First the

0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:48.120
<v Speaker 2>plank out your own eye, then you will see clearly

0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:50.680
<v Speaker 2>to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:52.839
<v Speaker 1>Do not give dogs what is sacred.

0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm speaking to somebody right now who is selling yourself

0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:02.080
<v Speaker 2>short and lowering and compromising. Your Jesus said, do not

0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:08.800
<v Speaker 2>throw your pearls to pigs. Maybe you need to send

0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:11.160
<v Speaker 2>a text to that guy before you leave church today

0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.720
<v Speaker 2>and say, give me my pearls back. Don't even explain

0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:16.480
<v Speaker 2>it or put a verse by it, but you'll know

0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:21.680
<v Speaker 2>what it means. If you do, they may trample them

0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.280
<v Speaker 2>under their feet and turn in tear you to pieces.

0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll finish with verse seven, because we got to stop somewhere.

0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:35.560
<v Speaker 2>Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and

0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:40.800
<v Speaker 2>you will find. Knock and the door will be opened

0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:45.280
<v Speaker 2>to you. I want to call this message fix your Focus,

0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.040
<v Speaker 2>because I believe that the only thing you are ever

0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:53.560
<v Speaker 2>always in control of is your focus. So many factors

0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:58.560
<v Speaker 2>in your life are beyond your control, but one thing

0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:01.680
<v Speaker 2>you can always control, if you learn how to do it,

0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:06.240
<v Speaker 2>and if you're committed to it, is your focus. I

0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:10.120
<v Speaker 2>think that many relationships fail not because of a loss

0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:15.640
<v Speaker 2>of love, but because of a loss of focus. That

0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.200
<v Speaker 2>would be one of the reasons that a church fails

0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:22.160
<v Speaker 2>as well, while we're at it.

0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:22.680
<v Speaker 1>Is that you lose your focus.

0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:29.040
<v Speaker 2>When you stop caring about what God cares about, God

0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:34.080
<v Speaker 2>will no longer back you in your endeavor. And so

0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:38.360
<v Speaker 2>sometimes what we call failure is really just.

0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:40.800
<v Speaker 1>Broken focus.

0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.920
<v Speaker 2>It's the reason why the passion that exists in some

0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:50.760
<v Speaker 2>parts of relationships when it's getting started, tends to leak,

0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.400
<v Speaker 2>and you wonder where it went. It wasn't necessarily that

0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:57.880
<v Speaker 2>you lost the love. You lost the focus. It's very

0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:03.000
<v Speaker 2>difficult to keep that first love focus in any relationship.

0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:06.080
<v Speaker 2>I think Jesus is calling us back to focus. If

0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:08.520
<v Speaker 2>you'll notice the bread on the sandwich from the little

0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.280
<v Speaker 2>passage that we just read, Both of them start with

0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.160
<v Speaker 2>seeking seek first, his kingdom, ask and it will be

0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.439
<v Speaker 2>given to you. Seek and you will find on both

0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:20.680
<v Speaker 2>ends of this passage where Jesus is speaking on several

0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:28.160
<v Speaker 2>different subjects. Is this idea of focus, especially in our culture.

0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I think the focus when it comes to our relationship

0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:34.679
<v Speaker 2>tends to be a little broken. When I say that

0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:40.599
<v Speaker 2>it's broken, I mean that it's misplaced and misleading. Sometimes

0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:42.360
<v Speaker 2>we're so focused.

0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.120
<v Speaker 1>On falling in love.

0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:48.640
<v Speaker 2>That we are very uneducated about the process of staying

0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:52.520
<v Speaker 2>in love. Talk to me anytime you want to. And

0:09:53.760 --> 0:10:01.319
<v Speaker 2>there's a romantic notion that is reinforce with every romantic

0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:06.439
<v Speaker 2>comedy that the falling part is where the excitement is.

0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:09.079
<v Speaker 2>I was looking at an article getting ready for this

0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:13.880
<v Speaker 2>series where the author said there's a reason that fairy

0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:18.040
<v Speaker 2>tales end in marriage because nobody wants to see what

0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:23.480
<v Speaker 2>happens next. Nobody wants to talk about the other half.

0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.720
<v Speaker 2>So today, as I open this series, and it really

0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:28.760
<v Speaker 2>will get better every week, I hope that you'll bear

0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:30.800
<v Speaker 2>with me today as I lay a sort of foundation.

0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.200
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about four decisions of focus that

0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:37.120
<v Speaker 2>you are making every area in your life. And I

0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.199
<v Speaker 2>know that some of you should be teaching the marriage

0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.200
<v Speaker 2>seminar all of you patron saints of marriage, been doing

0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.679
<v Speaker 2>it thirty and forty years and all of that. I'm

0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:46.960
<v Speaker 2>not quite on your level yet. I just celebrated my

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:53.839
<v Speaker 2>fourteenth year. And while somebody's clapping for that, somebody else's.

0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:59.840
<v Speaker 1>Life ain't nothing married longer than you've been alive.

0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.559
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna let some whip or snapper and some skinny

0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.040
<v Speaker 2>motocross jeans talk to me.

0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:11.319
<v Speaker 1>Type Jens up here trying to tell me how you

0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:11.760
<v Speaker 1>married it.

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:21.720
<v Speaker 2>But regardless of the stage of the relationship, it requires

0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.319
<v Speaker 2>a certain kind of focus. That's all I want to

0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.240
<v Speaker 2>talk about today. So I want to lay out four areas.

0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:27.760
<v Speaker 2>I want you to take notice. Everybody write something down.

0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:29.439
<v Speaker 2>If you never written, write anything down because they don't

0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:32.679
<v Speaker 2>love God and don't care about his word. Now watch this.

0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.559
<v Speaker 2>The first area you got to decide. You got to

0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.360
<v Speaker 2>decide your focus. Because you can always decide your focus.

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:37.959
<v Speaker 2>You can't always decide about all the factors. You can't

0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:39.679
<v Speaker 2>always decide if somebody's gonna stay with you or leave.

0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:41.440
<v Speaker 2>You can't always decide if somebody's gonna ask you out.

0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:42.880
<v Speaker 2>You can always deide if they're gonna to tuch a back,

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.320
<v Speaker 2>but you can always decide your focus. So is your

0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:49.920
<v Speaker 2>focus number one on finding or becoming?

0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 1>Finding or becoming?

0:11:56.240 --> 0:12:00.800
<v Speaker 2>Jesus said, seek first the kingdom and the others we'll

0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:05.080
<v Speaker 2>move into position. But if you seek first the other stuff,

0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.280
<v Speaker 2>then you will have no center of gravity for the

0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 2>stuff to revolve around. So it's important that your focus

0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:14.760
<v Speaker 2>is not I've been teaching this for years, man. I

0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:16.560
<v Speaker 2>used to go around to youth camps and I would

0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:18.920
<v Speaker 2>teach dating seminar and I would say, you know, it's

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:20.640
<v Speaker 2>not an original quote from me, but I'll say it

0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 2>all the time because I think it's true. Happiness isn't

0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:27.880
<v Speaker 2>finding the right person. Happiness is being the right person.

0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 2>I'll take it further, since your applause is so tepid.

0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.960
<v Speaker 2>If you find the right person and you are not

0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.839
<v Speaker 2>the right person, what do you think you're going to

0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:44.959
<v Speaker 2>do to that poor right person? Now, I'm not suggesting, please,

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not suggesting that if you're not married or something

0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.559
<v Speaker 2>like that is because you're not ready yet. Because all

0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.480
<v Speaker 2>we have to do to disprove that stupid theory is

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:55.160
<v Speaker 2>to look at some of the people who are married.

0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:58.600
<v Speaker 1>So mary doesn't equal ready.

0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I could offer you many examples of that, starting

0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:07.120
<v Speaker 2>with myself. But what I am saying is that it

0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.520
<v Speaker 2>is important to God. It as important to God that

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.000
<v Speaker 2>you have the right people in your life. But the

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:14.560
<v Speaker 2>only way you're going to have the right people in

0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:16.439
<v Speaker 2>your life is if you will be the right person

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.079
<v Speaker 2>in your heart. That's the only way. That's the only

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:21.760
<v Speaker 2>way you're even going to attract them to begin with.

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 1>And that's the only thing you can control.

0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.680
<v Speaker 2>I can always can control whether this person comes into

0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:28.400
<v Speaker 2>my life, but I can control the kind of person

0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.640
<v Speaker 2>that I am. You know how you have little memories

0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.280
<v Speaker 2>from your childhood that are so random that you wonder

0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.520
<v Speaker 2>how they're still up there from all these years, and

0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.240
<v Speaker 2>you kind of wish you could delete them, because honestly,

0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:40.559
<v Speaker 2>you need that space for more important things like your

0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.840
<v Speaker 2>children's names and stuff that you forget sometimes. But I

0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 2>have a memory. I don't know why. I remember in

0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.200
<v Speaker 2>sixth grade they gave us the Berkeley County Writing Test.

0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:51.719
<v Speaker 1>I remember the prompt of the.

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 2>Berkeley County Writing Test when I was in the sixth grade,

0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:57.400
<v Speaker 2>almost word for word. Pretend that you are on an adventure,

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.000
<v Speaker 2>or they called it a journey with your friend, and

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.160
<v Speaker 2>on this adventure, or journey.

0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.040
<v Speaker 1>You come across a.

0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:09.720
<v Speaker 2>Valuable, unusual object, describe the object. A couple weeks later,

0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.800
<v Speaker 2>the teacher walked in with all of our writing tests

0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 2>and made an announcement.

0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 1>She said, I've never had this happen.

0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 2>Before in however many years of teaching, but every single

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.520
<v Speaker 2>one of you failed the Berkeley County writing test.

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 1>We laughed. She said, it's not a joke.

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 2>She said.

0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:31.840
<v Speaker 1>You wrote beautiful essays. You went into.

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Great detail elaborating on the journey with your friends, but

0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.840
<v Speaker 2>that was not the writing prompt. The writing prompt was

0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:41.360
<v Speaker 2>not to describe the journey. The writing prompt was to

0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:45.560
<v Speaker 2>describe the object. All of you wrote essays about walking

0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.560
<v Speaker 2>through the woods with your friends. Some of you traveled

0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.560
<v Speaker 2>across the seas with your friends. Some of you flew

0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 2>through space with your friends. It was highly entertaining, but

0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.680
<v Speaker 2>none of you described the object.

0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:02.560
<v Speaker 1>The object of relationship, the.

0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:08.680
<v Speaker 2>Object of love, is not that somebody else would complete you.

0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, Renee Zellwegger, but you got it wrong. Your

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:20.080
<v Speaker 2>line was touching. It just wasn't true. Jerry didn't complete

0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 2>you touch your neighbors. Say you can't complete me. Say

0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.600
<v Speaker 2>we teach this stuff no wonder are single people cut

0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.560
<v Speaker 2>their fists up ready to fight me when I want

0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.960
<v Speaker 2>to preach about marriage, because the way we preach.

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:35.920
<v Speaker 1>It and teach it, we teach it like until you

0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:39.040
<v Speaker 1>get married, your life hasn't started. I only got one

0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.120
<v Speaker 1>question to ask you. If that's true, how can you

0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:43.160
<v Speaker 1>worship Jesus.

0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 2>We worship a.

0:15:50.720 --> 0:16:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Guy who stayed single till they killed him, saying you

0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 1>have to stay single and to be like Jesus. I'm

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.120
<v Speaker 1>like hypocritic to say that, but I'm saying. I'm saying

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:06.400
<v Speaker 1>if Paul would have.

0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.280
<v Speaker 2>Waited to fulfill his purpose until he had somebody to

0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.800
<v Speaker 2>complete him, we wouldn't.

0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Have twenty three percent of a New Testament. And we

0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.000
<v Speaker 1>teach it wrong. We teach it wrong. I've taught it wrong.

0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 1>We teach it wrong.

0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 2>In the Book of Genesis, God's describing marriage. You talking

0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.000
<v Speaker 2>about Adam, and even he says that you know, the

0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 2>man shall leave his father and mother and go be

0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:29.480
<v Speaker 2>with his wife, and it says that the two will

0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 2>become one.

0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:32.200
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you what it doesn't say.

0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't say the halves will become whole. But yet

0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:41.720
<v Speaker 2>we teach it and we treat it, and we expected

0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:46.240
<v Speaker 2>like the halves are gonna become whole. But I found

0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.600
<v Speaker 2>out if you go into a marriage half the two halves.

0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Are gonna make hell, not whole.

0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:54.560
<v Speaker 2>It's great preaching, Pastor seen it.

0:16:56.320 --> 0:17:02.240
<v Speaker 1>That's very true, Pastor. So what is your focus?

0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:04.479
<v Speaker 2>Eric, my best my best friend world is here. I mean,

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Holly is my best friend, but this is my best

0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:09.679
<v Speaker 2>my best friend. This is a guy other than my

0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 2>son's one of my friends.

0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:14.200
<v Speaker 1>Eric is here. He's uh.

0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.880
<v Speaker 2>He's been my buddy since since high school, really since

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.240
<v Speaker 2>middle school. We got in trouble together and Eric still

0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:25.320
<v Speaker 2>saved most days. And he he came over to my

0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.080
<v Speaker 2>house the other day we were gonna work out, and

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 2>he was all drumpy and sluggish and everything.

0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:30.479
<v Speaker 1>I said, what's wrong with you? Man?

0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 2>He said, well, he said, these I've been.

0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Up since four am. I said why.

0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.800
<v Speaker 2>He said, these kids, these punk kids in my neighborhood

0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.040
<v Speaker 2>and ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night.

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.719
<v Speaker 1>They've done it ten times. He said, I'm gonna catch them. Though,

0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:44.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna catch them.

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.399
<v Speaker 2>I had I had a.

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:47.400
<v Speaker 1>Camera on my doorbell.

0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:49.919
<v Speaker 2>There's I put a camera in my doorbell, and I'm

0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:50.520
<v Speaker 2>gonna catch them.

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.399
<v Speaker 1>But these kids are smart man, smart punks.

0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 2>They came up. They covered the camera on the doorbell

0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:58.359
<v Speaker 2>ring from the side.

0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna catch them, but I stopped in at ask

0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:00.720
<v Speaker 1>them a question.

0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:02.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a good question, I said, And what

0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:07.240
<v Speaker 2>will you do when you catch them? And that good

0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.760
<v Speaker 2>question if somebody's looking for a woman or looking for

0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 2>a man, what will you do.

0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:16.400
<v Speaker 1>If you catch them?

0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:18.639
<v Speaker 2>But we are so focused on the catching that we

0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 2>don't even pay attention to the commitment.

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.560
<v Speaker 1>That is required back when I.

0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:30.679
<v Speaker 2>Note, so what is your focus? Is it what you

0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.760
<v Speaker 2>can control, which is what God is doing in your life,

0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:34.920
<v Speaker 2>or is it finding?

0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.359
<v Speaker 1>You know you? I got to find a woman, then

0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:38.440
<v Speaker 1>you got to find a ring.

0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Then you got to find some money, and you got

0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to find a date to get married and a place

0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.119
<v Speaker 2>to get married. Everybody can come to that, all on

0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.800
<v Speaker 2>the same date, working out continents, different continents, people coming

0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:52.440
<v Speaker 2>together from all these different places in the world. And

0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:55.359
<v Speaker 2>got to find the dresses for the bridesmade something that

0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.440
<v Speaker 2>they'll all wear and won't complain about then look good against.

0:18:58.119 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 1>Their skin tone.

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:02.080
<v Speaker 2>And you got to find a house and find a job,

0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:07.320
<v Speaker 2>and finding finding finding finding, finding finding finding finding You

0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:11.679
<v Speaker 2>see the pattern here. But God said, while all of

0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:15.880
<v Speaker 2>that has its place, if you will focus on becoming.

0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Remember he said, the two will become one.

0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:25.760
<v Speaker 1>That's the focus. What are you becoming? It's a good

0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 1>question to ask.

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:31.160
<v Speaker 2>Another thing that Jesus mentions is our tendency to live

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:35.280
<v Speaker 2>in another time. So let me ask my second focus question.

0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Are you focused on then or now?

0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Then or now?

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:48.080
<v Speaker 2>He said, don't worry about tomorrow, not because you don't

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.639
<v Speaker 2>have the tendency to, or not because it isn't reasonable to,

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 2>just because it doesn't work.

0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:55.240
<v Speaker 1>You know the Corey ten Boom quote.

0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:56.560
<v Speaker 2>You may not know that she said it, but she

0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 2>said that worried does not empty tomorrow of it sorrow.

0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:01.879
<v Speaker 2>It only empties today of it strength. And I believe

0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:06.480
<v Speaker 2>that while we've talked so much about the importance of

0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.040
<v Speaker 2>not living in your past and the danger of living

0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:13.760
<v Speaker 2>in yesterday, I certainly think that a lot of relationships

0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:16.200
<v Speaker 2>are sabotaged by things that happened before they ever began,

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:22.320
<v Speaker 2>that weren't dealt with, And so we project onto other

0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:27.520
<v Speaker 2>people trust issues that were developed because of another person's actions,

0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:31.560
<v Speaker 2>and start saying things to somebody that we just met,

0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:39.680
<v Speaker 2>like who's texting you, and it's not that you ever

0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:42.960
<v Speaker 2>caught him doing anything. It's just that it's been done

0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:48.080
<v Speaker 2>to you before. And so now your word, you're bringing

0:20:48.119 --> 0:20:50.240
<v Speaker 2>the past into the present, and that's dangerous. You got

0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:53.560
<v Speaker 2>to deal with that stuff. However, because my text led

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:56.119
<v Speaker 2>me here, I was a little bit more fascinated with

0:20:56.160 --> 0:20:58.520
<v Speaker 2>this idea of how many of us live not in

0:20:58.560 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 2>the past, but in the future. Jesus said, don't worry

0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 2>about tomorrow, and it is equally important that we don't

0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:11.200
<v Speaker 2>wish away today waiting for tomorrow to come.

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:15.560
<v Speaker 1>Tomorrow is a sexy place to vacation in your mind.

0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:21.840
<v Speaker 2>Because it's totally imaginary. Tomorrow is a wonderful place to

0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:24.199
<v Speaker 2>visit in your mind. It brings hope into the present.

0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:26.240
<v Speaker 2>I think it's cool to have a vision for the future,

0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:27.639
<v Speaker 2>you know. I think it's cool to think I had

0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:29.720
<v Speaker 2>plan ahead Iras and all of that.

0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm a big fan.

0:21:31.760 --> 0:21:33.800
<v Speaker 2>But I do think at the same time, you can't

0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:38.560
<v Speaker 2>live there. But it's so nice to you know, it

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:43.359
<v Speaker 2>is so freeing from the constraints of my current struggle,

0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:50.280
<v Speaker 2>which is so real. There's a shuttle myself to tomorrow.

0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:59.680
<v Speaker 4>Tomorrow. I love you Tomorrow. See how good it sounds

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:05.960
<v Speaker 4>it is, I love you tomorrow.

0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 2>You never hear anybody saying today.

0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 1>See, it doesn't even sound.

0:22:12.320 --> 0:22:15.960
<v Speaker 2>As good, does it. It doesn't even have the same cadence today.

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:24.399
<v Speaker 4>Today, I hate you.

0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Today, I wish you would go away. But tomorrow, tomorrow,

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:40.400
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna be better tomorrow because my kids aren't gonna

0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:43.360
<v Speaker 2>be in diapers tomorrow. My kids are gonna be out

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:47.760
<v Speaker 2>of high school tomorrow. I'm be an empty nester tomorrow

0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:50.720
<v Speaker 2>about my identity around my kids tomorrow. You know, my

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:52.760
<v Speaker 2>spouse any aren't tomorrow.

0:22:54.440 --> 0:23:00.639
<v Speaker 1>It's about focus. It's about focus, and the.

0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Only way, the only way till tomorrow is through today.

0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:07.879
<v Speaker 2>So you got to live there. You got to live there.

0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:11.399
<v Speaker 2>You can't do it like well, you know, if I

0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:13.439
<v Speaker 2>had a man, and I know that's easy for me

0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:15.720
<v Speaker 2>to say, I know us whatever is easy for me

0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:17.800
<v Speaker 2>to say, But it's kind of easy for you single

0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:20.920
<v Speaker 2>people to tell us what marriage is like too, all right,

0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:24.640
<v Speaker 2>So we could all have a decent conversation, all right,

0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.520
<v Speaker 2>And by the way, I would just put it out

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:30.040
<v Speaker 2>there to any of us who are married or single.

0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:32.439
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk within the realm of what we know, not

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.679
<v Speaker 2>in the realm of what we think somebody. Have you

0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:38.200
<v Speaker 2>ever noticed how easy it is for you to give

0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:44.159
<v Speaker 2>advice when you're looking at what's in somebody else's I

0:23:46.400 --> 0:23:50.400
<v Speaker 2>Jesus shifts gears in this teaching, and he's going from

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:53.679
<v Speaker 2>comfort to challenge, and God is good at both. So

0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:55.680
<v Speaker 2>he says, hey, I got you.

0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:57.359
<v Speaker 1>I know what you need.

0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:00.760
<v Speaker 2>You don't need somebody to complete You are already the

0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:04.000
<v Speaker 2>total package. You don't need clothes or food, any of

0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:06.640
<v Speaker 2>these things. I know what you need, and you're good

0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>in my sight. And your life doesn't begin when the

0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:11.400
<v Speaker 2>next stage starts. It starts right now, So don't worry

0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:17.960
<v Speaker 2>about it now. Don't judge just out of nowhere. What's

0:24:18.000 --> 0:24:24.560
<v Speaker 2>your focus? Is your focus on what is not or

0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:29.720
<v Speaker 2>what you've got. Everything I've preached to you has been

0:24:29.800 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 2>leading up to this point. So it's about to get good.

0:24:32.040 --> 0:24:33.399
<v Speaker 1>Touch your neighbor and tell them wake up.

0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:36.480
<v Speaker 2>This is the part I want to show you, real quick,

0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:50.080
<v Speaker 2>the two most important tools in any relationship. This is, incidentally,

0:24:50.160 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 2>the only time you will ever see me carrying one

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:52.560
<v Speaker 2>of these.

0:24:54.040 --> 0:24:55.639
<v Speaker 1>For illustrative purposes.

0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:02.119
<v Speaker 2>One time Elijah saw me, he was about seven, and

0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:04.560
<v Speaker 2>he saw me pull out my little toolbox. About that

0:25:04.640 --> 0:25:07.120
<v Speaker 2>big And he said, Daddy, you have one of those

0:25:09.440 --> 0:25:15.920
<v Speaker 2>to blow to my masculinity. But I would say, right now,

0:25:17.440 --> 0:25:22.520
<v Speaker 2>when you think about your intimate relationships, and an intimate

0:25:22.560 --> 0:25:26.639
<v Speaker 2>relationship can be with the parent, can be with whatever

0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:30.200
<v Speaker 2>you do your own application. Okay, I can't do everything

0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:31.399
<v Speaker 2>for you. I mean I can put the food on

0:25:31.400 --> 0:25:36.240
<v Speaker 2>the plate, I can't chew it. So when you think

0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:39.400
<v Speaker 2>about that, the first tool, if you reach in here,

0:25:39.440 --> 0:25:43.439
<v Speaker 2>that you have in any relationship. Somebody say, focus, This

0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:45.760
<v Speaker 2>is the first tool that you have in any relationship.

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:52.280
<v Speaker 2>It is the ability to magnify whatever you choose to magnify.

0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:55.600
<v Speaker 1>Right, So Jesus said, when.

0:25:55.440 --> 0:25:59.840
<v Speaker 2>You make that little speck that's in somebody else's eyes,

0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:04.600
<v Speaker 2>huge thing. Now, now let's break this down, because if

0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:07.960
<v Speaker 2>you're going to see a speck in somebody's eye, what

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:12.159
<v Speaker 2>do you have to be to see a speck in

0:26:12.200 --> 0:26:16.720
<v Speaker 2>somebody else's eye? Right? That's not something you see from

0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 2>a distance. Right.

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.320
<v Speaker 1>You could have I boogers all up in your eye.

0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:25.000
<v Speaker 2>I can't see it from the stage. But if I'm

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:28.919
<v Speaker 2>noticing a speck in your eye, that means we're close.

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 2>And a lot of people fear intimacy because I don't

0:26:35.520 --> 0:26:37.280
<v Speaker 2>want you to see into me.

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:41.720
<v Speaker 1>So I keep people at a distance.

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:45.480
<v Speaker 2>If I can stay up on the stage and only

0:26:45.560 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 2>let you meet my representative but not see my reality,

0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:51.720
<v Speaker 2>then maybe you'll stay in love with me. But I'm

0:26:51.760 --> 0:26:54.280
<v Speaker 2>scared to let you get up close because I have

0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 2>this spec And people do the craziest thing, because when

0:26:57.320 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 2>you're first in a relationship with somebody.

0:27:00.040 --> 0:27:07.600
<v Speaker 1>Magnify all the amazing things about them. Wow, look how

0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:11.440
<v Speaker 1>funny she is? Look out look, how look? How look

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:12.880
<v Speaker 1>how laid back he is.

0:27:13.359 --> 0:27:15.720
<v Speaker 2>You don't know that laid back is really code for lazy,

0:27:15.760 --> 0:27:18.879
<v Speaker 2>but you will if you marry him.

0:27:19.040 --> 0:27:28.520
<v Speaker 5>Come on, Wow, it's amazing what you will magnify in

0:27:28.560 --> 0:27:30.000
<v Speaker 5>the beginning of a relationship.

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:33.160
<v Speaker 2>That'll make you love somebody that you will take for granted.

0:27:33.200 --> 0:27:38.679
<v Speaker 2>When you get into the relationship and get close and

0:27:38.720 --> 0:27:42.560
<v Speaker 2>you choose, in any relationship or in any season of

0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:45.600
<v Speaker 2>your life, you choose what you magnify. I hear single

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:48.160
<v Speaker 2>people talking about their lonely. I hear married people talking

0:27:48.200 --> 0:27:50.639
<v Speaker 2>about their lonely. I heard a married couple the other

0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:52.760
<v Speaker 2>day talk about having no friends, and it brought them

0:27:52.800 --> 0:27:56.240
<v Speaker 2>to tears. Well, there was a time where they would

0:27:56.240 --> 0:28:00.399
<v Speaker 2>have said to each other, all I need is you.

0:28:02.880 --> 0:28:04.600
<v Speaker 1>But then you get with them and you.

0:28:04.600 --> 0:28:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Realize, well, they're not a savior. And if I'm going

0:28:10.920 --> 0:28:12.360
<v Speaker 2>to be happy in the season of my.

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:17.720
<v Speaker 5>Life, I got to choose what I magnify, what I

0:28:17.760 --> 0:28:18.359
<v Speaker 5>make bigger.

0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Write this down.

0:28:20.080 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 2>What you magnify, you get more of what you magnify,

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:30.399
<v Speaker 2>you get more of focus. I'm deciding any given moment

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:32.520
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship what I'm focusing on.

0:28:32.720 --> 0:28:34.359
<v Speaker 1>I was so mad at my dad.

0:28:35.440 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 2>I was so mad at that man because he was impossible.

0:28:39.200 --> 0:28:43.320
<v Speaker 2>In the last two years of his life, he was impossible.

0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:46.720
<v Speaker 2>He wouldn't let us take care of him. So he

0:28:46.840 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 2>moved away. He went to go live by himself. He

0:28:49.800 --> 0:28:51.800
<v Speaker 2>was dying, but he wouldn't let my mom take care

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:53.520
<v Speaker 2>of him. He wouldn't let us take care of him.

0:28:53.520 --> 0:28:55.720
<v Speaker 2>Anytime we try to put a plan together, he would

0:28:55.760 --> 0:28:58.000
<v Speaker 2>just blow it up. I was so mad at him.

0:28:58.320 --> 0:29:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I got to the point where my dad, anytime I

0:29:02.200 --> 0:29:03.840
<v Speaker 2>would try to talk to him on the phone, we

0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:06.680
<v Speaker 2>couldn't have a conversation. This went on for months. When

0:29:06.680 --> 0:29:08.520
<v Speaker 2>we would get on the phone, he would go into

0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:10.960
<v Speaker 2>a rage. Within two minutes. It would start here and

0:29:10.960 --> 0:29:13.560
<v Speaker 2>it would quickly escalate, and I was so mad at him.

0:29:13.560 --> 0:29:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I would send people that I would pay for to

0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:18.280
<v Speaker 2>go and take care of him, and he would fire them.

0:29:20.400 --> 0:29:23.280
<v Speaker 2>He fired four people that I sent to take care

0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:25.280
<v Speaker 2>of him because he wouldn't stay here and let us

0:29:25.320 --> 0:29:27.320
<v Speaker 2>take care of him. I couldn't see at the time

0:29:27.320 --> 0:29:29.360
<v Speaker 2>that he wasn't responding out of his own will. He

0:29:29.400 --> 0:29:32.160
<v Speaker 2>was responding out of his pain. Because when you're in

0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:37.360
<v Speaker 2>something like that, you don't see the person's intentions or

0:29:37.800 --> 0:29:39.960
<v Speaker 2>you don't see you don't see the place that is

0:29:40.000 --> 0:29:42.440
<v Speaker 2>coming from. You only feel how it's affecting you. I

0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:44.760
<v Speaker 2>was so mad at him, and I just decided, well,

0:29:44.760 --> 0:29:46.560
<v Speaker 2>find if he has to die and we can't speak,

0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:48.280
<v Speaker 2>I can't have somebody treat me like this.

0:29:48.640 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 1>I was so mad about it, And in the middle

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:51.000
<v Speaker 1>of being.

0:29:50.880 --> 0:29:53.640
<v Speaker 2>So mad about it, my father in law said something

0:29:53.640 --> 0:29:55.480
<v Speaker 2>to me that made me so upset, because the last

0:29:55.480 --> 0:29:56.480
<v Speaker 2>thing you want to hear when you're.

0:29:56.400 --> 0:29:58.240
<v Speaker 1>Upset is something like this.

0:29:59.160 --> 0:30:07.680
<v Speaker 2>He said, well, try to remember the good times. Try

0:30:07.720 --> 0:30:12.440
<v Speaker 2>to remember the good times. He did a lot of things, right, Well,

0:30:12.720 --> 0:30:16.680
<v Speaker 2>shut up, that's right. This is the one time you're

0:30:16.760 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 2>not allowed to say amen while I'm preaching. And it

0:30:21.880 --> 0:30:26.640
<v Speaker 2>was Father's Day of you know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen.

0:30:26.960 --> 0:30:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Forgive me for being imprecise on the date, but.

0:30:30.040 --> 0:30:32.120
<v Speaker 1>My memory of it is.

0:30:32.080 --> 0:30:35.640
<v Speaker 2>That I was driving home from vacation with the family

0:30:36.200 --> 0:30:39.520
<v Speaker 2>on Father's Day, feeling bad that I couldn't do anything

0:30:39.520 --> 0:30:42.360
<v Speaker 2>with my dad, and my father in law's voice in

0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:45.600
<v Speaker 2>my head. He did a lot of things right. And

0:30:45.640 --> 0:30:47.840
<v Speaker 2>I came to an idea, and I asked Holly if

0:30:47.880 --> 0:30:49.640
<v Speaker 2>we could pull over and switch and she could drive,

0:30:49.640 --> 0:30:52.040
<v Speaker 2>because we were going through the town where I grew up,

0:30:52.080 --> 0:30:55.040
<v Speaker 2>where my dad was living by himself. And I had

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:58.840
<v Speaker 2>the idea right down, one memory for every year that

0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:01.760
<v Speaker 2>he was your dad, and take it to the house

0:31:01.800 --> 0:31:05.920
<v Speaker 2>and give it to him, one good memory from every

0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:09.800
<v Speaker 2>year he was your dad. And man, I'm telling you,

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:12.840
<v Speaker 2>when I first started making that list, my pen was

0:31:12.840 --> 0:31:16.760
<v Speaker 2>moving so slow. I mean, it was all I could

0:31:16.800 --> 0:31:21.080
<v Speaker 2>do to get a letter on the page. I was

0:31:21.120 --> 0:31:23.560
<v Speaker 2>so mad at him. I was so mad at him

0:31:23.560 --> 0:31:25.000
<v Speaker 2>because all I could see is how he's treating me

0:31:25.080 --> 0:31:29.680
<v Speaker 2>right now. But when I started writing, I started remembering,

0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:35.800
<v Speaker 2>and so I remembered the first thing. I kind of

0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:38.240
<v Speaker 2>remembered was when I played on the Pirates and he

0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:43.480
<v Speaker 2>was my coach, and we sucked so bad that he

0:31:43.480 --> 0:31:45.600
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't let any of us swing at the plate. He

0:31:45.640 --> 0:31:47.760
<v Speaker 2>made us all bunt every time we were at back

0:31:48.360 --> 0:31:54.880
<v Speaker 2>for the whole season. So I wrote that down, bunting.

0:31:55.760 --> 0:31:58.760
<v Speaker 2>It was my first word. It got me started. Then

0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:03.560
<v Speaker 2>I remembered about a fourteen that he couldn't find a

0:32:03.560 --> 0:32:06.200
<v Speaker 2>way to connect with me because I was into music,

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:10.560
<v Speaker 2>he was into fishing. And he took me to a

0:32:10.600 --> 0:32:15.800
<v Speaker 2>punk rock concert in Ladson, South Carolina. The worst music

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:18.440
<v Speaker 2>that you've ever heard in your life was played in

0:32:18.520 --> 0:32:21.920
<v Speaker 2>that VW hall that day, But he he took me

0:32:21.960 --> 0:32:24.440
<v Speaker 2>and sat with me, and I wrote down punk rock

0:32:24.480 --> 0:32:29.320
<v Speaker 2>concert Ladson, And then I started remembering how after he

0:32:29.640 --> 0:32:30.920
<v Speaker 2>gave his life to Christ.

0:32:30.760 --> 0:32:32.240
<v Speaker 1>He wanted me to go to church with him.

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.000
<v Speaker 2>One of his customers in his barbershop had invited him

0:32:35.400 --> 0:32:37.480
<v Speaker 2>to their church revival. Now this was not like a

0:32:37.520 --> 0:32:40.760
<v Speaker 2>cod orange revival that's uplifting. This was like a hell

0:32:40.840 --> 0:32:47.240
<v Speaker 2>fire and brimstone revival. And the preacher was preaching so

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 2>hard that we went out to this little country church

0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:51.560
<v Speaker 2>and me and my dad wondered what have we gotten

0:32:51.560 --> 0:32:53.400
<v Speaker 2>ourselves into? And they seated us on the front row.

0:32:53.400 --> 0:32:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Were there on the front row in this independent fundamentalist

0:32:56.640 --> 0:32:59.440
<v Speaker 2>Baptist church, and all the women are in dresses and everything.

0:32:59.480 --> 0:33:01.680
<v Speaker 2>We're in t sh and we're sitting there in the church,

0:33:01.760 --> 0:33:03.120
<v Speaker 2>not knowing what we're getting ourselves into.

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:04.520
<v Speaker 1>And the preacher got so fired up.

0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:07.600
<v Speaker 2>At one point this little boy stood up and he shouted.

0:33:07.800 --> 0:33:09.800
<v Speaker 2>But he didn't say, Amen, praise the Lord, preach preacher.

0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Here's what a little boy said.

0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:12.200
<v Speaker 1>He said, lock the wild hog.

0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:25.239
<v Speaker 6>I never heard that shout before, so I wrote down,

0:33:25.360 --> 0:33:26.560
<v Speaker 6>let the wild hog ee.

0:33:28.120 --> 0:33:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Mean. I knocked on the door and got the house

0:33:29.600 --> 0:33:30.280
<v Speaker 2>and handed in the list.

0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I said, here. I didn't even hug him.

0:33:33.400 --> 0:33:36.959
<v Speaker 2>I was here. I made your list thirty two things.

0:33:38.720 --> 0:33:42.960
<v Speaker 2>He said, how did you remember this stuff? Because you choose.

0:33:44.800 --> 0:33:50.400
<v Speaker 1>What you magnify. And our story had a happy ending.

0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, we reconciled, not right at that moment. At

0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:54.800
<v Speaker 2>that moment, I handed him the list and walked out.

0:33:55.080 --> 0:33:57.360
<v Speaker 2>We don't want to see him, but it started something.

0:33:57.400 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 2>And I know reconciliation is not always possible on that life.

0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:03.120
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not even saying that it's always preferable. What

0:34:03.160 --> 0:34:05.440
<v Speaker 2>I am saying is that whatever you've lost, if you

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:07.360
<v Speaker 2>choose to magnify it, you're going to live in what

0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:13.719
<v Speaker 2>you lost. Whatever they're doing to you right now. If

0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:15.880
<v Speaker 2>you want to magnify that, you can forget the thousand

0:34:15.960 --> 0:34:18.000
<v Speaker 2>nice things that they said because of the one text

0:34:18.000 --> 0:34:19.759
<v Speaker 2>that they sent that said that one thing that they

0:34:19.760 --> 0:34:23.080
<v Speaker 2>weren't even thinking about, and in your mind, you will

0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:24.000
<v Speaker 2>begin to magnify.

0:34:24.080 --> 0:34:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Man, we should use these more in.

0:34:25.640 --> 0:34:31.280
<v Speaker 2>Dating because we don't look for anything any warning signs

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:35.560
<v Speaker 2>and dating we don't ask any questions about their bank account.

0:34:35.719 --> 0:34:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Well they love God, yes, but do they have grocery money? Right? See,

0:34:42.400 --> 0:34:44.640
<v Speaker 2>you need one of these in a dating relationship.

0:34:44.920 --> 0:34:46.360
<v Speaker 1>You need to see as.

0:34:46.320 --> 0:34:51.440
<v Speaker 2>Many as NX as you can see.

0:34:51.960 --> 0:34:53.720
<v Speaker 1>But then you have to use it for a different purpose.

0:34:54.600 --> 0:34:56.479
<v Speaker 2>In marriage. You got to use it in a close

0:34:56.600 --> 0:34:59.040
<v Speaker 2>relationship where you're committed. Look, if you come to this

0:34:59.200 --> 0:35:02.880
<v Speaker 2>church look for crap to get mad about. Let me

0:35:02.920 --> 0:35:05.440
<v Speaker 2>save you a whole lot of time and searching out

0:35:05.520 --> 0:35:12.760
<v Speaker 2>for you will find. What you look for, you will find,

0:35:13.239 --> 0:35:16.720
<v Speaker 2>seek and you will find. Isn't that what Jesus said

0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:18.640
<v Speaker 2>now that applies.

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:19.640
<v Speaker 1>To the good things and the bad things.

0:35:21.120 --> 0:35:22.920
<v Speaker 2>And this is one thing that my wife is really

0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:25.400
<v Speaker 2>good at, and I'm excited she's teaching the ladies of it.

0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:30.640
<v Speaker 2>In a couple of a couple of weeks, I think

0:35:30.680 --> 0:35:33.799
<v Speaker 2>they said Elevation Ladies Night dot Com. They said, I'll

0:35:33.840 --> 0:35:36.520
<v Speaker 2>get to come to I'm uncom Let me see what

0:35:36.560 --> 0:35:43.200
<v Speaker 2>y'all are talking about while we're not there. Any you know,

0:35:43.320 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 2>in any time in a relationship that see what you magnify.

0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know if we understand the power that

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:52.200
<v Speaker 2>we have to magnify things in other people that we

0:35:52.200 --> 0:35:54.080
<v Speaker 2>can bring out of them the good stuff.

0:35:54.880 --> 0:35:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if we understand the power that we have.

0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:58.840
<v Speaker 2>I told you at the beginning of my sermon that

0:35:58.880 --> 0:36:02.040
<v Speaker 2>I've been traveling a lot lately in preaching, and so

0:36:02.120 --> 0:36:04.839
<v Speaker 2>when I do that, I always feel like I'm cheating home.

0:36:05.440 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 1>No matter how much I try.

0:36:06.800 --> 0:36:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I probably not doing as bad of a job as

0:36:08.640 --> 0:36:10.120
<v Speaker 2>I think I am, but I tend to be really

0:36:10.120 --> 0:36:12.880
<v Speaker 2>hard on myself. So wherever I'm giving, I'm feeling guilty

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:14.920
<v Speaker 2>about where I'm not giving or you like that. So

0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:17.480
<v Speaker 2>it's like ezever enough, And so I'm sitting there feeling bad.

0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:20.520
<v Speaker 2>And one Saturday morning, I had all my notes for

0:36:20.600 --> 0:36:23.080
<v Speaker 2>the sermon that weekend spread out on the table, and

0:36:23.120 --> 0:36:25.239
<v Speaker 2>I've been gone somewhere else preaching all week, so I'm

0:36:25.239 --> 0:36:27.640
<v Speaker 2>feeling kind of behind and a little just a little

0:36:27.640 --> 0:36:30.200
<v Speaker 2>bit distracted. The kids are all around me. They're trying

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:33.080
<v Speaker 2>to get my attention. I'm paying them no attention, and

0:36:33.120 --> 0:36:35.400
<v Speaker 2>they're screaming my name, and I'm not listening and all

0:36:35.400 --> 0:36:37.080
<v Speaker 2>of that. And I know I'm not listening, and I

0:36:37.160 --> 0:36:38.560
<v Speaker 2>kind of don't care because I got to get this

0:36:38.600 --> 0:36:40.560
<v Speaker 2>sermon ready, but I kind of feel awful about it.

0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:42.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm just feeling that thing, like I'm stretched apart. And

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:44.480
<v Speaker 2>if you don't have a lot of little kids around,

0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:46.840
<v Speaker 2>maybe this wouldn't apply to you. But I think everybody's

0:36:46.840 --> 0:36:48.520
<v Speaker 2>felt this way at some point, just like, well, I

0:36:48.560 --> 0:36:50.720
<v Speaker 2>can't give enough to anybody anywhere.

0:36:50.320 --> 0:36:53.040
<v Speaker 7>And feeling really like a failure was a very mild level,

0:36:53.040 --> 0:36:55.480
<v Speaker 7>but I felt it. I'm feeling up tight and all

0:36:55.560 --> 0:36:57.399
<v Speaker 7>that stuff, and I need to be a good dad,

0:36:57.440 --> 0:36:58.640
<v Speaker 7>but I also need to be a good pastor, and

0:36:58.640 --> 0:36:59.839
<v Speaker 7>I don't know how to be both at the same time.

0:37:00.040 --> 0:37:01.640
<v Speaker 7>In their feeling mother and the kids are yelling, and

0:37:01.640 --> 0:37:03.040
<v Speaker 7>I'm kind of mad at them and annoyed with them.

0:37:03.080 --> 0:37:03.799
<v Speaker 1>But it's not their fault.

0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm the one that's been gone and they.

0:37:05.520 --> 0:37:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Really just want anyway.

0:37:06.840 --> 0:37:13.360
<v Speaker 2>Holly speaks up and she goes, kids, your dad is

0:37:13.400 --> 0:37:18.799
<v Speaker 2>a great man. I hope when you grow up that

0:37:18.880 --> 0:37:21.000
<v Speaker 2>you grow up to be a hard worker like your dad.

0:37:22.040 --> 0:37:25.960
<v Speaker 2>He's been gone all week, preaching, doing what God called

0:37:26.000 --> 0:37:28.800
<v Speaker 2>him to do, and providing for our family.

0:37:29.440 --> 0:37:30.200
<v Speaker 1>And now look at him.

0:37:30.200 --> 0:37:32.319
<v Speaker 2>He's got these notes spread all over this kitchen table.

0:37:32.480 --> 0:37:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you something. She made me feel in

0:37:35.440 --> 0:37:39.000
<v Speaker 1>just one little speech, one little.

0:37:38.760 --> 0:37:46.200
<v Speaker 2>Speech, she made me feel. She made me bigger. I'm

0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:48.240
<v Speaker 2>telling you, ladies, you can make amend.

0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:54.520
<v Speaker 1>It's bigger. You can't. You can make him stronger.

0:37:54.960 --> 0:37:58.319
<v Speaker 2>You can make him bring in more groceries from the car.

0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:01.280
<v Speaker 1>Just tell him how strong years I'm telling you Holly.

0:38:01.440 --> 0:38:03.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't know where she learned this, but when we

0:38:03.120 --> 0:38:05.200
<v Speaker 2>first got married, I was carrying in the groceries from

0:38:05.239 --> 0:38:06.680
<v Speaker 2>the car one day. I don't do that anymore, That's

0:38:06.680 --> 0:38:08.839
<v Speaker 2>what I kissed for. But I was carrying in.

0:38:08.760 --> 0:38:10.440
<v Speaker 1>The groceries one day, and I had a.

0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Couple of bags, you know, a couple bags bagged around

0:38:12.680 --> 0:38:12.960
<v Speaker 2>my arm.

0:38:13.040 --> 0:38:13.760
<v Speaker 1>Bags everywhere.

0:38:13.880 --> 0:38:15.680
<v Speaker 2>I had bags coming in the house and I said,

0:38:16.360 --> 0:38:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm coming in the house and Holly.

0:38:18.160 --> 0:38:21.879
<v Speaker 1>Said, Holly said, how do you do that? I said, well,

0:38:21.880 --> 0:38:23.400
<v Speaker 1>it's easy. You know, it's easy for me.

0:38:23.520 --> 0:38:28.680
<v Speaker 2>So I started curling the grocery bags. I grabbed a couple.

0:38:28.840 --> 0:38:31.319
<v Speaker 2>I put a grocery bag in my teeth. I put

0:38:31.320 --> 0:38:36.720
<v Speaker 2>one around my neck. Why because she magnified something so small,

0:38:38.239 --> 0:38:39.920
<v Speaker 2>and you magnified the little.

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:41.720
<v Speaker 1>Thing and it gets bigger.

0:38:43.360 --> 0:38:46.440
<v Speaker 2>You magnify what you don't have, and it gets bigger

0:38:46.440 --> 0:38:47.960
<v Speaker 2>in your mind until all you can see is what

0:38:48.000 --> 0:38:51.880
<v Speaker 2>you don't have. You magnify what they're not, or do

0:38:51.920 --> 0:38:58.239
<v Speaker 2>you magnify what they've got? See? I think this makes

0:38:58.280 --> 0:39:03.480
<v Speaker 2>all the difference. Are you coming back next week to me?

0:39:03.840 --> 0:39:04.479
<v Speaker 1>This is good?

0:39:05.520 --> 0:39:07.439
<v Speaker 2>Are you going to bring somebody with you next week

0:39:07.480 --> 0:39:13.040
<v Speaker 2>who needs to hear this? That was less enthusiastic. I

0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:15.160
<v Speaker 2>know they will at rock Hill campus. They bring a

0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:18.680
<v Speaker 2>lot of people at rock Hill. So what is your focus?

0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:21.319
<v Speaker 2>Jesus said, You can look at the spec you can.

0:39:21.200 --> 0:39:21.719
<v Speaker 1>Look at the plank.

0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:24.320
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting to me because, knowing very little about carpentry,

0:39:24.360 --> 0:39:26.759
<v Speaker 2>I do realize that the sawdust comes from the same

0:39:26.760 --> 0:39:31.160
<v Speaker 2>material that the plank is made of. Usually, when I

0:39:31.239 --> 0:39:34.840
<v Speaker 2>see something in someone else that makes me angry offended,

0:39:35.600 --> 0:39:44.200
<v Speaker 2>it's because it represents something that's in me. So I

0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:46.920
<v Speaker 2>told you there were two tools in there are when

0:39:47.000 --> 0:39:51.040
<v Speaker 2>it comes to the relationships that matter the most, and

0:39:51.080 --> 0:39:52.719
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to the things that offend us and

0:39:52.840 --> 0:39:57.160
<v Speaker 2>other people. Because everybody has issues and most of us

0:39:57.160 --> 0:40:03.480
<v Speaker 2>have a subscription. You know what a great dating conversation

0:40:03.600 --> 0:40:06.560
<v Speaker 2>would be what kind of crazy are you?

0:40:10.280 --> 0:40:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Because I can't tell.

0:40:11.160 --> 0:40:13.120
<v Speaker 2>From this distance, but if I get close to you,

0:40:15.560 --> 0:40:17.880
<v Speaker 2>but you know all these issues, you got to decide.

0:40:17.960 --> 0:40:25.440
<v Speaker 2>Am I going to focus on theirs or mine? Because

0:40:25.480 --> 0:40:27.439
<v Speaker 2>I think the key to this thing of loving the Lord,

0:40:27.520 --> 0:40:29.560
<v Speaker 2>our God with all our heart, with all our soul,

0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:31.319
<v Speaker 2>with all our mind, and with all our strength, and

0:40:31.360 --> 0:40:32.960
<v Speaker 2>loving our neighbor as ourselves.

0:40:33.239 --> 0:40:42.279
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you got to put down this and pick up this.

0:40:45.280 --> 0:40:51.440
<v Speaker 2>And just ask God, So, Lord, what is it that

0:40:51.480 --> 0:40:55.160
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to teach me, or what is it that

0:40:55.239 --> 0:40:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I can change?

0:40:55.920 --> 0:40:57.359
<v Speaker 1>Because I tried.

0:40:57.160 --> 0:41:01.680
<v Speaker 2>Changing Charlie and Charlie won't change. So here I am Lord,

0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:05.839
<v Speaker 2>And in the words of the King of pop if

0:41:05.880 --> 0:41:10.480
<v Speaker 2>you want to make the world a better place where

0:41:10.480 --> 0:41:11.360
<v Speaker 2>you're going to start.

0:41:11.840 --> 0:41:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you've got to start with your own self.

0:41:14.800 --> 0:41:17.480
<v Speaker 2>And God says, you can't even help the people that

0:41:17.600 --> 0:41:22.880
<v Speaker 2>you love when you're infected with the very issue that

0:41:22.920 --> 0:41:23.880
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to solve.

0:41:25.719 --> 0:41:28.280
<v Speaker 1>So it's loved the Lord your.

0:41:28.120 --> 0:41:31.920
<v Speaker 2>God, that's one half, But it's also loved your neighbor

0:41:32.080 --> 0:41:32.760
<v Speaker 2>as yourself.

0:41:32.800 --> 0:41:33.680
<v Speaker 1>That's the other half.

0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:37.920
<v Speaker 2>You can't have this half right and not have this

0:41:38.000 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 2>half right. You can't treat people like garbage and worship

0:41:44.040 --> 0:41:49.399
<v Speaker 2>God at the same time. You can't get this right though.

0:41:49.480 --> 0:41:53.080
<v Speaker 2>Until you get this right, you can't treat people well

0:41:53.160 --> 0:41:55.080
<v Speaker 2>if you don't know God loves you, and you can't

0:41:55.120 --> 0:42:01.400
<v Speaker 2>love God until you have received his love freely. And

0:42:01.440 --> 0:42:05.200
<v Speaker 2>that's what makes it across. That's what makes it across.

0:42:05.280 --> 0:42:09.759
<v Speaker 2>That's what makes it complete, is that it's this and

0:42:09.920 --> 0:42:14.319
<v Speaker 2>it's this. One thing I never noticed, though, is that

0:42:16.080 --> 0:42:17.960
<v Speaker 2>Jesus said you'd love the Lord your God with all

0:42:18.000 --> 0:42:20.319
<v Speaker 2>your heart, soul, mind, strength. We go around trying to

0:42:20.360 --> 0:42:24.880
<v Speaker 2>love people and we're not even whole within ourselves. But

0:42:24.960 --> 0:42:28.320
<v Speaker 2>the other thing is that he said love your neighbor

0:42:28.360 --> 0:42:30.720
<v Speaker 2>as yourself. Now, I've always known that that was a command,

0:42:30.719 --> 0:42:35.040
<v Speaker 2>but it's also just an observation that the way you

0:42:35.280 --> 0:42:43.320
<v Speaker 2>love your neighbor is the way you love yourself. If

0:42:43.400 --> 0:42:46.600
<v Speaker 2>you haven't received God's acceptance of you, you won't be

0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:50.000
<v Speaker 2>able to accept anybody else as they are because you

0:42:50.040 --> 0:42:55.920
<v Speaker 2>don't even love yourself. And so a lot of times

0:42:55.920 --> 0:42:56.680
<v Speaker 2>it starts there.

0:42:56.719 --> 0:42:58.000
<v Speaker 1>It starts with saying.

0:42:58.680 --> 0:43:03.640
<v Speaker 2>God, I can't go into these relationships anymore half.

0:43:03.480 --> 0:43:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Empty and needing people. Sometimes I'm so needy.

0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:08.239
<v Speaker 2>I was asking God the other day to help me

0:43:08.320 --> 0:43:10.520
<v Speaker 2>not be so hard on others, and God said, well, first,

0:43:10.520 --> 0:43:12.239
<v Speaker 2>you're going to have to not be so hard on you,

0:43:14.400 --> 0:43:20.319
<v Speaker 2>because what starts here, flows here, flows here, flows here,

0:43:22.440 --> 0:43:27.640
<v Speaker 2>flows here. And I just wanted to begin this series

0:43:27.680 --> 0:43:32.200
<v Speaker 2>today asking you where is your focus? Because if another

0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:34.120
<v Speaker 2>person is at the center of your focus and they're

0:43:34.160 --> 0:43:36.760
<v Speaker 2>responsible for the fulfillment of your joy, you're.

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:38.200
<v Speaker 1>Going to always be miserable.

0:43:40.360 --> 0:43:43.160
<v Speaker 2>If you're trying to do God's job in fixing somebody

0:43:43.160 --> 0:43:46.000
<v Speaker 2>else and you have a focus on what they need

0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:53.319
<v Speaker 2>to become. Let me tell you something, there is no

0:43:53.960 --> 0:44:00.160
<v Speaker 2>worse strategy for your own personal satisfaction in life to

0:44:00.200 --> 0:44:09.480
<v Speaker 2>place that responsibility in someone else's hands. So for all

0:44:09.520 --> 0:44:11.600
<v Speaker 2>of us who have been saying, you know, I need

0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:14.200
<v Speaker 2>someone to complete me, or I need you to complete me,

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:16.840
<v Speaker 2>or I need this. The message I think God has

0:44:16.880 --> 0:44:18.440
<v Speaker 2>for us today.

0:44:18.400 --> 0:44:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Is give me my job back.

0:44:22.120 --> 0:44:25.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm a good God, I'm a good father.

0:44:26.280 --> 0:44:27.480
<v Speaker 1>I know what you need.

0:44:28.320 --> 0:44:30.759
<v Speaker 2>And here's the difference between God and everybody else in

0:44:30.760 --> 0:44:31.320
<v Speaker 2>your life.

0:44:31.760 --> 0:44:33.000
<v Speaker 1>Not only does he know what.

0:44:32.920 --> 0:44:36.440
<v Speaker 2>You need, he has what you need and he's the

0:44:36.480 --> 0:44:38.080
<v Speaker 2>only one who has what you need.

0:44:40.040 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I want you to stand up on.

0:44:41.120 --> 0:44:43.120
<v Speaker 2>Your feet at every location I want to pray for you.

0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:45.719
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna get into this over the next several weeks.

0:44:45.719 --> 0:44:47.880
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna get into this. We're gonna get into it

0:44:48.000 --> 0:44:50.120
<v Speaker 2>so deep that there's gonna be healing that's gonna happen

0:44:50.120 --> 0:44:52.200
<v Speaker 2>in your heart. God is gonna open he said, if

0:44:52.239 --> 0:44:54.600
<v Speaker 2>you would knock, the door would be open. If you

0:44:54.640 --> 0:45:00.600
<v Speaker 2>would seek, you would find where is your focus. Let's

0:45:00.640 --> 0:45:02.400
<v Speaker 2>take a moment before we rush out of here and

0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:03.960
<v Speaker 2>hank it people in the parking lot.

0:45:03.960 --> 0:45:07.320
<v Speaker 1>After we worship God, let's close our eyes.

0:45:07.120 --> 0:45:08.399
<v Speaker 2>And just lift our hands to Heaven.

0:45:08.440 --> 0:45:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Would you do that?

0:45:09.080 --> 0:45:10.719
<v Speaker 2>Some of you never done that before. Just go ahead

0:45:10.719 --> 0:45:12.120
<v Speaker 2>and do it right now. Just lift your hands to

0:45:12.160 --> 0:45:16.520
<v Speaker 2>your Father. And I want you to just begin to

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:20.600
<v Speaker 2>magnify the Lord and all of the good things that

0:45:20.640 --> 0:45:23.160
<v Speaker 2>He's placed in your life. Some of you are lonely today,

0:45:23.200 --> 0:45:25.640
<v Speaker 2>and I understand, and God understands.

0:45:25.719 --> 0:45:28.200
<v Speaker 1>And it's okay to be lonely. It's okay.

0:45:28.239 --> 0:45:30.640
<v Speaker 2>It's a part of the human experience. Jesus went through

0:45:31.080 --> 0:45:33.960
<v Speaker 2>a loneliness so severe that he prayed that the cup would.

0:45:33.719 --> 0:45:34.560
<v Speaker 1>Be passed from him.

0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:36.560
<v Speaker 2>The ones who should have been there for him abandoned

0:45:36.640 --> 0:45:37.600
<v Speaker 2>him in his hour of need.

0:45:37.880 --> 0:45:39.640
<v Speaker 1>He knew what it was like to be lonely. He

0:45:39.719 --> 0:45:41.560
<v Speaker 1>knows what it's like to be lonely, and.

0:45:41.520 --> 0:45:43.239
<v Speaker 2>He wants to stand up on the inside of you

0:45:43.360 --> 0:45:45.560
<v Speaker 2>right now and remind you that He is your completion,

0:45:45.680 --> 0:45:49.880
<v Speaker 2>your satisfaction, and your fulfillment. Father, I thank you today

0:45:49.880 --> 0:45:51.839
<v Speaker 2>for every person that you brought to church. I thank

0:45:51.840 --> 0:45:54.160
<v Speaker 2>you for the work you're doing in our lives. I

0:45:54.200 --> 0:45:56.880
<v Speaker 2>thank you that we are full and complete in Jesus Christ.

0:45:56.880 --> 0:45:59.440
<v Speaker 2>That we have all that we need in Him, That

0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:02.120
<v Speaker 2>all that we need is in Him. That all that

0:46:02.160 --> 0:46:04.760
<v Speaker 2>we need to be good husbands, to be good wives,

0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:06.880
<v Speaker 2>all that we need to fulfill your purpose in a

0:46:06.920 --> 0:46:10.040
<v Speaker 2>season of singleness, all that we need to be good parents.

0:46:10.080 --> 0:46:12.080
<v Speaker 2>All that we need to forgive people that we need

0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:14.480
<v Speaker 2>to forgive, all that we need is in you. And

0:46:14.520 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 2>so our focus now is not on what we're not,

0:46:17.360 --> 0:46:18.160
<v Speaker 2>but who you are.

0:46:18.480 --> 0:46:20.520
<v Speaker 1>We thank you God. Let's look at and clap.

0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:23.680
<v Speaker 2>Our hands for the awesome God that you are, for

0:46:23.840 --> 0:46:27.200
<v Speaker 2>the amazing God that you are, for the strong God

0:46:27.280 --> 0:46:30.319
<v Speaker 2>that you are, or the capable God that you are.

0:46:30.640 --> 0:46:31.680
<v Speaker 1>Come on and praise him.

0:46:32.040 --> 0:46:35.680
<v Speaker 2>When you praise him, when you magnify him, he releases

0:46:36.000 --> 0:46:43.239
<v Speaker 2>bless us and you. Thank you. Thank you for joining us.

0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:45.960
<v Speaker 2>Special thanks to those of you who give generously to

0:46:46.040 --> 0:46:49.520
<v Speaker 2>this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible.

0:46:50.000 --> 0:46:52.200
<v Speaker 2>You can click the link in the description to give

0:46:52.280 --> 0:46:56.200
<v Speaker 2>now or visit Elevation Church dot org slash podcast for

0:46:56.280 --> 0:47:00.320
<v Speaker 2>more information and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe.

0:47:00.520 --> 0:47:01.840
<v Speaker 1>You can share it with your friends.

0:47:02.120 --> 0:47:04.400
<v Speaker 2>You can click the share button, take a screenshot and

0:47:04.480 --> 0:47:06.560
<v Speaker 2>share it on your social stories and tag us at

0:47:06.600 --> 0:47:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Elevation Church.

0:47:07.520 --> 0:47:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Thanks again for listening.

0:47:08.560 --> 0:47:14.160
<v Speaker 2>God, bless you