1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast. 3 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 2: I wanted to thank you for joining us today. 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: Hope this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith. 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,880 Speaker 2: Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving 6 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:18,159 Speaker 2: in your life. Enjoy the message, and I feel so 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 2: energized about this new teaching series called The Other Half. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: We're going to talk about your relationships. How many are 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 2: excited to talk about your relationships? 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: Take a moment if you wouldn't pity me? Would you 11 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: pity me? 12 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 2: Yeah? Because how would you like to speak about relationships 13 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 2: to a room this diverse? 14 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: Would you enjoy that? You want to trade places? Because 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: I know, I know I've. 16 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: Been doing this a while now. I know I look 17 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: twenty three, but I've been doing this for a minute, 18 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 2: and I know everybody has a different kind of reaction. 19 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: We're going to talk about relationships four weeks and then 20 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 2: some people say, well, i'll see you in five. 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: Am I sending through that? 22 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 2: You know? Because really, really they do. Some people have 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 2: been through painful, terribly painful relationship situations, and you almost 24 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 2: think you can predict what the preacher might have to 25 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: say about relationships before he even says it. So single 26 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 2: people are already judging me before I even start my sermon. 27 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: Hear me gown okay, and then they tell me to wait, 28 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,279 Speaker 1: wait for the one. 29 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,559 Speaker 2: Then i'm you know, and if i'm if he hasn't 30 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 2: come in my life yet, I'm not ready. 31 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: And though my roommate was totally less ready than me. 32 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 3: She I don't say anything about you know, tell me 33 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 3: not to have sex and sex and when you get 34 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 3: a disease and go to hell and I die. 35 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 2: But what I'm gonna do, I'm going to go straight 36 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 2: to the Bible, and then if you don't like what 37 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 2: I have to say, you can take. 38 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: It up with my boss, turning your Bible. 39 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 2: To Matthew chapter six, verse thirty one. And we want 40 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 2: to get into this series today called the Other Half. 41 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 2: If I were to ask you the question are you 42 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 2: in a relationship and your hand didn't go up, you 43 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: misunderstand the very nature of what we intend to communicate. 44 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 2: This series is for everyone. Would you touch your neighbor 45 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: and say this is totally for you. 46 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: When we do it, we'll talk a little bit about. 47 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 2: If you're married, that's important, but there is half of 48 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 2: the church that isn't married. Statistics say half of marriages 49 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 2: and in divorce. 50 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: And let's be honest. 51 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 2: If we don't have our relationship with God right, our 52 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 2: relationship with ourself right, we're never gonna have our relationship 53 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 2: with others. Right. So I hope you'll just listen with 54 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 2: an open mind today and let me pick up in 55 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: Matthew chapter six, verse thirty one. I'm probably partial to 56 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 2: this scripture. My dad loved the Sermon on the Mount 57 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 2: and he would read it every morning. So he challenged 58 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: me to memorize. And I memorize some of it, but 59 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 2: he memorized the whole thing. I didn't memorize the whole thing. 60 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 2: But I like this part in Matthew chapter six, verse 61 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 2: thirty one. And I never really saw it as a 62 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 2: relationship scripture. 63 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: But now that I read it in this season of 64 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: my life, I. 65 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 2: See that it's nothing if not a relationship scripture. It 66 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: is all about intimacy and provision. And you'll see what 67 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 2: I mean. Jesus speaking says, so do not worry saying 68 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or 69 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 2: what shall we wear? For the pagans, people who don't 70 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 2: even know God run after all these things, and your 71 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 2: heavenly Father knows that you need them. 72 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: Somebody, say God knows what I need. 73 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 2: And tell your neighbor too, in case they've been staying 74 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: up stressing about things that are outside of their control. 75 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 2: Tell them God knows what you need. God knows what 76 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: you need. And that's a good thing to say. Anytime 77 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 2: in your life you feel like that you don't have enough, 78 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 2: or you don't have what you want, or you don't 79 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 2: have what others have, just remind yourself over and over 80 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 2: again that God knows what I need. 81 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: Now. 82 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes the reason that we can't receive his provision in 83 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 2: some areas of our life is because we don't have 84 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 2: our priorities aligned. And sometimes what we interpret as a 85 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 2: lack of provision on God's part is a lack of 86 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 2: prioritization on ours. Can I go further, so, he says, 87 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 2: seek first thirty three his kingdom and his righteousness, and 88 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 2: all these things will be given to you as well. 89 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 2: God says, when you align your heart with my heart 90 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: and your plans with my purposes, I will give you 91 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 2: the things that the rest of the world has to 92 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: grasp for. I will give you the peace that millionaires 93 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: can't buy, I will give you. Come on, somebody, Every 94 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 2: good and perfect gift comes from above. And because I'm 95 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 2: in relationship with God, I have access to everything that 96 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 2: I need to be who He's called me to be, 97 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 2: to do what He's called me to do. And so 98 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: knowing these things, I seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, 99 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 2: and all these other factors will be taken care. 100 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: Of by my father. 101 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes when I'm preaching, I just get into 102 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 2: it myself and I forget you there. Therefore, therefore, do 103 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. 104 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 2: Each day has trouble of its own. Now, the people 105 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: that wrote the scriptures didn't put a chapter marker here, 106 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 2: so I'm going to keep going on in chapter seven 107 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 2: because it says here that this is a new chapter. 108 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: But to me, it's the same thought. 109 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 2: And this verse that comes next, this is the verse 110 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:09,679 Speaker 2: that everybody who smokes weed likes to quote. Do not judge, 111 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 2: or you too will be judged, for in the same 112 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 2: way you judge others, I just woke them up uptown. 113 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: In the same way you judge others, you will be judged. 114 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 2: And with the measure you use, it will be measured 115 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 2: to you. Why you look at the speck of sawdust 116 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 2: in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the 117 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 2: plank in your own eye? How can you say to 118 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 2: your brother, or your wife, or your husband, whoever, your boss, 119 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 2: your kid, how can you say, let me take the 120 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 2: speck out of your eye. Well, all the time there's 121 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 2: a plank in your own eye. You hypocrite, First the 122 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 2: plank out your own eye, then you will see clearly 123 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 124 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: Do not give dogs what is sacred. 125 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 2: I'm speaking to somebody right now who is selling yourself 126 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 2: short and lowering and compromising. Your Jesus said, do not 127 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 2: throw your pearls to pigs. Maybe you need to send 128 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 2: a text to that guy before you leave church today 129 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 2: and say, give me my pearls back. Don't even explain 130 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: it or put a verse by it, but you'll know 131 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 2: what it means. If you do, they may trample them 132 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 2: under their feet and turn in tear you to pieces. 133 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 2: I'll finish with verse seven, because we got to stop somewhere. 134 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 2: Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and 135 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 2: you will find. Knock and the door will be opened 136 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 2: to you. I want to call this message fix your Focus, 137 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 2: because I believe that the only thing you are ever 138 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 2: always in control of is your focus. So many factors 139 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: in your life are beyond your control, but one thing 140 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 2: you can always control, if you learn how to do it, 141 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: and if you're committed to it, is your focus. I 142 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 2: think that many relationships fail not because of a loss 143 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: of love, but because of a loss of focus. That 144 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 2: would be one of the reasons that a church fails 145 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 2: as well, while we're at it. 146 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: Is that you lose your focus. 147 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: When you stop caring about what God cares about, God 148 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 2: will no longer back you in your endeavor. And so 149 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 2: sometimes what we call failure is really just. 150 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: Broken focus. 151 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 2: It's the reason why the passion that exists in some 152 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 2: parts of relationships when it's getting started, tends to leak, 153 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 2: and you wonder where it went. It wasn't necessarily that 154 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 2: you lost the love. You lost the focus. It's very 155 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 2: difficult to keep that first love focus in any relationship. 156 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 2: I think Jesus is calling us back to focus. If 157 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 2: you'll notice the bread on the sandwich from the little 158 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: passage that we just read, Both of them start with 159 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 2: seeking seek first, his kingdom, ask and it will be 160 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 2: given to you. Seek and you will find on both 161 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 2: ends of this passage where Jesus is speaking on several 162 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 2: different subjects. Is this idea of focus, especially in our culture. 163 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 2: I think the focus when it comes to our relationship 164 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 2: tends to be a little broken. When I say that 165 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:40,599 Speaker 2: it's broken, I mean that it's misplaced and misleading. Sometimes 166 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 2: we're so focused. 167 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: On falling in love. 168 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 2: That we are very uneducated about the process of staying 169 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 2: in love. Talk to me anytime you want to. And 170 00:09:53,760 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 2: there's a romantic notion that is reinforce with every romantic 171 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 2: comedy that the falling part is where the excitement is. 172 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,079 Speaker 2: I was looking at an article getting ready for this 173 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 2: series where the author said there's a reason that fairy 174 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 2: tales end in marriage because nobody wants to see what 175 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 2: happens next. Nobody wants to talk about the other half. 176 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 2: So today, as I open this series, and it really 177 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 2: will get better every week, I hope that you'll bear 178 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 2: with me today as I lay a sort of foundation. 179 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 2: I want to talk about four decisions of focus that 180 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 2: you are making every area in your life. And I 181 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 2: know that some of you should be teaching the marriage 182 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 2: seminar all of you patron saints of marriage, been doing 183 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 2: it thirty and forty years and all of that. I'm 184 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 2: not quite on your level yet. I just celebrated my 185 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 2: fourteenth year. And while somebody's clapping for that, somebody else's. 186 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: Life ain't nothing married longer than you've been alive. 187 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 2: I'm gonna let some whip or snapper and some skinny 188 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 2: motocross jeans talk to me. 189 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,319 Speaker 1: Type Jens up here trying to tell me how you 190 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: married it. 191 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 2: But regardless of the stage of the relationship, it requires 192 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,319 Speaker 2: a certain kind of focus. That's all I want to 193 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 2: talk about today. So I want to lay out four areas. 194 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 2: I want you to take notice. Everybody write something down. 195 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 2: If you never written, write anything down because they don't 196 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 2: love God and don't care about his word. Now watch this. 197 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,559 Speaker 2: The first area you got to decide. You got to 198 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 2: decide your focus. Because you can always decide your focus. 199 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 2: You can't always decide about all the factors. You can't 200 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 2: always decide if somebody's gonna stay with you or leave. 201 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 2: You can't always decide if somebody's gonna ask you out. 202 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: You can always deide if they're gonna to tuch a back, 203 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 2: but you can always decide your focus. So is your 204 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 2: focus number one on finding or becoming? 205 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: Finding or becoming? 206 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 2: Jesus said, seek first the kingdom and the others we'll 207 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 2: move into position. But if you seek first the other stuff, 208 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 2: then you will have no center of gravity for the 209 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 2: stuff to revolve around. So it's important that your focus 210 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 2: is not I've been teaching this for years, man. I 211 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 2: used to go around to youth camps and I would 212 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 2: teach dating seminar and I would say, you know, it's 213 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 2: not an original quote from me, but I'll say it 214 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 2: all the time because I think it's true. Happiness isn't 215 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 2: finding the right person. Happiness is being the right person. 216 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 2: I'll take it further, since your applause is so tepid. 217 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 2: If you find the right person and you are not 218 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 2: the right person, what do you think you're going to 219 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 2: do to that poor right person? Now, I'm not suggesting, please, 220 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: I'm not suggesting that if you're not married or something 221 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 2: like that is because you're not ready yet. Because all 222 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 2: we have to do to disprove that stupid theory is 223 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 2: to look at some of the people who are married. 224 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: So mary doesn't equal ready. 225 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 2: Okay, I could offer you many examples of that, starting 226 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 2: with myself. But what I am saying is that it 227 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 2: is important to God. It as important to God that 228 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 2: you have the right people in your life. But the 229 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 2: only way you're going to have the right people in 230 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 2: your life is if you will be the right person 231 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,079 Speaker 2: in your heart. That's the only way. That's the only 232 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 2: way you're even going to attract them to begin with. 233 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: And that's the only thing you can control. 234 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 2: I can always can control whether this person comes into 235 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 2: my life, but I can control the kind of person 236 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 2: that I am. You know how you have little memories 237 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 2: from your childhood that are so random that you wonder 238 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 2: how they're still up there from all these years, and 239 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 2: you kind of wish you could delete them, because honestly, 240 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 2: you need that space for more important things like your 241 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 2: children's names and stuff that you forget sometimes. But I 242 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 2: have a memory. I don't know why. I remember in 243 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 2: sixth grade they gave us the Berkeley County Writing Test. 244 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,719 Speaker 1: I remember the prompt of the. 245 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 2: Berkeley County Writing Test when I was in the sixth grade, 246 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 2: almost word for word. Pretend that you are on an adventure, 247 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 2: or they called it a journey with your friend, and 248 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 2: on this adventure, or journey. 249 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: You come across a. 250 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 2: Valuable, unusual object, describe the object. A couple weeks later, 251 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 2: the teacher walked in with all of our writing tests 252 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 2: and made an announcement. 253 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: She said, I've never had this happen. 254 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 2: Before in however many years of teaching, but every single 255 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 2: one of you failed the Berkeley County writing test. 256 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 1: We laughed. She said, it's not a joke. 257 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: She said. 258 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: You wrote beautiful essays. You went into. 259 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 2: Great detail elaborating on the journey with your friends, but 260 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 2: that was not the writing prompt. The writing prompt was 261 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 2: not to describe the journey. The writing prompt was to 262 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 2: describe the object. All of you wrote essays about walking 263 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 2: through the woods with your friends. Some of you traveled 264 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 2: across the seas with your friends. Some of you flew 265 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 2: through space with your friends. It was highly entertaining, but 266 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 2: none of you described the object. 267 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: The object of relationship, the. 268 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 2: Object of love, is not that somebody else would complete you. 269 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Renee Zellwegger, but you got it wrong. Your 270 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 2: line was touching. It just wasn't true. Jerry didn't complete 271 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 2: you touch your neighbors. Say you can't complete me. Say 272 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 2: we teach this stuff no wonder are single people cut 273 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: their fists up ready to fight me when I want 274 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 2: to preach about marriage, because the way we preach. 275 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: It and teach it, we teach it like until you 276 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: get married, your life hasn't started. I only got one 277 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: question to ask you. If that's true, how can you 278 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: worship Jesus. 279 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 2: We worship a. 280 00:15:50,720 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: Guy who stayed single till they killed him, saying you 281 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: have to stay single and to be like Jesus. I'm 282 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: like hypocritic to say that, but I'm saying. I'm saying 283 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: if Paul would have. 284 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 2: Waited to fulfill his purpose until he had somebody to 285 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 2: complete him, we wouldn't. 286 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 1: Have twenty three percent of a New Testament. And we 287 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: teach it wrong. We teach it wrong. I've taught it wrong. 288 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: We teach it wrong. 289 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 2: In the Book of Genesis, God's describing marriage. You talking 290 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 2: about Adam, and even he says that you know, the 291 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 2: man shall leave his father and mother and go be 292 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 2: with his wife, and it says that the two will 293 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: become one. 294 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: Let me tell you what it doesn't say. 295 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 2: It doesn't say the halves will become whole. But yet 296 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 2: we teach it and we treat it, and we expected 297 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 2: like the halves are gonna become whole. But I found 298 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 2: out if you go into a marriage half the two halves. 299 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: Are gonna make hell, not whole. 300 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 2: It's great preaching, Pastor seen it. 301 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: That's very true, Pastor. So what is your focus? 302 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,479 Speaker 2: Eric, my best my best friend world is here. I mean, 303 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 2: Holly is my best friend, but this is my best 304 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 2: my best friend. This is a guy other than my 305 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 2: son's one of my friends. 306 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 1: Eric is here. He's uh. 307 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,880 Speaker 2: He's been my buddy since since high school, really since 308 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 2: middle school. We got in trouble together and Eric still 309 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 2: saved most days. And he he came over to my 310 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 2: house the other day we were gonna work out, and 311 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 2: he was all drumpy and sluggish and everything. 312 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,479 Speaker 1: I said, what's wrong with you? Man? 313 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 2: He said, well, he said, these I've been. 314 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: Up since four am. I said why. 315 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 2: He said, these kids, these punk kids in my neighborhood 316 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 2: and ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night. 317 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,719 Speaker 1: They've done it ten times. He said, I'm gonna catch them. Though, 318 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna catch them. 319 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 2: I had I had a. 320 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,400 Speaker 1: Camera on my doorbell. 321 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 2: There's I put a camera in my doorbell, and I'm 322 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 2: gonna catch them. 323 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,399 Speaker 1: But these kids are smart man, smart punks. 324 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 2: They came up. They covered the camera on the doorbell 325 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 2: ring from the side. 326 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 1: I'm gonna catch them, but I stopped in at ask 327 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 1: them a question. 328 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 2: I think it's a good question, I said, And what 329 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 2: will you do when you catch them? And that good 330 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 2: question if somebody's looking for a woman or looking for 331 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: a man, what will you do. 332 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: If you catch them? 333 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 2: But we are so focused on the catching that we 334 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 2: don't even pay attention to the commitment. 335 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: That is required back when I. 336 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 2: Note, so what is your focus? Is it what you 337 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 2: can control, which is what God is doing in your life, 338 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,920 Speaker 2: or is it finding? 339 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 1: You know you? I got to find a woman, then 340 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:38,440 Speaker 1: you got to find a ring. 341 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 2: Then you got to find some money, and you got 342 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 2: to find a date to get married and a place 343 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 2: to get married. Everybody can come to that, all on 344 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 2: the same date, working out continents, different continents, people coming 345 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 2: together from all these different places in the world. And 346 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 2: got to find the dresses for the bridesmade something that 347 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,440 Speaker 2: they'll all wear and won't complain about then look good against. 348 00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:58,840 Speaker 1: Their skin tone. 349 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 2: And you got to find a house and find a job, 350 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: and finding finding finding finding, finding finding finding finding You 351 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 2: see the pattern here. But God said, while all of 352 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 2: that has its place, if you will focus on becoming. 353 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 2: Remember he said, the two will become one. 354 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: That's the focus. What are you becoming? It's a good 355 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: question to ask. 356 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 2: Another thing that Jesus mentions is our tendency to live 357 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 2: in another time. So let me ask my second focus question. 358 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 2: Are you focused on then or now? 359 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 1: Then or now? 360 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 2: He said, don't worry about tomorrow, not because you don't 361 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,639 Speaker 2: have the tendency to, or not because it isn't reasonable to, 362 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 2: just because it doesn't work. 363 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: You know the Corey ten Boom quote. 364 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 2: You may not know that she said it, but she 365 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 2: said that worried does not empty tomorrow of it sorrow. 366 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 2: It only empties today of it strength. And I believe 367 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 2: that while we've talked so much about the importance of 368 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 2: not living in your past and the danger of living 369 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: in yesterday, I certainly think that a lot of relationships 370 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 2: are sabotaged by things that happened before they ever began, 371 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 2: that weren't dealt with, And so we project onto other 372 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 2: people trust issues that were developed because of another person's actions, 373 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 2: and start saying things to somebody that we just met, 374 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 2: like who's texting you, and it's not that you ever 375 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 2: caught him doing anything. It's just that it's been done 376 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: to you before. And so now your word, you're bringing 377 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 2: the past into the present, and that's dangerous. You got 378 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 2: to deal with that stuff. However, because my text led 379 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 2: me here, I was a little bit more fascinated with 380 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 2: this idea of how many of us live not in 381 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 2: the past, but in the future. Jesus said, don't worry 382 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 2: about tomorrow, and it is equally important that we don't 383 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 2: wish away today waiting for tomorrow to come. 384 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: Tomorrow is a sexy place to vacation in your mind. 385 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 2: Because it's totally imaginary. Tomorrow is a wonderful place to 386 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,199 Speaker 2: visit in your mind. It brings hope into the present. 387 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 2: I think it's cool to have a vision for the future, 388 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 2: you know. I think it's cool to think I had 389 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 2: plan ahead Iras and all of that. 390 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan. 391 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 2: But I do think at the same time, you can't 392 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 2: live there. But it's so nice to you know, it 393 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 2: is so freeing from the constraints of my current struggle, 394 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 2: which is so real. There's a shuttle myself to tomorrow. 395 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 4: Tomorrow. I love you Tomorrow. See how good it sounds 396 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 4: it is, I love you tomorrow. 397 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: You never hear anybody saying today. 398 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 1: See, it doesn't even sound. 399 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 2: As good, does it. It doesn't even have the same cadence today. 400 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 4: Today, I hate you. 401 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: Today, I wish you would go away. But tomorrow, tomorrow, 402 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 2: it's gonna be better tomorrow because my kids aren't gonna 403 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 2: be in diapers tomorrow. My kids are gonna be out 404 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 2: of high school tomorrow. I'm be an empty nester tomorrow 405 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 2: about my identity around my kids tomorrow. You know, my 406 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 2: spouse any aren't tomorrow. 407 00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: It's about focus. It's about focus, and the. 408 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: Only way, the only way till tomorrow is through today. 409 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 2: So you got to live there. You got to live there. 410 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 2: You can't do it like well, you know, if I 411 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 2: had a man, and I know that's easy for me 412 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 2: to say, I know us whatever is easy for me 413 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: to say, But it's kind of easy for you single 414 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,920 Speaker 2: people to tell us what marriage is like too, all right, 415 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 2: So we could all have a decent conversation, all right, 416 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 2: And by the way, I would just put it out 417 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 2: there to any of us who are married or single. 418 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 2: Let's talk within the realm of what we know, not 419 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 2: in the realm of what we think somebody. Have you 420 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 2: ever noticed how easy it is for you to give 421 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 2: advice when you're looking at what's in somebody else's I 422 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,400 Speaker 2: Jesus shifts gears in this teaching, and he's going from 423 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,679 Speaker 2: comfort to challenge, and God is good at both. So 424 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 2: he says, hey, I got you. 425 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: I know what you need. 426 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 2: You don't need somebody to complete You are already the 427 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 2: total package. You don't need clothes or food, any of 428 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,640 Speaker 2: these things. I know what you need, and you're good 429 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 2: in my sight. And your life doesn't begin when the 430 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 2: next stage starts. It starts right now, So don't worry 431 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 2: about it now. Don't judge just out of nowhere. What's 432 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 2: your focus? Is your focus on what is not or 433 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 2: what you've got. Everything I've preached to you has been 434 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 2: leading up to this point. So it's about to get good. 435 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 1: Touch your neighbor and tell them wake up. 436 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: This is the part I want to show you, real quick, 437 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 2: the two most important tools in any relationship. This is, incidentally, 438 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 2: the only time you will ever see me carrying one 439 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 2: of these. 440 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,639 Speaker 1: For illustrative purposes. 441 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,119 Speaker 2: One time Elijah saw me, he was about seven, and 442 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 2: he saw me pull out my little toolbox. About that 443 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 2: big And he said, Daddy, you have one of those 444 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:15,920 Speaker 2: to blow to my masculinity. But I would say, right now, 445 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 2: when you think about your intimate relationships, and an intimate 446 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 2: relationship can be with the parent, can be with whatever 447 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 2: you do your own application. Okay, I can't do everything 448 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 2: for you. I mean I can put the food on 449 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 2: the plate, I can't chew it. So when you think 450 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 2: about that, the first tool, if you reach in here, 451 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,439 Speaker 2: that you have in any relationship. Somebody say, focus, This 452 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 2: is the first tool that you have in any relationship. 453 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 2: It is the ability to magnify whatever you choose to magnify. 454 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: Right, So Jesus said, when. 455 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 2: You make that little speck that's in somebody else's eyes, 456 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: huge thing. Now, now let's break this down, because if 457 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 2: you're going to see a speck in somebody's eye, what 458 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:12,159 Speaker 2: do you have to be to see a speck in 459 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 2: somebody else's eye? Right? That's not something you see from 460 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 2: a distance. Right. 461 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: You could have I boogers all up in your eye. 462 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 2: I can't see it from the stage. But if I'm 463 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 2: noticing a speck in your eye, that means we're close. 464 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 2: And a lot of people fear intimacy because I don't 465 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 2: want you to see into me. 466 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: So I keep people at a distance. 467 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 2: If I can stay up on the stage and only 468 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,560 Speaker 2: let you meet my representative but not see my reality, 469 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 2: then maybe you'll stay in love with me. But I'm 470 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 2: scared to let you get up close because I have 471 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 2: this spec And people do the craziest thing, because when 472 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 2: you're first in a relationship with somebody. 473 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 1: Magnify all the amazing things about them. Wow, look how 474 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: funny she is? Look out look, how look? How look 475 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:12,880 Speaker 1: how laid back he is. 476 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 2: You don't know that laid back is really code for lazy, 477 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 2: but you will if you marry him. 478 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 5: Come on, Wow, it's amazing what you will magnify in 479 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 5: the beginning of a relationship. 480 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 2: That'll make you love somebody that you will take for granted. 481 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 2: When you get into the relationship and get close and 482 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 2: you choose, in any relationship or in any season of 483 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 2: your life, you choose what you magnify. I hear single 484 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,160 Speaker 2: people talking about their lonely. I hear married people talking 485 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 2: about their lonely. I heard a married couple the other 486 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 2: day talk about having no friends, and it brought them 487 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 2: to tears. Well, there was a time where they would 488 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 2: have said to each other, all I need is you. 489 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 1: But then you get with them and you. 490 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:10,840 Speaker 2: Realize, well, they're not a savior. And if I'm going 491 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 2: to be happy in the season of my. 492 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 5: Life, I got to choose what I magnify, what I 493 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 5: make bigger. 494 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 1: Write this down. 495 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 2: What you magnify, you get more of what you magnify, 496 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:30,399 Speaker 2: you get more of focus. I'm deciding any given moment 497 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 2: in a relationship what I'm focusing on. 498 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: I was so mad at my dad. 499 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 2: I was so mad at that man because he was impossible. 500 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 2: In the last two years of his life, he was impossible. 501 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 2: He wouldn't let us take care of him. So he 502 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 2: moved away. He went to go live by himself. He 503 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 2: was dying, but he wouldn't let my mom take care 504 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 2: of him. He wouldn't let us take care of him. 505 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 2: Anytime we try to put a plan together, he would 506 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 2: just blow it up. I was so mad at him. 507 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 2: I got to the point where my dad, anytime I 508 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 2: would try to talk to him on the phone, we 509 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 2: couldn't have a conversation. This went on for months. When 510 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 2: we would get on the phone, he would go into 511 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 2: a rage. Within two minutes. It would start here and 512 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 2: it would quickly escalate, and I was so mad at him. 513 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 2: I would send people that I would pay for to 514 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 2: go and take care of him, and he would fire them. 515 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 2: He fired four people that I sent to take care 516 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 2: of him because he wouldn't stay here and let us 517 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 2: take care of him. I couldn't see at the time 518 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 2: that he wasn't responding out of his own will. He 519 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 2: was responding out of his pain. Because when you're in 520 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 2: something like that, you don't see the person's intentions or 521 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 2: you don't see you don't see the place that is 522 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 2: coming from. You only feel how it's affecting you. I 523 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: was so mad at him, and I just decided, well, 524 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: find if he has to die and we can't speak, 525 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 2: I can't have somebody treat me like this. 526 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: I was so mad about it, And in the middle 527 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 1: of being. 528 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 2: So mad about it, my father in law said something 529 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 2: to me that made me so upset, because the last 530 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 2: thing you want to hear when you're. 531 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 1: Upset is something like this. 532 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 2: He said, well, try to remember the good times. Try 533 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 2: to remember the good times. He did a lot of things, right, Well, 534 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: shut up, that's right. This is the one time you're 535 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 2: not allowed to say amen while I'm preaching. And it 536 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: was Father's Day of you know, twenty twelve, twenty thirteen. 537 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 2: Forgive me for being imprecise on the date, but. 538 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: My memory of it is. 539 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 2: That I was driving home from vacation with the family 540 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 2: on Father's Day, feeling bad that I couldn't do anything 541 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 2: with my dad, and my father in law's voice in 542 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 2: my head. He did a lot of things right. And 543 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,840 Speaker 2: I came to an idea, and I asked Holly if 544 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 2: we could pull over and switch and she could drive, 545 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 2: because we were going through the town where I grew up, 546 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,040 Speaker 2: where my dad was living by himself. And I had 547 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 2: the idea right down, one memory for every year that 548 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 2: he was your dad, and take it to the house 549 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 2: and give it to him, one good memory from every 550 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 2: year he was your dad. And man, I'm telling you, 551 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 2: when I first started making that list, my pen was 552 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 2: moving so slow. I mean, it was all I could 553 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 2: do to get a letter on the page. I was 554 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 2: so mad at him. I was so mad at him 555 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 2: because all I could see is how he's treating me 556 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 2: right now. But when I started writing, I started remembering, 557 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 2: and so I remembered the first thing. I kind of 558 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 2: remembered was when I played on the Pirates and he 559 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:43,480 Speaker 2: was my coach, and we sucked so bad that he 560 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 2: wouldn't let any of us swing at the plate. He 561 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 2: made us all bunt every time we were at back 562 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 2: for the whole season. So I wrote that down, bunting. 563 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,760 Speaker 2: It was my first word. It got me started. Then 564 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 2: I remembered about a fourteen that he couldn't find a 565 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 2: way to connect with me because I was into music, 566 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 2: he was into fishing. And he took me to a 567 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: punk rock concert in Ladson, South Carolina. The worst music 568 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 2: that you've ever heard in your life was played in 569 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 2: that VW hall that day, But he he took me 570 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,440 Speaker 2: and sat with me, and I wrote down punk rock 571 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:29,320 Speaker 2: concert Ladson, And then I started remembering how after he 572 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: gave his life to Christ. 573 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,240 Speaker 1: He wanted me to go to church with him. 574 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 2: One of his customers in his barbershop had invited him 575 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,480 Speaker 2: to their church revival. Now this was not like a 576 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 2: cod orange revival that's uplifting. This was like a hell 577 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 2: fire and brimstone revival. And the preacher was preaching so 578 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 2: hard that we went out to this little country church 579 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 2: and me and my dad wondered what have we gotten 580 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 2: ourselves into? And they seated us on the front row. 581 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 2: Were there on the front row in this independent fundamentalist 582 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 2: Baptist church, and all the women are in dresses and everything. 583 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 2: We're in t sh and we're sitting there in the church, 584 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 2: not knowing what we're getting ourselves into. 585 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:04,520 Speaker 1: And the preacher got so fired up. 586 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 2: At one point this little boy stood up and he shouted. 587 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 2: But he didn't say, Amen, praise the Lord, preach preacher. 588 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 2: Here's what a little boy said. 589 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 1: He said, lock the wild hog. 590 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:25,239 Speaker 6: I never heard that shout before, so I wrote down, 591 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 6: let the wild hog ee. 592 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 2: Mean. I knocked on the door and got the house 593 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 2: and handed in the list. 594 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,360 Speaker 1: I said, here. I didn't even hug him. 595 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,959 Speaker 2: I was here. I made your list thirty two things. 596 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,960 Speaker 2: He said, how did you remember this stuff? Because you choose. 597 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: What you magnify. And our story had a happy ending. 598 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 2: You know, we reconciled, not right at that moment. At 599 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 2: that moment, I handed him the list and walked out. 600 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 2: We don't want to see him, but it started something. 601 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 2: And I know reconciliation is not always possible on that life. 602 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 2: And I'm not even saying that it's always preferable. What 603 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 2: I am saying is that whatever you've lost, if you 604 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 2: choose to magnify it, you're going to live in what 605 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 2: you lost. Whatever they're doing to you right now. If 606 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,880 Speaker 2: you want to magnify that, you can forget the thousand 607 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 2: nice things that they said because of the one text 608 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 2: that they sent that said that one thing that they 609 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 2: weren't even thinking about, and in your mind, you will 610 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 2: begin to magnify. 611 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 1: Man, we should use these more in. 612 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:31,280 Speaker 2: Dating because we don't look for anything any warning signs 613 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 2: and dating we don't ask any questions about their bank account. 614 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 2: Well they love God, yes, but do they have grocery money? Right? See, 615 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 2: you need one of these in a dating relationship. 616 00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 1: You need to see as. 617 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 2: Many as NX as you can see. 618 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,720 Speaker 1: But then you have to use it for a different purpose. 619 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,479 Speaker 2: In marriage. You got to use it in a close 620 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: relationship where you're committed. Look, if you come to this 621 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,880 Speaker 2: church look for crap to get mad about. Let me 622 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 2: save you a whole lot of time and searching out 623 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 2: for you will find. What you look for, you will find, 624 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,720 Speaker 2: seek and you will find. Isn't that what Jesus said 625 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 2: now that applies. 626 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: To the good things and the bad things. 627 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 2: And this is one thing that my wife is really 628 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 2: good at, and I'm excited she's teaching the ladies of it. 629 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 2: In a couple of a couple of weeks, I think 630 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,799 Speaker 2: they said Elevation Ladies Night dot Com. They said, I'll 631 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 2: get to come to I'm uncom Let me see what 632 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 2: y'all are talking about while we're not there. Any you know, 633 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:48,120 Speaker 2: in any time in a relationship that see what you magnify. 634 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,200 Speaker 2: And I don't know if we understand the power that 635 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 2: we have to magnify things in other people that we 636 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 2: can bring out of them the good stuff. 637 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if we understand the power that we have. 638 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:58,840 Speaker 2: I told you at the beginning of my sermon that 639 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,040 Speaker 2: I've been traveling a lot lately in preaching, and so 640 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,839 Speaker 2: when I do that, I always feel like I'm cheating home. 641 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: No matter how much I try. 642 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 2: I probably not doing as bad of a job as 643 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 2: I think I am, but I tend to be really 644 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 2: hard on myself. So wherever I'm giving, I'm feeling guilty 645 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 2: about where I'm not giving or you like that. So 646 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,480 Speaker 2: it's like ezever enough, And so I'm sitting there feeling bad. 647 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 2: And one Saturday morning, I had all my notes for 648 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 2: the sermon that weekend spread out on the table, and 649 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 2: I've been gone somewhere else preaching all week, so I'm 650 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 2: feeling kind of behind and a little just a little 651 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 2: bit distracted. The kids are all around me. They're trying 652 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 2: to get my attention. I'm paying them no attention, and 653 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 2: they're screaming my name, and I'm not listening and all 654 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,080 Speaker 2: of that. And I know I'm not listening, and I 655 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 2: kind of don't care because I got to get this 656 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 2: sermon ready, but I kind of feel awful about it. 657 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 2: I'm just feeling that thing, like I'm stretched apart. And 658 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 2: if you don't have a lot of little kids around, 659 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,840 Speaker 2: maybe this wouldn't apply to you. But I think everybody's 660 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 2: felt this way at some point, just like, well, I 661 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,720 Speaker 2: can't give enough to anybody anywhere. 662 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 7: And feeling really like a failure was a very mild level, 663 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 7: but I felt it. I'm feeling up tight and all 664 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,399 Speaker 7: that stuff, and I need to be a good dad, 665 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,640 Speaker 7: but I also need to be a good pastor, and 666 00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,839 Speaker 7: I don't know how to be both at the same time. 667 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 7: In their feeling mother and the kids are yelling, and 668 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,040 Speaker 7: I'm kind of mad at them and annoyed with them. 669 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:03,799 Speaker 1: But it's not their fault. 670 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm the one that's been gone and they. 671 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:06,760 Speaker 1: Really just want anyway. 672 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 2: Holly speaks up and she goes, kids, your dad is 673 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:18,799 Speaker 2: a great man. I hope when you grow up that 674 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 2: you grow up to be a hard worker like your dad. 675 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,960 Speaker 2: He's been gone all week, preaching, doing what God called 676 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,800 Speaker 2: him to do, and providing for our family. 677 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:30,200 Speaker 1: And now look at him. 678 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,319 Speaker 2: He's got these notes spread all over this kitchen table. 679 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. She made me feel in 680 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 1: just one little speech, one little. 681 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 2: Speech, she made me feel. She made me bigger. I'm 682 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,240 Speaker 2: telling you, ladies, you can make amend. 683 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: It's bigger. You can't. You can make him stronger. 684 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 2: You can make him bring in more groceries from the car. 685 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,280 Speaker 1: Just tell him how strong years I'm telling you Holly. 686 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 2: I don't know where she learned this, but when we 687 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 2: first got married, I was carrying in the groceries from 688 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 2: the car one day. I don't do that anymore, That's 689 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,839 Speaker 2: what I kissed for. But I was carrying in. 690 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,440 Speaker 1: The groceries one day, and I had a. 691 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 2: Couple of bags, you know, a couple bags bagged around 692 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 2: my arm. 693 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:13,760 Speaker 1: Bags everywhere. 694 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 2: I had bags coming in the house and I said, 695 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 2: I'm coming in the house and Holly. 696 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,879 Speaker 1: Said, Holly said, how do you do that? I said, well, 697 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,400 Speaker 1: it's easy. You know, it's easy for me. 698 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 2: So I started curling the grocery bags. I grabbed a couple. 699 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,319 Speaker 2: I put a grocery bag in my teeth. I put 700 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:36,720 Speaker 2: one around my neck. Why because she magnified something so small, 701 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:39,920 Speaker 2: and you magnified the little. 702 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,720 Speaker 1: Thing and it gets bigger. 703 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,440 Speaker 2: You magnify what you don't have, and it gets bigger 704 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 2: in your mind until all you can see is what 705 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 2: you don't have. You magnify what they're not, or do 706 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 2: you magnify what they've got? See? I think this makes 707 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 2: all the difference. Are you coming back next week to me? 708 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:04,479 Speaker 1: This is good? 709 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,439 Speaker 2: Are you going to bring somebody with you next week 710 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 2: who needs to hear this? That was less enthusiastic. I 711 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 2: know they will at rock Hill campus. They bring a 712 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 2: lot of people at rock Hill. So what is your focus? 713 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,319 Speaker 2: Jesus said, You can look at the spec you can. 714 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:21,719 Speaker 1: Look at the plank. 715 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,320 Speaker 2: It's interesting to me because, knowing very little about carpentry, 716 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,759 Speaker 2: I do realize that the sawdust comes from the same 717 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:31,160 Speaker 2: material that the plank is made of. Usually, when I 718 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 2: see something in someone else that makes me angry offended, 719 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 2: it's because it represents something that's in me. So I 720 00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,920 Speaker 2: told you there were two tools in there are when 721 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 2: it comes to the relationships that matter the most, and 722 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 2: when it comes to the things that offend us and 723 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 2: other people. Because everybody has issues and most of us 724 00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:03,480 Speaker 2: have a subscription. You know what a great dating conversation 725 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 2: would be what kind of crazy are you? 726 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,320 Speaker 1: Because I can't tell. 727 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,120 Speaker 2: From this distance, but if I get close to you, 728 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,880 Speaker 2: but you know all these issues, you got to decide. 729 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:25,440 Speaker 2: Am I going to focus on theirs or mine? Because 730 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,439 Speaker 2: I think the key to this thing of loving the Lord, 731 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,560 Speaker 2: our God with all our heart, with all our soul, 732 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,319 Speaker 2: with all our mind, and with all our strength, and 733 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:32,960 Speaker 2: loving our neighbor as ourselves. 734 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:42,279 Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to put down this and pick up this. 735 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 2: And just ask God, So, Lord, what is it that 736 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 2: you're trying to teach me, or what is it that 737 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 2: I can change? 738 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,359 Speaker 1: Because I tried. 739 00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:01,680 Speaker 2: Changing Charlie and Charlie won't change. So here I am Lord, 740 00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,839 Speaker 2: And in the words of the King of pop if 741 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 2: you want to make the world a better place where 742 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:11,360 Speaker 2: you're going to start. 743 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 1: Sometimes you've got to start with your own self. 744 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,480 Speaker 2: And God says, you can't even help the people that 745 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:22,880 Speaker 2: you love when you're infected with the very issue that 746 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:23,880 Speaker 2: you're trying to solve. 747 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,280 Speaker 1: So it's loved the Lord your. 748 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 2: God, that's one half, But it's also loved your neighbor 749 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:32,760 Speaker 2: as yourself. 750 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 1: That's the other half. 751 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 2: You can't have this half right and not have this 752 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:43,960 Speaker 2: half right. You can't treat people like garbage and worship 753 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:49,399 Speaker 2: God at the same time. You can't get this right though. 754 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:53,080 Speaker 2: Until you get this right, you can't treat people well 755 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,080 Speaker 2: if you don't know God loves you, and you can't 756 00:41:55,120 --> 00:42:01,400 Speaker 2: love God until you have received his love freely. And 757 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,200 Speaker 2: that's what makes it across. That's what makes it across. 758 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,759 Speaker 2: That's what makes it complete, is that it's this and 759 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:14,319 Speaker 2: it's this. One thing I never noticed, though, is that 760 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 2: Jesus said you'd love the Lord your God with all 761 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,319 Speaker 2: your heart, soul, mind, strength. We go around trying to 762 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,880 Speaker 2: love people and we're not even whole within ourselves. But 763 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,320 Speaker 2: the other thing is that he said love your neighbor 764 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,720 Speaker 2: as yourself. Now, I've always known that that was a command, 765 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:35,040 Speaker 2: but it's also just an observation that the way you 766 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:43,320 Speaker 2: love your neighbor is the way you love yourself. If 767 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,600 Speaker 2: you haven't received God's acceptance of you, you won't be 768 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,000 Speaker 2: able to accept anybody else as they are because you 769 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:55,920 Speaker 2: don't even love yourself. And so a lot of times 770 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 2: it starts there. 771 00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: It starts with saying. 772 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 2: God, I can't go into these relationships anymore half. 773 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,240 Speaker 1: Empty and needing people. Sometimes I'm so needy. 774 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,239 Speaker 2: I was asking God the other day to help me 775 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 2: not be so hard on others, and God said, well, first, 776 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,239 Speaker 2: you're going to have to not be so hard on you, 777 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:20,319 Speaker 2: because what starts here, flows here, flows here, flows here, 778 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:27,640 Speaker 2: flows here. And I just wanted to begin this series 779 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 2: today asking you where is your focus? Because if another 780 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 2: person is at the center of your focus and they're 781 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,760 Speaker 2: responsible for the fulfillment of your joy, you're. 782 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,200 Speaker 1: Going to always be miserable. 783 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 2: If you're trying to do God's job in fixing somebody 784 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,000 Speaker 2: else and you have a focus on what they need 785 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:53,319 Speaker 2: to become. Let me tell you something, there is no 786 00:43:53,960 --> 00:44:00,160 Speaker 2: worse strategy for your own personal satisfaction in life to 787 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:09,480 Speaker 2: place that responsibility in someone else's hands. So for all 788 00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,600 Speaker 2: of us who have been saying, you know, I need 789 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 2: someone to complete me, or I need you to complete me, 790 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 2: or I need this. The message I think God has 791 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,440 Speaker 2: for us today. 792 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,160 Speaker 1: Is give me my job back. 793 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,320 Speaker 2: I'm a good God, I'm a good father. 794 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 1: I know what you need. 795 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,759 Speaker 2: And here's the difference between God and everybody else in 796 00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 2: your life. 797 00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,000 Speaker 1: Not only does he know what. 798 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,440 Speaker 2: You need, he has what you need and he's the 799 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,080 Speaker 2: only one who has what you need. 800 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,160 Speaker 1: I want you to stand up on. 801 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,120 Speaker 2: Your feet at every location I want to pray for you. 802 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,719 Speaker 2: We're gonna get into this over the next several weeks. 803 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,880 Speaker 2: We're gonna get into this. We're gonna get into it 804 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,120 Speaker 2: so deep that there's gonna be healing that's gonna happen 805 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,200 Speaker 2: in your heart. God is gonna open he said, if 806 00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 2: you would knock, the door would be open. If you 807 00:44:54,640 --> 00:45:00,600 Speaker 2: would seek, you would find where is your focus. Let's 808 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,400 Speaker 2: take a moment before we rush out of here and 809 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,960 Speaker 2: hank it people in the parking lot. 810 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,320 Speaker 1: After we worship God, let's close our eyes. 811 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,399 Speaker 2: And just lift our hands to Heaven. 812 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 1: Would you do that? 813 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,719 Speaker 2: Some of you never done that before. Just go ahead 814 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 2: and do it right now. Just lift your hands to 815 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,520 Speaker 2: your Father. And I want you to just begin to 816 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 2: magnify the Lord and all of the good things that 817 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,160 Speaker 2: He's placed in your life. Some of you are lonely today, 818 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,640 Speaker 2: and I understand, and God understands. 819 00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 1: And it's okay to be lonely. It's okay. 820 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,640 Speaker 2: It's a part of the human experience. Jesus went through 821 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 2: a loneliness so severe that he prayed that the cup would. 822 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:34,560 Speaker 1: Be passed from him. 823 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 2: The ones who should have been there for him abandoned 824 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:37,600 Speaker 2: him in his hour of need. 825 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 1: He knew what it was like to be lonely. He 826 00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:41,560 Speaker 1: knows what it's like to be lonely, and. 827 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 2: He wants to stand up on the inside of you 828 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 2: right now and remind you that He is your completion, 829 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,880 Speaker 2: your satisfaction, and your fulfillment. Father, I thank you today 830 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,839 Speaker 2: for every person that you brought to church. I thank 831 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 2: you for the work you're doing in our lives. I 832 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,880 Speaker 2: thank you that we are full and complete in Jesus Christ. 833 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,440 Speaker 2: That we have all that we need in Him, That 834 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,120 Speaker 2: all that we need is in Him. That all that 835 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,760 Speaker 2: we need to be good husbands, to be good wives, 836 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,880 Speaker 2: all that we need to fulfill your purpose in a 837 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,040 Speaker 2: season of singleness, all that we need to be good parents. 838 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 2: All that we need to forgive people that we need 839 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,480 Speaker 2: to forgive, all that we need is in you. And 840 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,000 Speaker 2: so our focus now is not on what we're not, 841 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 2: but who you are. 842 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,520 Speaker 1: We thank you God. Let's look at and clap. 843 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,680 Speaker 2: Our hands for the awesome God that you are, for 844 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,200 Speaker 2: the amazing God that you are, for the strong God 845 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:30,319 Speaker 2: that you are, or the capable God that you are. 846 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:31,680 Speaker 1: Come on and praise him. 847 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,680 Speaker 2: When you praise him, when you magnify him, he releases 848 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:43,239 Speaker 2: bless us and you. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. 849 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 2: Special thanks to those of you who give generously to 850 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 2: this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible. 851 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,200 Speaker 2: You can click the link in the description to give 852 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,200 Speaker 2: now or visit Elevation Church dot org slash podcast for 853 00:46:56,280 --> 00:47:00,320 Speaker 2: more information and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. 854 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:01,840 Speaker 1: You can share it with your friends. 855 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,400 Speaker 2: You can click the share button, take a screenshot and 856 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 2: share it on your social stories and tag us at 857 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:07,480 Speaker 2: Elevation Church. 858 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:08,520 Speaker 1: Thanks again for listening. 859 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:14,160 Speaker 2: God, bless you