WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: Does Being A "Hotwife" Really Turn Him On?  

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<v Speaker 1>If you would like to have us answer your questions.

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<v Speaker 2>If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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<v Speaker 2>a terrible threatfle guess what You've got Decisions? Hey, y'all,

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<v Speaker 2>welcome back to another You've Got Decisions. I'm your girl, Wheezy.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in the studio today with our producer Denisha, and

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to figure out what y'all got problems with

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<v Speaker 2>this time. If you haven't already pre ordered, no holds barred.

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<v Speaker 2>We have a masterclass that we actually have released Insane.

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<v Speaker 2>Mandy and I sit down go through modules on things

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<v Speaker 2>that are actually in the book, like hot Eat Pussy,

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<v Speaker 2>how to date correctly with a matchmaker, how to safely

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<v Speaker 2>practice BDSM, how to get over a breakup. There's so

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<v Speaker 2>many cool things attached. If you've already pre ordered, go

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<v Speaker 2>to the Decisions Decisions ig fill out the form, upload

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<v Speaker 2>your receipt whom you're in the master class.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, let me lubricate this whole up problem. Well hmm,

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<v Speaker 1>now Bebby.

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<v Speaker 2>You know he should have left a voice message this

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<v Speaker 2>how loneess is okay? Hiweezy and Mandy, But today's Nisha.

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<v Speaker 2>Longtime listeners since twenty eighteen. Let me get to the point. Oh, then,

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<v Speaker 2>how are the five more paragroes. I apologize in advance

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<v Speaker 2>for this long message. My boyfriend and I have been

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<v Speaker 2>together for seven years. I'm thirty, he's thirty one. He

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<v Speaker 2>told me he discovered a kink that he enjoyed based

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<v Speaker 2>on some things that.

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<v Speaker 1>Happened early on in our relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>For the first year of us dating and being together,

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<v Speaker 2>I would occasionally talk to other guys, meaning talking text,

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<v Speaker 2>no dating or anything. They were like friends to me

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<v Speaker 2>because I'd known these guys years before I met my boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 2>Even though I knew a few of them liked me.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course, I saw no issue with talking to them.

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<v Speaker 2>I kept everything appropriate. My boyfriend didn't like it, expressed

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<v Speaker 2>how he felt disrespected. At the time, I was twenty

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<v Speaker 2>two to twenty three, I was young.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh they've been together ten y Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Just called him insecure or thought he was controlling, And

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<v Speaker 2>after a real sit down and listening to his feelings,

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<v Speaker 2>I understood where he was coming from. And I realized

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<v Speaker 2>that none of the guys I was talking to serve purpose,

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<v Speaker 2>so I pretty much cut off communication.

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<v Speaker 1>Time goes on.

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<v Speaker 2>He's obsessing with trying to catch me with these guys

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<v Speaker 2>or excuse me of being with other guys, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was getting overwhelmed but trying to prove to him that

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't doing anything. He eventually admitted to me three

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<v Speaker 2>years ago that he got a rush from reading old

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<v Speaker 2>dms and messages between me and the other guys.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you know it was gonna go there? Because I

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<v Speaker 1>knew he was gonna go there, it turned him on

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<v Speaker 1>the thought of him seeing me with another man.

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<v Speaker 2>He did his research and found out the kink behind

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<v Speaker 2>it is being called a hot life slash stag. He

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<v Speaker 2>informed me of everything and wanted to know how we

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<v Speaker 2>could keep this kink fantasy going for him, so I

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<v Speaker 2>agreed to try to figure it out, even though I

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<v Speaker 2>had no desire to.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk to another man. Girl, everybody listen is like okay.

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<v Speaker 2>We first tried with me just being myself and telling

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<v Speaker 2>him in detail with other experiences with men while we

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<v Speaker 2>were having sex, which was only because I've only been

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<v Speaker 2>with one other guy since him. Yes, I'm thirty and

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<v Speaker 2>I've only been with two guys. Ever, thank you for

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<v Speaker 2>listening to the show for so long. Or he would

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<v Speaker 2>like me to make up stories of being with some

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<v Speaker 2>of the guys that I was talking to in the beginning.

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<v Speaker 2>Once the kink was kind of getting old, I assume

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<v Speaker 2>you meant to say, we moved to fet life. He

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<v Speaker 2>would make a post seeking men to sext me on

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<v Speaker 2>Snapchat and he only wanted me to interact with guys

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<v Speaker 2>that were bigger than him and dick size.

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<v Speaker 1>What is up with this Kanye shit.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not a shading a man, by the way, but

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<v Speaker 2>there is something with humiliation and dick size that is

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<v Speaker 2>go to for men, and humiliation is a part of

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<v Speaker 2>this kink too. Granted he isn't that small at all.

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<v Speaker 2>He's a good seven and a half to eight. I

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<v Speaker 2>did that for a while because I really started to

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<v Speaker 2>get annoyed because I didn't even like any of the guys,

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<v Speaker 2>which made it hard for me to have a fake

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<v Speaker 2>interest in sexting. Then we went on other apps like

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<v Speaker 2>black BLK and three fund.

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<v Speaker 1>I told him that sexty and which I never heard

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<v Speaker 1>three fund.

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<v Speaker 2>I told him that sexting the strangers made me uncomfortable

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't want to do it anymore, but he

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<v Speaker 2>just won't get the point. He would try to bring

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<v Speaker 2>that up and that doing this is helping him with jealousy,

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<v Speaker 2>and he's creating an open space for me to desire

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<v Speaker 2>other men.

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<v Speaker 1>The problem is I don't desire anyone else.

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<v Speaker 2>He would also say that I'm the reason that he

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<v Speaker 2>discovered this, and if I wouldn't have done what I

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<v Speaker 2>did in the vast we wouldn't be where we are now.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll just think shit, and I feel like it's affecting

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<v Speaker 2>our sex life because he always wants to talk to

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<v Speaker 2>me about other scenarios and I'm over it, even when

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<v Speaker 2>I make them up.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what else to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Every time I try to tell him I'm not interested

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<v Speaker 2>in the kink, he tries to say that I'm judging

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<v Speaker 2>him or kink shaming, and I'm not any advice on

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<v Speaker 2>how I could get him to truly understand that I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to act on this. Well, no shade, Sis,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to shade your relationship or this cake.

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<v Speaker 2>But you could have got that out in a paragraph, Denise. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually joking. I kind of like it because the

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<v Speaker 2>extra detail makes it more fun. But I don't even

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<v Speaker 2>know what to say because I know everyone if you

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<v Speaker 2>like a cook, cook and hot wife. I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>read that cutcolding is watching someone else have sex with

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<v Speaker 2>your partner while you do nothing. The hot wife, at

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<v Speaker 2>its core is a woman that has sexual relationships with

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<v Speaker 2>other men with consent, full knowledge, and sometimes and most

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<v Speaker 2>times with encouragement of the other partner. It's normally a

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<v Speaker 2>married woman who gets to fuck as many people as

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<v Speaker 2>you want, and the husband doesn't do it himself, because

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<v Speaker 2>then in that case it would then be like lifestyle,

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<v Speaker 2>open relationship whatever. A stag is the man itself. So

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<v Speaker 2>here's what I would tell you, he's getting a little

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<v Speaker 2>ridiculous with every time you have sex.

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<v Speaker 1>He needs to talk about this.

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<v Speaker 2>If every time I had sex I needed to get choked,

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't even do that. I don't know how to

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<v Speaker 2>explicitly give you advice on how to tell someone no,

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<v Speaker 2>because the no isn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Seeming to work. The only thing that I would try

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<v Speaker 1>to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Is tell him that since because it seems like you

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<v Speaker 2>did enjoy it in the beginning, or it could have

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<v Speaker 2>been fun, but then it's like this became something obsessive. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>he's being very manipulative by telling you it's kink shaming.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to have to hold the mirror up and

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<v Speaker 2>be like, yo, when is the last time you had

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<v Speaker 2>sex with me and we didn't bring up other people.

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<v Speaker 2>This isn't about me kink shaming. This is about me

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<v Speaker 2>wanting to just have sex with you. I'm interested in you.

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<v Speaker 2>You see to be interested in other things while fucking me.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes me feel like XYZ. Sometimes just saying I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to I'm bored, da da da. It gives

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<v Speaker 2>people this openness to thinking we just need persuasiveness or

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<v Speaker 2>we're just not horny enough.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to actually talk about how it makes you feel.

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<v Speaker 2>You can say even things where it sounds ridiculous maybe

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<v Speaker 2>to him, But sometimes I feel like you don't even

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<v Speaker 2>enjoy this fantasy with me. This is about just having

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<v Speaker 2>someone to do it with you. And I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if I could keep exploring something that doesn't feel like

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<v Speaker 2>it's an US thing. I figured having sex with you

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<v Speaker 2>would be something exciting for us. Feels very one sided.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like you don't want to please me at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Like those are ways to hold up the mirror, because

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<v Speaker 2>it is crazy that as women we have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Be like no, no, no no.

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<v Speaker 2>I also almost feel a little bad for joking, like

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<v Speaker 2>go fuck that other nigga, because when we hear this story,

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<v Speaker 2>we're like, duh, we want to try this thing, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's not like that for everybody, And so I think

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<v Speaker 2>I want to use this time to maybe talk about

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<v Speaker 2>something where we were like, I'm not into that.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it happening you yet? I feel like you ain't

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<v Speaker 1>fuck a lot ofth No.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm also like her thirty and of only mimity people,

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<v Speaker 3>so I can relate to a sist. But honestly, you

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<v Speaker 3>know nothing that I haven't been. No.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had just exploring on apps like sex apps and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of people tell me that their partners couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>exercise this kink with them and that's why they were

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<v Speaker 2>on the apps.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if there's a world for that, Like are you.

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<v Speaker 2>Even comfortable with that? Can he just do this thing

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<v Speaker 2>and you're not included in this fantasy? That's also ridiculous

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<v Speaker 2>as a suggestion, because I know that's not what you

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<v Speaker 2>want to hear. But I guess I'm trying to find

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<v Speaker 2>the world where when I answer some of these questions,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm talking outside of you right now, when I

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<v Speaker 2>answer some of these questions, am I giving you the

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<v Speaker 2>advice that I would want.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's my real advice.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how safe I would feel in a

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<v Speaker 2>relationship where I'm constantly being told I'm kink shamey, or

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<v Speaker 2>I did something wrong and now I have to sexually

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<v Speaker 2>act on something.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to make it too dark. But did

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<v Speaker 2>he Cassie Coercion. Sure he's not that bad or rich

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<v Speaker 2>and famous, but this is all like umbrella of manipulative

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<v Speaker 2>sex and that shit don't feel good. In the book,

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<v Speaker 2>I even talk about my ex saying to me, there

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<v Speaker 2>were these girls I wanted to fuck us. It would

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<v Speaker 2>have been our first like foursome, and these girls wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to hit He literally looks at me like, come on, baby,

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<v Speaker 2>we can't have fun tonight. And now I'm like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, I'm the girl that's boring, Like this is

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<v Speaker 2>all manipulative shit, and they know that they can get

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<v Speaker 2>away with these things because we love them. We want

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<v Speaker 2>to be down and the same thing should be going

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<v Speaker 2>for men. How many women have been wanting DP or

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<v Speaker 2>three some of two guys and it's a hard But

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what it is about us that makes

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<v Speaker 2>them say, my girl will be okay, she'll do it.

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<v Speaker 1>She'll figure it out. So how do you do it?

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<v Speaker 3>Because you and your partner are in an open okay,

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<v Speaker 3>So like when you, let's say, one night, he wants

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<v Speaker 3>to do something but you don't like, how do you

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<v Speaker 3>tell him?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm lucky that he's understanding, because recently we were

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<v Speaker 2>at Labain. They have a really fun Wednesday night in

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<v Speaker 2>New York. It's like Afrobe's and I'm a piano and

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<v Speaker 2>we love that shit. So we get girl's numbers. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>there was a girl it was. She was gorgeous, but

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<v Speaker 2>I just wasn't in a mood that day, and he

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't even asking me to have sex with her. He said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>what do you think? Like she's been flirting with us,

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<v Speaker 2>like can we go get her number? And I said okay,

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<v Speaker 2>just very reluctant.

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<v Speaker 1>He then said, now he picked up.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want we And maybe he didn't say it

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<v Speaker 2>as eloquently as like I love doing Hell, yes, it's

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<v Speaker 2>with you consent. He literally said, we aint about to

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<v Speaker 2>fight tomorrow over this bitch if you ain't Hell, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I ain't in it.

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<v Speaker 1>Fuck that help and we go and we dancey a

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<v Speaker 1>good time.

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<v Speaker 2>And I brought this up when we did keV on

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<v Speaker 2>stage because I was like, Yo, people need to read

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<v Speaker 2>each other, and good partnership looks like reading and loving.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've had good boyfriends that I've broken up with.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had bad boyfriends I've broken up with. But a

0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:31.680
<v Speaker 2>lot of this all tied into how well do you

0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.280
<v Speaker 2>know somebody? Your partner not realizing that he's starting to

0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.120
<v Speaker 2>push you like that is a problem. And I do

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.360
<v Speaker 2>think these things to be fixed. I think you got

0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:43.400
<v Speaker 2>to reconnect, like just the two of you, and he's

0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:47.840
<v Speaker 2>got to know that because ten years is long, and

0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.599
<v Speaker 2>so if this is his new thing, we got to

0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.000
<v Speaker 2>figure out where I exist in this thing.

0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:58.320
<v Speaker 1>If I don't want it. Let's just say this is extreme,

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.880
<v Speaker 1>but I'm thinking about it. Ask my partner dated.

0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:07.880
<v Speaker 2>A girl that liked to be super choked out, hit, dominated, crazy,

0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.199
<v Speaker 2>spit on all of it. I could like some of

0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:16.560
<v Speaker 2>these things in moderation, and after that girl, I feel

0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 2>like he's maybe had a little bit of a thirst

0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:19.120
<v Speaker 2>for it too.

0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:21.319
<v Speaker 1>I know I can't handle it.

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.319
<v Speaker 2>So we got to talk about how I exist If

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.720
<v Speaker 2>you got this thing, where does Weezy come in?

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:28.840
<v Speaker 1>If you're going to have this thing now?

0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.880
<v Speaker 2>According to him, he's like, I don't need it whatever,

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:35.559
<v Speaker 2>I'm not dripping, it's not something I crave. I think

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.200
<v Speaker 2>in five years this might come on now you really

0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.439
<v Speaker 2>want to be on your domb shit, And I think

0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.760
<v Speaker 2>we got to talk about where that comes to the plate.

0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Will I change my mind? Will you only do this?

0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Will you do it in front of me? Will I

0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 2>act it out?

0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:51.239
<v Speaker 1>Like shit? Maybe your man turns into.

0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:52.760
<v Speaker 2>One of the guys that are fucking a hot wife,

0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Like where can we all exist? And maybe you like

0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.920
<v Speaker 2>watching it, but there has to be a place where

0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.560
<v Speaker 2>you can exist in someone's sexuality, even if you're not there.

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.480
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's what's really needing to be talked

0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:06.960
<v Speaker 2>about with y'all. I hope that's a helpful answer, because

0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.959
<v Speaker 2>it's so hard to answer questions like this in the

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:14.720
<v Speaker 2>middle of all this Diddy cash Cassie shit, Because fuck,

0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.920
<v Speaker 2>waking up every day and seeing it is just like,

0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.400
<v Speaker 2>what's the worst thing you think you thought you read

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:25.440
<v Speaker 2>from the Diddy Cassie shit?

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:35.600
<v Speaker 3>Umm, the worst thing that I saw or heard from it? Honestly,

0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.440
<v Speaker 3>anything that has to do with like drugs or being druggs.

0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.480
<v Speaker 3>I feel like that's like just so against your will, Like.

0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:48.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, I didn't hear anything yet about I know

0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.680
<v Speaker 2>she was doing drugs. I didn't know she was like

0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 2>being drugged. In my head, when I think of being drugged,

0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I think, oh my god, you woke up and something

0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:54.720
<v Speaker 2>was different.

0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:56.360
<v Speaker 1>My worst thing so far.

0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm listening to this podcast BBC Diddy All Trial, y'all

0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:00.320
<v Speaker 2>go listen.

0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.400
<v Speaker 1>It's every day. It's tea. And I don't mean that and.

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:04.839
<v Speaker 2>Know like, oh my god, I love this happening way.

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:06.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm just saying, it's a great way to listen and

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:07.719
<v Speaker 2>to ray from the shade room.

0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:12.120
<v Speaker 1>Dad Nigga be my lawyer. Okay.

0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:14.440
<v Speaker 2>There was an episode on The Diddy Trial and DBC

0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 2>where the girl said that the male escort was like

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>I didn't even know what to do when Cassie was

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 2>getting beat because Diddy is so powerful.

0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah.

0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:28.720
<v Speaker 2>So basically, as the story goes, there was a male

0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:32.760
<v Speaker 2>escort that was brought in to have sex with Ditty

0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.880
<v Speaker 2>and Cassie. He said the first time Diddy was covered

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.680
<v Speaker 2>hat bandana, he said he even knew because of the

0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 2>voice and just the presence a loan. And then he

0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.040
<v Speaker 2>came back a few times and he said one of

0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:45.760
<v Speaker 2>the times he would just stay, smoke, chill. They would

0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 2>do it for hours, right. Ain't that the crazy part

0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.600
<v Speaker 2>of this whole Diddy trial too? Everything is four to

0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:52.240
<v Speaker 2>eight hours, Like the bitch is a cloth. I'm like,

0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 2>I would oh my god.

0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean Krisha said, don't go to sleep. She did

0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:58.880
<v Speaker 1>sayday this nigga all sleep.

0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:03.040
<v Speaker 2>So but that's also drug shit if you're a cocaine

0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.800
<v Speaker 2>at meta infetamine. Like what I'm gonna do with this

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:07.440
<v Speaker 2>Hollywood life of like uh uh up?

0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 1>So long story.

0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Short mail escort says Cassie was on her computer. Diddy said,

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.560
<v Speaker 2>came here. She said, hold on, hold on, hold on.

0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 2>She wanted to tie things up, I guess. So he

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 2>came in the room.

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.960
<v Speaker 1>He can hear this. You come when I.

0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:27.200
<v Speaker 2>Say come, and she was like, I'm sorry, It's just

0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I have personal stuff on here. I wanted to wrap

0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 2>it up. And then he started to hear her getting abused.

0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:37.480
<v Speaker 2>Now the prosecution is like or the defense it's like,

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.760
<v Speaker 2>well if you heard it while you ain't help his answer.

0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:46.880
<v Speaker 2>I believe he's like, yo, Diddy is powerful. What was

0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I supposed to do? Go in there and save her?

0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.240
<v Speaker 2>And then something happened to me. He said, Cassie ran

0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:54.200
<v Speaker 2>jumped on his lap. He's like, are you good, She's like,

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:57.800
<v Speaker 2>ca'm ca'm cam okay, And basically she had to perform

0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:02.160
<v Speaker 2>after that. So here's the thing that I've been fucking with.

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:03.040
<v Speaker 1>As if you were of this.

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.600
<v Speaker 2>There's a text message where Diddy says, I love our

0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:12.880
<v Speaker 2>freak offs when it's done right. Cassie can enjoy kinky things,

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:15.840
<v Speaker 2>but also need to be consenting and wanting and not

0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:20.280
<v Speaker 2>be abused during And so that's where this juxtaposition of

0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:22.680
<v Speaker 2>is there right and wrong? And I actually really do

0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:26.880
<v Speaker 2>believe it is wrong. The escort was sitting there talking

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:27.480
<v Speaker 2>about what.

0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Do I do?

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 2>A grown ass man couldn't help you, and we just

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 2>say things like Cassie could have walked away, y'all. Niggas

0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:39.600
<v Speaker 2>can't leave a job you don't like.

0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Like what? So that's the shit. For me, that felt

0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:42.920
<v Speaker 1>like the worst.

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:44.760
<v Speaker 2>And so when I was reading this, I was like,

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.120
<v Speaker 2>oh my, this is all so tied together, like everything

0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 2>we read you could have only had sex with two people.

0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:50.960
<v Speaker 1>Dunisia.

0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.360
<v Speaker 2>The stories you've heard, not even unhorrible other people shows

0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 2>like there's always some manipulative thing that's happening to women.

0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:01.920
<v Speaker 1>None of y'all niggas are fuck vidy, you know what

0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean? And then what you let that? Bobby ask nigga,

0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:08.760
<v Speaker 1>what would you? And he work at Tarja? What about Diddy?

0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:09.960
<v Speaker 1>Like what are you gonna do?

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.760
<v Speaker 2>So that's the shit that makes me feel bad, and

0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:16.520
<v Speaker 2>I think I have a lot of empathy because I

0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I could have left And what

0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 2>if you consent the first time? For those who have

0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.919
<v Speaker 2>pre ordered, no hols pard, you'll get it in a

0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:25.560
<v Speaker 2>few weeks.

0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:27.280
<v Speaker 1>There is a very.

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:31.840
<v Speaker 2>Violent our word chapter for me, and one of the

0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:36.160
<v Speaker 2>things I say in the chapter is well, I had

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>sex with him before because I wanted to. So why

0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.119
<v Speaker 2>if I told this story to people, they would have

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:46.879
<v Speaker 2>been like, oh, welly aren't you fucking already? So yeah,

0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:51.720
<v Speaker 2>Like I completely understand how we're all confused on Cassie's

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:55.960
<v Speaker 2>consent versus non consent, even when she said he raped

0:17:56.000 --> 0:18:00.080
<v Speaker 2>her after a closure talk that they had while she

0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.520
<v Speaker 2>was dating her now husband, and then the defense said, well,

0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.359
<v Speaker 2>did you have sex with him again? She goes, yeah,

0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.959
<v Speaker 2>I did, but I loved him like I didn't know.

0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:14.240
<v Speaker 2>We all assume when something bad happens to somebody done.

0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.040
<v Speaker 2>But the Stockholm syndrome's real, and we all stick around.

0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.720
<v Speaker 2>Not we all excuse me, but we are sticking around

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:21.920
<v Speaker 2>thinking it'll all change.

0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 1>It's a constant mind frame. It's the same with bad jobs.

0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:27.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh fuck it, like I'll get promoted sooner, this will happen,

0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 2>like like something different will happen, and it doesn't. So

0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:32.399
<v Speaker 2>now I know your man is in ditty girl to

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:35.359
<v Speaker 2>tie us all up. I think there's room to change.

0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.199
<v Speaker 2>I think you have to hold the mirror up and

0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.200
<v Speaker 2>talk about exactly how his actions are making you feel,

0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:43.920
<v Speaker 2>and low key when you describe them, make him feel corny,

0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.159
<v Speaker 2>be like you be doing all this, not in a

0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.679
<v Speaker 2>shaming way of his sexuality, but like you doing this

0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.520
<v Speaker 2>shit like I'm not even in the room, like really

0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:53.680
<v Speaker 2>showing him how you feel.

0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.560
<v Speaker 1>So hope that helps. Every Wednesday, You've got decisions.

0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:58.119
<v Speaker 2>If you want to see the video for this and

0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:01.639
<v Speaker 2>you're just listening, go to patreon dot com backslash Decision