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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, greetings from Portugal.

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Speaker 2: Hi, how are you?

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Speaker 1: Hi? Am good, how are you doing.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing fantastic.

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Speaker 3: I am just taking the day off of work today,

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Speaker 3: actually after this, so it's for this.

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Speaker 4: I just drove two and a half hours with my cousin,

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Speaker 4: her lover and their daughter who had diarrhea.

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Speaker 5: On the side of the road by a free We

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Speaker 5: took us about forty seven minutes to get all of

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Speaker 5: our luggage in the trunk.

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Speaker 4: My tour European tour officially ended last night. I did

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Speaker 4: my last show in Libs. In Libs in Lisbon, I

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Speaker 4: developed the lisp. I had my last show in lis

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Speaker 4: Boa is liz Boa. That's how they say it there,

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Speaker 4: liz Boa in Lisbon.

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Speaker 5: And I was very tipsy on stage last night because

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Speaker 5: we were celebrating all day.

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Speaker 1: We were walking.

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Speaker 5: We'd stop and we got Moscow mules, and then we

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Speaker 5: had sang Gria, and then by the time we got

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Speaker 5: to the show, things are the reals. The wheels really

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Speaker 5: came off. So it was a perfect way to end

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Speaker 5: my tour. We had the best time and the audiences

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Speaker 5: in Europe. I'm so appreciative of everybody who came out.

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Speaker 5: It was such a fucking blast. And I've never walked

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Speaker 5: so much in my life.

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Speaker 2: And did you think that you'd be going on tour

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Speaker 2: with a toddler?

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Speaker 1: I mean, was that I did not? She wanted she

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Speaker 1: had to come on stage last night too.

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Speaker 5: She always wants to come on stage, and so we

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Speaker 5: told her if she came on stage and said you're

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Speaker 5: a fucking bitch, that she could come on stage. But

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Speaker 5: so she was practicing backstage, but then she wouldn't do

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Speaker 5: it when she got on stage, which is probably for

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Speaker 5: the best.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: But she loves it.

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Speaker 5: She loves She's like every night when she goes to sleep,

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Speaker 5: she's like, is there a show tonight? Can I go

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Speaker 5: on stage? She They joined us like halfway through the tour.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it was pretty it was pretty funny. I'm

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Speaker 5: just so glad I don't have children.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Yes, you get like little bites, you know, little taste.

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Speaker 5: Amount of times I mean, the patience that's required, the

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Speaker 5: amount of times you hear the word mommy. In one hour,

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Speaker 5: it's like nine hundred times mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, oh my god, I can't believe I

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Speaker 5: understand why people lose their fucking shit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also like daddy's there too, so it could

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Speaker 3: be daddy daddy too, but nope, it's always Mommy.

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Speaker 1: It's always Yeah, she's even. She's like her my niece

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Speaker 1: is like in a relationship with her father. They're like

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Speaker 1: they're like a couple.

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Speaker 5: And then Molly comes in and like sports every Molly

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Speaker 5: comes in and just shames everybody about everything.

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Speaker 1: Everyone got sick at some point except for me. Luckily,

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Speaker 1: knock on my gun. That was good. The two of

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Speaker 1: them were very.

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Speaker 5: Hungover this morning, and I was at the gym like

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Speaker 5: I always am. She's like, wow, you really are an alcoholic.

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Speaker 5: She's like, you can survive anything. I'm like, you just

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Speaker 5: need to shoot up what I'm shooting up? Okay, I

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Speaker 5: take all these peptides I'm taking because I can handle

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Speaker 5: almost anything.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So do you get to have a little vacation now?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Now I'm in Portugal.

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Speaker 5: I'm at my friend's fiftieth birthday weekend. So I'm here

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Speaker 5: for about four or five days. And I've never been

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Speaker 5: here before. The all Golf Coast. I've been a Portugal

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Speaker 5: a bunch, but never here, so we'll see what happens.

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Speaker 5: I mean, any possible anything.

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Speaker 1: It's great.

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Speaker 2: Get you have earned it. It's time for some time

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Speaker 2: off and you.

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Speaker 1: Get to just hill a little bit. Thank you, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Okay, So who do we have coming up today?

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Speaker 3: Well, today we have the lovely Maren Morris, who has

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Speaker 3: a new album called Dreamsickle.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 5: I love Mary Morris and I bumped into her on

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Speaker 5: a television show. So this is perfect timing that we

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Speaker 5: had her on I like and when she said fuck

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Speaker 5: you to country music for to not being accepting or

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Speaker 5: for well, there was a bevy of reasons, but it

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Speaker 5: was basically directed at their sexism, misogyny and you know, homophobia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, she is cute, she's smart, she is fun, she

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Speaker 2: knows her mind.

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Speaker 1: She was a great guest, So okay, bring her on.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Morris. Everybody is hi, Marin. I'm happy to

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Speaker 1: see you. I'm good. How are you doing?

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Speaker 6: Long time?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 5: See, well we just ran into each other at one

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Speaker 5: of those shows. I don't want to say the wrong

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Speaker 5: one though, So I'm scared. Is it access Hollywood or

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Speaker 5: is it to I think I access Hollywood? I mean

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Speaker 5: I should know because I know the girls there as

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Speaker 5: whenever I roam through there, so I don't want to

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Speaker 5: insult them by saying the wrong show. So if I

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Speaker 5: do whatever, it's on me, Maarn, It's all on me,

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Speaker 5: you know what.

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Speaker 6: It was fun.

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Speaker 5: I was so happy to see you because I met

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Speaker 5: you years and years ago, as we discussed, when Maren

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Speaker 5: was opening for Keith Urban and I was doing my

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Speaker 5: Netflix show, so that was probably like almost ten years ago.

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Speaker 1: I interviewed you on a tour bus.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and you were a little baby and you didn't

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Speaker 5: have a baby yet, and now you have a baby

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Speaker 5: and you're not a baby anymore. But what I really

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Speaker 5: have respected about you is how outspoken you are. It

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Speaker 5: really is amazing to see when you said basically fuck

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Speaker 5: you to country music. And I know you weren't saying

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Speaker 5: fuck you to country music, but you were saying fuck

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Speaker 5: you to really the industry of country music.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I think mostly just like the pillars of establishment, where

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Speaker 7: it's these pockets of like MAGA infiltration since twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 7: which is truly like when I guess we met, it's

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Speaker 7: just taken the a nose dives and it's not everyone

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Speaker 7: in that world like there's tons of people. I live

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Speaker 7: in Nashville, so I mean, I haven't like become an

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Speaker 7: expat of every facet of this.

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Speaker 6: I love living here, but yeah, I.

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Speaker 7: Mean it's certainly just tough to sort of want to

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Speaker 7: make music you love and then deliver it to a

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Speaker 7: space that feels safe and inclusive and you know, celebratory.

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Speaker 7: So I think I just had to sort of go

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Speaker 7: back to the drying board and figure out like what

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Speaker 7: I truly wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: And how did you come to that decision?

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Speaker 5: Was that just your own Like did you have to

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Speaker 5: discuss this with anybody in your life before you were

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Speaker 5: public about it? Or is this something that you just

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Speaker 5: felt so passionately about that you had to say something.

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Speaker 7: I mean, I think it was becoming more galvanized, as

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Speaker 7: you know, the pandemic was stretching on, and we were

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Speaker 7: just trying to figure out how to tour again and

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Speaker 7: a safe way. And I think it just really like

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Speaker 7: opened up a lot of blind spots of like people

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Speaker 7: I worked with and just the community here and most

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Speaker 7: of it is so like supportive and loving, but I

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Speaker 7: did I did have to kind of figure out, like

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Speaker 7: what do I want to do going forward? Musically, which

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Speaker 7: you know, I think I've always been a blurred genre

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Speaker 7: line kind of artist because I'm just more about like

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Speaker 7: the songwriting element and like it comes out how it

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Speaker 7: comes out. But yeah, I think just making some like

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Speaker 7: intentional decisions on where I like send this music to.

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Speaker 7: And you know, the thing is is like I'm always

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Speaker 7: going to.

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Speaker 6: Love country music.

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Speaker 7: It's so tied into my DNA of how I listen

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Speaker 7: to music, how I write music. It's all through this

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Speaker 7: like portal of like the Nashville way of right songs,

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Speaker 7: co writing, lyrical structure, the like abab of it all.

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Speaker 7: That's I can't like, I don't want to get rid

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Speaker 7: of that part of myself. I love country music's honesty

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Speaker 7: and like telling real people's stories. But I always go

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Speaker 7: back to this interview in like the late eighties of

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Speaker 7: the Highwaymen. So it's like Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Christofferson

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Speaker 7: Waylan and they're all talking about like funding public education

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Speaker 7: over you know, excessive military spending, and you know, just

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Speaker 7: giving back to the poor and the elderly, like these

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Speaker 7: icons these outlaws, which a lot of these people will

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Speaker 7: wear on a T shirt like they don't remember what

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Speaker 7: these dudes were fucking talking about.

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Speaker 6: From day one.

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Speaker 7: And that's country music to me, which is like writing

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Speaker 7: for the oppressed and writing about those stories.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that's analogous to like how I

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Speaker 5: feel about America, you know what I mean, Like the

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Speaker 5: integrity with which it was founded or with the ideals

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Speaker 5: of what it was always meant to become is probably

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Speaker 5: you can say the same about country music, Like nobody's

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Speaker 5: nothing is founded on hate and bigotry and exclusivity. Things

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Speaker 5: are founded on love and spreading joy and messaging and inclusivity.

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Speaker 1: And yet somehow we get miired, you know.

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Speaker 5: Like industries can get miired in this way of thinking

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Speaker 5: and then they can become dominated by that. And like

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Speaker 5: that's how it feels like in our country. Even though

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Speaker 5: I don't feel like we're being dominated by hate, there's

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Speaker 5: enough out there that it feels that way. I always

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Speaker 5: want to err on the side of love and believe

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Speaker 5: that there are more good than there are bad people.

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Speaker 5: So I'm just going to choose to continue to think

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Speaker 5: that way for the time being.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, I think I will always have this

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Speaker 7: like intrinsic hope and ambition that I mean, humankind is

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Speaker 7: truly just wanting to feel listened to and connected to

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Speaker 7: one another. I think, yeah, when other like ulterior motives

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Speaker 7: get cropped in, it's just I mean, music and the

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Speaker 7: arts are a mirror of society. And so when I

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Speaker 7: saw what was going on within the establishment of like

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Speaker 7: mainstream country music, not so much like Outlaw or Americana,

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Speaker 7: it was like a lot of these rich guys caused

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Speaker 7: playing as cowboys with like six thousand dollars ya sell

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Speaker 7: boots that have never touched dirt.

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Speaker 6: It's like, what's the saying where it's like those boys are.

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Speaker 7: All hat and no cattle. That's like, that's kind of

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Speaker 7: what was happening. And I mean, like it's just interesting

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Speaker 7: because I feel like at the end of the day,

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Speaker 7: we're all just trying to like live and let live.

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Speaker 7: And I think there's a nationalistic element to America and

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Speaker 7: parts of country music where it's like this is ours,

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Speaker 7: not theirs, and that's just not a vibe I want

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Speaker 7: to be a part of. I want to be like inclusive,

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Speaker 7: and that only makes for better music also when you

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Speaker 7: invite inclusivity and diversity into it.

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Speaker 6: Because some of my.

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Speaker 7: Favorite collaborations over like the decades have been those out

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Speaker 7: of left fields duets, like when Willie and rach Charles

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Speaker 7: did their collap together, it was just like so refreshing

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Speaker 7: and it just opened up for better music to come

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Speaker 7: in and Russian and so I think the same with

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Speaker 7: like love. It's like you have to scare yourself and

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Speaker 7: be uncomfortable and hear someone else's point of view or

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Speaker 7: walk of life in order to expand as a human.

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Speaker 7: And you know, writing is just like my extension of that.

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Speaker 7: But yeah, anyways, this is getting very very existential.

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Speaker 1: Well, but it's about who cares a shit.

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Speaker 5: I mean, that is beautiful, Like we all want to

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Speaker 5: grow in love and expand, but some people it's like

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Speaker 5: the people that are limited and the people that are

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Speaker 5: closed off are not thinking that way. They're thinking about

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Speaker 5: it's a narrow way of thinking. And when you go

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Speaker 5: through different enough difficult stuff and you're a smart person,

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Speaker 5: you eventually understand and maybe not eventually, maybe right away

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Speaker 5: the benefits of expansion and the benefits of growing and

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Speaker 5: open mindedness and actually going towards something that you think

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Speaker 5: you might fear and learning from it. You have a

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Speaker 5: huge new album called Dreamsicle. She's going on tour everybody.

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Speaker 5: She's going on to the US, Europe, UK, everywhere. Tickets

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Speaker 5: are available at Marenmorris dot com. The tour begins July twelfth.

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Speaker 5: So I've listened to part of this in the in

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Speaker 5: the gym this morning.

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Speaker 1: It's really beautiful. It's very soulful.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it's I don't even know how I would

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Speaker 5: describe it in one word because it's there's a lot

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Speaker 5: of different stuff in there. But I'm really just blown

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Speaker 5: away at a And I think this is demonstrative of

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Speaker 5: what so many women experience.

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Speaker 1: You came out of a marriage, you came out.

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Speaker 5: Of you know, quote unquote country music, and you had

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Speaker 5: a huge growth spurt from what I can tell. Can

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Speaker 5: you talk a little bit about that. You also had

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Speaker 5: a baby, so I mean that'll do it. Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I think just literally everything that could change in your

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Speaker 7: life happen and in like five years for me, and

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Speaker 7: you know, it was a slow burn of events like unfolding,

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Speaker 7: and I I think I was just hoping and waiting

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Speaker 7: that someone would reach into my life and tell me

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Speaker 7: how to fix everything. And when you realize on some

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Speaker 7: of those like more isolated nights of just like not

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Speaker 7: being able to sleep and because you just your body

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Speaker 7: is in fight or flight almost. I think I just

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Speaker 7: had to buck up and be like, no, bitch, it's you,

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Speaker 7: Like you're the one that has to make that decision

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Speaker 7: and figure out like where you go from here.

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Speaker 6: It's not going to be anyone else. Like I mean,

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Speaker 6: I think you go into.

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Speaker 7: This like inner child mode of like how do I

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Speaker 7: get out of this? Like who can help me? Like

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Speaker 7: my mom or my dad? But I think, yeah, I

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Speaker 7: just I realized I was expanding and growing at a

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Speaker 7: really fast pace. I think from twenty twenty on, and

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Speaker 7: yes you could you could throw motherhood and the postpartum

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Speaker 7: thing learning about myself not being able to work in

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Speaker 7: that moment. There were a lot of like identity crises

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Speaker 7: going on. But I realized, like I can't look back

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Speaker 7: and slow down for people anymore. I want to set

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Speaker 7: my own pace and I will sacrifice my comfort and

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Speaker 7: like loneliness or feeling not lonely to move at the

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Speaker 7: pace that I have worked really hard to move at.

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Speaker 7: And I think it's not like a fun decision. It's

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Speaker 7: not a fun aftermath or fall out of a decision

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Speaker 7: like that. But I think now that I'm a little

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Speaker 7: bit more on the other side of it, I do

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Speaker 7: feel like no part of me ever wakes up at

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Speaker 7: three in the morning and it's like I've made a

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Speaker 7: huge mistake. Like I feel like I sleep better because

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Speaker 7: my body can finally relax and knows that it made

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Speaker 7: the tough but right decision. It's hard to know what

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Speaker 7: day occurred that it all started to shift, but maybe circumstantially,

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Speaker 7: it doesn't to me feel like, oh, let's throw the

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Speaker 7: baby out with the bathwater, like and change everything about

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Speaker 7: my life. It just happened organically to have, you know,

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Speaker 7: all occur at once. But yeah, personal life, professional, all

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Speaker 7: the shit was just like a tornado. And I was like,

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Speaker 7: I swear to God, if I can like white knuckle

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Speaker 7: myself through this and survive, this is probably the hardest thing,

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Speaker 7: Like I'll endure and I'll be okay if I get

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Speaker 7: through this part.

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Speaker 5: I think it's so interesting that you say that, because

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Speaker 5: it's so true, Like I know, through some of my

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Speaker 5: difficult moments in life, you are kind of waiting for someone,

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Speaker 5: Like whether it's your agent or your manager, or your

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Speaker 5: sister or your father, you're waiting for somebody to bail

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Speaker 5: you out, to come and say I'll take care of you.

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Speaker 5: And like I've had so many When I was younger,

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Speaker 5: I had so many of those like kind of tantr

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Speaker 5: me moments like somebody needs to fix this, somebody needs

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Speaker 5: to fix this, and it's like there's only so much

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Speaker 5: anybody else can do about you and your state of mind,

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Speaker 5: which is the first ingredient you need is to have

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Speaker 5: clarity and to have focus in order to lift yourself

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Speaker 5: out of anything.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I think I was just maintaining a level of

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Speaker 7: stress and thinking that because I'm used to this level

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Speaker 7: of stress, it's comfortable, and the alternative to that is

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Speaker 7: so in the dark that it's frightening. And now that

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Speaker 7: I've removed that sort of perpetual level of holding the

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Speaker 7: fucking plates up and spinning them no matter the cost

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Speaker 7: to myself and my mental health.

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Speaker 6: Now that I've removed that, I just see.

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Speaker 7: How much I was carrying and that was so unnecessary

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Speaker 7: and so unfair to me. So yeah, I think, like

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Speaker 7: the whole rip the band aid off thing is easier

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Speaker 7: said than done. But I do think even if you're

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Speaker 7: operating at a level of like just okay or good ish,

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Speaker 7: you don't know what great is because you've never allowed

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Speaker 7: yourself the space to experience great and I feel like

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Speaker 7: now I can. And I'm like, you have to be

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Speaker 7: like really okay with your own company, and I am.

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Speaker 7: I think that was always like the case was, you know,

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Speaker 7: since I was a kid. I can internalize and go

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Speaker 7: and hear, and that's probably why I'm a songwriter. But yeah,

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Speaker 7: it's just, yeah, extremely daunting to make those choices. But

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Speaker 7: you know, I just turned thirty five, and I do

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Speaker 7: feel like I'm glad I didn't wait any longer.

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Speaker 6: It just would have been such a like waste to myself.

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Speaker 5: Absolutely, And I think there are so many, so many

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Speaker 5: of the people that listen to this podcast are always

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Speaker 5: calling in about that very question, like how do you

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Speaker 5: take a leap?

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Speaker 1: How do you move in the right direction? Like what

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Speaker 1: is the first step?

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Speaker 5: And I always think it's just take a step in

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Speaker 5: that direction, you know, and then the second one will follow.

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Speaker 5: But you have to intentionally be like, this is the

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Speaker 5: first thing I'm going to do to change my life

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Speaker 5: and to head into direction that I'm more comfortable with

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Speaker 5: and passionate about.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, and you more people should talk about like even

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Speaker 7: the little baby step in the correct direction or whatever

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Speaker 7: is nauseating it is you are fighting every safety inside

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Speaker 7: your body to make those choices, whether it's to leave

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Speaker 7: a job or a relationship or severtise with a friend

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Speaker 7: or a family, those decisions, at least for me, because

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Speaker 7: I just feel so much like empathy and I want

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Speaker 7: I never want to let people down.

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Speaker 1: People.

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Speaker 7: Please are it feels like you're going to vomit, Like

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Speaker 7: every time you even take the tiniest step to someone else,

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Speaker 7: Like it's huge to your brain and you're functioning.

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Speaker 5: How did you deal with any of the backlash you

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Speaker 5: got from the country country music industry after you came

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Speaker 5: out publicly?

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Speaker 1: Came out, No, like against that I came out, got it? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean too well that you're right right.

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Speaker 5: Of course that too, but not who cares about that.

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Speaker 6: About we're all a little gay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly so.

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Speaker 5: And if we're not gay yet, you will be okay

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Speaker 5: by the end of this By the end of this administration,

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Speaker 5: you'll all be gay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: Just date one more man, and I promise you you'll be

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Speaker 7: gay totally.

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Speaker 5: Somebody tried to I was coming to New York. I'm

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Speaker 5: in New York right now, and somebody's like, I have

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Speaker 5: this guy I want you to set you up with.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I can't even think about men right now. Okay,

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Speaker 5: just get away from me. I have no interest in

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Speaker 5: a man right now. I have other things to think about.

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Speaker 5: And like, when I get to Europe, I'll be in

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Speaker 5: a different zone.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, maybe it's better, you'll fear better over there.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, I.

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Speaker 6: Mean, there's there's backlash with like anything that you do

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Speaker 6: that's not normal.

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Speaker 7: So I think I also, like remember very clearly the

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Speaker 7: chicks backlash of like the two thousand and three Bush era,

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Speaker 7: you know, Iraq war stuff, So like that's like my

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Speaker 7: touchstone of how an industry can black volume or snuff

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Speaker 7: you out or attempt to. And I think, you know,

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Speaker 7: it's slightly better now because of social media and more

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Speaker 7: people can be like exposed to what you're saying and

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Speaker 7: have the context of what.

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Speaker 6: You're saying and and.

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Speaker 7: Just yeah, but I was kind of surprised at like

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Speaker 7: how many people reached out to me pately or publicly

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Speaker 7: in support and just being like the courage that it

399
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Speaker 7: would take to do this or just change up your

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Speaker 7: plans this way. And I wasn't really doing it in

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Speaker 7: the hopes that these people would think that I'm like

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Speaker 7: Joan of Arc or some bullshit. It's like, I'm just

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Speaker 7: attempting to like be happy and I'm going to have

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Speaker 7: to make some major changes for that to be.

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Speaker 5: A reality, honest, being an honest I mean, you didn't

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Speaker 5: have to say that publicly.

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Speaker 1: You could have said that privately. There's a real power.

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Speaker 5: I mean, anytime someone says something like that and it's

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Speaker 5: loud about that in a righteous way, you are paving

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Speaker 5: the way for so many other people that you will

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Speaker 5: never even know about, you know, and not to mention

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Speaker 5: all of the gay country artists that we've learned about

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Speaker 5: since making that announcement.

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Speaker 1: So like, kudos to you for doing that.

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Speaker 5: That takes a lot of balls and a lot of guts,

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Speaker 5: because I'm sure there was a part of you that

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Speaker 5: was scared or it was fractured of you that was like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, what's the backlash going to be like?

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Speaker 5: And I'm all for that because you're helping so many

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Speaker 5: people that you'll never even meet.

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Speaker 6: Oh well, thank you.

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Speaker 7: I mean, I think I've always been a loudmouth, and

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Speaker 7: I think it's just from kind of growing up in

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Speaker 7: Texas in this very red state, you know, lots of

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Speaker 7: conservative family and you know, being so mentally online for

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Speaker 7: like post nine to eleven, the chick stuff, things that

427
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Speaker 7: were happening within the South and in country music on

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Speaker 7: a public level with the war, I mean, the age

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Speaker 7: of millennial that I am is like that's when people

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Speaker 7: really started paying attention because we had to.

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Speaker 6: It was on our TVs.

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Speaker 7: And I think it just instilled in me this like

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Speaker 7: kind of rebellious spirit of like where how do I

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Speaker 7: build community in a place which is so red, And

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Speaker 7: like even back then it felt very quaint.

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Speaker 6: Like people post Trump, it's a little.

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Speaker 7: Bit different, but I think even back then it didn't

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Speaker 7: feel quite so adversarial. But it's just grown as I've

439
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Speaker 7: grown my audience. And I think also like I have

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Speaker 7: so many women that work for me and with me,

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Speaker 7: and people of color, people.

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Speaker 6: In the queer community.

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Speaker 7: So like that's my backstage and on stage, and then

444
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 7: I'm looking at my crowd and it's like each album,

445
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 7: each like year even it's diversifying. And I remember the

446
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 7: first time I ever played like New York City, it

447
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 7: was like the Bowery, I think, and I just I'd

448
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 7: never had like gay fans, and so seeing on my

449
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 7: first like EP and you're in like the biggest city,

450
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,239
Speaker 7: so you're like, Okay, this is what you know the

451
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 7: city crowd's going to look like. And I was just

452
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 7: obsessed and I just wanted more of that. I wanted

453
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 7: people to come to my show and feel like they

454
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 7: were safe to do so, and they would make friends

455
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 7: at my shows and the crowd. And I've seen this

456
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 7: happen like over the last like nine years.

457
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, So I.

458
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 7: Think part and part soul of building that is letting

459
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 7: people know where you stand on almost everything.

460
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 6: Like I think there are some.

461
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 7: Things that I don't blame or shame my peers for

462
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 7: not speaking up on because you know, it's fucking hard

463
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 7: doing this. But I think in the long run, and

464
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 7: I've lost fans along the way, and that's going to happen,

465
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 7: is you have like a longer career, you're going to

466
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 7: lose people. Like the more that you exist and aren't

467
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 7: just like cookie cut and you're a fully formed human being,

468
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 7: I think you're going to lose.

469
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 6: People and that's okay. I think that's healthy.

470
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 7: But you're going to like remain with the people that

471
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 7: have been there from the jump, that always understood you

472
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 7: and you understand them and then like attract the people

473
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 7: that you want over time.

474
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 5: Do you feel at thirty five years old? This is

475
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 5: a weird question. It's not a weird question, but it's direct.

476
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 5: Do you feel like a woman?

477
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 1: Yeah?

478
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:26,360
Speaker 6: I do?

479
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 7: Now.

480
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 6: I thought you were going to say, like, do you

481
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 6: feel old? Because I do? Most is but I yeah,

482
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 6: I do because.

483
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 7: I think I started doing this so young. I think

484
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 7: we talked about this the last time we spoke, you know,

485
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 7: in an interview for Matt It was like, I've been

486
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 7: touring since I was twelve, So and you lovey.

487
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: She loves it.

488
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 7: She loves it, she loves being on the road. I

489
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 7: just love the I love the show. Like the energy

490
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 7: I get from that. It just feels like a healthy

491
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 7: version of like the churches I grew up in. And

492
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 7: I think that connection to an energy like that is

493
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 7: just it's addictive, yes, but it's also like extremely therapeutic.

494
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 7: And so yes, I love the road. But yeah, I'm

495
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 7: thirty five now, I have a five year old I've

496
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 7: been divorced. Now, Yeah, I feel like a woman. What

497
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 7: are the boxes I'm ticking?

498
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 6: I love living alone?

499
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, like I love having my space. Is that's very sacred.

500
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 7: I think, just like not sharing a closet with someone

501
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 7: or a bathroom counter, I can have all my shit everywhere. Yeah,

502
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 7: I mean that feels very womanly to me. It's just

503
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 7: like the liberation of home, like space in your house.

504
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so nice to be alone, isn't it.

505
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 5: It's so nice to have your own space and be

506
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 5: alone anytime I have a boyfriend or share or we

507
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 5: go on vacation together. Because I won't live with anyone again.

508
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 5: I hope I never do until I'm in a facility,

509
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 5: and then I'll live with my and then i'll live

510
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 5: with my boyfriend who will be twenty years younger, taking

511
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 5: care of me for a fee my mail nurse that

512
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 5: I'm totally happy to pay as a transaction. But I

513
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 5: didn't start feeling and I think I guess motherhood also

514
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 5: plays a very strong component, because I think once you

515
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 5: have a baby, there is a sense of womanhood that

516
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 5: comes on. But I didn't start to feel like a

517
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 5: real woman until I was in my forties. I always

518
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 5: felt like this little girl energy, like you know, Punky

519
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 5: Brewster esque, Like, oh you know.

520
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: I'm still not really responsible.

521
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,959
Speaker 5: I have all of these things, and I have all

522
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,239
Speaker 5: these people that help me do all these things, but

523
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 5: even though I'm running the whole thing, I don't feel

524
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 5: like a woman. And so I think it's interesting to

525
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 5: find out what ages women do start to feel that way.

526
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, I totally get what you're saying, because

527
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 7: I do still have this like zest and like energizer

528
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 7: bunny esqueness to me, but or maybe on the sort

529
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 7: of negative space of that is like again the people

530
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 7: pleasing thing or just like the former in me and

531
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,880
Speaker 7: every element of my life, like it's exhausting, but it's

532
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 7: just so hard to break that pattern of myself and

533
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 7: like even in relationships, like romantic relationships, feeling like they

534
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 7: need the best version of me, like especially off the bat,

535
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 7: like no flaws, no downsides, like everything's peachy, and then

536
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 7: you're like, oh my god, like they're gonna fucking ruin

537
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 7: it anyways, So just show them all your cards, explore

538
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 7: healthy detachment. But I yeah, I mean I feel like

539
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 7: a woman. But also like I bet when I turned

540
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 7: forty in a couple of years, I'll be like that

541
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 7: one was an idiot, like the thirty five version.

542
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 6: So no, I'll be proud at any milestone.

543
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 7: But I do think like there is something yeah with motherhood,

544
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 7: but also just like anything like divorce, where it's a

545
00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 7: failure of the promise and the plan that was made initially,

546
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 7: but it's it's also like a success. And I don't

547
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 7: want to like sugarcoat it, like it's not fun to

548
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 7: go through this. And like also in a public way,

549
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 7: have like friends and family that you haven't spoken to

550
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 7: in years, like reaching out to you about something in

551
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 7: TMZ that feels so private, but like shit happens. It's

552
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 7: part of the job. I just think I've earned my

553
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 7: stripes through that.

554
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you can also divorce in a very successful way.

555
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 5: So it is a success by many stand and by

556
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 5: many measures without referring, you know, to the end of

557
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 5: a marriage that in and of itself could be a

558
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 5: success when it's not a healthy marriage. So yeah, our

559
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 5: whole language around all of it should just be flipped

560
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 5: and flip it and reverse it.

561
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 6: That's so true.

562
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 7: I think also because we're over a year out now,

563
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 7: like my ex and I and we obviously have our

564
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 7: son to co parent, like we get along now and have.

565
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 6: Moved past a lot of it.

566
00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 7: But we're neighbors and I'm just so fortunate that we

567
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 7: like have put our son above each other's shit and

568
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 7: like can truly and it's better for the two of

569
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 7: us if we're getting along obviously as well as like

570
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 7: co parenting our son. But yeah, I mean, I'm lucky that,

571
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 7: you know, we love each other so much still and

572
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 7: we have like the highest respect. But also there is

573
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 7: that like devastation that like two people that love each

574
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 7: other that much they can't make it work in the

575
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 7: real world. It's always going to be multifaceted. But I

576
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 7: think ultimately, like we both knew it was probably going

577
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 7: to be better this way, which is a success, totally.

578
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I'm not No, we're going to take a break

579
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back with Maren Morris.

580
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 5: And we're back with Maren Morris, who has a new

581
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 5: album called Dreams to Call and then she's touring all over.

582
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: So go to Maremorris dot com to get tickets.

583
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 5: Okay, we have some callers, Maren, are you ready, Catherine,

584
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 5: are you ready?

585
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 8: Yes?

586
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 3: Well, this first one is just an email, but Jess says,

587
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 3: dear Chelsea, I've been friends with this girl, let's call

588
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 3: her Molly, for fourish years now. We met through mutual

589
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 3: friends while I was in grad school, and our partners

590
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 3: get along very well too. We've stayed in touch a lot,

591
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 3: with bi annual trips to see each other.

592
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: After I moved out of the town where we met.

593
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: Fast forward to two years ago.

594
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 3: She's getting married and wants to do a big bachelorette

595
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 3: trip out of state. I took it upon myself to

596
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 3: essentially plan the entire thing. She was relieved to have

597
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: the help. The trip went very well, followed by travel

598
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 3: to their wedding later that year. All that to say,

599
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time, money, and energy on

600
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 3: her wedding. It was a big weekend for me too.

601
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 3: The day after her wedding, my fiance popped the question.

602
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 3: He planned a little trip and it was just the

603
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 3: two of us.

604
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: He did get.

605
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: Permission from the groom in advance.

606
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: When I got engaged, Molly was happy for me, but

607
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 3: did not express any explicit interest in the details of

608
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 3: my wedding planning. The next time I saw her was

609
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: on a friend's trip six months later. She did not

610
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 3: ask to see my ring, nor did she ask any

611
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,239
Speaker 3: details about my engagement, which is crazy to me. If

612
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 3: I care about some one, I'm curious about a big

613
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: moment like that. She in fact expressed some annoyance at

614
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 3: the timing of the engagement, possibly taking away from the

615
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: quote unquote specialness of her weekend. About a week after

616
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: that trip, she said she could not arrive at my

617
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: wedding a day early for a bachelorette celebration as she

618
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 3: couldn't get the time off work. Then today I receive

619
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 3: a text with her essentially saying they might not make

620
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 3: it to the wedding due to finances. I'm frustrated and confused.

621
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 3: She has a great job as a lawyer, so it's

622
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 3: not really adding up without a firm RSVP. How do

623
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 3: I know whether I should plan the tables and a

624
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: meal for her and her husband? And it's a lot

625
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 3: of money to waste if they don't end up coming.

626
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 3: Should I address it with her or not? Even bother? Sincerely, Jess.

627
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: Wait, so the proposal took place right the day after the.

628
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 3: Day was the wedding, but like in a totally different place,

629
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 3: Like it wasn't like at the post wedding brunch sort

630
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: of thing.

631
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: It was far away. Oh okay, And he cleared it

632
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: with the groom, which I don't think he should have

633
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: had to do by. Why did he do so?

634
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was the first mistake, clearing it with the groom.

635
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 5: I thought it was on the grounds like the brunchiest.

636
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: I clarified that with her and she was like, no, no,

637
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 3: it was like hours away and just.

638
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 5: I mean, you could ignore it, but I would go

639
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 5: at it directly head on and just send her an

640
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 5: email going it's clear that you're clear that you're annoyed.

641
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 5: You've showed that you've been annoyed with me for getting

642
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 5: engaged after your wedding.

643
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: I did not plan this proposal. My husband did. Okay,

644
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: so hey, these are the facts.

645
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 5: B I went above and beyond for your wedding, as

646
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 5: I would do again. Like you know, you say, say

647
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 5: all of this with as much gentleness and love as

648
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 5: you can because you're talking to somebody who's basically having

649
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 5: a little bit of a tantrum. And I would do

650
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 5: it again. I was happy to be there. I was

651
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 5: happy to throw your engate, your bachelorette weekend or whatever

652
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 5: she threw for herr shower. Yeah however she wants to

653
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 5: call it or whatever it was.

654
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, bachelorette, Yeah you got it, and I was there.

655
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: I was happy for you.

656
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 5: It's really disheartening to see you being wawfully about my

657
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 5: wedding when you know that the costs that go into

658
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 5: a wedding. You understand when somebody isn't going to be there.

659
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 5: The fact that you're not coming in for my bachelor

660
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 5: weekend after I threw you one hurts. The fact that

661
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 5: you're not sure if you can come to my wedding

662
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 5: hurts again.

663
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: I did not.

664
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 5: Propose to my husband. He proposed to me. It wasn't

665
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 5: at your wedding, it was after your wedding. Like, these

666
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 5: are things that are not going to matter in six months.

667
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 5: I would just be very direct so that you can

668
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 5: get you know, really, just call her on her shit

669
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 5: and get a direct response so that you don't have

670
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 5: to worry about it. Just let me know either way,

671
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 5: if you can't come to the wedding, Okay, that's disappointing too,

672
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 5: but please let me know so I can save the money,

673
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 5: you know. And I really hope one day you can

674
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 5: get past this, because I find this to be very silly.

675
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 5: We were all there for your wedding, we were all present,

676
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,959
Speaker 5: and now I feel like I'm being punished for being

677
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 5: proposed to.

678
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: That's a good line.

679
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 6: That's how it feels. What do you think, Maren, It's

680
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 6: just so weird that all this happened planned her whole

681
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 6: bachelorette showed up and like celebrated her, and then they

682
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 6: didn't see each other for six months. That feels weird.

683
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: Too, because they don't live in the same town.

684
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: Oh got it, got it? Yeah, they live a little

685
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: bit farther apart.

686
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean's right.

687
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 7: I think just approaching it directly, even though it's gonna

688
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 7: suck to hit send because it's like, oh god, like

689
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 7: I'm really coming out her a little bit assortibly. But

690
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 7: it does cost money when people know show on a

691
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 7: wedding and the table setting and like the food and drink,

692
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 7: and it's like just out of courtesy even that alone,

693
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 7: even if she hadn't planned the bachelorette, it's like you

694
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 7: are SVP no right and whatever. But yeah, I think,

695
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 7: just like be direct and she might think that you're

696
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 7: like attacking her, but I don't think.

697
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 6: I don't think any of us do. So just clear

698
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 6: your mind.

699
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: No and say it with love. Start it with like, hey,

700
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: this is coming from love.

701
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 5: I definitely feel some tension between us, and this is

702
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 5: what I'm deducing. You know, you can say as softly

703
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 5: as you want to. I'm saying it directly, but you

704
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 5: can actually make it much softer. But why not if

705
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 5: she's not going to be your friend, find out now?

706
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 5: And if if she's ever gonna get caught. People need

707
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 5: to be called out on their silly behavior. She's acting

708
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 5: like a child. If she's really upset about that, you know,

709
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 5: which she probably won't. She may not admit, she may

710
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 5: pretend it's about something else, you know what I mean,

711
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 5: because it is embarrassing to admit you're upset about something.

712
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: So so what's the word I'm thinking of? Trifle?

713
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 6: No?

714
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: Is that a truffle?

715
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 2: Trifling?

716
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: Silly fling, silly, stupid truffles? Truffles? I don't know whatever

717
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: I feel like.

718
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 3: Also, if she still is waffling after you directly ask

719
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 3: her like, hey, I need an RSVP and she's like, well,

720
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 3: we'd like I think I would say like a no,

721
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 3: is okay if we'd love to have you there, but

722
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 3: if you really can't, please just let me know, and

723
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: like we'll assume that you're not gonna come.

724
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 1: Let's just plan on you.

725
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 5: You could do it that and just like yeah, you

726
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,800
Speaker 5: could also frame it only like that, like listen, it's

727
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 5: obvious that you have some issue with me, and not

728
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 5: even get into the details and say it's obviously there's

729
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 5: some issue here. I'm assuming you're upset about the proposal date,

730
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 5: but whether that's really not in my control, that I

731
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 5: didn't have any control over that, and you're waffling back

732
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 5: and forth about even coming to my wedding. While that's

733
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 5: really hurtful. I think what you're trying to say to me,

734
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 5: you're not coming. You know, you could do it that

735
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,879
Speaker 5: way and like make it more of a closed dooring, and.

736
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 3: You can even blame it on like the wedding planner,

737
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 3: Like the wedding planner needs a firm RSVP one way

738
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 3: or the other, So like let me know by X date,

739
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: especially if it's after the actual RSVP date. Well, our

740
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,720
Speaker 3: next color is Mike, he says. Dear Chelsea. I followed

741
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 3: Chelsea from back in the Gray Goose Days to Belvedere.

742
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 3: I really respect your point of view on things, and

743
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 3: you being a girl's girl is pretty cool. I'm a

744
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 3: trans man, which I'm not usually comfortable saying or even

745
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: typing out loud. I've always identified as a straight guy.

746
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,800
Speaker 3: I'm forty four, and back in my day, it was

747
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 3: all about being stealth. The world is different these days.

748
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 3: I've been with my wife for eighteen years, married together

749
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,919
Speaker 3: for twenty five. We have an eight year old, and

750
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 3: now the two of us are in the process of

751
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,760
Speaker 3: a divorce. She's been running on emotions, making it legally

752
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 3: hard for me financially too, and adding extra stress with

753
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 3: our son. I never would have thought we'd be here.

754
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 3: I took my veowl seriously, thinking I was protecting my

755
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 3: son and me. I have an attorney, but I'm scared

756
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 3: shitless to see what's to come. Do you have anything

757
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 3: to to help me maintain focus to get through this

758
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 3: with my son? Yet positive enough to not let all

759
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: this negativity affect my well being. I see it taking over,

760
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,280
Speaker 3: but I'm getting through. Best wishes, Mike.

761
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 8: Hi, Mike, Hey, how are you doing? Chelsea?

762
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: Hi?

763
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 5: This is our special guest Maaron Morris, who joins us today.

764
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: How how are you doing.

765
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 8: I'm doing. I'm happy to be here and I'm you know,

766
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 8: looking forward to hear what you know? Where you have

767
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 8: to welfare? I'm sorry it out.

768
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 5: Okay, no, no, no, So you're you're it's an acrimonious divorce.

769
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: I take it.

770
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, I kind of like neither one of us really

771
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 8: did anything, you know, so to speak, that that really

772
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 8: it was like, oh my god, you know you cheated

773
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 8: or anything like that that really broke us. I think

774
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 8: we've been together since we were young, and we didn't

775
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 8: really have proper guidance, and we went through a lot,

776
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 8: you know, like there was a lot of death, guilt,

777
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 8: a lot of things that I don't think I appropriately

778
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 8: dealt with or neither Itchy and I think we were

779
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 8: both a little emotionally irresponsible as well as financially, and

780
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 8: I think it kind of caught up to us and

781
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 8: it was a lot of stuff we never dealt with

782
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 8: coming to a head, and you know, unfortunately, you know,

783
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 8: this is where we are, and it's just like I

784
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 8: don't even know what to do or how to handle it.

785
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 8: I realized I'm very upset and how things are proceeding,

786
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 8: but I'm trying not to get angry. I've related to

787
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 8: you for many years, like you've like helped me through

788
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 8: a lot of this stuff, and I went through it

789
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 8: like it was just like your show Finding You was

790
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 8: kind of just awesome, like you know, I would just

791
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 8: kind of veg out and watch it, and you know,

792
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 8: it was a instruction from life, and at that time,

793
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 8: it was just like a long time ago at this

794
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 8: point really like work stuff, you know, just regular life.

795
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 8: And then like I started realizing, like I started like

796
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 8: not appreciating the little things, and I think a lot

797
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 8: of it just came to my head. And when I

798
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 8: was ready to deal with that, she wasn't. And now

799
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 8: I don't know who she's become. You know, it's scary.

800
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 5: Have you been able to have a conversation with her.

801
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,720
Speaker 5: Are you able to have a conversation with her about

802
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 5: how you're feeling and about moving forward in like a

803
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 5: loving way for the benefit of your son and accepting

804
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 5: that the relationship is over, but also understanding that there

805
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 5: can be a new relationship moving forward so that you

806
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 5: can honor the family unit that you had.

807
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 8: I try, you know, and it's like I've tried like

808
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 8: several different approaches because I used to, you know, I know,

809
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 8: like where I did my wrong short of speakers, not

810
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 8: taking care of myself and I went through a lot

811
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 8: of loss. And I had mentioned that I'm a trans guy.

812
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 8: I don't think like you know, like I always know

813
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 8: she accepted that, but there was a lot of things

814
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 8: that I don't think I really accepted, you know. And

815
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 8: when I was younger, I came out as like a

816
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 8: trans guy. I was part of this community and the city,

817
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 8: and I would go on talks and really encourage people.

818
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 8: And then like it was like I found this beautiful

819
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 8: girl in Long Island who was really straight, you know,

820
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 8: and it was like all about being stealth, and she

821
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 8: fell in love with me and accepted me. And I

822
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 8: just can't believe twenty five years later, like going through

823
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 8: all this stuff, like we're here, you know, and our

824
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 8: son is the most precious thing in the world. He's

825
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 8: non verbal, he's autistic, and he really needs us more

826
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 8: than most little guys and girls, you know, and it

827
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 8: is a shame, and I don't know, you know, I

828
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 8: needed to become humble and how I relate to you

829
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 8: as well as there are things that I felt like

830
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 8: were so important to say and I needed to be heard,

831
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 8: and I needed to take a lot of steps back,

832
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 8: and I think I kind of took him too late.

833
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 8: You know.

834
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 5: That's okay, though, That's okay. Everything's it's okay. All of

835
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 5: these things that you're saying, are okay. It's part of

836
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 5: your life and it's part of how you deal with it.

837
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 5: Do you have a therapist?

838
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 8: I do, and it's it's been great to have that

839
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 8: and to see that that help and the self reflection

840
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 8: is amazing. And I mean, like I have a lot

841
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 8: of work to do, don't get me wrong, but even

842
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 8: like stepping out, what encourage me to email you is

843
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 8: I would and saw you by myself. That's something I

844
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 8: never would have done. I would a ticket to see

845
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 8: you in King's Theater. My english was messed in that emails,

846
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 8: like compleaning it up Catherine, because I was just so

847
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 8: excited that I was doing it, and I was like,

848
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 8: you know, it's good. I'm going to reach out and

849
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 8: just let her know it, you know. Like so just

850
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 8: like that alone was a huge step for me to

851
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 8: just humble, be humble, like to be able to walk

852
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 8: in there humble but confident. You know, I lost both

853
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 8: and I think that was part of what she fell

854
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 8: in love with me. And I want us to kind

855
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 8: of kind of regroup, like I even heard of like

856
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 8: co parenting counseling, Like all right, we accept, you know,

857
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 8: marriage is over. We're gonna, you know, live apart, but

858
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 8: like there are so many resources. I even brought her

859
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 8: a rage room, you know, and maybe we have like

860
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 8: anger or resentment, like banging out, you know, hit some

861
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,439
Speaker 8: stuff like you know, you just like I don't even

862
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 8: know how to navigate this at all, you.

863
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 5: Know, And Okay, well it's one step at a time.

864
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 5: First of all, you have to take it one step

865
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 5: at a time. How old were you when you transitioned?

866
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 8: So is interesting, That's an interesting question. I think I

867
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 8: always knew. By the first time I introduced myself, I

868
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 8: was very lucky. I was going I was probably like

869
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 8: ten to eleven going into sixth grade. I was so lucky.

870
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 8: I was in the movie seeing Terminator two, whatever year

871
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,439
Speaker 8: that was about, and I saw a girl that I liked,

872
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 8: and she assumed, you know, like I got my haircut short.

873
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 8: And I was very, very fortunate transition wise. But now

874
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 8: later in life, I almost feel too fortunate.

875
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 5: If that's weird or not, well, it sounds to me

876
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 5: like what you're missing is like there's a lot of

877
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 5: delayed grief that's coming up that sounds like it's probably

878
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 5: related to your transition and not getting the appropriate therapy

879
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 5: going through that transition, like you saying you were lucky

880
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 5: to go through that. What the experience you're talking about

881
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 5: would also kind of masks like, Okay, okay, I can

882
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 5: do this, I can do this, it was not no

883
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,359
Speaker 5: big deal. And when it is a big deal, when

884
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 5: there are feelings that you need to digest and you

885
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 5: need to understand about yourself, there's going to be a

886
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 5: lot of emotion around that that you haven't experienced yet

887
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 5: that is necessary to go through otherwise it will tear

888
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 5: you apart.

889
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 8: I think you're right, like even crying like this is

890
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 8: new for me.

891
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 1: That's good.

892
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 5: Though, it's good that you're crying. It's absolutely wonderful, Like

893
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,760
Speaker 5: that's what you need to do more of is cry.

894
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: It gets it out of your body.

895
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,399
Speaker 5: There's a grieving process that comes with transitioning, and if

896
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 5: it's not handled properly, this is the kind of thing

897
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 5: that can happen. And while it may seem like it's

898
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 5: your relationship and maybe it is, there's a lot of

899
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 5: stuff that creeps up on us from our younger years

900
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 5: when we don't address them. So I would really encourage

901
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 5: you to really speak with your therapist in a candid

902
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 5: way about all of this.

903
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: I would also.

904
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 5: Encourage you to write down as much as you can

905
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 5: whenever you can, you know, really start journaling about how

906
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 5: you're feeling, and you're going to I feel like you're

907
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 5: going to realize that a lot these emotions are very

908
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 5: much tied to your emotions from being a younger person

909
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 5: and that haven't been fully examined. And while that may

910
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 5: not sound like a fun thing to do, it's a

911
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 5: necessary thing to do for your future and for moving

912
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 5: through this divorce in.

913
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: A more amicable way.

914
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 5: And if you can approach your wife in a way

915
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 5: that is really loving. Do you think you can or

916
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 5: have you about moving forward in a more amicable way

917
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 5: in the name of your son.

918
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 8: I've tried, but I think my communication is just like off, yeah, off, exactly.

919
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: Okay.

920
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 8: I don't think I'm approaching it at all the right

921
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 8: way and I just don't know how.

922
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, can't you have your therapist? Can you have

923
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 5: a session with your therapist and your wife and have

924
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 5: her address the communication for both of you.

925
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: Wow?

926
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 8: Like I keep thinking wow, like this is you know

927
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 8: what I mean? Like this is incredible? Like I always

928
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 8: keep thinking it has to be like co parenting or

929
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 8: these couples like cat like something together. But I never

930
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 8: even thought of that. That is an amazing thing. And

931
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 8: I think you're right. My third is she's super supportive.

932
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 8: And I bet you yes, of one session just to

933
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 8: kind of get that communication.

934
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 5: Maybe more than one though, maybe more than one, and

935
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 5: also frame it to your wife, like, hey, listen, I'm

936
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 5: having I think I have a lot, a lot of

937
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 5: work to do on my communication, so I'm seeing a therapist.

938
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 5: It would really mean the world to me if you

939
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 5: could come in for a session and we can discuss

940
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 5: moving forward in the name of our child for the

941
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 5: purpose of co parenting in the future. I have accepted

942
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 5: that this relationship doesn't work for you.

943
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: I we'm not going to fight you.

944
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 5: About that, and then you have to make that promise

945
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 5: that you're not going to try and like get her back.

946
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 5: And that's not what this is about. This is all

947
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 5: for the sanity and safety of your son.

948
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 8: Yeah, completely right. I try to open my home to her,

949
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 8: like even Easter Sunday, you know, Like it's like, even

950
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 8: if we could just spend an evening together, we could

951
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 8: let him see the Easter. It is what two holidays

952
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 8: a month that we celebrate Christmas and Easter. A kid,

953
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 8: you can't get that together, you know, Like I try

954
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 8: and encourage that, but then if we're not communicating right

955
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 8: and really being withridiculous, like he feels that. You know,

956
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 8: he's nonverbal too, so it's a little bit.

957
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 5: More of you probably know, nonverbal kids know more than

958
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 5: verbal kids anyway because their senses are so heightened. Yeah.

959
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: Have you listened to that podcast Telepathy Tapes?

960
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, absolutely about nonverbal Yeah, it's.

961
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 8: Incredible, And it's like, I just know how many questions

962
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,800
Speaker 8: and even you are some of your like the questions

963
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 8: I add, you know, like imagine what's going through his head.

964
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 8: And it's like there are just so many things that

965
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 8: we just need to get on board on, like even

966
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 8: his therapies and schedules and whatever. It is, like we

967
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 8: just gotta gotta be hands on decade.

968
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, And the way to get there is to get

969
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 5: yourself in a healthy place. So you have to double

970
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 5: down on your therapy, double down on your journaling, start

971
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 5: meditating for about ten minutes a day just to get

972
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,720
Speaker 5: yourself centered. Just get a download to Deepak Choprah's app,

973
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 5: download Headspace, download whatever.

974
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: Ten percent happier there's a million.

975
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 5: They'll guide your meditation, they will tell you what to

976
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 5: think about, what to focus on, and and just get

977
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 5: yourself into It's okay to have these emotions. It's important

978
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 5: that you go through this grief. But it's really important

979
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 5: that you don't take this out on anyone else.

980
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: Like that.

981
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 5: You take your wife to your couple's therapist, and if

982
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 5: she wants to go to one of hers, that's fine too.

983
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 1: If she'd rather go to someone she knows, great, whatever.

984
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 5: This is all in the name of better communication, and

985
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 5: your communication is going to get better if that's what

986
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 5: you choose to focus on in therapy and with your wife.

987
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 5: So that's your first step. And then I want you

988
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 5: to call us in about six weeks and give us

989
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 5: an update.

990
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 8: Oh gosh, all right, Homeorks, Yeah, you got it.

991
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 1: You have homework. This is serious.

992
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 8: Yeah, this is really serious. And it's six weeks definitely.

993
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:44,439
Speaker 8: That's that hits us right on the head too. I'm

994
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 8: gonna be going back to court and uh trying not

995
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,760
Speaker 8: to cry.

996
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay to right.

997
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 8: And it's and I know she's good in there and

998
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 8: so am I. And it just sucks, like, how do

999
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 8: you like just separate that emotion, put the proper boundaries

1000
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 8: up to move for you know, and I think I

1001
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 8: had never thought of that to that's huge. To even

1002
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 8: suggest that to my therapist, that's a huge step. Like, hey,

1003
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 8: just come you know, she knows that I've been with

1004
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 8: my therapist for a long time now, Like just come

1005
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 8: on in and just have it communicate and child in

1006
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 8: the proper way. That's a huge step.

1007
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's huge.

1008
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 8: I appreciate that advice because you're just looking in and

1009
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 8: getting me set straight right now. That's what I needed

1010
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 8: from me. I need you to get me focused.

1011
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 5: Maren shares custody with her acts for her child. So Maren,

1012
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 5: do you have any words of encouragement for him?

1013
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 7: I mean, it's so clear that you both care about

1014
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 7: your son so deeply, and that's like going to be

1015
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 7: the thing that saves you through all of this grief,

1016
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 7: and like the car crash that is divorced, it's like

1017
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 7: the worst thing you can go through, and it's it's

1018
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,439
Speaker 7: a death. Now that I'm kind of on the other

1019
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 7: side of it, and we are great co parents and

1020
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 7: we've sort of let each other go in that romantic sense,

1021
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 7: even though we still have so much love and history

1022
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 7: and now a child to like, you know, be there

1023
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 7: for I think I think I was saying earlier it's

1024
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 7: like the person you marry is not the person that

1025
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 7: you divorce on both ends, Like she might be thinking

1026
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 7: that as well, and it's just that's like the hardest

1027
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 7: part is knowing that it's not the same. But for

1028
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 7: your son, I think the therapy idea, and obviously it's your therapist,

1029
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 7: so she might come in feeling a little bit like

1030
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,879
Speaker 7: ganged up on. So I think the suggestion of if

1031
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 7: it's someone she's more comfortable with, I think just as

1032
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 7: long as there's a third party who's a professional in

1033
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 7: the room being like holding you too accountable and giving

1034
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 7: you tools on how to talk to each other, you

1035
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 7: just fuel all of that self care and love and

1036
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 7: like respect for yourself that is going to be so

1037
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 7: apparent to her and your son this time, Like give

1038
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 7: yourself the time to like be you know, a little

1039
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 7: bit of a mess. It's grief, be sad, cry, journal,

1040
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 7: meditate all the things. But I think, yeah, logistically, of course,

1041
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 7: like get a session on the books where it's the

1042
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 7: three of you, and I think that's just an amazing

1043
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 7: way to go forward it, especially like if it's before

1044
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:09,760
Speaker 7: the court date and the judge, at least in Tennessee

1045
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 7: ends up like telling you how to split the co

1046
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 7: parenting schedule, and I will say, like, that's very bizarre,

1047
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 7: but also gives me comfort to know that, Like, and

1048
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 7: I think my ex husband as well, Like the state

1049
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:27,720
Speaker 7: has given us this split and we have to abide

1050
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 7: by it. So there's no like, well do you get

1051
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 7: easter or do I Like it's in writing and that

1052
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 7: kind of just it takes us and our emotions out

1053
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 7: of it, which is really helpful for both of us.

1054
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 1: Now.

1055
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 7: It's like I won't say easy, and we do co

1056
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 7: parents super well now, but like you just have to

1057
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 7: allow yourself that time to feel all the feelings and

1058
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 7: know that this is like a lot of probably residual

1059
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 7: stuff coming up from like your transition and as time

1060
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 7: it was so brave to do so, like before we

1061
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 7: had all the resources and talks about trans people like

1062
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 7: you were so ahead of that, Like and being a

1063
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 7: champion for your community and yourself. I think like rekindling

1064
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 7: that as well, like go out there with your community again,

1065
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 7: like go do those talks again.

1066
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 6: I think that'll bring you so much like empowerment.

1067
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 8: You hit that on the head. So I recently started

1068
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 8: joining some trans groups again and I was actually just

1069
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 8: you know, so that starts actually.

1070
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 6: Next week and amazing, Yeah, so.

1071
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 8: You actually hit you guys are hitting air out of

1072
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 8: the head. It's like a lot of that did come up,

1073
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 8: I think because I felt like a lot and maybe

1074
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 8: even put that pressure on her if she and I

1075
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,800
Speaker 8: can even get to that on her like that. She

1076
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 8: accepted that and I put a lot of that on

1077
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 8: her and I put her on a pedestal that way.

1078
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 8: And now having a child, like like kind of what

1079
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 8: you said, I realized one conditional love is not just

1080
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 8: with the child with another person and kind of like

1081
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 8: which is almost like a choice, but it is. It

1082
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 8: is a choice and it isn't at the same time

1083
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 8: like when you realized I'm conditional love. It's incredible and

1084
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,360
Speaker 8: I know deep Balncey has that for me. It's just

1085
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 8: like what you guys are saying. You guys hitting it

1086
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 8: on the head, and I appreciate it, like getting through

1087
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 8: some of that residual resentment or whatever that we just

1088
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 8: never dealt with. We never dealt with it. We just

1089
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 8: we just I think got together very young and just

1090
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,439
Speaker 8: kind of kept shelling stuff and you know, getting through

1091
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 8: having fun through it or distractions. It's not dealing with it,

1092
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 8: you know.

1093
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, Mike, will you check in with us in

1094
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 2: about six weeks?

1095
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 8: I sure will. I appreciate that. Thank you for that accountability.

1096
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, take care of Mike.

1097
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,840
Speaker 8: All right, So fanculady so much. I really appreciate everything

1098
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 8: it really, I'm really going to take it serious.

1099
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 1: Good thanks, Mike, appreciate you. That was a very heavy

1100
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: phone call. Well done everyone, well done.

1101
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 7: But amazing too, Like you could just tell he knew

1102
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 7: a lot of this already and is so self aware.

1103
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 7: But also sometimes, like we were saying earlier, just someone

1104
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:58,879
Speaker 7: tell me what to.

1105
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,280
Speaker 1: Do next, Yes, exactly.

1106
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 5: Well.

1107
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,720
Speaker 2: Our next question comes from Ali.

1108
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 3: She is twenty two. Dear Chelsea, my name is Ali.

1109
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 3: I'm just starting out in music. I have the urge

1110
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 3: to rush everything. I'm writing music whenever it comes to me,

1111
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 3: and all I want to do is post it on

1112
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 3: my Instagram to quote unquote prove something.

1113
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 8: I know.

1114
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 3: I have nothing to prove. Really, I know I can

1115
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 3: do it. I'm currently looking to get back into school

1116
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,240
Speaker 3: since I had to take some time off from college

1117
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:28,359
Speaker 3: for mental health treatment. Music has been so amazing at

1118
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,240
Speaker 3: helping me process things and start to feel like myself again.

1119
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 3: I wrote a lot of poetry and treatment that I

1120
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 3: want to set to music, so that's a big motivator.

1121
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 3: I'm starting piano lessons in June, and I'm studying music

1122
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,800
Speaker 3: theory till then. Any advice, what else should I study

1123
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 3: to help better myself. I've flown the rainbow of different

1124
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 3: self love practices, but how can I practice the art

1125
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 3: of patients? Sincerely, Ali, Hi, Alio, it's good to see you.

1126
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 5: This is Maren Morris, our special guest today. Perfect timing

1127
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 5: for your question.

1128
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean a great question because I think patience

1129
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 7: is the hardest thing for me to deal with, because

1130
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:11,279
Speaker 7: I'm just so type A when it becomes about like

1131
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:13,919
Speaker 7: my decision making and like how do I get here?

1132
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 7: Let's bring into action just like the thought of waiting

1133
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 7: on something is so frustrating. But I think it's amazing that,

1134
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 7: like at this age, you've discovered these new lanes of

1135
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 7: like creativity and therapy. Also, I mean I cannot play

1136
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 7: the piano, I can barely play the guitar, but like

1137
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 7: if I didn't have that tool to write songs too.

1138
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 7: I know there are people that can write songs without

1139
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 7: playing an instrument, but I just find it so helpful

1140
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 7: and like really liberating to not have to rely on

1141
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 7: someone else to play the music for you. So I

1142
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 7: think it's amazing that you like you have lessons planned. Yeah,

1143
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 7: and the music theory thing is also like so helpful,

1144
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 7: especially if you're getting into piano. Music theory will really

1145
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 7: help you with that I'm like more ear trained with.

1146
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 7: But yeah, I mean, I think it's wonderful. But I

1147
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:09,280
Speaker 7: think when I give advice, like to songwriters, the word

1148
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 7: patience is always the first thing I say. It is

1149
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:15,359
Speaker 7: because there's so many people. I don't know if you're

1150
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 7: wanting to do this like professionally or like just have

1151
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 7: it for your own tool of healing. But yeah, I

1152
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 7: just think like giving yourself the time to experience life

1153
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 7: and be able to write through it, and also like

1154
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 7: give yourself those days where like allow yourself to write

1155
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 7: something terrible like that is so important is to like

1156
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:41,400
Speaker 7: tell yourself, this is not a reflection of my talent.

1157
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 7: Some days I will write something that is so unlistenable

1158
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 7: to anyone but me, and that's okay. Like I got

1159
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,720
Speaker 7: it out of the of the pipe, but like something

1160
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 7: greater is behind it, hopefully. So yeah, like dare to

1161
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 7: suck write a bad song, write like a shit piece

1162
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 7: of poetry and just be like, Okay, that's off, onto

1163
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 7: the next one.

1164
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 5: I also think on the subject of patients, I have

1165
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 5: no patience either. I have to work very, very hard

1166
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 5: at my patients. But I understand that impulse to want

1167
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 5: to share something that you think is great. But as

1168
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,839
Speaker 5: a twenty two year old artist, you have so much

1169
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 5: room to grow. And I know that's not what you

1170
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,439
Speaker 5: want to hear because you think you're great now, right,

1171
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,359
Speaker 5: But you're only going to get greater. You're only going

1172
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 5: to get better at your craft as you age, and

1173
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 5: as you experience more and more songwriting and you sing more,

1174
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 5: and you learn the piano and you learn and you

1175
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 5: get to know yourself in a better way as an artist.

1176
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,720
Speaker 5: So when you're holding, when you have that impulse to share,

1177
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 5: I have to put this on social. I have to

1178
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 5: put this on social. Sometimes you should, and sometimes if

1179
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 5: you just wait a day, wait like twenty four hours,

1180
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 5: like start to train your brain. This is going to

1181
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 5: be a big favorite to you as you get older

1182
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 5: as an artist, wait a minute and digest it and

1183
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:56,919
Speaker 5: then listen to it again then the next day and think,

1184
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 5: is this really something I want to put out there?

1185
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 5: Because you're only going to get better at what you do,

1186
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 5: so why not wait and make sure that it's as

1187
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 5: good as it can get before you share everything that's happening.

1188
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's really important because we do live

1189
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 3: in this culture of like, if I made something, I

1190
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 3: have to put it out there for everyone to see,

1191
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 3: and especially as you're this baby artist, like that can

1192
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 3: be intimidating to say the very least of you know,

1193
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 3: putting something in front of people. And I think there's

1194
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,319
Speaker 3: power in allowing it to be for yourself for a

1195
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 3: little while and nurture yourself and let yourself grow.

1196
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:31,680
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1197
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 9: I love all those sentiments I have with the urges.

1198
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 9: It's like this urge to like show the process and.

1199
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 10: Like how much I've improved, but really, like I like

1200
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 10: what you were saying about like sitting on it and

1201
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 10: then also writing the bad music, like it's all like

1202
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 10: a part of the process.

1203
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 5: It is, and you should write that down, just write

1204
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 5: wait on a nice like index card or piece of paper.

1205
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 5: I put it on your mirror and then really think

1206
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 5: it through. Don't do things like listen. I am a

1207
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 5: very impulsive person, but I've learned over the years, and

1208
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:05,840
Speaker 5: it took me a long time to learn this.

1209
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: So you're twenty two.

1210
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 5: So if you can take this advice and really stick

1211
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 5: with it, you're gonna be even more successful than you

1212
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:14,800
Speaker 5: would have been had you not taken advice.

1213
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: But wait, whenever you have an.

1214
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 5: Impulse, just seriously sleep on it, look at it again

1215
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 5: in the morning, and if you feel the same way,

1216
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 5: then sure, put it out. But just don't do things

1217
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 5: by like the seat of your pants. It's just not

1218
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:28,440
Speaker 5: as productive as people think it is.

1219
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 7: Yeah, and Ali, Ali, Like, I will tell you a

1220
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 7: quick story about how I have auditioned for every single

1221
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 7: talent show that's on television. Like when I was a teenager,

1222
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 7: my mom dragged me to American Idol Star Search, America's

1223
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 7: Got Talent, The Voice. They all said no, And I

1224
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 7: moved to Nashville when I was twenty three just to

1225
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 7: write songs for other artists. And I didn't get a

1226
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 7: record deal until I was twenty six, So like, thank god,

1227
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 7: I didn't make it onto any of those shows because

1228
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 7: I was so corny and not ready, like not ready

1229
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 7: to be seen on a public level by any means,

1230
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 7: and I just wouldn't have handled it well. But by

1231
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,439
Speaker 7: the time I was like twenty five is twenty six,

1232
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 7: I was like, Okay, I know what my sound is.

1233
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 7: And that's after also like fifteen years of touring that

1234
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,439
Speaker 7: I was like, it took me a second to learn

1235
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 7: from other writers in Nashville, like how to write songs

1236
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 7: and how to collaborate. So yeah, just like that was

1237
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 7: my patient's lesson was thank god all these shows said

1238
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 7: absolutely not to me, because now I think I'd be

1239
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 7: I'd be cringing and like trying to scrub it from

1240
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 7: the internet.

1241
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 6: So it happens when it happens.

1242
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I'm really reallyeved to hear that because like

1243
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 9: I kind of am sitting on that too, because like

1244
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 9: I have urages to like sign up for like try

1245
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,439
Speaker 9: you know those shows they were talking about.

1246
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 1: It's I just.

1247
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 10: Want to wait like till I am like feeling fully confident.

1248
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: Yes, wait for that. It's coming. It's coming your way,

1249
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 1: I promise.

1250
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 3: And Mary, you bring up a really good point about

1251
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 3: collaboration too. I would love to see you ali as

1252
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 3: you're getting started in this, like find yourself a community

1253
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 3: of musicians, find one or two other people who you

1254
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 3: can like a jam with, like run things by because

1255
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 3: it is such a collaborative process.

1256
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: And as far as.

1257
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 3: Posting stuff, like it's not to say you can't be recording,

1258
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 3: because I think that's a great idea to be recording

1259
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 3: your progress as you go, but like, don't feel pressure

1260
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 3: to post right now.

1261
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 8: Thank you.

1262
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 9: That's really good to hear.

1263
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: Oh well, good luck with everything. Thanks for calling in.

1264
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 9: Thank you for giving all the experience.

1265
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.

1266
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 2: We'll check in with you in six months.

1267
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, thank you so much.

1268
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 6: Awesome Sally.

1269
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 5: You guys, I would review that as an A plus

1270
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 5: call call and deliver great, great advice from an actual musician,

1271
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 5: a successful musician, and me. Okay, we're going to take

1272
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 5: a break. We're going to take a break and come

1273
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 5: back and say goodbye to Maren Morris. Please tag me

1274
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 5: for the special because I get so many tags about

1275
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 5: my books, but I'm not getting as many about my special,

1276
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 5: and my Special is the newest thing out, so I

1277
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 5: want to make sure all my ardent fans are watching

1278
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 5: it and tagging me, and I'll repost you and yes

1279
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 5: it's called the Feeling, and we're back with Maren Morris.

1280
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 5: I want to just read a quote before we say

1281
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 5: goodbye to Maren. This is with her new album Dreamsicle

1282
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 5: Is comes out May ninth on all platforms, and this

1283
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 5: is an album quote from Maren that I want to read.

1284
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 5: Dreamsicle takes place in the aftermath of loosening my grip

1285
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 5: on my personal and professional life, sweeping through the pits

1286
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 5: of grief but never staying too long, and finding the

1287
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 5: joy in knowing that at my core, I'm still who

1288
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 5: I am and that's pretty fucking great. No monster in

1289
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 5: the mirror, no shame laid in decade or unraveling what happened,

1290
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 5: just acceptance, release, and the reclaiming of how strong I've

1291
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 5: always been, with no need to dim or water down

1292
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 5: its essence any longer. Dreams the Call became less about

1293
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 5: the hard lessons and more about enjoying the bumpy ride

1294
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 5: and finding people who genuinely want to be on.

1295
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:08,640
Speaker 1: It with you because they love you.

1296
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 5: It's about appreciating and respecting the beauty and nuances of

1297
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 5: life while it's happening, not after it's too late. That's

1298
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 5: really beautiful and I wanted to share that with all

1299
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 5: of our listeners.

1300
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you the spirit the spirit of your album.

1301
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say so.

1302
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 7: And I wrote that like three months ago, so I'm like,

1303
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:28,919
Speaker 7: I'm glad I still feel this way.

1304
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1305
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 7: I think it's just it's so tough to like put

1306
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 7: work out and be like, is this like your magnum opus,

1307
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 7: Like you just can't think about that. You just have

1308
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 7: to write what you're going through and have the stones

1309
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 7: to put it out and be received and loved and

1310
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 7: critiqued and hated and all the shit. But it's like

1311
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 7: you have to get it out of your body and

1312
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 7: your mind, and I think, yeah, there is such a

1313
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 7: release in that and not feeling like tethered to the

1314
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 7: past or the like practice of nostalgia and just truly

1315
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 7: being able to enjoy something while you're still in it.

1316
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1317
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 7: I mean, let's circle back when I'm forty and I'll

1318
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 7: revisit that quote. But I feel proud of it.

1319
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: You should feel proud of it. I'm proud of you.

1320
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 5: And I don't even I don't say that in a

1321
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 5: patronizing mother maternal way.

1322
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 1: I just mean, from woman to woman, I'm proud.

1323
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 6: Well, same.

1324
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to try and catch you on tour.

1325
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 5: The tour starts July twelfth and shows she's doing US,

1326
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 5: Europe and UK. So get your tickets at Marenmarris dot com.

1327
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 5: And I'm going to come find you, Maren and come

1328
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 5: to one of your shows.

1329
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 7: Yes, yes, I know you saw me at the Pink Show,

1330
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 7: but yes, this will be our stage.

1331
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. Yeah, we'll be back. So nice speaking

1332
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 1: with you today.

1333
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 6: Thank you, yeah, thank you for having me.

1334
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 1: Have a great day y'all too. Bye, every buy.

1335
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 5: Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates

1336
01:02:54,280 --> 01:03:00,280
Speaker 5: for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be

1337
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 5: in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.

1338
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 5: We will be the next date that I'm there July fifth,

1339
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 5: August thirtieth.

1340
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 1: And then November one and twenty ninth.

1341
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 5: November one and November twenty ninth, I will be in

1342
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 5: Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

1343
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,

1344
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 1: thank you.

1345
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea

1346
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of

1347
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.

1348
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited and

1349
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 3: Engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be

1350
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:45,000
Speaker 3: sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com