WEBVTT - Dear Crystal 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:12.480 Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:18.119 This edition is positive Tea where you ask the questions 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:23.840 and I provide the answer and a little tea. So 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:29.600 let's get into it, shall we. So our first question 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:34.080 is how do you feel knowing that people travel and 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:37.519 come to church hoping that they will meet you, and 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:45.239 that some people have even followed you after church. I'm 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:55.040 gonna say this. I do not feel like church is 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:59.440 the place for anybody to be coming to see anybody 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:02.080 except for Good. That's the only person you need to 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:03.960 be coming to see when you come to the church house. 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.440 And I feel like, in a way, it's playing with God, 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.560 like I don't play it. That's that's my sacred time 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:13.440 with him, you know. And people don't understand like when 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:18.360 when people do stuff like that, especially to people in 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:22.440 my situation, it can make people not want to come 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:24.240 to church. I know a lot of celebrities that don't 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:26.679 come because of those very reasons. They don't feel safe. 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.280 And I did hear about that. I heard that somebody 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:36.320 followed me after church, and it was very disturbing. And 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.520 I don't want anybody. I want people to come because 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:41.600 they see a light on me. And they want to 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:45.000 be fed where I'm being fed. Eva Marcella and I 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:46.840 had an episode together and she'd asked me, I want 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.880 to come to church with you. I was like, absolutely, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.440 but what made you ask me to come to church? 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:52.680 And she was like, you just got a light on 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:54.200 you and I wanted to be fed where you were 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.640 being fed. That's what I want, Like, I don't want 0:01:57.680 --> 0:01:59.920 to hide where I'm going to church because I want 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:03.040 to bring as many people as I can to guide, 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:05.400 but I don't want people coming just so they can 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:10.560 meet me. And that is such a vulnerable space. When 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:14.960 I'm in church, I'm at one with God. I'm trying 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.959 to draw closer to Him, and I've had people come 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.920 up to me asking me questions, want to take pictures, 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:25.960 telling me how much the podcast means to them. And 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.520 sometimes you don't know what a person's going through spiritually, 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.880 And even when I'm leaving church, sometimes hours after church, 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:37.720 I'm still encountering God and sometimes that's an interruption of 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:42.560 that moment. And I say this because I appreciate every 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.760 single one of you that watch me, that support me, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.959 that watch this podcast, that watch anything that I do. 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:52.200 When I say with my whole heart. I love you 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:54.920 guys so much, and I know that none of this 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.120 will be possible without your love and support. And I 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:01.440 don't take that for granted. But at the time, I 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:05.720 don't take my walk with God lightly. And when I'm 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.480 in that vulnerable space and sub submitting myself to Him 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.720 and trying to really hear his word and what he 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:16.079 says me from whatever Pasaderius Daniels is preaching, I'm I'm 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:20.120 I'm literally like right there with God. And I've had 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:24.160 I've been in tears. You witnessed this. I remember that 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.880 literally in tears, like having a whole moment. It's like 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:30.640 church is just it was amazing. It's every every sun 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:32.760 is amazing. But this day I was having an encounter 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:38.120 with God and a girl came up to Genora and 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.600 was like what's said? Like is that Crystal or can 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:41.640 I tell her? 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:43.760 She just went up to you Like we turned around 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:44.839 cause I was covering. 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:51.760 You recover me yes, like we finishes, yes, and and 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.440 you are like we're vitible to our seats. 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.680 Yes, Like she just stops you and it's like, oh 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:58.320 my god, can I get all Yeah. 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.280 It was like a hey girl, and I'm like, you 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:05.440 see like it's read the room. Like it's some moments 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:08.040 where I just don't feel like people read the room. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:09.920 And I just want to say, like, when it comes 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.160 to church, I do not play about that. I don't 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.640 play about my relationship. I don't play about my my 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.600 where I'm trying to get with God and I'm really 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:24.040 on this journey'll where I am fragile, I'm vulnerable. God 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:27.840 is breaking down walls in me. And when that is happening, 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.680 I just feel like there's a boundary that needs to 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:35.880 be kept, you know what I'm saying. And it's scary, 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.400 you know, Like cause now I had to literally like think, Okay, 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:43.040 do I need to lead church earlier? Do I need 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.400 to drive a different car? Now I'm like thinking of 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.000 like security things when I just want to go to church, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.000 you know what I'm saying, Like thinking about, Okay, if 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:55.159 I go to brunch, I wanted there's a black old 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:57.160 brunch spot that's like right down the street that I 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.440 love to go to and I like to support people, 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:02.320 you know, But now I have to think, Okay, if 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.280 I post where I am, then they're gonna start coming here, 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:09.599 you know. And it's just crazy. So that even goes 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.360 back to somebody asking you, asking me, is it different 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:17.480 when I go out in public now? When they said 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.760 that people were coming to church just to see me 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.680 and hoping to that they would sit out in the 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:24.839 parking lot and if I posted that I was in church, 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.159 then they would come in hoping to get a picture 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:32.080 with me. Don't do that, don't an and even like 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.040 asking people to take pictures in church, I just don't 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:36.000 feel like that's the place for that. 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.120 It's just not the place. I think that like people 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:43.880 that there's I it's like this to your point, like 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:49.720 I we love and appreciate Yes, you love and appreciate you, right, 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.640 and that you mean so much, and that to your point, 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:55.239 the platform this what this podcast means. 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:59.320 Yes, yes, So there has to be sort. 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:03.240 Of like over s respect for what church is in general, 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:09.080 like this is a place where the week come to 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.520 get strong. This is a place where you go to 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.760 be replenished. And you said it so beautifully when you 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:19.760 said you are interrupting a moment where God could be 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:24.240 like could you imagine so being in the midst of 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:28.560 receiving revelation and being put into and getting a word 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.080 from God and getting the hum the spiritual hum that 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.560 she did it from her father and you come up 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:34.760 and you're like, can I get a picture? 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.080 It's crazy, Like you just have to. 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:38.840 I think that there's a part of you and your 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:42.120 faith that you have to allow to believe that God 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:46.640 will create an opportunity, an appropriate opportunity for you guys 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:50.200 to meet. Yeah, Like, trust me, we're going to do 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.919 a life show soon that is in the works, and 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:56.520 meeting Greeks will absolutely happen that. 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.320 The appropriate Yes, And even if you see me out 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:02.520 like I and y'all, I'm the type of person and 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:04.800 this is how I know it's I just don't play 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:07.280 about God. You can see me anywhere else. You can 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:09.280 tell me, oh my god, my mama loves you. I'm 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.080 like collar. I'm that type of person. I'm black collar. 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:18.120 And then your mama answered the phone. Like I've literally 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.240 had people call their mom. I do it all the 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:23.520 time because they're such a fan of Like my mom 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.520 just loves you, or can I get a picture? I 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.480 don't anywhere else. I'm going to give it to you 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:32.560 because I appreciate you guys so much. Just have respect 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.679 for the House of the Lord, because in that space 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.440 it is not about Crystal. It is about God, and 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:40.960 I don't I don't want it to even be about me. 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:43.200 Don't like if you come, it's because you want to. 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.320 I want to see where she's getting fed. I actually 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.040 love the way Pastor Darius Daniels preaches to me. I 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:50.200 love how I feel when I walk into Change Church. 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:53.160 That's what I want you to come forward, not in 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.520 hopes to see or meet me. And I hope this 0:07:56.600 --> 0:07:59.160 is received in the right way, because if you see 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:03.200 me anywhere else, I d by all means please come up. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.680 But when I'm at church, just respect that that is 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:11.600 a moment where I am really actively pursuing God. Yeah, 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:14.320 you know what I'm saying. Yes, Like getting up and 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:17.280 driving to church is me saying God, I'm gonna get up. 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:18.680 I can easayly watch it from home and I have 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:20.680 to worry about none of that. Yes, but it's not 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.360 the same, not the same forsake and assembly, I gotta 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:24.160 get into the house. 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:26.640 It's not the same. And I think I think that 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:32.160 there's something to be said about when you admire and 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:36.439 respect someone. I think part of that admiration is respect, 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:40.240 is respect of their boundaries. M and so you're not 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:41.680 saying don't ever come up to me. 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:48.880 Mm mm. You're just saying respec Yeah, that's not the place. Yeah, right, And. 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.200 If that's what you're coming for, you have to check 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:59.800 your intention. M You have to check if you're coming 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:01.080 into the house. 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.760 Of the Lord. Mm that woo oh yeah yeah yeah. 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:07.440 If you won't come into the house of the Little 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.600 cause you wants to be Crystal, you have made Crystal 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:11.240 your idol. 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.200 Mm uh. And don't do that, child, And what does that? 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:15.880 What does guy say about that? 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:18.600 Mm mm? Have no other idols it for me? Do 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.680 not do that? W y. I'm a jealous gud. He 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.200 don't play about that. Yeah, and I ain't the perch. 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:27.640 I'm'a look you, dick, which was closer to this one, 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:31.000 did d do not idolize me? Yeah? Mm mm. You 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.960 can look up to me, you can be inspired by me, 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:36.320 but do not idolize me. Right, I'm telling you right now, 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.840 don't do that, cause I'm human. I might let you down, 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.960 but he won't. And i'm'a say that, do not do that. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:50.040 Mm mm. What conclusion the space? M my space? You 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.040 know what I'm saying that we if I cause I 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.000 I went to fire night and I'm up there with everybody. 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:57.120 I ain't know who I was next, I'm high five 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.080 and people looking me in the eye. Talk to your 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:00.800 neighbor like i'm'a do that. You know what I'm saying. 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:02.760 I'm not where I'm like, I'm not gonna touch, don't touch. 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:05.440 I'm not that girl like I'm gonna engage with people. 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:09.079 But it's the right space and the right time. Also 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:15.079 the humanity that we love about you, right that, Like, this. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.160 Is your moment where you're. 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.200 Not Crystal from I got two of my own shows. 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.560 Mm mm right, you're not Crystal has a significant platform 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:24.040 with kids. 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.320 You're not Crystal who you see on your favorite television shows. 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:35.920 Do get interview. I'm Crystal, just God's baby, Crystal God's Yeah, 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.520 the same way that you have come to be bad. 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:44.640 I just wanted that's it. Who talk about like, oh. 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:47.680 Celebrities, they act so stuck up normal, they don't do this, 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.040 they don't I'm showing up. 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:53.480 Yeah, as mean literally as me. Yeah. I wanted to 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:58.560 walk out red, Yes, dying daily trying to get ready 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.680 for the next week. Like come on now, that was 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:05.480 good cause you're making Crystal your idol. Yes, that's scary. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:09.280 That is scary. That's scary. That's scary. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.079 Mm my goodness, could. 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:12.720 You acknowledge it? 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:17.600 Ugh? Hold you wake up with you attention of going 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.920 to the House of God to. 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.359 Meet someone on television? 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:28.280 Yeah? Mm mm no, it's crazy. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.120 The House of God. 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:34.199 Cause if you tell like, I wouldn't even be mad 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:35.160 at you if you were like. 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:36.360 Yo, I saw Crystal Pools. 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.680 If that you was that whatever restaurant took, Yeah good, 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:41.560 she likes to way. I'm'a go to helpful maybe ever 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:43.440 that I run into it, that's different. With the house 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.480 so good and then follow me from the House of 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:57.400 God to lunch that is brave and small Scott's Scot's scary, Yeah, scary. 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:03.600 So I'm grateful for my church buddies Marquise and Ryhanda, Keith, 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:06.080 Keith high on me and m just make sure I 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.120 feel safe. They saw me running out of church once 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.360 and they were like, girl, you jetted out of here, 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:14.319 And I was like, cause it's uncomfortable. It's really uncomfortable, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.439 Like I wanna to stay in this space and knowing 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.400 like somebody is running up from the back to try 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:26.160 to get to me, It's it's scary. Yeah, Wow. I 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:36.880 know you do not mm, but inside you are Yeah, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:38.600 so you might be able to do some damage like 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:47.680 a six five period the Real Network. Oh my god. Okay, 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:51.840 let's get to the next question. I'll be twenty eight 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:55.800 on twelve one. Dating has been terrible. I'm at a 0:12:55.800 --> 0:13:00.600 point where I wanna give up. Need advice. Ut, you're 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:04.600 twenty eight, Listen. I think I was twenty six when 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.480 I thought it was all over and I'd given up 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.960 on love. But you have so much more living to do, 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.520 so don't get caught up on the dating world. It's hard, 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:13.640 and the older you get, it's gonna get even harder. 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:18.320 So I would say focus on yourself right now. Love 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.160 is gonna come. The right guy is gonna come. I 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.880 think the more that you put attention on finding the 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:26.839 right guy and being in a relationship, the hard is 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.800 going to be to find it. So just focus on 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.240 the things that you love, your passions and things that 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:36.080 make you happy, and the right man'll come along. Okay. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.520 When Crystal isn't feeling her best? What is your go 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:44.120 to gospel song? Huge fan? Right now? My favorite gospel 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.800 song is kareinne Hawthorne's Look at God. I literally play 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.200 this song at least once a day. My brother and 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.560 I did a car chronicles on this song because I 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.959 just love it so much. It reminds me of God's faithfulness. 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:59.319 It reminds me that He's never left me alone, and 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.760 every time I turn around, as the song says, there's 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.840 more blessings and look at God. So that would definitely 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:09.520 be my favorite song right now. What did you study 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:14.240 in college? I studied mass communications with an emphasis in 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:20.400 public relations and a minor in sociology. Let's see, how 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.680 do you feel about dating someone younger than you and 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:32.240 he's already matured child? I must say for the past 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.240 five years I've dated younger than me. I don't know. 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.760 It's just something about a mature younger guy keeps me youthful, 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.400 So I definitely am not against it. But what I 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.720 have found is that eventually their age catches up to you, 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.400 so you'll start to realize they may be mature in 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:55.560 certain areas, but they're not mature in all areas. Is 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.000 there anything you would tell your younger self to be 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:05.080 more patient with? Good question? I think I would tell 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.600 my younger self, don't rush trying to get where you 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.680 feel like you want to go enjoy the moment, be present. 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:13.960 I think I missed out in so many moments because 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.560 I was in such a rush to get to my 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.280 dreams or to get married or find the right guy. 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:22.960 I had all these different ideas of where I wanted 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:25.360 to be that I wasn't being present. So that's one 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:27.160 thing I would definitely tell my younger self, and to 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:33.320 be patient with yourself. How does your days out differ 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.560 now that more people recognize who you are? Oh my goodness, y'all. 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:41.960 So it took me a minute to realize that I 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.760 was famous and that people recognize me. My manager, do Nora, 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:47.640 I'll tell her, Hey, I'm had to run into the 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:49.600 story Cooks. She's like, You're not going in there by yourself, 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.720 and I'm like, why not, Like nobody's gonna bother me. 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:53.920 And then we get in the story and it's like 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.160 people are like peeking behind shells, like can we get 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.760 a picture with you? So it definitely is awkward at 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:05.440 times because I forget. I think I'm just crystal. You know, 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:09.280 I've lived my whole life moving the way I move, 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:13.800 and to have to start making adjustments is definitely different. 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.960 What is your favorite color and food? My favorite color 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.200 is black. Y'all make so much fun of me because 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.840 I wear black all the time. I love the color 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:30.160 black because it goes with everything. And my favorite food 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.800 would have to be Italian food. I love Italian food. 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.600 I'm not a big leftovers person, but I will eat 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:40.920 Italian food leftovers. It's always good the second day. How 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:46.160 many tattoos do you have? So I have this angel 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:50.560 tattoo right here. It is actually a cover up. It 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.440 was my first tattoo. I had gotten my mother's name 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:58.680 Helen in my handwriting tattooed on my wrist and I 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.160 jumped because it hurts. So this is a very tender 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.040 area to get a tattoo, so I end up getting 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.439 it covered up with angel wings in a halo. I 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:08.560 lost my mother's the age of two, so this is 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:12.560 something that I look at daily and remember her. So 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.920 that's one. I have music knows behind my ear. I 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.400 have love on my middle finger. This was initially inspired 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.280 by Rihanna when she had the love tattoo, and it 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:26.840 means peace and love or f love just depending on 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:32.320 the day, just being honest. And then I have carpe 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:39.840 dim and Arabic on my side. I have tattoos I 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:46.040 think are like six or seven tattoos in total. Let's see, 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:50.160 do you want children? If so, have you considered freezing 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.679 your eggs? So I have a friend that like literally 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.880 hits me every birthday and reminds me that I'm getting 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.400 old and that I need to freeze my eggs. I'm like, girl, 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.480 if you don't leave me alone, I'll do it when 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:03.440 I feel like doing it. I used to put so 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:07.920 much pressure on myself about having children because I felt 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.919 like I was getting older. Society like literally pushes it 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.240 down your throat that you're getting older, and the older 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:14.840 you get, you're not gonna be able to have children. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.040 So for a long time I did put a lot 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:19.640 of pressure on myself. I have not gotten my eggs 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:22.680 frozen yet. It is something I think about, but I 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:27.080 also want to keep hope that if it's in the 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:29.800 cars me, God will let it happen naturally. So at 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.040 this point in my life, I'm not focused on it. 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:34.520 It's not something I'm like, Ooh, I want to have 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:36.560 kids and that I'm in a hurry to do. But 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.159 the thought has crossed my mind to freeze my eggs. 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:45.639 How do did you deal with body dysmorphia. I'm struggling 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:51.800 to love and accept myself. For me, this is good. 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:57.400 I struggle with it. It was mainly because of this phone. Really, 0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:59.360 it was mainly because of this phone that I had 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.800 body this more feel because I was getting on Instagram 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:04.480 every day and seeing all these girls with a perfect 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:08.240 body that wasn't real. But you couldn't tell me that. 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.159 I didn't know at that point. I didn't know that 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:13.280 there was apps that you could like cometo your body 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:15.080 and make you look perfect till you start seeing people 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:16.680 in real life and be like, oh, you don't look 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:20.040 anything like you doing your pictures. And then that's when 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:22.280 I realized this wasn't a real thing. And a lot 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.440 of times body dys morphia comes from comparison, or for 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:27.840 me at least, that's what it was. I was comparing 0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:30.720 myself to other women for what I thought men wanted, 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:33.320 and looking at myself thinking well, I don't look like 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.920 these girls, and you start to feel bad about yourself. 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.280 What I would do is look at yourself every morning 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.520 and say that I'm beautiful the way I am, and 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.080 I love myself the way God made me. Now there 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.960 are things that you could do, you know, to look 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:52.320 better by working out or eating a healthier diet. You know, 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.320 there's things that you could do to make your body 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.040 look the best that it can look. But never feel 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.760 like your body isn't good enough the way God created, 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:02.680 because if everybody looked the same, then it'd be a 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.800 very boring world. It's like you the perfect the way 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:10.000 you are. How do you chase dreams if you have 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:13.240 very very low self esteem? What steps or advice would 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:17.359 you give? This is a really good question. Honestly, you can't. 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:19.919 I feel like until you have the confidence to know 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:21.679 that you can do what you set your mind to, 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:24.600 you won't be able to set out and do it. 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:26.359 So you have to work on yourself first, do the 0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:29.240 self work, and then figure out what it is that 0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:31.280 you want to work towards. And once you build that 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.159 confidence up to know that, hey, this is what I 0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:35.400 want to do and I can do it, you're gonna 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:41.080 be fun. Is it normal to feel nervous about starting therapy. 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:45.760 I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, ma'am. Yes, I'm telling you 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:50.280 right now. I started therapy last year and it didn't 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.680 work out for me. I was like, this isn't for me. 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.520 And because I was scared to open up. I wasn't 0:20:56.520 --> 0:20:59.000 being honest with the therapist because I really didn't feel 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:03.520 that trust with her. It wasn't until this year that 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.639 I found someone that I can completely let my guard 0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:09.200 down with and just be honest with. And that's when 0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:11.200 I started to get help. So I would say, the 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:13.760 first thing you need to do is find somebody that 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:17.159 you trust, talk to you try. I mean you can 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:19.560 date therapists, not date them, but like you can literally 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:23.000 like see, okay, who fits me? Like who do I 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:25.280 connect the most with? Find that person and then stick 0:21:25.320 --> 0:21:27.960 with that person, because if you don't have that connection 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:30.240 with them, you're never gonna grow the way you need to, 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.520 at least to the maximum potential that you have to grow. 0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:38.119 I want to know what helps you with your walk 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:43.879 with God and reading the Bible. Honestly, the thing that 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:48.720 helps me with my walk with God is knowing and 0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:51.760 experiencing the mercy of God and his grace. I have 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:56.120 done things that I've been ashamed of, things that I've 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:59.280 been guilty of, and carry that guilt and shame, and 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:02.879 to see how God continues to show his love just 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:06.000 draws me closer to him and as far as reading 0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:09.880 the Bible. I had talked about this on my one 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:13.159 of my stories that Country Wayne, when I did an 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.159 episode with him. He had talked about how he had 0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.320 read the Bible seven times and he was on his 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:20.640 eighth trip through the Bible, and I was like, oh, 0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:23.080 my goodness, I hadn't made through it one time. So 0:22:23.440 --> 0:22:25.439 I was going through a really dark season, and I 0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:28.879 think sometimes in those seasons is when God really tugs 0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:30.840 at you. And I had just had this conversation and 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.080 I was like, you know what, I want to read 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:34.960