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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie.

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Speaker 1: This edition is positive Tea where you ask the questions

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Speaker 1: and I provide the answer and a little tea. So

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Speaker 1: let's get into it, shall we. So our first question

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Speaker 1: is how do you feel knowing that people travel and

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Speaker 1: come to church hoping that they will meet you, and

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Speaker 1: that some people have even followed you after church. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say this. I do not feel like church is

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Speaker 1: the place for anybody to be coming to see anybody

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Speaker 1: except for Good. That's the only person you need to

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Speaker 1: be coming to see when you come to the church house.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like, in a way, it's playing with God,

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Speaker 1: like I don't play it. That's that's my sacred time

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Speaker 1: with him, you know. And people don't understand like when

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Speaker 1: when people do stuff like that, especially to people in

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Speaker 1: my situation, it can make people not want to come

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Speaker 1: to church. I know a lot of celebrities that don't

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Speaker 1: come because of those very reasons. They don't feel safe.

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Speaker 1: And I did hear about that. I heard that somebody

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Speaker 1: followed me after church, and it was very disturbing. And

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Speaker 1: I don't want anybody. I want people to come because

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Speaker 1: they see a light on me. And they want to

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Speaker 1: be fed where I'm being fed. Eva Marcella and I

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Speaker 1: had an episode together and she'd asked me, I want

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Speaker 1: to come to church with you. I was like, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: but what made you ask me to come to church?

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Speaker 1: And she was like, you just got a light on

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Speaker 1: you and I wanted to be fed where you were

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Speaker 1: being fed. That's what I want, Like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to hide where I'm going to church because I want

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Speaker 1: to bring as many people as I can to guide,

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Speaker 1: but I don't want people coming just so they can

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Speaker 1: meet me. And that is such a vulnerable space. When

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Speaker 1: I'm in church, I'm at one with God. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to draw closer to Him, and I've had people come

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Speaker 1: up to me asking me questions, want to take pictures,

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Speaker 1: telling me how much the podcast means to them. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes you don't know what a person's going through spiritually,

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Speaker 1: And even when I'm leaving church, sometimes hours after church,

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Speaker 1: I'm still encountering God and sometimes that's an interruption of

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Speaker 1: that moment. And I say this because I appreciate every

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Speaker 1: single one of you that watch me, that support me,

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Speaker 1: that watch this podcast, that watch anything that I do.

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Speaker 1: When I say with my whole heart. I love you

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Speaker 1: guys so much, and I know that none of this

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Speaker 1: will be possible without your love and support. And I

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Speaker 1: don't take that for granted. But at the time, I

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Speaker 1: don't take my walk with God lightly. And when I'm

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Speaker 1: in that vulnerable space and sub submitting myself to Him

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Speaker 1: and trying to really hear his word and what he

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Speaker 1: says me from whatever Pasaderius Daniels is preaching, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm literally like right there with God. And I've had

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Speaker 1: I've been in tears. You witnessed this. I remember that

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Speaker 1: literally in tears, like having a whole moment. It's like

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Speaker 1: church is just it was amazing. It's every every sun

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Speaker 1: is amazing. But this day I was having an encounter

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Speaker 1: with God and a girl came up to Genora and

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Speaker 1: was like what's said? Like is that Crystal or can

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Speaker 1: I tell her?

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Speaker 2: She just went up to you Like we turned around

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Speaker 2: cause I was covering.

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Speaker 1: You recover me yes, like we finishes, yes, and and

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Speaker 1: you are like we're vitible to our seats.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Like she just stops you and it's like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, can I get all Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was like a hey girl, and I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: see like it's read the room. Like it's some moments

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Speaker 1: where I just don't feel like people read the room.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to say, like, when it comes

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Speaker 1: to church, I do not play about that. I don't

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Speaker 1: play about my relationship. I don't play about my my

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Speaker 1: where I'm trying to get with God and I'm really

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Speaker 1: on this journey'll where I am fragile, I'm vulnerable. God

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Speaker 1: is breaking down walls in me. And when that is happening,

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Speaker 1: I just feel like there's a boundary that needs to

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Speaker 1: be kept, you know what I'm saying. And it's scary,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like cause now I had to literally like think, Okay,

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Speaker 1: do I need to lead church earlier? Do I need

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Speaker 1: to drive a different car? Now I'm like thinking of

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Speaker 1: like security things when I just want to go to church,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like thinking about, Okay, if

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Speaker 1: I go to brunch, I wanted there's a black old

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Speaker 1: brunch spot that's like right down the street that I

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Speaker 1: love to go to and I like to support people,

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Speaker 1: you know, But now I have to think, Okay, if

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Speaker 1: I post where I am, then they're gonna start coming here,

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Speaker 1: you know. And it's just crazy. So that even goes

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Speaker 1: back to somebody asking you, asking me, is it different

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Speaker 1: when I go out in public now? When they said

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Speaker 1: that people were coming to church just to see me

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Speaker 1: and hoping to that they would sit out in the

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Speaker 1: parking lot and if I posted that I was in church,

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Speaker 1: then they would come in hoping to get a picture

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Speaker 1: with me. Don't do that, don't an and even like

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Speaker 1: asking people to take pictures in church, I just don't

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Speaker 1: feel like that's the place for that.

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Speaker 2: It's just not the place. I think that like people

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Speaker 2: that there's I it's like this to your point, like

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Speaker 2: I we love and appreciate Yes, you love and appreciate you, right,

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Speaker 2: and that you mean so much, and that to your point,

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Speaker 2: the platform this what this podcast means.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So there has to be sort.

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Speaker 2: Of like over s respect for what church is in general,

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Speaker 2: like this is a place where the week come to

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Speaker 2: get strong. This is a place where you go to

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Speaker 2: be replenished. And you said it so beautifully when you

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Speaker 2: said you are interrupting a moment where God could be

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Speaker 2: like could you imagine so being in the midst of

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Speaker 2: receiving revelation and being put into and getting a word

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Speaker 2: from God and getting the hum the spiritual hum that

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Speaker 2: she did it from her father and you come up

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Speaker 2: and you're like, can I get a picture?

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Speaker 1: It's crazy, Like you just have to.

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Speaker 2: I think that there's a part of you and your

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Speaker 2: faith that you have to allow to believe that God

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Speaker 2: will create an opportunity, an appropriate opportunity for you guys

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Speaker 2: to meet. Yeah, Like, trust me, we're going to do

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Speaker 2: a life show soon that is in the works, and

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Speaker 2: meeting Greeks will absolutely happen that.

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Speaker 1: The appropriate Yes, And even if you see me out

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Speaker 1: like I and y'all, I'm the type of person and

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Speaker 1: this is how I know it's I just don't play

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Speaker 1: about God. You can see me anywhere else. You can

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Speaker 1: tell me, oh my god, my mama loves you. I'm

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Speaker 1: like collar. I'm that type of person. I'm black collar.

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Speaker 1: And then your mama answered the phone. Like I've literally

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Speaker 1: had people call their mom. I do it all the

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Speaker 1: time because they're such a fan of Like my mom

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Speaker 1: just loves you, or can I get a picture? I

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Speaker 1: don't anywhere else. I'm going to give it to you

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Speaker 1: because I appreciate you guys so much. Just have respect

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Speaker 1: for the House of the Lord, because in that space

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Speaker 1: it is not about Crystal. It is about God, and

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't want it to even be about me.

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Speaker 1: Don't like if you come, it's because you want to.

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Speaker 1: I want to see where she's getting fed. I actually

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Speaker 1: love the way Pastor Darius Daniels preaches to me. I

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Speaker 1: love how I feel when I walk into Change Church.

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Speaker 1: That's what I want you to come forward, not in

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Speaker 1: hopes to see or meet me. And I hope this

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Speaker 1: is received in the right way, because if you see

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Speaker 1: me anywhere else, I d by all means please come up.

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Speaker 1: But when I'm at church, just respect that that is

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Speaker 1: a moment where I am really actively pursuing God. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Yes, Like getting up and

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Speaker 1: driving to church is me saying God, I'm gonna get up.

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Speaker 1: I can easayly watch it from home and I have

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Speaker 1: to worry about none of that. Yes, but it's not

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Speaker 1: the same, not the same forsake and assembly, I gotta

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Speaker 1: get into the house.

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Speaker 2: It's not the same. And I think I think that

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Speaker 2: there's something to be said about when you admire and

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Speaker 2: respect someone. I think part of that admiration is respect,

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Speaker 2: is respect of their boundaries. M and so you're not

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Speaker 2: saying don't ever come up to me.

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Speaker 1: Mm mm. You're just saying respec Yeah, that's not the place. Yeah, right, And.

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Speaker 2: If that's what you're coming for, you have to check

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Speaker 2: your intention. M You have to check if you're coming

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Speaker 2: into the house.

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Speaker 1: Of the Lord. Mm that woo oh yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: If you won't come into the house of the Little

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Speaker 2: cause you wants to be Crystal, you have made Crystal

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Speaker 2: your idol.

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Speaker 1: Mm uh. And don't do that, child, And what does that?

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Speaker 2: What does guy say about that?

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Speaker 1: Mm mm? Have no other idols it for me? Do

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Speaker 1: not do that? W y. I'm a jealous gud. He

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Speaker 1: don't play about that. Yeah, and I ain't the perch.

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Speaker 1: I'm'a look you, dick, which was closer to this one,

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Speaker 1: did d do not idolize me? Yeah? Mm mm. You

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Speaker 1: can look up to me, you can be inspired by me,

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Speaker 1: but do not idolize me. Right, I'm telling you right now,

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Speaker 1: don't do that, cause I'm human. I might let you down,

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Speaker 1: but he won't. And i'm'a say that, do not do that.

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Speaker 1: Mm mm. What conclusion the space? M my space? You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying that we if I cause I

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Speaker 1: I went to fire night and I'm up there with everybody.

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Speaker 1: I ain't know who I was next, I'm high five

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Speaker 1: and people looking me in the eye. Talk to your

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Speaker 1: neighbor like i'm'a do that. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I'm not where I'm like, I'm not gonna touch, don't touch.

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Speaker 1: I'm not that girl like I'm gonna engage with people.

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Speaker 1: But it's the right space and the right time. Also

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Speaker 1: the humanity that we love about you, right that, Like, this.

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Speaker 2: Is your moment where you're.

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Speaker 1: Not Crystal from I got two of my own shows.

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Speaker 1: Mm mm right, you're not Crystal has a significant platform

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Speaker 1: with kids.

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Speaker 2: You're not Crystal who you see on your favorite television shows.

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Speaker 1: Do get interview. I'm Crystal, just God's baby, Crystal God's Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the same way that you have come to be bad.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted that's it. Who talk about like, oh.

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Speaker 2: Celebrities, they act so stuck up normal, they don't do this,

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Speaker 2: they don't I'm showing up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, as mean literally as me. Yeah. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: walk out red, Yes, dying daily trying to get ready

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Speaker 1: for the next week. Like come on now, that was

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Speaker 1: good cause you're making Crystal your idol. Yes, that's scary.

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Speaker 2: That is scary. That's scary. That's scary.

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Speaker 1: Mm my goodness, could.

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Speaker 2: You acknowledge it?

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Speaker 1: Ugh? Hold you wake up with you attention of going

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Speaker 1: to the House of God to.

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Speaker 2: Meet someone on television?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Mm mm no, it's crazy.

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Speaker 2: The House of God.

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Speaker 1: Cause if you tell like, I wouldn't even be mad

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Speaker 1: at you if you were like.

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Speaker 2: Yo, I saw Crystal Pools.

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Speaker 1: If that you was that whatever restaurant took, Yeah good,

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Speaker 1: she likes to way. I'm'a go to helpful maybe ever

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Speaker 1: that I run into it, that's different. With the house

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Speaker 1: so good and then follow me from the House of

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Speaker 1: God to lunch that is brave and small Scott's Scot's scary, Yeah, scary.

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Speaker 1: So I'm grateful for my church buddies Marquise and Ryhanda, Keith,

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Speaker 1: Keith high on me and m just make sure I

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Speaker 1: feel safe. They saw me running out of church once

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Speaker 1: and they were like, girl, you jetted out of here,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, cause it's uncomfortable. It's really uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: Like I wanna to stay in this space and knowing

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Speaker 1: like somebody is running up from the back to try

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Speaker 1: to get to me, It's it's scary. Yeah, Wow. I

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Speaker 1: know you do not mm, but inside you are Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you might be able to do some damage like

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Speaker 1: a six five period the Real Network. Oh my god. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's get to the next question. I'll be twenty eight

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Speaker 1: on twelve one. Dating has been terrible. I'm at a

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Speaker 1: point where I wanna give up. Need advice. Ut, you're

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Speaker 1: twenty eight, Listen. I think I was twenty six when

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Speaker 1: I thought it was all over and I'd given up

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Speaker 1: on love. But you have so much more living to do,

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Speaker 1: so don't get caught up on the dating world. It's hard,

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Speaker 1: and the older you get, it's gonna get even harder.

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Speaker 1: So I would say focus on yourself right now. Love

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Speaker 1: is gonna come. The right guy is gonna come. I

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Speaker 1: think the more that you put attention on finding the

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Speaker 1: right guy and being in a relationship, the hard is

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Speaker 1: going to be to find it. So just focus on

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Speaker 1: the things that you love, your passions and things that

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Speaker 1: make you happy, and the right man'll come along. Okay.

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Speaker 1: When Crystal isn't feeling her best? What is your go

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Speaker 1: to gospel song? Huge fan? Right now? My favorite gospel

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Speaker 1: song is kareinne Hawthorne's Look at God. I literally play

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Speaker 1: this song at least once a day. My brother and

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Speaker 1: I did a car chronicles on this song because I

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Speaker 1: just love it so much. It reminds me of God's faithfulness.

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Speaker 1: It reminds me that He's never left me alone, and

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Speaker 1: every time I turn around, as the song says, there's

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Speaker 1: more blessings and look at God. So that would definitely

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Speaker 1: be my favorite song right now. What did you study

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Speaker 1: in college? I studied mass communications with an emphasis in

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Speaker 1: public relations and a minor in sociology. Let's see, how

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Speaker 1: do you feel about dating someone younger than you and

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Speaker 1: he's already matured child? I must say for the past

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Speaker 1: five years I've dated younger than me. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just something about a mature younger guy keeps me youthful,

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Speaker 1: So I definitely am not against it. But what I

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Speaker 1: have found is that eventually their age catches up to you,

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Speaker 1: so you'll start to realize they may be mature in

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Speaker 1: certain areas, but they're not mature in all areas. Is

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Speaker 1: there anything you would tell your younger self to be

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Speaker 1: more patient with? Good question? I think I would tell

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Speaker 1: my younger self, don't rush trying to get where you

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Speaker 1: feel like you want to go enjoy the moment, be present.

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Speaker 1: I think I missed out in so many moments because

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Speaker 1: I was in such a rush to get to my

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Speaker 1: dreams or to get married or find the right guy.

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Speaker 1: I had all these different ideas of where I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be that I wasn't being present. So that's one

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Speaker 1: thing I would definitely tell my younger self, and to

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Speaker 1: be patient with yourself. How does your days out differ

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Speaker 1: now that more people recognize who you are? Oh my goodness, y'all.

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Speaker 1: So it took me a minute to realize that I

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Speaker 1: was famous and that people recognize me. My manager, do Nora,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell her, Hey, I'm had to run into the

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Speaker 1: story Cooks. She's like, You're not going in there by yourself,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, why not, Like nobody's gonna bother me.

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Speaker 1: And then we get in the story and it's like

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Speaker 1: people are like peeking behind shells, like can we get

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Speaker 1: a picture with you? So it definitely is awkward at

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Speaker 1: times because I forget. I think I'm just crystal. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've lived my whole life moving the way I move,

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Speaker 1: and to have to start making adjustments is definitely different.

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Speaker 1: What is your favorite color and food? My favorite color

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Speaker 1: is black. Y'all make so much fun of me because

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Speaker 1: I wear black all the time. I love the color

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Speaker 1: black because it goes with everything. And my favorite food

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Speaker 1: would have to be Italian food. I love Italian food.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a big leftovers person, but I will eat

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Speaker 1: Italian food leftovers. It's always good the second day. How

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Speaker 1: many tattoos do you have? So I have this angel

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Speaker 1: tattoo right here. It is actually a cover up. It

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Speaker 1: was my first tattoo. I had gotten my mother's name

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Speaker 1: Helen in my handwriting tattooed on my wrist and I

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Speaker 1: jumped because it hurts. So this is a very tender

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Speaker 1: area to get a tattoo, so I end up getting

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Speaker 1: it covered up with angel wings in a halo. I

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Speaker 1: lost my mother's the age of two, so this is

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Speaker 1: something that I look at daily and remember her. So

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Speaker 1: that's one. I have music knows behind my ear. I

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Speaker 1: have love on my middle finger. This was initially inspired

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Speaker 1: by Rihanna when she had the love tattoo, and it

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Speaker 1: means peace and love or f love just depending on

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Speaker 1: the day, just being honest. And then I have carpe

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Speaker 1: dim and Arabic on my side. I have tattoos I

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Speaker 1: think are like six or seven tattoos in total. Let's see,

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Speaker 1: do you want children? If so, have you considered freezing

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Speaker 1: your eggs? So I have a friend that like literally

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Speaker 1: hits me every birthday and reminds me that I'm getting

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Speaker 1: old and that I need to freeze my eggs. I'm like, girl,

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Speaker 1: if you don't leave me alone, I'll do it when

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Speaker 1: I feel like doing it. I used to put so

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Speaker 1: much pressure on myself about having children because I felt

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Speaker 1: like I was getting older. Society like literally pushes it

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Speaker 1: down your throat that you're getting older, and the older

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Speaker 1: you get, you're not gonna be able to have children.

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Speaker 1: So for a long time I did put a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure on myself. I have not gotten my eggs

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Speaker 1: frozen yet. It is something I think about, but I

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Speaker 1: also want to keep hope that if it's in the

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Speaker 1: cars me, God will let it happen naturally. So at

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Speaker 1: this point in my life, I'm not focused on it.

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Speaker 1: It's not something I'm like, Ooh, I want to have

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Speaker 1: kids and that I'm in a hurry to do. But

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Speaker 1: the thought has crossed my mind to freeze my eggs.

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Speaker 1: How do did you deal with body dysmorphia. I'm struggling

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Speaker 1: to love and accept myself. For me, this is good.

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Speaker 1: I struggle with it. It was mainly because of this phone. Really,

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Speaker 1: it was mainly because of this phone that I had

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Speaker 1: body this more feel because I was getting on Instagram

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Speaker 1: every day and seeing all these girls with a perfect

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Speaker 1: body that wasn't real. But you couldn't tell me that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know at that point. I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: there was apps that you could like cometo your body

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Speaker 1: and make you look perfect till you start seeing people

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Speaker 1: in real life and be like, oh, you don't look

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Speaker 1: anything like you doing your pictures. And then that's when

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Speaker 1: I realized this wasn't a real thing. And a lot

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Speaker 1: of times body dys morphia comes from comparison, or for

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Speaker 1: me at least, that's what it was. I was comparing

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Speaker 1: myself to other women for what I thought men wanted,

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Speaker 1: and looking at myself thinking well, I don't look like

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Speaker 1: these girls, and you start to feel bad about yourself.

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Speaker 1: What I would do is look at yourself every morning

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Speaker 1: and say that I'm beautiful the way I am, and

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Speaker 1: I love myself the way God made me. Now there

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Speaker 1: are things that you could do, you know, to look

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Speaker 1: better by working out or eating a healthier diet. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's things that you could do to make your body

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Speaker 1: look the best that it can look. But never feel

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Speaker 1: like your body isn't good enough the way God created,

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Speaker 1: because if everybody looked the same, then it'd be a

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Speaker 1: very boring world. It's like you the perfect the way

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Speaker 1: you are. How do you chase dreams if you have

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Speaker 1: very very low self esteem? What steps or advice would

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Speaker 1: you give? This is a really good question. Honestly, you can't.

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Speaker 1: I feel like until you have the confidence to know

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Speaker 1: that you can do what you set your mind to,

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Speaker 1: you won't be able to set out and do it.

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Speaker 1: So you have to work on yourself first, do the

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Speaker 1: self work, and then figure out what it is that

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Speaker 1: you want to work towards. And once you build that

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Speaker 1: confidence up to know that, hey, this is what I

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Speaker 1: want to do and I can do it, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be fun. Is it normal to feel nervous about starting therapy.

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Speaker 1: I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, ma'am. Yes, I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: right now. I started therapy last year and it didn't

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Speaker 1: work out for me. I was like, this isn't for me.

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Speaker 1: And because I was scared to open up. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: being honest with the therapist because I really didn't feel

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Speaker 1: that trust with her. It wasn't until this year that

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Speaker 1: I found someone that I can completely let my guard

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Speaker 1: down with and just be honest with. And that's when

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Speaker 1: I started to get help. So I would say, the

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Speaker 1: first thing you need to do is find somebody that

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Speaker 1: you trust, talk to you try. I mean you can

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Speaker 1: date therapists, not date them, but like you can literally

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Speaker 1: like see, okay, who fits me? Like who do I

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Speaker 1: connect the most with? Find that person and then stick

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Speaker 1: with that person, because if you don't have that connection

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Speaker 1: with them, you're never gonna grow the way you need to,

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Speaker 1: at least to the maximum potential that you have to grow.

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Speaker 1: I want to know what helps you with your walk

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Speaker 1: with God and reading the Bible. Honestly, the thing that

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Speaker 1: helps me with my walk with God is knowing and

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Speaker 1: experiencing the mercy of God and his grace. I have

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Speaker 1: done things that I've been ashamed of, things that I've

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Speaker 1: been guilty of, and carry that guilt and shame, and

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Speaker 1: to see how God continues to show his love just

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Speaker 1: draws me closer to him and as far as reading

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Speaker 1: the Bible. I had talked about this on my one

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Speaker 1: of my stories that Country Wayne, when I did an

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Speaker 1: episode with him. He had talked about how he had

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Speaker 1: read the Bible seven times and he was on his

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Speaker 1: eighth trip through the Bible, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: my goodness, I hadn't made through it one time. So

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Speaker 1: I was going through a really dark season, and I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes in those seasons is when God really tugs

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Speaker 1: at you. And I had just had this conversation and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I want to read

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Speaker 1: the Bible. I don't want to just talk to God.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to just walk with him. I really

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Speaker 1: want to know and live his word. So that's what

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Speaker 1: inspired me. And the thing that keeps me going is

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Speaker 1: his grace and mercy. Hey, my lever says, tell me

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Speaker 1: what you use on your skin, it's always glowing. Well,

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00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 1: thank you, miss Robinson. Well, I used Keels facial wash.

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00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: I use this serum by land Coombe at night time,

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Speaker 1: end of the daytime. I'm telling you I'm gonna post

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00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 1: about it because it literally has like changed my skin.

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Speaker 1: It is so good. It has hieronic acid in it,

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Speaker 1: game changer. I use Tacha's Rice Polish, which is a

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Speaker 1: really light exfoliant that I love to use, which helps

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Speaker 1: give you the glow that you want. And I use

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Speaker 1: Sunday Raleigh Ceo Glow so those be like my top things.

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Speaker 1: And moisturize, moisturized morsturize. I use Kills Ultra Facial moisturizer.

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Speaker 1: I just wanna check in on you. How have you

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Speaker 1: been coping recently? I love you? Oh you know what.

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Speaker 1: Only a few people ask me how I am doing,

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Speaker 1: and I appreciate that. Thank you so much. Mercy Lee.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm doing good. I'm doing good and I

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Speaker 1: am taking things one day at a time, letting God

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Speaker 1: take the lead, just following him and letting him order

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Speaker 1: my steps, learning to let go of being in control

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Speaker 1: of everything. I'm in a season where I'm not in control,

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Speaker 1: so I have no no choice but to let God

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Speaker 1: take the lead in this season. So that's how I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing good, though, thank you for asking. How do

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Speaker 1: you deal with negative vibes from close friends? We don't

430
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: do bad vibes over here. That's it's non negotiable. But no,

431
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 1: I don't deal with it for me. If I'm feeling

432
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: some negativity coming on. I do like to ask people, Hey,

433
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: what's going on? I'm sensing this, how are you feeling?

434
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: Because I'm big on energy, so I can I clock

435
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: it immediately when something's not right with people that especially

436
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: people I care about. So if you're my friend, I'm

437
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 1: already gonna be in tune with you and how you

438
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: normally are, so I'm gonna ask you first. But if

439
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: it's something that continues to happen and you can't shake it,

440
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: then I may start to put some distance between us

441
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: until you can figure that out on your own. Because

442
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: life is too short, you know, and everybody's going through something,

443
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 1: but your mindset and could maintaining a positive attitude is

444
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: what's going to help push you through. So yeah, no

445
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: bad vibes over here. Hi, Chris, I'm moving for the

446
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: first time by myself out of state. What advice would

447
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: you give me? This is good because I did this

448
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,479
Speaker 1: when I graduated college. I left Martin, Tennessee. I went

449
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: to Washington, d C. Which is a huge move night

450
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 1: and day from where I'm from. Like literally we speak

451
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: and we wave at people when we pass them in

452
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: the car. Like we can literally be driving down the

453
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: road and you wave with people, we walk past some

454
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 1: when you speak, you get to DC and I'm like,

455
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: you would have thought I had horns grown out of

456
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: my head because I spoke to somebody. So it was

457
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: a big adjustment. So what I would say is, when

458
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: you move, learn to learn your environment. You know, that's

459
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: the first thing I would say. Keep your head on

460
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 1: a swivel. I'm not sure where you're moving from and

461
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,919
Speaker 1: where you're moving to, but know your surroundings. Find a

462
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: good community, find a good church home, and I would

463
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: say to make sure that wherever you go that you

464
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: have a good foundation and stay in touch with your family.

465
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 1: For me, it was always going back home and keeping

466
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: my roots intact and making sure that I didn't forget

467
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: where I came from. So that would be the advice

468
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: that I would give you, and best of luck. How

469
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: do you balance pouring into people without draining your cup dry? Who? Child?

470
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 1: This is good? You know what. I honestly feel like

471
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 1: there was a point in my life where I felt

472
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: like my cup was being dried because I was looking

473
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: for reciprocation from the people that I was pouring into.

474
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 1: But once I realized that it's not always about who

475
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 1: you're pouring into, You're gonna it's gonna come back. It

476
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: always comes out. When you put out good and give

477
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: for others, it's going to come back. But sometimes you

478
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: can think your cup is running dry and you're running

479
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: low because of the people that you're poured into. You're

480
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: not seeing that giving back to you. So I'm not

481
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: sure if that's your situation, but I would say that

482
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: continue to give out the goodness of your heart. If

483
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: you do feel like people are taking advantage of you,

484
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: then you have to be cognizant of that. But I

485
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: would continue to give and know that it's always going

486
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: to come back to you, and your code will always

487
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 1: be full and it'll always flow over. Do you have

488
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: a favorite book of the Bible? If so, which one

489
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: is it and why exactly that book? I was just

490
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: telling Tonor this. I love the Book of James. It

491
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: gives so many life lessons, especially when you're going through

492
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 1: trials and tribulations. It's such a good book to go to.

493
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 1: I went to this church. I was going to Passion City.

494
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: I was going to Passion City at the time, and

495
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: Pastor Louis Giglio had us do a whole study the

496
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: whole church had to literally study the Book of James

497
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: and we broke it down and it was such a

498
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: life changing month for us. But I would have to

499
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: say the Book of James, let's see, why is your

500
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 1: faith walk with Christ so important to you? Especially with

501
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: many not willing to acknowledge God publicly. Great question, Crystal Tash,

502
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: good question. You know what? For me, like you said,

503
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: people are not willing to acknowledge Him publicly. For me,

504
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: especially in my industry, a lot of people don't acknowledge him,

505
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: you know, behind closed doors. They have faith and they

506
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 1: have a religion and they believe in whatever they believe in,

507
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: but they don't talk about it publicly. For me, God

508
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: has been too good for me not to talk about it,

509
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: you know, Like I just I'm telling you, like where

510
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: I come from, and just to look around and see

511
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: everything that God is doing in my life and the

512
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: people that I'm close to in their lives. Who am

513
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: I not to give Him the praise? Who are not

514
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: to talk about him? This is like the best thing

515
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: that's ever happened to me. When you in a relationship

516
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 1: and you meet somebody, what's the first thing you gonna do?

517
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: You can be telling everybody, right exactly, you meet this

518
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: fine man like you wanna tell everybody you can see

519
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: the people you don't even know. Girl, I met this

520
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: guy and I really think he the one. Why wouldn't

521
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,479
Speaker 1: I do that about the God who's been cons the

522
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: most consistent person in my life? So that's why I

523
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: think it's important. I don't know why people shy away

524
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: from it, but I definitely am not the one to

525
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: do that. I'm gonna let you know. Book recommendations. One

526
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: of my favorite books is The Alchemist. I'd be remiss

527
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: if I didn't say Activate Your Greatness by my friend

528
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: Alex Tucsont. What's another book I love? Will by Will Smith?

529
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: That was a great book. I love reading books that

530
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: tell stories about people who I admire, just to learn

531
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: what they went through to get to where they are today.

532
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: The Four Agreement was a good book, and Five Love

533
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: Languages that was a good one because especially when your

534
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: relationships are trying to find love, it's important to know

535
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 1: how to love your partner, and sometimes that doesn't look

536
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: like the type of love that you want. So that

537
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: was a really good book as well. How do you

538
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: find the time for yourself when everybody is always needing

539
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: you for something good question. You know what. I think

540
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: it's important to carve out time for yourself because you

541
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: can get burned out really quick if all you're doing

542
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: is making sure everybody else is good. You have to

543
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: make sure you're good as well. For me, I go

544
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: to the gym, I work out. That's my time. I

545
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: put my headphones on and listen to my music and

546
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: I don't even want to be interrupted. Like it really

547
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: bothers me when people come up to me in the

548
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: gym and you see I got my headphones on, but

549
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: you want to have a conversation like this is my time.

550
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: It's a part of my therapy as well, outside of

551
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: my actually therapy sessions with my therapist. I love hot yoga.

552
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: That's another way for me to disconnect cause you can't

553
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: have phones in there, and for that hour, I know

554
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: that I can just focus on Crystal and my well being.

555
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: In the morning, I take time, I pray, I read

556
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: my Bible, I meditate a journal. These are all things

557
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: that I can that you as well can do to

558
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: make time for yourself. So you can't pour from an

559
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: empty cups, so you gotta definitely pour into yourself one day,

560
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: Can we get an album for you guys. Everybody keeps

561
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: asking me this. I love music. I love to sing.

562
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm singing all day like anybody who's around me, I'm

563
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: gonna be singing. But when I moved to Atlanta, I

564
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 1: was pursuing music and I feel like I'm finally living

565
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: out my true passion in acting. And I love music.

566
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: I would love to do musical. I would love to

567
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: do Broadway maybe one day, but I don't want to,

568
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: like actually do an album. I thought about it even

569
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: in the strike. I was like, maybe I should put

570
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: out a little EP or something, and I was like,

571
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, I just I've had people

572
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: call me and asked me, let's do some work. But

573
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: it has to really be the right moment. It has

574
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: to be with people that I'm inspired by, has to

575
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: be good energy. So I'm not gonna say never, but

576
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: it would have to be on my terms, and it

577
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: would definitely be like an independent route. I would want

578
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: to have full control of it and have fun with it,

579
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: because sometimes when you get under these big labels, you

580
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: lose the creativity and then it's not fun anymore. So

581
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: I'll never say never, but not today. We'll see if

582
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: you could redo any moment of your healing journey, what

583
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: would it be. That's a good question. I guess it

584
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: would be when I first started therapy, if I could

585
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: redo that part, and maybe not redo it because now

586
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: I'm with the right therapist, but I would have been

587
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: more honest because I was not honest with her, Like

588
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: there was so many things that I was not willing

589
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: to share because I just didn't feel comfortable sharing it.

590
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: But I do feel like if I had to change anything,

591
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: I would have tried to be more honest in that

592
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: moment to possibly get further in my healing process. What's

593
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: your go to strategy for fighting self doubt? It's been

594
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: a major block in my productivity. Uh, you know what.

595
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: I did a movie where I played the first Lady

596
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: and I sang. Can't talk about it, but you know

597
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And there was so many amazing

598
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: singers in this film, and I was recording with the

599
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: CEO of the recording Academy grabbed me winning producers, and

600
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm the best singer in the

601
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: you know, I know I can sing, but like you

602
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: put me up against some other people and I'm like,

603
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: I can't do what they can do. And I remember

604
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: walking into the studio really kind of doubting myself and

605
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: just like we were just having me. Let me hit

606
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: the notes, let me sound good, let me impress them.

607
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 1: I hope they like me. I hope I do a

608
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: good job. I hope I don't get cut and ended

609
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: up being one of the producers and the actual producers

610
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: of the movie. It ended up being one of their

611
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 1: favorite songs of the soundtrack. And I remember that moment.

612
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,919
Speaker 1: I really I knew I could sing, and I walked

613
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: in and did the job. And it had been so

614
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: long since I had been in the studio, so I

615
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: had all these feelings of self doubt going through my head.

616
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: But once I got in there and they were like excited,

617
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, Chris, so you got this. Stop

618
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 1: thinking that. Don't compare yourself to anybody. And that's what

619
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: I was doing. I was literally comparing myself to all

620
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,280
Speaker 1: these amazing singers that were also in the film, and

621
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: that was stealing the joy in that moment. So I

622
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: had to put that out and it was such an

623
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: a experience after I let go of that self doubt.

624
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 1: When dating, how do you know when his concerns about

625
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: me are valid or when he is insecured. Hmm, that's good. Honestly,

626
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: I feel like insecurities show up in how they present

627
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: it to you. You know, you can kind of tell,

628
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: like the way a man if he continues to bring

629
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: up something, whether it's really about how it made him feel,

630
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 1: or if it's something that he's really not comfortable or

631
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: insecure about with his own situation. I have had situations

632
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 1: where I've dated a guy and my success may have

633
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: been an insecurity where it wasn't in the beginning, but

634
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: eventually it ended up being one. But then you have

635
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: situations where your guy expresses and communicates you healthy way

636
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: and says, hey, babe, this is bothering me, or hey babe,

637
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: you think we can do this a little different. That's

638
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 1: not an insecurity, that's him letting you know, hey, this

639
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,399
Speaker 1: bothers me. Because we all have those situations where something

640
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: bothers us and we want to express it to our

641
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: significant other. But I feel like it's a way to

642
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: tell your partner what's bothering you. But you can tell

643
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: between when it's like a valid point or it's coming

644
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: up because it's an insecurity at least for me. I

645
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: can you said, this year on a healing journey, what

646
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 1: was the painful yet beautiful thing that you had to do? Ooh,

647
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: that's a good question, hey, Jade, I just realized to

648
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: roth this hijade on this journey, I feel like being

649
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: honest with myself, being transparent about my past with my

650
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: therapist has been the hardest yet most beautiful thing, because

651
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,879
Speaker 1: when you start unpacking what you've been through a lot

652
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: of times as a child, you don't even realize the

653
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: Dutchman and how like bad some of these things were

654
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: that you went through until someone starts to explain it

655
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: to you. So I feel like that's the hardest part,

656
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: but the most beautiful part is realizing that you are

657
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: healing past it and that you're able to forgive those

658
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: people you know without holding on to some of those memories.

659
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: That was a really good question, Jake. I lost a

660
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: parent when I was six months. It affects me. Did

661
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,879
Speaker 1: your mom passing affect you? It did. I was two

662
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: years old when my mom passed, and I at that

663
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: age you don't really remember, just like you you were

664
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 1: six months, You don't remember the moments, You just hear

665
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: the memories of what people have told you, But as

666
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: you grow up, there is something about having your biological

667
00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: mother or father in your life and you start to wonder, mm,

668
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: I wonder what this would be like if they were here.

669
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 1: I wonder what she would be like. I wonder what

670
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: my life would be like. I wonder what our relationship

671
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: would be like. You grow up with so many questions

672
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: that she'll never have the answer to because you never

673
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 1: get to experience them. And for me, I definitely deal

674
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: with that. It's crazy because people like, well, you were young,

675
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: you don't remember that. Like if I could t, I

676
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: could understand it. If you were older and lost your mom,

677
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: then that's different, but it's not. You know, it's not

678
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: any different to lose your mother or father at a

679
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: younger age or an older age. It's still a loss,

680
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: you know. And sometimes I feel like at least you

681
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: got to experience your mother or father for the kids

682
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: who actually got to experience them for the time that

683
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: they were here, versus never getting to experience them. So

684
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: I'm praying for you because I know that is difficult.

685
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: And some days you're good, and then other days you

686
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: start to have questions when feeling down, what are some

687
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 1: things you do to help yourself get out of that space.

688
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: I have a good friend Nina. Nina someone right, She

689
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: is a hoot y'all. Like, I can call this girl

690
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: anytime any day and she's gonna make me laugh. So

691
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: any time feeling down, that's one thing that I can do.

692
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 1: I also like to go sit at the bar at

693
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: one of my favorite restaurants. I'tna let y'all know, cause

694
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: y'all be trying to pop up where I'll be. Let

695
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: me sip some tea, you know, But I like to

696
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: go eat by myself sometimes, drink my favorite little lemon

697
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:47,439
Speaker 1: drop martini. Drake my little limon drop martini and enjoin

698
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 1: me a nice steak, and you know, just sit with

699
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: my other single friends at the bar. That's something I

700
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: like to do. And I call my nephew. I have

701
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: a he's about two years old. I call him, and

702
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: that little boy, he doesn't pay me any attention when

703
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: I FaceTime him. He's running around trying to show off.

704
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: Look if I can shoot the ball. But talking to him,

705
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: I pretty much talked to him every day and he

706
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 1: lists my spirits so much. Shout out Hendricks. How do

707
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: you patiently wait for the mate? God? Designed for you.

708
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: That's good. That's your name, Shae, Shae, that's a really

709
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 1: good question. I had said this before you. Sometimes we

710
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,320
Speaker 1: get so caught up in God, when are you gonna

711
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: bring my man? Like, I'm so tired of doing this

712
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 1: by myself. I want to be with somebody. I want

713
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: a companion. I'm not supposed to be in this alone.

714
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,399
Speaker 1: And I finally reached a point in my life where

715
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: I'm okay with whatever God has for me. I am,

716
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: I genuinely am, and I've learned to be okay with

717
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 1: being by myself. But if God does bring someone, I

718
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 1: know with everything that I've had to go through, Lord,

719
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: please let him be designed for me, because as long

720
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,439
Speaker 1: as I've had to wait, I need you to bring

721
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: him ready. Okay, that is what I am praying for

722
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: in this day, And Shay, I hope that happens for

723
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: you too, But I would say just stay patient and

724
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: know that if it's in the car show, it's gonna happen.

725
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, the longer you just focus on that,

726
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: it's only gonna drive you crazy. I know it did

727
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: for me because I would be in here sad, like

728
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: for real, sad thinking God where is my man, So

729
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: just don't fixate on that right now. Just enjoy your life.

730
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: You are a beautiful girl or a woman, and God's

731
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: gonna bring somebody just for you. I know he will

732
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 1: on a first date. And do you drive your own

733
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: car or do you let him pick you up? Honestly,

734
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: it depends on who it is. I know on a

735
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: one first date that I had, it was he was

736
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 1: out of town guy, so I had my driver get

737
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: him and then he got me cause I'm we're gonna

738
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,919
Speaker 1: go out to eating. I don't do drinking and driving.

739
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: I do not. I don't promote that at all, so

740
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: I always like to make sure I have safety first.

741
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: But most of the time I would say meet them

742
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 1: there in my own car. Cause if it's a bad day, girl,

743
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: you want to leave, So yeah, I would say drive

744
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: your own car. And then you just don't want anybody

745
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: knowing where you live either, So drive your own car,

746
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: meet him there, see how it goes, and then eventually,

747
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: if you feel safe enough, then you can have him

748
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 1: come pick you up like an honorable man should. But yeah,

749
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 1: meet him there, girl, because if it's bad, you want

750
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: to be able to dip. How do you navigate your

751
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: anxiety through this strike. That's a good question. I've had

752
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: my moments and I've shared it with Genora, my manager.

753
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: She'll call me and like, oh girl, I almost slipped today.

754
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: Like I have my moments, so like, oh God, when

755
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: is this gonna be over? You know? And every time

756
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: I have a moment of day out, God provides or

757
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 1: he sends a sign that hey, I got you. What

758
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: are you worried about? And one thing that the Denoor

759
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,800
Speaker 1: I mean Delena, Delana denor Delena, my therapist told me,

760
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,280
Speaker 1: is that you have everything you need and you lack nothing.

761
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: And when I took on that mantra, and then just

762
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: to know that as I'm studying the Word of God,

763
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: that everything God promised to me, no matter what, He's

764
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: going to keep his promise, So why am I worried?

765
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: So I started to actually practice the scriptures that I'm

766
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: studying every day and that has helped me through my anxiety.

767
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say that I have not had any

768
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: anxiety attacks since I started therapy because I expressed to

769
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 1: you guys my first one and I haven't had another

770
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: one since then. So I'm grateful for that. But thank

771
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: you for asking that what advice do you have for

772
00:43:53,080 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: someone who self sabotages Listen. I feel like self sabotaging

773
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 1: comes from a feeling of unworthiness and well, you don't

774
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: feel like you deserve something, you'll mess it up yourself,

775
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: you know, And we've got to get out of that mindset.

776
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: We have to know that we are worthy, that we

777
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: deserve whatever it is that we're going for. But sometimes

778
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: we miss out on a really good thing, whether it's

779
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: relationships with good friends, whether it's relationships with significant others

780
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: that you're maybe dating, or opportunities. You kind of sabotage

781
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 1: yourself out of it because you don't feel like you're

782
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: good enough. If we get outside of that, you'll realize

783
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 1: that you'll probably stop self sabotaging yourself. What's been your

784
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: favorite episode to record? Ooh, are so many. It would

785
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: have to be the Country Wayne episode. That was a

786
00:44:53,120 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 1: good episode. Wayne is very insightful, he's funny and and

787
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: I think we all saw a side of Way that

788
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 1: we had never seen before. At least you guys commented

789
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: that you had, so I would definitely say that's my

790
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: favorite one so far. A very make sure you go

791
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 1: back and watch it if you haven't I watch all

792
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: of them. They're all great. What has changed about you

793
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,240
Speaker 1: since you've gotten closer to God. That's a great question.

794
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing that has changed about me is, honestly,

795
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 1: a lot of things have changed, the type of music

796
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: I listened to. I'm really conscious of what I allowed

797
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 1: into my body. We don't even realize that the things

798
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: that we see, the things that we hear, how much

799
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 1: they influence us in our decisions. And sometimes we don't

800
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: even know that it's influencing us so much. So I

801
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: would say that it's also allowed me to be more

802
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 1: allowed me to give more grace to people. You know,

803
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: and my friend Nina, who I just talked about earlier,

804
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:12,760
Speaker 1: she said to me, She's like, girl, you so patient

805
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: with people. And I think I have gained an ability

806
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 1: to see people for where they are, and sometimes you

807
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: can tell like you're not a bad person, you're just

808
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: in a bad space right now, or I actually know

809
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 1: where you are because I've been there, and that allows

810
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: me to give people grace to find their own way.

811
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: So I think that's the one thing that's happened to

812
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: me since I've grown close to to God. Let's see,

813
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 1: how do you forgive people when you haven't received an apology. Well,

814
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a sip on it, because my pastor

815
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: just preached on this and he said, go on and

816
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: forgive them, you know why, cause sometimes you're not gonna

817
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 1: get that apology and that's okay. And a lot of

818
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 1: times forgiveness is not about the other person. It's about

819
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: your own self healing. And when he said that, I said, ah, yes,

820
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: Shad told by Yata baby mom. I said, that's it.

821
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: It's about your own self healing and when you can

822
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: get over whatever the person did without receiving an apology.

823
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: Cause some people are just not gonna own up to

824
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: what they've done, and that is okay, nothing do. But

825
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: don't allow that to ruin your heart for other people.

826
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 1: Don't allow that to even harden your heart towards them,

827
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: you know, pray for them, wish them well, forgive. You

828
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: don't have to forget, cause you're not gonna forget. You're

829
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 1: never forgnna. You're never gonna forget what someone did to you.

830
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 1: But you can always forgive them for your own heart.

831
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: And that's what I would say, because a lot of

832
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: times we don't know we're doing ourselves more damage than

833
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: they are cause they're not thinking about you. They hurt.

834
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 1: I've hurt the next person that they're not gonna apologize to.

835
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: So I would say, make sure you just forgive so

836
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: that you can move on with a pure heart. Y'all. Funny, y'all,

837
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 1: so nosy, But I did tell y'all to ask me anything.

838
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 1: So this one says, who am I dating at the

839
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 1: present moment? I am single. And what I want to

840
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: say is that we film these episodes, farty, miss, I

841
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm gonna be doing by the time

842
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: you watch this. I might be a relationship. You don't say,

843
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,479
Speaker 1: we don't know, So like people like, well, she was single,

844
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 1: now she's not, Now she in a relationship. It's kind

845
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: of confusing, y'all, but don't worry about it. It ain't

846
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 1: your business. It ain't your business. But yeah, I just

847
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: know that I'm happy, you know, and I love that

848
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: y'all care so much about who I'm in a relationship with.

849
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: And it's not something that I will ever hide. But

850
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: it also isn't something that I may overly share, you know,

851
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: because I share so much of my life with you guys.

852
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: There's some things that I do want to keep to

853
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: myself until the time is right, and I'm really big

854
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 1: on until you're my husband. I'm I'm not gonna share

855
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 1: that platform with just anybody. So when y'all see me

856
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: walk down at aisle, then y'all know, okay. But in

857
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,760
Speaker 1: the meantime, in between times, it ain't none of your business,

858
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: all right, because they do be like cause I'll say

859
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: this and then like I may like be a relationship

860
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:46,919
Speaker 1: and they're like, wait what you just said? Production, Yes,

861
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: get it together. Thank you guys so much for tuning

862
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,479
Speaker 1: into this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweety, I really

863
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 1: enjoyed this. One of you guys did too. This is

864
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: actually Denoor's idea to have you guys ask questions and

865
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 1: me answer them, and y'all someone in questions y'all was

866
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: asking mm hm, y'all, fuddy boy, y'all real fun. I

867
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 1: ain't gonna tell y'all everything, but we went through them

868
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: and there was some really really good questions. So I'm

869
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 1: happy we got to do this, and I think I

870
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 1: want to do this again. So if you guys want

871
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: to write into our Positive Outcomes listening letter, you can

872
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: write in to Keep It Positive. Sweetie at gmail dot

873
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: com and that's sweetie with an Ie. You can follow

874
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: kIPS on all platforms at Keep it Positive, Sweetie, and

875
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: you can follow me on all platforms at luv Christo

876
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 1: Hiname and I love it when DeNora Pop saying if

877
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 1: you want to follow her, follow her on all platforms

878
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: that I am donor. I'm telling you guys, her stories

879
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: are amazing. They always hit home. Make sure you check

880
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,600
Speaker 1: her out in the meantime in between times, you guys

881
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 1: know what to do. Keep it positive, sweet tea, and

882
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep drinking my positive the t M I

883
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: d Ort said, y'all get into it? Do you or

884
00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: respond to me?

885
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: Reach out to brother.

886
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: Christal Ebondega s heaping knock gone but not for real

887
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: reminds me cause yeah, I'll take him if you adore me?

888
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: Do you or me? Come on the York, Come on now,