1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini e a sel Mini episode. Motherfucking Mini e 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: a sel. 3 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:20,639 Speaker 2: Hew, dude, you get here. No, no, nobody's supposed to 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 2: be here here. Welcome little Mama's and gentiles alike to 5 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 2: another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast 6 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 2: where we live deep into the backets of black conspiracy 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 2: theories and we finally worked to prove the conspiracies of 8 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:43,239 Speaker 2: you the listener. I'm David Bori, and I also was 9 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:48,160 Speaker 2: doing quite frankly pretty good legs in Kerman impression. Uh, 10 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 2: he's not here today, he's off working in service of 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 2: Big Hollywood. It's just me holding it down. It's a 12 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 2: motherfucking mini episode, and we're just gonna get Uh, We're 13 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: gonna get right into it because I'm very nervous doing 14 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 2: this without my co pilot, my captain, not my captain. Man, 15 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 2: fuck that nigga. But like you know, it's hard doing 16 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 2: it without Langston. But we're just gonna get into it. 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 2: I have an email that Langston shit on. We tried 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 2: to read this email to you guys before. Langston didn't 19 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 2: want to do it. So now I'm here picking up 20 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 2: the slack. You guys ready for this it's hard talking 21 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 2: to yourself. I don't know how those white comedians do it. 22 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 2: Some dudes just be doing whole podcasts just talking. Anyways, 23 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 2: Dear David and Langston, one of your proud little mama's 24 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 2: from the right white double race. I'm sorry, so am. 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 2: I I'll get straight to it. My mama told me 26 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 2: if you jizz in the shower. My mama told me, 27 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 2: if you jizz in the shower, it'll clog the pipes 28 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 2: and the plumber will call you out. I think it 29 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 2: was girls not wanting to clean their hair out of 30 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: the drain, and also not rightly wanting to stand in 31 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 2: the jizz. The scenario is laid out to the horny 32 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 2: teenage boys. I knew was that the shower drain would 33 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 2: back up and a plumber would fish out a bunch 34 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 2: of hair and debris glued together by what have you. 35 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: Smirk at the MoMA and tell her to encourage your 36 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 2: son to take shorter showers. I have never counted anyone 37 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 2: who had missed this happening in their home. And I 38 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 2: have trouble imagining a tradesman joking about seeming with a customer, 39 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 2: but a lot of us heard it. Love the show. No, No, 40 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 2: it's your friend's Ohio trunk beer. Guy, I do remember that. 41 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:36,839 Speaker 2: So how do I feel about this? Listen, man, I 42 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 2: am not here to kink shame anyone within our community. 43 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 2: You all know that I'm very sex positive. That being said, 44 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 2: I personally am not a shower jerker. I just don't. 45 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 2: That's just not where I like to do it. It's 46 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 2: not anything against anyone, so I gotta say it. Also, 47 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 2: I don't, man, I don't want to get to has 48 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 2: to be like how thick, easier she is? Bro like 49 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: I this seems This seems silly to me. If something's 50 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 2: quogging the hair, it's like we've all shared bathroom with women. 51 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 2: It's a lot of hair. It's a lot of hair 52 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 2: that you got to put a lot of different places, 53 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: sometimes in a little curly cues on the wall of 54 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 2: the shower. No one likes that. It's disgusting. So I 55 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 2: would say, I don't believe this. Olivia just sent me 56 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 2: a chat that says. In twenty sixteen, Slate bravely asked 57 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 2: an actual Harvard Medical School urology professor, I'm not gonna 58 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 2: say his name about this, As this man explained, semen 59 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: only maintains its thickness for a short time. I think 60 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 2: we all can attest to that, as anyone who has 61 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 2: combined semen and water can tell you the two form 62 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 2: a horrifying rubberized texture and why it's fair to assume 63 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: this would have pipe cloud being capabilities. Fortunately, this new 64 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 2: texture is only temporary. Even's thickness serves the biological purpose 65 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 2: of helping it stay within the vagina to aid procreation. 66 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 2: While semen can hypothetically survive longer inside of vagina, semen 67 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 2: becomes liquidy and watery after about twenty to thirty minutes. 68 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: Even combined with water inside the pipe of a shower, 69 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 2: this phenomenon will still occur as such the time the 70 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 2: semen will slip away. So there you have it. This 71 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 2: one has been debunked. And that's not me, that's Harvard, 72 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 2: that's the IVY League. When the IVY League is telling 73 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 2: you not is watery, you gotta believe that not is watery. 74 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm with that. I never really believed it, 75 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: but we read this and like, yeah, I gotta say 76 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 2: the same thing. I don't think that nut can clog it. However, 77 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: all them hairs, ladies, you gotta do something with those 78 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 2: put them in the trash. 79 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 3: We're calling upon you because we have new merch. We 80 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 3: have very exciting merch that we are now set and 81 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 3: it's it's fucking great. We love it so much. 82 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 2: Just sleek, it's sexy. 83 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have? 84 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is 85 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 2: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien 86 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 2: dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then 87 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 2: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has 88 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 2: a cooofie on it since my mama told me. And 89 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 2: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama, 90 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 2: which is who you are. 91 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now go to my 92 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,840 Speaker 3: mama told me dot Merchcentral dot com and we want 93 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 3: you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it. 94 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 2: Since this went short, we tried to have Olivia on. 95 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 2: She blew it. It was a whole issue since this 96 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 2: was shirt. I do want to bring up something that 97 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 2: I've been thinking about. I was hanging out with my 98 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 2: girl and she, oh, this made me so mad. So 99 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 2: we were talking about the Jungle Book, as you do 100 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: when you're in love, and she told me that she 101 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 2: likes begin which I was like Yung right, Bagheera, you 102 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 2: also like no seasoning on your food? Who would like Bagheera? 103 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: That's insane? And then I went on to tell her 104 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 2: how much I have an affinity for Blue. I love Blue, 105 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: major character in my life. To be completely honest, I 106 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: remember being a little boy and watching The Jungle Book 107 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 2: and being like, I don't know what it is about 108 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 2: that bear, but I could relate, like I just the 109 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 2: bare necessities. He's naked, he's walking around scratching trees, he's 110 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: eating exotic fruit. So I was like, and it's like 111 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 2: the bear necessities. It's an anti capitalist rhetoric, right, it's 112 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 2: synthesized down to it's like, he's like, you don't need 113 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: the money, you don't need the flashy cars, you don't 114 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 2: need the jewels. You just need the things that are 115 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 2: gonna make you happy in this world, the bare necessities. 116 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 2: And I told her that, and I was like, and 117 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 2: also because of the hit show Tailspin, Blue is clearly black, right, 118 00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:00,799 Speaker 2: obviously an African American man, and this, even this Bagheera 119 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 2: loving even goes on to say that, oh, I could 120 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 2: see that my problem with Blue is that he's all 121 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 2: the black male stereotypes and she goes in to say 122 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 2: how Blue is lazy and has no ambition, and the shit, 123 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest with you, little Mama's really hurt 124 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 2: my feelings, really hurt my feelings because I was willing 125 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 2: to be vulnerable and tell this woman how much Blue 126 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: has shaped my life. And yeah, a lot of it 127 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 2: is because of Tailspin, but a lot of it is 128 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 2: also the Jungle Book Blue. Both blues really shaped who 129 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: I am and where I'm going as a person, Like 130 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be here on this podcast if it wasn't 131 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: for Blue. That's like, straight up, that's straight up. If 132 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 2: I was like a Sheer Con fan, I'd probably be 133 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 2: on Joe Rogan right now. Actually, i'd probably be the 134 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: richest guy in the world. But I'm not. I'm a 135 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 2: Blue guy. And in the effort to find more content, 136 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 2: please email us and tell us what you think about 137 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 2: this Blue debate. I would love to have it with 138 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 2: Langston on because you know, Langston's punk ass. I bet 139 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 2: you know what. I bet Langston loves Bagheera too. I 140 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: bet he's a Bagheera ass dude. I bet so all 141 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 2: the blues out there holding it down, all the Blues 142 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 2: all the King, all the King, Louise, who else was 143 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 2: good in that movie? Anybody who's anti Mogli because Mowgli? 144 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 2: We were because fuck Mowgli. He is also a trader. 145 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: Blue was like, you're not even my kid. I'm gonna 146 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: take you under the I'm gonna take you under my wing. 147 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 2: It's dangerous than jungle. It's dangerous. You think Mogli would 148 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,319 Speaker 2: have been all right if he didn't have the Bear, 149 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 2: the king of the jungle looking out for him. No, 150 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 2: and if the end Mowgli saw some pussy and ran away. 151 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 2: Fuck Mowgli. Where all my blue heads out at? Please 152 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 2: send us in emails? How do you feel about this 153 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 2: blue debate, especially versus Bagheera or whoever. Langston actually probably 154 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 2: does like shar Kan because he's secretly evil, So Langston 155 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 2: is probably a Shacan guy. But guys, send us in 156 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 2: and tell us what other Disney characters you may think 157 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 2: are black, or if you have reasoning for believing they're 158 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 2: not black. I think it's already kind of canonical that 159 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 2: everybody knows Goofy and company are black, but I would 160 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 2: love to hear what you guys think about it. Thanks 161 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 2: for tuning in. If you want some gear, go to 162 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 2: merchcentral dot com backslash my Mama told Me, Get a hat, 163 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 2: get a pin. If you want to come see us live, 164 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 2: go to our Instagram page at my Mama Told Me Live. 165 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 2: We are doing a live show for the Netflix is 166 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,439 Speaker 2: a joke festival. It's a big festival TV in the building, 167 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 2: and we're doing it on my birthday. Come on, don't 168 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 2: you guys want to celebrate my birthday. It's gonna be 169 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 2: on my birthday, Sunday, May fifth, at the Comedy Store, 170 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 2: Los Angeles, California. I'm gonna be turning twenty two years old. 171 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 2: Because you know, I'm just like, I'm a wonder kid. 172 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 2: I'm a phenom in this game, So come on out celebrate. 173 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 2: We're gonna try to have some really special guests to 174 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 2: have a good time, and other than that, be good 175 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 2: to yourselves. Should I tell my Blue Heads Bagheera's a bitch, 176 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 2: Bye bitch. 177 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini ever Sell Mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever SEW 178 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini Everis Mini Episode, Motherfucking Mini Epis