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Speaker 1: Welcome to desperately devoted.

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Speaker 2: Think of us as your favorite neighbors as we chat

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Speaker 2: about life and relationships, all.

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Speaker 3: While we revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together.

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Speaker 2: I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen, and I'm Emerson Tunny. Hello,

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Speaker 2: Andrea Emerson, to see you, guys. Okay, I had a crazy,

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Speaker 2: crazy week. Well, first of all, we're here to talk

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Speaker 2: about episode twenty one, Sunday in the Park with George,

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Speaker 2: and let me just tell you my weekend was no

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Speaker 2: walk in the park.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Oh, we'll tell us.

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Speaker 2: So, I had a giant water leak happened in my

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Speaker 2: house and I had nothing to do with the rain.

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Speaker 2: It was just a pipe decided to burst in the wall.

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Speaker 2: And before I figured out what it was like, this

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Speaker 2: constant sound was just going like for about twenty hours.

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Speaker 2: I thought, I thought maybe it was like the air

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Speaker 2: conditioning like. I thought, maybe a damper had gotten blocked.

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Speaker 4: Wishful thinking.

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Speaker 2: It was wishful thinking because the next morning when I

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Speaker 2: came down and it was still going, Oh god. I

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Speaker 2: could then see water dripping out from the now puckering

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Speaker 2: base boards and the hardwood floor starting to lift and

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Speaker 2: I was like, it's a water leak in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the thing. So we're in the storm. My main

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Speaker 2: water valve is like under my house, through a steep

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Speaker 2: hill of mud. Like, it's no joke. You should have

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Speaker 2: seen me. I should have taken pictures of me crawling

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Speaker 2: under there with the spiders and everything else, trying to

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Speaker 2: get to these handles. I ultimately couldn't do it, so

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Speaker 2: I came back. I think I've talked to you on

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Speaker 2: this podcast before about the neighborhood thing that I've developed

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Speaker 2: over the last five years.

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Speaker 4: And also the skill of asking for help.

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Speaker 2: And the skill of asking for help. Thank you so

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Speaker 2: much for reminding me that I have that now. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: so I did call one of my neighbors, and right

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Speaker 2: away they were like, I'm getting my toolbox. I'll be

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Speaker 2: right over. He comes over, he goes down under the

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Speaker 2: house like he gets the water turn out.

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Speaker 1: Just clarify, this is not Mike Delfino.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, it was not Mike Delfino.

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Speaker 4: No where were you.

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Speaker 2: Jamie doesn't live on my street. He now does live

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Speaker 2: in Los Angeles, so I am closer to being able

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Speaker 2: to call him in an emergency. But anyway, so we

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Speaker 2: get it turned off, and you know, it's sort of

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Speaker 2: just it is what it is. Now I have to

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Speaker 2: get a contractor and you know, fix it and whatever.

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Speaker 2: But he says to me as he's leaving, he's like, so,

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Speaker 2: you know, you don't have water, like, if you need

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Speaker 2: to come over, if you need to shower, you need

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Speaker 2: to like, you know, poop, you can come. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, that's right. I can't flush my toilets. I

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Speaker 2: don't have any water, like, but there's no way I

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Speaker 2: could go poop on somebody else's house. And I just

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Speaker 2: it made me think, like, do you guys have a

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Speaker 2: I realized I cannot poop in mine. I could never

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Speaker 2: And this is you know, it was her husband, but

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Speaker 2: my girlfriend and they live obviously together, and I just

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Speaker 2: never dawned on me. I couldn't go purposefully poop in

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Speaker 2: somebody's house.

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Speaker 4: Okay, well, I.

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Speaker 3: Didn't think that we were going to suddenly be on

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Speaker 3: like a toilet topic conversation at the time.

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Speaker 1: Look how excited you are.

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Speaker 2: That's what we do, desperately devoted, We talk about everything.

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Speaker 3: I think it's funny because we did have that storyline

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Speaker 3: a little while back with Gabby not having any plumbing

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Speaker 3: and how and she was like trying to use the

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Speaker 3: bathroom at other people's houses. Right, I've got to say,

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Speaker 3: as an Ashkenazi girl, I don't have the luxury of not.

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Speaker 4: Being able to poop certain places because.

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Speaker 3: When you have, your stomach's like, it's wherever I am,

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Speaker 3: what's happening.

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Speaker 1: But you know what we really I want to be.

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Speaker 1: I want to be like, oh, you know the way

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Speaker 1: that we all should be, Like, it's just a bodily function,

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Speaker 1: it's no big deal. But that's not me. I do

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Speaker 1: think it's a big deal. I do have anxiety over it.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'd like to get over it, but I did.

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Speaker 1: I do have in my daughter's nursery the book everyone

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Speaker 1: poops front and center. So I'm going to work on

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Speaker 1: raising her to be a little bit more on that.

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Speaker 2: Poop shame.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, pep shame now.

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Speaker 2: Oh I know. Well, so that was my week. How

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Speaker 2: was your guys this week? Wow?

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Speaker 1: Well, in comparison, my week was wonderful.

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Speaker 2: You had a working toilet. Yeah, that's really all anybody needs,

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Speaker 2: It's true. I mean, it really does come down to

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Speaker 2: the basics, Like you take the working toilet away and

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I have nothing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my week was My week was really good as well.

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Speaker 4: I mean it was I loved the rain.

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Speaker 2: That was fantastic.

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Speaker 3: I have to say I really love the title of

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Speaker 3: this episode, Sunday in the Park with George, because the

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Speaker 3: Stephen so Time musical Sunday in the Park with George

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Speaker 3: is one of Into the Woods is probably still my favorite,

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Speaker 3: but I would say this is probably my second favorite.

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Speaker 2: Is there a song from this musical that you.

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Speaker 4: Know, my favorite? Well, I don't know if it's a song.

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Speaker 3: Everybody loves My favorite song from this musical so much

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Speaker 3: so that I actually have it on playlists that have

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Speaker 3: nothing to do with musicals.

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Speaker 4: Is move On?

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, just chill, su just chills. Another episode of

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Speaker 1: Desperate Housewives was named move.

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Speaker 3: On from the same music and I think I probably

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Speaker 3: said this then, but it is just it's I actually

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Speaker 3: recently saw the Pasadena Playhouse a couple of years ago

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Speaker 3: did the production of this Sunday and it was beautiful

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Speaker 3: and I just is a whole story about how we

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Speaker 3: see and move through time and what legacies we carry

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Speaker 3: and when we let things go and when we don't,

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Speaker 3: and yeah, really amazing story.

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Speaker 2: And well, I mean that devocative for Yeah, this because

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Speaker 2: I mean the themes you were just saying from the

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Speaker 2: song is like, Okay, this episode very well written, and

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Speaker 2: we have Bob Newhart again as Morty asking Sophie, Susan's

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Speaker 2: mom to marry her, and Susan hires a PI to

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Speaker 2: find out more about Paul.

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Speaker 1: Well not just any Pi, the same Pi.

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Speaker 2: Okay, can we just talk about the Yellow Pages for

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Speaker 2: a second, Like, I don't know if people that listen

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Speaker 2: to this podcast even know what the Yellow Pages are.

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Speaker 1: I was just talking about this with my brother and

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Speaker 1: we were saying, kids today, kids today must think the

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Speaker 1: Yellow Pages and the White Pages are like an insane concept.

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Speaker 1: Like you just have this thick book dropped off on

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Speaker 1: your doorstep with everyone's name's numbers in it.

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Speaker 2: An Emerson, do you know about the Yellow Pages?

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Speaker 3: Yah? I know what the Yellow Pages are, but but

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Speaker 3: I have to say it is they'd just have gone

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Speaker 3: absolutely obsolete with the Internet. Yeah, right, although I would

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Speaker 3: still honestly, there's something to me reassuring about having a

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Speaker 3: book with everyone's names.

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Speaker 2: And I loved it.

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Speaker 1: And you used to be in every payphone in New York.

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Speaker 1: You'd have a thick you know, Yellow Pages, but you could.

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Speaker 2: Call so honest. Like when you were flipping through the

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Speaker 2: pages and you are looking for an ad, you know

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Speaker 2: that the bigger ad, the one that Susan finds, is

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Speaker 2: because they paid more money for the half page of

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Speaker 2: the Yellow Pages, like I don't know whereas now, when

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Speaker 2: you google stuff and the first thing that comes up,

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Speaker 2: you know, like floral shop to I was, I sent

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Speaker 2: you flowers for your birthday. So I looked up on

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Speaker 2: the internet floral shops in Los Angeles, and up comes

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Speaker 2: like you know this company, this company, But then you

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Speaker 2: see in little tiny letters sponsored, so you don't so

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Speaker 2: it's not actually the best florist comes up, it's the

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Speaker 2: one that's like paid money to be first.

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Speaker 3: Well, speaking of truthfulness or deceitfulness, yes, the PI that

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Speaker 3: Susan does hire, of course, is sharing all of the

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Speaker 3: information that she tells him with Paul Yung and basically

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Speaker 3: saying I'll do whatever you want me to do.

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Speaker 1: Right now, he's delivering misinformation to Susan, I know.

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Speaker 3: And I was kind of like, this feels like very

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Speaker 3: questionable ethics. Yes, other questionable ethics. We have Gabby and

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Speaker 3: Carlos still fighting over what happened with the birth control

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Speaker 3: who tampered with it to get Gabby pregnant. Carlos is

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Speaker 3: blaming his dead mother, which is just I mean, really,

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Speaker 3: selling your dead mom downriver is like a big I have.

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Speaker 2: The car that is going to be you know what's

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Speaker 2: gonna be worth. It's gonna be worth about eight months

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Speaker 2: in jail.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I forever haunting. Maybe buy one ita, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And then of course we've Brie and George are George

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Speaker 3: in question for Sunday in the Park, with George having

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Speaker 3: their kind of secret friendship evolve more ultimately to a

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Speaker 3: place where Edie Cesbury out on a date with George

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Speaker 3: and poses a question that I want to ask you both,

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Speaker 3: which is basically she says, you're having an affair. And

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Speaker 3: it was really early, I think in two thousand and

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Speaker 3: five for the terminology of an emotional affair, which I

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Speaker 3: think is something I hear my friends throw out a lot.

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Speaker 4: More so lots to circle back to there.

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Speaker 2: And also like, is ten days too long to not

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Speaker 2: have sex in your marriage? Because that's what Tom.

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Speaker 1: And I say, No, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Ten days is not too long.

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Speaker 1: Ten days, yeah, I mean, especially because listen, they have

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Speaker 1: three kids plus a baby. The idea that, oh, we've

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Speaker 1: hit this first mark in our marriage ever of going

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Speaker 1: ten days without having sex, and now I'm worried that

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Speaker 1: our relationship is in jeopardy. That doesn't ring true. I

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Speaker 1: don't know who that rings true to. Any woman in

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Speaker 1: my life probably would roll their eyes at that. That

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Speaker 1: is not a scary, threatening number ten days.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you're trying to buy into the truth

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Speaker 2: of it, I guess you can buy into Lynette's overall

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Speaker 2: insecurity is amped up by the fact that Tom is

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Speaker 2: working with his ex girlfriend, right, and so she knows

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Speaker 2: that that shark is sort of circling the waters, and

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Speaker 2: so every little thing is going to seem like much bigger.

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Speaker 1: Here's a question that just sprung to mind. The term

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Speaker 1: work wife or work husband is a thing now, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it was a thing in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and five when the show was airing, but that

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Speaker 1: kind of maybe would have come into the fold with

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Speaker 1: Tom and Annabel's relationship. Do you think that referring to

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Speaker 1: someone you work with as your work wife or work

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Speaker 1: husband is appropriate?

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Speaker 4: Oh? I mean, it's so funny.

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Speaker 3: As someone who doesn't go to an office and doesn't

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Speaker 3: even spend I mean, most of my.

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Speaker 4: Time is not even on a set.

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Speaker 3: It's like at my house or you know, behind my laptop.

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Speaker 3: It's such a solitary profession. I certainly don't have a

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Speaker 3: work wife or work husband, although I do have friends

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Speaker 3: who work on sets for long extended periods of time

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Speaker 3: on TV shows, or who work in offices completely out

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Speaker 3: of the industry. And I have always thought there was

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Speaker 3: something kind of sweet about.

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Speaker 2: Think James would have been could have been called my

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Speaker 2: work husband.

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Speaker 1: And I literally ended up marrying someone that I worked with,

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Speaker 1: so he is my work husband and my husband husband.

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Speaker 4: But I guess that's other people's fear that it can

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Speaker 4: turn into that.

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Speaker 3: But I think when you think about when I think

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Speaker 3: about a marriage and a partner in a marriage, a

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Speaker 3: wife or a husband or a partner, what they represent.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that is, in an ideal.

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Speaker 3: World for me, representative of someone who is your rock

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Speaker 3: and your support system and the person that you turn

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Speaker 3: to when you want a feedback on a question, or

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Speaker 3: someone who kind of know has your back. And I

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Speaker 3: think having if that if those are the adjectives we

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Speaker 3: imbue a partner terminology with having a version of that

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Speaker 3: in your work environment, which isn't your home life or

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Speaker 3: your social life environment.

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Speaker 4: I think that's beautiful and I hope everyone finds a

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Speaker 4: version of that.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just about the competitiveness and the insecurity,

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Speaker 2: you know, like if you're the actual wife, yeah, that's funny.

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Speaker 2: Then if there's a work wife, then then there has

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Speaker 2: to be a home woife. And somehow that starts to

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Speaker 2: diminish the title of wife, like yeah all together. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: But I'm also a big believer that no one person,

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Speaker 2: even your husband or wife, can completely you know, provide

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Speaker 2: the things you said, the rock, the support, the go to.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm not sure I believe in that idea that

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Speaker 2: there is just this one person.

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Speaker 3: But this brings me exactly into the conversation that Brie

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Speaker 3: and Edie have after Edie sees Brie out with George

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Speaker 3: and she's feeding him like a clam on the floor

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Speaker 3: and they're really enjoying each other's company, and he even

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Speaker 3: says we should travel somewhere together, which kind of chowes

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Speaker 3: the line for Brie of like maybe that's too intimate.

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Speaker 3: But then Edie calls breout on this and says that

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Speaker 3: she is like having an affair with George, and Brie says, no,

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Speaker 3: they're not sleeping together, and Edie said, well, it's still

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Speaker 3: an affair. And I loved how re categorizes her relationship

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Speaker 3: with George. She goes, we're not sleeping together. It's not

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Speaker 3: an affair, you know, we just have conversations about my

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Speaker 3: innermost thoughts and hopes and dreams, right, And Edie says,

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Speaker 3: that's an affair, which made me think of having an

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Speaker 3: emotional affair. And I've definitely had friends of mine who

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Speaker 3: have had partners, who have had very close friendships with

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Speaker 3: other people, and they have accused their partners of having

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Speaker 3: quote unquote emotional affairs. And I want your take on

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Speaker 3: this because I feel very morally complex about this because

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Speaker 3: to your point, mom, I am a very big believer

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Speaker 3: in the fact that I do not think one person

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Speaker 3: can give you everything in your life. And I'm not

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Speaker 3: talking about monogamy or non monogamy. I mean relate to

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Speaker 3: you in every emotional capacity, or you know, understand your

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Speaker 3: sense of humor in every way. Like I think, we're

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Speaker 3: very multifaceted people, which is why we have more than

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Speaker 3: one friendship or more than one relationship. And so I

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Speaker 3: think the ability to cultivate deep emotional intimacy with the

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Speaker 3: people around you who really know you, who bring different

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Speaker 3: things into your life is beautiful.

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Speaker 4: And I feel like the.

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Speaker 3: Kind of competitive ego driven idea that if you had

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Speaker 3: someone your partner have a platonic but very emotionally close

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Speaker 3: relationship with someone else, that you would call that an

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Speaker 3: affair and then be threatened by it. I feel like

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Speaker 3: you're severing and blunting off the connection that they have

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Speaker 3: with someone who's clearly a meaningful and important person in

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Speaker 3: their life, filling a bucket and kind of saying no,

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Speaker 3: just because I'm your romantic partner, it's my job to

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Speaker 3: fill all those buckets for you. And I think ultimately

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Speaker 3: that's not going to be great for the health of

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Speaker 3: the romantic relationship. But I'm curious what your feelings are

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Speaker 3: on that topic.

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Speaker 2: I just feel like every time we get into discussing

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Speaker 2: the sort of character traits that are going on in

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Speaker 2: these characters and their dynamics in their marriages, because almost

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Speaker 2: everybody on Westeria Lane is married for Susan for now, ironically,

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Speaker 2: with where I'm about to go with what I'm saying

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Speaker 2: is just that, like you know, it's been so long

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Speaker 2: since I've been a relationship that I start to think,

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Speaker 2: do I not have credibility in I don't know my opinion,

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Speaker 2: like because clearly I haven't been able to execute it.

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Speaker 2: I haven't been able to be successful, you know. And

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Speaker 2: it's but it's also interesting that it isn't like I've

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Speaker 2: tried that many times. I mean honestly, you know, like

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Speaker 2: I was married to your dad for ten years and

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Speaker 2: there's you know, great stuff including you and difficult stuff

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Speaker 2: that came out of that. I feel like we still

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Speaker 2: have a friendship, yeah, twelve fifteen years later, but it's

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Speaker 2: not an intimate like relationship. And by intimate I obviously

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Speaker 2: don't mean sexual. I just mean like, you know, I connected,

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Speaker 2: and I don't I have that with lots of girls friends,

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Speaker 2: Like I feel like very close deep feelings are revealed

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Speaker 2: with girlfriends, both with them supporting me and me supporting them.

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Speaker 2: But it's not even like I've I've tried over and over,

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Speaker 2: like I had this boyfriend for four months, and I

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Speaker 2: had this boyfriend for two years, and I had this

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Speaker 2: boyfriend for three. Like it's just like years go by

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Speaker 2: that it's not it doesn't come up for me, like,

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Speaker 2: and I do look at that when I look at

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Speaker 2: all these characters in the show having relationships, whether they're

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Speaker 2: flawed or not, and arguably lots of them are very flawed,

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Speaker 2: Like what's wrong with me?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Well, nothing is wrong with you, first

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Speaker 1: of all. And you absolutely have credibility to share your

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Speaker 1: own opinions and observations about your own life, your opinions

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Speaker 1: on relationships, your opinions on what you've observed in others relationships.

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Speaker 1: You have just as much credibility and authority to share

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Speaker 1: those opinions as anyone else. And I love hearing your

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Speaker 1: take on everything. But I think that you've had a

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Speaker 1: lot of you have honored a lot of your own

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Speaker 1: autonomy in the choice to be partnered or not be partnered.

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Speaker 1: It's not like you're not partnered by default. Like you

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Speaker 1: have been intentional. You even just said you've been selective

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Speaker 1: about the types of relationships you've had and how you've

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Speaker 1: had them. You've unpacked even just sitting here on these couches,

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Speaker 1: Like why when Emerson was younger, you kind of unintentionally

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Speaker 1: or rather at the time thought it was unintentional that

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Speaker 1: you didn't bring people into that intimate space with your daughter.

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Speaker 1: But now you've realized, oh no, that was incredibly intentional.

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Speaker 1: So there's a lot more power and strength in the

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Speaker 1: decisions you've made than I think you give yourself credit for. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I just want to point that out.

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Speaker 4: Well, Andrew, do you believe in emotional affairs or what

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Speaker 4: I do? Okay?

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Speaker 1: And I think you know. I agree that there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of nuance, there's a lot of gray. I want

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Speaker 1: people to have really rich emotional connections that exist outside

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Speaker 1: of a romantic reallyationship. But I do think you have

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Speaker 1: to be careful because for me, when and this is

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Speaker 1: just me, but when I have had a really special,

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Speaker 1: emotionally connected, magical experience with someone of the opposite gender,

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Speaker 1: which is you know where my romantic relationships have lied,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't feel platonic usually right. It usually ends up

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Speaker 1: feeling like, oh, that means that there's something deeper here,

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Speaker 1: there's something more here. And so I think that's why

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Speaker 1: it gets tricky trying to navigate where that line is.

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Speaker 1: And if you lean in too much, it can feel

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Speaker 1: like a like it can feel more hurtful than a

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Speaker 1: physical affair, because it's like you're allowing access to this

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Speaker 1: part of you that exists in your romantic relationship to

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Speaker 1: someone else. I don't know. I think you got to

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Speaker 1: be really careful with it. I think being respectful is

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Speaker 1: always the name of the game. I have been in

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Speaker 1: relationships where I have then developed feelings for someone else

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Speaker 1: in that relationship, and I have elected in those.

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Speaker 2: Moments inship in a romantic relationship for somebody else.

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Speaker 1: And then yeah, and I and I made the choice

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Speaker 1: in that moment, like what is the best way to

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Speaker 1: handle this? And I was honest. I was honest with

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Speaker 1: the person who I was in the relationship with. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to act on these feelings, but I have them,

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Speaker 1: and I want us to feel like we always lead

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Speaker 1: with trust. And so I'm having the difficult conversation because

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm supposed to do other than

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Speaker 1: tell you. Because you're the person who I have allegiance to.

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Speaker 1: You're the person who.

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Speaker 2: I'm ultimate land up leaving that relationship.

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Speaker 1: Ultimately after a few more rounds, you know, of breaking

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Speaker 1: up and getting back together, and it ultimately proved that

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Speaker 1: it was not the right relationship, which you know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if that's a signifier or not, but I

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Speaker 1: do stand by that choice that I chose to be

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Speaker 1: that open and honest about it, and.

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Speaker 2: The emotional fair part, you know. I mean, if you're

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Speaker 2: looking at Brie and Rex and George here like and

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Speaker 2: this example of like telling him her most intimate things

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Speaker 2: like sharing the food and how great it is and whatever.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I do feel like when you have something,

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Speaker 2: when you have a significant other and you have something

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Speaker 2: really special happen in your life for your day, and

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Speaker 2: you choosing not to share that with your significant other

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Speaker 2: and instead share that with someone else, it feels weird

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Speaker 2: to me, Like it feels like, why aren't you like

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Speaker 2: I get okay, maybe Rex in this example, Rex doesn't

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Speaker 2: like fancy food, and so here's another friend who does

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Speaker 2: like fancy food. And if it really was staying right

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Speaker 2: in that arena, like we have a friend whose husband

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Speaker 2: doesn't eat sushi, so she never gets to go eat

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Speaker 2: sushi with her husband because he doesn't eat it.

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Speaker 4: But she loves it.

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Speaker 2: But she loves it. It's her favorite thing, and so

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Speaker 2: we will specifically like take her out and be like

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Speaker 2: we're going on a fancy sushi date. We're gonna go

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Speaker 2: because we know you don't get to do this with

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Speaker 2: your husband, right. It doesn't mean she's not sharing like

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Speaker 2: great love and great other moments. It's just this like

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Speaker 2: one thing. But I think in the example of Bree,

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Speaker 2: it feels like it's a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: Oh, because it's replacing something she's not getting, which is

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Speaker 1: only going to create a deeper divide in the marriage.

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Speaker 4: I think that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: I think with a deep emotional intimacy with other people,

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Speaker 3: you have if you're in a partnership with someone else,

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Speaker 3: a monogamous partnership, you have to be conscious of is

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Speaker 3: this person bringing something into my life that is just

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Speaker 3: additive at like the sushi example, and or am I

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Speaker 3: looking to this person to replace things I'm actively not

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Speaker 3: getting d dingdingship? Yeah, And I think if you are,

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Speaker 3: that's not necessarily a bad thing. But I think that

417
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Speaker 3: is giving you information about the romantic relationship you're in

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Speaker 3: maybe not serving the needs that you want it to

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Speaker 3: be serving, and maybe you should make a decision about

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Speaker 3: that relationship as opposed to just offloading those needs onto

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Speaker 3: someone else and staying in an ultimately kind of unfulfilling relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good way, is it

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Speaker 2: additive or is it replacing? That's a good way to

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Speaker 2: clock in with yourself to go am I in trouble? So,

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Speaker 2: by the way, if you're listening to this podcast on

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Speaker 2: your way to work and you're about to go to

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Speaker 2: the office where you're having an emotional fair with.

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Speaker 4: Us, right exactly, this is the.

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Speaker 2: Part where you ask yourself, am I getting additive stuff

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Speaker 2: or am I replacing stuff I'm missing? Well, that'll tell

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Speaker 2: you if you're going wrong or not.

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Speaker 3: And you should ask yourself this question before you make

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Speaker 3: the decision to get married or engaged. Which great of

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Speaker 3: us brings us into Sophie Susan's mom talking about being

435
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Speaker 3: a hopeless romantic who's been married many times. She married

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Speaker 3: a gambler, she married a drinker, she married a gay man,

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Speaker 3: then she married one of those men again, and she

438
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 3: swore that she would never get married again, although, of course,

439
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 3: in this episode, Morty comes and asks her, albeit with

440
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 3: his dead wife's engagement ring, and she does decide to practical.

441
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 3: He's practical, I mean, God bless him, Thank you, Bob Newhart.

442
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 3: She does decide to get engaged to him.

443
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 4: And this made me.

444
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: It brought up a lot of questions for me, and

445
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 3: also the conversation that Susan and Sophie have around her

446
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 3: getting engaged made me question do you identify as a

447
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 3: hopeless romantic? And also do you have a separate from that,

448
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 3: do you have a judgment about the time it takes

449
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 3: to like go from relationship to relationship, because I think

450
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 3: I definitely identify as someone who is, you know, a

451
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 3: serial monogamer who pretty much has gone from relationship to relationship.

452
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 3: And while I would not call myself a hopeless romantic

453
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 3: because I don't identify with that term, I do think

454
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 3: I'm the kind of person who maps onto people the

455
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 3: best version of their potential self when I first meet them,

456
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 3: and I think, to some degree, this is what we're

457
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: doing in all romance parts of a relationship. You know,

458
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 3: you meet someone, you project everything you hope that they

459
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 3: can be onto them, and then, over the course of time,

460
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 3: which is the only way you can figure this out,

461
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 3: you pull back those projections and see them for who

462
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 3: they are, and either that is in line with the

463
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 3: person that you feel like you have been in love with,

464
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: or it shows you new information and you realize maybe

465
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 3: this isn't the right relationship for me, And so I

466
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 3: feel like for myself, I have definitely I definitely know

467
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 3: that I dive into relationships full of projection, and as

468
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 3: I've gotten older, I don't think I will ever be

469
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 3: someone who doesn't seek a relationship or doesn't have a

470
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 3: relationship find me and is interested in exploring it. But

471
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 3: I just work on being more measured and intentional about

472
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 3: how I guard my own personal boundaries before I really

473
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: merge with someone else.

474
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I take issue with the term as a whole, don't.

475
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: I think it's inherently pejorative when we use that word romantic,

476
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: hopeless romantic. I think it's actually wrong. It's a misnomer, right.

477
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: It should be hopeful romantic, because usually it's the people

478
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: who really believe in love and go full hearted into something,

479
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: and I think that's really beautiful. I also don't identify

480
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: as a hopeless romantic or necessarily a hopeful romantic. I

481
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: think I'm someone who appreciates romance. But I have lived

482
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 1: in a very guarded way, and I am not someone

483
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: who went from a relationship to relationship. I need a

484
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 1: lot of time in between things. I'm a big processor.

485
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: I felt for a long time that I needed to

486
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 1: do all that processing alone before I could jump into

487
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: something new. And so I don't really love that idea,

488
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: and it's often tossed around to the people who seem,

489
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, like other things that are kind of

490
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 1: not put in a positive spin, like for Sophie, for

491
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 1: exams ample, it's like flighty or unpredictable or inconsistent or

492
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: helpless romantic, right, helpless romantic, and it's like, you know,

493
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: let's give those people a little bit more respect than.

494
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 2: That, can I ask you? This is just a memory thing. Yeah,

495
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 2: there was a moment when Susan and Julie and Sophie

496
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 2: and Morty are out on the front lawn, yes, and

497
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 2: Susan seems to be very excited about her mom leaving,

498
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 2: like like, oh, that's what's going to happen with this engagement,

499
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 2: Like she's gonna leave. And then and there's this now

500
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 2: I'm not even remembering, but there's like this take where

501
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 2: like Julie says something and then and then I mean,

502
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 2: I mean Susan says something, and then Julie's like says.

503
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: Julie says something like can't you stay another week?

504
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 2: That part and then right and then you did something

505
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,479
Speaker 2: where you have a line. You're right behind me and

506
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 2: you you have no you have some line where you're like,

507
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: is it like like it was like there was there

508
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: was just some comedic moment. It was just great. But

509
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: it made me think, do you remember more.

510
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: About filming with them?

511
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 2: Yeah? I do remember it because I lose all my memories,

512
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: and in losing all my memories of specificity of it,

513
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 2: I'm horrified because Bob Newhart is just a damn genius icon.

514
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 2: I mean, it's unfathomable that I got to work with him.

515
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: You know, when I was on the love Boat a

516
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: thousand years ago, my first job ever, The love Boat

517
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: was sort of known for you know, they have all

518
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 2: these kind of like famous people come through each episode.

519
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 2: And Donald O'Connor from Singing in the Room did an

520
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 2: favorite a time did an episode of the love Boat

521
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 2: while I was there, and he autographed a headshot to me,

522
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: I have how do you.

523
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 4: Have never told me that?

524
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 2: I don't know?

525
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 1: And where is it?

526
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 2: It's in my keepsake?

527
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: Wow, like I should.

528
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 3: Be framed in my Okay make him laugh? Is like

529
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 3: I just I can't even wow.

530
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: Okay, well that's so cute that I didn't really put

531
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: that to that, but.

532
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: You have a future amazing gift to bestow.

533
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 2: Ever you know what you're getting for Christmas. But here

534
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: I am now looking at this going I was doing

535
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: this scene with Bob Newhart and why don't I mean,

536
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 2: did I tell you the story about him taking care

537
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 2: of my parents on Vegas?

538
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

539
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 2: So I believe that there's an autographed album somewhere, probably

540
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 2: at my parents' house. You know. I know that my

541
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 2: mom seems to have this recollection of how great he

542
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 2: treated my parents in Vegas, but like, I don't have it.

543
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 2: So you remember more.

544
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 3: Well.

545
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: I remember obviously being aware of the fact that I

546
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: was getting the chance to work with him and being

547
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: the scene with him. I mean, that was really big,

548
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: huge thing in my life. So I remember that. I

549
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,479
Speaker 1: also have really lovely memories of working with Leslie and

550
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,880
Speaker 1: bumping into her a few years after we had worked

551
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: together at a Starbucks up on Beverly Glenn.

552
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: I jumped into her up.

553
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 1: Must she yellow pages?

554
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 4: I love that.

555
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: Starbucks anyway, I don't really do Starbucks accept that one.

556
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she she came over to me and said,

557
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: you know, oh, do you remember we worked together? And

558
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 1: I was like, do I remember? Do you remember, do.

559
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:27,920
Speaker 2: You remember me? Yeah?

560
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: So I I have those sweet memories, you know. But

561
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: I also think there was that there was a really

562
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: lovely moment, uh with you, well with Susan and Morty,

563
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: with with Terry and Bob Newhart when he goes to

564
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: propose and you sort of help him.

565
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,479
Speaker 2: Down to his knee. Oh my gosh. I know.

566
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: I love children being present for a parent's proposal, or

567
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: parents being present for a children's proposal, which I will

568
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: just say from personal experience. So I got engaged in Hawaii.

569
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 4: Josh, how did you get proposed to?

570
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: So? Josh planned a really special, beautiful, full proposal for

571
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: me in Hawaii where it had a lot of funny

572
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: kind of bumps along the way, flights being canceled, delayed,

573
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: us having a very short time there, all these things.

574
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: But we had a very private proposal moment that was

575
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: just us too, and I thought that was that and

576
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: it's exactly what I would have wanted. And then we

577
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: went back to where we were staying and he was

578
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: kind of acting funny, and I thought, well, what the

579
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: jig's up? Like you already proposed, I don't know why

580
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: you're still acting funny. And then he said, Okay, close

581
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: your eyes and you're just gonna walk with me. And

582
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: I was like okay. So I closed my eyes and

583
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,719
Speaker 1: I was walking around and I didn't know where he

584
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: was taking me, and he said open my eyes. And

585
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 1: my parents were there holding two lays, Hawaiian lays, and

586
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: they said congratulations. Yes, And so he had flown my

587
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: parents into Hawaii and we then had this amazing several

588
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: days of snorkeling and exploring and all the different.

589
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: Under the water, like the beautiful just come over and

590
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 2: like look at.

591
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: It, because it would take that thing in the ocean,

592
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: and I ended up ending up with a different ring,

593
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: which is a story for another time, Okay, but not

594
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: because that ring wasn't perfect. It was beautiful. But anyway,

595
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,479
Speaker 1: So I loved that Susan was a part of her

596
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: mom's proposal because I think but that's particular.

597
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 2: I love that moment also, like Terry Hatcher helped Bob

598
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,719
Speaker 2: Newhart down to his knee in a proposal scene and

599
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 2: she doesn't fucking remember it, like what the hell is?

600
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: And I do wonder if that was scripted or if

601
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: that came from you know, when when you guys rehearsed

602
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: and and maybe it was a natural thing.

603
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

604
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know it was, but it was tender

605
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 3: and spoke so much to their relationship. And I definitely have,

606
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 3: like had many fantasies about proposal, dream proposal.

607
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: Do you have a current dreaming?

608
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: I remember one from your teenage yet I.

609
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 4: Know which one you're gonna say that has been That

610
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 4: was a long health Okay.

611
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 2: Well tell us tell me. Well, as I recall it

612
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: the first time, we you know, we know you know

613
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: that Emerson and I are quite big foodies, and we've

614
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 2: done a lot of traveling around the world, going to

615
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 2: lots of interesting, highly rated restaurants, and one of them

616
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 2: that was on the Best Restaurant in the World for

617
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: many minute minute years was eleven Madison.

618
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 3: Park before it was given Yeah, before it was I

619
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 3: think it's regular.

620
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: It's going back for it did already.

621
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, very amazing restaurant. A whole other story, but anyway,

622
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: before it was vegan many years ago, we went there

623
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 2: for the first time and.

624
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: They had a dish that was like a I know

625
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 3: what it was, Okay, it was this beautiful it came

626
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 3: like it looked like a little caviar tin and it

627
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 3: was this corn putting. It was like, yeah, like a

628
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 3: corn putting with caviar, I think in the center of it.

629
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 3: And it was this beautiful, very elegant, but it came

630
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 3: in this little box and I remember saying it was

631
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 3: so good.

632
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

633
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 3: I was like, if someone put an engagement ring in

634
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: this dish, I would have to say yes, wow, yeah.

635
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 3: And maybe I've always been a hopeful romantic, I think

636
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 3: being queer, I have definitely now had various fantasies about

637
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 3: being the one to propose, being proposed.

638
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 4: To, both proposing to each other.

639
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 3: I actually one of my good friend's sisters just proposed

640
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 3: to her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, which was

641
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 3: like very subversion of heteronormative gender roles. But I think,

642
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: you know what's interesting now, at this twenty eighth year

643
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: of my life, I am participating less in projecting fantasy.

644
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 4: So I have thought a lot less about what my.

645
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 3: Dream engagement ring looks like, what my dream proposal is,

646
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 3: and I think my focus has shifted much more to

647
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 3: what are the dream characteristics of the type of partner

648
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 3: I want to build a life with, and if that

649
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 3: is with no ring, if that is not formally married

650
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: in the eyes of the government.

651
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 4: If that is, I mean, I do want it.

652
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: It doesn't come in a caviar carriers an.

653
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 3: Eleven Madison park with corn I might still say yes

654
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 3: and anyway this, Yeah, I love hearing your proposals.

655
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: That's growth. No, I mean that sounds like a really

656
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: dreaming proposal. I'll agree with young Emerson there. Yeah, we have.

657
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: We also have other crazy relationships happening in this storyline

658
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: or this particular episode, because we still got the Gabby

659
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: Carlos stuff, which is really uh, I don't know, man,

660
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: this relationship is all over the.

661
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 4: Map, circling the dream.

662
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do think we're We've got a stronger

663
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: Gabby back in this episode. I guess she has a

664
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: little bit more agency, although she she really believes Carlos

665
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: when he does blame it on his mother, which I'm

666
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: so curious. Yes, no, no, both somebody.

667
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 2: That scene in particular, I thought Eva was so great

668
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 2: in that scene, like and just like the going from

669
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 2: the intensity of anger and surety of her judgment and

670
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: then like to the point where she's like, oh, it's

671
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: the other person, you know.

672
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 3: She's like, oh, of course, leave it to her, Like

673
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 3: if you respect her fucking with me from the grave.

674
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 2: Which I'm going, like so many directions, my head is exploding. Okay,

675
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: but that so I love that line that that that

676
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,959
Speaker 2: scene Culm natsan and she says, Wow, she's good. She's

677
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: reaching out from the grave, you know, And it made

678
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 2: me think about I have had an experience where I

679
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: felt that someone was reaching out from the grave. Have

680
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 2: you guys ever had a ghost experience?

681
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 4: No?

682
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: No, I mean, actually that's not true. We've talked about

683
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 3: this a lot. I do think you are have a

684
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 3: very and I know we don't even necessarily believe in this,

685
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 3: but I do think you have a very witchy sort

686
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 3: of like spiritually open sense to the universe, and I

687
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 3: have inherited in some part that from you. I have

688
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 3: had two ghost experiences, one in Japan with you and

689
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 3: then one just recently in London. Last time I was

690
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 3: in London at the Corinthia Hotel.

691
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: Hotelsynthia, that's where they always hang out.

692
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 3: Eure up in older places. But Mom, I want you

693
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 3: to tell your gross story because that was so directly

694
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 3: like and you could prove yeah, it was pretty nutty.

695
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: Okay, tell us.

696
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 2: So I this was back when I was competing on

697
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 2: Chopped right, okay, which I did win. Yes, only against celebrities.

698
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: It's all you know, win is a win. Take it

699
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 2: all with a grain of salt, but a win is

700
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 2: a win anyway. So I take my games and my

701
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 2: cooking very seriously. So I went to New York. When

702
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 2: you do the show, you have to be there at

703
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 2: six in the morning and then you like cook throughout

704
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 2: the whole day, and so it's a big day. So

705
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: I went there a day before so that I could

706
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: get on New York time at least a little bit.

707
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: So when I landed, I was staying at the Soho

708
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 2: House down in the Meatpacking area, and I i went.

709
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: I got there around like seven thirty, and I was like,

710
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 2: very I had my idea. I'm going to get a

711
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 2: John's pizza. I'm going to eat it really fast. I'm

712
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 2: going to take a shower. I'm going to be in

713
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: bed by nine o'clock so that I can wake up

714
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 2: at like five and then be up so that the

715
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 2: next night I can go to bed and then get

716
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 2: up and then do the show. And that was my

717
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 2: big plan. So I got my pizza, got my shower,

718
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 2: got my pajamazon, and I'm in the bed. Now, these

719
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 2: rooms at the Soho house are that They're like a

720
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: big bed in the main bedroom, and then there's an

721
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: egg shaped bathtub kind of in the corner. And it's

722
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 2: sort of a unique thing. It's not in the bathroom,

723
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 2: it's in it's in the bed, in the recroom. It's

724
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 2: in the room with you. So I go to sleep

725
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 2: about nine o'clock and maybe an hour later, I wake up.

726
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 4: I sit up in bed like out of a dead sleep.

727
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 2: Out of a dead sleep. I look at the bathtub

728
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 2: and I had the thought I have is someone died

729
00:36:55,200 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 2: in here? And I'm like, oh my, and I could

730
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 2: not shake it, like I couldn't go back to sleep.

731
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 2: I felt so weird, and so I got up and

732
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 2: I called down to this lovely young girl that had

733
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 2: checked me in at the desk, and I was like,

734
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: can you come up to my room. I just I

735
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: need to ask something because I felt like I can't

736
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 2: ask this over the phone.

737
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: That's my favorite part of the story. I can't possibly

738
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 3: say I think someone died in the year over.

739
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: So she comes up, knock, knock, knock. So I opened

740
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 2: the door. So she's standing in the hallway. I'm standing

741
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 2: in the in the in the room, I'm in my pajamas,

742
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: and I say, thank you so much for coming up.

743
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: And this is insane. You're just gonna think I'm crazy,

744
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:38,439
Speaker 2: But but did did somebody die in here? And her

745
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 2: face just like goes white and she's like stunned, staring

746
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 2: at me and doesn't say anything. And then i'd like

747
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 2: take a pause, and I'm like, did somebody die in here?

748
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: And she's like, can I come in? And I was like,

749
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 2: oh my god. So she comes into the room, closes

750
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 2: the room, and she proceeds to explain to me that

751
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: a woman was drowned murdered in the bathtub. And then

752
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 2: she's like She's like, that's about all she says. But

753
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,959
Speaker 2: then she's like, but it was quite a while ago

754
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: and we've completely redone the room. But if you'd like

755
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 2: me to move you to a different room, I can

756
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 2: move you to a different room. And I'm like, so,

757
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 2: just like I have to do chop, I have to

758
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 2: go to bed. Wait, someone died in here. I don't

759
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: understand what's happening to me right now. I just couldn't

760
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 2: compute it all like my and so I was like, no,

761
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 2: I'm fine, thank you, And so she leaves. So now

762
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 2: I'm in this room and I'm like, okay, So I

763
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 2: go get back in my bed, and I'm like, cannot

764
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 2: go back to waiting. So then I go look up

765
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: on the computer, of course Google, like you know, girl

766
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 2: dies in Soho house whatever, And sure enough it was

767
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 2: a story that a guy who happened to be the

768
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 2: son of like some really rich record producer who was

769
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 2: on trial, like was in prison, like so the trial

770
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,919
Speaker 2: had not happened, Like the thing was still happening, okay,

771
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 2: even though I think it had been like a year

772
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 2: and a half or something like that, but it was still, like,

773
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 2: you know, I guess these things take a long time anyways,

774
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 2: And the girl had been a bikini fashion designer who

775
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 2: was like maybe in her early thirties, and she was

776
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 2: very beautiful and having like some burging success. And the accusation,

777
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 2: the accusation was that he drowned her. And now it's alleged.

778
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: I don't know how it all turned out, but the

779
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 2: accusation at the time was that he drowned her in

780
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 2: the bathtub.

781
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: She died in the bathtub in the house.

782
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: And it happened on my birthday, like a year and

783
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 2: a half before God, and so I decided that because

784
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 2: of that, there was some sort of connection. And I

785
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, what I'm gathering is that you just

786
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 2: feel like forgotten and you feel like unseen, and you.

787
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:05,439
Speaker 5: Feel like like you you've got you know, the raw deal,

788
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 5: and nobody's like you're not getting justice, and so like,

789
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 5: you know, I want you to know.

790
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,720
Speaker 2: That I I see you. This is a horrible story.

791
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry this happened to you. And like she said,

792
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 2: this is like amazing. But I'm going to pack my

793
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 2: bags and go across the street to the dance floor hotel,

794
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 2: so please don't follow me because I have to do chopped. Wow,

795
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 2: that's a crazy story that really happened. It's not nuts,

796
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: that's nuts.

797
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: That's nuts, if you can tell from my gas. But

798
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 1: I was really imped.

799
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 2: But wait to circle back to how great Eva was

800
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 2: in this scene. It did actually make me think I

801
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 2: wanted to just nod to did you guys get like

802
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 2: the whole episode? Like Larry Shaw directed this episode, and

803
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 2: I'd be so curious to talk to him. I mean,

804
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 2: I thought either it was where the writing meets the directing,

805
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 2: where you know, the what do they say something on

806
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 2: the road, like, I don't know where the where the

807
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 2: chicks thro Yeah, the rubber the chicken crosses it and

808
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 2: the rubber meets it. It kills and then kills the chicken.

809
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: Gardner rubber duckies and there's how it acts.

810
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 2: But I felt like everyone was so good in this episode. Yeah, yeah,

811
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: I agree, Like the acting was just I don't know,

812
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 2: the storytelling, it was just off the charts for me.

813
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 4: I I totally agree.

814
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 3: Another moment I loved in this episode was Susan and

815
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 3: Julie going through Mike's file because Susan doesn't want to

816
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 3: read the police file.

817
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 4: She's gotten about what Mike has done.

818
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:35,919
Speaker 1: From the PI.

819
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:41,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, and of course she makes Julie another amazing parenting moment,

820
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 3: makes they're endless. Yeah, makes Julie go through the file,

821
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 3: and it made me think, I mean and I also

822
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 3: I loved the conversation of like she's, hey, we'll make

823
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 3: the news like even if it's bad news, like make

824
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 3: it sound She's.

825
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,479
Speaker 2: Like, do you want the good news bad news? First?

826
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 2: Are you a good news or bad news?

827
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 3: Well?

828
00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna ask.

829
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, do you what do you think

830
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 3: is the best way to deliver bad news? And are

831
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,479
Speaker 3: you the kind of person that wants good news first

832
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: or bad news first?

833
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 4: And what if there is no good news, I want

834
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 4: the bad news first.

835
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,959
Speaker 1: I will always say, give me the bad news first,

836
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: and then chase it with some sort of dessert news,

837
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: right Like, I'm like, give me the medicine and then

838
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 1: and then give me the sugar. I don't know the

839
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 1: best way to deliver bad news other than try to

840
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: make it as streamlined as simple as possible. I think

841
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: people get really anxious when they are waiting to hear something.

842
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 2: I think you actor and m just like you didn't

843
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 2: get the part right, yes, rip the band aid off.

844
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many times in my life

845
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: like yeah, and you get and you get the phone.

846
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 2: Like sometimes the worst is when the agent calls you,

847
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: but isn't the agent, it's the assistant of the agent

848
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 2: calls and says like, oh, I have so and so

849
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 2: calling for you. Please call us back, And you're like, yeah,

850
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 2: that's not good. You just all the way already. You're

851
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: like that's not good because if it was you got

852
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 2: the part, it would be like, hi, please goes back

853
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 2: right away, or whatever, and instead you get they Hi,

854
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: it's so and so calling and you're just like so.

855
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 2: Then when you finally get the agent on the phone,

856
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, you didn't get it. I mean I

857
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 2: get this.

858
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: Sometimes my manager will call me and then he my

859
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 3: manager sometimes is not always the most direct about things.

860
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 3: I'll kind of like shoot the ship for a mental

861
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:15,240
Speaker 3: how's your weekend?

862
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: How's I know I've just that's the thing.

863
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 3: I know. I've just pitched a movie. So I'm like, okay, like,

864
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 3: when are we going to get to the part where

865
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: they passed? Because you would have led with I have

866
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 3: amazing Because he always does that. When it's good news,

867
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 3: he's like, boy, do.

868
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 4: I have news for you?

869
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 2: Right?

870
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 3: And then I'm excited, and when it's not good news,

871
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 3: he's like, so would you do it for the weekend?

872
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, just tell me that they don't want me

873
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 4: to write the movie, like I don't.

874
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 3: But it was.

875
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: It's a very and it's another really adorable scene for

876
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: Susan and Julie, like questioning parenting aside, it's just a

877
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: sweet moment and I did agree. I love the way

878
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 1: that Larry shot so much of this episode and even

879
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 1: that It's like you see Susan in the background and

880
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: Julie in the foreground reading the folder, and there's just

881
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,280
Speaker 1: so much happening between what they're saying or not saying.

882
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: And you know, I didn't remember filming that scene, but I.

883
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 2: Remember because we had a lot of work together, and

884
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 2: these last leading up I think, Yeah, as we're getting

885
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: to the finale, and I just, I know, like it's

886
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 2: boring to just hear me say, like I just can't

887
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 2: get over how good you are and kind of how

888
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: good we are together, Like I enjoy it so much. Yeah,

889
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:26,359
Speaker 2: but I don't remember it, Like, how is that possible? Well?

890
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: We I mean, look, Terry, you were also raising Emerson

891
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 1: at the time, you had a million other things going

892
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: on in your world. The show was crazy, like there

893
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: was so many things happening that can affect what.

894
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 2: I also do think there's a scientific thing going on

895
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,919
Speaker 2: with my career in general, especially with how many years

896
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 2: I've been on television. So if you think about it,

897
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 2: it was like four or five years on Lewis and Clark,

898
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: you know, at this pace, and then seven to eight

899
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 2: on Desperate Housewives. Not to mention other stuff, but it's

900
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 2: like my short term memory. My ability to like look

901
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 2: at this piece of paper and literally memorize it in

902
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 2: I don't know, fifteen minutes is so acute. But then

903
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 2: if you ask me what I did yesterday, I have

904
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 2: no idea.

905
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 3: Well, it's downloading and offloading, right like over and over

906
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 3: and over, and I feel like somehow the memories of

907
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 3: this show have gotten like that, fallen into that category.

908
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 2: So unless it's like super dramatic either one way or another,

909
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 2: meaning like either really really great or really really bad,

910
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 2: I sort of didn't hang on to it.

911
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot of so much of life.

912
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 3: The one other storyline I wanted to talk about in

913
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 3: this and I know we touched on it briefly is

914
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 3: Lynette and Tom because also when we interviewed Doug, he

915
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 3: talked about being in the song and then the episode

916
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 3: is the famous song, and I'm so excited about it.

917
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: Great.

918
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: By the way, I know, I don't know what he

919
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 3: was self conscious. I mean, I totally understand why you're

920
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 3: self conscious.

921
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 2: Well you know what it made me think about though,

922
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: because again he kind of brought it up. But I

923
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 2: have a recollection of James doing a scene on this

924
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 2: is early in the show where he's shirtless raking in

925
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 2: his yard.

926
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 4: Yeah he looks great.

927
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, So I feel like if we get him

928
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: back in here, we're gonna have to talk to him

929
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 2: about this. I feel like either it was either one

930
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: of two things Mark didn't Mark Terry didn't tell him

931
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 2: that he was going to be shooting a shirtless scene

932
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 2: raking soon enough, and so he was desperately doing like

933
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 2: pushups and stuff. And he had wished that Mark had

934
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 2: told him like a week in advance, so that he

935
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 2: could have quit eating pizza and beer the night before.

936
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 2: And but it made me think about Doug with this

937
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: scene and how I am. And I'm wondering about even

938
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 2: you guys when you go on like vacation to the

939
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 2: beach or whatever. I'm totally guilty of. Like we had

940
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: a photo shoot. Okay, we had a photo shoot, and

941
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 2: three days before the photoshoot, I stopped drinking and I

942
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 2: stopped eating sugar, and I really pulled back on the carbs.

943
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: And that is a real thing. And the truth is,

944
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 2: I don't know that in three days there's actually going

945
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 2: to be at any measurable, you know, difference between how

946
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 2: I fit in a pair of pants or don't, but

947
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: in my brain, I just feel more confident and like

948
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 2: less insecure and ready to go. And I feel like

949
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 2: actors do that.

950
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna well, totally actors do that.

951
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 3: I mean as obviously parents with actors, actor friends, parents

952
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,800
Speaker 3: who are actors and actor friends. I've watched many of

953
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 3: my friends go through various phases of bulking up or

954
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 3: dropping way very quickly in ways that I would say

955
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 3: are not healthy. That is not a healthy way to

956
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 3: change your body.

957
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 2: And I know that. Just laugh. I just want to clarify.

958
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 2: In my three days before the photoshoot, I was not

959
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 2: not I was eating like sardine.

960
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 4: I'm not attacking spinach.

961
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 2: And whatever.

962
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 4: I'm not attacking you.

963
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 3: But I will say how she said she did like

964
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 3: stop drinking water and like didn't eat carbs for like

965
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 3: three miles.

966
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 2: I heard Mindy Kaling said that about the met Ball,

967
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 2: that she did stop drinking water.

968
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: Maybe we all have felt this immense pressure given the

969
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 1: met Ball and my profileness of it all.

970
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is a thing I feel like

971
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 3: we see perpetuated a lot in Hollywood of like, oh,

972
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 3: I'm gonna really have these restrictive diets. So I look

973
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 3: a certain way, and I've definitely been guilty of not

974
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 3: going on like a beach vacation, but I'm thinking about

975
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 3: even going on like a first date or something when

976
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 3: you like meet up for drinks at like eight o'clock

977
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 3: or eight thirty and you're well past dinner, like you're

978
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 3: not going to be eating on the date. But I

979
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 3: don't really want to eat dinner before the date because

980
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 3: I don't want to be like full in case the

981
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 3: date gets more intimate.

982
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 4: Well, I'll like, I'll have like half a Greek yogurt.

983
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 3: At like seven and be like that's gonna have to

984
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 3: be good until tomorrow, because I don't like it if

985
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 3: I'm like take care of clothes.

986
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 1: I get some actions, yeah, because I might get, but

987
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 1: then you have to be really careful with the being

988
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: a drink, so only date, you got to be really

989
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 1: careful then if you don't have enough in the stomach.

990
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 4: And so I don't recommend this.

991
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 3: And the thing I'm going to say is I had

992
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 3: a guy friend of mine, one of my good good friends,

993
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 3: who I do not, you know, think I have an

994
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 3: emotional affair with, but we've known.

995
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 4: Each other since high school. And he said to me.

996
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 3: We were somehow talking about like eating or not eating

997
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 3: before sex on a date, like, oh, if you got

998
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 3: to an Italian restaurant, you eat a lot of food,

999
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 3: then you take your clothes off.

1000
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, god that's so hard. Like

1001
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 4: as a you know, a woman, I think about that

1002
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: a lot.

1003
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 3: And he said, and it was such a masculine thing,

1004
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 3: and I really actually kind of want to embrace this

1005
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 3: and like embody this in my own body, in my life.

1006
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 4: He was like, I don't know.

1007
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 3: He was like, I kind of like getting full at

1008
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 3: dinner and then having sex, like i feel really like

1009
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 3: grounded and like powerful, Like oh, I'm like have like

1010
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 3: a belly full of food and now I'm like having sex.

1011
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 4: And I was like, wow, god, this is so male. Yeah,

1012
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 4: like this is so masculine.

1013
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 3: But also if I wasn't thinking about how I was

1014
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 3: being perceived sucking in my stomach, maybe that would feel

1015
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: really sex.

1016
00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 2: Okay if I do sex again, because we're really gonna

1017
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: we're really gonna stomp on this whole celibacy rumor because

1018
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,399
Speaker 2: I I remember started that I'm celibate. I'm like, I'm

1019
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: not celibate. Is like a conscious idea and choice and

1020
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,800
Speaker 2: connect to have sex. I just don't have anybody to

1021
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 2: have sex with. Okay, that doesn't make me cellibate, that

1022
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:18,240
Speaker 2: just makes me sad.

1023
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1024
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not sad, but I will say when and

1025
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 2: if I do get the opportunity to have sex again,

1026
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 2: I'm eating a fucking bowl of pasta before I do it.

1027
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 2: I know That's what I'm doing now.

1028
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it. I'm like, that's the hottest thing ever.

1029
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 3: I want to be like full of spaghetti and like, yeah,

1030
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 3: let's have it.

1031
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 4: Forgot, let's do it.

1032
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 1: Well. This kind of naturally segues into another part of

1033
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: the Tom and Lynette storyline. So the reason that Tom

1034
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 1: wears the thong is because he makes this comment earlier

1035
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,399
Speaker 1: in the episode to Lynette about, well, you know, men

1036
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: like it when women put in a little effort sometimes.

1037
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 4: Which, oh you Tom, I thought she's gonna.

1038
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: Deck him again like she does.

1039
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,720
Speaker 2: Tom is not wearing well on TikTok.

1040
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,360
Speaker 1: Right, it's because of But then he does try to

1041
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 1: redeem himself by being the one who does put the

1042
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: thong on. Right, But in any case, whatever, he does

1043
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: make this comment, and it made me think about the

1044
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: idea of where does putting an effort to create sexy moments,

1045
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: you know, fall in the prioritization of a relationship, Like

1046
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:23,479
Speaker 1: do you need to always be putting in that level

1047
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: of effort to be you know, creating sexual fantasy moments

1048
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: for your partner? Is that realistic? Can you sustain that?

1049
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 2: Again? You know, talked about earlier. I feel like I

1050
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 2: have no credibility.

1051
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 4: I would say I would. I would jump in and say, yeah,

1052
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 4: how do you feel?

1053
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 1: Emerson, that's the other person.

1054
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 2: In the room who was having anything?

1055
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 3: You know.

1056
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was talking to my therapist about this.

1057
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 3: Actually, Like the difference between romance and like a relationship.

1058
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 3: A relationship is this long sustaining thing, and romance is

1059
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 3: a feeling that in some ways leads to a relationship

1060
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 3: sometimes but also is something kind of entirely different and

1061
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 3: is beautiful, Like it's beautiful to cultivate romance in our lives.

1062
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 3: I try to do that even when I am alone.

1063
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 3: Like I like to light incense in the morning. I

1064
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 3: like to light a candle if I'm doing yoga, like

1065
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 3: the lights to dim, or like have a glass of

1066
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 3: wine while I'm cooking and put on a record.

1067
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 2: Can I say that I do that by myself too,

1068
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 2: and because I spend a lot of time alone and

1069
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 2: I do a lot of talking about how I have

1070
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: not been in a relationship in a long time. I

1071
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 2: am in a relationship with myself that is very consciously caretaking.

1072
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 2: You know, I get in the jacuzzi, I will go

1073
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 2: for a swim, I will light candles, I will make

1074
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 2: myself a nice meal.

1075
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 3: Like the romance that you cultivate with yourself is an

1076
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 3: amazing starting place for the romance that I think you're

1077
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 3: able to cultivate in a relationship.

1078
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 4: Absolutely, and I do think it is cultivating.

1079
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:55,600
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not a huge one, and I never

1080
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 3: have been in relationships to like dress up in a

1081
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 3: made costume like Lynette or like whatever insert whatever your

1082
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 3: sexual fantasy is. I think that can be a fun

1083
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 3: conversation to have with a partner and explore. But that's

1084
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 3: certainly not like the daily routine of intimacy in my experience.

1085
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 3: But I do think trying to align on rituals that

1086
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 3: cultivate a sense of intimacy with yourself that then you're

1087
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 3: able to extend to your partner is maybe a way

1088
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 3: to keep the romance alive.

1089
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 1: Well, it's also the intention behind it. It's that when

1090
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: someone shows that they are choosing to do something to

1091
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 1: excite you, it almost doesn't matter what the thing is.

1092
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,839
Speaker 1: It's that they recognize that they're going to do something

1093
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 1: to try to excite you and feel connected with you.

1094
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 3: Nothing is hotter than being listened to nothing, having someone

1095
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:44,439
Speaker 3: act on what you've said.

1096
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, correctly, that's the key to and that is sustainable

1097
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 1: and it is hot. And I do think that creating

1098
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,360
Speaker 1: romantic moments for yourself is super critical and crucial. And I,

1099
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 1: for one, love a dimly lit shower. I think that

1100
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: is a wonderfully romantic thing you can provide yourself. And

1101
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 1: if you are showering with all the lights on, I

1102
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: mean obviously sometimes like in the morning or whatever, but

1103
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: if you're a nighttime shower and you're not setting the

1104
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 1: mood with your lighting, let me tell you try that

1105
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: and then get back to us even how.

1106
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 2: You're doing Meandra, So we're finishing this episode up with

1107
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 2: you know, Felicia is trying to take hold of Zach

1108
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 2: and get him away from Paul, and.

1109
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 4: Which, god, Marcus so great in that scene. There's more

1110
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 4: to say.

1111
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 3: There's always more to say, and we have Susan finally

1112
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 3: reading through the file on Mike and then getting the

1113
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 3: truth from Kendra that Mike was not actually the bad

1114
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: guy that she thinks he was.

1115
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 1: She gives her permission to go for it again. So

1116
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 1: then we get this really sweet kiss on the porch.

1117
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 3: I know to be a hopeless or hopeful romantic. I

1118
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 3: love that rebrand.

1119
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 2: There's not a lot better than Susan running across the

1120
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 2: street into Mike's arms.

1121
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 1: We get a few moments in the first season of it,

1122
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: and I hope it never ends.

1123
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,319
Speaker 3: I know, so I mean, I know, I hope as

1124
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 3: you go out into your week, you find a way,

1125
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 3: whether it's with yourself or with a partner, or with

1126
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 3: someone you're having an emotional affair with, to run across

1127
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,720
Speaker 3: the street, to let yourself be hopeful, to cultivate intimacy

1128
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:09,320
Speaker 3: with yourself.

1129
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 2: Look those ways first before you do it. Exactly take

1130
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 2: our advice, because we are desperately devoted to you.