1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: Support for today's podcast comes from Helix. A few months ago, 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: I shared that my husband and I have been searching 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: for our perfect mattress to no avail when serendipity afforded 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: us opportunity to try a Helix mattress. Well, it's been 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: about three months now and I am still loving the 6 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: sleep that I'm getting on this mattress. The thing I 7 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: loved most about the ordering process was that we were 8 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: able to take a two minute quiz that matched our 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: body type and sleep preference to the perfect mattress for us. 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,319 Speaker 1: Ordering was very easy and delivery was super fast. If 11 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: you're looking for an upgrade to the way you sleep, 12 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: I definitely encourage you to check out Helix for a 13 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: mattress ship straight to your door with free no contact delivery, 14 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: completely free returns, and a one nights sleep trial. And 15 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: just for y'all, Helix is offering up to two hundred 16 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows at 17 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: Helix sleep dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls. Just 18 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: go to Helix Sleep dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls, 19 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you 20 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: to a customized mattress that will give you the best 21 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: sleep of your life. Now let's get into the showy. 22 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, a weekly 23 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small 24 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions 25 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, 26 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or 27 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website 28 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope 29 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it 30 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for reallyationship with 31 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:11,799 Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much 32 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: for joining me for session one sixty three of the 33 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls podcasts. We're officially at the halfway 34 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: point in the year. In July is always an important 35 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: time as it's the month that has been coined Minority 36 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: Mental Health Awareness Month. Now, of course, this is our 37 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,119 Speaker 1: focus year round, but given what this year has been 38 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,920 Speaker 1: and the likelihood of what it will continue to be, 39 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: it feels like an important time for us to dial 40 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: into some of the basics, some of the foundational things 41 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: to taking good care of our mental health. So that's 42 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: what I want to share today for priorities for your 43 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: mental health for the rest of the first is self compassion. 44 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: As there continues to be demands made on our time 45 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: and energy, and as we continue to have to make 46 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: difficult decisions about work, parenting, our health, it's important to 47 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: be gentle with ourselves and to remember that we're all 48 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 1: just doing the very best that we can. It's not 49 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: uncommon that when anxiety is high, we're more critical of ourselves, 50 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: so consider this your reminder to slow down and give 51 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: yourself some grace. One exercise they can be helpful when 52 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: you find yourself being overly critical of yourself or dealing 53 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: with a very difficult situation, is to write a letter 54 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: addressing what you'd say to a friend who were struggling 55 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: with a similar situation. What kinds of questions would you 56 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: ask them about what's happening, What would you want them 57 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: to make sure they considered, what tone would you use 58 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: with them? And then practice using those things with yourself. 59 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: The second thing I want you to prioritize for the 60 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:05,559 Speaker 1: rest of this year is further developing your resilience. Resilience 61 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: is our ability to bounce back from difficult situations. Now, 62 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: please hear me when I say resilience does not mean 63 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: that you do not feel and process the weight of 64 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: whatever the situation is. It means that once that work 65 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: has been done, this is how you rebound and get 66 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: back on track. In many ways, self compassion is an 67 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: important skill in building our resilience, and some other things 68 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: that are important are making sure that we have healthy 69 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: ways of managing stress and strain, and an ability to 70 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: accept that difficult things may happen in our lives, but 71 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:48,720 Speaker 1: they don't have to define our lives. Resilience also requires 72 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: us being flexible with ourselves and with situations. Getting caught 73 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: up and believing there's only one correct answer or one 74 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: way to do anything is misguided and can add additional 75 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: stress to our lives. A good book that might be 76 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: helpful for you related to building resilience is Renee Brown's 77 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: Rising Strong. The third task I want you to prioritize 78 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: in the interests of your mental health for the rest 79 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: of this year is making space for rest. I don't 80 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: know about you, but because I haven't really been leaving 81 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: my house, I think I had it in my mind 82 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: that I wasn't expending as much energy as I was 83 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 1: before March ten. But I had to stop and have 84 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: a serious conversation with myself, and I'd encourage you to 85 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: do the same and really look at just how much 86 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: is going on in your life. Like many of you, 87 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: I've had tons of Zoom calls, multiple presentations, anxiety about 88 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: my health and that of my loved ones, anger at 89 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: the way my brothers and sisters continue to be treated, 90 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 1: facilitating some kind of educational experience when my is staying 91 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: connected to my circles and deciding yet again what we're 92 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: eating for dinner. When I tell you I had to 93 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: just set myself down and do some serious examination about 94 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: what was happening, I'm serious. I'm sharing this in the 95 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: hopes that you come to this conclusion sooner than I did, 96 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: and make sure that you're also making time to engage 97 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: in intentional and restorative rest. Yes, this means doing your 98 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: absolute best to get six to eight hours of sleep 99 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: at night, but it also means not saying yes to 100 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: all of the things, telling your girls you won't be 101 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,239 Speaker 1: available for the Zoom game night this week, and being 102 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: okay with perhaps having sandwiches for the third night this week. 103 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: For many of us, the business of life pre COVID 104 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: has not resumed, but there are still multiple demands being 105 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: made on our time and energy, and to meet these 106 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: demands we must be rest it. And finally, the fourth 107 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: thing I want you to prioritize this year is joy. 108 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: Of course hasn't looked anything like we expected, and lots 109 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: of things have been horrible, but in the midst of it, 110 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: there have also been some pretty awesome things. Don't forget 111 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: to center those things too. Celebrate the small and large 112 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: things that have happened to you and those in your life. 113 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: Make time to laugh at silly videos, send yourself flowers, 114 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: dance to your favorite songs, watch the shows that you're 115 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: embarrassed to talk about publicly. All of those things are 116 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: important too. Something that might help with this practice is 117 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: gratitude journaling. Writing down two to three things every morning 118 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: or evening that you're grateful for can help you to 119 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: tap into this on a regular basis, which can sometimes 120 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: give us a much needed perspective. So I'm curious where 121 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: are you going to start focusing your energy for the 122 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: rest of this year? Tell me on social media using 123 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: the hashtag tbg in session, which priority resonates most with 124 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: you right now and feels like it needs a little 125 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: bit of your attention. You can share it on Twitter 126 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: or in your I G stories, and don't forget to 127 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: share this episode with the other sisters in your circles. 128 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: If you're looking for a therapist, be sure to check 129 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 1: out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot 130 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging 131 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: into this topic or need a virtual space to just 132 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: hang out with some mother sisters, come on over and 133 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: join us in the Yellow Couch Collective, where we take 134 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 1: a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast and 135 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: just about everything else. You can join us at Therapy 136 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: for Black Girls, com slash y c C. Thank you 137 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: all so much for joining me again this week. I 138 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. 139 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 1: Take good care.