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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast phone,

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Speaker 1: Elvis represents, So what could possibly happen in the next

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes? We have no clue. We don't even know

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Speaker 1: why we're here. Why are we here? Hi? Danielle, Danielle's here,

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Speaker 1: And there's Garrett, there's a Dave Rodie. Hello, there's a

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Speaker 1: scary how's it going? And there's a straight name in me,

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Speaker 1: your host, Elvis dur Red. I'm here to said Bethany,

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Speaker 1: Bethany whatever. You're just mad because I write down quotes

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Speaker 1: you say. So, you know, ever since Bethany started working here,

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Speaker 1: what three years ago? Was it three or four years ago?

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Speaker 1: How long? Four and a half four August two thousand twelve. Okay,

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Speaker 1: every time something is said in the room and she

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Speaker 1: feels like it could come back and help her out

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Speaker 1: in a court of law one day or whatever, she

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Speaker 1: writes it down. And so what did you write today?

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Speaker 1: She she always what do you call this file on

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Speaker 1: your phone? It's called conversations that I can't tweet. I

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Speaker 1: can't even say this because you're not gonna like it. Well,

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Speaker 1: maybe you shouldn't do it on the show. Can I

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Speaker 1: read me? I read it? The last one. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: just like a diary or something like an ongoing journal,

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Speaker 1: I can say what this is? What did I say? Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's what I said? While high on cold medicine. He said, hello, lady,

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Speaker 1: have you ever ordered from maple? Why are you all

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Speaker 1: being so obnoxious? Why can't you all be quiet? Hello?

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Speaker 1: Then he kicked. Then he said we had to sit

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Speaker 1: a golden nugget yesterday, would wait for our helicopter to arrive,

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Speaker 1: and then he left. These are things he does. Are

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Speaker 1: you reading from the Elvis file? Things I say? But

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Speaker 1: you can't tweet. These are never on the air. Right,

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Speaker 1: It's okay, you said, I said, I wonder if the

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Speaker 1: restaurant Charlie Bird delivers to my house, and said, hello,

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Speaker 1: they don't deliver to bitches. You have the first one ever, um,

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Speaker 1: the very first one, and give a date. I don't

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Speaker 1: have a date. It doesn't date it. You call you

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Speaker 1: call me a horrible thing in here. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you want me to say it. Most of these cannot

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Speaker 1: be tweeted. Yeah, this one. So every day our producer

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Speaker 1: Ronnie comes in and brings you a stack of commercials.

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Speaker 1: You have to write such a foul mood and you

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Speaker 1: hate it. So this is when you looked at the

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Speaker 1: stack of commercials you had to read and you said, oh,

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Speaker 1: fuck me. And then Ronnie said, that's everything you didn't

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Speaker 1: do yesterday when you wanted me to fuck you. Then

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Speaker 1: that's the stuff I can read. I got a question,

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Speaker 1: is this some kind of catharsis? By writing it down,

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Speaker 1: you feel like it's a way of getting it out.

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Speaker 1: What's the point? I always write down conversations I think

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Speaker 1: are really funny. I always have. When I worked at

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Speaker 1: a bank, I kept an entire like notebook of conversations

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Speaker 1: that were funny. I always do it stuff behind the scenes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I always doing. Then you miss placed two million dollars.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember. I should text my friend Dave and

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Speaker 1: see if he remembers. So both Nate and I are

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Speaker 1: on code cold medicine today we're allergy medicine. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: it's just it has us just it doesn't on another planet.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like this is real. I know this

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Speaker 1: is I don't if I woke up, it would not

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Speaker 1: surprise me that this was all a dream. Like, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel like I did anything. Kind of hazy. Everything's

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Speaker 1: kind of hazy and it's presenting differently in both of you.

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Speaker 1: Like Elvis, You're you're punchy, You're like everything's funny, and

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Speaker 1: you're walking around a lot and you're talking really quickly

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Speaker 1: and you're kicking your legs. And then Nate, everything is

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Speaker 1: funny to you, like you got the giggles for a

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Speaker 1: good period of time. Remember one time Nate was out

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Speaker 1: of my house along with Dennis, our friend Dennis Lydia,

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Speaker 1: and the three of us we had stoned in the

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Speaker 1: swimming pool and it looked over Sorry you okay, Nate says,

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Speaker 1: I've never done this before. I've never done wet and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, when you shouldn't be doing

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Speaker 1: it for the first time in my house, you could

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Speaker 1: have an murgic reaction and pool I thought, I've never

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Speaker 1: done this before, referred to the fact he was in

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Speaker 1: a pool naked with two other men. But he wasn't naked,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't my What was I wearing, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but we have I was wearing my dazzle shorts. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I remember that because I had never done it before,

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Speaker 1: I had this weird feeling and I remember staring into

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Speaker 1: a mirror for what seemed like five seconds, but I'm

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Speaker 1: pretty sure it was like thirty minutes. Here. I looked

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Speaker 1: at Dennis, said, where's Nate. He said, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I thought you had him as I don't know. We

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Speaker 1: went up to we went upstairs to his bedroom and

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Speaker 1: he was in his bathroom staring in the mirror. Are

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Speaker 1: you okay? It was such a weird feeling. And then

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Speaker 1: you took me, like, let's get you something to eat.

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Speaker 1: So you got pie. I remember because we had stopped

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Speaker 1: at a roadside, this weird story roadside pie stand, and

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Speaker 1: we got pies, and you gave each an entire pie.

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Speaker 1: So we go out to the front porch and bear

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Speaker 1: in mind it's midnight, so it's pitch dark. And then

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Speaker 1: you said, let's walk around on the grass. Take your

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Speaker 1: shoes off. I have this really soft grass, and I did,

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Speaker 1: and it was weird. It was. It was very interesting

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Speaker 1: walking around with those shoes on in this grass, eating

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Speaker 1: pie out of the tin with my hands. Because I

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Speaker 1: think at that point I had lost We were stone,

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Speaker 1: We're out of our mind. Yeah, you guys should all

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Speaker 1: come over and we have so much fun at my house.

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Speaker 1: The grass is food food. It was the grass is soft.

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Speaker 1: It's very soft grass. It was very soft grass. What

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Speaker 1: were you seeing when you looked in the mirror? Do

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Speaker 1: you think for so long? That was not a bad experience.

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Speaker 1: I have had bad experience. Talk about that girl? Can

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Speaker 1: you talk about that girl you were with? Listen to

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Speaker 1: the story. It's very creepy. All right, I have to

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Speaker 1: say it now, Okay, okay. So I went out with

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Speaker 1: this girl. It was a bumbled eight. It went fine,

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Speaker 1: and then she said, hey, do you want to smoke

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Speaker 1: the stuff whatever you call it? Pot pot? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a pot hit. I don't know. So we

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Speaker 1: go would you like to smoke out of my marijuana pipe?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what. So we go back to my

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Speaker 1: place and I'm like, yeah, you go for it. I'll

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Speaker 1: be fine. I'm fine. I don't need to do this. Coma. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: very funny. So we go to my bedroom and we're

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Speaker 1: smoking because I had the most airflow, and I'm like, fine,

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Speaker 1: I'll do one hit. And I do one hit and

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Speaker 1: the next thing I know, I'm laying on my back

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Speaker 1: because the room is spinning and I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: sinking into the bed and like the walls are coming

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Speaker 1: in it was a bad reaction. And then I look

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Speaker 1: at this girl and she's speaking and her face starts

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Speaker 1: to turn into my grandmother's and she passed away three

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Speaker 1: and a half years ago. So I'm freaking out, thinking

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Speaker 1: my grandmother is standing there and thinking I've been on

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Speaker 1: a date all night with my dead grandmother. And then

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Speaker 1: I guess this is what paranoia is. She starts telling

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Speaker 1: me stuff and I don't believe her, and I think

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Speaker 1: she's going to steal all of my thing. So I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to secure my belongings. But

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Speaker 1: I can't leave the bed because you're paralyzed. Because I'm paralyzed,

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Speaker 1: and I'm I'm physically I don't know if I did.

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Speaker 1: I know I didn't, but I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: sinking through the mattress and I couldn't move, and one

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Speaker 1: she's talking and smoking. Still I can't move, and so

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Speaker 1: it's like like you're smoking angel dust. Know I think

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Speaker 1: something was it. I don't know there was something in it,

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Speaker 1: so that regular pot shouldn't do that. So nothing ended

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Speaker 1: up happening with this girl, but you know that I

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Speaker 1: know of. But at one point I remember saying, you

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Speaker 1: need to go to bed with me now because I

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Speaker 1: couldn't move and I didn't. I didn't, I didn't sleep.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't sleep like you need to come sleep now? Because

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do anything else that sounds like salvia. That

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Speaker 1: does not sound like it was. I was allf you

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Speaker 1: should always I haven't done it. That's the two times

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Speaker 1: in the last thirty seven years I've done this. So

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Speaker 1: my smoking experience is more fun. I'd smoke with you

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Speaker 1: any day. That's a hell of a story to come

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Speaker 1: up with just because you couldn't get it up. No, no,

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Speaker 1: I tell that story. And by the way, I didn't

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Speaker 1: know that. I was just kidding. I told you stuff

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Speaker 1: you have? Yes, why you should? Okay, I'm being real. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've had Okay. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say get it. Can we edit this?

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Speaker 1: But we're not gonna edit this. There's no editing on

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Speaker 1: the fifteen minute more. Can somebody else tell their weed story?

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Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable right And he couldn't get it. No, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know. Did you notice the girl that he was

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Speaker 1: in bed with or trying to get in bed with Grandma?

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Speaker 1: When he started hallucinating, it looked like his grandmother. Probably

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Speaker 1: not a stretch from what you actually looked like it was. Alright,

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Speaker 1: we're telling we're drug stories. You've had a battery, somebody

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Speaker 1: else say something that a rectile dysfunction is common. There's

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Speaker 1: plenty of pills you can do. Yeah, it's nothing to

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Speaker 1: be ashamed. I've I don't I've smoked pot. I don't

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Speaker 1: like it. I don't like how No, I don't like

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Speaker 1: how I am on it. I'm I talk a lot

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Speaker 1: when I'm on it, like I get chatty, but nothing

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Speaker 1: I say is of any value whatsoever. And I I

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Speaker 1: just can't stop talking. It's terrible. Then we know not

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Speaker 1: to give it to not want me. It's just I

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Speaker 1: don't like how I feel. I just feel Garrett Garrett,

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Speaker 1: people think he's done all the time. Time. I've only

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Speaker 1: how you are. I've only had a pot via second hand.

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Speaker 1: So the first Yeah, So I was at a Coldplay

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Speaker 1: show at P and C Bank Art Center in Jersey

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Speaker 1: and we're out on the lawn because that's all the

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Speaker 1: tickets we could afford with, sit out on the lawn,

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Speaker 1: very cheap seats. So starry night. First time I'm really

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Speaker 1: smelling pot, Like in high school, the stars seem like

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Speaker 1: they were about to fall on me because as they

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Speaker 1: were so large, even though they were so far away.

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Speaker 1: But this the amount of pot that was going around,

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Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, and the total contact time contact

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Speaker 1: tied beyond belief. But that's the closest I've ever come.

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Speaker 1: Ever since then, I've always been accused. I've always been asked,

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Speaker 1: people think you're a pothead. I don't know. Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: it's it's because I'm very mellow. I don't show a

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Speaker 1: lot of emotion in the sense of like you know

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Speaker 1: that's bad for you, or you know I got some

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Speaker 1: for you, and I don't. I guess I dress apart.

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Speaker 1: I'm typecast and like a stoner. What do you think

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Speaker 1: he's If you didn't know Garrett Daniel, would you think

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Speaker 1: he's a stoner? Yeah? Here's the other thing. So my

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Speaker 1: shoes these are palm trees. But everyone that comes up

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Speaker 1: to me and goes, hey, why do you have weed

200
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Speaker 1: on your shoes? These are palm trees? But cool? I

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Speaker 1: love weed shoes, right, But so I guess I'm typecasted

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Speaker 1: as a pot it. Like Brody even never smoked pot,

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Speaker 1: I can tell have you smoked? Scary and el was

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Speaker 1: his apartment. Actually, tell that story. Tells story. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's gonna be legal in ten years.

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Speaker 1: Tell your story. He was when I first met him.

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Speaker 1: I was one of the first times I even tried pot.

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Speaker 1: Was in his apartment and it was just going around.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll take some of that, and I was

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Speaker 1: high as fuck. Yeah, well I don't. I don't prefer it.

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Speaker 1: Though he has an exhaled still able to get in direction,

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Speaker 1: Like seriously, I like, you know, I will say this stuff.

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Speaker 1: I prefer the gummies because when I went to a

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Speaker 1: dispensary in Denver because they're totally legal, I loved. I

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Speaker 1: loved the feel of It's a different kind of high

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Speaker 1: you got. I don't like smoking it necessarily, but I

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Speaker 1: do like the gummies. What's the difference? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: what you ingested? I don't know why you look at it.

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Speaker 1: I think that the expert do you you get it?

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Speaker 1: I think you do get a different high on with

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Speaker 1: edibles and you smoking. Anyway, What else you wanna talk about?

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Speaker 1: We have like three minutes left to talk about anything

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Speaker 1: except for drugs or erectile dysfunction. I need making get

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Speaker 1: it up now like, this is bullshit. Don't don't answer

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Speaker 1: his question. You're punishing the guy's name or not that well,

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Speaker 1: he turn his own name. We're good. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to worry about an direction lasting more than four hours.

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Speaker 1: If it does, If it does the grandma, he's with it,

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Speaker 1: not gonna be over to handle it. Take a take

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Speaker 1: a lip match, blow it out, press it, press it

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Speaker 1: against your penis? Are you stone year old virgin? When

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Speaker 1: he gets an direction and he can't get it in

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Speaker 1: the hotine? Okay? I thought you were just like, this

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Speaker 1: is the worst. Fifteen minute? Time is left? Too much?

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Speaker 1: Can we tap out early? No? It's fifteen minutes? Well

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Speaker 1: how much times left? Like two minutes? Don't you hate

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Speaker 1: when you can't finish something like a podcast? Or say,

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Speaker 1: I become the scary of this show. You're allowing to

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Speaker 1: rag on him all the time, and I'm a murderer.

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Speaker 1: I like old lay ease, we haven't murder. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: you would make you like old ladies. It's fine, there's

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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. But you make fun of me

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Speaker 1: all the time. I was making fun of you all

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Speaker 1: the time. A constipation I told me? Forgot about the

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Speaker 1: constillation thing? See. I used to do that to scary.

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Speaker 1: I become the scary of this. I was told they

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Speaker 1: always tease the ones they love, so they love you

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Speaker 1: the most. I was going to tell you to loosen up, Nate,

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Speaker 1: but you're finally getting stiff, so I don't want to

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Speaker 1: ruin it. Oh my god, the funny Brodie has a

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Speaker 1: file of a rectile dysfunction jokes in his phone, and

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Speaker 1: we just not talk about this anymore. I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to change something, but you keep bringing it back. Keep

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Speaker 1: bringing it back, seriously, keep bringing it up. You got

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you just gotta go with the blood flow. I

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Speaker 1: got three more. How much time do you have? You

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Speaker 1: have enough? Go? You see, you didn't have to make

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Speaker 1: a big deal out of it, and no one would know.

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Speaker 1: But now we know you have a problem. But he does.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he does. That's that's I think there's

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Speaker 1: something there because I hard on you. Wow, the E

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Speaker 1: D does not stand for Elvis Durant. There there is.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's a problem, But all I'm saying

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Speaker 1: is that you're making it a problem. I may have

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Speaker 1: had an issue once everybody does. Now there's going to

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Speaker 1: be speculation I might as well clear the air about

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Speaker 1: you're the one who said it and an issue one

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Speaker 1: time with somebody I liked, and I told Elvis and

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Speaker 1: I thought he was talking about it when I wasn't

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Speaker 1: talking about that. That's my point. It was just a joke,

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Speaker 1: and now you turned it into something real. You you

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Speaker 1: did it. I didn't do it. I was clarifying because

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Speaker 1: now he's just gonna limp on out of here. There

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Speaker 1: it is. Are you done? Are you done? You have?

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Speaker 1: The music is about to start playing. Hold on, there is,

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Speaker 1: thank god, any party anyway going upstate this week into

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Speaker 1: like plasid, like plaid. I'm sorry. Fifteen minute Morning show

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Speaker 1: m