1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army and normal folks, 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:12,880 Speaker 1: and this is Shop Talk number twelve. Today we're going 3 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: to talk about a very simple five letter word. It's 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: called grace. And it's because I think we could all 5 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: certainly use more of it, but maybe even more importantly, 6 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: we all give more of it. Shop Talk number twelve, 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: it's on grace. Right after these brief messages from our 8 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: gender sponsors. Okay, everybody, Shop Talk number twelve. We're talking grace. 9 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: Interesting word, grace. It's odd that when I think of 10 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: the word grace and then more contemporary terms, I think 11 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: about my grain mother, Janas Schubert Graham was beautiful. She 12 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 1: grew up and the Great Depression. Married my grandfather during 13 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: World War Two when he was a pilot, and after 14 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 1: the war ended, they moved to Memphis. My grandmother went 15 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: about raising a family, well, my grandfather went about working. 16 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: Graham was actually a model. Goldsmiths was the Mid South's 17 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: premiere retail store for clothes and furniture and things like that, 18 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: later bought by Macy's currently is still a Macy's a Memphis. 19 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: But she actually modeled clothing for Goldsmiths. She was just beautiful. 20 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: And she had a lot of grace with the way 21 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: she carried herself. Additionally, she was graceful in the way 22 00:01:53,760 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: she interacted with people. She was always so welcoming, and 23 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: even when tough times hit, she never pouted. She didn't whine. 24 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: She just handled tough things with dignity and her head up. 25 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,399 Speaker 1: And I you know, a lot of her in her generation. 26 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: I think, who grew up in the Great Depression and 27 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: then went through World War Two. I just wonder if 28 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: maybe they grew to appreciate good times better than some 29 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: of us because of the way they came up. But nonetheless, 30 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: she's so graceful in the way she handled difficult times. 31 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: The last six days of her life, I sat at 32 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: the kitchen table with her. I went to visit her 33 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: after work every day, and I sat at the kitchen 34 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: table with her, and gosh, we shared so many stories, 35 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: and I was just trying to soak up all the 36 00:02:55,440 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: old family stories because our matriarch was leaving us and 37 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: she had lung cancer, never smoked, but was dying of cancer. 38 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: And I'll never forget how she handled death was such grace, 39 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: And then she passed gracefully. Graham was a special woman. 40 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: Taught me a lot, was always there for me, regardless 41 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: of what I was going through, And I was just 42 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: so proud to be her grandson because of the grace 43 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: that she handled herself with. But maybe the most important 44 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: thing about grace is what she once said to me 45 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: before she passed, and it was when we were talking 46 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: about my father, and I was still at that time 47 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: struggling with why my father left when I was four 48 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: and really had nothing to do with me or anything 49 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: wanted to do with me, And how you know that 50 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: affected not only me as a father, It affected father's day, 51 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: It affected all kinds of things. It was a piece 52 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: of trauma that as a young man I really had 53 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: had a hard time reconciling. But as she was dying, 54 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: this is my maternal grandmother, not my father's mother. My 55 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: maternal grandmother, who also dealt with a lot of what 56 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 1: my father leaving her daughter and her daughter's son me. 57 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: She dealt with a lot of the fallout from that 58 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 1: too in her own life and on her deathbed, not 59 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: her deathbed, that's being too dramatic. During that last week 60 00:04:55,960 --> 00:05:00,159 Speaker 1: we visited, one of the conversations we had was that 61 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: she wanted to know I'd forgiven my father, which was 62 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: just weird, but she did. And I told her I 63 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: didn't I really didn't know how, but that I was trying. 64 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 1: And she looked at me with this stern, grandmother but 65 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: loving look and said, what do you mean you don't 66 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: know how? Of course you do, And she said don't 67 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: you say your prayers at night? And I said, yes, ma'am, 68 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: I say my prayers at night. And she said, don't 69 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: you ask God to forgive you for your transgressions? And 70 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 1: I said, yes, ma'am, of course, of course I do. 71 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: In fact, the truth is, I don't even know how. 72 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: I I don't even know how it'd face each morning 73 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,359 Speaker 1: if I had not laid off at the feet of 74 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: my redeemer the things that I'd done the previous day 75 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: that I was so wrong about. So yeah, yeah, Graham, 76 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: I asked for forgiveness, and I do say my prayers. 77 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: And she says, well, then, how do you not understand 78 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: how to forgive your father? And I paused and she said, Billy, 79 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: which I was always billy to. Graham said, Billy, what 80 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 1: kind of hypocrite are you? If you expect and accept 81 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: forgiveness and grace from the Creator and ruler of our 82 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: universe and then aren't in turn willing to offer it 83 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: and granted to another failed human being. Graham was graceful 84 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: and the way she carried herself. Graham was graceful in 85 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: the way she handled tough times, and dignified and graceful 86 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: even in death. But the most important thing about Graham 87 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: was her understanding of grace and what she taught her 88 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,359 Speaker 1: grandson even as a grown man, and even as she 89 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: was passing from this world. What kind of hypocrite would 90 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: I be if I expect and accept forgiveness for the 91 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: things I do wrong, but them am not in turn 92 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: willing to grant that same grace and forgiveness to people 93 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: who've wronged me. What a phenomenal question, What a phenomenal 94 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: awaking of grace. So I'm going to ask you today 95 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: and shop talk who's wrong to you? Have you forgiven them? 96 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: When you do wrong? When you do something you wish 97 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: you hadn't and you say I'm sorry. Isn't the power 98 00:07:50,400 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: of another person's forgiveness of you freeing and uplifting and 99 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 1: so meaningful? And when you have the power to forgive 100 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:14,239 Speaker 1: somebody and give them that that same that same level 101 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: of love and acceptance. Isn't it paramount on us that 102 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: when we need and want forgiveness in our own lives 103 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: to also granted to people who've wronged us. Is there 104 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: somebody out there that's wrong to you that you hadn't 105 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: gotten over with yet? Have you thought about your position 106 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: in that particular relationship and really the requirement that you 107 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: have to give grace in order to accept it. The 108 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: last thing I learned about grace from Graham really after 109 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: she died, was how important it is for the forgiver. 110 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: And I would even argue that grace may be more 111 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: important for the forgiver than the forgiven, because see, when 112 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: you don't forgive somebody and you don't offer grace, that 113 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: means you harbor ill will. That means you lock up 114 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: inside of you anger and frustration and hurt that really 115 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: eats at you from the inside. But once you offer 116 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: forgiveness and you demonstrate grace, all of that stuff inside 117 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: of you it's allowed to dissipate and go away. And 118 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: when it goes away, you, just like the person you 119 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: have forgiven, are in fact redeemed. So I also learned 120 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: from my very graceful grandmother that grace is a two 121 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 1: way street. It works just as importantly for forgiver as 122 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: it does the forgiven. So as you go about your week, 123 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: and you go about your weekend, and you go about 124 00:09:56,120 --> 00:10:01,199 Speaker 1: your lives, I hope you'll think about being graceful dignified 125 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 1: in the way you carry yourself, graceful, dignified, and the 126 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: way you handle your troubles and the things that face you, 127 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: just like my grandmother, just like Graham. But I hope 128 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: most importantly you'll be graceful in the way you handle 129 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: your own transgressions and those who have transgressed against you. 130 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: Don't harbor ill will, don't harbor all that anger and 131 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,719 Speaker 1: frustration in you. It just eats you up from the inside. 132 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: And understand that grace has a place in both the 133 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: forgiver and the forgiven's life. And wherever you are in 134 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: that spectrum, use grace and have a fuller life. That's 135 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: Shop Talk number twelve. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you 136 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: next week.