Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin
Speaker 1: de Grab and I Hear Radio podcast. Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like
Speaker 1: and on this episode we are going to dive into
Speaker 1: one of my favorite favorite words and topics, happiness, happiness.
Speaker 1: What is happiness? How do we achieve happiness? What is
Speaker 1: happiness to me? What is happiness to you? Can we
Speaker 1: find a state of happiness in the current conditions? So
Speaker 1: happiness is the term and the word and the topic
Speaker 1: of discussion today. And riding Shotgun as my co host.
Speaker 1: Today we have a very very special co host. He
Speaker 1: is an actor, a filmmaker, a humanitarian and entrepreneur. He's
Speaker 1: also a loving husband and father. Ruby Patel, Welcome to
Speaker 1: How Men Think. Wow, what an intro. Good night, buddy,
Speaker 1: Let's go. Yeah, let's go. But I like I I
Speaker 1: wish our viewers and see what or see what I'm
Speaker 1: seeing because we're doing this via zoom call, which I'd
Speaker 1: rather do it in studio, but obviously given the conditions.
Speaker 1: But you just have a glowing smile. You have a
Speaker 1: glowing smile. You have a glowing smile and happy eyes.
Speaker 1: Happy eyes are a big proponent opponent of happiness, and
Speaker 1: so I noticed that right when you jumped on the call.
Speaker 1: I'm getting it from you, man, I have I'm I'm
Speaker 1: very sensitive to two people who have good vibes. And
Speaker 1: I apologize to our listeners for saying the phrase good vibes,
Speaker 1: but that is what I got from you when I
Speaker 1: saw you, dude, I said good vibes. And text messages
Speaker 1: all the time. I said good vibes, and the the
Speaker 1: emoji of the guy with the sunglasses and that's that's
Speaker 1: too much, too much, feel it back. Um, So I
Speaker 1: want to dive into the discussion. One, because you're you're
Speaker 1: such an accomplished and talented person. There's there's professional happiness,
Speaker 1: but I love having you on because you're also a
Speaker 1: father and so and a husband and so there's personal happiness.
Speaker 1: And so I to dive into that. What the balance
Speaker 1: of professional happiness personal happiness? Uh? Do they correlate? Are
Speaker 1: they integrated? How does that show up in your life?
Speaker 1: And and and also that just what you did with the show,
Speaker 1: which we'll talk about on this as well as the
Speaker 1: Robbie Patel's Pursuit of Happiness, which is on HBO Max,
Speaker 1: where you travel around the world to find these different
Speaker 1: definitions of happiness and how it shows up in different countries. Um.
Speaker 1: But I want to start with one question to you,
Speaker 1: and it's very vague in general, but it's a really
Speaker 1: important question, and it's something I enjoy asking people because
Speaker 1: I enjoy seeing which way they take it. What is
Speaker 1: your definition of happiness? Mm hmm. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: it's trying to find a way to make each day
Speaker 1: in the present as fun as possible, which means, you know,
Speaker 1: laughing with the people you love the most. Uh, finding
Speaker 1: a way to put smiles on each other's faces. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think again, I think cord of that is
Speaker 1: making sure you're giving to the people who give you
Speaker 1: the most, the people you love the most, focusing on
Speaker 1: the relationships that matter, and just I mean, I'm a
Speaker 1: I'm a sucker for bonding. I love. I love my dudes,
Speaker 1: I love my wife, I love my kids, A love
Speaker 1: my dog. Um, and I love trying to love better.
Speaker 1: I mean it's cheesy, but I just think it's so fun.
Speaker 1: I love it, Dude. I want I want to like
Speaker 1: get that and loop that and just put that just
Speaker 1: for people to listen to. Because in what I love
Speaker 1: about that. I love a couple of things. One the
Speaker 1: words that you use first, you said fun, fun and
Speaker 1: love and the people closest to you. And in my
Speaker 1: own journey in two words, I had two words that
Speaker 1: I really want to focus on, or wanted to focus on,
Speaker 1: was laughter and love. And you said, how you can
Speaker 1: be how you can be present and the most fun
Speaker 1: with the people that you love today, not waiting for
Speaker 1: tomorrow or planning a trip three months from now, like
Speaker 1: today in this room. And so laughter and love were
Speaker 1: two of the things that I focused on the most
Speaker 1: in and having those top of mind has brought me,
Speaker 1: has brought me certainly closer with the people in my life.
Speaker 1: It's also connected me with the people at a deeper,
Speaker 1: more affectionate, more loving, more vulnerable way. UM covid has
Speaker 1: really revealed to me who's really important in my life
Speaker 1: in in ways of like seeking connection with them. So
Speaker 1: um for fun, for fun and love. What's on on
Speaker 1: a daily like something that you will do say with
Speaker 1: your wife or your you said, your homies, or your
Speaker 1: your daughter, Like, what's something that's really fun and really
Speaker 1: love fulfilling that you do on the daily. What what
Speaker 1: do you think that you've done, by the way, just
Speaker 1: really quick just to follow up on what you just said,
Speaker 1: because I think that's beautiful. What are the specific things
Speaker 1: you think you've done too bring all that laughter and
Speaker 1: love into your life. Tried to make moments, tried to,
Speaker 1: as you said early, be present. So, UM, I have
Speaker 1: made space in my life, created and made and preserved
Speaker 1: space in my life for connection. So after after five
Speaker 1: o'clock I started this about eight nine months ago. After
Speaker 1: five o'clock, I am not on my phone, I am
Speaker 1: not on an email, I'm not on my computer. I
Speaker 1: am fully fully immersed in connection. UM. I will do
Speaker 1: I will do almost anything to never eat supper without
Speaker 1: a crew of people around me. Again, awesome. I love
Speaker 1: having people over for supper. UM. Connecting in the evening
Speaker 1: instead of sitting down and watching a show in the evening,
Speaker 1: I'll go to my brother in laws, or I'll go
Speaker 1: to my buddy Corey's and we'll just sit in his
Speaker 1: gradge in his studio, We'll just just anything instead of
Speaker 1: falling into these other little norms and then creating space
Speaker 1: us and just realizing how how important that human connection
Speaker 1: with these people is, how important it is, and then
Speaker 1: trying to make, trying to make moments because moments are memories.
Speaker 1: So we're doing little surprises, doing little surprises, doing little
Speaker 1: practical jokes and pranks, things that take a little time
Speaker 1: to plan. But then but then when you execute them,
Speaker 1: you get such a smile and a moment out of it.
Speaker 1: You get a moment out of it, and you get
Speaker 1: a memory out of it, versus just seeing people and
Speaker 1: not having any memories. Yeah, that's I think that's really
Speaker 1: profound because I mean, if you think about what life
Speaker 1: really is, it's just a series of memories, so you know,
Speaker 1: right ones that you want to talk about or that
Speaker 1: you want to remember. But I think you hit on
Speaker 1: a really big thing which could not be more important,
Speaker 1: in which is creating boundaries for yourself. Because right now,
Speaker 1: there's there's We've never been more distracted than we are today.
Speaker 1: We've never had so much choice, and it's overwhelming, and
Speaker 1: the net result is that we end up not feeling
Speaker 1: control in our data lives, and so we have to
Speaker 1: go out of our way more than ever to create
Speaker 1: boundaries so that we feel some sense of control, so
Speaker 1: that we feel planted in the day. It's something I
Speaker 1: struggled with all the time. But I think, you know,
Speaker 1: starting with just the brass tacks of technology creating boundaries
Speaker 1: around when you use your laptop and when you use
Speaker 1: your phone, that's a huge one. Um. I think that's
Speaker 1: a very big one, because that, to me is the
Speaker 1: beginning of trying to create that space, the same thing
Speaker 1: with like television, Like technology is supposed to be there
Speaker 1: to help us do better with our time, and instead
Speaker 1: we let it take away our time and dominate our time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Another one that I've done is I don't accept any
Speaker 1: I don't have any calls or any work stuff prior
Speaker 1: to one o'clock in the day. So I was a
Speaker 1: professional athlete, you know. So I I've made enough money
Speaker 1: to not have to work the rest of my life,
Speaker 1: and and so I get to I get to choose
Speaker 1: projects that I wish to be a part of because
Speaker 1: of because they light me up, and because of the
Speaker 1: people in them, and because of the impact that they
Speaker 1: can make in the world. So I never set an alarm.
Speaker 1: I never set an alarm because why would I set
Speaker 1: an alarm? Why do I want to be up for
Speaker 1: anything that when I want to wake up when my
Speaker 1: body's rested. So I don't set an alarm, and then
Speaker 1: I don't schedule any sort of calls before one PM
Speaker 1: because I want that morning for fitness, I want to read,
Speaker 1: I want to be active. I just want to be peaceful.
Speaker 1: And then I'll do any sort of creative development or
Speaker 1: project or this podcast in the afternoon between one and
Speaker 1: five pm. That's the block of window that I have.
Speaker 1: Do you know what that's called in the rest of
Speaker 1: the world location privileged mother? No, it's it's It's awesome, bro.
Speaker 1: I think that's so smart. I mean, it's absolutely a
Speaker 1: privilege to even be able to do that. But I
Speaker 1: think it's so um thoughtful of you to make that
Speaker 1: decision to know, like, hey, I'm lucky. I get to
Speaker 1: make some choices with my time, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: choose to make my time mine. Most people don't. Don't.
Speaker 1: Most people are so passive. Most of us are just
Speaker 1: kind of riding the ride, and you wake up months
Speaker 1: to two years later and realize, wait, what just happened?
Speaker 1: Where was I? I think that's awesome, man. And you
Speaker 1: know a lot of that stuff you're doing and stuff
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to do in my own life, it's
Speaker 1: hard as hell. So I want to I want to
Speaker 1: ask you the same question so on the boundaries front,
Speaker 1: because I think you do so much more professionally than
Speaker 1: what I do. You know as an actor, as a filmmaker,
Speaker 1: as executive producer, humanitarian, plus you have the this saves
Speaker 1: lives Like you're an entrepreneur, um, how do you balance
Speaker 1: all of the What are some boundaries in your life
Speaker 1: that um that you set that will protect your happiness
Speaker 1: and not help you be overwhelmed? Because I think being
Speaker 1: overwhelmed is one thing that robs people of happiness totally,
Speaker 1: and I think everyone these days because like we said earlier,
Speaker 1: because we have so much choice, we have so much
Speaker 1: pressure to perform in work and to achieve, achieve, achieve,
Speaker 1: and then in a free time we kind of have
Speaker 1: similar pressures, Like we spend more money than ever on
Speaker 1: food and restaurants because there's so many choices with every
Speaker 1: minute of the day, and then even in a few
Speaker 1: minutes we don't have we're like, oh, I gotta go
Speaker 1: to yoga, I gotta meditate, and you actually pay for
Speaker 1: most of those things. Then you gotta make more money
Speaker 1: to pay for those things. The vicious circle where you
Speaker 1: never feel like you're doing enough and you've never had
Speaker 1: enough money to pay for it, and uh, certainly you
Speaker 1: know when it comes to achievement, all those things you listed,
Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't. We did an entire episode on
Speaker 1: this premise. The fourth episode of the series takes place
Speaker 1: in South Korea with one of my best friends. It's
Speaker 1: guy named Matt Polson who founded a company called oh Maze,
Speaker 1: and he and I both have this kind of work hard,
Speaker 1: play hard mentality in life and a lot of people
Speaker 1: who live in cities have this mentality. And um, you know,
Speaker 1: South Korea as a country is having a crisis of
Speaker 1: workoholism that's leading to high rates of depression and suicide.
Speaker 1: And so so this thing that you're asking is actually
Speaker 1: central to uh, you know, it's it's one of my
Speaker 1: core conflicts in life. And I think it came out of,
Speaker 1: you know, being conditioned or conditioning myself to achieve to
Speaker 1: and being obsessed with achievement and in great part attaching
Speaker 1: my self worth to what I can achieve and like
Speaker 1: all those things you listed, Like I probably get a
Speaker 1: little bit of a dopamine hit when you say those things,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I did that. That's great. I
Speaker 1: mean the same way you probably you know, in order
Speaker 1: to succeed at at what you've done as an athlete,
Speaker 1: you have to be obsessed like you have to. You
Speaker 1: have to, And there's more to it than just loving
Speaker 1: the game. There's there's there's a love of mastery there
Speaker 1: that that you that you and I probably share. There's
Speaker 1: a love of achievement that you and I probably share.
Speaker 1: There's this core thing in our egos that that dances
Speaker 1: with the thing we're doing as well. And I realized
Speaker 1: now as I'm older, I'll look, I'm really proud, and
Speaker 1: I get really excited about doing I'm very curious, and
Speaker 1: I love doing things with people. I love um creating
Speaker 1: experiences that make my life better or make the lives
Speaker 1: of those around me better. But now that I'm a
Speaker 1: father and I'm on the other side of forty, I'm
Speaker 1: starting to also realize none of that is any good
Speaker 1: if like I didn't remember what I did that day
Speaker 1: because I was so busy right in the roller coaster.
Speaker 1: And so now I'm trying to figure out a way
Speaker 1: to balance things out the way you said, and I
Speaker 1: think it has a lot to do with you know,
Speaker 1: especially because of what I do is so purpose driven.
Speaker 1: It's like almost a way of cheating the system where
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, everything I do it's like I'm doing
Speaker 1: it with my friends and family, or it's doing this
Speaker 1: good thing in the world. So it's almost like I
Speaker 1: have a justification to work all the time because my
Speaker 1: work is my life. And now I'm in this new
Speaker 1: phase where it's like, Okay, that's great, but I need
Speaker 1: to carve out more space for myself. The way you
Speaker 1: were just talking about space that has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with achievement. Space that's passive. Uh. Space that's for eating
Speaker 1: ice cream and flipping channels without without a cause, or
Speaker 1: you know, just going for a walk. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: the those are the things I'm starting to prioritize and
Speaker 1: it's it's actually making my work life in a way
Speaker 1: more inspired. There's two things in mind when I hear
Speaker 1: you talk. There's two things in mind. For it's a
Speaker 1: blessing and a curse to be a hyper driven person.
Speaker 1: So for somebody to achieve the things that you have achieved,
Speaker 1: you are a hyper driven person. There is something extraordinary
Speaker 1: about you. You don't get to elevate to your level
Speaker 1: without that. So that being said, that's an amazing blessing
Speaker 1: in your life. It has served you so greatly in
Speaker 1: your life. The flip side of that is if that
Speaker 1: can't be controlled, it's going to consume you and it's
Speaker 1: gonna eat you alive, and that you can never turn
Speaker 1: it off. The other part that I see about you
Speaker 1: is you're so multi talented. You're so multi talented. You
Speaker 1: can act, you can produce, you can direct, you have
Speaker 1: humanitarian you're an entrepreneur, Like there's you can do anything
Speaker 1: because you're so multi talented. So then everything is an option,
Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, say acting is not going on
Speaker 1: right now, Okay, well then it can be an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: I can I have this other thing. So there's always
Speaker 1: gonna be worked for you. Plus, you're a hyper driven person.
Speaker 1: How do you get the balance back and say no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna step back from this because I
Speaker 1: want to eat more ice cream with my daughter. I
Speaker 1: want to Because so many people struggle with that, how
Speaker 1: do you do it well? I think the I think
Speaker 1: the hyper drive comes from is probably rooted. Look, I
Speaker 1: do think there's a lot of reasons that are positive
Speaker 1: as to why I am hyperdriven, Like in terms of
Speaker 1: just a genuine curiosity, a love of of connecting, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. But so there's also a strong part of
Speaker 1: it that's rooted in insecurity and wanting to get people,
Speaker 1: wanting to gain. Whether it's a chip on my shoulder
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to prove to myself or to someone
Speaker 1: around me, I don't know. I haven't done augh therapy
Speaker 1: to figure that out, but there's definitely some chip on
Speaker 1: my shoulder that I think is driving me to do
Speaker 1: all that. Like even when you said all those things
Speaker 1: about me, it's like, oh, like, that's probably the thing
Speaker 1: that I've always wanted people to say about me, that
Speaker 1: I can do all these things. That's probably because because
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, I'm actually not great at any
Speaker 1: one thing, but I am good at a lot of
Speaker 1: different things. And that's probably the muscle that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to flex at all times and and to show that,
Speaker 1: like part of the conceit that I'm part of the
Speaker 1: thing that I'm probably trying to prove to people is
Speaker 1: that I have the stamina of an athlete where I
Speaker 1: can do all these things at the same time, because that,
Speaker 1: to me, is a sport in and of itself. Um,
Speaker 1: and look, it's great, it's really cool. But again, um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying to I'm trying to change a
Speaker 1: lot of that circuitry so that it's a little healthier
Speaker 1: for me. Right now, it's hard, man. Can you can
Speaker 1: you walk me through that process specifically if you can,
Speaker 1: because I'm going through the same thing. I'm experimenting with
Speaker 1: a lot of just a lot of lifestyle optimization experiments
Speaker 1: going on. How long has it been since you've been
Speaker 1: out of hockey. It'll be three years in November, three
Speaker 1: years and I've only recently and probably the last nine
Speaker 1: months to a year, Rubbie found, like found my balance
Speaker 1: of my pursuit, my personal pursuit of happiness. So as
Speaker 1: an athlete, it used to be pursued the Stanley Cup.
Speaker 1: I want to be a champion, the best in the world.
Speaker 1: That's not chasing happiness. That's chasing the result in the
Speaker 1: sport that I was in, And so a lot of
Speaker 1: your happiness takes a back seat. You missed some birthdays,
Speaker 1: you missed some weddings, your training Saturday morning, Sunday morning,
Speaker 1: when your friends were getting together the night before, you're
Speaker 1: not there. You miss out on a lot of happiness
Speaker 1: in pursuit of this goal. Since I've been out of hockey,
Speaker 1: I've discovered, Wow, my pursuit now is happiness. The ultimate
Speaker 1: pursuit in my life is a balance of doing things
Speaker 1: I love with people I love with, also things that
Speaker 1: fulfill me, impacting and serving the world, and balancing all
Speaker 1: of that is the pursuit of happiness. You mean, inner
Speaker 1: growth basically is what you're what you're what you're seeking now,
Speaker 1: and you probably haven't been able to give that any
Speaker 1: attention when you're an athlete. I mean a lot of
Speaker 1: athletes do enjoy their time in sports, but I also
Speaker 1: feel like the way sports have evolved the last fifteen years,
Speaker 1: it's not like like it's not like the way the
Speaker 1: bulls were in the Last Dance, Like it's sports have
Speaker 1: just become so intense and so competitive and so uh
Speaker 1: scientific that that it seems like in order to reach
Speaker 1: the top of that mountain, you need to be always,
Speaker 1: always busting your ass, and I imagine that comes at
Speaker 1: an expense of enjoying the climb. You're always looking towards
Speaker 1: the future and a lot of personal sacrifices. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's gotta be tricky man. I mean that's and I
Speaker 1: also think that's why so many athletes struggle with the
Speaker 1: transition out of sports. Yeah, and it's a it's a
Speaker 1: real thing. And I did too, because, like you said,
Speaker 1: loss of purpose. So you are multi talented. You can
Speaker 1: do many different things. I did one thing. I did
Speaker 1: one thing. I was a mile deep on one thing,
Speaker 1: and then when that thing's gone, now what do you do?
Speaker 1: But I always argue, I would argue that you think
Speaker 1: you're only great at one thing, But the result of
Speaker 1: you being great at that one thing, it came out
Speaker 1: of a skill set that is the hardest to cultivate,
Speaker 1: which is learning to work your ass off to achieve
Speaker 1: something that idea, that mastery. Like, that's something that I
Speaker 1: want to teach my daughter. I want to teach my
Speaker 1: daughter how to be kind and I want to learn
Speaker 1: her I want to teach her mastery the idea of um,
Speaker 1: how hard work can achieve great things and and how
Speaker 1: uh hitting your hitting your face on the pavement can
Speaker 1: be an awesome part of the process to your you know,
Speaker 1: like I want to teach your grit, I want to
Speaker 1: teach your stamina. I want to teach her the courage
Speaker 1: it takes to reach a very high height, and I
Speaker 1: think undeniably you have done that. I think professional athletes,
Speaker 1: actors feel this way as well. People who achieve great
Speaker 1: success and have given career often wrongly feel if I
Speaker 1: didn't do this, what else would I do? The fact
Speaker 1: the matter is you could. You could probably be successful.
Speaker 1: First of all, I would change the definition of success
Speaker 1: to not be the Stanley Cup or anything that's in
Speaker 1: the future. Will change it to did you have a
Speaker 1: good day and are you enjoying the process? Whatever that
Speaker 1: thing you're heading towards. Make sure that that aligns with
Speaker 1: your core values as as a person. Make sure the
Speaker 1: way you're pursuing it day to day is also aligned
Speaker 1: with your core values. UM, so that you're enjoying yourself along. Liy,
Speaker 1: That's exactly it. And I've found that being out of hockey,
Speaker 1: a lot of the characteristics that I developed and were
Speaker 1: present in me to perform in that arena are now
Speaker 1: are now helping me excel in other areas of my life.
Speaker 1: I then, what you just said about the day to
Speaker 1: day thing, this is my golden question and I want
Speaker 1: to I want to pose it to you. Um, this
Speaker 1: is what I asked myself every single day, this is
Speaker 1: the number one question that governs my life and my
Speaker 1: and and thus my happiness. Are my daily actions congruent
Speaker 1: with my life goals? Are my daily actions can grue
Speaker 1: it with my life goals? And when I think about that, first,
Speaker 1: I have to start with my life goal. What's my
Speaker 1: life goal? I want to live in laughter and in love.
Speaker 1: I want to live the happiest life in the imaginable
Speaker 1: to me. So then are my daily actions congruent with
Speaker 1: that life goal? And that's really helped me reshape my
Speaker 1: days um and and build in more connection with loved ones,
Speaker 1: stronger prioritization of relationship. Um. I have zero tolerance for
Speaker 1: doing I don't want to do. I do not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: anyone who's purpose driven success is alert to do right.
Speaker 1: They don't understand Yeah. So but I want I want
Speaker 1: to shape it. I want to pull it back to you. So,
Speaker 1: how how are you currently like looking at your life,
Speaker 1: assessing your life and and prioritizing more happiness and defining
Speaker 1: more happiness in your life? Can I assume that this
Speaker 1: is what the conversations were like in the hockey locker room,
Speaker 1: just just exactly real, deep real deep conversations the hockey
Speaker 1: fans in loving this stuff? Um, how do I do it?
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I mean I feel like it's
Speaker 1: I think just the process of trying, in of itself
Speaker 1: is what begets it. Like there's joy in trying to
Speaker 1: live a better life that the process of pursuing joy
Speaker 1: begets joy. Um. And if you're lucky, you're able to
Speaker 1: harness optimism and you know I do, dude, I'm a
Speaker 1: cheesy dude, Like I have a gratefulness journ. I keep
Speaker 1: you do it. It's the best, right, Three things I'm
Speaker 1: grateful for every day? Three things that I like today? Great?
Speaker 1: You know? Um, you know I have a long ways
Speaker 1: to go on a lot of things we've just discussed.
Speaker 1: But I find that I'm happier when I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: trying to be happier when I'm trying to figure it out. Mhm.
Speaker 1: So what what other like practices would you have in
Speaker 1: the course of your day? Love the gratitude journal. Gratitude
Speaker 1: is amazing, like where gratitude lives. Um. I think fulfillment
Speaker 1: and joy and peace that they all accompany gratitude. Um.
Speaker 1: What other personal practices do you include in your day
Speaker 1: that lead you towards happiness. By the way, for anyone
Speaker 1: who's listening the gratitude journal, I know it sounds lame
Speaker 1: and stupid, but like there's something it does if you
Speaker 1: just do it for a few minutes a day, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I think what it does is it reframes your experience
Speaker 1: in the world because it makes you feel your day
Speaker 1: a little more. It makes you pay attention to these
Speaker 1: kind of like few three or four things that you're
Speaker 1: looking to get out of that day, and your subconsciously
Speaker 1: view the day through the lens of of gratefulness. Um,
Speaker 1: it's really I mean, I've had you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: like the dude in every dude's life. I've sent all
Speaker 1: my friends to therapy, all my guy friends, and I
Speaker 1: make all my dudes do these gratefulness journals when they're
Speaker 1: down and they and they're all are like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like a bros bro so that they're they're they're
Speaker 1: none of them are even even never heard of a
Speaker 1: gratefulness journal. Usually when I asked them to do this
Speaker 1: and then they do it and they're like, it's it's
Speaker 1: actually pretty amazing. We still can't tell anyone that I'm
Speaker 1: doing it, but it's amazing, So I'd say I do that.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I'm actually so I'm very I'm like,
Speaker 1: I actually have a d D. And and so I
Speaker 1: say that to me, I've never been disciplined, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not one of these perfect guys who like wakes up
Speaker 1: at the same time every day. Is like I can
Speaker 1: even just look at you and your physique and the
Speaker 1: way that you speak and see that you're a very
Speaker 1: disciplined person of a discipline approach to life. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: and potentially type A correct and I'm yeah, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get out of that. So I'm the opposite
Speaker 1: of that. Okay, we're we gotta hang out. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a sloppy I'm a sloppy dude, you know, like
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm literally a d D. And so what
Speaker 1: I found with habits and and look, getting like changing
Speaker 1: your habits is one of the hardest things in life.
Speaker 1: Um when it comes to habits with me, I love
Speaker 1: trying new things, and I get really excited about new things.
Speaker 1: And in true a d D sent I'm quite distractable.
Speaker 1: So I might start something, go hard, and then pivot
Speaker 1: to something else. Um. What I've noticed with me when
Speaker 1: it comes to changing my habits is I keep trying,
Speaker 1: and sometimes things stick, sometimes they go away, sometimes I
Speaker 1: have to restart. The only difference between me today and
Speaker 1: me ten years ago is that today I'm not as
Speaker 1: hard on myself when I mess things up, Like I
Speaker 1: used to carry a great shame about not being the
Speaker 1: person that I wanted to be. And now I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what, this is just who I am, and
Speaker 1: and I'm trying my best. I'll keep trying, and uh
Speaker 1: so I say that to me. You know, all these
Speaker 1: habits come and go. I love going on a periodic
Speaker 1: cleanse like dietary clans. I love doing the fasting thing.
Speaker 1: I'm literally about to start a brain cleanse because that's
Speaker 1: my big goal in life now. Is my brain feels foggy,
Speaker 1: my memories horrible, um, and I have a trouble sometimes
Speaker 1: feeling present, and I've decided that's like my number one
Speaker 1: goal in life is to make my brain feel as
Speaker 1: high functioning and clear as possible. And so what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do is because basically it turns out everything contributes
Speaker 1: to brain health. So I'm gonna go on a pretty
Speaker 1: intense clean diet. I'm gonna start meditating. Uh, I'm going
Speaker 1: to I'm gonna go on like a technology cleanse a
Speaker 1: lot of the things that you already sounds like you're doing. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take new tropics things that are like good
Speaker 1: for your brain. Um. Your brain needs he you need
Speaker 1: specific healthy fats for your brain to operate too yet
Speaker 1: threes and uh. One of the things I take is
Speaker 1: the bulletproof brain octane oil. I have that in my
Speaker 1: shake every morning. It's healthy fats for your brain. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've taken it before. Do you like it? I love it?
Speaker 1: I love it. Ye. So I've tried that, and I've
Speaker 1: tried them that Joe Rogan one the alpha brain or
Speaker 1: on it alpha brain, but I couldn't tell the difference
Speaker 1: that I couldn't tell the deers in my brain with
Speaker 1: either one. M Can I add one more thing in
Speaker 1: there for you? I want as many as you got. Um.
Speaker 1: I love this. I'm actually really curious and excited to
Speaker 1: hear to do it with me. I'm sure when you're
Speaker 1: starting when I haven't figured out to day, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to do it with a big group
Speaker 1: of people and I'll probably turn it into like a
Speaker 1: group crowdsource, some sort of media project where I try
Speaker 1: to get a bunch of people to do with me
Speaker 1: and we learned what we can along the way. Maybe
Speaker 1: I turned into an audio documentary something amazing. I love that.
Speaker 1: I even just love that. Please, I even just love
Speaker 1: that that You're gonna pull people in on it with you,
Speaker 1: because I think people are going to jump in on
Speaker 1: that with you. For sure. One thing to be more
Speaker 1: motivated if I know other people are in it. True, Yeah,
Speaker 1: very much. Um have you ever heard of I've talked
Speaker 1: about it here on the show. You ever heard of
Speaker 1: the five factors of health? No? Give it to me.
Speaker 1: So there's a term. Ben burger On kind of coined
Speaker 1: this term, the five factors of health. Um, and health
Speaker 1: leads to our happiness a lot. And it's the old quote.
Speaker 1: He who has his health has a thousand wishes, he
Speaker 1: who doesn't has but one. And so health. So then
Speaker 1: if I'm looking for the best happiness, I'm going to
Speaker 1: prioritize my health. This is me personally, and so here
Speaker 1: are the five factors of health. Um, how how we sleep, eat, move,
Speaker 1: think and connect? So how we sleep, eat, move, think
Speaker 1: and connect? Are kind of the five factors of health.
Speaker 1: Then there's a couple more factors that can that are
Speaker 1: kind of on the outskirts of like genetics. Like genetics
Speaker 1: play a little part in it, but then also the
Speaker 1: atmosphere you live in. Do you live in a really
Speaker 1: smoggy city or do you live up in the Pacific
Speaker 1: Northwest where you're in the mountains and nature everything. So
Speaker 1: there's there's outside factors, but the main ones that we
Speaker 1: can control on the daily are sleep, eat, move, think,
Speaker 1: and connect with people. And so if people look at that,
Speaker 1: people can can find a better route to happiness by
Speaker 1: looking like, right now, people are missing out on connection
Speaker 1: big time. So maybe they're working out, maybe they're sleeping better,
Speaker 1: maybe they're they're moving, or they're thinking positive, but they
Speaker 1: aren't getting connection and so they don't feel happy. But
Speaker 1: the thing that I would love to challenge you with
Speaker 1: when you do this brain thing is sleep. Sleep sleep sleep.
Speaker 1: Rest is a weapon. We would say that in in
Speaker 1: hockey would say rest is a weapon. Let us rest
Speaker 1: because if we rested, like last night, I wear this
Speaker 1: band on my wrist right here. This tracks my sleep
Speaker 1: and last night I got this is the whoop three
Speaker 1: point oh strap whoop three point oh okay. Um, and
Speaker 1: my mental acuity, my mental sharpness is infinitely better when
Speaker 1: I sleep properly. And it's it's the number one factor
Speaker 1: of health that I prioritize in my life. So when
Speaker 1: you're doing your brain experiment, I would encourage you to
Speaker 1: incorporate sleep in it. I love that. Man. Have you
Speaker 1: heard Arianna Huffington's podcast At all I have? But sleep
Speaker 1: is her mission? Yeah. The rest is a weapon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because because if I sleep, if I sleep well, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna wake up with energy. Um, I'm gonna make a
Speaker 1: good conscious nutritional decision on gonna want to move my
Speaker 1: body because I have energy, I'm going to have positive
Speaker 1: mindset and most likely I'm gonna want to be around
Speaker 1: people like if you wake up, if you had a
Speaker 1: tough sleep and then your daughter's goofing off in the morning,
Speaker 1: or like you're like, oh, maybe like babe, what are
Speaker 1: you they're sweetie? What are you doing here? But if
Speaker 1: you're in a great place, you're probably more receptible. Look
Speaker 1: how playful she is. Look, look she's gooping around on
Speaker 1: It can totally reshape our mindset. And also it's not
Speaker 1: just about how much sleep you get, but it's about
Speaker 1: the quality of sleep you get. And there's all these
Speaker 1: things that affect your quality of sleep, such as you know,
Speaker 1: like I was talking to someone about sleep just last
Speaker 1: week and they were like, Okay, what time you go
Speaker 1: to bed? You I'm like that ten thirty. Sometimes I've
Speaker 1: like okay, no caffeine afternoon. Okay, no caffeine afternoon. No
Speaker 1: screens within like three hours of sleeping ideally. Uh, there's
Speaker 1: all these things that affect and going to sleep at
Speaker 1: the exact same time. Ritual and rhythm is actually a
Speaker 1: really big part of sleep as well. Um. None of
Speaker 1: the are part of my life, and none of them
Speaker 1: come naturally to me. I've I've like my whole my
Speaker 1: my operating system for my entire life has been premised
Speaker 1: on uh, imbalanced and spontaneity. Uh and a lack of predictability.
Speaker 1: Routine was actually the enemy. But now that I'm a
Speaker 1: dad and I'm getting a little older, and I'm just
Speaker 1: it's something that I'm really craving for. Behavioral standpoint is
Speaker 1: something that I really you know, I'm trying to incubate
Speaker 1: because right now I'm crushing beer and I'm making I'm
Speaker 1: like making these eggs sandwiches on brioche buns four times
Speaker 1: a week that are incredible. I'm eating ice cream. I'm
Speaker 1: also living an incredible life at this very moment that
Speaker 1: I'm amazing. So that's awesome too. But everything that moderation,
Speaker 1: there's balance, there's balance, like that's happiness, right if you
Speaker 1: want to be that's that's that's also grace. Like I
Speaker 1: loved before how you said you're you're accepting yourself more.
Speaker 1: That's grace versus beating yourself up. I shouldn't drink these beers.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have the this bond. I should be moving
Speaker 1: or a better diet, like allowing yourself because this and
Speaker 1: this is coming from my own uh failure in this
Speaker 1: as I never gave myself any grace as an athlete.
Speaker 1: It was like strict, it was black and white, there
Speaker 1: was no gray, there was no grace. And so I've
Speaker 1: found that more in my life. Dude, I want to
Speaker 1: hear more about uh this mini this little docuseries that
Speaker 1: you have Rebbie Hotel's pursuit of happiness. Can you tell
Speaker 1: us what you saw? I want to get back on
Speaker 1: the happiness train. What you saw around the world your experiences.
Speaker 1: Can you tell our listeners what is the show and
Speaker 1: then give us some stories from the show relating to
Speaker 1: what you found happiness to be throughout the world. So
Speaker 1: in every episode of Pursuit of Happiness, which again is
Speaker 1: on HBO Max right now, UM, I travel with someone
Speaker 1: in my life that I love or admire or both
Speaker 1: and we have some big question about life. And generally speaking,
Speaker 1: we picked big questions that I was already talking about
Speaker 1: in therapy, so stuff that I felt was kind of
Speaker 1: urgent in my life, and it would be that question
Speaker 1: that takes us to an international destination where we got
Speaker 1: to see how a different culture was handling that question.
Speaker 1: So we went to Mexico, my my, my parents, and
Speaker 1: I uh to one of the hottest retirement destinations for expats.
Speaker 1: And that episode was about retirement and aging, and that
Speaker 1: came out of a conversation and therapy. I was talking
Speaker 1: about therapist and saying, Hey, I'm at this age where
Speaker 1: I'm starting to realize, like people's my friends, parents are
Speaker 1: starting to pass away, and I'm starting to feel kind
Speaker 1: of older now, and this idea of mortality is starting
Speaker 1: to settle settle in and I'm wondering how I can
Speaker 1: go about asking the questions about my parents that I
Speaker 1: might be asking after they've passed away. I wish I
Speaker 1: would have asked earlier. And I and also part of
Speaker 1: that came out of just being a father. You know,
Speaker 1: I have a three year old daughter and be one
Speaker 1: of the most one of the most beautiful parts of
Speaker 1: becoming a father is the empathy you get for your
Speaker 1: own parents because you realize, like, like, I look at
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I had this realization, oh, I'm I'm there, baby,
Speaker 1: like I'm there like and and all I want for
Speaker 1: my daughter is to like to have a great life,
Speaker 1: but also I want us to love each other and
Speaker 1: to be each other's lives forever. And and you know,
Speaker 1: Americans have become so individualized in private, and we actually
Speaker 1: live geographically further away from our parents. We don't see
Speaker 1: our families as much as it feels like we should.
Speaker 1: And I feel like our parents generation got kind of
Speaker 1: screwed because I don't think that's what they thought it
Speaker 1: was gonna be like. And I think now, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out a way to to picks
Speaker 1: that because that because because uh, you know, I love
Speaker 1: my parents and I. And by the way, that's a
Speaker 1: big reason why my wife and I are talking about
Speaker 1: moving to these coast is to be close to them. Um.
Speaker 1: So that's that Mexico episode. There's another episode. I went
Speaker 1: to Japan with my wife and that episode is about
Speaker 1: parenting and marriage. Um. Japan known for doing everything, and
Speaker 1: it's in the most innovative ways, especially the way they
Speaker 1: raised their kids, who are incredibly well behaved and mature. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, we had this one scene where we followed
Speaker 1: this kid who had just turned six and he's doing
Speaker 1: this this tradition UH called the first errand um where
Speaker 1: he the kid goes by himself through this city to
Speaker 1: go buy groceries from a grocery store at the age
Speaker 1: of six. Yeah, and it was like totally everyone seemed
Speaker 1: cool with it. He knew what he was doing. He
Speaker 1: was extremely confident. It was insane. Um. Could you imagine
Speaker 1: letting your daughter in three years it's somewhere in l
Speaker 1: A to get one. I wouldn't trust her too. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't trust the city like I would be. I would
Speaker 1: think it's not safe enough. So that was you know,
Speaker 1: that episode was just so fun and a great conversation
Speaker 1: about you know, probably what's the most important business in
Speaker 1: my life right now, which is my family. Uh uh.
Speaker 1: And that then we did an episode in Denmark which
Speaker 1: was more about a question that's urgently American for me
Speaker 1: right now, which is how do we decide who our
Speaker 1: family is. It's quite it's quite a conversation about intersectionality.
Speaker 1: The reason why we went to Denmark was because it's
Speaker 1: most of us only know it is the happiest place
Speaker 1: in the world, but it turns out it's only so
Speaker 1: it's only happy if you're white. Um, it's not so
Speaker 1: great for its immigrants and refugees and so it actually
Speaker 1: they're experiencing. Their situation is actually not dissimilar from some
Speaker 1: of the big issues we're dealing with in this country
Speaker 1: right now. So that was a really compelling uh it's
Speaker 1: journey for me. And then the other episode was in
Speaker 1: South Korea with my buddy Matt, and that was about
Speaker 1: work life balance, uh in a country that's experiencing it
Speaker 1: as well. So you know, each episode truly was a
Speaker 1: life changing journey for me, and I set out to
Speaker 1: do that when I got a chance to have my
Speaker 1: own show, because one I'm at this age where I
Speaker 1: realized that shows projects work, like relying on the success
Speaker 1: of these things in the future is not reliable. And also,
Speaker 1: especially like I've been on so many canceled shows, I know,
Speaker 1: shows come and go. So I wanted to come up
Speaker 1: with the concept where I'm like, I'm gonna enjoy this
Speaker 1: no matter regardless of if anyone watches it, it will
Speaker 1: have still been a life changing journey for me. But
Speaker 1: then beyond that, Um, if I really was having a
Speaker 1: life changing journey, then that's going to come across on
Speaker 1: camera and hopefully make the show. Yes, absolutely authentic, genuine Yeah,
Speaker 1: um what what are what were you some of your
Speaker 1: biggest takeaways of happiness through this journey, through the places
Speaker 1: you you visited. What were some of the things that
Speaker 1: hit you the artists, like, really struck you and changed
Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, So in Mexico, you know, it was
Speaker 1: really a conversation about what do we all kind of
Speaker 1: want together in this next phase of life? And ah,
Speaker 1: you know, I think going to Mexico it taught me
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One I didn't realize that, you know,
Speaker 1: because everyone's living so much longer now, retirement is not
Speaker 1: just one phase. It's kind of a couple of phases.
Speaker 1: There's just all spring break phase that they get to
Speaker 1: do before they before the kind of final you know decline,
Speaker 1: I guess and so um and and then also I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I always assumed that my family would come
Speaker 1: live close to me or near me wherever I was.
Speaker 1: And it just got me thinking that, like, no, like
Speaker 1: they have their friends and their life where they are,
Speaker 1: if anything, I should come closer to them, and why not?
Speaker 1: Uh uh? And I also just from hanging out with
Speaker 1: a bunch of retire people there there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things about that lifestyle where I started thinking, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of this I don't have to wait for retirement
Speaker 1: to pursue the community elements of that lifestyle something that
Speaker 1: I want today. Can you speak to that a little
Speaker 1: bit more? Yeah, I mean, I think you know, community
Speaker 1: in America is it's been going away for a long
Speaker 1: time because we're so individual, because we're privatized, because we're
Speaker 1: not codependent in any way. We're not dependent in the
Speaker 1: way that we used to be. Um, if you want ah,
Speaker 1: if you need food, you get it from grocer store.
Speaker 1: You don't need your neighbor. You have an app where
Speaker 1: you can order from in fact, to the grocery store.
Speaker 1: You need to ride to the airport. We take uber
Speaker 1: Like there's literally no reason your own parents. You don't
Speaker 1: need them. They used to be needed for wisdom and
Speaker 1: like now you just google things, you have questions. So, um,
Speaker 1: we just don't need each other anymore. And as in
Speaker 1: that intend with just a society that really values its
Speaker 1: individuality and its privacy. You know, we've seen a demise
Speaker 1: of the American neighborhood. There's not m yeah, seeing other
Speaker 1: front yards and and run around and he used to
Speaker 1: be really safe and the neighbors used to watch each
Speaker 1: other's kids and you know, you're walking down there's just
Speaker 1: that just doesn't exist anymore. And Um, seeing that that
Speaker 1: was kind of what a lot of people were seeking
Speaker 1: in retirement. I think it was like a real reminder
Speaker 1: that you know, we really want that in our lives,
Speaker 1: and we're willing to make real sacrifices to find a
Speaker 1: way to bring that into our lives, you know. And
Speaker 1: again that's a big reason why we're talk about leaving
Speaker 1: l A interesting Yeah, and what I've learned that, like
Speaker 1: we were talking before the show started, Um, but living
Speaker 1: in the Hollywood Hills. Um, every house is gated, which
Speaker 1: keeps people out but also keeps you in. And so,
Speaker 1: like you said, there's no front yard, there's no seeing
Speaker 1: your neighbor every single day, like you can live. You
Speaker 1: can live in an area and not know you live
Speaker 1: somewhere for five years and not know the person that's
Speaker 1: three houses down because you never see them because they
Speaker 1: drive in their gate and then they drive out their
Speaker 1: gate and there's no actual face to face interaction. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's especially hard to places like l A too, because
Speaker 1: in cities in general, there's such a culture of achievement. Um,
Speaker 1: And I think that affects the community elements when you
Speaker 1: know that any time you're hanging out with someone that
Speaker 1: the most interesting thing about them is their career. Right yeah, yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: what did you learn in the South Korea episode about
Speaker 1: work life balance? Because that's a big thing I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people are struggling with, especially right now,
Speaker 1: where both of those worlds are collided because their kids
Speaker 1: are at home, their partner or spouses at home, you're
Speaker 1: trying to work at home. But just in general, what
Speaker 1: did you learn from your takeaway from the South Korea
Speaker 1: episode about work life balance. So so they're doing some
Speaker 1: interesting things to combat workaholism in Korea. Uh Like, for example,
Speaker 1: we walked along this one bridge they call the suicide Bridge,
Speaker 1: I think that's the name of it. It's right off
Speaker 1: the street, and it's become such a problem that the
Speaker 1: government has put these images of these inspirational messages along
Speaker 1: with images of delicious food. The idea being that if
Speaker 1: you see delicious food, it reminds you of your childhood,
Speaker 1: connects you to the world, and hopefully dissuades you from
Speaker 1: jez you know, it takes you away from the loneliness
Speaker 1: that that is connected to suicide. But probably my favorite
Speaker 1: scene of the series was this place we went to
Speaker 1: called the Death Cafe, the death Cafe, and it's like
Speaker 1: a cafe. You walk in, says death Cafe on the door,
Speaker 1: go to the receptionists, you sign it, and you pay,
Speaker 1: and what you're basically paying for is simulating your own death.
Speaker 1: So we walked in signed this thing. We sat in
Speaker 1: the waiting room where we had to fill out our
Speaker 1: own eulogies. Then this guy took a picture of us
Speaker 1: and that would go on our casket. Then we were
Speaker 1: let into a room with a with a bunch of
Speaker 1: caskets and we faked. We like laid in these caskets
Speaker 1: for like ten minutes, and then we got up and
Speaker 1: we read our eulogies and it was I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: excited watch this because it will blow your mind. Uh.
Speaker 1: It's really eye opening when you read your own eulogy
Speaker 1: because if you really think about what people are saying,
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with your work. It has
Speaker 1: everything to do with just who you are. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: so I want to hear more about that because that's
Speaker 1: such an interesting experience that there must have been revelations
Speaker 1: to yourself, like whoa I was given putting way too
Speaker 1: much stock in this. I've learned now that I need
Speaker 1: to prioritize this. This is actually what my heart wants,
Speaker 1: This is what fulfills me. This is what joy is
Speaker 1: to me. That's what happiness is to me. Anything specific
Speaker 1: come to mind there? No, I think Actually the realization
Speaker 1: is the one that you already said that you're pursuing
Speaker 1: in your own life, which is trying to find a
Speaker 1: way to make your day, your your your daily life
Speaker 1: aligned with my life goals, with your life goals. That's
Speaker 1: that's really what you know you know, the idea of
Speaker 1: work life balance is it's it's it's a little confusing because,
Speaker 1: first of all, it bifurcates work in life, which these
Speaker 1: days isn't necessarily the case. A lot of times those
Speaker 1: two things overlap. And beyond that, um life is just
Speaker 1: more nuanced than those two things. So I would say, like, mainly,
Speaker 1: what you realize we all worry about working life, but
Speaker 1: what we really need to worry about is not how
Speaker 1: much working or how much we're not working. What we
Speaker 1: need to be thinking about is not work or life,
Speaker 1: but just time. How much time we have, what we're
Speaker 1: doing with their time. What's a measure for you? That's
Speaker 1: a great question. What's a measure for you that allows
Speaker 1: you to calibrate and decide, Yes, this is worth my
Speaker 1: time or no, it's not worth my time. How do
Speaker 1: you make that decision? Well, it depends. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna really I'm gonna kind of like you. I'm
Speaker 1: in a position of privilege and I'm well aware of it.
Speaker 1: Where you earned that you are, that I've earned, and
Speaker 1: that that I have choices about my time. Look, i
Speaker 1: mean people just don't have choices, or at least feel
Speaker 1: like they don't have choices because they have to pay
Speaker 1: bills and whatever else. Like I, I guess for me,
Speaker 1: as long as I can control it, I have a
Speaker 1: triple bottom line approach to my time, which is is
Speaker 1: it something that I enjoy, Is it's something that's giving
Speaker 1: me growth, and is it something that's connecting me to
Speaker 1: the people I love? I would say, like, those things
Speaker 1: are the ones that I chase. It's what I got
Speaker 1: out of I made this documentary with my sister called
Speaker 1: me the Patels that became. It was this crazy thing.
Speaker 1: We spent so much time making it and then you know,
Speaker 1: it changed our changed our careers, but it also changed
Speaker 1: your lives. And the one thing I really got out
Speaker 1: of it was, for the first time in life, I
Speaker 1: saw how purposeful work can be, and how introspective it
Speaker 1: can be, how can bring me close to my loved ones.
Speaker 1: And once you get that feeling that buzz um, you
Speaker 1: start chasing it and everything you do. M Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: impossible to go backwards from that. Yeah, right. It's impossible
Speaker 1: to do a job that you hate just for the money,
Speaker 1: or to do somethingwhere to work with people you don't enjoy.
Speaker 1: You're like, no, it's it's the same as being on
Speaker 1: a team. When you're on a team when a culture
Speaker 1: and the product on the ice and what you guys
Speaker 1: are doing to creating together is amazing and just there's
Speaker 1: symmetry there and just chemistry. You're like, I'm never I'm
Speaker 1: never not being on a team where there's dissension and
Speaker 1: arguments like like we I want to be in a
Speaker 1: culture that's uplifting, empowering, inspiring, together, supportive, and we're working
Speaker 1: together to a common goal. And then I'll never And
Speaker 1: so any team that I'm on, and it used to
Speaker 1: be sports teams, now it could be a business or entrepreneurship,
Speaker 1: a podcast team. Any team that I'm on, I'm going
Speaker 1: to try and foster that because I'll never put myself
Speaker 1: in an environment where that doesn't exist again, and I'll
Speaker 1: do everything in my power to make it exists. Dude,
Speaker 1: that's awesome, man. Good for you. That's one of the
Speaker 1: things I learned from sport, you know. Yeah, But I
Speaker 1: also feel like you learned from sport that you need.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like you're three years out. It
Speaker 1: must be so hard. I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: I've seen this in so many athletes where you feel
Speaker 1: the need to feel relevant, like socially, like from the outside,
Speaker 1: like what's my next big thing? I feel like it's
Speaker 1: the thing that a lot of athletes ask themselves. And
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're for whatever reason, you have a
Speaker 1: very healthy mindset about this, which is like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm whatever I do. I want it to be about
Speaker 1: my own inner growth. And that's I don't think most
Speaker 1: people are blessed even feel bad, m Um, I never
Speaker 1: played the sport. Maybe I'm lucky because I never played
Speaker 1: the sport for that. I played the sport because I
Speaker 1: love the competition and I love the sport, and so
Speaker 1: the money was secondary, The fame was secondary, tertiary, like
Speaker 1: it was like that's the never That wasn't what drove me. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't probably a ceiling if those other
Speaker 1: things are the ones driving you right right then, and
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't think those are enough
Speaker 1: to drive somebody to go to the depths that we
Speaker 1: must go to to elevate to that level. That's not
Speaker 1: enough compensation. Yeah, the internal personal reward, the goal and
Speaker 1: the happiness, the happiness that you get from it is
Speaker 1: what drives you. That's irreplaceable. That's and uh, it's It
Speaker 1: reminds me of a great I can't remember where I
Speaker 1: heard it or who said it, but one of the
Speaker 1: greatest quotes I ever heard about happiness was that the
Speaker 1: goal of all other goals is happiness. Yeah, And when
Speaker 1: you think about it, the goal of all other goals,
Speaker 1: Like why did I want to play in the NHL?
Speaker 1: Because I loved I love playing hockey. It's just my
Speaker 1: soul's expression. Every day it made me happy. Um, why
Speaker 1: do I want to win a Stanley couple? I want
Speaker 1: to be a champion. I want to be able to
Speaker 1: say I'm the best in the world. Why because it
Speaker 1: makes me happy? Why do I want to buy this car? Oh,
Speaker 1: because it's just it looks so cool and I want
Speaker 1: to drive it. And what is that emotion that I
Speaker 1: get from its happiness? The goal of all other goals
Speaker 1: is happiness. And so I keep that in mind now,
Speaker 1: and so I compare everything too. Does this add happiness
Speaker 1: or or detract happiness? So I'm at my lake house
Speaker 1: right now up in the Pacific Northwest. I can go
Speaker 1: out on the water. It's beach, it's waterfront. I can
Speaker 1: go on the water I could fish right now, hunting
Speaker 1: seasons right around the corner. I have a husky that
Speaker 1: I could hike with. I have a home gym, I
Speaker 1: could work out, and I can do anything I want.
Speaker 1: So choosing to be here with you is my happiness
Speaker 1: right now because I don't need to be and so
Speaker 1: I measure everything else against against these other things that
Speaker 1: bring me so much happiness. There's an opportunity cost every minute. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: and so but this is this is growth, this is communication,
Speaker 1: this is connection, this is challenge for myself. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not a podcast host. I grew up as a hockey player.
Speaker 1: So I want to challenge myself as And that's why
Speaker 1: I have love having like actors and musicians and different
Speaker 1: people on because you guys are so multi talented, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, how does this How does this actor create
Speaker 1: a film, executive produce, create a docuseries? Come up with
Speaker 1: this concept executed? You know, is a humanitarian, is a father,
Speaker 1: is a husband? Like I love seeing people that are
Speaker 1: multi talented because it inspires me and so I get
Speaker 1: to do That's one of the benefits I get of
Speaker 1: doing this podcast is meeting people like yourself that then
Speaker 1: give me inspirations find like house like that. I don't
Speaker 1: know that i'd be here, but I appreciate that you're
Speaker 1: doing it. Appreciate it. Man. Um, do you think do
Speaker 1: you think the measure of happiness could be different from
Speaker 1: person to person? Yeah, I mean probably. I don't really
Speaker 1: know the answer to that, but I mean I think
Speaker 1: I think if we're just talking about dudes, I think
Speaker 1: most dudes, most of us, don't think about happiness, most
Speaker 1: of us. Why is that? Well, I think, first of all,
Speaker 1: I think most men aren't conditioned to think about emotions.
Speaker 1: Number one. Um, we're not conditioned to look inward. And
Speaker 1: I also think that there's something I think. I think
Speaker 1: like I sometimes wonder, I'm like, I wish I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, there was a version of me when I
Speaker 1: was younger that was so happy, but wasn't thinking about
Speaker 1: whether or not I was happy. I was never thinking
Speaker 1: about what it takes to be happy. And it had
Speaker 1: a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't
Speaker 1: thinking about it. Thinking about how happy you are can
Speaker 1: in a way of reduced how happy you are because
Speaker 1: you're paying it. So I'm I'm, I'm. It's interesting because
Speaker 1: I think in a lot of ways. I'm I put
Speaker 1: so much effort in of being happier, but the place
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to is the place where I'm
Speaker 1: not thinking about it anymore. Um. Yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: probably different for everyone. I don't really know. I just
Speaker 1: I just know for me, it's something that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to work on. Yeah, I think it's constant pursuit. I
Speaker 1: think there's a pursuit. I always say I'm relentless in
Speaker 1: my pursuit of happiness, But I also believe that there's
Speaker 1: a complete opposite side to the coin of the grace
Speaker 1: component of I don't need to do anything to be happy,
Speaker 1: just being here, like breathing, breathing right like. But this is,
Speaker 1: this is. This has come from my own mistakes and
Speaker 1: where I needed to achieve, as you said, I need
Speaker 1: to achieve. I needed to be purposed. I needed to
Speaker 1: end up number one to be happy. I was very measured. Um,
Speaker 1: but now I want I'm trying to add grace into
Speaker 1: my life where I'm like, I wake up, my legs
Speaker 1: can move me anywhere I want. I have air in
Speaker 1: my lungs, oxygen my lungs. I am happy, I'm blessed,
Speaker 1: beyond belief in the grace of life. You know, just
Speaker 1: because of those two things, we get to wake up today.
Speaker 1: There's people that woke up yesterday that didn't get to
Speaker 1: wake up today. You know that is so just finding Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I know you have to go, brother, Um, I
Speaker 1: know you have things on your on your plate that
Speaker 1: you have to go, but i'd love to. I'd love
Speaker 1: to continue this conversation with you. I love that you've
Speaker 1: added what you've added to our community here, and I
Speaker 1: think it's such a relevant topic. I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: any last. First off, give our our listeners one more
Speaker 1: touch point on the show on where they can find
Speaker 1: Robbi Patel's Pursuit of Happiness. You can find it on
Speaker 1: HBO Max Today, which is uh, it's a streaming service.
Speaker 1: It's like HBO's version of Netflix, I guess. So you
Speaker 1: can find it online. I believe it's still not on
Speaker 1: Roku or Amazon Fire, which is going to annoy people,
Speaker 1: but you can I don't know. You can find on
Speaker 1: Apple TV and your laptop and whatever else we can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where I want to tune infest? Sure where can people
Speaker 1: find you? Where you hang out? So I just recently
Speaker 1: made my Instagram handle public it's at show me the Rubby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my Twitter is the same thing. Um. Yeah, And you know,
Speaker 1: I hope if anyone who's listening, if you watch the show,
Speaker 1: please uh please holerate me on Instagram or Twitter and
Speaker 1: tell me what you think. Certainly poured my heart into it,
Speaker 1: so I appreciate you help me get the word out. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. I can't wait to do I'm really
Speaker 1: excited just about the concepts. I love the four topics
Speaker 1: that you covered in the show. So, um, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tune into it tonight for sure, I'm gonna tune into
Speaker 1: that workaholism. We'll tell me what you think that after
Speaker 1: you watch it, all right, Yeah, that'll be the first
Speaker 1: one I want to watch. Um. And then any last
Speaker 1: words for our listeners on happiness, on how to achieve
Speaker 1: happiness in their lives. I don't know, try to try
Speaker 1: to try to try to nurture love, you know, try
Speaker 1: to try to try to have someone or something the
Speaker 1: world that you're in charge of. Um. Because caring for people,
Speaker 1: caring for things, UM, that gives you purpose and uh,
Speaker 1: you know that's that's where the juice is. I just
Speaker 1: love that word. Like love. I love that you went
Speaker 1: to love dude, Robbie. I know you gotta run, so
Speaker 1: I'll let you go, brother. But thank you for your time. Dude.
Speaker 1: You brought so much happiness to me, to our listeners,
Speaker 1: and you're good. Dude. Let's do this. Let's do happiness
Speaker 1: two point oh in the coming months. Would love him,
Speaker 1: would love it to show up. I will tell him
Speaker 1: I miss him. Okay, I'll tell Gab. I'll send him
Speaker 1: right now. He'll have FOMO on this. But changing my friend,
Speaker 1: And to all our listeners, all our listeners, I wish
Speaker 1: you just a wealth of health and happiness. Um. I
Speaker 1: know times are tough right now, but tough times the
Speaker 1: last tough people do. And I wish you all the
Speaker 1: happiness in the world. Thank you for tuning into another
Speaker 1: episode of How Man Think till next week. Take care
Speaker 1: of one another, love one another, and I hope your
Speaker 1: hearts are happy.