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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: de Grab and I Hear Radio podcast. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like

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Speaker 1: and on this episode we are going to dive into

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite favorite words and topics, happiness, happiness.

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Speaker 1: What is happiness? How do we achieve happiness? What is

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Speaker 1: happiness to me? What is happiness to you? Can we

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Speaker 1: find a state of happiness in the current conditions? So

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Speaker 1: happiness is the term and the word and the topic

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Speaker 1: of discussion today. And riding Shotgun as my co host.

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Speaker 1: Today we have a very very special co host. He

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Speaker 1: is an actor, a filmmaker, a humanitarian and entrepreneur. He's

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Speaker 1: also a loving husband and father. Ruby Patel, Welcome to

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Speaker 1: How Men Think. Wow, what an intro. Good night, buddy,

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Speaker 1: Let's go. Yeah, let's go. But I like I I

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Speaker 1: wish our viewers and see what or see what I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing because we're doing this via zoom call, which I'd

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Speaker 1: rather do it in studio, but obviously given the conditions.

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Speaker 1: But you just have a glowing smile. You have a

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Speaker 1: glowing smile. You have a glowing smile and happy eyes.

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Speaker 1: Happy eyes are a big proponent opponent of happiness, and

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Speaker 1: so I noticed that right when you jumped on the call.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting it from you, man, I have I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: very sensitive to two people who have good vibes. And

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Speaker 1: I apologize to our listeners for saying the phrase good vibes,

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Speaker 1: but that is what I got from you when I

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Speaker 1: saw you, dude, I said good vibes. And text messages

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Speaker 1: all the time. I said good vibes, and the the

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Speaker 1: emoji of the guy with the sunglasses and that's that's

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Speaker 1: too much, too much, feel it back. Um, So I

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Speaker 1: want to dive into the discussion. One, because you're you're

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Speaker 1: such an accomplished and talented person. There's there's professional happiness,

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Speaker 1: but I love having you on because you're also a

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Speaker 1: father and so and a husband and so there's personal happiness.

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Speaker 1: And so I to dive into that. What the balance

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Speaker 1: of professional happiness personal happiness? Uh? Do they correlate? Are

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Speaker 1: they integrated? How does that show up in your life?

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Speaker 1: And and and also that just what you did with the show,

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Speaker 1: which we'll talk about on this as well as the

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Speaker 1: Robbie Patel's Pursuit of Happiness, which is on HBO Max,

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Speaker 1: where you travel around the world to find these different

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Speaker 1: definitions of happiness and how it shows up in different countries. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I want to start with one question to you,

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Speaker 1: and it's very vague in general, but it's a really

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Speaker 1: important question, and it's something I enjoy asking people because

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Speaker 1: I enjoy seeing which way they take it. What is

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Speaker 1: your definition of happiness? Mm hmm. I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: it's trying to find a way to make each day

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Speaker 1: in the present as fun as possible, which means, you know,

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Speaker 1: laughing with the people you love the most. Uh, finding

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Speaker 1: a way to put smiles on each other's faces. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I think again, I think cord of that is

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Speaker 1: making sure you're giving to the people who give you

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Speaker 1: the most, the people you love the most, focusing on

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Speaker 1: the relationships that matter, and just I mean, I'm a

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Speaker 1: I'm a sucker for bonding. I love. I love my dudes,

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Speaker 1: I love my wife, I love my kids, A love

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Speaker 1: my dog. Um, and I love trying to love better.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's cheesy, but I just think it's so fun.

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Speaker 1: I love it, Dude. I want I want to like

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Speaker 1: get that and loop that and just put that just

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Speaker 1: for people to listen to. Because in what I love

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Speaker 1: about that. I love a couple of things. One the

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Speaker 1: words that you use first, you said fun, fun and

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Speaker 1: love and the people closest to you. And in my

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Speaker 1: own journey in two words, I had two words that

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Speaker 1: I really want to focus on, or wanted to focus on,

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Speaker 1: was laughter and love. And you said, how you can

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Speaker 1: be how you can be present and the most fun

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Speaker 1: with the people that you love today, not waiting for

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Speaker 1: tomorrow or planning a trip three months from now, like

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Speaker 1: today in this room. And so laughter and love were

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Speaker 1: two of the things that I focused on the most

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Speaker 1: in and having those top of mind has brought me,

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Speaker 1: has brought me certainly closer with the people in my life.

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Speaker 1: It's also connected me with the people at a deeper,

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Speaker 1: more affectionate, more loving, more vulnerable way. UM covid has

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Speaker 1: really revealed to me who's really important in my life

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Speaker 1: in in ways of like seeking connection with them. So

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Speaker 1: um for fun, for fun and love. What's on on

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Speaker 1: a daily like something that you will do say with

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Speaker 1: your wife or your you said, your homies, or your

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Speaker 1: your daughter, Like, what's something that's really fun and really

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Speaker 1: love fulfilling that you do on the daily. What what

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Speaker 1: do you think that you've done, by the way, just

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Speaker 1: really quick just to follow up on what you just said,

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Speaker 1: because I think that's beautiful. What are the specific things

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Speaker 1: you think you've done too bring all that laughter and

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Speaker 1: love into your life. Tried to make moments, tried to,

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Speaker 1: as you said early, be present. So, UM, I have

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Speaker 1: made space in my life, created and made and preserved

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Speaker 1: space in my life for connection. So after after five

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Speaker 1: o'clock I started this about eight nine months ago. After

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Speaker 1: five o'clock, I am not on my phone, I am

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Speaker 1: not on an email, I'm not on my computer. I

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Speaker 1: am fully fully immersed in connection. UM. I will do

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Speaker 1: I will do almost anything to never eat supper without

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Speaker 1: a crew of people around me. Again, awesome. I love

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Speaker 1: having people over for supper. UM. Connecting in the evening

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Speaker 1: instead of sitting down and watching a show in the evening,

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Speaker 1: I'll go to my brother in laws, or I'll go

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Speaker 1: to my buddy Corey's and we'll just sit in his

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Speaker 1: gradge in his studio, We'll just just anything instead of

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Speaker 1: falling into these other little norms and then creating space

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Speaker 1: us and just realizing how how important that human connection

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Speaker 1: with these people is, how important it is, and then

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Speaker 1: trying to make, trying to make moments because moments are memories.

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Speaker 1: So we're doing little surprises, doing little surprises, doing little

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Speaker 1: practical jokes and pranks, things that take a little time

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Speaker 1: to plan. But then but then when you execute them,

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Speaker 1: you get such a smile and a moment out of it.

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Speaker 1: You get a moment out of it, and you get

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Speaker 1: a memory out of it, versus just seeing people and

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Speaker 1: not having any memories. Yeah, that's I think that's really

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Speaker 1: profound because I mean, if you think about what life

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Speaker 1: really is, it's just a series of memories, so you know,

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Speaker 1: right ones that you want to talk about or that

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Speaker 1: you want to remember. But I think you hit on

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Speaker 1: a really big thing which could not be more important,

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Speaker 1: in which is creating boundaries for yourself. Because right now,

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Speaker 1: there's there's We've never been more distracted than we are today.

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Speaker 1: We've never had so much choice, and it's overwhelming, and

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Speaker 1: the net result is that we end up not feeling

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Speaker 1: control in our data lives, and so we have to

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Speaker 1: go out of our way more than ever to create

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Speaker 1: boundaries so that we feel some sense of control, so

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Speaker 1: that we feel planted in the day. It's something I

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Speaker 1: struggled with all the time. But I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: starting with just the brass tacks of technology creating boundaries

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Speaker 1: around when you use your laptop and when you use

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Speaker 1: your phone, that's a huge one. Um. I think that's

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Speaker 1: a very big one, because that, to me is the

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Speaker 1: beginning of trying to create that space, the same thing

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Speaker 1: with like television, Like technology is supposed to be there

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Speaker 1: to help us do better with our time, and instead

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Speaker 1: we let it take away our time and dominate our time. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Another one that I've done is I don't accept any

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Speaker 1: I don't have any calls or any work stuff prior

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Speaker 1: to one o'clock in the day. So I was a

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Speaker 1: professional athlete, you know. So I I've made enough money

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Speaker 1: to not have to work the rest of my life,

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Speaker 1: and and so I get to I get to choose

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Speaker 1: projects that I wish to be a part of because

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Speaker 1: of because they light me up, and because of the

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Speaker 1: people in them, and because of the impact that they

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Speaker 1: can make in the world. So I never set an alarm.

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Speaker 1: I never set an alarm because why would I set

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Speaker 1: an alarm? Why do I want to be up for

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Speaker 1: anything that when I want to wake up when my

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Speaker 1: body's rested. So I don't set an alarm, and then

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Speaker 1: I don't schedule any sort of calls before one PM

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Speaker 1: because I want that morning for fitness, I want to read,

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Speaker 1: I want to be active. I just want to be peaceful.

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Speaker 1: And then I'll do any sort of creative development or

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Speaker 1: project or this podcast in the afternoon between one and

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Speaker 1: five pm. That's the block of window that I have.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what that's called in the rest of

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Speaker 1: the world location privileged mother? No, it's it's It's awesome, bro.

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Speaker 1: I think that's so smart. I mean, it's absolutely a

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Speaker 1: privilege to even be able to do that. But I

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Speaker 1: think it's so um thoughtful of you to make that

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Speaker 1: decision to know, like, hey, I'm lucky. I get to

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Speaker 1: make some choices with my time, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: choose to make my time mine. Most people don't. Don't.

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Speaker 1: Most people are so passive. Most of us are just

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Speaker 1: kind of riding the ride, and you wake up months

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Speaker 1: to two years later and realize, wait, what just happened?

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Speaker 1: Where was I? I think that's awesome, man. And you

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Speaker 1: know a lot of that stuff you're doing and stuff

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Speaker 1: that I'm trying to do in my own life, it's

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Speaker 1: hard as hell. So I want to I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you the same question so on the boundaries front,

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Speaker 1: because I think you do so much more professionally than

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Speaker 1: what I do. You know as an actor, as a filmmaker,

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Speaker 1: as executive producer, humanitarian, plus you have the this saves

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Speaker 1: lives Like you're an entrepreneur, um, how do you balance

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Speaker 1: all of the What are some boundaries in your life

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Speaker 1: that um that you set that will protect your happiness

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Speaker 1: and not help you be overwhelmed? Because I think being

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed is one thing that robs people of happiness totally,

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Speaker 1: and I think everyone these days because like we said earlier,

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Speaker 1: because we have so much choice, we have so much

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Speaker 1: pressure to perform in work and to achieve, achieve, achieve,

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Speaker 1: and then in a free time we kind of have

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Speaker 1: similar pressures, Like we spend more money than ever on

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Speaker 1: food and restaurants because there's so many choices with every

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Speaker 1: minute of the day, and then even in a few

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Speaker 1: minutes we don't have we're like, oh, I gotta go

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Speaker 1: to yoga, I gotta meditate, and you actually pay for

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Speaker 1: most of those things. Then you gotta make more money

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Speaker 1: to pay for those things. The vicious circle where you

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Speaker 1: never feel like you're doing enough and you've never had

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Speaker 1: enough money to pay for it, and uh, certainly you

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Speaker 1: know when it comes to achievement, all those things you listed,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't. We did an entire episode on

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Speaker 1: this premise. The fourth episode of the series takes place

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Speaker 1: in South Korea with one of my best friends. It's

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Speaker 1: guy named Matt Polson who founded a company called oh Maze,

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Speaker 1: and he and I both have this kind of work hard,

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Speaker 1: play hard mentality in life and a lot of people

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Speaker 1: who live in cities have this mentality. And um, you know,

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Speaker 1: South Korea as a country is having a crisis of

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Speaker 1: workoholism that's leading to high rates of depression and suicide.

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Speaker 1: And so so this thing that you're asking is actually

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Speaker 1: central to uh, you know, it's it's one of my

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Speaker 1: core conflicts in life. And I think it came out of,

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Speaker 1: you know, being conditioned or conditioning myself to achieve to

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Speaker 1: and being obsessed with achievement and in great part attaching

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Speaker 1: my self worth to what I can achieve and like

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Speaker 1: all those things you listed, Like I probably get a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a dopamine hit when you say those things,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I did that. That's great. I

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Speaker 1: mean the same way you probably you know, in order

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Speaker 1: to succeed at at what you've done as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: you have to be obsessed like you have to. You

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Speaker 1: have to, And there's more to it than just loving

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Speaker 1: the game. There's there's there's a love of mastery there

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Speaker 1: that that you that you and I probably share. There's

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Speaker 1: a love of achievement that you and I probably share.

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Speaker 1: There's this core thing in our egos that that dances

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Speaker 1: with the thing we're doing as well. And I realized

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Speaker 1: now as I'm older, I'll look, I'm really proud, and

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Speaker 1: I get really excited about doing I'm very curious, and

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Speaker 1: I love doing things with people. I love um creating

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Speaker 1: experiences that make my life better or make the lives

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Speaker 1: of those around me better. But now that I'm a

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Speaker 1: father and I'm on the other side of forty, I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to also realize none of that is any good

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Speaker 1: if like I didn't remember what I did that day

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Speaker 1: because I was so busy right in the roller coaster.

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Speaker 1: And so now I'm trying to figure out a way

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Speaker 1: to balance things out the way you said, and I

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Speaker 1: think it has a lot to do with you know,

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Speaker 1: especially because of what I do is so purpose driven.

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Speaker 1: It's like almost a way of cheating the system where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, everything I do it's like I'm doing

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Speaker 1: it with my friends and family, or it's doing this

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Speaker 1: good thing in the world. So it's almost like I

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Speaker 1: have a justification to work all the time because my

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Speaker 1: work is my life. And now I'm in this new

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Speaker 1: phase where it's like, Okay, that's great, but I need

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Speaker 1: to carve out more space for myself. The way you

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Speaker 1: were just talking about space that has nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with achievement. Space that's passive. Uh. Space that's for eating

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Speaker 1: ice cream and flipping channels without without a cause, or

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Speaker 1: you know, just going for a walk. You know. Um,

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Speaker 1: the those are the things I'm starting to prioritize and

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Speaker 1: it's it's actually making my work life in a way

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Speaker 1: more inspired. There's two things in mind when I hear

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Speaker 1: you talk. There's two things in mind. For it's a

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Speaker 1: blessing and a curse to be a hyper driven person.

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Speaker 1: So for somebody to achieve the things that you have achieved,

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Speaker 1: you are a hyper driven person. There is something extraordinary

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Speaker 1: about you. You don't get to elevate to your level

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Speaker 1: without that. So that being said, that's an amazing blessing

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Speaker 1: in your life. It has served you so greatly in

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Speaker 1: your life. The flip side of that is if that

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Speaker 1: can't be controlled, it's going to consume you and it's

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Speaker 1: gonna eat you alive, and that you can never turn

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Speaker 1: it off. The other part that I see about you

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Speaker 1: is you're so multi talented. You're so multi talented. You

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Speaker 1: can act, you can produce, you can direct, you have

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Speaker 1: humanitarian you're an entrepreneur, Like there's you can do anything

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Speaker 1: because you're so multi talented. So then everything is an option,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, say acting is not going on

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Speaker 1: right now, Okay, well then it can be an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: I can I have this other thing. So there's always

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Speaker 1: gonna be worked for you. Plus, you're a hyper driven person.

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Speaker 1: How do you get the balance back and say no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna step back from this because I

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Speaker 1: want to eat more ice cream with my daughter. I

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Speaker 1: want to Because so many people struggle with that, how

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Speaker 1: do you do it well? I think the I think

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Speaker 1: the hyper drive comes from is probably rooted. Look, I

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Speaker 1: do think there's a lot of reasons that are positive

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Speaker 1: as to why I am hyperdriven, Like in terms of

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Speaker 1: just a genuine curiosity, a love of of connecting, blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. But so there's also a strong part of

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Speaker 1: it that's rooted in insecurity and wanting to get people,

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Speaker 1: wanting to gain. Whether it's a chip on my shoulder

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to prove to myself or to someone

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Speaker 1: around me, I don't know. I haven't done augh therapy

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Speaker 1: to figure that out, but there's definitely some chip on

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Speaker 1: my shoulder that I think is driving me to do

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Speaker 1: all that. Like even when you said all those things

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Speaker 1: about me, it's like, oh, like, that's probably the thing

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Speaker 1: that I've always wanted people to say about me, that

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Speaker 1: I can do all these things. That's probably because because

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Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, I'm actually not great at any

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Speaker 1: one thing, but I am good at a lot of

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Speaker 1: different things. And that's probably the muscle that I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to flex at all times and and to show that,

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Speaker 1: like part of the conceit that I'm part of the

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Speaker 1: thing that I'm probably trying to prove to people is

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Speaker 1: that I have the stamina of an athlete where I

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Speaker 1: can do all these things at the same time, because that,

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Speaker 1: to me, is a sport in and of itself. Um,

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Speaker 1: and look, it's great, it's really cool. But again, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying to I'm trying to change a

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Speaker 1: lot of that circuitry so that it's a little healthier

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Speaker 1: for me. Right now, it's hard, man. Can you can

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Speaker 1: you walk me through that process specifically if you can,

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Speaker 1: because I'm going through the same thing. I'm experimenting with

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Speaker 1: a lot of just a lot of lifestyle optimization experiments

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Speaker 1: going on. How long has it been since you've been

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Speaker 1: out of hockey. It'll be three years in November, three

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Speaker 1: years and I've only recently and probably the last nine

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Speaker 1: months to a year, Rubbie found, like found my balance

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Speaker 1: of my pursuit, my personal pursuit of happiness. So as

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Speaker 1: an athlete, it used to be pursued the Stanley Cup.

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Speaker 1: I want to be a champion, the best in the world.

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Speaker 1: That's not chasing happiness. That's chasing the result in the

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Speaker 1: sport that I was in, And so a lot of

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Speaker 1: your happiness takes a back seat. You missed some birthdays,

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Speaker 1: you missed some weddings, your training Saturday morning, Sunday morning,

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Speaker 1: when your friends were getting together the night before, you're

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Speaker 1: not there. You miss out on a lot of happiness

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Speaker 1: in pursuit of this goal. Since I've been out of hockey,

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Speaker 1: I've discovered, Wow, my pursuit now is happiness. The ultimate

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Speaker 1: pursuit in my life is a balance of doing things

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Speaker 1: I love with people I love with, also things that

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Speaker 1: fulfill me, impacting and serving the world, and balancing all

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Speaker 1: of that is the pursuit of happiness. You mean, inner

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Speaker 1: growth basically is what you're what you're what you're seeking now,

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Speaker 1: and you probably haven't been able to give that any

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Speaker 1: attention when you're an athlete. I mean a lot of

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Speaker 1: athletes do enjoy their time in sports, but I also

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Speaker 1: feel like the way sports have evolved the last fifteen years,

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Speaker 1: it's not like like it's not like the way the

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Speaker 1: bulls were in the Last Dance, Like it's sports have

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Speaker 1: just become so intense and so competitive and so uh

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Speaker 1: scientific that that it seems like in order to reach

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Speaker 1: the top of that mountain, you need to be always,

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Speaker 1: always busting your ass, and I imagine that comes at

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Speaker 1: an expense of enjoying the climb. You're always looking towards

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Speaker 1: the future and a lot of personal sacrifices. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's gotta be tricky man. I mean that's and I

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Speaker 1: also think that's why so many athletes struggle with the

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Speaker 1: transition out of sports. Yeah, and it's a it's a

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Speaker 1: real thing. And I did too, because, like you said,

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Speaker 1: loss of purpose. So you are multi talented. You can

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Speaker 1: do many different things. I did one thing. I did

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Speaker 1: one thing. I was a mile deep on one thing,

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Speaker 1: and then when that thing's gone, now what do you do?

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Speaker 1: But I always argue, I would argue that you think

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Speaker 1: you're only great at one thing, But the result of

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Speaker 1: you being great at that one thing, it came out

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Speaker 1: of a skill set that is the hardest to cultivate,

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Speaker 1: which is learning to work your ass off to achieve

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Speaker 1: something that idea, that mastery. Like, that's something that I

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Speaker 1: want to teach my daughter. I want to teach my

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Speaker 1: daughter how to be kind and I want to learn

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Speaker 1: her I want to teach her mastery the idea of um,

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Speaker 1: how hard work can achieve great things and and how

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Speaker 1: uh hitting your hitting your face on the pavement can

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Speaker 1: be an awesome part of the process to your you know,

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Speaker 1: like I want to teach your grit, I want to

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Speaker 1: teach your stamina. I want to teach her the courage

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Speaker 1: it takes to reach a very high height, and I

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Speaker 1: think undeniably you have done that. I think professional athletes,

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Speaker 1: actors feel this way as well. People who achieve great

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Speaker 1: success and have given career often wrongly feel if I

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Speaker 1: didn't do this, what else would I do? The fact

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Speaker 1: the matter is you could. You could probably be successful.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I would change the definition of success

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Speaker 1: to not be the Stanley Cup or anything that's in

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Speaker 1: the future. Will change it to did you have a

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Speaker 1: good day and are you enjoying the process? Whatever that

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Speaker 1: thing you're heading towards. Make sure that that aligns with

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Speaker 1: your core values as as a person. Make sure the

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Speaker 1: way you're pursuing it day to day is also aligned

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Speaker 1: with your core values. UM, so that you're enjoying yourself along. Liy,

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Speaker 1: That's exactly it. And I've found that being out of hockey,

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Speaker 1: a lot of the characteristics that I developed and were

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Speaker 1: present in me to perform in that arena are now

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Speaker 1: are now helping me excel in other areas of my life.

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Speaker 1: I then, what you just said about the day to

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Speaker 1: day thing, this is my golden question and I want

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Speaker 1: to I want to pose it to you. Um, this

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Speaker 1: is what I asked myself every single day, this is

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Speaker 1: the number one question that governs my life and my

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Speaker 1: and and thus my happiness. Are my daily actions congruent

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Speaker 1: with my life goals? Are my daily actions can grue

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Speaker 1: it with my life goals? And when I think about that, first,

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Speaker 1: I have to start with my life goal. What's my

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Speaker 1: life goal? I want to live in laughter and in love.

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Speaker 1: I want to live the happiest life in the imaginable

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Speaker 1: to me. So then are my daily actions congruent with

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Speaker 1: that life goal? And that's really helped me reshape my

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Speaker 1: days um and and build in more connection with loved ones,

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Speaker 1: stronger prioritization of relationship. Um. I have zero tolerance for

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Speaker 1: doing I don't want to do. I do not. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: anyone who's purpose driven success is alert to do right.

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Speaker 1: They don't understand Yeah. So but I want I want

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Speaker 1: to shape it. I want to pull it back to you. So,

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Speaker 1: how how are you currently like looking at your life,

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Speaker 1: assessing your life and and prioritizing more happiness and defining

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Speaker 1: more happiness in your life? Can I assume that this

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Speaker 1: is what the conversations were like in the hockey locker room,

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Speaker 1: just just exactly real, deep real deep conversations the hockey

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Speaker 1: fans in loving this stuff? Um, how do I do it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I mean I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: I think just the process of trying, in of itself

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Speaker 1: is what begets it. Like there's joy in trying to

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Speaker 1: live a better life that the process of pursuing joy

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Speaker 1: begets joy. Um. And if you're lucky, you're able to

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Speaker 1: harness optimism and you know I do, dude, I'm a

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Speaker 1: cheesy dude, Like I have a gratefulness journ. I keep

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Speaker 1: you do it. It's the best, right, Three things I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful for every day? Three things that I like today? Great?

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Speaker 1: You know? Um, you know I have a long ways

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Speaker 1: to go on a lot of things we've just discussed.

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Speaker 1: But I find that I'm happier when I'm thinking about

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Speaker 1: trying to be happier when I'm trying to figure it out. Mhm.

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Speaker 1: So what what other like practices would you have in

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Speaker 1: the course of your day? Love the gratitude journal. Gratitude

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Speaker 1: is amazing, like where gratitude lives. Um. I think fulfillment

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Speaker 1: and joy and peace that they all accompany gratitude. Um.

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Speaker 1: What other personal practices do you include in your day

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Speaker 1: that lead you towards happiness. By the way, for anyone

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Speaker 1: who's listening the gratitude journal, I know it sounds lame

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Speaker 1: and stupid, but like there's something it does if you

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Speaker 1: just do it for a few minutes a day, it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I think what it does is it reframes your experience

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Speaker 1: in the world because it makes you feel your day

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Speaker 1: a little more. It makes you pay attention to these

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Speaker 1: kind of like few three or four things that you're

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00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: looking to get out of that day, and your subconsciously

429
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: view the day through the lens of of gratefulness. Um,

430
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: it's really I mean, I've had you know, I'm I'm

431
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 1: like the dude in every dude's life. I've sent all

432
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: my friends to therapy, all my guy friends, and I

433
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: make all my dudes do these gratefulness journals when they're

434
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: down and they and they're all are like, you know,

435
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: I'm like a bros bro so that they're they're they're

436
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: none of them are even even never heard of a

437
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 1: gratefulness journal. Usually when I asked them to do this

438
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: and then they do it and they're like, it's it's

439
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: actually pretty amazing. We still can't tell anyone that I'm

440
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 1: doing it, but it's amazing, So I'd say I do that.

441
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I'm actually so I'm very I'm like,

442
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: I actually have a d D. And and so I

443
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: say that to me, I've never been disciplined, Like I'm

444
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: not one of these perfect guys who like wakes up

445
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: at the same time every day. Is like I can

446
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 1: even just look at you and your physique and the

447
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: way that you speak and see that you're a very

448
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: disciplined person of a discipline approach to life. Yeah, and

449
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,479
Speaker 1: and potentially type A correct and I'm yeah, and I'm

450
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: trying to get out of that. So I'm the opposite

451
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 1: of that. Okay, we're we gotta hang out. Yeah, Yeah,

452
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 1: I'm a sloppy I'm a sloppy dude, you know, like

453
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm literally a d D. And so what

454
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: I found with habits and and look, getting like changing

455
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: your habits is one of the hardest things in life.

456
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 1: Um when it comes to habits with me, I love

457
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: trying new things, and I get really excited about new things.

458
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: And in true a d D sent I'm quite distractable.

459
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: So I might start something, go hard, and then pivot

460
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 1: to something else. Um. What I've noticed with me when

461
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 1: it comes to changing my habits is I keep trying,

462
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: and sometimes things stick, sometimes they go away, sometimes I

463
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: have to restart. The only difference between me today and

464
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: me ten years ago is that today I'm not as

465
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: hard on myself when I mess things up, Like I

466
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: used to carry a great shame about not being the

467
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: person that I wanted to be. And now I'm like,

468
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: you know what, this is just who I am, and

469
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: and I'm trying my best. I'll keep trying, and uh

470
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 1: so I say that to me. You know, all these

471
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 1: habits come and go. I love going on a periodic

472
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: cleanse like dietary clans. I love doing the fasting thing.

473
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: I'm literally about to start a brain cleanse because that's

474
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 1: my big goal in life now. Is my brain feels foggy,

475
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 1: my memories horrible, um, and I have a trouble sometimes

476
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: feeling present, and I've decided that's like my number one

477
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: goal in life is to make my brain feel as

478
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: high functioning and clear as possible. And so what I'm

479
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: gonna do is because basically it turns out everything contributes

480
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: to brain health. So I'm gonna go on a pretty

481
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: intense clean diet. I'm gonna start meditating. Uh, I'm going

482
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: to I'm gonna go on like a technology cleanse a

483
00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: lot of the things that you already sounds like you're doing. Um,

484
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take new tropics things that are like good

485
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 1: for your brain. Um. Your brain needs he you need

486
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 1: specific healthy fats for your brain to operate too yet

487
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: threes and uh. One of the things I take is

488
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: the bulletproof brain octane oil. I have that in my

489
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: shake every morning. It's healthy fats for your brain. Yeah. Yeah,

490
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: I've taken it before. Do you like it? I love it?

491
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: I love it. Ye. So I've tried that, and I've

492
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: tried them that Joe Rogan one the alpha brain or

493
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: on it alpha brain, but I couldn't tell the difference

494
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: that I couldn't tell the deers in my brain with

495
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: either one. M Can I add one more thing in

496
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: there for you? I want as many as you got. Um.

497
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 1: I love this. I'm actually really curious and excited to

498
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: hear to do it with me. I'm sure when you're

499
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: starting when I haven't figured out to day, but I'm

500
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: going to try to do it with a big group

501
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: of people and I'll probably turn it into like a

502
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: group crowdsource, some sort of media project where I try

503
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: to get a bunch of people to do with me

504
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: and we learned what we can along the way. Maybe

505
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: I turned into an audio documentary something amazing. I love that.

506
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 1: I even just love that. Please, I even just love

507
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: that that You're gonna pull people in on it with you,

508
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: because I think people are going to jump in on

509
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,400
Speaker 1: that with you. For sure. One thing to be more

510
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 1: motivated if I know other people are in it. True, Yeah,

511
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 1: very much. Um have you ever heard of I've talked

512
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: about it here on the show. You ever heard of

513
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: the five factors of health? No? Give it to me.

514
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: So there's a term. Ben burger On kind of coined

515
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: this term, the five factors of health. Um, and health

516
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: leads to our happiness a lot. And it's the old quote.

517
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: He who has his health has a thousand wishes, he

518
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 1: who doesn't has but one. And so health. So then

519
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 1: if I'm looking for the best happiness, I'm going to

520
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 1: prioritize my health. This is me personally, and so here

521
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 1: are the five factors of health. Um, how how we sleep, eat, move,

522
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: think and connect? So how we sleep, eat, move, think

523
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,719
Speaker 1: and connect? Are kind of the five factors of health.

524
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: Then there's a couple more factors that can that are

525
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: kind of on the outskirts of like genetics. Like genetics

526
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: play a little part in it, but then also the

527
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: atmosphere you live in. Do you live in a really

528
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 1: smoggy city or do you live up in the Pacific

529
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: Northwest where you're in the mountains and nature everything. So

530
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: there's there's outside factors, but the main ones that we

531
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: can control on the daily are sleep, eat, move, think,

532
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: and connect with people. And so if people look at that,

533
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: people can can find a better route to happiness by

534
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: looking like, right now, people are missing out on connection

535
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: big time. So maybe they're working out, maybe they're sleeping better,

536
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: maybe they're they're moving, or they're thinking positive, but they

537
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: aren't getting connection and so they don't feel happy. But

538
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: the thing that I would love to challenge you with

539
00:28:55,920 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: when you do this brain thing is sleep. Sleep sleep sleep.

540
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: Rest is a weapon. We would say that in in

541
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: hockey would say rest is a weapon. Let us rest

542
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: because if we rested, like last night, I wear this

543
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: band on my wrist right here. This tracks my sleep

544
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: and last night I got this is the whoop three

545
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: point oh strap whoop three point oh okay. Um, and

546
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: my mental acuity, my mental sharpness is infinitely better when

547
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: I sleep properly. And it's it's the number one factor

548
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: of health that I prioritize in my life. So when

549
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: you're doing your brain experiment, I would encourage you to

550
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: incorporate sleep in it. I love that. Man. Have you

551
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: heard Arianna Huffington's podcast At all I have? But sleep

552
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: is her mission? Yeah. The rest is a weapon. Yeah,

553
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: because because if I sleep, if I sleep well, I'm

554
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: gonna wake up with energy. Um, I'm gonna make a

555
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: good conscious nutritional decision on gonna want to move my

556
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: body because I have energy, I'm going to have positive

557
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: mindset and most likely I'm gonna want to be around

558
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: people like if you wake up, if you had a

559
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: tough sleep and then your daughter's goofing off in the morning,

560
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: or like you're like, oh, maybe like babe, what are

561
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: you they're sweetie? What are you doing here? But if

562
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 1: you're in a great place, you're probably more receptible. Look

563
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: how playful she is. Look, look she's gooping around on

564
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,959
Speaker 1: It can totally reshape our mindset. And also it's not

565
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: just about how much sleep you get, but it's about

566
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: the quality of sleep you get. And there's all these

567
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: things that affect your quality of sleep, such as you know,

568
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 1: like I was talking to someone about sleep just last

569
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: week and they were like, Okay, what time you go

570
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: to bed? You I'm like that ten thirty. Sometimes I've

571
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: like okay, no caffeine afternoon. Okay, no caffeine afternoon. No

572
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: screens within like three hours of sleeping ideally. Uh, there's

573
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: all these things that affect and going to sleep at

574
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: the exact same time. Ritual and rhythm is actually a

575
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: really big part of sleep as well. Um. None of

576
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: the are part of my life, and none of them

577
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: come naturally to me. I've I've like my whole my

578
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: my operating system for my entire life has been premised

579
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: on uh, imbalanced and spontaneity. Uh and a lack of predictability.

580
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: Routine was actually the enemy. But now that I'm a

581
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: dad and I'm getting a little older, and I'm just

582
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: it's something that I'm really craving for. Behavioral standpoint is

583
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: something that I really you know, I'm trying to incubate

584
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: because right now I'm crushing beer and I'm making I'm

585
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: like making these eggs sandwiches on brioche buns four times

586
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: a week that are incredible. I'm eating ice cream. I'm

587
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: also living an incredible life at this very moment that

588
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm amazing. So that's awesome too. But everything that moderation,

589
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: there's balance, there's balance, like that's happiness, right if you

590
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: want to be that's that's that's also grace. Like I

591
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: loved before how you said you're you're accepting yourself more.

592
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: That's grace versus beating yourself up. I shouldn't drink these beers.

593
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have the this bond. I should be moving

594
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: or a better diet, like allowing yourself because this and

595
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: this is coming from my own uh failure in this

596
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: as I never gave myself any grace as an athlete.

597
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: It was like strict, it was black and white, there

598
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: was no gray, there was no grace. And so I've

599
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: found that more in my life. Dude, I want to

600
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: hear more about uh this mini this little docuseries that

601
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: you have Rebbie Hotel's pursuit of happiness. Can you tell

602
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: us what you saw? I want to get back on

603
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: the happiness train. What you saw around the world your experiences.

604
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: Can you tell our listeners what is the show and

605
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: then give us some stories from the show relating to

606
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: what you found happiness to be throughout the world. So

607
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: in every episode of Pursuit of Happiness, which again is

608
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: on HBO Max right now, UM, I travel with someone

609
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: in my life that I love or admire or both

610
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: and we have some big question about life. And generally speaking,

611
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: we picked big questions that I was already talking about

612
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: in therapy, so stuff that I felt was kind of

613
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,479
Speaker 1: urgent in my life, and it would be that question

614
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: that takes us to an international destination where we got

615
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: to see how a different culture was handling that question.

616
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: So we went to Mexico, my my, my parents, and

617
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: I uh to one of the hottest retirement destinations for expats.

618
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: And that episode was about retirement and aging, and that

619
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: came out of a conversation and therapy. I was talking

620
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: about therapist and saying, Hey, I'm at this age where

621
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: I'm starting to realize, like people's my friends, parents are

622
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: starting to pass away, and I'm starting to feel kind

623
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: of older now, and this idea of mortality is starting

624
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 1: to settle settle in and I'm wondering how I can

625
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: go about asking the questions about my parents that I

626
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: might be asking after they've passed away. I wish I

627
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: would have asked earlier. And I and also part of

628
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: that came out of just being a father. You know,

629
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: I have a three year old daughter and be one

630
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: of the most one of the most beautiful parts of

631
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: becoming a father is the empathy you get for your

632
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: own parents because you realize, like, like, I look at

633
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I had this realization, oh, I'm I'm there, baby,

634
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: like I'm there like and and all I want for

635
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: my daughter is to like to have a great life,

636
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: but also I want us to love each other and

637
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: to be each other's lives forever. And and you know,

638
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: Americans have become so individualized in private, and we actually

639
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: live geographically further away from our parents. We don't see

640
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,760
Speaker 1: our families as much as it feels like we should.

641
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: And I feel like our parents generation got kind of

642
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: screwed because I don't think that's what they thought it

643
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: was gonna be like. And I think now, I don't know,

644
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out a way to to picks

645
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: that because that because because uh, you know, I love

646
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: my parents and I. And by the way, that's a

647
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: big reason why my wife and I are talking about

648
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: moving to these coast is to be close to them. Um.

649
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: So that's that Mexico episode. There's another episode. I went

650
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,240
Speaker 1: to Japan with my wife and that episode is about

651
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: parenting and marriage. Um. Japan known for doing everything, and

652
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: it's in the most innovative ways, especially the way they

653
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: raised their kids, who are incredibly well behaved and mature. Um.

654
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: You know, we had this one scene where we followed

655
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,439
Speaker 1: this kid who had just turned six and he's doing

656
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: this this tradition UH called the first errand um where

657
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 1: he the kid goes by himself through this city to

658
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: go buy groceries from a grocery store at the age

659
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: of six. Yeah, and it was like totally everyone seemed

660
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 1: cool with it. He knew what he was doing. He

661
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: was extremely confident. It was insane. Um. Could you imagine

662
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: letting your daughter in three years it's somewhere in l

663
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: A to get one. I wouldn't trust her too. I

664
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: wouldn't trust the city like I would be. I would

665
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 1: think it's not safe enough. So that was you know,

666
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: that episode was just so fun and a great conversation

667
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: about you know, probably what's the most important business in

668
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: my life right now, which is my family. Uh uh.

669
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,959
Speaker 1: And that then we did an episode in Denmark which

670
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: was more about a question that's urgently American for me

671
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: right now, which is how do we decide who our

672
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,720
Speaker 1: family is. It's quite it's quite a conversation about intersectionality.

673
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: The reason why we went to Denmark was because it's

674
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 1: most of us only know it is the happiest place

675
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: in the world, but it turns out it's only so

676
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 1: it's only happy if you're white. Um, it's not so

677
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 1: great for its immigrants and refugees and so it actually

678
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: they're experiencing. Their situation is actually not dissimilar from some

679
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: of the big issues we're dealing with in this country

680
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: right now. So that was a really compelling uh it's

681
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: journey for me. And then the other episode was in

682
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: South Korea with my buddy Matt, and that was about

683
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: work life balance, uh in a country that's experiencing it

684
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: as well. So you know, each episode truly was a

685
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: life changing journey for me, and I set out to

686
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: do that when I got a chance to have my

687
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: own show, because one I'm at this age where I

688
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: realized that shows projects work, like relying on the success

689
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: of these things in the future is not reliable. And also,

690
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: especially like I've been on so many canceled shows, I know,

691
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: shows come and go. So I wanted to come up

692
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: with the concept where I'm like, I'm gonna enjoy this

693
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: no matter regardless of if anyone watches it, it will

694
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: have still been a life changing journey for me. But

695
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 1: then beyond that, Um, if I really was having a

696
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: life changing journey, then that's going to come across on

697
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: camera and hopefully make the show. Yes, absolutely authentic, genuine Yeah,

698
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 1: um what what are what were you some of your

699
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: biggest takeaways of happiness through this journey, through the places

700
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: you you visited. What were some of the things that

701
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 1: hit you the artists, like, really struck you and changed

702
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, So in Mexico, you know, it was

703
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,839
Speaker 1: really a conversation about what do we all kind of

704
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: want together in this next phase of life? And ah,

705
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 1: you know, I think going to Mexico it taught me

706
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One I didn't realize that, you know,

707
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: because everyone's living so much longer now, retirement is not

708
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: just one phase. It's kind of a couple of phases.

709
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: There's just all spring break phase that they get to

710
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: do before they before the kind of final you know decline,

711
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: I guess and so um and and then also I think, yeah,

712
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: I think I always assumed that my family would come

713
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: live close to me or near me wherever I was.

714
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 1: And it just got me thinking that, like, no, like

715
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 1: they have their friends and their life where they are,

716
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: if anything, I should come closer to them, and why not?

717
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: Uh uh? And I also just from hanging out with

718
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: a bunch of retire people there there's a lot of

719
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: things about that lifestyle where I started thinking, there's a

720
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: lot of this I don't have to wait for retirement

721
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: to pursue the community elements of that lifestyle something that

722
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: I want today. Can you speak to that a little

723
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: bit more? Yeah, I mean, I think you know, community

724
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: in America is it's been going away for a long

725
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 1: time because we're so individual, because we're privatized, because we're

726
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 1: not codependent in any way. We're not dependent in the

727
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: way that we used to be. Um, if you want ah,

728
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 1: if you need food, you get it from grocer store.

729
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,399
Speaker 1: You don't need your neighbor. You have an app where

730
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: you can order from in fact, to the grocery store.

731
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 1: You need to ride to the airport. We take uber

732
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: Like there's literally no reason your own parents. You don't

733
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: need them. They used to be needed for wisdom and

734
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: like now you just google things, you have questions. So, um,

735
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: we just don't need each other anymore. And as in

736
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: that intend with just a society that really values its

737
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: individuality and its privacy. You know, we've seen a demise

738
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: of the American neighborhood. There's not m yeah, seeing other

739
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: front yards and and run around and he used to

740
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: be really safe and the neighbors used to watch each

741
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: other's kids and you know, you're walking down there's just

742
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: that just doesn't exist anymore. And Um, seeing that that

743
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,800
Speaker 1: was kind of what a lot of people were seeking

744
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: in retirement. I think it was like a real reminder

745
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: that you know, we really want that in our lives,

746
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: and we're willing to make real sacrifices to find a

747
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: way to bring that into our lives, you know. And

748
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: again that's a big reason why we're talk about leaving

749
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 1: l A interesting Yeah, and what I've learned that, like

750
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: we were talking before the show started, Um, but living

751
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 1: in the Hollywood Hills. Um, every house is gated, which

752
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: keeps people out but also keeps you in. And so,

753
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,959
Speaker 1: like you said, there's no front yard, there's no seeing

754
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: your neighbor every single day, like you can live. You

755
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: can live in an area and not know you live

756
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: somewhere for five years and not know the person that's

757
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: three houses down because you never see them because they

758
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: drive in their gate and then they drive out their

759
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 1: gate and there's no actual face to face interaction. Um. Yeah,

760
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 1: it's especially hard to places like l A too, because

761
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: in cities in general, there's such a culture of achievement. Um,

762
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 1: And I think that affects the community elements when you

763
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: know that any time you're hanging out with someone that

764
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:34,879
Speaker 1: the most interesting thing about them is their career. Right yeah, yeah, Um,

765
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,359
Speaker 1: what did you learn in the South Korea episode about

766
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 1: work life balance? Because that's a big thing I think

767
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: a lot of people are struggling with, especially right now,

768
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,919
Speaker 1: where both of those worlds are collided because their kids

769
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: are at home, their partner or spouses at home, you're

770
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: trying to work at home. But just in general, what

771
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: did you learn from your takeaway from the South Korea

772
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 1: episode about work life balance. So so they're doing some

773
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: interesting things to combat workaholism in Korea. Uh Like, for example,

774
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: we walked along this one bridge they call the suicide Bridge,

775
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: I think that's the name of it. It's right off

776
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: the street, and it's become such a problem that the

777
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:14,280
Speaker 1: government has put these images of these inspirational messages along

778
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: with images of delicious food. The idea being that if

779
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 1: you see delicious food, it reminds you of your childhood,

780
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: connects you to the world, and hopefully dissuades you from

781
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: jez you know, it takes you away from the loneliness

782
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: that that is connected to suicide. But probably my favorite

783
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: scene of the series was this place we went to

784
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: called the Death Cafe, the death Cafe, and it's like

785
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: a cafe. You walk in, says death Cafe on the door,

786
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 1: go to the receptionists, you sign it, and you pay,

787
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: and what you're basically paying for is simulating your own death.

788
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: So we walked in signed this thing. We sat in

789
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,399
Speaker 1: the waiting room where we had to fill out our

790
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 1: own eulogies. Then this guy took a picture of us

791
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: and that would go on our casket. Then we were

792
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: let into a room with a with a bunch of

793
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,760
Speaker 1: caskets and we faked. We like laid in these caskets

794
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 1: for like ten minutes, and then we got up and

795
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: we read our eulogies and it was I mean, I'm

796
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 1: excited watch this because it will blow your mind. Uh.

797
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: It's really eye opening when you read your own eulogy

798
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 1: because if you really think about what people are saying,

799
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with your work. It has

800
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 1: everything to do with just who you are. Yeah, well,

801
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: so I want to hear more about that because that's

802
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: such an interesting experience that there must have been revelations

803
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: to yourself, like whoa I was given putting way too

804
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 1: much stock in this. I've learned now that I need

805
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 1: to prioritize this. This is actually what my heart wants,

806
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 1: This is what fulfills me. This is what joy is

807
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 1: to me. That's what happiness is to me. Anything specific

808
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 1: come to mind there? No, I think Actually the realization

809
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: is the one that you already said that you're pursuing

810
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: in your own life, which is trying to find a

811
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: way to make your day, your your your daily life

812
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 1: aligned with my life goals, with your life goals. That's

813
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: that's really what you know you know, the idea of

814
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: work life balance is it's it's it's a little confusing because,

815
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 1: first of all, it bifurcates work in life, which these

816
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: days isn't necessarily the case. A lot of times those

817
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: two things overlap. And beyond that, um life is just

818
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 1: more nuanced than those two things. So I would say, like, mainly,

819
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: what you realize we all worry about working life, but

820
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: what we really need to worry about is not how

821
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 1: much working or how much we're not working. What we

822
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 1: need to be thinking about is not work or life,

823
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: but just time. How much time we have, what we're

824
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 1: doing with their time. What's a measure for you? That's

825
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:53,760
Speaker 1: a great question. What's a measure for you that allows

826
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 1: you to calibrate and decide, Yes, this is worth my

827
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: time or no, it's not worth my time. How do

828
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: you make that decision? Well, it depends. I mean, I'm

829
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna really I'm gonna kind of like you. I'm

830
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: in a position of privilege and I'm well aware of it.

831
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: Where you earned that you are, that I've earned, and

832
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 1: that that I have choices about my time. Look, i

833
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 1: mean people just don't have choices, or at least feel

834
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: like they don't have choices because they have to pay

835
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 1: bills and whatever else. Like I, I guess for me,

836
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: as long as I can control it, I have a

837
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 1: triple bottom line approach to my time, which is is

838
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,840
Speaker 1: it something that I enjoy, Is it's something that's giving

839
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: me growth, and is it something that's connecting me to

840
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: the people I love? I would say, like, those things

841
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,959
Speaker 1: are the ones that I chase. It's what I got

842
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,439
Speaker 1: out of I made this documentary with my sister called

843
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: me the Patels that became. It was this crazy thing.

844
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: We spent so much time making it and then you know,

845
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: it changed our changed our careers, but it also changed

846
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: your lives. And the one thing I really got out

847
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: of it was, for the first time in life, I

848
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: saw how purposeful work can be, and how introspective it

849
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: can be, how can bring me close to my loved ones.

850
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: And once you get that feeling that buzz um, you

851
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: start chasing it and everything you do. M Yeah, it's

852
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: impossible to go backwards from that. Yeah, right. It's impossible

853
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 1: to do a job that you hate just for the money,

854
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 1: or to do somethingwhere to work with people you don't enjoy.

855
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 1: You're like, no, it's it's the same as being on

856
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: a team. When you're on a team when a culture

857
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 1: and the product on the ice and what you guys

858
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: are doing to creating together is amazing and just there's

859
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: symmetry there and just chemistry. You're like, I'm never I'm

860
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: never not being on a team where there's dissension and

861
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 1: arguments like like we I want to be in a

862
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: culture that's uplifting, empowering, inspiring, together, supportive, and we're working

863
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 1: together to a common goal. And then I'll never And

864
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: so any team that I'm on, and it used to

865
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 1: be sports teams, now it could be a business or entrepreneurship,

866
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: a podcast team. Any team that I'm on, I'm going

867
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 1: to try and foster that because I'll never put myself

868
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: in an environment where that doesn't exist again, and I'll

869
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: do everything in my power to make it exists. Dude,

870
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: that's awesome, man. Good for you. That's one of the

871
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: things I learned from sport, you know. Yeah, But I

872
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: also feel like you learned from sport that you need.

873
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like you're three years out. It

874
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: must be so hard. I don't know. I feel like

875
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 1: I've seen this in so many athletes where you feel

876
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: the need to feel relevant, like socially, like from the outside,

877
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 1: like what's my next big thing? I feel like it's

878
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: the thing that a lot of athletes ask themselves. And

879
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're for whatever reason, you have a

880
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: very healthy mindset about this, which is like, you know,

881
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: I'm whatever I do. I want it to be about

882
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 1: my own inner growth. And that's I don't think most

883
00:47:54,760 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: people are blessed even feel bad, m Um, I never

884
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: played the sport. Maybe I'm lucky because I never played

885
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: the sport for that. I played the sport because I

886
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 1: love the competition and I love the sport, and so

887
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 1: the money was secondary, The fame was secondary, tertiary, like

888
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 1: it was like that's the never That wasn't what drove me. Um,

889
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't probably a ceiling if those other

890
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: things are the ones driving you right right then, and

891
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't think those are enough

892
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: to drive somebody to go to the depths that we

893
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: must go to to elevate to that level. That's not

894
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: enough compensation. Yeah, the internal personal reward, the goal and

895
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: the happiness, the happiness that you get from it is

896
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: what drives you. That's irreplaceable. That's and uh, it's It

897
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 1: reminds me of a great I can't remember where I

898
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 1: heard it or who said it, but one of the

899
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 1: greatest quotes I ever heard about happiness was that the

900
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 1: goal of all other goals is happiness. Yeah, And when

901
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: you think about it, the goal of all other goals,

902
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 1: Like why did I want to play in the NHL?

903
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 1: Because I loved I love playing hockey. It's just my

904
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 1: soul's expression. Every day it made me happy. Um, why

905
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 1: do I want to win a Stanley couple? I want

906
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 1: to be a champion. I want to be able to

907
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 1: say I'm the best in the world. Why because it

908
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 1: makes me happy? Why do I want to buy this car? Oh,

909
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: because it's just it looks so cool and I want

910
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: to drive it. And what is that emotion that I

911
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 1: get from its happiness? The goal of all other goals

912
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: is happiness. And so I keep that in mind now,

913
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 1: and so I compare everything too. Does this add happiness

914
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,919
Speaker 1: or or detract happiness? So I'm at my lake house

915
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 1: right now up in the Pacific Northwest. I can go

916
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: out on the water. It's beach, it's waterfront. I can

917
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: go on the water I could fish right now, hunting

918
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 1: seasons right around the corner. I have a husky that

919
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: I could hike with. I have a home gym, I

920
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 1: could work out, and I can do anything I want.

921
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 1: So choosing to be here with you is my happiness

922
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: right now because I don't need to be and so

923
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: I measure everything else against against these other things that

924
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: bring me so much happiness. There's an opportunity cost every minute. Yeah, right,

925
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: and so but this is this is growth, this is communication,

926
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: this is connection, this is challenge for myself. I'm I'm

927
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: not a podcast host. I grew up as a hockey player.

928
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 1: So I want to challenge myself as And that's why

929
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 1: I have love having like actors and musicians and different

930
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,320
Speaker 1: people on because you guys are so multi talented, and

931
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, how does this How does this actor create

932
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 1: a film, executive produce, create a docuseries? Come up with

933
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: this concept executed? You know, is a humanitarian, is a father,

934
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: is a husband? Like I love seeing people that are

935
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: multi talented because it inspires me and so I get

936
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: to do That's one of the benefits I get of

937
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:39,879
Speaker 1: doing this podcast is meeting people like yourself that then

938
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 1: give me inspirations find like house like that. I don't

939
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: know that i'd be here, but I appreciate that you're

940
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: doing it. Appreciate it. Man. Um, do you think do

941
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: you think the measure of happiness could be different from

942
00:50:54,680 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 1: person to person? Yeah, I mean probably. I don't really

943
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:05,439
Speaker 1: know the answer to that, but I mean I think

944
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: I think if we're just talking about dudes, I think

945
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 1: most dudes, most of us, don't think about happiness, most

946
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: of us. Why is that? Well, I think, first of all,

947
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 1: I think most men aren't conditioned to think about emotions.

948
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: Number one. Um, we're not conditioned to look inward. And

949
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 1: I also think that there's something I think. I think

950
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: like I sometimes wonder, I'm like, I wish I was like,

951
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 1: you know, there was a version of me when I

952
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: was younger that was so happy, but wasn't thinking about

953
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 1: whether or not I was happy. I was never thinking

954
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: about what it takes to be happy. And it had

955
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,439
Speaker 1: a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't

956
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: thinking about it. Thinking about how happy you are can

957
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 1: in a way of reduced how happy you are because

958
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:55,959
Speaker 1: you're paying it. So I'm I'm, I'm. It's interesting because

959
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: I think in a lot of ways. I'm I put

960
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 1: so much effort in of being happier, but the place

961
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to is the place where I'm

962
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: not thinking about it anymore. Um. Yeah, I think it's

963
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: probably different for everyone. I don't really know. I just

964
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 1: I just know for me, it's something that I'm trying

965
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: to work on. Yeah, I think it's constant pursuit. I

966
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: think there's a pursuit. I always say I'm relentless in

967
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 1: my pursuit of happiness, But I also believe that there's

968
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: a complete opposite side to the coin of the grace

969
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:31,720
Speaker 1: component of I don't need to do anything to be happy,

970
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 1: just being here, like breathing, breathing right like. But this is,

971
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: this is. This has come from my own mistakes and

972
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 1: where I needed to achieve, as you said, I need

973
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: to achieve. I needed to be purposed. I needed to

974
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: end up number one to be happy. I was very measured. Um,

975
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: but now I want I'm trying to add grace into

976
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: my life where I'm like, I wake up, my legs

977
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 1: can move me anywhere I want. I have air in

978
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 1: my lungs, oxygen my lungs. I am happy, I'm blessed,

979
00:52:56,520 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: beyond belief in the grace of life. You know, just

980
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,760
Speaker 1: because of those two things, we get to wake up today.

981
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 1: There's people that woke up yesterday that didn't get to

982
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:10,479
Speaker 1: wake up today. You know that is so just finding Yeah,

983
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: so I know you have to go, brother, Um, I

984
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:14,960
Speaker 1: know you have things on your on your plate that

985
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: you have to go, but i'd love to. I'd love

986
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: to continue this conversation with you. I love that you've

987
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: added what you've added to our community here, and I

988
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: think it's such a relevant topic. I'd love to hear

989
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 1: any last. First off, give our our listeners one more

990
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 1: touch point on the show on where they can find

991
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: Robbi Patel's Pursuit of Happiness. You can find it on

992
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 1: HBO Max Today, which is uh, it's a streaming service.

993
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 1: It's like HBO's version of Netflix, I guess. So you

994
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: can find it online. I believe it's still not on

995
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: Roku or Amazon Fire, which is going to annoy people,

996
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 1: but you can I don't know. You can find on

997
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 1: Apple TV and your laptop and whatever else we can. Yeah,

998
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 1: where I want to tune infest? Sure where can people

999
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 1: find you? Where you hang out? So I just recently

1000
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: made my Instagram handle public it's at show me the Rubby. Yeah,

1001
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 1: my Twitter is the same thing. Um. Yeah, And you know,

1002
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 1: I hope if anyone who's listening, if you watch the show,

1003
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 1: please uh please holerate me on Instagram or Twitter and

1004
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 1: tell me what you think. Certainly poured my heart into it,

1005
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 1: so I appreciate you help me get the word out. Man. Yeah,

1006
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: I love it. I can't wait to do I'm really

1007
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,360
Speaker 1: excited just about the concepts. I love the four topics

1008
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 1: that you covered in the show. So, um, I'm gonna

1009
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 1: tune into it tonight for sure, I'm gonna tune into

1010
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 1: that workaholism. We'll tell me what you think that after

1011
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 1: you watch it, all right, Yeah, that'll be the first

1012
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 1: one I want to watch. Um. And then any last

1013
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,760
Speaker 1: words for our listeners on happiness, on how to achieve

1014
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:52,479
Speaker 1: happiness in their lives. I don't know, try to try

1015
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 1: to try to try to nurture love, you know, try

1016
00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: to try to try to have someone or something the

1017
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,720
Speaker 1: world that you're in charge of. Um. Because caring for people,

1018
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: caring for things, UM, that gives you purpose and uh,

1019
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: you know that's that's where the juice is. I just

1020
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: love that word. Like love. I love that you went

1021
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 1: to love dude, Robbie. I know you gotta run, so

1022
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: I'll let you go, brother. But thank you for your time. Dude.

1023
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: You brought so much happiness to me, to our listeners,

1024
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 1: and you're good. Dude. Let's do this. Let's do happiness

1025
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 1: two point oh in the coming months. Would love him,

1026
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 1: would love it to show up. I will tell him

1027
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 1: I miss him. Okay, I'll tell Gab. I'll send him

1028
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: right now. He'll have FOMO on this. But changing my friend,

1029
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 1: And to all our listeners, all our listeners, I wish

1030
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: you just a wealth of health and happiness. Um. I

1031
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 1: know times are tough right now, but tough times the

1032
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 1: last tough people do. And I wish you all the

1033
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 1: happiness in the world. Thank you for tuning into another

1034
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 1: episode of How Man Think till next week. Take care

1035
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 1: of one another, love one another, and I hope your

1036
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: hearts are happy.