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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to season three, sixteen, episode

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Speaker 1: two of.

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Speaker 2: Daly's Gay Yay.

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Speaker 1: Production of iHeartRadio. This is a podcast where we take

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Speaker 1: a deep dive into America's share consciousness. And it's Tuesday,

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Speaker 1: December fifth, twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 2: You know what that is. Of course I know what

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Speaker 2: that is, Miles, Oh, because it is real sneaky. I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to sneak up on you. Because it's International

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Speaker 2: Ninja Day, that's right. I'm like, that did not come

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Speaker 2: from Japan, but shout out to all the people who

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Speaker 2: buy those graphic shirts out a alkiosk who when you google.

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Speaker 1: When you google International Ninja Day, first of all, it

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Speaker 1: tells you what day, what day it is. I was

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Speaker 1: assuming this was one where it's like, well, they're like

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Speaker 1: three different International Ninja Days. And one of the things

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Speaker 1: that you can do how to celebrate train in the

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Speaker 1: art of ninjitsu.

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Speaker 2: Oh, but also watch a ninja movie.

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Speaker 1: And one of the ninja movies they recommend is Teenage

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Speaker 1: Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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Speaker 2: So very very yes, very very authentic, culturally relive event.

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Speaker 2: I love that kind of visibility for all of us. Also,

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Speaker 2: it's Bathtub Party Day that I think that's just like

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Speaker 2: for you know, your babies, you know, bathe them in

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Speaker 2: the bathtub and have a little bit of a party.

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Speaker 2: It's also World Trick Shot Day. It's National Repeal Day,

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Speaker 2: meaning the repeal of prohibition, World Soil Day, shout out

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Speaker 2: to soil. And also it's Crampus knocked. Yeah, that's when

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Speaker 2: crampis the evil evil Santa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is

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Speaker 2: when he I guess this is when he.

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Speaker 1: Punishes the children I get anytime knocked comes up, I'm just.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it's not a good history. Wait, wait, we're

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Speaker 2: going that. We're going that. Okay, it's a made up

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Speaker 2: evil Santa.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: And also it's I don't know what this is, but

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Speaker 2: National Soccer tort Day. It's like a cake that looks

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Speaker 2: like a chocolate cake, but I don't know what that

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Speaker 2: is with regards to the bathtub party. One time.

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Speaker 1: In our party home, tiny home in Santa Monica, and

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Speaker 1: we had somebody come out and look at it, and

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Speaker 1: I think he thought we were like a landlord or

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Speaker 1: like somebody who was like selling it. He didn't think

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Speaker 1: we were the people who lived there. And he came

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Speaker 1: to me and took me aside and was like, look, man,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what these people have been doing, but

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Speaker 1: I think they've been having whoopye parties in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm that's me and that is correct.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what woopy parties are, not just.

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Speaker 2: I love the idea of what whoopye parties? How woo

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Speaker 2: a character Griffin?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but so that just means like swingers? Is that

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Speaker 1: what that means? Like you sex parties in the or

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Speaker 1: bathroom or a tiny, tiny bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Or are you making, like the confectionery Delight, a whoopee pie?

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Speaker 2: And they got a whole factory line you're making whoopee pies?

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Speaker 2: You know it's yeah, they're doing it here.

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Speaker 1: But it turned out that we just didn't have a

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Speaker 1: proper seal over the toilet that his Horny Lonely the

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Speaker 1: subjects of today's episode Lonely Imagination went immediately to just

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Speaker 1: like giant bathroom orgies.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's the same way we were talking the

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Speaker 2: other day about how when people were first discovering dinosaur bones,

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Speaker 2: the guy was just like, yeah, that's a scrotum, not

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Speaker 2: a bone of a gigantic dinosaur.

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Speaker 1: A scrotum of a giant human like he had to

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Speaker 1: come up with a whole new type of human that

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Speaker 1: He's like, Yeah, what you're looking at there is the

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Speaker 1: scrotum of a giant. And I'm a doctor and you're like,

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Speaker 1: oh boys, a physician. Please let us get to the

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Speaker 1: next entry. Anyways, my name's Jack O'Brien aka Hot Miles

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Speaker 1: Jacking in the City Zeidema. Guy's getting dirt and gritty.

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Speaker 1: That is courtesy of Andrew at Bohemian Rahap City on

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Speaker 1: the Discord City spelled like city Bank because he is

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Speaker 1: officially sponsored by them. When I'm thrilled to be joined

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Speaker 1: as always by my co host mister.

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Speaker 2: Miles Greg Miles Gray Kay, just the man whose body

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Speaker 2: still continues to recover from a gravy based fantasy. Like

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Speaker 2: I said, I am had so much gravy from Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 2: I still have gravy and I will not throw it away.

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Speaker 2: I will not throw it away. I will use it

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Speaker 2: however I want to. I'll put it on a hot dog.

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Speaker 2: I don't care well gravy. Unfortunately, gravy doesn't go bad.

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Speaker 2: Has never gone bad in my professional opinion, because I've

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Speaker 2: also never it's never lasted very long. No, I'm always

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Speaker 2: I'm always at the man. We already were already out

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Speaker 2: of gravy.

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Speaker 1: And the end of that equation exactly too quick, exactly Well, Miles,

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Speaker 1: we are thrilled to be joined in our third seat

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Speaker 1: by the author of the new book The Power of

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Speaker 1: Conscious Connection, a Harvard fellow who holds a Masters in

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Speaker 1: Education and Counseling Psychology. Welcome to the show, Talia full.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's going on. How are you well?

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Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm thinking about Raphael from the Teenage Mutan

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Speaker 3: Ninja Turtles because every time I hear about that, I

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Speaker 3: have this desire for pizza. Yeah, and I'm not eating

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Speaker 3: it anymore, so thanks, thanks for that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And every time I hear about gravy, I have

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Speaker 1: the I want to get some pizza.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I should try that. This is the thing. When

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Speaker 2: you have this much gravy, you can experiment. I'll put

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Speaker 2: it on vanilla ice cream. I have not tried that

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Speaker 2: and pretend it's like caramel sauce. I might try that.

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Speaker 2: I have enough time to do that.

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Speaker 1: Last week you were talking about matted potato pancakes and

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Speaker 1: using the gravy as syrup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and pretty good, I mean, yeah, however you

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Speaker 2: want to look at it.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm going to chime in here as a

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Speaker 3: little bit of a guru already, is if you have

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Speaker 3: too much gravy, this is a time in life we

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Speaker 3: need to let it go. I don't know, Miles what

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Speaker 3: it's going to take for you to change that behavior.

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Speaker 3: But sometimes in life, if it's overflowing, you need to

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Speaker 3: just let go and surrender.

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Speaker 2: To our need for gravy. Yeah right, So.

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Speaker 3: Release the need for gravy. Release me for all of

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Speaker 3: these extra things.

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Speaker 2: What I mean, I'd hate to show you my garage

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Speaker 2: because you'll be like, wow, you have a lot of

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Speaker 2: paint left over from a different house projects. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: that's gravy from years past. I will not let them go.

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Speaker 1: Why is the part of your face below your nose

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Speaker 1: so shiny turkey grease?

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Speaker 2: Probably all the rendered fat from the gravy. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. When you're sure sleeve becomes translucent as

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Speaker 2: you with it, yeah, maybe I will. You know what

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Speaker 2: it is. I think it's just like a waste thing,

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Speaker 2: you know. But the thing is, I'm it's gonna be

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Speaker 2: gone within the next thirty six hours. I know this

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Speaker 2: this I do know, so I think will be okay,

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Speaker 2: or maybe I get ill and then I have to

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Speaker 2: stop eating it. We'll see.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, Talia, we're gonna get to know you

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Speaker 1: a little bit better in a moment. First, we're telling

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Speaker 1: our listeners just what we're talking about today.

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Speaker 2: We wanted to have you on.

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Speaker 1: Your new book is at least partially about the loneliness epidemic,

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Speaker 1: which is something that comes up a lot on this show,

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Speaker 1: you know what, whether it be health statistics or just

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Speaker 1: how we're feeling generally, or the Surgeon General being like,

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Speaker 1: there is a acute crisis, which he has recently kind

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Speaker 1: of announced not cute, not a cute crisis, and acute crisis,

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Speaker 1: got it intense. It's not one of those adorable crises.

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Speaker 1: But so yeah, we're going to get into that and

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Speaker 1: just how we're thinking about loneliness in this modern era

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Speaker 1: of constant communication. Yeah, and you know, lots of connection

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Speaker 1: in quotes, but lots of interpersonal feelings of loneliness. But

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Speaker 1: before we get to that bullshit, we do like to

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Speaker 1: ask our guest, Holly, what is something from your search

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Speaker 1: history that's revealing about who you are?

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Speaker 3: Well, I was going to share what I searched this morning.

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Speaker 3: I was just looking up I have. I had so

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Speaker 3: many family members in my house over the holidays, so

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Speaker 3: I was thinking about I'm always thinking about howking up

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Speaker 3: my game. And I have this app. It's a money

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Speaker 3: app and it just gives you a bunch of random

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Speaker 3: money to spend. So I got two hundred K that

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Speaker 3: I just supposed to spend randomly. So I'm already out

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Speaker 3: of money, so I'm gonna have to wait for the

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Speaker 3: next check to come. I spent it like in five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Are supposed to take me like a couple of days.

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Speaker 2: So that's wait.

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Speaker 1: Gives you fake money to spend. Yeah, I give you

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Speaker 1: just like this is this is what it would be like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So the concept is that the money keeps coming so

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Speaker 3: you never feel lacked.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I got it.

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Speaker 3: Kind of the gravy keeps coming. The money keeps coming,

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Speaker 3: so you can let it go.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for putting it in the context for us. Wait,

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Speaker 1: do you get it now, Miles? Do you get it?

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Speaker 2: Great? Imagine I got it like you just have a

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Speaker 2: Spikett in your house. I need to have an abundance

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Speaker 2: mentality around my gravy rather than scarcity mentality that I

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Speaker 2: currently have. Yeah, what tell you what's something you think

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Speaker 2: is overrated?

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Speaker 3: So I'm going to get an answer, and if I

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Speaker 3: was live, I get tomatoes thrown at me. But this

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Speaker 3: is what I want to be overrated. Sugar and like bread,

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Speaker 3: I think it's so good and so amazing, but it

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Speaker 3: really does not make me happy on so many levels.

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Speaker 3: It's it's so fleeting that as you're eating, I'm holding up.

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Speaker 1: So let me dip it in my bowl of sugar

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Speaker 1: now like you were.

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Speaker 3: Saying, Oh my gosh, I'm off sugar and flour my brain.

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of sad about this. My brain works so

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Speaker 3: much better, I'm so much more productive, I have so

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Speaker 3: much more energy. It's like all those things. But I

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Speaker 3: have this little voice in my head that's just like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you know, have a good time, just have a little bit.

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Speaker 3: And it's every time, I just don't feel that great after.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know, you know, Robin Sharma says he's

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Speaker 3: a leadership guy, says, you know everything in moderation, including moderation,

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Speaker 3: But some things I've just had to let go. One

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Speaker 3: of them's gravy, the other is sugar and flour.

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Speaker 2: O yeah. See, that's all in gravy. That's my problem,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, It's all there and I

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Speaker 2: can't turn my back. Oh no, you're gravy is very sugary.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's most people call it with some turkey

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Speaker 2: bones in it. But I'm telling you, I call it gravy. Baby. Wait, Jack,

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Speaker 2: you don't feel I know you were you? What's your

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Speaker 2: you get? You get? You eat a lot of bread,

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Speaker 2: and you there's your digestive system because I know, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you have definitely digestive issues when it comes to foods

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Speaker 2: like that. But I wasn't about you.

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Speaker 1: So I started doing the intermittent fasting, like after hearing

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Speaker 1: Iffy widy Way, a friend of the show, talk about

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Speaker 1: it for five years. I was eventually like maybe and

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Speaker 1: also like I I talked to the thing that finally

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Speaker 1: made it make sense to me is they were like, look,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to like focus on what you eat

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Speaker 1: if you just like fought like stick to these rules

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Speaker 1: that were like, you know, not not every day, but

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Speaker 1: like it's a sad number of days. And I've found

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Speaker 1: that to be true that like so much of like

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Speaker 1: how I feel and how much energy I have is

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Speaker 1: like really based on how well I'm eating and like

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Speaker 1: how much I'm eating and exactly what Tali said, like

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Speaker 1: I hate that, like.

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Speaker 2: It makes me so mad.

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Speaker 1: And then like over Thanksgiving holiday, I was like eating

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Speaker 1: pie after meals for like three straight meals and I

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Speaker 1: just felt like shit like that there's just too much

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Speaker 1: sugar hitting hitting my system all at once and I

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Speaker 1: swear it off. And then there's half a p COMPI

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Speaker 1: in my kitchen and I can't style myself. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: this this resonates such I will choose to uh believe

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Speaker 1: this after the COMPI is gone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right right, Like now, let's get to business.

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Speaker 1: Kirkland signature by the way, Kirkland signature of a Compie.

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Speaker 2: Kig. Yeah, Costco.

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Speaker 1: We did a lot of Thanksgiving shopping at Costco.

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Speaker 2: Saving what uh, what's something you think is underrated?

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Speaker 3: I think what's underrated is what people are able to

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Speaker 3: do when they listen to each other and they connect

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Speaker 3: or just connections. Of course, that's my book, so I'm

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Speaker 3: giving you that answer. But it's true, Like I really

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Speaker 3: do feel that we live in a society where it's

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Speaker 3: all about the individual and it's all about what we're doing.

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Speaker 3: But I think we underrate and even undervalue when people collaborate.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of like the you know, the Miles and

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Speaker 3: Jack collaboration. It's it's just the beauty of it when

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Speaker 3: it comes together. Something just is it right? With just

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Speaker 3: the SOULO? You gotta see what magic can happen together?

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Speaker 2: So what, Yeah, what do you think is like a

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Speaker 2: way people don't? I mean, like I totally get that,

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Speaker 2: especially when you know you're pleasantly surprised when you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that thing I worked on that was actually very very

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Speaker 2: enjoyable and actually ended up rendering something that was like

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Speaker 2: a good product or whatever it was. But like, what

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Speaker 2: do you you know, where are we missing that? Especially

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Speaker 2: you think in our day to day like in terms

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Speaker 2: of that collaboration, because I get obviously doing a show

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Speaker 2: is one way, and maybe when you're at work is another.

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Speaker 2: But are there other Because I think when we look

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Speaker 2: at collaboration we kind of most of the time we're

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Speaker 2: thinking of it in this very sort of like revenue

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Speaker 2: generating space, But like, how are we missing that too?

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Speaker 2: Like you know in our personal lives, you think.

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Speaker 3: Well, the more self centered we are, the more we

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Speaker 3: can become mentally unwell because we're stuck in our brains.

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Speaker 3: We've got all these thoughts going on in our brains

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Speaker 3: and we think that they're the only thoughts. We think

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Speaker 3: that they're right. We're creating things, and we think our

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Speaker 3: ideas are the best. So when you get kind of

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Speaker 3: stuck in your head, it creates almost this you know,

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Speaker 3: you don't feel well and you don't feel connected and

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Speaker 3: use the value of somebody being able to help you

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Speaker 3: think about something or do something differently. It's really the

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Speaker 3: core of all of our problems. A lot of people,

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Speaker 3: they have lots of challenges. All of us have problems,

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Speaker 3: and if we wanted to solve the problem, many of

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Speaker 3: us are not willing to be open to get help,

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Speaker 3: to listen to somebody else, to have that level of flexibility,

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Speaker 3: and so it really ruins a lot of stuff, this

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Speaker 3: kind of bullheadedness. I know what to do. I need

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Speaker 3: to get up and be on my own and go

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Speaker 3: at it alone. And then we start feeling sad and

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Speaker 3: we start feeling lonely, and then we start being fake

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Speaker 3: because you know, get that imposter syndrome where you're walking

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Speaker 3: around something like they're so yeah, you're just so great

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Speaker 3: and you're so good and then you connect with people

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Speaker 3: and you bring your your shadow self or you bring

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Speaker 3: kind of the veil, and everything in life just starts

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Speaker 3: getting really squirrely.

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Speaker 2: Right, I think, Yeah, it's like the part I think

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Speaker 2: especially maybe it's probably American culture, especially American like male

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Speaker 2: culture is very much rooted in like not allowing people

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Speaker 2: to see you struggle at all. Yes, So because of that,

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Speaker 2: you would go into things like I don't need to

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Speaker 2: know how to do this thing I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to do because I'm not gonna ask for help, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean. I can definitely see how that

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Speaker 2: happens a lot personally for me because I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: struggling perfectionist, and so the worst thing for a perfectionist

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Speaker 2: is like having people see you struggle.

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Speaker 3: So I totally feel that, Yeah, I'm a recovering perfection

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Speaker 3: Oh good good. I think when we ask people for help,

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Speaker 3: there's this guy there's this kind of feeling that that

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Speaker 3: makes them superior in some way, right, So like if

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Speaker 3: somebody else can figure out something in your life that

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Speaker 3: you can't, does that make them superior?

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Speaker 2: So? Right?

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Speaker 3: It also depends on who you go to for help

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Speaker 3: is really important, so.

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Speaker 2: Right, rather than someone who's like, oh, Talia, I guess

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Speaker 2: you needed help again. Did you well allow me to

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Speaker 2: help you one more time than some.

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Speaker 1: Well well well looking crawling back is what I imagine my

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Speaker 1: therapist saying before every one of our obsessions.

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Speaker 2: Oh so you didn't figure it out? Wow?

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Speaker 1: Did you listen to me last week?

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Speaker 3: Or watch out for people that use the word just

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Speaker 3: the word justice if they say, oh, you have to

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Speaker 3: do it, you just have to do this, you just

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Speaker 3: have to do that. So what it is is they're

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Speaker 3: they're trying to act like, you know, it's it's so easy,

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Speaker 3: and sometimes that word it's unintentional if you're if you're

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Speaker 3: listening and you use that word, don't worry. But it's

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Speaker 3: one of those things where if you say, just do this,

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Speaker 3: it's it's life can be hard and it seems simple,

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Speaker 3: but there's some stuff it takes a while for us

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Speaker 3: to change and to kind of get going.

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Speaker 1: So for sure, Yeah, Another thing that like we talk

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Speaker 1: about loosely on the show is that I think is

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Speaker 1: connected with this, is that a lot of the systems

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Speaker 1: and like our relationship to money and are like how

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Speaker 1: we think about work, Like I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: it feels very similar to addiction and like replacing human

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Speaker 1: like emotions or like narcissists are our presidents, and you know,

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Speaker 1: our celebrities in a lot of cases, and our culture

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Speaker 1: like holds them up on a pedestal. And I think

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Speaker 1: we're like shaping a lot of the systems that determine

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Speaker 1: our day to day lives in the image of narcissism.

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Speaker 1: And I think that like creates these like addictive cycles.

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Speaker 1: And you know a lot of the stuff that we

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Speaker 1: talk about, like people in like addiction recovery, you talk

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Speaker 1: about how connection is the opposite of addiction. So I

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Speaker 1: think there's like a lot of systemic things that are

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Speaker 1: like pushing us in these directions towards like isolation, like

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Speaker 1: towards these values that make it seem like, well, the

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Speaker 1: real thing that you have to focus on, the thing

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Speaker 1: that matters, The thing that is like adult and real

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Speaker 1: is just like making money and finding ways to like

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Speaker 1: work within this system and not valuing your connections with

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Speaker 1: other people. Like the connections with other people more and

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Speaker 1: more in our economy, especially in the tech world, are

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Speaker 1: like described as friction. Like you want to cut down

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Speaker 1: on the friction of like human interaction to get to

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Speaker 1: like these frictionless systems of like perfect capitalism, or like

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Speaker 1: make this purchase, turn it around quickly, don't have to

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Speaker 1: see anybody. You click the button and then it appears

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Speaker 1: on your front porch a couple of weeks later, a

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Speaker 1: couple hours later in some cases. So it's interesting. I

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Speaker 1: think one thing that's helpful is to be gentle with

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Speaker 1: ourselves because I think we sometimes hold ourselves up to

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Speaker 1: the standard of like, well, this wasn't a problem in

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Speaker 1: past generations, and first of all, I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of it was a problem. But we are We're also

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Speaker 1: really embedded in these systems that are telling us over

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Speaker 1: and over that like that we should live and have

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Speaker 1: value systems that are are pretty unhealthy and are like

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Speaker 1: kind of really pushing us in these directions.

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Speaker 3: Well, there's a lot of science behind addiction, and this

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Speaker 3: is why connections are very important, because there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of details about this life as human beings that we

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Speaker 3: may not be fully honoring or accepting. And one of

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Speaker 3: those details is that you know, our brain, we get

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Speaker 3: this fear and there's so many things going on in

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Speaker 3: life that make us scared, and so we use and

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Speaker 3: you know, substances, people, social media, all these things to

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Speaker 3: get our needs met in some way. So we feel

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Speaker 3: bad about something and we use that as an adia.

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Speaker 3: So when you're connected with people, this is why the

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Speaker 3: twelfth step in addiction therapy is share it with someone else.

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Speaker 3: There's actually the oxytocin that you get. There's a there's

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Speaker 3: a chemical reaction that happens and brings you back to

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Speaker 3: more conscious connection. You can solve a whole bunch of

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Speaker 3: problems because addiction, as you were just mentioning, we're addicted

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Speaker 3: to all kinds of things. We're addicted to drama, we're

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Speaker 3: addicted to experiences, and it can Our brains are not

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Speaker 3: it's not select. You just get addicted gravy sugar.

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Speaker 2: Let's just focus on the gravy. Okay. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be telling me Jack, I trusted you, and you know, Tali,

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Speaker 2: I think you're really cool. But why did y'all? Why

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Speaker 2: is this turning to an intervention? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: If you try, just try it first before you can

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Speaker 2: fell the power of it.

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Speaker 1: And that guy that that cool teenager did come by

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Speaker 1: and say you could try it for free this time

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Speaker 1: when he gave you the gravy before Thanksgiving exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: He said, bring a friend next time, chump, And I

397
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Speaker 2: was like, what, all right, let's let's take a quick

398
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Speaker 2: break and we're gonna come back and keep talking about this.

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Speaker 2: We'll be right back.

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Speaker 1: And we're back so at the outset defining the problem,

401
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Speaker 1: we'll talk about what the surgeon general just said. But

402
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Speaker 1: do we all think there's a loneliness epidemic? Like what

403
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Speaker 1: are the signals you see that indicate this is historically abnormal?

404
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: Because the Beatles did write eleanor Rigby in the nineteen

405
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Speaker 1: sixties and.

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Speaker 2: They looked at all the lonely people.

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Speaker 1: They talked about all the lonely people, so there were

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Speaker 1: a lot of lonely people back then. That song is

409
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Speaker 1: always funny to me that like Paul McCartney is just

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Speaker 1: like it's like probably hasn't been alone and like since

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Speaker 1: he was eight years old. It is just like incredibly

412
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Speaker 1: cool and he's just like looking out bewildered, like David

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Speaker 1: Atton Burrow just like, right, what are these lonely people?

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Speaker 2: Because it really is like the lyrics, it's not really

415
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Speaker 2: I it's ah, you know, it's ah, look at all

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Speaker 2: the lonely people. It's just different than like, I look

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Speaker 2: at all the lonely people, be like, ah, look at

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Speaker 2: all the lonely people.

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Speaker 1: Okay, look at all these lonely people. Anyway, is there

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Speaker 1: a chance we just didn't have a lot of mediums

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Speaker 1: that gave voice to the lonely before and now we

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Speaker 1: have social media and that's that's why we are hearing

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Speaker 1: about the loneliness or that we we think this is real, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well I think I think historically people were lonely,

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Speaker 3: but it was very clear to know if you were lonely.

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Speaker 3: It was defined as the absence of people, the absence

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Speaker 3: of friends, the absence of family. But you know, back

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Speaker 3: in the day, and I'm not going to define what

429
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 3: time period of that is, we were very We were

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Speaker 3: much more interdependent. You know, everybody had to show up

431
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 3: to work, everybody sort of had to help each other

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Speaker 3: out with their family because survival was was literally hinged

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Speaker 3: on our interdependence. Now we have created a world where

434
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 3: we actually can function behind the screen independently. People can

435
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 3: be you know, without interaction physically with people for months

436
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,959
Speaker 3: at a time. And on top of that, we have

437
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 3: this ability to I like to call it, there's a

438
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 3: little bit. I think of a fake epidemic too going on,

439
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 3: where we have this ability to create our own avatar

440
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 3: and character that doesn't reflect who we really are. And

441
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 3: so when we do get around people, because we've already

442
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: put up all of these you know, we're posting things

443
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 3: on social media where we want people to see us

444
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 3: in a particular way, so now we don't have outlets

445
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 3: to be authentic. And then of course there's that thing

446
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: that we all see where if you go to a

447
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 3: teenage party these days, or even an adult party, they're

448
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 3: all sitting in a circle, not dancing, not talking to

449
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,959
Speaker 3: each other, and they're literally just taking selfies and posting

450
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 3: things on Instagram. So you have them spending two hours

451
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 3: together and no one really spent time together. They were

452
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 3: still connecting and texting each other right across the room,

453
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 3: right there lives. So it's hard to kind of identify,

454
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 3: but we feel it. And I think that's where the

455
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: Surgeon General comes in. And can you believe he said

456
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: that it's I think you can smoking is less impactful

457
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 3: than the loneliness epidemic.

458
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: All I heard there is that I can start smoking again. Hey,

459
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 2: the Surgeon General, Hey, if you got some boys, you

460
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: can kick it with light.

461
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: Up, go have a smoke sash with your with your pals.

462
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I mean the Surgeon General released a health

463
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 1: advisory and it yeah, it was it was like, this

464
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: is a serious smoking His advice is to like get

465
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 1: back to spending time with people, but like almost.

466
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: Like it's a prescription like that.

467
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 1: It's like, look, you just have to, like we need

468
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: to like spend an hour a day like with other

469
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 1: people interacting with them. Which makes sense to me because

470
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: I have this and I want to talk about this

471
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 1: thing that I think might be more unique to our

472
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: era than I had realized before I start thinking about

473
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: this and reading your book is like the dreads that

474
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: I feel before I spend time with people is weird,

475
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: and it's it's weird, particularly because I'm usually glad to

476
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: have spent the time with people after the fact, but

477
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know. And that's another way

478
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: that it feels like we're having to turn this into

479
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 1: medicine or you just got to spend some fucking time

480
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: with people, man, Like that's whether you want to or not.

481
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 1: You might not want to at first, like I used

482
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: to really not want to spend time with people unless

483
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: I you know, could be drinking before and during And

484
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: it's taken a lot of like spending time with people,

485
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: like prescriptively spending time with people to get to a

486
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: place where I'm like, no, this is actually no big deal,

487
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: and I always feel better after the fact.

488
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 3: Well, and we have to think about what's in that medicine.

489
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 3: So spending time with people, I think what's happening in

490
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,479
Speaker 3: our world is we have to actually relearn how to

491
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 3: do that in a way that feels different for us

492
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 3: because the world is different, and so we need new skills.

493
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: What are those skills that we need so that we

494
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: when we are spending time with people, it feels like,

495
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 3: it feels good, we get the good benefit of living longer,

496
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 3: and we're not feeling lonely because I think we're in

497
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 3: the presence of people sometimes. But that dread. A lot

498
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 3: of it is because the way people communicate, the way

499
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: we listen, the focus that people have. It really is

500
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 3: not it doesn't feel good spending time with people often right,

501
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: there's a lot of interesting things going on, so you

502
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 3: don't necessarily have to be with people for hours and hours,

503
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 3: and you know, it doesn't have to be an all

504
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 3: day thing. But taking these small, bite sized things where

505
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 3: it's like, Okay, listen, let's put a timer on, like

506
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 3: let's hang out for thirty minutes, and let's be a

507
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 3: little focused and intentional about getting to know each other

508
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 3: and about understanding what's going on. And I'm saying this

509
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 3: a little in an academic way. You can definitely make

510
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 3: it a little less structured. But this idea of let's

511
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 3: connect and ask each other some questions and you know,

512
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 3: spend time together, that feels like we actually got to

513
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 3: know each other.

514
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like to your point, like about

515
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 2: the skills and how we need to sort of develop

516
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: them or reclaim them or whatever. It's like with every

517
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 2: new technological advancement we have, the other side of that

518
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: coin is we are probably going to begin to dull

519
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 2: or completely lose a skill that we had developed prior

520
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,199
Speaker 2: to this technology. Right. So, like the easy thing is,

521
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 2: like I was telling Jack earlier, is like map reading,

522
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: you know, like orienting yourself like visually, because we have

523
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 2: phones that just like turn left, turn left right here

524
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,479
Speaker 2: in like fifty feet just go right or whatever, or

525
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 2: look at the direction of the arrow. You might not

526
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 2: even have to know left or right anymore. But like

527
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: and also with our ability to connect so rapidly found

528
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: I found myself in a place too where, like with

529
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 2: really close friends, I a lot of those relationships don't

530
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: get maintained because in the back of my mind is like, well,

531
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 2: we're connected through the phone, we're connected through social media,

532
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 2: we're connected through FaceTime, meaning they can get at me

533
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,120
Speaker 2: if they need something, or I can get at them.

534
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 2: But I've completely lost the part where I'm actually communicating

535
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: meaningfully or hearing what's going on, because it's almost like

536
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 2: it's like you just have like as long as there's

537
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: an open line of communication, then that's fine, and then

538
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 2: I forget. I've lost all these other skills, like being

539
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 2: present or even interested. Like the other day, I was

540
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 2: with a couple of friends of mine. We were all

541
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 2: watching something and to your point, there was a moment

542
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 2: we were all on our phones, like not just doing

543
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 2: the thing, like even for decades before. Our friendship has

544
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: been there since childhood, pre phone, where we could we

545
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 2: could have a just like an amazing time without a

546
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 2: phone and just talking. And I realized, oh, these are

547
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: skills like I am that are like become big. They're

548
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 2: starting to dull a bit. And that is also I

549
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 2: think compounding the feeling of like somewhat isolation or just

550
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 2: like a disconnection that I feel from time to time.

551
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 3: So we do something in our family miles called the

552
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 3: I created at this for we did this over thanks

553
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: give me. So we've got twenty five people and we

554
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 3: do something called the Family Power Hour. And the Family

555
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 3: Power Hours I identify somebody power hours. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, no,

556
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 3: not that kind of power. So right, that's not the power.

557
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: You got to bed, all right, you got you got my.

558
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 3: So Myles and Jack. I think we need to spend

559
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: more time together, because certainly so. But with the Power Hour,

560
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 3: I choose one person that is you know, I've talked

561
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 3: to everybody in the family and they don't really talk

562
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: to each other, and they actually give us a lesson,

563
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 3: like some wisdom and things that they've learned in life.

564
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 3: And I make all the kids. They all want to

565
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 3: stay in the basement and be on social media and

566
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: play video games, but they have to just come up

567
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 3: for Power Hour, and I ask them to fully participate.

568
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 3: And it's amazing. You always have to yell for them

569
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: and say come up, and it's a real hassle. But

570
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 3: once we get into it, what's interesting is here is

571
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 3: I'm an uncle in my family who's a doctor who

572
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 3: shared he was the power hour, and it was amazing

573
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 3: to me that you have twenty five family members and

574
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 3: everything he shared about his life. Nobody in the room

575
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 3: but me, because I talked to people and listened to them,

576
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 3: knew much about him. Like they know he's an uncle,

577
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 3: they know he's a doctors, but they don't know anything

578
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: about his story. They don't know anything about his life

579
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 3: yet yet they've known him their entire lives. So this

580
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: lack of real connection and knowing who people are. I

581
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 3: learned some things new about him I've known in my

582
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 3: entire life. And then people started to ask questions and

583
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 3: summarize and it was so cool. And guess what it

584
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 3: was an hour? It was about forty five minutes. After that,

585
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: everybody dispersed and went and did their own thing. But

586
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 3: they left there like feeling like, Wow, I actually really

587
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: respect my uncle. I know him, and I learned something

588
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: that I can use in my life. And so that's

589
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 3: kind of the power of when we are more conscious

590
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 3: about the way that we connect.

591
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: Right that also sounds very twelve step, you know, like

592
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: that that's a lot of AA meetings or just you know,

593
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: somebody telling their story for a half hour and then

594
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: people kind of reacting and interacting with them. Which again

595
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: it's like this prescriptive thing that addresses what ails us,

596
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: which is that we don't want to do We don't

597
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: want to do that, We don't want to listen to

598
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 1: people and have to hear them and have to tangle

599
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: with their humanity.

600
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 2: I feel right, or like there is a presumption that

601
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: you already know somebody too, like in the example of

602
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: your uncle, Like I think of like other family members too,

603
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: who I've every family gathering there there, I'm like, well,

604
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 2: that's so and so's brother and they're from here and

605
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 2: they did that and now they're retired. But those like

606
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: I know five but I only know those five things,

607
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 2: Like I don't know the you know, the kinds of

608
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: trials and tribulations obviously maybe the health things that we

609
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: all know as a family they've been through. But to

610
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 2: the other points, like a lot of those details are

611
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 2: lost to the point where I would be like, is

612
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: this person really my like because I like, I know

613
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: who they are, but I couldn't really tell you that

614
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: I know so much about them, and I think with

615
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: like an exercise like that, to your point, Jack, it

616
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: does feel it's like it's like we we kind of

617
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 2: need that structure because left to our own devices again,

618
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 2: like to like at least I can speak personally, those

619
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: things will begin to just wither away from me, like

620
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: if I'm not making a conscious effort. And as although

621
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: it might sound like, wait, why are we doing this

622
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 2: whole thing, it's like because the value in that is

623
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: actually going to be much more additive than just sort

624
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 2: of staying like with the status quo or the comfort

625
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 2: of like being like, yeah, that's that's my relationship and

626
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: that's just kind of how deep it goes. And that's fine.

627
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 3: It's funny you said left to our own devices literally, right, Yeah, yeah.

628
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: I think that that really speaks to something like there's

629
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: a part of me that I've noticed that wants to

630
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: make the person small reflexively, and like I have this

631
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: theory that like it based on I pay a lot

632
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: of attention to like what movies people like and what

633
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: the movies like actually tell them, and like what the

634
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: like meanings are like underneath the surface, and like I

635
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: feel like one of the things that I've learned from

636
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: the movies that were very popular over the past couple decades.

637
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: And I don't know if they're becoming less popular, but like,

638
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: certainly from the late nineties through like the mid teens,

639
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: it was these movies that told people that they were

640
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: secretly the most important person on the planet, like The Matrix,

641
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: Harry Potter, Star Wars, like all those movies that are like, yeah,

642
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: actually you are the one. You're more important than everybody else.

643
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: And I feel like there's like something some part of

644
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: me growing up in the system that I grew up

645
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: in that rewards individualism and individual achievement that doesn't want

646
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: to admit the humanity of other people because that means

647
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: that I'm just one of eight billion, means you know

648
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: the ones, Yeah exactly. So like from an early age,

649
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: I feel like I was taught to admire individual achievement

650
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: and the math of like one in eight billion, which

651
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: is closer to the truth than anything you're going to

652
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: get like in like some of these you know, movie

653
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: mythologies like that hurts. It makes your life feel meaningless

654
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: if you are sticking to that paradigm of individualism. And

655
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: so yeah, I feel like that's another way where the

656
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: system is like pushing us in this one direction that

657
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: we have to be at least recognize that that's the

658
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: system of meaning that we're operating within in order to

659
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 1: get away from it, to get away from some of

660
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: the dangers.

661
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 3: Well, Chris Jack, that's so honest of you and just

662
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 3: vulnerable admitting that feeling of wanting to be the one.

663
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 3: I think everybody there's a lot of fantasy about oh,

664
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 3: I want to matter, right, So it's like we're wanting something,

665
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 3: we're wanting to matter. I think the shift we want

666
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 3: to make though, is you have to be able to

667
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 3: matter because there's no one like you. You're extremely unique,

668
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 3: and so there's not really as much competition as we think.

669
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, there's a lot of different ways

670
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 3: that we contribute.

671
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 2: You know.

672
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 3: But the second thing is life that goes in phases.

673
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 3: So there may be a time in your life where

674
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 3: you absolutely need to be focused on individual achievements, right,

675
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 3: But most people, if you get too caught up an

676
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: individual achievement, you don't shift at the right time in

677
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 3: your life. That's when you start feeling really lonely and sad.

678
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: Because it's the law of diminishing returns. Right, you can

679
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 3: achieve so much and now you might shift to another

680
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 3: part of life where that same thing that drove you

681
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 3: to individual achievement is no longer satisfying. And so now

682
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 3: you need to shift to who are the people around me?

683
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 3: Who are my friends? Who are my cheerleaders? Who are

684
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 3: who am I connected to? And so we don't have

685
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 3: to look at it. It is like every single phase

686
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 3: of your life you have to be doing the same thing,

687
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 3: but there are you know, now, what is the big question? Okay,

688
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 3: I achieve this, who am I sharing it with? Is

689
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 3: it meaningful? Do I even like it? I know a

690
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 3: lot of people they identify these goals. And you know,

691
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 3: I was a therapist, by the way, I should actually

692
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 3: disclose that before I became a leadership strategist. And so

693
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 3: you know, I've had the pleasure of sitting on a

694
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 3: couch with people. And one thing that I find is

695
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 3: that you achieve so many goals, but then it's like

696
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 3: I'm still just feeling dead inside, right, because there's always

697
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 3: another goal. There's always something else that we need to achieve.

698
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 3: And so the point is, what is the constant that

699
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 3: no matter what you're achieving or not achieving that makes

700
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 3: you feel really good and purposeful and happy in life.

701
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, for me, like there's like a heartbreak from those

702
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,840
Speaker 1: values that I was talking about, and like, you know,

703
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 1: having kids, and also I like got into recovery around

704
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: that time, and like so I think I was able

705
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: to like kind of view those things a little bit

706
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: with a little bit more distance and objectivity. But you

707
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: know it also that new world, that new part of

708
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 1: my life like definitely brought me in contact with into

709
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: contact with a lot of the tools that I feel

710
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: like you're talking about, which let's let's actually take a

711
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: break and what we'll come back. I want to hear

712
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: more about just first of all, like the specifics of

713
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: like the power Hour, but also the specifics of like

714
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 1: how people can think about listening to people a little

715
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: bit more in a in a more engaged.

716
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 2: And proactive way. So we'll be right back.

717
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: And we're back, and yeah, so first of all, I'd

718
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: just be interested in hearing because I think some of

719
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: the stuff from the world of recovery can be like

720
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: I won't like bring it into my day to day

721
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: life because I'm like, well, that's like a different thing.

722
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: And like people who aren't in recovery, won't necessarily understand

723
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: that at the same time that I feel like people

724
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: are talking about like problems that could be serviced from

725
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: just like you know, some of these things that we're

726
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: talking about. So I'd love to hear more about like

727
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: the power our idea or just like ways that you

728
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: have seen just you know, structurally getting people to interact

729
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: with one another more, or you know, doing that for yourself,

730
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: how you specifically get yourself to interact with people on

731
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: a more humane, active, active listening level.

732
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 3: Well, you know, it's interesting in the context of recovery.

733
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 3: It's when you share your experience, strength and hope. And

734
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 3: it's okay not to have to share the entire story

735
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 3: of your struggles, but the experience, the strength, and the

736
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 3: hope is how you live your life on a regular

737
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 3: basis that works for you, right, And so a big

738
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 3: part of the listening is number one, being able to

739
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 3: have some reflective time to be able to know what

740
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 3: that is, right. What do I actually I think about

741
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 3: this a lot is what do I do on a

742
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 3: regular basis. I meditate, I do do some journaling. I

743
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 3: think a lot about how I'm treating people. You know,

744
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: I'm really gentle with myself when I make mistakes, but

745
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 3: I try to make amends when I do that, and

746
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 3: then being able to share that with other people but

747
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: also ask questions to create space for other people to

748
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: share things about their lives. And a big part of

749
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 3: this is when we're connecting with people, there are phases

750
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 3: of we don't have to always share the entire war

751
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 3: story right if it's not appropriate, if it's not the day,

752
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 3: if it's not the right venue. But sometimes we throw

753
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 3: the baby out with the bathwater. We can still just

754
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 3: share little bites of like, you know, I see that

755
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 3: you're having this struggle with I don't know what it is,

756
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,439
Speaker 3: maybe getting up and going to the gym. The way

757
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 3: that I this is my strategy for when I don't

758
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 3: want to do things right, I make a call, or

759
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 3: I get a part, I get someone that holds me accountable,

760
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 3: or just kind of sharing some wisdom that might be

761
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 3: supportive for each other. And so even if we can

762
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 3: kind of infuse that into some of our conversations, that's

763
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 3: really important. It's interesting during the power Hour, one of

764
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: the things that I do is I listen so intently

765
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: to this. In this case, my uncle speaking that I'm

766
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 3: able to repeat and summarize almost everything that he said

767
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 3: in the entire forty five minutes, and people always find

768
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 3: it to be some kind of superhero power, but it's not.

769
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 3: I literally am just fully engaged in fully listening, and

770
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 3: I'm not allowing my thinking to interrupt my ability to

771
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,479
Speaker 3: take in the wisdom that he's sharing. And so there's

772
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 3: an actual process and strategy to be that good of

773
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 3: a listener so that you can get the value out

774
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: of the experience and the strength and the hope that

775
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 3: other people have. So we really miss out when our

776
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 3: listening is tainted.

777
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 2: How would you say? We know, like we're most normal,

778
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 2: like not normal, but most people who aren't being conscious

779
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: of this are quote unquote listening, right because I'll be like, yeah,

780
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 2: I'm when people talk, I'm hearing what they're saying, and

781
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 2: then that's it. But yeah, what sort of like the

782
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 2: what are those sort of finer points that are different

783
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 2: about those these ways of listening.

784
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 3: So this is almost like a personality test. You have

785
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 3: listening personalities, right, So there are people that listen in

786
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 3: a very specific way. So for example, I know some

787
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 3: people I'm trying not to mention names it right. Some

788
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 3: people that they are, they're what I call a plugger,

789
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 3: which means that like, no matter what you say, I

790
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 3: don't care what kind of story you tell, they're always

791
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 3: going to kind of plug something in about themselves or

792
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 3: even plug something that benefits them. Then you've got the

793
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 3: fact checker, right called podcasting. Okay, yeah, podcasting right, So

794
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 3: then you have someone that's like the fact checker, where

795
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 3: every single time, like you say something, they stop you

796
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 3: and you're just trying to tell a story that like

797
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,800
Speaker 3: whether or not it happened in you know, eighteen seventy

798
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 3: three or seventy four is not the point, but they

799
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 3: will stop you and say something like are you sure

800
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 3: that happened? Then what I read was that it happened

801
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 3: in and it's like, that's.

802
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 2: Not the calling.

803
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 3: And my favorite one is the helper, which I have

804
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 3: to be careful about not being that person, but I

805
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: watch it and you know, again we're gentle with ourselves.

806
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 3: Is when you're a person that someone is maybe telling

807
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 3: you a story or they're trying to get some support,

808
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 3: and you just jump in there without knowing the full contacts,

809
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 3: and you're like context, all you need to do is

810
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 3: just just get up and go to the gym every

811
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 3: day and just run a mile if you heard it right,

812
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 3: Just just eat. Someone told me. I was like, cause

813
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 3: I've I've struggled with I'm always trying to figure out

814
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:33,919
Speaker 3: what to do with weight, you know, up and down,

815
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 3: and just trying to always eat healthy and and it's

816
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,439
Speaker 3: it's always been a struggle. So when I ask certain people,

817
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: they're like, I don't get what the problem is. Why

818
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 3: don't you just eat fish and vegetables and then work

819
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 3: out every day. It's so simple, and yeah, just just

820
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 3: do that. And then they then they go and they

821
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 3: start like eating their their you know, donut with like

822
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 3: a six pack abs, and I'm like, yeah, thanks, thanks

823
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 3: for the advice. But but he's not really listening to

824
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 3: the context. Like the most important thing that I said

825
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 3: in that particular instance was that this is hard for me, right,

826
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 3: as opposed to I don't need the solution per se,

827
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 3: but I need maybe a listening ear to work through

828
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 3: why I think it's hard specifically for me right right.

829
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 3: And again, that's what people want some support. They want

830
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 3: you to understand the struggle. They want you to just

831
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 3: get their stories and so that they can feel validated,

832
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 3: and after they're validated, then maybe they can be open

833
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 3: for solutions.

834
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 2: Right In a way, it just sounds like we're basically

835
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 2: decentering ourselves in these interactions. So whether it's our own

836
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 2: urge to demonstrate our knowledge of a topic, or our

837
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: own urge to find a way to make this topic

838
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 2: be relevant to me, or our own urge to share

839
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 2: some kind of wisdom, even though that's not what our

840
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 2: person is, the person we're speaking to is asking for.

841
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 2: It's sort of this, yeah, I don't know if it

842
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 2: feels like it. It feels so contrary to like how

843
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: we normally communicate with each other too, where it's like okay,

844
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 2: what say the thing about you? Now? Okay, and now

845
00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 2: I say the thing about me, and I heard the

846
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,320
Speaker 2: thing you said, and now it's time for me to

847
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: see the thing I said, rather than just like this

848
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 2: much more effortless version of like, okay, so you just

849
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,240
Speaker 2: voiced a thing that you are dealing with, and now

850
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 2: I can add to that by asking you to continue

851
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 2: going along that right, and like, oh yeah, I've been

852
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: doing that thing too, and then this is what happened,

853
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 2: and that is that Okay. Now, what we don't have

854
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: anywhere to go from there.

855
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 3: Jack said it it's our urge to be the one.

856
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 3: We've got to be the one. We've got to be

857
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 3: the center of center of attention. And we all do

858
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 3: it in some ways, but if we can be a

859
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 3: little aware, yeah, yeah.

860
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: And I do feel like we might be seeing a

861
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 1: generational shift with this, like with younger people, Like I

862
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: feel like it might have peeked with like baby boomers

863
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 1: being like you know, self centered, just like very focused

864
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 1: on the self and everything, and all the systems were

865
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: like sort of designed around that. And what While mental

866
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: health is not getting better for younger people, I do

867
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: feel like in some of the things like the that

868
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: you see, they are kind of acutely aware, like they're

869
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: more likely to have like socialist leanings, Like they're more

870
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 1: interested in like like even like in the growing interest

871
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: in psychedelics, which are like medicines or drugs like depending

872
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: on how you use them that kind of dissolve the

873
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: ego or like take you out of like the self

874
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: centeredness of like that way of perceiving the world. I

875
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 1: do feel like there are some like glimmers of hope,

876
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 1: but I think a lot of the mental health problems

877
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 1: that we're seeing as like younger people existing in a

878
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: world that is designed for this completely different paradigm that

879
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: has been shown to be very very bad for the

880
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: continued survival of the species.

881
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 2: But I don't know.

882
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like there's a rise in consciousness but

883
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 3: a decline in connection. Yes, right, So it's like we're

884
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 3: really conscious about what's going on. I think people are.

885
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 3: I mean the knowledge you have access to so much knowledge,

886
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 3: you have access to ideas and technology and innovations, I

887
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 3: mean on so many levels. But then the question is

888
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 3: what's going to be the impact long term of us

889
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 3: really being able to kind of connect and feel interdependent,

890
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 3: Because really, I mean, you can put me out in

891
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 3: I like to watch those shows like Naked and Afraid.

892
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 3: We're out in the woods, and I would say, if

893
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 3: they gave me the tool, if they said we'll bring

894
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 3: your cell phone in your charger, you wouldn't need the matches,

895
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 3: you wouldn't need anything. You have your cephone and your charger.

896
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 3: You can just survive out there and just look it up,

897
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 3: right right, you can just put it. How do you

898
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 3: keep warm without matches? I mean it's like, you know,

899
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 3: do you want to take your cell phone or do

900
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 3: you want to take somebody with you? I probably would

901
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 3: just take my cell phone. I feel like I could

902
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 3: have light. I feel like I can know stuff. I'll

903
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 3: be good out out in the woods. But that is

904
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 3: arise in my consciousness, but it'll be you know, I

905
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 3: will underestimate the impact of the loneliness of being in

906
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 3: the woods by myself.

907
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 2: Why is it, though, do you think from your perspective,

908
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 2: why it's become so easy to let go of the

909
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: connection part because the connection feels so much better, you know,

910
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 2: And I get that there's probably a lot more of

911
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 2: like these sort of you know, fleeting distractions we have

912
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 2: that have probably taken the place, but like it is

913
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: kind of I'm always surprised when when I really look

914
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 2: back and I'm like, oh, yeah, we've we really don't like,

915
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 2: we really don't put much stock into that anymore, when

916
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,319
Speaker 2: that really was the lifeblood of our humanity. Like are

917
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 2: this species for millennia?

918
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 3: I think it depends on who you have surrounding you,

919
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 3: because it can feel better, but it also can feel

920
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 3: like a big hassle. It can feel worse. You have

921
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 3: a lot of people that are very self conscious. Really,

922
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 3: you know, if you feel like you're being judged constantly.

923
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,760
Speaker 3: You have people that will just make comments randomly about things.

924
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 3: It was funny at the you know, at the end

925
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 3: of the pandemic and a lot of people were going

926
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 3: back to work and there are these comments that we

927
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 3: came in and did some support. There are these comments

928
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 3: that people were making. Wow, I didn't know you were

929
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 3: so sure, but like, wow, people were just saying these

930
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 3: random things. They're actually considered in some ways. They can

931
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 3: be insults, they can be microaggressions, but it's like, in

932
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 3: that particular case, why did you just say that? Right?

933
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 3: Why are you Why are you just spewing these things

934
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: out of your mouth that are causing you to alienate

935
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 3: yourself or alienate somebody else. And so again there's there's

936
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 3: the quality of those connections that I think is really important.

937
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 2: Right.

938
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: Human contact is great in theory, but have you smelled

939
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: some of us, like it can be.

940
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 2: A yeah, it's true. I had a firefighter put his

941
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 2: respirator on. Well, he was in line with me at

942
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 2: the supermarket earlier this week. Did not feel good. Really yeah,

943
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 2: he's like this guy is right, and I was, oh

944
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 2: he put it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, that joke did

945
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,399
Speaker 2: not land, and you know what, that's okay. That's why

946
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: I embrace failure and I cannot be Yeah, there you go.

947
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 3: What And have you read the research around all this

948
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 3: stuff into you know, they say that there's bad stuff

949
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 3: for you and toothpaste, bad stuff and deodorant. I have

950
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 3: like decided that I'm keeping the bad deodoran, the bad toothpaste.

951
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: But you just wrote crystals, crystals don't do anything.

952
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 3: I've decided I am not doing crystals, and I'm not

953
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 3: doing natural youthpaste either.

954
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,399
Speaker 2: But I smell good. Tell hell, I smells great. Yeah,

955
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 2: you so good. We haven't done that. We haven't done

956
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:18,879
Speaker 2: the show in person for years, yet.

957
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: I do feel like one thing that I've noticed in

958
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: myself is that the psychology of like how we interact

959
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 1: with one another, modern interactions are are much more curate,

960
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: like I just in comparison in comparing like my day

961
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: to day life with people in the past, like where

962
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: the being being in communities where you know, now I

963
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 1: have kids. Now I'm just interacting with other parents and

964
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: it's not like, well, I choose their like top of

965
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: my list of like people to hang out with their

966
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: you know, my kids friends parents in some cases, and

967
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: or you know, in recovery, you're just thrown into a

968
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: room with other people who have the same problem as you,

969
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 1: but they are in a lot of cases not the

970
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 1: person who you would have ever found yourself in the

971
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: same room with. And in a lot of ways, I

972
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 1: feel like that is mimicking how people used to live, right,

973
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: like you knew your neighbor and interacted with them whether

974
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 1: you liked them or not, and like your friends were

975
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: based on who was on your I don't know, bowling team.

976
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 2: I think they used to bawl a lot.

977
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:36,439
Speaker 1: It's just you know, But I do feel like part

978
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: of my problem at least is like trying to be like,

979
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: all right, is this the perfect interaction?

980
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 2: Is this?

981
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: Like you know, I am putting a lot of pressure

982
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: on these interactions, like finding the right people to surround

983
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 1: myself with is first of all, can be beneficial for

984
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: the reasons that you're mentioning, like you don't want to

985
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 1: surround yourself with toxic people.

986
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I.

987
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: Think I can also like overly curate, like in the

988
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: in the way that a lot of like media now

989
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: is just like me scrolling through four hundred movies to

990
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: figure out like what the best movie is when some

991
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:13,959
Speaker 1: of my favorite movie watching experiences were just like back

992
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: in the day, scrolling or you know, flipping past TNT

993
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 1: and yeah, you know, a movie's on and you're like, well,

994
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 1: that's the movie you're hanging out with for the night.

995
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 2: I guess, I guess I'll watch two thirds of this

996
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 2: movie exactly.

997
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 1: So Yeah, I just wonder if you know, being a

998
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: little more willing to spend time with people, whether or not.

999
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: And I guess I guess that's kind of by necessity.

1000
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: If we're spending time with other people like on a

1001
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: regular basis, that's going to happen, right. Yeah.

1002
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 3: I think one of the things if you watch children

1003
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 3: and animals play together, they seem to have like a system.

1004
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 3: You know, you'll see little kids they just go up

1005
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 3: and they certainly either like they kind of tap each

1006
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 3: other and run. They just start running and it's almost

1007
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 3: like we're in the same world and we're just going

1008
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 3: to run. Or like the dogs they come up and

1009
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 3: it's like they have a little sniff going on and

1010
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 3: it almost seems like all the dogs know and you

1011
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: know you're supposed to like, you know, they kind of

1012
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 3: communicate with each other I feel like human beings we

1013
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 3: don't really have a system. And we see we think

1014
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 3: we do because we just say hello and you know,

1015
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 3: give these greetings. But I think we just need to

1016
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 3: embrace the awkwardness. There is just some interactions that are

1017
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 3: more awkward than others, but that's okay. If you stay

1018
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 3: in there for just a little bit longer, you might have,

1019
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 3: as you were talking about Jack, you might create a

1020
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 3: friend that you never thought you knew. This is why

1021
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 3: we gravitate too much towards people just like us, as

1022
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 3: we're trying to run away from any feeling of discomfort,

1023
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 3: any feeling of awkwardness. So if you have a room

1024
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 3: of people, you're going to gravitate towards someone you know

1025
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 3: you need a starter. They're from your hometown, they might

1026
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 3: look like you, and we kind of just deprive ourselves

1027
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 3: of so many relationships that would be nice. But you

1028
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: just have to kind of get past this initial awkward

1029
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 3: moment of I don't know what to say, I don't

1030
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,879
Speaker 3: know what questions to ask. But if you've ever had

1031
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 3: those experiences, just a couple of minutes to get there,

1032
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, you know, those people can

1033
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 3: end up being some really great friends and great connections.

1034
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you're different, if they're different from you,

1035
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 1: and you're focusing on like what you can learn from them, Like,

1036
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: then the more different they are from you, the more

1037
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: you can kind of learn from them. Right.

1038
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, And in the book you just have some questions

1039
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 3: that you ask people. But we have to learn this

1040
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 3: art of just engaging, putting people at ease, and being

1041
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 3: comfortable with ourselves.

1042
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I to your point, Like, I was at

1043
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,840
Speaker 2: an event like a couple of weeks ago, and I

1044
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 2: was just standing next to a person who was like

1045
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 2: seemingly I was like, I don't know what I would

1046
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 2: have in common with this person, but we realized there

1047
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 2: was like a mutual connection there and just started talking.

1048
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 2: By the end, this person, who if I was just

1049
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 2: going off of the sort of same thing, I'm like,

1050
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 2: are they from La do they kind of like do

1051
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 2: we look like we kind of fuck with the same stuff?

1052
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 1: No?

1053
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:53,319
Speaker 2: Not really, And then by the end of it, they

1054
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 2: were like super into comedy, super into basketball, like super

1055
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 2: into like similar art. And that all just happened from

1056
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 2: just just embracing just sort of like the awkward momentum

1057
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 2: of being like, oh what else like oh yeah, yeah,

1058
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 2: and then just kind of seeing where the conversation leads

1059
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 2: and yeah, like almost it proves my own instincts wrong

1060
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 2: where you're like, I I got everybody figured out mostly

1061
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,919
Speaker 2: and like oh no, like and then to the point

1062
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 2: I was talking to my partner her magicy, I was like,

1063
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 2: we should kick it with them, Like his partner seemed

1064
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: cool too, Like where did that happen from? And I

1065
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 2: don't know. I think it's it's because, like I think

1066
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 2: I've fully let those skills of like being curious about

1067
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 2: other people just kind of die too, I think, as

1068
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 2: I think it just comes along with age. And I

1069
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 2: hope everybody listening. Look, Jack and I are not just

1070
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 2: sitting in like darkened like a dank cave not talking anybody.

1071
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 2: I mean sometimes we do, but yeah, there is like

1072
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,839
Speaker 2: there is just like this other, I don't know, very

1073
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 2: basic part of being a human that I realize I've

1074
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 2: really let kind of to disintegrate. And this to a

1075
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:01,879
Speaker 2: certain extent because of how much like all of these

1076
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 2: things that are at my disposal, whether that be through

1077
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 2: social media or technology, and I'm forgetting about the you know,

1078
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 2: the good old fashioned analogue stuff, you know, talking to people.

1079
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I spend a lot of time really selling this

1080
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 3: concept because here's the deal, right, you have a limited

1081
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 3: amount of time. It's just easier to watch Netflix. It's

1082
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 3: easier to be on the phone, it's easier not to connect.

1083
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 3: And so what's in it for you? Why? Why move

1084
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 3: through discomfort? Why? Because it does take a little bit

1085
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 3: of effort and work right to connect to different people.

1086
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: It's the answer just so many challenges, And I think

1087
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 3: one thing that we miss in life is that we

1088
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 3: have these problems, We have these challenges even in like addiction.

1089
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 3: Like the answer is the connection, right, it's connecting to

1090
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 3: a higher power, it's connecting to other people. But the

1091
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,279
Speaker 3: answer is like you have to work it. You have

1092
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 3: to work it right. But the benefit is, oh my gosh,

1093
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:56,280
Speaker 3: look look what happened. I surrendered something. Life got better

1094
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 3: and life continue to get better. And now, like you know,

1095
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 3: I'm I'm transforming my relationships and at the end of

1096
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 3: the day, I am much happier because I put in

1097
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 3: this effort. And so that is the core of this

1098
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 3: is we have to learn the skills and so with

1099
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,720
Speaker 3: their habits that you do every single day that helps

1100
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 3: us to recover from Disconnection, right.

1101
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well, Talia, it's been such a pleasure having

1102
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: you on the show. Where can people find you? Follow you,

1103
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,720
Speaker 1: read you all that good stuff.

1104
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 3: So I'm very active on linked In and so you

1105
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 3: can just kind of go ahead and buy me on LinkedIn,

1106
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 3: but also Talia Fox speaks on Instagram. My book was

1107
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 3: released on November twenty eighth. It's the power of conscious

1108
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 3: connection for habits to transform how you live and lead

1109
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 3: really excited to show us with the world. I want

1110
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 3: to start a movement where we're just raising our consciousness

1111
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 3: and our connection so that we can actually leverage technology

1112
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 3: and really create a world where we're not zombies, but

1113
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: we're connected people doing amazing things and feeling really good

1114
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 3: about who we are and what we're up to on

1115
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 3: a regular basis.

1116
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1117
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, And is there a work of media that you've

1118
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: been enjoying.

1119
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good question. I enjoy so many things,

1120
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 3: and I do listen to a lot of a lot

1121
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 3: of spiritual things. I've been posting a lot of things

1122
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 3: out on the lake and talking about meditation and getting

1123
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 3: really quiet and more connected. But anyway, there's so many things.

1124
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 3: I don't know if I could even pick just one.

1125
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: Okay, Miles, where can people find you? Is there a

1126
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 1: work of media you've been in?

1127
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 2: Can find me rummaging through old tupperware full of gravy

1128
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 2: as I find every last spap available to me, just

1129
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 2: fighting the lids. I'm just in a cupboard somewhere. I've

1130
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 2: shown that I've learned nothing at all. But you can

1131
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 2: find me at Miles of Gray, wherever they have the

1132
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 2: at symbols. You can find Jack and I on our

1133
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 2: basketball podcast, Miles and Jack Got Mad Boosties, where we

1134
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:52,360
Speaker 2: talk about the NBA and all the fun around the league.

1135
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 2: And if you like ninety Day Fiance and you like

1136
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 2: a little bit of frivolous reality like me, then check

1137
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 2: out four twenty Day Fiance. That's the show I host

1138
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 2: with so far, Alexandra.

1139
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: Tweet I've been enjoying trash. Jones tweeted, I'm doing an

1140
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: Irish Hello, saying I'll probably be there but never showing up.

1141
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one move, my move.

1142
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 1: But we're working. We're working on it. We're working on it.

1143
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 1: You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brien.

1144
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeikeeist. We're

1145
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: at d daily Zekeeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook

1146
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 1: fan page and a website daily zeikeist dot com where

1147
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: we post our episodes and our footnote where we link

1148
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: off to the information that we talked about in today's episode,

1149
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 1: as well as a song that we think you might enjoy. Miles,

1150
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 1: what song do we think people might go?

1151
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 2: We're gonna go out on a Guyanese like African folk group.

1152
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 2: They're called Yoruba Singers. Uh. And this is a track

1153
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 2: that actually came on the seventies. I heard it like

1154
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 2: on NPR over the weekend, but I just really loved,

1155
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 2: you know, like I like hearing groups of people sing.

1156
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 2: Like there's something I think too of what we've been

1157
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 2: talking about. Connection, Like one vocalist is always great, but

1158
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 2: sometimes when you have multiple voices, it just gives something

1159
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 2: a little bit extra. Uh. And this track is called

1160
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 2: Black Pepper by the Yoruba singer So just check it out.

1161
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 2: It's like an old track. The recording quality is chanky,

1162
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 2: but you know what, it gives it that little bit

1163
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 2: of character that makes a song really fun to listen to.

1164
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:26,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, Black Pepper Garuba Singers. All right. Well, The

1165
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 2: Daily Zeikes is a production of iHeartRadio.

1166
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart Radio is the iHeart Radio app, apps,

1167
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

1168
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 2: That's going to do it for us this morning.

1169
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 1: We are back this afternoon to tell you what is

1170
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: trending and we will talk to you all then.

1171
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 2: Bye bye by