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Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it is yours truly blah lah kent with

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Speaker 1: my sidekick ride or die, bad ass, motherfucking bitch. What's

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Speaker 1: up jets?

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Speaker 2: What's up everyone?

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Speaker 1: Wow? We just had Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 2: How is your Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 1: My Thanksgiving was awesome? Okay, so my little brother came

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Speaker 1: into town. It was just me easton my mama ocean.

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Speaker 1: We had the best time. It was hysterical because you know,

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Speaker 1: we're like in this new place and we're fixing Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: and everything in my new place, I call it the

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Speaker 1: safe House, is completely brand new. And before we moved in,

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Speaker 1: they said to us, keep in mind everything's brand new,

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Speaker 1: so things may like you may look at something and

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, this isn't working. Well, the oven doesn't

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Speaker 1: completely shut, so it just stays on, like the burner

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Speaker 1: stays on. Stuff like yeah we heat. So everything was

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Speaker 1: like so we basically prepped our entire Thanksgiving dinner in

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Speaker 1: our what is that thing called downstairs? What thing the

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Speaker 1: air fryer? We prepped. Oh and it was the bed

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving meal.

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Speaker 2: Ever, Laala loves her air fryer, So I'm sure that

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Speaker 2: was like your your Thanksgiving meal, that was the best

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Speaker 2: one you've ever had.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was the best one I've ever had. And

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Speaker 1: keep in mind, I'm obsessed with the air fryer because

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Speaker 1: my mom and Easton are like obsessed with the air fryer.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, fine, like I'll get a fucking

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Speaker 1: air fryer. Thank God for it. We made the beans

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Speaker 1: in there, we made the sweet potatoes in the every serres. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was five stop.

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Speaker 2: That's actually amazing. And also I told Lala, I was like,

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Speaker 2: this Thanksgiving, you're in a brand new house, like you

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Speaker 2: moved everything in, just go out to eat. But obviously

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Speaker 2: you did not do that. You guys went. You went

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Speaker 2: for it.

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Speaker 1: I went for it. That's amazing. We fucking went for it.

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Speaker 2: Because Kyle and I did not.

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Speaker 1: Well, you were supposed to cook on Thanksgiving, that's like

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Speaker 1: your thing. I didn't.

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Speaker 2: We went to the Bellagio for Thanksgiving dinner with house

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Speaker 2: Sad and Mom.

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Speaker 1: It was great.

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Speaker 2: It was really great. It was beautiful, it was relaxing.

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Speaker 2: It was decorated for Christmas. So it was great. But

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of like it was great. Next year, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to cook.

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Speaker 1: Next year, you're going to cook. Yeah, you'll live and

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Speaker 1: you'll learn. Yeah, I remember there was a year that

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Speaker 1: my mom took us to this place in Utah called Membara,

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Speaker 1: and it was like, all, keep in mind, you guys,

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Speaker 1: we're recording this podcast in my bed and there's like

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Speaker 1: leaf blowers outside, so they're starting up again. You can

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Speaker 1: hear them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is.

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Speaker 1: Real life, people, well says real life. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: safe house. Welcome to the safe house. But I remember

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Speaker 1: sitting there and it was like all this seafood and stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I love seafood, but I was like, what the

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Speaker 1: fuck is this? Yeah, and the worst part about going

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Speaker 1: out there's no leftovers. That is true.

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Speaker 2: That is something I miss see.

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Speaker 1: The leftovers are the best part.

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Speaker 2: Did you have leftovers this year?

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Speaker 1: We did? So let me let me explain something to everybody.

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Speaker 1: Though I have been incredibly stressed out. I can't imagine why.

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Speaker 1: I've literally lost I just got weighed at the doctor

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Speaker 1: and I have lost over like ten pounds. Oh, because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, just my stomach every time I put food

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Speaker 1: in my mouth, it just feels like I'm going to vomit.

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Speaker 1: My stomach is just in knots and I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: work through it mentally. It's not that I'm not eating

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to, but I have. When certain

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Speaker 1: things happen to me, I have a visceral reaction to them.

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Speaker 1: My body responds in a way where it's like, not hungry, right,

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Speaker 1: And so I having to force feed myself right now,

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Speaker 1: and my mom is like, you're eating this, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's difficult because I just have a lot on my

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Speaker 1: mind and I'm doing a lot of things. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to work. I'm a single mom, all amazing. But I

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Speaker 1: didn't back to off the heavy topic back to I

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Speaker 1: did have leftovers. I didn't eat as much as I

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Speaker 1: usually would, Okay, but I definitely was eating leftovers right right.

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Speaker 1: The good thing is is when my appetite comes back. Oh,

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Speaker 1: she comes back. She's like, where's the chocolate King Wings,

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Speaker 1: where's the deep fried chicken?

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Speaker 2: She comes back?

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Speaker 1: She comes back, honey. So I will welcome her whenever

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Speaker 1: she's ready to come back.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: And one thing I'm worried about, though, Jess, is my

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Speaker 1: reunion is coming up Friday, and I have a dress,

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Speaker 1: but is it gonna fit? And where's wardrobe gonna have

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Speaker 1: to pin me up?

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Speaker 2: That's the vander Pump Rules reunion. As everybody knows, it's

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Speaker 2: so great. Yeah, that's true. You're dressed though. There are

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Speaker 2: two options that Lala's choosing between. They're both gorgeous, and

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Speaker 2: I think either one you'll make work.

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Speaker 1: Should I I spill some tee?

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Speaker 2: Spill the tea?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Fun? Fun fact. So I had this interview look

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Speaker 1: that production went crazy over. I found out about the

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Speaker 1: pictures of his name we shall not mention and the

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Speaker 1: Nashville Girls. I decided on October twentieth, the day of

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Speaker 1: my book signing, that I was going to change my tattoo.

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Speaker 4: You did that too?

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Speaker 1: Brand new? Well, because my outfit for the interview look

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Speaker 1: had never been it hadn't been worn yet, and I

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Speaker 1: had an interview coming up and it didn't have sleeves

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Speaker 1: on it, and I was like, I have a new

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Speaker 1: tattoo that I cannot reveal yet, So we need to

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Speaker 1: make sure because I didn't know when they would use

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Speaker 1: this interview look. You know, I'm like, they could pop

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Speaker 1: it in tomorrow and it could be on this next

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Speaker 1: episode and I cannot have that happen. So I wore

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Speaker 1: the same dress that I wore at my book signing

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Speaker 1: to do the interview look. It's like that cute little

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Speaker 1: pink one hair in the bond feeling chic. Production was

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Speaker 1: super amazing about it. They were like, we totally understand

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Speaker 1: and now they've actually their number one pick for my reunion.

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Speaker 1: Look is the dress that I was gonna wear in

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Speaker 1: the interviews.

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Speaker 2: And you and you guys, it's absolutely gorgeous and now

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Speaker 2: you're rocking the brand new tattoo.

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Speaker 1: With the brand new tattoo is such a vibe, such

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Speaker 1: a vibe, It's gorgeous.

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Speaker 2: And not only is it a vibe, it is now

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Speaker 2: on my Mola's merch.

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Speaker 1: It's just such a fun thing to say, like I'm

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Speaker 1: brand new, like it's so yeah, and it's in my

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Speaker 1: handwriting and I am brand new, like I feel with

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Speaker 1: everything that's going on, like my mind is right right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Never, yes, I've never felt that you're more at peace,

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Speaker 2: at ease, more of a boss as bitch, boss as

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Speaker 2: bitch than you are now. But speaking of spilling the tea, yeah, Laala,

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Speaker 2: I'm curious. So you mentioned the vander Pump Rules reunion

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Speaker 2: and is filming this coming Friday, which will be December third,

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Speaker 2: Will you spill tea? What are your thoughts on that?

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Speaker 1: You know? I think there are certain things that can

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Speaker 1: be discussed, and there are certain things that go a

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Speaker 1: little deeper that you know, I will answer to the

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Speaker 1: best of my ability, okay, But you know, unfortunately for me,

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Speaker 1: my head has been in the sand. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how the fuck I didn't see a lot of this

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Speaker 1: shit right, And some of my comments and my meddling

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Speaker 1: in other people's relationships. I don't know if it was

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Speaker 1: a projection. I don't know what happened. All I know

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Speaker 1: is a lot of things that I said and things

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Speaker 1: that I you know, meddled in my comments didn't age well, right,

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Speaker 1: And I'm okay with that, Okay, So I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of it is going to be talking about that

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Speaker 1: and having to answer for a lot of those And

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm big on accountability, Yeah you are. You know.

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Speaker 1: I don't like thinking. I don't when I behave a

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Speaker 1: certain way, this, that, and the other. I'm a firm

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Speaker 1: believer in the universe has always held me accountable. Yeah so,

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Speaker 1: and it's made me have to sit here and face

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Speaker 1: things and be truthful and honest. And with all of that,

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for because I lay my head down every

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Speaker 1: single night and I know that I am a good person, Jess.

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Speaker 2: You are one of the best people I know, and

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Speaker 2: it's very sweet.

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Speaker 1: I know that I mess up sometimes, but I am

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Speaker 1: very proud of my evolution, and I'm when I look

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Speaker 1: in the mirror, I know like that I was that

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Speaker 1: I am a good human being and that's good enough

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it should be. You're a great person. Your

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Speaker 2: people see you. This is how I feel because I

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Speaker 2: was one of those people I saw a lot of

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Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, she's a badass business woman.

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Speaker 2: Look at her do this, look at her do that.

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Speaker 2: And then you meet Lalla, and then within such a

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Speaker 2: quick amount of time, you're like, oh, oh, this person

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Speaker 2: is so much deeper than I thought. And then even

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Speaker 2: you know, a couple weeks later, I'm seeing Lalla say

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Speaker 2: things and do things on her own accord, not thinking

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Speaker 2: anyone's watching or listening, for other people that no one

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Speaker 2: will ever find out about, and she just does them

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Speaker 2: out of the good of her heart for other people,

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Speaker 2: for animals, and it's just like, oh, this is a

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Speaker 2: good person.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And I will say about my cast members.

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Speaker 1: You know, people watch and they all have an opinion.

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Speaker 1: Oh Santa bal's this, Oh Shina does that? You know?

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Speaker 1: Everyone has an opinion on every single person. I love

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Speaker 1: she and I fucking hate Lalla. I can honestly say

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Speaker 1: my cast members, who I'm lucky enough to also call

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Speaker 1: my friends, they are good human beings, right, you know.

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Speaker 1: We all have our little things where it's like, uh,

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Speaker 1: don't that about you? And that's just part of being

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Speaker 1: a human being, right, you know. But I can honestly

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Speaker 1: say that group of people that I get to be

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Speaker 1: friends with, they're just their core is good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that. What a great way to feel

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Speaker 2: about people you you surround yourself with. Oh yeah, that's amazing.

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Speaker 1: So I'm very excited for the reunion. I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's going to go great. And what they do is

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Speaker 1: the reunion comes and we get every single episode so

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Speaker 1: that we know what we're going to be talking about,

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Speaker 1: because even though we lived it, we don't know what

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Speaker 1: the episode entails, right. We love that, Yeah, and we

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Speaker 1: don't know what everyone said about us behind our bags.

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Speaker 1: So we have to watch Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Little

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Speaker 1: Denise Richards, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo. So I've seen a lot

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Speaker 1: of the episodes, but last night one of the episodes aired.

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Speaker 1: Another one did an age so well with what I

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Speaker 1: was saying, but it was it's funny because did you

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Speaker 1: see that part?

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Speaker 2: Okay in my interview, So I haven't watched it yet,

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Speaker 2: but I've been like peeking in when you're watching it,

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Speaker 2: you guys. I'm still trying to get my apartment together.

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Speaker 2: Laala is way more ahead than I am. Her house

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Speaker 2: is like looking amazing, So I need to watch it.

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Speaker 1: But tell me what I shu you mean you've been

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Speaker 1: doing other things besides speaking in and watching Bravo. What

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Speaker 1: could you possibly be doing? Chess? Working her ass off?

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Speaker 1: Such a hustler. I love her. Thank you the one

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Speaker 1: part where it was like there are repercussions to your actions,

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Speaker 1: you don't get to come home land next to all this?

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Speaker 1: Are you crazy?

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Speaker 2: I saw that? And how do you feel about that moment?

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Speaker 1: It just feels so weird, Like the universe is like

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Speaker 1: we're going to need to like make sure that she

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Speaker 1: has some good interviews that kind of align with what's

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Speaker 1: about to smack her in the face. Right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Also, amen to that. I did see that clip

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Speaker 2: because I heard it as you were watching it. And

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Speaker 2: I peeked in, how do you feel about that? Would

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Speaker 2: you say that same exact thing right now?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, there are repercussions.

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Speaker 2: Bye, I love it, I love it.

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Speaker 4: Bye?

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Speaker 1: What else? No questions ask no questions asked, no questions asked.

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Speaker 1: You know the deal in this relationship. I had my

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Speaker 1: head in the sand for a really long time, right,

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Speaker 1: but I'm grateful no matter what. You know, what's five

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Speaker 1: years and some change versus what I would have been

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Speaker 1: in You know, for me, it's like I give clearcut

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Speaker 1: things of what I expect in a relationship. Sadly, it's

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Speaker 1: sad that that you even have to say, like, I

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Speaker 1: have a zero this policy in this. Yeah, the second

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Speaker 1: that I felt unsafe, I always I said this in therapy,

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Speaker 1: I said, the second I get a pit in my stomach,

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Speaker 1: it'll be a different conversation. I got that pit, Jessica,

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Speaker 1: and I got the fuck out. But for you, no questions.

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Speaker 2: Asked, no questions. But bye, here's my here's my question,

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Speaker 2: no questions asked. But also I have a question. So

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Speaker 2: I watch So I saw that interview clip, and I thought,

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Speaker 2: there's no way if if I knew some things were

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Speaker 2: going on, right, I wouldn't tell this this person and

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Speaker 2: this interview was not it was a while ago or

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Speaker 2: not that long ago, but it was.

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Speaker 1: It was a while ago.

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Speaker 3: It was.

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Speaker 2: So my question to you is, you're this person in

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Speaker 2: the interview and you're saying these things. Do you think

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Speaker 2: that that also comes off to your friends and castmates

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Speaker 2: or do you think like do you look at that

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Speaker 2: person in the interview and think, oh, people must see

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Speaker 2: me differently? You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You know, I asked that question all the time, like

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Speaker 1: what how could this be going on? And I had

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Speaker 1: no idea.

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Speaker 2: Right you know, yeah, yeah, because I look at that

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Speaker 2: person in the interview and that's who you are now,

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Speaker 2: and it's a take no shit, right, don't even try

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Speaker 2: and cross the line. Yeah, it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: It's it's very hard for me to watch this season.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, very yeah. But you know what, Laala, you're the

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Speaker 2: same person. That's what I'm like. It's not like this

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Speaker 2: is how I feel. It's not like you're watching the

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Speaker 2: show and you're like, oh, like, sure, you say some

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Speaker 2: things that didn't age well, but overall you're not watching

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Speaker 2: the show and you're like, oh my god, I'm like

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Speaker 2: cringing at what I believed in that moment, or my morals.

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Speaker 1: Or how I felt. No, You're right. When I when

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Speaker 1: I watch it, it's like I was just someone who

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Speaker 1: thought she was in a very different situation than she

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Speaker 1: was actually in, right, you know. Yeah, the other part

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Speaker 1: of last night's episode was me what is it called mimicking? Mocking, impersonating? Okay,

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Speaker 1: impersonating Tam Mike Tom Sanderson.

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Speaker 2: I saw this clip too because I heard someone talking.

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Speaker 2: I was like, that's not wait is that wala? Is

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Speaker 2: she impersonating?

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Speaker 1: For impersonations?

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Speaker 4: On point?

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Speaker 2: But tell me about that scene.

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Speaker 1: I just could picture Sandoval so clearly in my mind.

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Speaker 1: It's when I heard that they were making cocktail, and

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Speaker 1: then the way that they edited it together, it was like,

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Speaker 1: this is cold.

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Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite edits besides the Bitch montage.

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Speaker 1: The Bitch montage wins the whole game.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yes, that was incredible, Like you called it, you

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Speaker 2: knew exactly you called it.

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Speaker 1: How did that happen? I'm just appreciative for the editors

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Speaker 1: because the fact that they pulled that together and how

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Speaker 1: many seasons and times that I use the word bitch. Right, Bravo,

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Speaker 1: Bravo Bravo, Bravo, Bravo evolution, Bravo evolution. I dig it.

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Speaker 2: No, but I love that your impersonation of Tom Sandoval

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Speaker 2: is amazing this and you don't have to do it now.

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Speaker 2: But if you were to impersonate anyone else on the cast,

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Speaker 2: who do you think you would nail? Because I feel

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Speaker 2: like you were great at Tom Sandoval. Who could you

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Speaker 2: Who do you look at at the cast and you're

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Speaker 2: You're like, oh, I could impersonate him or her really well?

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Speaker 2: Because I have an idea in my mind because I've

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Speaker 2: heard you do it before, just as like being cute

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Speaker 2: or funny.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe Tom Schwartz or my sweet little Bambi Roquel. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm gonna do it right now. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: don't do it right now.

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Speaker 2: No, but I just because it was so like Tom Sandival,

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Speaker 2: I would have been like, no, you can't do.

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Speaker 1: That was the easiest one to do.

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Speaker 2: It was good, It was good.

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Speaker 1: It was good.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, moving on to our important guest. You guys, I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited for today's podcast. I know I say that

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Speaker 1: every time, but the guests that I get to have

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Speaker 1: on are so amazing, And today I have a woman

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Speaker 1: who literally is responsible for the path that I am

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Speaker 1: on today. She is someone I wrote about in my book.

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Speaker 1: Her name is doctor Stacy Cohen. She is the woman

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Speaker 1: who I met with on a Friday over three years

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Speaker 1: ago and she said to me, I want you to

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Speaker 1: take this number down after hearing me speak. And this

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Speaker 1: number she had me take down was a substance abuse

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Speaker 1: basically a case manager. She helps get people sober. I

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Speaker 1: said to doctor Cohen, are you asking me to be

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Speaker 1: sober because I can't do that. She said, I'm not

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Speaker 1: asking you to do anything. I just want you to

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Speaker 1: take it in case you ever need it. Cut to

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Speaker 1: that following Monday, I use the phone number that she

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Speaker 1: gave me and she is just like, I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to have her on. We're going to talk about this

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Speaker 1: time of year. It's supposed to be amazing and cheerful

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Speaker 1: and you have like you know your we have Honukkah

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Speaker 1: that's happening, we have Christmas coming up. It's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be a very enjoyable time, but it's very stressful. A

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Speaker 1: lot of people slip into depression during this time. I

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Speaker 1: am going to have her help us navigate through all

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Speaker 1: of this and just shed a little bit of light.

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Speaker 1: And again, I want us all to feel like we're

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Speaker 1: bonded through this podcast because we all share a lot

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Speaker 1: of the same struggles. That is the point of doing

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Speaker 1: this podcast. So when we come back, we have one

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Speaker 1: of my angels, doctor Stacy Cohen. Now we are back

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Speaker 1: with a woman who really saved my life, doctor Stacy Cohen. Stacy,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this. You were the

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Speaker 1: person that I had a session with and you gave

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Speaker 1: me a phone number to call because we had spoken

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Speaker 1: about my drinking. And I said, are you asking me

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Speaker 1: to be sober? And you said, I'm not asking you

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Speaker 1: to do anything. I just want you to take this

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Speaker 1: number in case you ever need it. That was on

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Speaker 1: a Friday, and I use that phone number the following Monday.

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Speaker 4: Of course I remember.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I just so you you're like one

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Speaker 1: of my angels. I always say that. And now we're

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Speaker 1: going into the holidays, and you know, people like to drink,

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Speaker 1: they like to be merry. But I know that a

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Speaker 1: lot of my followers and listeners always wonder how to

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Speaker 1: navigate because depression and anxiety. They don't care if it's

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Speaker 1: Christmas or Hanukkah. They it comes as it feels it

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Speaker 1: wants to How do you tell people to navigate these emotions?

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Speaker 1: And and I the illness is that I struggle with

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Speaker 1: whether it's Christmas or not. You know, how how do

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Speaker 1: we how do we navigate during this time?

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Speaker 4: Well, I think you're exactly right.

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Speaker 3: Depression and anxiety they don't They don't decide when to come,

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Speaker 3: although they come oftentimes more frequently during the holidays.

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Speaker 1: Actually, why is that.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes times that might feel the best are also the

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Speaker 3: most stressful, right, you know, sometimes our highs or our

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Speaker 3: ups or you know, are are also you know, cortisol

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Speaker 3: is released whether things are high or low, bad or good.

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Speaker 3: When things aren't just kind of balanced, we get stressed.

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Speaker 3: So it's very common that anxiety and depression creep up

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Speaker 3: during those times. It's also times where we're triggered more.

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Speaker 3: We tend to regress and sort of be brought back

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Speaker 3: back to childhood traumas and whatnot when we're around family

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Speaker 3: because we're reminded of things from the past. Sometimes those

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Speaker 3: are good things, but sometimes those are difficult things. So

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Speaker 3: a lot of times people aren't aware of all these

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Speaker 3: sort of reasons that we're propelled backwards, or that our

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Speaker 3: bodies are going to be more stressed and we're going

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Speaker 3: to be more prone to things like anxiety and depression.

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Speaker 1: Right, And I feel that same way. And it's so

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Speaker 1: funny because you know I used to I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say I used to. I still love the holidays,

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Speaker 1: but they obviously are not as magical as they once were,

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Speaker 1: you know, like they're just different. And you know, now

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Speaker 1: I have a family, and I have the pressures and

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Speaker 1: stresses of decorating the house and oh, we have to

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Speaker 1: get this person a gift, and it's almost like we

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Speaker 1: lose what this time is really about, which is what

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Speaker 1: I loved when I was a child. You know, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't into really getting gifts. That wasn't my big thing.

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Speaker 1: I loved, you know, the Christmas dinners that we went

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Speaker 1: to and being around groups of people. But as you

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Speaker 1: get older, like it's your job now to plan these

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Speaker 1: things and that is a lot of pressure. Do you

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Speaker 1: find that a lot of moms or just women in

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Speaker 1: general that are kind of in my age group, your

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Speaker 1: age group, that are like this is too much?

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Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. And it starts like a month or two

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Speaker 3: before the holidays. It almost starts before Halloween really that early, yeah,

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Speaker 3: because people are first stressing about Halloween, and then they

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Speaker 3: realize that Thanksgiving is coming around the corner, and then

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Speaker 3: it's Christmas and there's a lot of either travel or

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Speaker 3: events or you know, things to decorate for, get gifts for,

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Speaker 3: you know, everything you're talking about.

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Speaker 4: It's a disruption and our routine.

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Speaker 1: Right, And I've found that myself and people that are

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Speaker 1: like me, we like our routine, we like our structure,

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Speaker 1: and when things are kind of thrown off balance is

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Speaker 1: when we start to spiral. Do you find that when

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Speaker 1: during this time of year, I mean, are people you

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Speaker 1: know double booking you, They're like, instead of one session

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Speaker 1: this week, I'm going to need like four.

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Speaker 3: It's definitely the busiest time of year for us as

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Speaker 3: mental health providers. And I think, you know, I think

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Speaker 3: people lose track of a lot of the things that

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Speaker 3: keep them well, like, for example, exercise or meditation or

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Speaker 3: seeing you know, the friends in our lives that help

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Speaker 3: keep things together. Maybe they're gone, or maybe we can't

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Speaker 3: see them because we're traveling or whatnot. Those things that

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Speaker 3: usually hold us together we tend to lose sight of

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Speaker 3: because we're busy doing other things.

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Speaker 1: That makes so much sense because then you think about

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00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: after the holiday, for everyone's New Year's resolution, it's always like,

436
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to get back to working out, this is

437
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to start meditating again. So we do kind

438
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: of fall off the wagon a little bit.

439
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and our meals are very different. Our sugar intakes

440
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 3: very high.

441
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: All the pie in the world.

442
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 4: Oh exactly.

443
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: I'm going into my first holiday in many years as

444
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: a single mom, and that to me, you know, I

445
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 1: feel like I should be a little bit more concerned

446
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 1: about it. I'm actually feeling very peaceful. Who knows, as

447
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: the holiday gets closer, I may start realizing, holy shit,

448
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: what advice because I'm getting a lot of DM since

449
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 1: my life has kind of changed. Women that are going

450
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: into their first holiday as single moms, or even if

451
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: they're not moms, they're just going into a holiday without

452
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: a partner. What advice can you can you give to

453
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: me and women that are in my same position.

454
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 4: I think we have.

455
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 3: We need to take the wins. So if you're feeling

456
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 3: good right now, celebrate that. Oh I love relish in

457
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 3: it because I because there's gonna be hard times. And

458
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 3: then there's gonna be good times, and there's gonna be

459
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 3: hard times, and there's gonna be blot of times. And this,

460
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 3: I mean, the last few years, everything's been flipped upside

461
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 3: down for so many people. So when you feel good,

462
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 3: enjoy it, like let yourself enjoy it, you know. I

463
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 3: heard you say, like maybe I shouldn't be feeling so good,

464
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 3: you know, let yourself enjoy it, be in it, be present.

465
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 3: I know that when it's not that easy, it's also

466
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 3: gonna go way too, you know.

467
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 1: You know, I I think a lot of sit here

468
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 1: and when we're not worried about something, just the day

469
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 1: and age we live in, it's like something's wrong. Why

470
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: am I not worried about something? It almost feels like,

471
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: wait a minute, like I'm bored right now, But the

472
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: bored is actually me feeling good and I'm supposed to

473
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 1: be stressed. And Also, I love what you said because

474
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: this goes back to what I learn in my program

475
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 1: of AA is that feelings and places and all of

476
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 1: that is it's only temporary. I think that that's hard

477
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: for people to remember. Sometimes we feel very stuck in it. Yeah,

478
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you have a lot of people that

479
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: come to you and they say, how do I stop

480
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: feeling this way? And you're a psychiatrist, so you have

481
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 1: the ability to write prescriptions and things like that. Do

482
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: you have people come in and you're like, you don't

483
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: need a prescription, You're just going to come in here

484
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk, because I don't think that

485
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: we need to go that route.

486
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 3: All the time. I joke that I'm taking people off

487
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 3: of me. It's just as often as I'm putting people

488
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 3: on meds, because the minute you tell someone you're a psychiatrist, like, oh,

489
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 3: you're a shrink, You're the one with a prescription pad, right,

490
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 3: And I'm actually an addiction psychiatrist, so I see people

491
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 3: who have become addicted to medications from other psychiatrists quite often,

492
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: which is wild. So oftentimes the solution is not in

493
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 3: the pills. Sometimes it is, so you know, sometimes it's

494
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 3: a bull and you know, sometimes there's really clearly something

495
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 3: that will benefit from medication, and you need to get

496
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 3: your brought up an exercise, you need to go to therapy,

497
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 3: you need to go to AA, you need to stop drinking.

498
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 1: Right, all of those things matter.

499
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, And sometimes the medication is life changing too,

500
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 3: I know, definitely don't want an auth medications. It's just

501
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 3: that's what's so tricky about my job, you know, cardiologist,

502
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 3: we know every little bit of the heart and what's

503
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 3: wrong and how to fix it. We don't know that

504
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 3: about the brain and the mood, you know, and the

505
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:58,959
Speaker 3: temperament and your body.

506
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 4: It's all connected. Then it's so messy and it's so confusing.

507
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: Well, I know, the mind is a very complex thing

508
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 1: and it can talk you in and out of a

509
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: lot of different things. So during this time of year,

510
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,360
Speaker 1: if people come into you and they've never needed medication

511
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 1: before and then all of the sudden they're like, this

512
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: is too much for me, Like how do you navigate

513
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: through something like that? Because as a sober person, there

514
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 1: are times where I'll be venting to my sponsor or

515
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: somebody and like a friend, and they'll say, you know,

516
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: maybe at this time this would help. And because I'm

517
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 1: sober and I'm very into my sobriety, I just feel

518
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: like I would rather just talk to someone and we

519
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: work through it that way. And I'm not knocking medication either.

520
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 1: I've definitely been on anti anxiety antidepressants, got it. It

521
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: is a lifesaver. And life changing for many people. But

522
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: during this time, how do you say, you know, it's

523
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: just this is a situational depression.

524
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah.

525
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 3: It really depends on the severity of the symptoms, the

526
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 3: duration of the symptoms, how problematic they are for people's lives.

527
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 3: Everything in this big book that I don't really love,

528
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 3: but that we use to diagnose things. But of course

529
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 3: no one ever fits the cookie cutter picture of a diagnosis.

530
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 3: But almost every diagnosis says to the extent that it's

531
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 3: impairing functioning because we all, you know, get nervous, we

532
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 3: get butterflies in our belly, we get you know, our

533
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 3: chest starts pounding, We are afraid to do things, but

534
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 3: we don't all have generalized anxiety disorder. Anxiety is an

535
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: important tool. It tells us what's safe and what's not.

536
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 3: But sometimes it tells us that things aren't safe, but

537
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 3: they really are, you know, sometimes there's a misfiring.

538
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: Wow, can I tell you I've never I've never heard

539
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: that before the first part where you said that there

540
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: is a benefit to anxiety, because there's it's it can

541
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: tell us when we're safe and when we're not safe.

542
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, that feeling that we get in our chest,

543
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: that goes into our gut, letting us know like something's

544
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,959
Speaker 1: not right. Wow, I actually really love that I had.

545
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: I'd never even thought of it that way. So it

546
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: does sometimes play in our favor. And what I'm wondering is,

547
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: you know, at what point does that usually go back

548
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: to childhood trauma. At what point do you say, Okay,

549
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: this anxiety is now not on your side, This is

550
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: now affecting your day to day life, and you're thinking

551
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: you're not safe in any situation.

552
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, when it gets to that point of being excessive,

553
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 3: where it's causing problems in our relationships, where it's causing

554
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 3: us not to be able to do things that we

555
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 3: enjoy doing, like people that won't leave the house because

556
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 3: they're too anxious or they're always late, or they won't

557
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,719
Speaker 3: make new friends, or they won't talk to people in

558
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: class or at work, or they can't sleep or they

559
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 3: can't eat. So it's it's truly like a bundle of criteria,

560
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: and when you have enough that it's problematic, then we

561
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 3: start to say, Okay, maybe this would benefit from therapy.

562
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 4: Therapy is the start.

563
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: When it's like mild to moderate, we start with therapy

564
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 3: and then maybe we move into medication and actually exercise

565
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 3: can be more effective than medication.

566
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: You know, I always said I don't work out for

567
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: my body. That's kind of like the bonus. I work

568
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: out for my mental health because there's just something about

569
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: it that makes me feel like I can take on

570
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: the rest of the day.

571
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.

572
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: So with the state that we're in because we went

573
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: we have been in you know, lockdown for over a year,

574
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: we're starting to come out of our shell again. I mean,

575
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you have had people show up in

576
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: your office that are like, I don't know how to

577
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: function out there anymore. I've lost all of my social skills. Definitely,

578
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: how do we get back to being normal? Like, what

579
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: is your advice?

580
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: You know, we we walked into this slowly, you know.

581
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 3: I remember we were all buying toilet paper.

582
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 4: We thought it would be like a two week.

583
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 3: Thing, you know, and we were in and out, but

584
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 3: we weren't really like super careful. And then all of

585
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: a sudden, people, you know, I have friends of mine

586
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 3: who were spraying down their groceries before they were allowed

587
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: to bring in the house. I mean all sorts of

588
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 3: I wasn't doing that, but people were doing that. So

589
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: we we all walked into this at different paces, but

590
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 3: it didn't happen overnight. We started hearing about it, and

591
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 3: then we started getting a little scared, and then there

592
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 3: were some like shocking, you know moments where.

593
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 4: We kind of locked down.

594
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 3: But then we were out and then there was a

595
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 3: you know, recurrence that we're back in. And so it's

596
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,479
Speaker 3: the same thing with getting back to life. We don't

597
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: just suddenly proof we're you know, life is how it was.

598
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 3: We have to sort of step in slowly at our

599
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 3: own pace, and everyone's going to do that a little

600
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: bit differently, and we need to be kind to ourselves

601
00:31:58,920 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 3: and gentle.

602
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: On the hardest part.

603
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the hardest part, because we might go

604
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 3: and it might not make sense to anyone. It's kind

605
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 3: of like the whole boundary thing we learn about. We

606
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 3: need to set boundaries and they may not make sense

607
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: to anyone else, but they're for us and they make

608
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 3: us healthier. You know, I might go to one thing

609
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 3: and then not be comfortable the next day going to

610
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 3: the other because I heard about Overcrown on the news

611
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 3: or whatever, you.

612
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 4: Know, and someone might be upset.

613
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,959
Speaker 3: I was speaking of friends and they were upset because,

614
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,239
Speaker 3: you know, they found out their friends went to this

615
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 3: wedding and then they didn't come to their house for

616
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 3: the holidays. But you know what, it's it's a one

617
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,239
Speaker 3: day at a time sort of thing, and we need

618
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 3: to just be gentle.

619
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: Be gentle. I I. Oh, it's so funny because I'm

620
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: very good at preaching, not so great at practicing what

621
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm preaching. But there are times where I sit there

622
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: and I do feel comfortable going to the mall one day,

623
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: got my mask on, and then my friend is having

624
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: a get together and I'm like, but I don't feel

625
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't know that I feel comfortable doing that. Almost

626
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: have to be careful what you're posting on social media

627
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: because you don't want to have to explain yourself. But

628
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: you're right, I think being kind to each other and

629
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: just allowing people to get back into this routine that

630
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: was really taken away. I mean most of us. I know,

631
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: I did throughout COVID, which lasted, like you said, way

632
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: longer than we expected. All I did was watch TV

633
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: and like feed my face, you know, so to ask

634
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: me to go socialize with a group of people after

635
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: doing that for over a year is like, oh my gosh,

636
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: we're back, you know, holiday parties. I don't even know

637
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: what to ask people.

638
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's tough. And then we're also going through

639
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 3: normal way. I mean, you had a baby, I had

640
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 3: a baby.

641
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: Congratulations you had a baby girl as well.

642
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 3: Yes, they're on the same age and we're going through

643
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 3: all that too. Yeah, and everyone else is going through

644
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 3: their own things too, you know. So it's it's already hard,

645
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 3: and there are some gifts. I mean, we were taught

646
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 3: to slow down. We were taught we don't have to

647
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: go travel and be everywhere and be everything and do

648
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 3: everything and life still.

649
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 4: Goes on, right, you know, we learned to sit still,

650
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 4: some of us, Right.

651
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: I think that was the biggest thing is for me

652
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: is being able to just be, which, you know, with

653
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: how much is out there and everything is so accessible,

654
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: just like that, to just have to sit with your

655
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: own thoughts for a minute and be okay was actually

656
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: very amazing.

657
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 4: You know.

658
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: That's what I gained from COVID And I just want

659
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,479
Speaker 1: to know. You are a new mom and you're going

660
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: into the holidays. You're a working mom who's solving other

661
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 1: people's mental health problems. You're the solution to that. I mean,

662
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: how do you navigate this time of year or any

663
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: time of year with your job and being a new mom.

664
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. Listen, we're not immune just because we're helping people

665
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 3: from needing our own help. So that means for me,

666
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 3: that means meditation, that means exercise. Did yoga this morning

667
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 3: in between taking care of my baby? Wow, that means therapy.

668
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 3: That means friends. For me, friends are huge.

669
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of exit your day to day have

670
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: them get your mind off things.

671
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

672
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: And a lot of sleep.

673
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 4: A lot of sleep. Yeah, and asking for help.

674
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people get nervous to ask

675
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: for help.

676
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,359
Speaker 3: Yes, well, and it was it became difficult, I think

677
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 3: for people during the pandemic to ask for.

678
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: Help absolutely because it was like there was there was

679
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: nothing for you to feel like was wrong. The whole

680
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: world was shut down, and it was like, why am

681
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 1: I feeling this way when you know on days that

682
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 1: I was working, I would have prayed for this day

683
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: to not be able to do anything. So it was

684
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: kind of a mind fuck. Yes, you know. On that note,

685
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 1: I want to take a very quick break. We will

686
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 1: be right back with one of my angels. Doctor Stacy Cohen.

687
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:15,720
Speaker 1: We are back with doctor Stacy Cohen. We are talking

688
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: about how to navigate our anxiety, our depression, just all

689
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 1: of our feels through this time of year, a time

690
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: that's supposed to be you know, everyone's out skipping on

691
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: the street, We're buying presents, kids are excited for Santa Claus,

692
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: people are celebrating Hanukkah, lighting the Manora, and then you

693
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 1: just sometimes sit there and go, why the fuck am

694
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 1: I feeling so down when it's like the happiest time

695
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,760
Speaker 1: of year. So Doctor Cohen and I are telling you guys,

696
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: well I'm just listening and taking note, but doctor Cohen

697
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: is helping us navigate through this time. So my other

698
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 1: thing was because we were talking about being kind to

699
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: ourselves during this time, and I actually think at this

700
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: time of years when people get the most bitchy. Do

701
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: you find that that happens when you have someone come

702
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 1: in your office and you're like, Okay, she is very

703
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 1: triggered by the holidays. He is very triggered by the holidays.

704
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: We've got to work through. Do you go back to like,

705
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 1: why are you triggered during the holidays? I'm sure sometimes

706
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: it goes very deep sometimes I'm sure it's as simple

707
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: as like, this is just stressful period. It doesn't have

708
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,479
Speaker 1: anything to do with childhood trauma. I'm just stressed out.

709
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'm in my childhood. I'm still home

710
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: for the holidays right now. My childhood. I love that,

711
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 3: and I'm very apropos of what we're talking about. And

712
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 3: my sister's family was here with her three kids. We

713
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 3: were all under one room for Thanksgiving.

714
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 1: Was it chaotic?

715
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 4: Totally chaotic, but.

716
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 1: Like the fun type of chaotic because that was something

717
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: I liked. But again, now we're grown women, but when

718
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I loved the chaos.

719
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a both, and I mean it's like you're

720
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,959
Speaker 3: excited to come home and see everyone, and then you

721
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 3: you like sort of have amnesia.

722
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 4: You forget all the bad stuff that happens every year, and.

723
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 3: Then you come back and it's all on your face

724
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 3: again and you're like, oh, yeah, this is fine.

725
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 1: I left, right, So do you stay through? I believe

726
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 1: you're Jewish?

727
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 4: Correct, Yeah, I'm here.

728
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 3: So we had Hanakhah and then I, okay, I'm giving

729
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 3: a talk in the Midwest, so I just kind of

730
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 3: stayed here.

731
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 4: So I'm here long stay and you.

732
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: Have your daughter with you. Yes, Oh my gosh, you're

733
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: like a rock star.

734
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 4: And I too am missing a mom so I get it.

735
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm can you inspire me? And we sit here

736
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: and we're like, how did we end up here? And

737
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: then you go back to that moment. Oh, yes, that

738
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: is how, and then you have all the strength in

739
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: the world and you just push forward, working, you saving

740
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: people's minds.

741
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 4: You just do it.

742
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that the reason I love doing

743
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: this podcast and the reason I'm so grateful to have

744
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 1: you on is this creates a space for us to

745
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: really talk about things that we don't normally talk about,

746
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: and creates a space for us to bond and be

747
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 1: real and authentic because right now, the only thing we

748
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: really have is our cell phones, and we all know

749
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: that social media is not real life. This is where

750
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: I want people to come to hear real life. So

751
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 1: that being said, I want to know your take because

752
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: we were talking about how no one wanted Most people

753
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about their feelings and they don't

754
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 1: want to ask for help. Do you feel like mental

755
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: illness is still a taboo?

756
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 3: I think it's getting much better. I mean, I was

757
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 3: watching football. I like football, but football was on in

758
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: the background of my holidays, and there was a commercial

759
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 3: where the football players were talking about their mental health.

760
00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: So I don't know if you saw it, it was like,

761
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 3: it was amazing. It was really amazing.

762
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 1: I have chills about So it was a commercial about

763
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: them talking about their mental health and.

764
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was just about getting help from mental

765
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,720
Speaker 3: I mean, it was just it was like a proud

766
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 3: mama as a psychiatrist in MoMA moment, so happy to

767
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: see because I've seen, you know, a number of athletes

768
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 3: struggling with mental illness, but to see it front and center,

769
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 3: you know, for the world to see, right these men

770
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 3: there that are inspiring young boys that would never be

771
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 3: talking about their problems, you know it. It made me

772
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 3: so proud and so happy. So I do think I

773
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 3: have a chills.

774
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes me. I'm so glad you shared that

775
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: with me, because I also do not watch football, so

776
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: I don't think I ever would have seen that, but

777
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 1: that sounds amazing. I'm so happy that they decided to

778
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: put that in the forefront. I I realized that mental

779
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: health wasn't talked about as much as I thought it was.

780
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: I grew up in a very open household, and my

781
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 1: friends were very open, and you know, I just that's

782
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: the way I grew up. And I remember my second

783
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: season on the show I'm On I opened up about

784
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 1: my anxiety, and I just I didn't think anything of it.

785
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: I just kind of made a statement. I was upset that,

786
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: you know, I was taught, not upset that I was

787
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: talking about it. I was just upset and sharing my

788
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: anxiety and the amount of DMS and just the response

789
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: I got was overwhelmingly beautiful. But it was also kind

790
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 1: of like, why are people saying thank you for opening

791
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: up about this? Because I totally thought we were in

792
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: a time where this was just like, let's talk about it.

793
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: Let's be open about our anxiety and our depression and

794
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: where our minds are. And so I wanted to get

795
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: your take on that, and I agree. I think it

796
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: used to be taboo, but things are getting better. And

797
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: I also love that we're focused on the fact that

798
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 1: it's these grown men who are athletes that are talking

799
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,240
Speaker 1: about their mental health.

800
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

801
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 4: Wow, a huge step, A huge step, A huge step.

802
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: And how long have you been in this business? How

803
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 1: long have you been a psychiatrist for.

804
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: So I've been working independently on around since twenty thirteen.

805
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 3: I was in training for years before that.

806
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: Wow, and you have always done this in the Los

807
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: Angeles area or do you travel in them?

808
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,839
Speaker 3: I did some of my training in Chicago, and then, yeah,

809
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 3: I've been in LA ever since I started.

810
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 4: Boy, oh boy, is it a big place to treat

811
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 4: mental health and addiction.

812
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I can only imagine, because I remember

813
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: coming into your office that day, and you know, I

814
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 1: had come to the realization in that moment quote unquote,

815
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: I had just you know, decided for myself, you like

816
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: drinking and that's okay, and you have fun and once

817
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: you get pregnant is when you'll stop drinking. Like that

818
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 1: was my sick thought process.

819
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:10,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very common.

820
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 1: Is it common?

821
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 3: Yeah to think that, uh huh wow, Well it's kind

822
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 3: of the like, when this happens, then I'll do you know.

823
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 3: It's that sort of thinking.

824
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I could totally see that, and I'm sure

825
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: that is there like a specific time of year. I

826
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: remember at one of my AA meetings there. It was

827
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: a huge one online and there were like thirty birthdays

828
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:41,280
Speaker 1: that were happening in October and that's when I got sober.

829
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: Is there a specific month or time of year that

830
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 1: you can pinpoint where you're like, Okay, this is when

831
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: most people start realizing that they want to get sober.

832
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 4: That's interesting. I mean, I think it's different for everyone.

833
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 3: The holidays can be a time of more problem so

834
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 3: a lot of times after the holidays, you know, after

835
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 3: the holidays resolution.

836
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what that October situation was.

837
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: I didn't either, and I had asked my sponsor and

838
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: she goes, yes, a lot of people get sober in

839
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: October because they say that they're not entering another holiday

840
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: season the way they used to be.

841
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 4: News to me.

842
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 1: That was news to me too.

843
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

844
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so many gems in AA that we don't

845
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 3: study because we're not really like allowed to a great

846
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 3: sort of secret society that it is, which is it's amazing.

847
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 4: No, I agree, there's so much to learn there.

848
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: I love that, But I could I notice with some

849
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: of my friends, you know, you we live in La

850
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 1: number one, there's something going on all the time, always

851
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: an excuse to have a cocktail. It's like it's a

852
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: Monday at three o'clock and someone's having some freaking gifting

853
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 1: suite with fabulous cocktails. Then the holidays roll around and

854
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 1: it's like time to blow it the fuck out, like

855
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 1: we're like we're drinking. That's just how it is. I

856
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: remember last week we did an episode, me and my assistant,

857
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 1: and she was asking me what my Thanksgiving tradition used

858
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 1: to be, and I said, drinking.

859
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 3: Obviously, so common people who struggle with the alcohol used

860
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 3: to sort of. They will pinpoint exactly what drinks they

861
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 3: had and what time of day and what they would

862
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 3: drink for each holiday.

863
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 1: They'll know, of course wild, it's wild. I can pinpoint,

864
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 1: like you wake up, you start with the coffee and Bailey's,

865
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: then you graduate to the mimosas. Then as it starts

866
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: getting to be lunchtime, you want your little bloody Mary

867
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 1: because that's, you know, more savory. I just remember it

868
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: like it was yesterday and now I'm going into my

869
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: third holiday.

870
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 4: Graul.

871
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: No, well thanks to you.

872
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 4: I'm just like you did it. I didn't do much.

873
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: I mean you open and you opened that door and

874
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 1: I don't know if that would have happened for me

875
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: without you. And sorry I'm getting emotional about it.

876
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 4: I love that.

877
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 1: I'm beyond grateful for you. I wrote about you in

878
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: my book.

879
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 4: Oh you did.

880
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, you know, please don't read it. Please

881
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: don't read the book. I just know you're in there,

882
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 1: and I'm forever grateful and I'm so happy that you

883
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: could do the podcast with me today and make people

884
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 1: feel safe and like it's okay to struggle at this time.

885
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 1: But we got this, everybody. We're going to go into

886
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: the holidays and we're going to feel our feels and

887
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: we're going to remember what doctor Cohen said, Everything is temporary,

888
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: Doctor Cohen, thank you so so much.

889
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 4: Thank you.

890
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 3: I'm so I'm so inspired by you. And honestly, the

891
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 3: star power, I mean, one of the cool things about LA.

892
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 3: As much as there's a cocktail at every event, there's

893
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 3: also a sober person on every corner.

894
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 4: Talking about it. And I think the star.

895
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 3: Power in sobriety is really incredible and helps a lot

896
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,760
Speaker 3: of young people, people people of allayed just get sober

897
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 3: because they hear people.

898
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 4: Like you talking about it. So so proud of you

899
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 4: and happy for you.

900
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'll let you go enjoy your day,

901
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,919
Speaker 1: enjoy your gorgeous baby, and again, thank you so much.

902
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 4: You take care, thank you, I talked about it,