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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini years. So many episode, motherfucking mini years. So yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome

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Speaker 1: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the

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Speaker 1: podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove the theories

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Speaker 1: that you the listener have at home. That's right, bitch,

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Speaker 1: it's a motherfucking mini episode. But I'm the light skinning.

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Speaker 1: It's bird in the man Jingo. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: what he meant by that. I don't know either. We can't.

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Speaker 1: We can't funk around because we we got an email

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Speaker 1: from one of these these people at home. I'm very

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Speaker 1: excited to share. They've just been coming in. It droves.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. The Google keeps telling us, hey, man, this

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Speaker 1: is too many emails. There's too many, it's too many.

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Speaker 1: With all these emails, hey, keep them coming, I say,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna read them. But you know what, do

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Speaker 1: you want us to read the dictionary? It's too long.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of pages in there. I just know

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Speaker 1: the hits. That's what we can't do it. Yeah, big,

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Speaker 1: the Big Five, they're not covering the dictionary. I look titties,

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Speaker 1: that's all I need. I gotta ussum in a current

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Speaker 1: Oxford Dictionary, titties appears. Do you think so? I think so?

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Speaker 1: What about what about today's And I don't think that

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Speaker 1: one's in there? S not in there? No, nor tic

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Speaker 1: old biddies. I don't think he's made its way into

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Speaker 1: the dictionary. Nothing. I don't know if booty Licious is

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Speaker 1: in there. Two old biddies has got to be in there.

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Speaker 1: Beyonce ain't talking about tick old biddies. Man, she needs to.

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Speaker 1: She needs to, and that's been my issue with her

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Speaker 1: as an artist. If I'm being not enough titty talk

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Speaker 1: and certainly not enough to old biddie stuff. No, you

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Speaker 1: gotta go over to Scissor for that. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: not gonna lie. What's her name, Scott, Jill Scott. She

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Speaker 1: talked about titties quite a bit. Uh, Azalia banks, if

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Speaker 1: you can, if you can handle if you can handle

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Speaker 1: that cat murder, she she talked about titties. I can't

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Speaker 1: handle that. You can handle that? Not me? I go home.

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Speaker 1: If Azalia walks into a party that it's so crazy.

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Speaker 1: I gotta see what's gonna happen. I'm gonna be like

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Speaker 1: because now you know, like they how they say you

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Speaker 1: can you start seeing ghosts because you welcome that into

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Speaker 1: your world. That like, if you acknowledge the spiritual realm,

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Speaker 1: you will start to experience the spiritual realm. Because that's

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Speaker 1: how I feel about Azalia Banks. You know, so you've

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Speaker 1: welcome that, that evil into your your ship. You gotta

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Speaker 1: you gotta live with that. You said candy man in

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Speaker 1: the mirror. Don't be surprised when he kills your family.

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Speaker 1: Come on, man, he hooked you and you did that. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I get that. I'm here for it. Kill me. Well,

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Speaker 1: you've got a life to live. I've got I've got

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Speaker 1: limited I've got limited potential at this point. You still

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Speaker 1: you still got so much growing you can do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I got a gun. I'll be fun. I got one,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know how to use it well enough

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Speaker 1: yet that I feel like you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I know, Banks, you gotta be able to put her

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Speaker 1: down clean. You don't get it. You might need don't

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Speaker 1: get to put it in her thigh. She's gonna keep

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Speaker 1: coming forward. Oh no, it's her thigh. That's a Tuesday. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's eating a bullet before. You gotta be able to

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Speaker 1: go right between the eyeballs if you both ti because

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Speaker 1: our heart it's which is places, So both titties right,

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Speaker 1: both crazy as we we got a email from a person.

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Speaker 1: I hate that this doesn't have a segue at this point,

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Speaker 1: but how could it? But we got an email from

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Speaker 1: a person named Sammy who sent h an email with

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Speaker 1: the subject line my era tree and mom, Era tree

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Speaker 1: and mom is the way that this goes? And Sammy says,

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Speaker 1: h East Africa, Yeah, shout out to East Africa and

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Speaker 1: hey West Africa to what do both both africas South?

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Speaker 1: You're doing fine, you don't need it. Yeah, come on, man,

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Speaker 1: you know that's where the resources are stopped playing. You

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Speaker 1: got shopping malls, you got white people living in projects.

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Speaker 1: It's good down there, and somehow the projects are still

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Speaker 1: much better than whether black people are living. It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's complicated, is it? And I think it's pretty straightforward.

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Speaker 1: White people do better. Uh not in Africa? No, get

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Speaker 1: out China too. Yeah, just just do better by leaving

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Speaker 1: to those nice people to where they should be. I

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Speaker 1: guess anyway, back Africa, damn take it what do you

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Speaker 1: get out, Get the funk out of here and go

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Speaker 1: back to Constantinople or whatever the fuck, go back to Berlin. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you use sick os, sour croud, eating all right, turning

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Speaker 1: into hate speech real fast. Yeah, you can't call anybody,

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Speaker 1: you can't see anybody say anything eater than it's bad. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Once you start talking about eating, you're being like a bigot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: eating and like being sneaky, those two things, Why is that?

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Speaker 1: Why is everybody that's like, uh an evil race? They're sneaky?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. And is sneaking that back? That's and

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Speaker 1: that's why I'm asking It seems like sneaky has like

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Speaker 1: some positive connotations that they don't acknowledge. I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand, And what is it? The things I don't

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Speaker 1: like about a race are not because they're sneaky. That's

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Speaker 1: not even high on the list. Right. If you're smart,

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Speaker 1: you should be able to divert sneaky, right right? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: If I think you're sneaky, the suggestion is still you're

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Speaker 1: not smarter than me, you're just tricky. So just being

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Speaker 1: your smartest self and call out the trickster. That's all

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, tell you got to come with these fucking

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Speaker 1: pumpkin eaters, and you know who you are. We want

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Speaker 1: to say, but you know what it is, you know

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Speaker 1: what the fun it is. But but Sammy sent us

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Speaker 1: an email and he's he or she. I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: what Sammy is. Sammy sent us an email high lengths

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Speaker 1: and David. The conspiracy theory I want to share is

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Speaker 1: that my eartree and mom used to tell me as

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Speaker 1: a kid not to lick a spoon, as it will

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Speaker 1: make me weak. I used to like to lick cake

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Speaker 1: batter when when she made it, I always wondered if

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Speaker 1: by week she meant gay. For context, I grew up

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Speaker 1: to be a healthy, strong gay man. Do with this

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Speaker 1: information as you may, Sammy. I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: these boils down to the way that you were looking

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Speaker 1: to spoon. Uh okay, I do what you're saying. You

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Speaker 1: can lick a spoon for business or you can look

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Speaker 1: a spoon for pleasure. And it sounds like, Sammy, maybe

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Speaker 1: you were looking at that spoon a little a little

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Speaker 1: bit too business like. Yeah, I think you were going

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Speaker 1: all the way around the horn. I could, because I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know the problem is, I think she gave you

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Speaker 1: the cake batter spoon one time you cut the balls

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Speaker 1: and then she was like wait, she said, wait, no, wait,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, Hey, hey, what's that? Because my quest

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Speaker 1: because that doesn't even make sense, Like spoons, that's what

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Speaker 1: you do is you lick stuff off spoons, right, So

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Speaker 1: it feels too specific, right that, like, hey, spoons are

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Speaker 1: are ubiquitous. You're not offering another option besides licking. That's

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Speaker 1: how you do it. And so if if in fact

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Speaker 1: this this is a problem to lick the spoons this way, well, buddy,

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Speaker 1: you gotta self reflect. Yeah, I think that. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: feel like maybe, yeah, did she say that to your

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Speaker 1: other brothers? That's my question? Yeah, like was she did

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Speaker 1: she ban it from the house entirely, or was she like, okay,

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Speaker 1: everybody come get some keke better, But Sammy, don't let

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Speaker 1: me catch you fucking licking those spoons last time? You

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Speaker 1: know how you'd be licking those spoons and it ain't

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Speaker 1: the way that that that I this feels like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel like this was specifically his mom. Here's what

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Speaker 1: out what what first came to mind. And I did

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Speaker 1: not have the brilliance that you had about this being

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Speaker 1: potentially specific to him. But the first question I asked is, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: is this weakness a reference to like succumbing to our

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Speaker 1: like our desires that like the licking the spoon is

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Speaker 1: sort of like it's an act of of greed, almost

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Speaker 1: like a gluttonous behavior, And the weakness is not so

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Speaker 1: much about a physical weakness, but like an inability to

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Speaker 1: fight off like our fucking animal instincts. If that makes sense,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I understand, but you're already licking take better,

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Speaker 1: you're giving your animal instincts. Yeah, this isn't This isn't

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Speaker 1: like vegetables you play from a garden. This is oh no,

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Speaker 1: you're making a cake and you came in there and

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Speaker 1: that's already like it's like it's not there's yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: not like it's not a step that much removed, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like I understand that idea, but

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's not the difference between and then Mike.

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Speaker 1: It's not that it's not that big a difference for

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Speaker 1: a reference. Bory just he just sucked the funk out

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Speaker 1: of his bone and no, no, no, very hesitantly he

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Speaker 1: caught he gagged on it a little bit. That that

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Speaker 1: was the bar that weird at me. I was when

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Speaker 1: he started gagging and being like, it was like David happened.

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Speaker 1: I did spit on it first, but that's like I

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Speaker 1: didn't sit on it. And then afterwards I I threw it.

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Speaker 1: I threw it a little towel, a tiny little spoon

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Speaker 1: towel to clean itself up. I said, you should probably

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Speaker 1: get going. My mom's should be bags. Though, I'm probably

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Speaker 1: just gonna watch the new episode of Atlanta. So I'm

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Speaker 1: always like killing this year is good. Really, it's really

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Speaker 1: very good. It wasn't a big fan of season three,

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Speaker 1: but goddamn, are they knocking it? Knocking it out the park?

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Speaker 1: Was season four? They came back, They came back. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: this spoon thing, I think I think, I hate to say,

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Speaker 1: I think that this guy's mom I didn't like the

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Speaker 1: way he was spoon Okay that that Sammy, you you

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Speaker 1: were maybe uh you were doing too much with the spoon.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's not fair. That sucks. That does suck.

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Speaker 1: That does suck because and and you know, Sammy, you

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Speaker 1: already flagged this. You eventually grow up to be this,

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Speaker 1: this proud gay man, and maybe some of that was

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Speaker 1: a version of of physical exploration that you needed with

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Speaker 1: that spoon, wanted with that spoon, and a person is

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Speaker 1: stopping you from that exploration. They're stopping you the same

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Speaker 1: way that you know, me and my friends did wild

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Speaker 1: shit to to explore our sexuality as youth. You deserve

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Speaker 1: that opportunity to wait, what, huh what I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like I need to do this well anymore.

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Speaker 1: I could do nothing. I think you need to elaborate. No,

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Speaker 1: I think it was pretty clear and uh, I got

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Speaker 1: everything out of it that that needed to be gotten

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Speaker 1: and uh, and they don't do it now, I know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And we talked about this on pause

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Speaker 1: the fucking we we humped Ottomans at times video, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like the pretty Ricky video and ship and you know

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Speaker 1: you do you do fucking like weird ship with girls

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Speaker 1: that didn't make sense back you were still trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out like what the feeling was in your loins.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man

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Speaker 1: shouts a pretty Ricky for making us think they could

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Speaker 1: all be so simple. Yeah, you just you just pull

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Speaker 1: your tank top up at your waistline and you grind

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Speaker 1: the ship out of out of good Ashley furniture, out

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Speaker 1: of anything really anything anything in the room, anything you

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Speaker 1: trash cans? Yeah, toaster oping, I'm sucking it. Wat watching

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Speaker 1: me this toaster. I dare you to turn away when

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Speaker 1: I pluck the ship out this toast. I bet you

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Speaker 1: pretty Ricky wasn't as fucking as much as we thought

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Speaker 1: they were. I would dare to guess that only one

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Speaker 1: of them was was really fucking and yeah, and the

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Speaker 1: rest of them were sort of like just tagging along

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Speaker 1: because they were kids too, right, they were young. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they were like late teens, early twenties type ship. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because that song my Body was written by a child. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my body, your body, my body, your body, Like yeah,

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Speaker 1: now we get it. Yeah, talking about songs I used

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Speaker 1: to listen to wishing I had a girlfriend. Man, that's

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Speaker 1: what that song feels like. It was written about somebody

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Speaker 1: who is only like fucked through their jeans, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, it was a dry humping song.

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Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, your body, my body. It's it's hot.

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Speaker 1: They're both hot. It's hot. It's friction. It's about a friction.

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Speaker 1: You hot, like I'm hot, right, Yeah, it's out of

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Speaker 1: here right, I'm burning up. Maybe we should take our

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Speaker 1: clothes up. No, that's not an option for us. I

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Speaker 1: still ca well, Sammy. I think, if anything, what we've

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Speaker 1: learned is that you deserve the right to lick the spoon.

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Speaker 1: However you want to lick the spoon. I hope that

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Speaker 1: you're making cakes looking spoons all over the house these days. Bro, Bro,

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Speaker 1: I'll help you lick a spoon in in one fucking

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Speaker 1: room and then lick a spoon twice in another room.

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Speaker 1: Ah my god, I want it for you. Yeah, don't

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Speaker 1: don't let nobody tell you you can't lick a spoon

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Speaker 1: and it it makes you weak. It makes you strong, Sammy,

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Speaker 1: the way that you are also. And then I know

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Speaker 1: this is the end. But I just want to say

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Speaker 1: we did not talk about maybe he's just a fat kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh she was like, quit eating all that cake, batter,

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Speaker 1: fat fat boy. Oh no, oh man, that that hurts more.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know that that makes it sad, that

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Speaker 1: like it's just a mom being a different kind of

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Speaker 1: mean to their child. I guess I think regardless your

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Speaker 1: mom was mean, I think it's like that's the one

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Speaker 1: thing I think we can agree on that your mom

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Speaker 1: does not sound like the nicest lady. She might be

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Speaker 1: well meaning. We didn't we haven't met her, but she

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Speaker 1: came from a different time, at a different time, at

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Speaker 1: different different country. Yeah, she's she's Erratrian, for God's sakes,

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Speaker 1: she ain't used to these fat gays looking spoons. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: something all right? Well I think we did it. I

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Speaker 1: think I don't think there's any better way for us

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Speaker 1: in this conversation, Sammy, thank you so much for your email. Boy,

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Speaker 1: you could you tell the people where they could find

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Speaker 1: you what cool ship you have going on? You can

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Speaker 1: find me a cool guy jokes sadies seven or in

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Speaker 1: your kitchen looking at spoons. Go follow or on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: We watch them licks boons however whenever those videos come up,

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Speaker 1: and as always, you can follow me at Lengthston Kerman

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Speaker 1: on on all the platforms. And if you want to

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Speaker 1: send us your own conspiracy theories if you if you

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Speaker 1: want to send us your drops, if you want to

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Speaker 1: tell us about your main ass moms, send it to

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Speaker 1: my Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. That's about it, bye, bitch. Oh yes,

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Speaker 1: can you lend the nigga a pencil. Motherfucking many years,

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Speaker 1: So many year. Motherfucking many years. So, motherfucking many years, so,

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Speaker 1: motherfucking many years, said