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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great

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Speaker 1: stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my fiance told my son his mom cheated

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Speaker 3: just to get back in me.

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Speaker 4: Don't do that.

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Speaker 3: This does have a trigger warning for emotional so just

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Speaker 3: be gentle with yourselves. I male forty have been with

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Speaker 3: my fiance Sarah, female forty two for almost five years.

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Speaker 3: We dated in two thousand and eight, but being young

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Speaker 3: and her being a mom, I panicked.

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Speaker 5: And ended things. By the way, this does.

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Speaker 3: Come from a user particular fig forty thirty eight, and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 5: I'm Riley, I'm.

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Speaker 6: Carly, I'm Keon.

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Speaker 3: We try our best to give good advice goofully here,

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Speaker 3: but we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so

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Speaker 3: if you have, let us know you're taking the comments.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, We've had our ups and downs, mostly due

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Speaker 3: to my lack of understanding around boundaries on social media

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Speaker 3: since receiving an adhd I diagnosis. I've been medicated and

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Speaker 3: stopped impulsively liking posts, which was attention seeking linked to

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Speaker 3: childhood trauma. I've been getting counseling for this since the

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Speaker 3: start of this year. Having ADHD doesn't make what I

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Speaker 3: did acceptable. Between twenty twenty one and twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 3: there were several incidents Sarah found out I'd liked posts

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Speaker 3: from women I knew, which I honestly didn't remember doing.

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Speaker 3: We had a month apart in twenty twenty two when

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Speaker 3: this kept being brought up. During reconciliation, Sarah went through

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Speaker 3: my phone and saw me reactively telling mates I was

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Speaker 3: going to meet a girl for a hookup, though I

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Speaker 3: never followed through. In twenty twenty three, I had inappropriate

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Speaker 3: conversations with an old female friend about past experiences. I

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Speaker 3: accept these were wrong, apologized, and tried rebuilding trust. In

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Speaker 3: August twenty twenty four, we split ten days before my

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Speaker 3: son and I were supposed to go on holiday with

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Speaker 3: her and her daughter. I was fed up of being

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Speaker 3: constantly blamed for everything wrong with our relationship and her

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Speaker 3: trust issues. She begged me to come back when she

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Speaker 3: returned and said we could work on it together. That

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Speaker 3: never happened shortly after her birthday. In the fall, she

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Speaker 3: started bringing everything up again. In February of twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 3: I ended up in it U on life support for

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Speaker 3: two to three weeks after brain infection. Oh wow, I

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Speaker 3: lost all memory from December onwards and still don't recall

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Speaker 3: Christmas or large chunks from mid November until I came

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Speaker 3: out of a coma in March.

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Speaker 5: Oh wow, happens.

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Speaker 3: When I woke, I was greeted with questions who is

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Speaker 3: X and who did you buy flowers for? You were

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Speaker 3: seen with flowers. The neurologist told my fiance that I

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Speaker 3: may never recall these memories due to damage sustained while ill.

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Speaker 3: To this day, I have absolutely no idea what she's

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Speaker 3: talking about. I checked my bank statements and nothing.

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Speaker 5: Was withdrawn on those days.

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Speaker 3: Shortly after my discharge, we booked our wedding and I

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Speaker 3: was diagnosed with ADHD. I decided to start counseling, as

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Speaker 3: I felt guilty for the pain my actions apparently caused,

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Speaker 3: even though I still don't remember them. Again, everything was

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Speaker 3: brought up continuously. This pattern repeated with holidays in twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty four, arguments about me being a cheat escalated before

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Speaker 3: a planned trip to rhads C. I ended up swapping

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Speaker 3: me and my son for her other two daughters. Leading

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Speaker 3: up to our twenty twenty five holiday, there was friction

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Speaker 3: when her middle daughter changed her mind last minute, and

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Speaker 3: Sarah suggested future holidays without my son, which I refused.

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Speaker 3: On our twenty twenty five holiday, tensions started immediately. I

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Speaker 3: apologize for getting frustrated when she when suggesting sun beds

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Speaker 3: with shame shade after her daughter got sunburned. The breaking

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Speaker 3: point came on day three. I received a call that

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Speaker 3: a close family member had passed away and asked Sarah

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Speaker 3: to watch my son whilst I composed myself. She refused,

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Speaker 3: saying she wasn't babysitting. Throughout recent months, Sarah's been pressuring

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Speaker 3: me to tell my son why his mom and I

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Speaker 3: aren't together, as he feels out of place with a

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Speaker 3: different surname. I've refused because I let go of that

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Speaker 3: resentment for his benefit. Years ago, after I took a

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Speaker 3: call from my cousin, Sarah told me my son had

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Speaker 3: complained about being bossed around by his siblings and called

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Speaker 3: her daughter annoying. Sarah claimed he doesn't listen to her

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Speaker 3: because he wants his parents back together.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to be so real. I would never want

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Speaker 4: to be like, oh, p are you are you telling

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Speaker 4: us everything?

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Speaker 6: Someone did say earlier? Unreliable narrator.

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Speaker 4: I'm a little bit on the like, are we getting everything?

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Speaker 4: Were you truly only talking to these women when you

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Speaker 4: were broken up? You really can't find me.

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Speaker 5: He said that there were incidents.

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Speaker 3: He was like, but then he also and they were

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Speaker 3: breaken up for a little bit in twenty.

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Speaker 4: Twenty two, because he also said that he did have

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Speaker 4: to apologize and try to regain trust. And I feel

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Speaker 4: like we didn't get the full extent of what needed

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Speaker 4: to regain trust from okay.

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Speaker 3: When we went to get ready for dinner, Sarah and

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Speaker 3: her daughter disappeared for forty five minutes. I found my

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Speaker 3: son distressed, calling through the door of an empty room.

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Speaker 3: We eventually found them leaving the restaurant, having eaten without us,

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Speaker 3: despite Sarah claiming she'd look for us. The next morning

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Speaker 3: brought more accusations about putting my son at risk. I

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Speaker 3: said I didn't have emotional capacity for the drama and

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Speaker 3: suggested spending the day apart. Sarah responded that bringing the

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Speaker 3: kids together was a mistake and next year she can't

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Speaker 3: not take her daughter. That evening, I offered an olive branch,

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Speaker 3: texting about going shopping in town together at silence. When

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Speaker 3: we returned, they'd locked themselves in the main bedroom and

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Speaker 3: moved all my belongings to the smaller twin room with

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Speaker 3: my son. The complimentary toilagrees were gone, and the professional

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Speaker 3: photos I'd paid for were on the floor, with her

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Speaker 3: daughter's pictures removed. When I challenged this behavior, her fifteen

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Speaker 3: year old daughter stormed in and threw money at me.

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Speaker 3: I told her not to get involved in adult conversations.

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Speaker 3: That night, my son and I ate alone, then walked

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Speaker 3: to play chess. On our way to the beach bar. Afterwards,

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Speaker 3: I saw Sarah and a group of six people with

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Speaker 3: a man's arm resting on her chair back. Not wanting

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Speaker 3: my son involved in a confrontation, I messaged asking about it.

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Speaker 3: Sarah's response was defensive, wild imagination, that's in your head.

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Speaker 3: I replied that roles reversed should be furious and asked

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Speaker 3: if I had misread this situation. Her dismissive attitude and

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Speaker 3: hypocrisy were clear, especially given her constant accusations about my

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Speaker 3: past behavior.

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Speaker 4: There is no try in this relationship. Yeah, why did

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Speaker 4: you guys get back together? Why did you guys get married?

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Speaker 3: On the penultimate night, I offered dinner together, but was

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Speaker 3: ignored as I sat on our balcony. Later, I watched

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Speaker 3: Sarah and her new group get into a minibus and leave.

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Speaker 3: Twenty minutes later, my phone pinged with a family location alert,

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Speaker 3: asking if Sarah's iPhone was lost, as it was at

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Speaker 3: a restaurant in town. I removed myself from the location

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Speaker 3: sharing and messaged about her disrespectful behavior. I also discovered

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Speaker 3: she'd rummaged through my belongings and taken items. She returned

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Speaker 3: near midnight. When I confronted her about taking my things,

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Speaker 3: she claimed they weren't mine because she'd bought them. The

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Speaker 3: argument that followed was explosive. My son retreated to the

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Speaker 3: balcony as I called her behavior disrespectful and mentioned her

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Speaker 3: hypocrisy about the man's arm on her chair. She snapped,

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Speaker 3: it was there for a moment.

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Speaker 5: I don't have to explain it to you. You're a cheat.

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Speaker 3: Her daughter joined in, shouting that I wasn't her dad.

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Speaker 3: I responded directly, I'd never tried to be her dad.

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Speaker 3: He was at home with his new girlfriend and it

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Speaker 3: wasn't my fault they don't see him.

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Speaker 4: Then, Oh, you're saying that back to a kid, though

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Speaker 4: I know they're a kid. Let's like, let's not yell

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Speaker 4: at the kids back, and let's just like be like, dude,

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Speaker 4: you're a kid.

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Speaker 3: And like the way that she's treating his son to like,

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Speaker 3: I just feel back. Then, reacting to something Sarah said,

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Speaker 3: I added, don't worry. Looks like it won't be long

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Speaker 3: before your mom replaces me with someone else. Sarah then

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Speaker 3: committed the unforgivable act. She turned to my twelve year

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Speaker 3: old son, you want to know why your mom and

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Speaker 3: dad broke up, asked her about how she was a slag.

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Speaker 5: And cheated on your dad. That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: She got in my face and we both made vicious

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Speaker 3: comments about each other's insecurities. I told her what she

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Speaker 3: does is toxic and harmful, using whatever I've done wrong

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Speaker 3: as a weapon in every argument. I also brought up

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Speaker 3: how she weaponizes the girl's dad against them when arguing,

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Speaker 3: don't be a witch to me because your dad isn't

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Speaker 3: putting you first. Oh my gosh, so like the wife

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Speaker 3: is saying this lot when the dust settled, I apologize

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Speaker 3: to her daughter privately, good acknowledging my part in the

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Speaker 3: argument and the wrong things I said. She responded with

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Speaker 3: cherry picked insults, but I didn't want to escalate further

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Speaker 3: and said I regret what happened. The next day, when

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Speaker 3: I asked if they were okay and wished I could

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Speaker 3: turn back time, she called me vile and harmful. Later

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Speaker 3: at the water park, her group appeared and one man

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Speaker 3: kept staring intently. When my son and I went to

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Speaker 3: the racing sides, passing their group, the same man continued staring.

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Speaker 3: After coming down the side, I stopped, told my son

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Speaker 3: to go to the sunbed and asked the man if

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Speaker 3: he knew me and why he was staring. I suggested

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Speaker 3: he mind his business, or we could take it round

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Speaker 3: the corner.

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Speaker 4: At this point, this sounds awful for both of you guys,

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Speaker 4: for all of your kids.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my god.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. We avoided each other until departure.

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Speaker 3: Mysteriously, my razor that had been in my washbag and

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Speaker 3: packed in my case somehow ended up in my hand

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Speaker 3: luggage a medicine bag, causing airport security to search and

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Speaker 3: question me before destroying it. Since returning, I've been trying

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Speaker 3: to retrieve my belongings whilst discovering She's been telling everyone

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Speaker 3: I was aggressive and harmful from the start, claiming she

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Speaker 3: did nothing wrong. I'm not innocent in the arguments and

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Speaker 3: regret what happened, but she's painting it as completely one sided.

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Speaker 3: I will not let her around my son alone. My

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Speaker 3: issues that believing you have an excuse for poor behavior

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Speaker 3: doesn't make it okay.

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Speaker 4: Sounds like you both kind of have some excuses for

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Speaker 4: poor behavior and neither of you should think it's okay.

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Speaker 3: That was the story of Garlic.

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Speaker 5: I don't have any more updates for you.

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Speaker 7: Male.

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Speaker 4: Okay, cool?

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Speaker 5: You know I.

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Speaker 3: Hope that that familial unit becomes no longer a unit.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, take your kids, separate, some therapy for all.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend's ex accuse me of replacing her as a mom,

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Speaker 4: and I lost it.

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Speaker 5: You're not my mom.

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Speaker 4: I twenty nine female have been dating this man Joseph

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Speaker 4: thirty nine, male for six years. Four of those years

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Speaker 4: officially living together, and two were more like vetting and

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Speaker 4: dating around on both sides. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly,

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Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good

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Speaker 4: advice goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 4: only know what we would do, So let us know

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Speaker 4: what you would do in the chat or the comments,

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Speaker 4: and Opie says. In the years leading up to and

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Speaker 4: during the first four months of us living together, his

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Speaker 4: three daughters adored me and my daughter. The oldest two

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Speaker 4: are his biologically and the baby girl was a paternity

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Speaker 4: question that turned out not to be his, but he

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Speaker 4: still stepped up and loved her when we met. Now

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Speaker 4: we both love her. They all have the same mom.

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Speaker 4: We got along well with no issues or attitude, just

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Speaker 4: the honeymoon phase. One of his daughters has behavior you'res

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Speaker 4: consistent with add and odd, and her mother refuses to

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Speaker 4: get her the help she needs. In her view, people

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Speaker 4: only use diagnoses as crutches, which fine, it's her prerogative,

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Speaker 4: but the do nothing row is not working for either

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Speaker 4: household and only sets the child up for failure. I

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Speaker 4: have a nine year career in behavioral health and I

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Speaker 4: have advocated for therapy and classes for the child. I

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Speaker 4: even made Joseph take parenting classes with me and attend

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Speaker 4: state trainings relevant to his daughter's behaviors, things like personal harm, screaming,

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Speaker 4: and violent outbursts. She is eleven now. A major behavior

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Speaker 4: is the learned behavior of triangulation, and that is important

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Speaker 4: for what comes next. Okay, Over the past four years,

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Speaker 4: I have documented about twelve different instances where his children's

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Speaker 4: mother has directed accusations or negative comments toward me by

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Speaker 4: texts to him, allegedly expressed to her by the children,

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Speaker 4: which I sincerely doubt the youngest and oldest are involved in.

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Speaker 4: We have really great relationships, in my opinion, she uses

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Speaker 4: them as cover. Also worth noting that I have never

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Speaker 4: responded to her or addressed her directly. I always clarify

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Speaker 4: with Joseph and he responds how he sees fit. Usually

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Speaker 4: he corrects her assumptions and then ignores the drama. But

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Speaker 4: this most recent incident triggered me into oblivion. Joseph woke

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Speaker 4: me up, five months pregnant, at eleven fifty PM to

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Speaker 4: show me a text message she sent him. It said

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Speaker 4: that she was informed I had told her daughters to

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Speaker 4: call me mom, and she wanted to make it clear

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Speaker 4: that I am not their mother and she would not

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Speaker 4: tolerate them. She wrote that she told the girls they

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Speaker 4: have a mom and it is her, and no matter

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Speaker 4: how much we acted differently, it is what it is.

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Speaker 4: She said it was weird that Joseph would allow that,

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Speaker 4: comparing it to her letting her fiance tell their daughters

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Speaker 4: to call him dad. Joseph explained that he did not

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Speaker 4: believe her, and he knew she was making it up,

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Speaker 4: but it was too late. I was immediately on guard.

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Speaker 4: I was raised in a subset's influenced environment by my

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Speaker 4: great aunt. She was barren and forced my sister and

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Speaker 4: me to call her mom. She was cruel, and our

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Speaker 4: biological mother was still present in our lives to a degree.

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Speaker 5: It's a weird dynamic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah I'm your mother, you're not, so we still see

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Speaker 4: our mom.

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Speaker 5: My mom's over there.

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Speaker 4: It was conflicting and incredibly uncomfortable. When Joseph went to

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Speaker 4: take a shower, I was left sitting alone with my emotions.

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Speaker 4: I broke my silence and texted her directly for the

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Speaker 4: first time ever. I told her that I had never

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Speaker 4: told her children to address me as their mother, to

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Speaker 4: call me as their mother. Or to even see me

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Speaker 4: as a maternal figure in their life. I explained that

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Speaker 4: her child had explicitly expressed to me that she refers

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Speaker 4: to me as her stepmother and wanted to be sure

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Speaker 4: I was comfortable with that. I told her yes, because

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Speaker 4: I see them as my step children. I added that

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Speaker 4: later in the day I realized that I do not

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Speaker 4: step love them and that message it was only expressed

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Speaker 4: to the oldest child, not all of that.

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Speaker 5: Don't step love you. That's so I really love you.

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Speaker 4: I told her I was not sure where the miscommunication

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Speaker 4: keeps happening, but that if she continued to respond to

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Speaker 4: her children or her misinterpretations in a way that breeds

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Speaker 4: hostility and resentment, we could never have effective communication. I

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Speaker 4: also gave her my number and said that if she

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Speaker 4: ever had a problem or misunderstanding about something I had

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Speaker 4: discussed with her children, she could reach out to me directly.

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Speaker 4: I reminded her that Joseph cannot facilitate conversations. He's not

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Speaker 4: present for I told her that if she had ever

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Speaker 4: taken ten minutes in the past four years to understand me,

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Speaker 4: she would know that what I was being accused of

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Speaker 4: was so far from my character that it was disturbing.

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Speaker 4: I said that I hoped my message provided reassurance, and

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Speaker 4: that I had never and would never desire for her

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Speaker 4: children to refer to me as their mother. I never

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Speaker 4: even asked them to refer to me as their stepmother.

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Speaker 4: That was something thing they decide for themselves. If they

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Speaker 4: stopped doing so tomorrow, I would not be offended. I

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Speaker 4: assumed she was referring to a text I had sent

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Speaker 4: her daughter a few days earlier. She was not, but

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Speaker 4: for context, that message said that I was wrong earlier,

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Speaker 4: that she was not my stepdaughter, she was just my daughter,

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Speaker 4: and that I loved her the same way I loved Jackie.

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Speaker 4: I told her there was no step to it, that

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Speaker 4: I was sorry the night was rough, and then I

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Speaker 4: hope she learned that help and support were always here.

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Speaker 4: I told her she deserved greatness, great days, and great nights,

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Speaker 4: and that I loved her very much. Joseph got upset

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Speaker 4: with me for deviating from our usual dynamic where I

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Speaker 4: stay silent and let him handle it.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, that.

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Speaker 8: Doesn't seem like too much of like a boundary crossed.

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Speaker 4: It's just like unless you guys had like some set

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Speaker 4: thing which it didn't sound like you did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: I mean it doesn't seem like, oh, he's trying to

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Speaker 8: be like you need to call me mom, right, just

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Speaker 8: being like I love you like my kids.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. He read the message I sent and her reply,

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Speaker 4: which said there was zero hostility in what she said.

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Speaker 4: She was just making things clear. She said that whatever

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Speaker 4: I thought I told them, her daughters took as me

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Speaker 4: telling them to call me mom. Uh, and she was

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Speaker 4: making it known that it was a no go. She

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Speaker 4: said she did not see a text and had no

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Speaker 4: knowledge of it, that it was just what she was told,

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Speaker 4: and told me not to text her number again. So

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Speaker 4: I texted her again. I said that there was zero hostility,

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00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,960
Speaker 4: but that telling me not to text her again was

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Speaker 4: delusional and hostile. I told her I would not text

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00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 4: or email again after that. I said that Joseph and

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Speaker 4: she made two of those beautiful souls, and we all

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00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,840
Speaker 4: love all three of them. I told her there was

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Speaker 4: no question about who their mother is, that she gave

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Speaker 4: them life and I was just another adult female influence

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Speaker 4: in their lives. I said they chose to call me

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Speaker 4: their stepmother and asked if I was comfortable with that.

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00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,880
Speaker 4: I agreed. I told her that if they misunderstood their

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Speaker 4: own question, I could not speak to their apprehension, but

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00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 4: I believed they were all smarter than that. I said,

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Speaker 4: maybe it was more about her interpretation. I pointed out

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Speaker 4: that every week there was a new problem after the

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00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 4: girls went back to her house, and that in my world,

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00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 4: this was just this week's problem. It just happened to

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Speaker 4: be personal enough that I felt the need to speak

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Speaker 4: up this one time. I ended by telling her to

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Speaker 4: have a blessed one and sent prayers. No listen, she said,

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Speaker 4: don't talk to me again. She said, talk to her again.

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Speaker 4: And not only that, but you ended it with something

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Speaker 4: that I would probably personally take a little bit passive aggressive.

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Speaker 4: I maybe I got to have a blessed one, thoughts

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Speaker 4: and prayers.

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Speaker 5: I feel like that was the intention. I feel like.

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Speaker 8: If you were only like, if she's responding hostily or

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00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 8: you know, texting you in a hostile away and the

364
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,879
Speaker 8: only way that you feel that you can respond is

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Speaker 8: to match that energy, then at that point we just

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Speaker 8: let you.

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Speaker 4: Let Hobby send Hobby back again.

368
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Speaker 5: Let me say, hey, you take care of this.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, you got anything else before we know this, Let's

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00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 8: get into it.

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Speaker 4: Let's do it. She ignored me, but acknowledged receipt of

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Speaker 4: the message to Joseph, saying something like it's her words

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Speaker 4: versus the children. She shouldn't be seeing our private text

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Speaker 4: when it's this important. I'm glad it's cleared up now,

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Speaker 4: but this kind of thing that should stay between us.

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Speaker 4: Don't give out my contact again. Joseph ignored her. So

377
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 4: now I ask am I the A hole for finally

378
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Speaker 4: speaking up for myself even if it went against the

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Speaker 4: keep the peace routine Joseph and I had. We didn't

380
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Speaker 4: argue for more than ten minutes, but I'm still left

381
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 4: feeling misunderstood. I wasn't disrespectful or aggressive. Right, we have

382
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 4: some comments, but I think maybe that last one could

383
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 4: have gotten a.

384
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Speaker 7: Little bit.

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00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 4: Comment to one, not the a hole. But in my opinion,

386
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 4: this is ultimately your boyfriend's fault for not addressing her

387
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,120
Speaker 4: toxicity in the beginning. How did you not get your

388
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 4: child evaluated? It's not her decision alone. If this is

389
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 4: his child, courts can be involved and order it. Him

390
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 4: being okay with y'all. Never meeting or having a conversation

391
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 4: after knowing he wants a life with you is part

392
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,440
Speaker 4: of the problem. You think it's bad, now, wait till

393
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 4: you have that baby. She can use to manipulate her kids,

394
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,160
Speaker 4: telling them dad doesn't love them as much. Imagine how

395
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 4: it will be when y'all get married. He needs to

396
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,479
Speaker 4: get this under control or you will be in for

397
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Speaker 4: a lot of stress. That is the end of that story.

398
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Speaker 5: And there it is. There it is. Wow.

399
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think you just gotta go through your boyfriend

400
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 8: on this, you know.

401
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 4: Going forward. I say, yeah, that'll keep a little bit

402
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,200
Speaker 4: more peace. Yeah, maybe he can stand up a little

403
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 4: bit more, but hopefully, And that's the end of this story.

404
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 4: We're going on to the next one.

405
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 9: I refused to walk my daughter down the aisle because I'm.

406
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 1: Not her real father and you are not the father.

407
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 9: My daughter, twenty six female and I haven't spoken in years.

408
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 9: When she was fifteen, we found out she wasn't my

409
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 9: biological daughter, and my wife had cheated on me years

410
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 9: ago with a friend. By the way, this comes from

411
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,960
Speaker 9: user her wedding day. And if you want to submit

412
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,639
Speaker 9: your own stories, go to the our slash Okay swat.

413
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 9: I'm Subreday, I'm Dakota, I am Raleigh, and I'm Angie

414
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 9: and we're here to give you good advice, goofy, But

415
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 9: we don't have all the answers. We really know what

416
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 9: we would do, so if you would do something differently,

417
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 9: you just let us know. In them their comments. As

418
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 9: it turns out, this so called friend was suddenly interested

419
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 9: in playing dad. My wife and I divorced. My daughter

420
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 9: learned the truth, and I told her I still loved

421
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,439
Speaker 9: her no matter what course. She was interested now in

422
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 9: getting to know her biological father, and while it hurt,

423
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 9: I tried to accept that. She started pulling away from

424
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 9: me after that, even when trying to still do things

425
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 9: together as a family, she was no longer interested. The

426
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 9: last straw was when she was twenty and living at

427
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Speaker 9: my house. We were arguing because she had dropped from

428
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 9: her college courses, hadn't done anything for three months, and

429
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 9: was mad because I told her she either needed to

430
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 9: go to school or work if she wanted to stay

431
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 9: here for free. She told me I'm not her real dad,

432
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Speaker 9: so stop pretending like I am, and she'd just go

433
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Speaker 9: stay with.

434
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Speaker 1: Her real father. That broke me, honestly.

435
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 9: I told her, if that's how she really feels, then

436
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 9: there's really nothing left to say between us, and she

437
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 9: did go move out to live with him. I was

438
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 9: depressed for a very long time and drank way too much.

439
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 9: My son twenty four mail was my only reason to

440
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 9: keep moving forward. For the first couple of years, I

441
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 9: reached out to my daughter. She wanted no contact, so

442
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 9: I learned to accept that and move on. It helped

443
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 9: me find more peace in my life. My son stopped

444
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 9: talking to her for a while over this and was

445
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 9: angry with her. They still chat sometimes, which doesn't bother

446
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 9: me at all. Through him, I learned her biological father

447
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 9: passed away in October of twenty nineteen, and also that

448
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 9: she's engaged. She reached out to me first, saying that

449
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 9: she knows that we haven't talked in a while, but

450
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 9: she wants to ask me if i'd be willing to

451
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 9: walk her down the aisle. After a pretty long message

452
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 9: about how much she hurt me in the past with

453
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 9: her actions, I told her no. She didn't want me

454
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 9: to be her father anymore, so I learned to no

455
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 9: longer view her as my daughter. This turned into a

456
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 9: fight between us because according to her, it's not her fault.

457
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 9: She wanted to know her real dad, and I agreed

458
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 9: with her that it's not, but what was her fault

459
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 9: was how she treated me. Ever since, in my mind,

460
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 9: I know if he hadn't passed, he wouldn't even be

461
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 9: speaking right now. It ended with me telling her I

462
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 9: hope she enjoys her wedding, but I want no part

463
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 9: of it or her life. My son told me that

464
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 9: she's ranting to my family that I'm ruining her day

465
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 9: and that she thought parents were supposed to love their

466
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 9: kids unconditionally, but he's not your dad. My brothers now

467
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 9: seemed to think that I'm being an a hole and

468
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 9: that this is my chance to be in her life again,

469
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 9: but I have no interest in that.

470
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 1: Still, everyone seems to have a strong opinion.

471
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 9: That I'm making it difficult for my daughter to have

472
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 9: the wedding she wants when it would mean a lot

473
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 9: to her. My son is on my side, but the

474
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 9: comments are still wearing me down. And just for the

475
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 9: sake of my sanity, am I being an a hole?

476
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,479
Speaker 9: There are some comments here. A downloaded comment says you're

477
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 9: the a hole. I'm sorry about what you've been through,

478
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 9: but I think you're going to regret this. Your daughter

479
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 9: was just a kid when she found out you weren't

480
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 9: her biological father, and while you've been through it, the

481
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 9: whole thing must have messed with her head in ways

482
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 9: You can't even imagine. The exchange you had when she

483
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 9: was twenty and you told her to get a job

484
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 9: and she cut contact is actually something that happens to

485
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 9: a lot of biological parents. So it's unpleasant and unreasonable

486
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 9: as her behavior was, it's not particularly unusual, and reconciliation

487
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 9: as possible. Does she have a responsibility now that she's

488
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 9: older and wiser to put all that angst and confusion

489
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 9: behind her and handle the situation like an adult. Yes,

490
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 9: and that's what she's trying to do.

491
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,919
Speaker 10: She could have done that before her dad her or

492
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 10: her real dadt and she could.

493
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's it is what it is, Opie says. Reconciliation

494
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 9: is not something I want anymore. I've made peace with

495
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 9: my life for the first time since this whole thing

496
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 9: came out. Come out of one not the a hole.

497
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 9: She decided that you are not her father in any capacity.

498
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: You've respected that.

499
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 9: Now that the other guy is gone, she doesn't get

500
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 9: to change the rules. She doesn't want you. She wants

501
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 9: someone to.

502
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: Play a part.

503
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 9: Maybe your son could be the one to give her

504
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 9: her way instead. Opie says, maybe, but he's already said

505
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 9: he's not going to the wedding, not because of just this,

506
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,199
Speaker 9: he just doesn't want to. I don't know what his

507
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 9: response would be if she asked him. They're not super close,

508
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 9: despite talking every now and then. An OPI on his

509
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 9: son and daughter's relationship, he says, they've had their own issues.

510
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 9: I've told him many times that I'm more than okay

511
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 9: with him still having a relationship with his sister, and

512
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 9: he should go to the wedding.

513
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: Ohp. He clarifies.

514
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 9: On if he spoke with his daughter face to face,

515
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 9: Opie says, the meeting was in person. Even if I

516
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 9: felt her apology was genuine, my feelings would remain the same.

517
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: Trust me.

518
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 9: I know how much of a shock it was when

519
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 9: she found out, on top of that, divorcing her mom.

520
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,719
Speaker 9: It's why we had her and my son in therapy

521
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 9: for years to help her and us process everything. It's

522
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,719
Speaker 9: been well over six years since she decided she didn't

523
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 9: want us to have a relationship. It cuts you deep,

524
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 9: and with help from my son as well as therapy,

525
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 9: eventually I managed to get by. Finally, I have found

526
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 9: peace in my life and don't intend to lose it.

527
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: And there's an update.

528
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 9: And I think the whole moral of this story is

529
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 9: that he has like two sodas and he just shakes

530
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 9: some shakesp up, oh yeah, and then he opens one

531
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 9: right away and it like explodes in the soda goes everywhere.

532
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 9: And it's basically just saying, like when you're like angry

533
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 9: and worked up and you say something, once that comes out,

534
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 9: you can't really put it back in the bottle.

535
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 1: It's too late. And there's an update.

536
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 9: Thank you for your support, especially those fellow parents who

537
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 9: reached out in my messages advice, judgment and suggestions on

538
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 9: what to do about my family. It took sending a

539
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 9: mass text to everyone who wouldn't leave me alone about this.

540
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 9: Took me some time to think of what to write

541
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 9: and clear my head from everything. The reminder of everything

542
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 9: that I did over the years to try and be

543
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 9: in her life and where that all ended, how detrimental

544
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 9: it was to my mental health. They all remember what

545
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 9: it was like and how much it put me in

546
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 9: a dark place that took lots of therapy and the

547
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 9: need to be there for my son to get out of.

548
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 9: My brother called me after, and he apologized for the

549
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 9: way he had been pushing this. We had a much

550
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 9: longer conversation. I told him my decision to remain out

551
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 9: of her life was final, so he respected that. Since

552
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 9: no one else has said anything, I'm hoping that means

553
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 9: everybody else got the message. Best thing someone suggested here

554
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 9: was blocking out the others saying things and her It

555
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 9: wasn't doing my mind any good. I spoke to her

556
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 9: over the phone to talk about the way she's been

557
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 9: behaving online and the others in the family. I apologized

558
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 9: for how things happened and wish she didn't have to

559
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 9: deal with these life altering moments at such a young age.

560
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 9: She made her choice for the past six years, just

561
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 9: the way I have even asked her to be honest

562
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 9: with herself and answered not to me. If her biological

563
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 9: father hadn't passed, would we be here right now speaking

564
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 9: to each other.

565
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 1: But that's fine.

566
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 9: It's a question for her to honestly answer for herself

567
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 9: like I did before. I told her to enjoy her

568
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 9: wedding and hope it's a lovely, healthy marriage. The way

569
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 9: that he has gone about is it's not like he's

570
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 9: like vengeful or doing it because it's like, well, that's

571
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 9: what you get. He's like, no, I do literally, I mean,

572
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 9: I don't wish ill upon you. I hope that it

573
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 9: goes well. I hope you have a good one. I

574
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 9: hope your marriage goes well. But I'm just not gonna

575
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 9: be your dad sort of.

576
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 10: You know, actions have constant quinces, your action and choosing.

577
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 10: This is me withdrawing in your life, and you gotta

578
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 10: understand that, kid.

579
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 9: Your dad's gone get back to the wrong horse do.

580
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 1: The door to our relationship is closed.

581
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 9: I hope she could find peace with that and enjoy

582
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 9: her life the way I have. The conversation ended shortly

583
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 9: after that. She didn't say if she would stop saying

584
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 9: anything about me online, So I just made sure to

585
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 9: block her and others on her mom's side of the

586
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 9: family to make sure there's no more bothering. This is

587
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 9: the peace of mind I needed, and I'm glad to

588
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 9: have taken up this advice. And there's some more comments.

589
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 9: Ope explains more about his daughter's school, the divorce, and

590
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 9: his relationship with her.

591
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 1: Opie says, you want to know why she stopped school.

592
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: She said it wasn't for her at the time.

593
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 9: As she didn't know what to major in. She had

594
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 9: changed majors twice at the time.

595
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: Okay, it's fine.

596
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 9: School isn't for everyone, and it's understandable not knowing what

597
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 9: you want to do with your life. However, going out

598
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 9: with friends or you were moms and then doing nothing

599
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 9: at home isn't an option. I told her if she

600
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 9: wanted to keep living here rent free, as in, I

601
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 9: would start charging her for rent, not punt her out

602
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 9: than she needs to find a job while she figures

603
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 9: out what to do with her life. In regards to

604
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 9: the divorce, we had both kids in therapy because obviously

605
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 9: at the time nobody in the family was mentally equipped

606
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 9: to do it alone, and she had been in therapy

607
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 9: for years after to get used to all this new information,

608
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 9: as well as taking the proper steps to slowly introduce

609
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 9: her biological dad into her life, since she decided that's

610
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 9: what she wanted. What makes you think I took a

611
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 9: step back from being a father when he started coming around?

612
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 9: Did you forget that she lived with me exactly. She

613
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 9: wanted to get to know him and have a relationship,

614
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 9: so we worked to make that happen. What other details

615
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 9: would you like to know rather than making up assumptions

616
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 9: about my life.

617
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 10: It seems like you did the practical things that have

618
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 10: a nice relationship with his daughter and oh like his

619
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 10: daughter's bio dad and the other thing he had to navigate.

620
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 10: Correct me if I'm wrong here. My reading comprehensions a

621
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 10: little off on this story. Didn't Opie's wife she yeah,

622
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 10: on him with this guy. Yeah, that's also another thing

623
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 10: Opie had to navigate, is like, how can I have

624
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 10: a relationship with my daughter's biofather that also, you know,

625
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 10: was boinking my wife on the side.

626
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think he was ever going to

627
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: have a relationship with that guy. Yeah.

628
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 9: It's more just like how do I navigate that with

629
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 9: my daughter? And it's like, yeah, I'll let her do whatever,

630
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 9: Like he did literally everything right. This may not be relevant,

631
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 9: but if you're still listed as her father on the

632
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 9: birth certificate, please update your will as you would want,

633
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 9: or else she could claim a portion of your inheritance

634
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 9: and hope. He says, sorry, I didn't answer before, but

635
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 9: I'm no longer on her birth certificate.

636
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: WHOA, and that is that's how far they went and

637
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: not my daughter.

638
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 9: I'm not your dad.

639
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: Oh my you go now your dad, I'm now your dad.

640
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 9: I'm not your dad. That is insane And honestly, if

641
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 9: she had maybe come back in a way that was

642
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 9: like just maybe even five percent, I actually am concerned

643
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 9: about yeah you yeah, I hope you're doing okay, any

644
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 9: sympathy all about how this happened, and like it was

645
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 9: a mistake I regret it. Instead, it was just like, well,

646
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 9: you're my dad, so don't you want to walk me

647
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 9: down the aisle. I know it's been a while, but

648
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 9: don't you want to walk me down the aisle. As

649
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 9: soon as you said no, she was like.

650
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 10: OPI has gotten more impressions off of this video on

651
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 10: every single platform than you daughter will ever have. And

652
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 10: we are seeing his side.

653
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

654
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: the next one. Hey y'all, it's John og host here.

655
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

656
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: quick three minute break from asper More sponsors. My sister

657
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 2: demanded me to move my wedding date because she's pregnant.

658
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 4: Well have your baby a little bit.

659
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 1: Faster than that's right, Squeeze it out.

660
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: I'm in a bit of a weird situation. My fiance

661
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 2: and I are the most traditional and wanted to have

662
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 2: our wedding as more of a family vacation with the

663
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 2: bonus of a wedding. My parents have a beautiful lakefront

664
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: house that we decided to have our wedding at. By

665
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Helen Keller's voice, and if

666
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

667
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subreddits.

668
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm John, I'm in hi.

669
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 2: Riley purposely did that to her, and we're here to

670
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofley, but we don't have all the answers.

671
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: We only know what we do, so please let us

672
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. When we

673
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 2: initially were planning our wedding and figuring out dates, I

674
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 2: wanted to have it on June twenty sixth. Twenty sixth

675
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: is important to us because that's the day my fiance

676
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: and I first met, but when speaking over it with

677
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 2: my family, my sister said no.

678
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: Because she already had a vacation on that date.

679
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: I was sad, but it wasn't the end of the world,

680
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: so we decided on June fourth to June ninth. Everything

681
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: was working out perfectly. I let both of our families

682
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 2: know to put our wedding down for those dates and

683
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 2: started wedding planning.

684
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: It was all perfect until last night.

685
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 2: I got a FaceTime from my dad who showed me

686
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: the ultrasound and I was super excited, all of the

687
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 2: congratulations jumping around because I'm going to be an auntie.

688
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: I am so, so, so so excited for them and

689
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 2: for my future niece or nephew. But it all came

690
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 2: crashing down when I asked my sister when she is

691
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 2: due and she said May first, So we're gonna have

692
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: to talk about your wedding. I assume she just meant

693
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,719
Speaker 2: that she wasn't going to be able to be in attendance,

694
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: so I told them that it's okay and we can

695
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: just FaceTime them in and her jaw drop. I knew

696
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: my emotions would get the best of me, so I

697
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 2: said we can talk about it later. So we went

698
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: back to the congratulations and thinking of baby names. After

699
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 2: the call, I can't lie, I had a bit of

700
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 2: a breakdown. I already moved my dates wants to accommodate

701
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 2: my sister, which was all fine and I didn't push

702
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: back on it.

703
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: But after seven months of.

704
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: Planning, our wedding around the state and having my fiancee

705
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 2: plan around it.

706
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to change it.

707
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I know my family and they will push for

708
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: me to move it and will disrespect my decision not to.

709
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: I know traveling with a newborn baby is going to

710
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 2: be hard, which is why I offered up facetiming her instead,

711
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 2: But it seems like that's offensive to them to not

712
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 2: want my sister to be present at the wedding. I

713
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 2: feel so insanely guilty about being upset over having to

714
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: change my wedding dates because my sister is pregnant. She's

715
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: bringing a beautiful new family member into our lives. But

716
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: I'm still a bit heartbroken that if I don't change

717
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: the wedding date that I will be seen as an

718
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 2: inconsiderate a hole in my family. So it begs the question,

719
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 2: am I the a hole for not wanting to push

720
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 2: back my wedding because my sister is pregnant. We got

721
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: some comments ladies and gentlemen, so commenter says, not the

722
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: a hole, But I'd move back to the twenty sixth,

723
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 2: because that's the day that matters to you and your

724
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 2: fiance exactly. Now, she'll only want to go if she

725
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 2: can bring the baby, or she'll probably try get you

726
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 2: to move it even further, saying, so she's not traveling

727
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: with a newborn. Obviously, people are going to be upset

728
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: no matter what you do or don't do.

729
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: But all that really.

730
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 2: Matters is you and your fiance, because the moment y'all

731
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: are married, you're each other's main priorities and no one

732
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 2: else should matter when it comes to what you both want.

733
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: I'm very scared of that since she is going to

734
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: be a first time mama and we don't know if

735
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: she's going to have postpartum depression or PPA, if baby

736
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 2: is going to have colic. I'm scared that if I

737
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 2: do push back our wedding to August or September and

738
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: then she still can't make it. Slash wants us to

739
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: push it back even further, I will resent and distance

740
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 2: myself from her. And the commenter says, tell us, your

741
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 2: sister is the golden child without saying it, Opie says,

742
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 2: my sister is the golden child of the family. Well,

743
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: you said it, misunderstood the god dag it not tried

744
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 2: to be hidden. She's extremely involved in the family, visits

745
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 2: them every weekend while I live across the country, so

746
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: I only visit them typically once a year, but do

747
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 2: FaceTime them regularly. My parents are also very money driven,

748
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: and my sister is a doctor. In comparison to my

749
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 2: brother and I, who do trades. She's the definition of

750
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 2: the perfect child. She also typically plans all the trips, vacations,

751
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 2: or outings for my family because she's extremely Type A

752
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 2: and likes to control situations. You don't say she's a

753
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 2: bit stubborn, like sings her way or not. We've always

754
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 2: just gone with it because it's easier. I expected my

755
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 2: wedding to be the line, but I guess not commenter,

756
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: not the a whole. Remind the family that it's not

757
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: just your family that's being impacted by their push to

758
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 2: move the dates, and that those specific dates are the

759
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: only ones that work for both sides. Then tell them

760
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 2: that no, you will not move the dates to accommodate

761
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 2: your sister again, since you already did it once and

762
00:34:59,200 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 2: we have an update.

763
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: Do we think that they're going to agree? Yeah?

764
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 2: Eight days later, So a lot has happened in the

765
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: past few days. I called my brother the day after

766
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 2: I made my post. He understood where I was coming

767
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: from and told me that I should absolutely not change

768
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 2: my wedding dates. If only the sister's husband knew where

769
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 2: he was coming from, we wouldn't be here in.

770
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,240
Speaker 1: The first place.

771
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 2: Since I was worried about speaking to my mom and

772
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 2: being ganged up on, we planned when to speak to

773
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 2: my mom about not wanting to change my fiances and

774
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,479
Speaker 2: my wedding dates so he could be there to talk

775
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 2: to her on my behalf if my emotions got the

776
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 2: best of me.

777
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 1: That didn't happen.

778
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 2: My mom called me the next day to talk it over.

779
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 2: I informed her that I was not going to change

780
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 2: my wedding date yes, and she was upset initially but

781
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: surprisingly receptive to it. I was extremely happy about that

782
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 2: until she said, you need to talk to your sister

783
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 2: about that, because she's not going to be happy being

784
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 2: forced out one month postpartum. I explained that I wasn't

785
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 2: expecting or forcing her to attend. Then my mom said, no,

786
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: she's coming to your wedding. I don't care if she's

787
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 2: a new mom. After that, I got in a bit

788
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 2: of an argument with my mom about her forcing my

789
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: sister to do something that isn't the best for her.

790
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 1: And her future family.

791
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 2: Which ended with ME hanging up on her. I don't

792
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: take being spoken to in a harsh tone easily, and

793
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 2: we'll tell the other person to take a minute.

794
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: To reevaluate their tone to come back.

795
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 2: During the call, she also let slip that she was

796
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: extremely disappointed in me for going to my brother for

797
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 2: support instead of her, and said, I was just creating

798
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,479
Speaker 2: family drama for.

799
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: No reason, but it is what it is.

800
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: I needed a family perspective, which is why I called

801
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 2: my brother. I ended up trying to call my sister

802
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 2: the next day, but it was declined, so I texted

803
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 2: her and informed her that I would not be changing

804
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: my wedding date. It was a much longer text explaining

805
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 2: reasons and emotions. She replied a day later, with you

806
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 2: and I both know that your wedding dates aren't officially set.

807
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 2: The only factor would be communicating the change to your

808
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: fiance's family. I hope the hassle is worth having my

809
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: and your little niece or nephew's presence. I explained that

810
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 2: I had already ordered and put the money down on

811
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: multiple things, as well as having my fancy's family planning

812
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 2: and accommodating around this date.

813
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 1: For seven months.

814
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: She was not receptive in my opinion, and said, there

815
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 2: are really no excuses. You have the power to move

816
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: the date, even just a little later in the summer

817
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 2: to include me, and you're choosing not to.

818
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: That hurts.

819
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: I ended up responding that I am not choosing to

820
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 2: have her at my wedding, but understand she may not

821
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: be able to come and we'll have FaceTime in instead.

822
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: I also explained that I already moved my wedding date

823
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: once to accommodate her. I asked her to try and

824
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 2: put herself in my shoes and how she would have

825
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: felt if I asked her to push back the wedding.

826
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: She replied, I would have moved the date in the heartbeat.

827
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: That's the difference between us now. At that point, I

828
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,720
Speaker 2: decided to offer a pushing it back to the twenty

829
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: sixth of June, as some comments suggested, to see if

830
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 2: she would still be going to her previously planned vacation.

831
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 2: Ah Angie's points, God, I would love to know, right.

832
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,240
Speaker 2: Thank god I did, because she told me she couldn't

833
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 2: do the twenty sixth as she was still going to

834
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: her vacation twenty days after my wedding you know how

835
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 2: much can change in twenty days, Angie, What so twenty

836
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 2: days before I can't go to your wedding?

837
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: That's me. I'm to the world.

838
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: Exactly after twenty days. I am Usain Bolt, I am

839
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 2: Michael Phelps. I am literally doing any triathlon Eutherne.

840
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 5: Right, Oh yeah, I'm going on the longest plate rides.

841
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

842
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 10: But guess what though, if you wanted to move your

843
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 10: date back, you have to move it back.

844
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 3: Four months instead of or what is it three months?

845
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 4: What's the difference between jud and September?

846
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: Something like that.

847
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 8: I'll be going on five vacations between then, but I

848
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 8: can't go to a wedding because I just had a baby.

849
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: I am not the most knowledgeable about babies since I

850
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 2: don't have one and have only known my best friend's baby.

851
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,479
Speaker 2: But I don't feel like there's a huge difference between

852
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 2: traveling with a one month old and traveling with a.

853
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: One and a half month old.

854
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: So that's a lid of in my mind that she

855
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 2: doesn't care about me, my fiance, or our feelings, but

856
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 2: still expects everyone else to accommodate her. At this point,

857
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 2: as per my fiance's advice, I'm putting it in the

858
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 2: effet drawer in my head, and I am not going

859
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: to stress about it anymore because everyone knows.

860
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 1: The date is set.

861
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: If my family would like to show up to my wedding,

862
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 2: that would be amazing, but if not, I'm not going

863
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 2: to be upset. At the end of the day. This

864
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: will just show me who to prioritize the family in

865
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 2: my life, because family is not always blood. Update number

866
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 2: two ten days later, everything was as calm and relaxed

867
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: as could be. My sister hasn't talked to me since

868
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: the conversation, but I figured she was just pissed off

869
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 2: at me and dealing with everything involved with the pregnancy.

870
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 2: But getting to the hilarious part of this update, two

871
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 2: days ago, we get a FaceTime call from my fiance's

872
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:52,720
Speaker 2: sister in law showing us two positive pregnancy tests. She's

873
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 2: due the first week of June, aka when our wedding is.

874
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 2: My fiance and I did all of the congratulations and excitement,

875
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, because once again, first grandchild and

876
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 2: baby in the family. After the call, my fiance and

877
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 2: I just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

878
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 2: His sister in law is having the first grand baby

879
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 2: on his side, all within the month before or during our.

880
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: Wedding, Like, what are the chances?

881
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: My fiance and I have always had bad luck with

882
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 2: planning things, which is why we were planning a relaxed,

883
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 2: chill wedding instead of a big, extravagant one. We had

884
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 2: a few minutes conversation and it ended with us agreeing,

885
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: in my fiance's words, e Fitt, that's just elope. So

886
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 2: that's exactly what we're doing. Like I said, we aren't traditional,

887
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 2: and honestly, we were just doing all of this for

888
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 2: our family so they could feel included and have a

889
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 2: fun time at the lake house. But with all the

890
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: babies and nine out of the fourteen people invited not

891
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 2: being able to attend, my sister and brother in law,

892
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 2: her mother in law and her brother in law, my

893
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: fiance's mom, dad and little sister and his brother and

894
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 2: our sesster in law, why even have the whole anything.

895
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 2: So we're going to the courthouse on June twenty sixth,

896
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: the day I originally wanted but wouldn't work with my

897
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 2: sister's scheduled vacation to get married.

898
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: We're going to keep.

899
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 2: The photographer that we have a deposit down on and

900
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 2: just switch from wedding photos to a couple shoots. We

901
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: are also still planning on going to the lake House

902
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 2: and just taking it as a pre honeymoon. Ooh, we've

903
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 2: already let all of our family know the wedding thing

904
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 2: is canceled. My side is relieved and his side is

905
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: sad because they don't have an opportunity to celebrate us

906
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 2: as a couple. But it just wasn't what the universe wanted,

907
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 2: and we'll plan something in the next couple of years

908
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 2: to get all of our families together and celebrate maybe

909
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: one of our anniversaries. Honestly, I can't even be upset

910
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 2: because it's so comical that one major event we've been

911
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 2: planning doesn't work because everyone's getting pregnant and being due

912
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 2: around or during our wedding. But at the end of

913
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: the day, we're getting married and getting some adorable little

914
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 2: nieces and nephews. This will be the last update because

915
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 2: no more wedding means no more drama. But guess what,

916
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 2: Angie what Ope, He's right, there is no other update.

917
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 4: Well, so no more drama.

918
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 2: Dude, I didn't make my teen sister my maid of honor.

919
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,439
Speaker 2: Then she got revenge years later.

920
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 10: Dude, this is not the villain arc I was expecting.

921
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 2: I had my sister twenty three female in my wedding

922
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: party back in twenty seventeen.

923
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 1: When my husband and I.

924
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: Were getting things in order for choosing people to have

925
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 2: in our bridal party. I contacted my sister sixteen at

926
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 2: the time about being part of it as we are

927
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:24,320
Speaker 2: very close.

928
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: By the way. This comes from doctor who Lover and

929
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: if you.

930
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 2: Want to submit your own stories, go to the r

931
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subreddits. I'm John, I'm Riley, I'm Carley,

932
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice. Goofly, but we

933
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do,

934
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do. In the comments,

935
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 2: I explained that I would like for her to be

936
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 2: a bridesmaid and not the maid of honor only due

937
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 2: to how young she was and not wanting to stress

938
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,439
Speaker 2: her in any way emotionally or financially. I made sure

939
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 2: that she was okay with this before contacting the others

940
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 2: I wanted to be in the bridal party. My maid

941
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 2: of honor planned a bachelorette party for me with a

942
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: nice dinner followed by an escape room and a private

943
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 2: room at a karaoke bar. She had already reserved the

944
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: room at the bar, and if she canceled, she would

945
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 2: not have gotten part of her money back. Another thing

946
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,760
Speaker 2: to understand is all of my bridesmaids except my sister,

947
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: were in the same location. My sister was two hours away.

948
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 2: After being told that plan, I called my sister and

949
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 2: explained it to her. I said that she could come

950
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,280
Speaker 2: up and stay in my spare room at my apartment,

951
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,439
Speaker 2: but would not be able to go to the bar

952
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: because of her age. I gave her the option of

953
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 2: either doing that or I would come down one weekend

954
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 2: and we would go on a girl's trip to wherever

955
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 2: on my dime. She chose the latter, saying she understood

956
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 2: and was okay with the arrangement. I had the bachelorette party.

957
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 1: And it was a blast.

958
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,879
Speaker 2: True to my word, I went down the next month

959
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 2: and my sister and I went out of town to

960
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 2: go shopping and spend the weekend together. Fast forward till

961
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 2: late last year when my sister got engaged to the

962
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 2: sweetest guy.

963
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,919
Speaker 1: I was ecstatic for them and proud of the woman.

964
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 1: My sister had become.

965
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 2: I got the invite to be part of the bridesmaid's party,

966
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 2: which I was honored by, but she did not have me.

967
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: Be the maid of honor.

968
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,720
Speaker 2: This honestly did not bother me, as she is entitled

969
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 2: to having whoever she wants in the party and the

970
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 2: role they play. About a month ago, I got some

971
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 2: pictures from my mom of my sister and her other bridesmaids.

972
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: She told me that I missed a great bachelorette party.

973
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 2: And that it was upsetting I couldn't come because of

974
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 2: work commitments.

975
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: I told her I had no idea what she was

976
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:18,240
Speaker 1: talking about.

977
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 2: I was informed that my sister had told our parents

978
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 2: that I declined to come to the bachelorette party because

979
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: I was traveling for works. I called my sister and

980
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,240
Speaker 2: asked why she didn't tell me about the bachelorette party

981
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 2: and lied to our parents.

982
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: She said that it was to put me in my

983
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 1: place for not changing.

984
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 2: My bachelorette party plans to be able to include her

985
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 2: and for not making her the maid of honor at

986
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 2: my wedding. So I thought that we had gotten past

987
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 2: this and that she had been okay with all the

988
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 2: choices and accommodations, but apparently she had been deeply hurt

989
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 2: about not being my maid of honor and being excluded from.

990
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,280
Speaker 1: The bachelorette party.

991
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: Soretta, am I the a hole for not having my

992
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 2: sister as my maid of honor and not having my

993
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 2: actual made of honor changed the bachelorette party plans so

994
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 2: she could attend the whole thing.

995
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: I understand it is in the past and it can't

996
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: be changed, but.

997
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 2: Now I feel incredibly guilty for not choosing her as

998
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 2: the maid of honor and changing the party plans at

999
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 2: that time, commenter says, not the ahole. Your sister sure

1000
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 2: can old the grudge. To be clear, she had the

1001
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 2: option of coming for dinner and the escape room, but

1002
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 2: instead opted for you to visit her. It was unrealistic

1003
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: of her to expect your whole bachelorette to center around

1004
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 2: a teenager. That's what I was saying earlier when I'm like, honestly,

1005
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 2: I think like it's okay if we do the thing.

1006
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: That's because this is for the bride at the end

1007
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: of the day. Yeah, I'm just saying, is that the bride.

1008
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 10: You're kind of in a way a liability to everyone.

1009
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 10: Having fun here because of your age and you live

1010
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 10: so far away.

1011
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I would sneak you in though. Yeah, sister,

1012
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 2: I'm surprised she doesn't get that now as an adult

1013
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 2: slash bride, she did have the option to come to

1014
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: the dinner and escape room, but chose the option I

1015
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 2: offered of coming to her and spending the weekend with

1016
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 2: her and giving her shopping spray. It was on my

1017
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 2: dime in the sense of I paid for the gas

1018
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 2: to get to where we went, and I paid for

1019
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 2: some of the activities that were not as expensive go karting,

1020
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 2: mini golf, et cetera, and then I paid for our dinner.

1021
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: Anything she wanted to buy when we were shopping was

1022
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 2: on her. It doesn't surprise me that she is held

1023
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 2: a grudge this long, as there are some friends she

1024
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 2: still doesn't talk to because of petty things that happened

1025
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 2: in middle or high school. She is the youngest in

1026
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 2: our family and has always been the princess things being

1027
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: changed to accommodate her schedule, so it is probably a

1028
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: mentality thing. She was always favored by our parents when

1029
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: setting up holidays, and I was expected to alter my

1030
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: work plans to be fair. I never argued about it,

1031
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 2: just did it to keep the peace. But that is

1032
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 2: probably where she got this ingrained mentality. I'm not trying

1033
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: to rag on her because whatever I wasn't included, that's

1034
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: on her and she will probably regret it one day.

1035
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 2: But I need to know if I was the a

1036
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 2: hole back then to understand if I should be apologizing.

1037
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: Now. We got some more commentars here.

1038
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 2: Anything you say to her, she is gonna make it

1039
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: about you creating drama on her big day.

1040
00:46:58,719 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 6: Oh yeah.

1041
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 2: I suggest you either just steer clear, let her have

1042
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 2: her day and accept she doesn't want your involvement, or

1043
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,760
Speaker 2: you can talk about the situation and have a third

1044
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:11,280
Speaker 2: neutral party mediating the situation. Or come to the wedding

1045
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: as a guest with a fabulous dress and have a

1046
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 2: fun time with your husband. I'm gonna give her a

1047
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 2: wedding gift of champagne and say congratulations.

1048
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,879
Speaker 1: You can have it now. Ope, he responds to that, loll.

1049
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 2: I love the ideas, but I'll probably go with the

1050
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 2: first option and just write it out. I'm a huge

1051
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 2: person who thinks that things work themselves out and your

1052
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 2: regrets will catch up to you. I'm not going to

1053
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 2: make a big deal out of her not including me

1054
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 2: in the party.

1055
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 1: Whatever.

1056
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 2: She just won't have memories of us together on that day.

1057
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 2: But I will probably address her issues with letting things go.

1058
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: This is a pattern for her behavior and something that

1059
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: almost ended my marriage before we worked through it with

1060
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 2: a lot of counseling. I don't want her relationship to

1061
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: break up because of an immature trait.

1062
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 1: Like this when she has grown in a lot of areas.

1063
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 2: OMG, not the ahole and WTF Unless you lied and

1064
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: she was upset in the past about both, then how

1065
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 2: in the heck would you have known she was upset?

1066
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 2: And let's say you are lying again, I am thinking

1067
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 2: you're not, and she was upset This was over eight

1068
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 2: years ago. Who in the heck has a loving relationship

1069
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,959
Speaker 2: with their sister and waits eight years or even six

1070
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 2: to seven to get them back. What a terrible and

1071
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 2: awful thing to do. You may be proud of the

1072
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 2: woman she has become, but I hope she has some

1073
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,359
Speaker 2: redeeming qualities because I don't see an adult. I see

1074
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 2: a braddy spoiled seven year old throwing a tantrum.

1075
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: With a wedding veil on.

1076
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: I won't lie she can be very brady at times

1077
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: and hold a grudge like no one I have ever seen.

1078
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 2: This is seen in the fact that her fiance wants

1079
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 2: to bury her. I don't want it to grade her character,

1080
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 2: as this post is not what that is about. I

1081
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 2: just needed confirmation if I was an a hole back then,

1082
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 2: and if I should apologize now, it wouldn't change the past.

1083
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: But if I was in the wrong, I want you

1084
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 2: to at least apologize for the part.

1085
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 1: That I played. Update clarifying points.

1086
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 2: Timeline party was a month ago, but pictures from her

1087
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 2: friend that does photography had just gotten back to my sister,

1088
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 2: who sent them to our mother a week later. I

1089
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: did not get my parents involved any further than they

1090
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: already were. They could address the issue of being lied

1091
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 2: to on their own. I did not drop out of

1092
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 2: the wedding party, as it would have put her in

1093
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 2: a bind.

1094
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 1: The wedding was this past weekend.

1095
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 2: Despite what she did, I did not see a reason

1096
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 2: to put her through that kind of stress and further

1097
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 2: exacerbate the problem.

1098
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: But onto the update fick names used.

1099
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: The weekend after posting the original post, I got lunch

1100
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 2: with my sister Emily and her fiance Cooper, my husband

1101
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 2: had work. I first asked what she remembered about the

1102
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 2: situation around my bachelorette party, because I thought that I

1103
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 2: might have forgot or misremembered something. Emily confirmed everything that

1104
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 2: I remembered and explained that she was agreeable to the

1105
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:47,839
Speaker 2: arrangements back then.

1106
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:49,839
Speaker 10: So oh my gosh.

1107
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: I asked why years later she felt she needed to

1108
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 2: get revenge when she had been okay with the agreements

1109
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 2: back then. Well, it turns out that Emily had never

1110
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 2: had a year's long.

1111
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 1: Grudge against me. It happened out of jealousy her maid

1112
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 1: of honor. Katie had her wedding last year where her

1113
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: maid of honor was her older sister, and later this year,

1114
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: Katie's sister was to be married with Katie as her

1115
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 1: maid of honor.

1116
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: Katie romanticized how it was so sweet that her and

1117
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: her sister could have a special connection by being each

1118
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 2: other's made of honor. Katie talked it up so much

1119
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 2: that it got to Emily and made her resent that

1120
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 2: we couldn't have the same thing because of what I

1121
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:32,359
Speaker 2: did years ago with not having her.

1122
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 1: Be the maid of honor.

1123
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,800
Speaker 2: She did not have me be made of honor because

1124
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: she had a strong connection with Katie fair enough, so

1125
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: I validated her feelings, but explained that just because she

1126
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 2: was jealous of something, she couldn't retroactively take back her

1127
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 2: agreement from the past if it was truly acceptable to

1128
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 2: her at the time. I told Emily that I would

1129
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,320
Speaker 2: not drop out of the wedding party, but in exchange,

1130
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: I requested we needed to see a family therapist, as

1131
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 2: I couldn't trust that there were not other situations in

1132
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 2: which she would act out like this and we needed

1133
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 2: to explore it together.

1134
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: What do we think about this?

1135
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 2: Like, Hey, I want to see a family counselor.

1136
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 4: I think now, if the sister's saying it's it's just jealousy,

1137
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 4: it could be good. But I feel like it might

1138
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 4: be resolved really quickly depending on how deep rooted this

1139
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 4: jealousy is.

1140
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 5: Though, Yeah, I don't know.

1141
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 10: I feel like like family counselor might be best for

1142
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 10: you know, Opie's sister and husband husband. I feel like

1143
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 10: they should probably go to therapy together instead of you.

1144
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 10: And I was like going to family therapy with me

1145
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 10: and Tate, Like we're not really that close, We're kind

1146
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 10: of different parts of life.

1147
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was like, how about.

1148
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 10: We just like play video games together, like once once

1149
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 10: a week for an hour.

1150
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 4: May thing to say.

1151
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 1: Well, like what about you when I don't know.

1152
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 4: My non existent sister?

1153
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 1: You know what you got child?

1154
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1155
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:50,439
Speaker 1: Oh wow?

1156
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:52,280
Speaker 5: In freaking Dakota.

1157
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 10: You can't even relate to anything.

1158
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 4: It's like, And yet we always get put on the

1159
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 4: crazy Siblings stories together to read upstairs, and I'm like,

1160
00:51:59,040 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 4: why are we.

1161
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 1: The one we have? No?

1162
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 4: No, we can give the disclaimer we are the only

1163
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 4: children here. Won't do our best.

1164
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think they need it.

1165
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 10: They're in different ports of life. I think just keeping

1166
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,399
Speaker 10: in contact or like trying to I don't know, maybe

1167
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 10: a mediator.

1168
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 1: Let's get into the finale of the story.

1169
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 2: So Cooper then requested Emily to either go to therapy

1170
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,320
Speaker 2: or do couples therapy because she had not only lied

1171
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 2: to him like the rest of our family, but he

1172
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: saw it as a red flag that she got so

1173
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 2: jealous of someone else's happiness to cause this much pain

1174
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 2: to her own sister. So there were a lot of

1175
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 2: tears on her parts and maybe mine, But I think

1176
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 2: we will get through this. Some of you pointed out

1177
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 2: that my actions maybe coddled her and to cut her out,

1178
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 2: but since this was the first time she did it

1179
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 2: to me, I wanted to give her a chance at redemption.

1180
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 2: We love that Emily and Cooper are off on their honeymoon.

1181
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 2: Emily and I have our first therapy session in three weeks,

1182
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 2: and she will be starting individual therapy.

1183
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: At the request of her husband. Well, okay, not the

1184
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: worst standing ever. Hey's Sam.

1185
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

1186
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 2: minutes of bads from our sponsors.

1187
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 4: I stopped sharing the bed with my boyfriend because of

1188
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 4: my instinct, and I was right.

1189
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 6: Always trust your instinct.

1190
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 4: I stopped sharing the same bed with my boyfriend. I

1191
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 4: am female, twenty eight and my boyfriend is thirty three male.

1192
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 4: These past three months, I've been with my boyfriend for

1193
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 4: five years, and this is the first time I just

1194
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 4: felt off about him. I don't know why, but I

1195
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 4: have this sense that I know he is not the

1196
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 4: same way as before. But I know for a fact

1197
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 4: that he is not cheating as well. By the way,

1198
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 4: this comes from Holly Banana and if you want us

1199
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,720
Speaker 4: to meet your own stories, go to the r slash

1200
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 4: Okay storytime stub Reddit. I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're

1201
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 4: here to give good advice. Goofily, but we don't have

1202
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what we would do.

1203
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 4: So let's know what you would do in the comments,

1204
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 4: and Opie says. Before we even got into a relationship,

1205
00:53:56,640 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 4: he gave me all access to his social media and emails.

1206
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 4: All of the access was given to me by his consent.

1207
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 4: I didn't force him, but we agreed before to share

1208
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 4: each other's socials. This was all his idea because his

1209
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 4: ex fiance cheated on him two days before their wedding.

1210
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:20,760
Speaker 4: Oh wow, so I understand, and it's fine by me. Well,

1211
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 4: I never really check his social messages or emails, but

1212
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,840
Speaker 4: three days ago I got curious and checked all of

1213
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 4: his emails and social messages. But I didn't find anything.

1214
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 4: It's clean. But he's been acting cold lately for the

1215
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 4: past three months. Sometimes he even turns his back on

1216
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 4: me if we go to sleep. No more cuddles and

1217
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:43,280
Speaker 4: no more kisses before bed. The fact that he stopped

1218
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 4: being sweet and caring even our spicy sleep is not

1219
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 4: that great anymore, and he doesn't want to with me

1220
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,839
Speaker 4: as often, unlike before when we did it three to

1221
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 4: four times a week because he's really so active. But

1222
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 4: these past three months, we only I do it once

1223
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 4: a week or sometimes once in ten days. It's very strange.

1224
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 4: So just to spice up our relationship, I tried.

1225
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 5: Wearing more.

1226
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 4: Schmecksy dresses around him, trying to look more presentable. I

1227
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 4: am cooking his favorite food. Sometimes I'm giving him massages

1228
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 4: after his work.

1229
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 6: Well.

1230
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 4: I do a bit of extra stuff for him. I

1231
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 4: even booked a dinner to go out with him and

1232
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 4: have a date, but he refused to go with me

1233
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 4: because he had some calls with his company overseas that

1234
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 4: didn't fit with the restaurant timing that I booked. I

1235
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 4: even asked him on the weekend to go out with

1236
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 4: me chill at the beach or watch a movie as

1237
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 4: we always did before, but still it doesn't work. I

1238
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 4: even asked him if he had a problem that he

1239
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 4: could talk to me about it, but he told me

1240
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 4: there's nothing. I was just trying to squeeze his guts.

1241
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 4: But I don't know what to do anymore. I miss

1242
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 4: him so much. I crave for his attention and affection.

1243
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,879
Speaker 4: I already talked to him, but he told me, there's

1244
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,800
Speaker 4: nothing wrong, that he loves me, that sometimes he's just tired.

1245
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 4: So I decided to sleep in the other room we

1246
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 4: have because it hurts me so much to sleep with

1247
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:16,280
Speaker 4: him on the same bed, thinking that he's changed totally

1248
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:19,320
Speaker 4: in his vibe. It's been two weeks now that I

1249
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 4: haven't really slept on the same bed. But he didn't

1250
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 4: say anything other than I should sleep in our room

1251
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 4: and stop being dramatic. I love him so much, but

1252
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 4: I don't really know what to do anymore. Any advice.

1253
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 4: We have some comments, but.

1254
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:39,360
Speaker 7: Well, here's the worst part, because you're trying, you're trying.

1255
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 7: Maybe it's like the too much like love bombing. Don't

1256
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 7: do love bombing.

1257
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 4: I don't even think it's love bombing.

1258
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,200
Speaker 7: But I mean to try and get his attention, and

1259
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 7: I always try and communicate first. But the worst trying.

1260
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 7: She's trying, that's the thing. And he's not giving anything.

1261
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 7: He's just like it's nothing.

1262
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:57,720
Speaker 1: I'm tired.

1263
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 7: But yeah, if it's been going for all, going on

1264
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 7: for like a couple, like a week or so, that's

1265
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 7: one thing. But if it's been going on for a

1266
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 7: period of time, which it seems like something's definitely up.

1267
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 4: Comments comment are one, he could be depressed if he's

1268
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 4: not ready to admit it. No amount of squeezing will

1269
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 4: get him to open up and admit he needs help.

1270
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 4: Maybe just let him know you are there when he's

1271
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 4: ready to talk. If it is depression, you moving out

1272
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 4: of the bedroom may not be helping. Maybe give him

1273
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 4: sleeping in the same bed again another chance. Comment two

1274
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 4: is he estranged from his parents and there's been contact?

1275
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 4: Is he drinking or using any substances? Three months ago

1276
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 4: was around July fourth? Anything happened around them that was odd?

1277
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 4: Any trips family get togethers OPI says, as far as

1278
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 4: I know, there's nothing about his parents. Everything's fine. No

1279
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 4: trips the past months. The last trip he made was

1280
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 4: in February. But everything's okay. He even brought some presents

1281
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 4: for me. Plus he gifted me a bracelet for anniversary

1282
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,720
Speaker 4: and same as well. I gifted him a new watch

1283
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 4: as he's a watch collector. Other than that, nothing serious

1284
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 4: has happened. I don't pester him. I'm just a chill girl.

1285
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 4: I don't pressure him for anything. I served him well

1286
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 4: and good. Comment three says, maybe just maybe before you

1287
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 4: go snooping around on his phone and crap. Ask him

1288
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,920
Speaker 4: what he is feeling. Maybe he's working through some crap.

1289
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 4: Maybe it has nothing to do with you. He sounds

1290
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 4: like a closed off a hole. Force him to open

1291
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 4: up to you. She has tried that commenter a lot, yeah,

1292
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 4: comment for so you punish him because you're insecure. He

1293
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 4: has told you a thousand different ways he still loves you.

1294
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 4: What do you think happens in a marriage or long

1295
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: term same thing or long term same thing that happens

1296
00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 4: to your car? Ups and downs? My friend, it is

1297
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 4: how it goes. Nothing is the same. We grow, we develop,

1298
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 4: things happen, et cetera. You sleep in another room, now

1299
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 4: him telling you he loves you, and then you punish

1300
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 4: him by going to another room. What do you think

1301
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 4: he should take from that message? I'm not hiding anything

1302
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 4: from you. I still love you, but you don't believe

1303
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 4: me and you decide to punish me. Are you so

1304
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 4: insecure in your own relationship and wants and needs that

1305
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 4: if you don't get it, you punish him. What do

1306
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 4: you want now? You did all of this and now

1307
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 4: you want things to go back to? What exactly? Grow up?

1308
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 4: This is a normal relationship. Ups and downs, learn to

1309
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 4: control your emotions and feelings. Nowhere in your description did

1310
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 4: you say you actually told him how you are feeling. Instead,

1311
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 4: you come up with all kinds of indirect ways like

1312
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 4: dressing up or date nights, without actually discussing the actual

1313
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 4: problem that you feel. You want more affection, Okay, so

1314
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 4: tell him that when he asks how I thought we did,

1315
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 4: you should have some things to say or do to

1316
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 4: achieve that. Talk to him practically. I am feeling I

1317
00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 4: need more affection from you, and we are going to

1318
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 4: do that. Bye. I want more spicy sleep. I want

1319
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 4: to hold your hand in public. I want to show

1320
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 4: you off and be proud of having you in my

1321
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 4: life and dating you. Not sure if there's too many

1322
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 4: men that will say no to you. But instead you

1323
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 4: look to manipulate grow up and be in an adult

1324
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 4: relationship and discuss these things with your partner. That one

1325
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 4: should be downvoted.

1326
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 6: It's aggressive. It's very aggressive.

1327
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 4: Like I don't think, oh, he's manipulating him in any way.

1328
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 7: No, but I think again, what I was saying, like

1329
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 7: the love bombing of like it, it's not really love bomby.

1330
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 4: I don't think that dressing up to go on a

1331
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 4: date planning a nice date with your partners love bombing.

1332
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 4: She did it once.

1333
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 6: Men are so dumb, we like we need to be

1334
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 6: told straight up. It's not like.

1335
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 4: The men get one pass on that you can tell.

1336
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 4: You can tell them at once and then they can't

1337
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 4: be dumb anymore.

1338
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly.

1339
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 7: It's like, tell it to me straight like, because I

1340
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 7: don't think we did get that from the story from

1341
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 7: op where it's like I'm feeling this way because you're

1342
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 7: like you're making me feel like I'm unwanted kind of thing.

1343
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 7: Is just like hey, like, what's bothering you? Kind of thing, like, hey, hey, hubby,

1344
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 7: what's bothering me? He's like, that's nothing.

1345
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 4: I thought they had talked about it.

1346
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:15,479
Speaker 7: I don't think we got that from Ope saying explicitly that, hey,

1347
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 7: I feel like you don't want me.

1348
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 6: I feel unwanted. What's going on between us?

1349
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 7: Like I know you love me and you say you

1350
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 7: love me, but I don't feel that you love me

1351
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 7: kind of thing.

1352
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 4: Opie replies, I am not punishing him, as I've mentioned,

1353
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 4: it breaks me sleeping beside him that he doesn't even

1354
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 4: care to talk and open up to me. I did

1355
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 4: try to talk to him but he shuts me down.

1356
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 4: I am not insecure. Maybe you should get a relationship

1357
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 4: to judge it. Three months of being distant and cold

1358
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 4: is not normal. Plus in addition to that, it's not

1359
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 4: very comfortable living with someone that doesn't even care about you,

1360
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 4: that every day is silence and distant conversation. We have

1361
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 4: an update. So now here's what happened. He texted him

1362
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 4: yesterday asking what time he would come home because I

1363
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 4: needed to talk with him. He replied to me that

1364
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 4: he would come at night over dinner because he was

1365
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 4: still busy and he wanted to talk to me as well.

1366
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,840
Speaker 4: I prepared and cooked dinner for us and waited for him.

1367
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,240
Speaker 4: Just quick information. Me and my ex boyfriend have our

1368
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 4: own businesses. He owns his company and I own my

1369
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 4: own business as well. I am a traditional woman and

1370
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 4: I have three degrees that I finished. Now I am

1371
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 4: studying law as well. My ex boyfriend is a smart

1372
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 4: man with high degrees, so literally I am not lacking

1373
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 4: in anything. And we spoiled each other. So he arrived

1374
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 4: at home and we were having dinner. I was checking

1375
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 4: up on him, asking how his day was, if he

1376
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 4: was having stress at work. I wanted to make the

1377
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 4: mood light before I spoke to him, So, yeah, everything

1378
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 4: was all right. But then he started talking. He said,

1379
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you, but I

1380
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 4: don't know how to start. I really love you a lot,

1381
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 4: more than what you could imagine, but I eft up,

1382
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 4: and I don't know how to tell you. I am

1383
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 4: in love with Sophia. I know this sounds crazy, but

1384
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:09,959
Speaker 4: hear me out.

1385
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 6: Mmmm, there's the reason.

1386
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 4: I was there, frozen in shock. I didn't know how

1387
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 4: to react, so I just calmly listened and let him

1388
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 4: continue talking. And he confessed everything. He showed me Sophia's

1389
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 4: photo and yeah, I admit she's hotter and more attractive

1390
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 4: than me. But I know myself, he said. I met

1391
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 4: her at a business meeting, and yes, this has been

1392
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 4: happening since January, when I went back for a vacation.

1393
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 4: When I came back, I went to stay at her

1394
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 4: place for two days before I came home. I really

1395
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 4: love you a lot. I know. I kept the messages

1396
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 4: between us. I efed up. I cannot see myself without you.

1397
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 4: If we could fix what we have, I am willing

1398
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 4: to do it. We got a little bit left.

1399
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 7: If you love two people at the same time. Choose

1400
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 7: a second, because if you really loved the first one,

1401
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 7: you fallen for the second.

1402
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 10: Yeah.

1403
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 4: No, he's cheating on you and you should dump him.

1404
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean again, we found the bottom of it,

1405
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 7: and yeah, crapy.

1406
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 4: Way we figured it was something like that.

1407
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 6: That's insane.

1408
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,640
Speaker 7: Sorry, I had to wait three months to tell you

1409
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 7: that I was talking to somebody else and I love

1410
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:23,760
Speaker 7: them too, and I love you a lot, but I

1411
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 7: love Sophia too.

1412
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 6: Hmm. Not a good look and also very selfish of you.

1413
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 4: Ikey icky gross, don't like that. Nope, he was crying

1414
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,520
Speaker 4: a lot, but I was in shock. I just asked

1415
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 4: him questions if he liked her that much, and what's

1416
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 4: wrong with me? If I did something wrong? But he

1417
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,320
Speaker 4: told me there's nothing wrong with me. I never argued,

1418
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 4: I never lashed out, and I calmly told him that

1419
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 4: he didn't need to choose between me and Sophia. I

1420
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 4: told him to choose her because if he loved me,

1421
01:04:56,600 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 4: he wouldn't do this, that he can freely now continue

1422
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 4: with her. I told him that he can pack his stuff,

1423
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:05,360
Speaker 4: that there's no need to rush if he can't do

1424
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 4: it immediately. He was pleading sorry for what he'd done

1425
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 4: to us. This matter is really heartbreaking, to the point

1426
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 4: that I can't even cry. I'm in shock. It feels

1427
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 4: like I'm numb. Sometimes being good enough isn't really working.

1428
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 4: That's the end of that story.

1429
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 6: Dang, op.

1430
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,600
Speaker 7: I mean you knew something was up and sucks that

1431
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 7: he was cheating on you.

1432
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 4: He's awful. Yeah, I'm glad you know you're worth and

1433
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 4: to get out of there, and don't take it to

1434
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:42,600
Speaker 4: think that you're not enough or that you did something wrong.

1435
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 4: This is all him. Yeah, you all him, and him

1436
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 4: being a little baby about not talking about it proves

1437
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 4: even more how much it was all him.

1438
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1439
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 7: But if you know something's up with your partner, obviously

1440
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 7: let them know that you're there for them.

1441
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,600
Speaker 6: This guy sucks, he's a cheater.

1442
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 7: But there's a lot of couples out there where it's

1443
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 7: like someone gets closed off or something's bothering them.

1444
01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:08,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, you should know your partner, you know you could.

1445
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,760
Speaker 4: I feel like you'll know the difference in a lot

1446
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,360
Speaker 4: of cases if they if he is just going through something,

1447
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:16,160
Speaker 4: he'll let you know, like hey, yeah, Like I'm not

1448
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 4: even really sure what's wrong. I just feel like I'm

1449
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 4: going through something right now, but thank you for being

1450
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,880
Speaker 4: there and stuff bingo. Yeah, not just cutting you off,

1451
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 4: not wanting to have a single conversation with you, and

1452
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,440
Speaker 4: pushing you away so you don't sleep in the same room.

1453
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, and vice versa, I hope not vice versa to

1454
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 7: people who are feeling like that and you know, they're

1455
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 7: listening to the story and they're like, you know, I'm

1456
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 7: depressed or I'm going through some things and I'm just

1457
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:40,280
Speaker 7: shutting everyone.

1458
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 6: Off around me. Let them know that, hey, I appreciate

1459
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 6: that you're there for me and all that