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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and click

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: See that. Buggle up and hold on tight. We got

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Speaker 2: it for you here. It is a Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Nephew's subject my husband is a thug and a prominent pastor. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for seven years. I'm

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Speaker 1: forty three and my husband is thirty eight. But he

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Speaker 1: acts like the world owes him something and always has

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Speaker 1: a chip on his shoulder.

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Speaker 3: He is argumented in and I want to be thug.

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Speaker 1: He grew up in a rough area and he had

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Speaker 1: to make it out of a hood on his own.

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Speaker 1: But he won't acknowledge that he's in a much better

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Speaker 1: place spiritually and financially now. He will preach a good

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Speaker 1: sermon on Sunday, but Monday through Saturday, he curses, drinks

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Speaker 1: and and he's a womanizing thug. He curses like a

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Speaker 1: sailor and he loves to brag about fighting and who's

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Speaker 1: behind he could whip if he had the chance.

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Speaker 3: He's cheated on me twice.

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Speaker 1: The second time it happened, I checked out of the marriage.

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Speaker 1: I would love to divorce him, but I can't because

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Speaker 1: he is my sole source of income. I got laid

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Speaker 1: off in April of last year, and I'm having a

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Speaker 1: hard time finding a full time job. He stands in

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Speaker 1: the pulpit on Sundays while I sit amongst the two

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Speaker 1: or more women he slept.

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Speaker 3: With at the church.

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Speaker 1: A few Sundays ago, a female church member approached me

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Speaker 1: and said my husband made inappropriate remarks to her.

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Speaker 3: I told her that she should tell her husband.

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Speaker 1: A couple of days later, my husband came home and

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Speaker 1: said he got into a verbal altercation with the lady's husband,

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Speaker 1: and I acted surprised.

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Speaker 3: My husband was flustered and embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking all of the men in the church need

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Speaker 1: to know what he's up to. The two church members

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Speaker 1: he slept with or married, and I think their husband

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Speaker 1: should know what my husband has been doing. Should I

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Speaker 1: start a war at the church or leave vengeance up

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Speaker 1: to the Lord, Well, I'll say no, definitely, don't start

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Speaker 1: a war at the church and the first lady. You know,

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Speaker 1: the Bible does say vengeance is mine. You know that

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Speaker 1: vengeance is mine saith the Lord, so you already know

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Speaker 1: the answer to that. The question is what are you

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Speaker 1: going to do? I mean, I'm trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: how you're still with him. He's a hypocrite. He's supposed

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Speaker 1: to be a changed man, and you know all of

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Speaker 1: that practice what he preaches every Sunday. And you know,

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Speaker 1: of course, I'm not saying that he should be perfect, because.

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Speaker 3: You know he's still a man, of course, but.

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Speaker 1: Nothing in the letter says that he's a man of

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Speaker 1: God except for that he goes Sunday and preaches and

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Speaker 1: preaches a good sermon. But after that money through Saturday,

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Speaker 1: you know he's all in this thug life or whatever

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Speaker 1: he's been trying to do. You say, he's a womanizing thug,

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Speaker 1: but then you're dependent upon him financially, so.

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Speaker 3: That makes it hard for you to leave. He's a cheater.

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Speaker 1: You've been humiliated every Sunday when you see these women's faces.

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Speaker 3: Your man is sexually.

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Speaker 1: Harassing women at the church, and just wrong. He's just

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Speaker 1: wrong on every level. I mean, you can't change him.

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Speaker 1: But I guess, you know, I guess you should be

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Speaker 1: planning your escape. I mean I say escape because you've

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Speaker 1: got to get away from him at least for a

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Speaker 1: little while.

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Speaker 3: You got to do something.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's not showing any signs of stopping, he's

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Speaker 1: not showing any signs of remorse or anything, and he's

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Speaker 1: being very disrespectful and self destructive, you know, really trying

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Speaker 1: not to. I do ask you this, Try not to

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Speaker 1: make any emotional decisions like telling the husbands. You know,

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Speaker 1: like you said at the end of the letter, let

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Speaker 1: God handle that. You just continue to look for a

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Speaker 1: job because you know something is going to give eventually.

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Speaker 1: See if you have any friends or family members you

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Speaker 1: can trust that maybe can help you. And in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: maybe you could suggest counseling. I doubt if he'll go,

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Speaker 1: maybe you can suggest that. But definitely you have to

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Speaker 1: change your situation pattern what you're doing, so to start

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Speaker 1: saving up if you can, you know, get a little

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Speaker 1: part time job or something you're looking for full time.

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Speaker 1: But you got to get out of there because this

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Speaker 1: is not healthy, especially for you.

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Speaker 3: Steve.

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Speaker 4: You know this letter right here, it starts off as

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Speaker 4: a major conflict, just the subject. My husband is a

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Speaker 4: thug and a prominent pastor.

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Speaker 2: What okay, let's just deal with it.

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Speaker 4: He's a pastor part because he's really not a thug.

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Speaker 4: He's really really not's nothing in this letter he does

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Speaker 4: is thuggish. I'm just but but he's supposed to be

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Speaker 4: a pastor, So let's get with the conflict right away.

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Speaker 4: He acts like the world all owes him. First of all,

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Speaker 4: you took forty three and he thirty eight. What did

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Speaker 4: he say to you to.

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Speaker 2: Get you in the first place?

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Speaker 4: I don't even understand this here, but that ain't what

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Speaker 4: the letter's about. But let me show you the conflict

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Speaker 4: of him being a prominent pastor. First thing, he acts

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Speaker 4: like the world owes him something. Here's another one. He

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Speaker 4: always has a chip on his shoulder. Here's another one,

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Speaker 4: he's argumented. And last but not least, he's a wanna

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Speaker 4: be thug. How the hell did he get to be

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Speaker 4: the pastor? I mean, just these four qualities right here?

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Speaker 4: How did he become a prominent pastor? He grew up

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Speaker 4: in the in the rough air, had to make it

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Speaker 4: out the hood on his own.

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Speaker 2: How many you know, how many of us got that

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Speaker 2: story three on this show, three on this show that

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Speaker 2: Damn everybody I know.

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Speaker 4: That's anything. Damn there got that story. Tell all us

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Speaker 4: on the show, got that story. So what is he

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Speaker 4: talking about? He don't acknowledge that he's in a much

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Speaker 4: better place spiritually.

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Speaker 2: What I can't tell you. I'm just let it just

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Speaker 2: too much. All right, here we go.

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Speaker 4: He will preach a good sermon on Sunday, boe Monday

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Speaker 4: through Saturday. He cusses, he drinks, and he's a womanizing thug. Okay,

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Speaker 4: now let's let's let's go back. He's your husband and

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Speaker 4: you're putting up with the cussing, the drinking, and the womanizing.

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Speaker 4: He cusses like a sailor, loves a brag about fighting.

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Speaker 2: Hold on and who's behind? He could whoop if he

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Speaker 2: had a chance.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of Steve's response coming twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, subject my husband is a thug

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Speaker 1: and a prominent pastor.

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 3: hard morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 3: today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject my husband is a thug and a prominent pastor.

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Speaker 4: All right, the prominent pastor has these following qualities. The world.

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Speaker 4: Oh he acts like the world. Owe in something. He

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Speaker 4: always got a chip on his shoulder. He's argumented, and

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Speaker 4: he's a wanna be thug. You're married to him. He

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Speaker 4: worked his way out the hood, but he won't acknowledge

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Speaker 4: that he's in a better place because he wants to

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Speaker 4: hold up this little thug.

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Speaker 2: Mentality for some dumb ass reason.

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Speaker 4: He'll preach a good sermon on Sunday, but Monday through

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Speaker 4: Saturday he cusses, drinks and he's a womanizing thug. So

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Speaker 4: he has a lot of women. And obviously you know

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Speaker 4: this cusses like a sailor. He loves a brag about

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Speaker 4: fighting and who's behind. He could whoop if he had

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Speaker 4: a chance. You always got the chance to jump on somebody.

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Speaker 4: If that opportunity is available. Twenty four seven, You just

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Speaker 4: going over there, start to fight, if that's what you

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Speaker 4: want to do. He just talking, He running his damn mom.

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Speaker 2: Hein's whooping.

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Speaker 4: Nobody asks, But this dude right here is worse than that. Now,

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Speaker 4: you said he's cheated on me twice. The second time

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Speaker 4: it happened, you checked out the marriage. Then you say,

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Speaker 4: I would love to divorce him, but I can't because

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Speaker 4: he's my sole source of income. Okay, now we have

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Speaker 4: to deal with this part for a second, so I

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Speaker 4: understand that. I mean, look, don't think I don't.

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Speaker 2: So I got it.

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Speaker 4: You You ain't got no means of taking care of

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Speaker 4: yourself and everything.

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Speaker 2: I get it. I'm not naive to that. But now

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Speaker 2: let's go with what.

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Speaker 4: You have to swallow to have this roof over your

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Speaker 4: head and a car to drive. He acts like the

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Speaker 4: world owe him something. He's argumented, got a chip on

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Speaker 4: his shoulder. He's sleeping with women at the church. You

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Speaker 4: know about it, and you got to deal with all

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Speaker 4: that if you want to keep having the key to

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Speaker 4: that house.

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Speaker 2: I just don't. Is it worth it? Is it worth it?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 4: I would love to divorce him, but I can't because

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Speaker 4: he's my sole source of inqu I got laid off

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Speaker 4: in April last year, having a hard time finding full

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Speaker 4: time job. He stands in the pool pitch on Sundays

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Speaker 4: while I sit amongst the two or more women he

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Speaker 4: slept with at church. Woo you you bad girl. You're

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Speaker 4: a bad girl.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 4: You use a bad girl, and you gotta swallow a lot. Look,

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Speaker 4: I don't know where your relatives at. I don't know

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Speaker 4: who you could move in with temporarily. I don't know

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Speaker 4: if you think you're walking away from something and leaving

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Speaker 4: it to somebody else. But you ain't got nothing though.

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Speaker 4: I mean, he's doggish, man, This dude is doggish.

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Speaker 2: But here the one that got it.

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Speaker 4: A few sundays ago, female churchmen approached me and said,

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Speaker 4: my husband made an inappropriate.

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Speaker 2: Remark to her. You told her you should tell her husband.

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Speaker 4: A couple days later, my husban came home, said he

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Speaker 4: got into a verbal altercation with the lady's husband and

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Speaker 4: acted surprised what happened to all that ass whooping he

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Speaker 4: was gonna do?

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Speaker 2: Remember that, Remember that.

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Speaker 4: You know, if you really wanted to whoop somebody ass,

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Speaker 4: this was the perfect opportunity. Dude up in your face

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Speaker 4: accusing you of something, you probably gonna act like you

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Speaker 4: didn't do.

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Speaker 2: So you're gonna act like you didn't say it.

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Speaker 4: You got to because you the pastor because you can't

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Speaker 4: admit it, because you know if you admit you did

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Speaker 4: what you said, you know this dude gonna light into you.

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Speaker 2: So your little husband is a little coward.

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Speaker 4: Now my husband was flustered and embarrassed once again? What

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Speaker 4: happened to this ass whooping he been wanting to do?

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Speaker 4: See the man approached you? Now you flustered in the back.

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Speaker 4: Where is all these ass whoopers?

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Speaker 2: A man? When you come home? Give me one? Come on,

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Speaker 2: Jack Johnson, show me something. All right?

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Speaker 4: I'm thinking of all the men in the church that

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Speaker 4: need to know what he's up to. The two church

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Speaker 4: members he slept with, a married and I think that

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Speaker 4: husband should know what my husband has been doing. Okay, now,

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Speaker 4: your husband has been talking about whooping a lot of

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Speaker 4: people's behind.

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Speaker 2: But if you go to these.

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Speaker 4: Women husband and tellingness heiger, he's sure gonna be involved

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Speaker 4: in asked what was there?

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Speaker 2: And he ain't gonna want neither one of them.

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Speaker 4: But they gonna do something to your husband, see you,

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Speaker 4: They gonna do something to him.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 4: So I agree with Shirley. I don't think you should

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Speaker 4: say it to them. I think the bigger problem for

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Speaker 4: you is what you gonna do. I think that's the

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Speaker 4: bigger problem. I think your situation you should start focusing

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Speaker 4: on you. You've already checked out the marriage. It ain't

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Speaker 4: much of a marriage. What you're willing to lose. You

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Speaker 4: don't have you don't have.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 4: He's disrespectful, he's misleading, he's overbearing, he's the bully pul pit.

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Speaker 4: He's abusive to you. He treats you any kind of way.

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Speaker 4: And if I were you, I would just find a

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Speaker 4: way to remove myself from that situation. All you've got

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Speaker 4: to do is gone bout your business. You ain't got

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Speaker 4: to do nothing. You can't stand in the pul pit

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Speaker 4: claim to be God's man and be doing what you want.

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Speaker 4: You might be getting away with it to them people,

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Speaker 4: but you ain't getting away from God. You walk away

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Speaker 4: from this, Go set yourself up, Go stay at the

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Speaker 4: relative's house. Get out of that situation. Because the London

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Speaker 4: Bridge is falling down.

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Speaker 1: Yep, all right, post your comments, Thank you Steve and

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast done demand. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show