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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Story Tom podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 2: But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 2: I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 3: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 2: I am excluding my sister with turettes from my wedding

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Speaker 2: ceremony because she might disrupt it.

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Speaker 1: Maybe just give her one of those like Hannibal elector masks.

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Speaker 3: Wow, you could, Samuel Tolb solve.

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Speaker 1: You can have your sister and you don't get interrupted.

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Speaker 1: There it is there you go or duct it.

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Speaker 3: God.

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Speaker 2: So, I twenty eight female, am getting married to my

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Speaker 2: fiance Max twenty five male this summer. My sister, who

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Speaker 2: I'll call Megan, thirty two female, has pretty serious turettes.

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Speaker 3: Certain physical movements and saying ha.

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Speaker 2: Ha like that are her most common tics, but there

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Speaker 2: are others as well.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a kooky it.

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Speaker 2: I'm eighty five seventy six and if you want to

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Speaker 2: send in your own stories, go to our sass Okay

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Speaker 2: storms time subredd it signed.

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Speaker 3: It in Now.

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Speaker 2: As long as I've been alive, I have never seen

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Speaker 2: Megan sit through a long ceremony or presentation without ticks,

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Speaker 2: not even her high school slash college graduation, as for

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Speaker 2: any siblings graduations, per haha is extremely loud, bordering on yelling,

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Speaker 2: and most of the time repetitive. I have involved and

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Speaker 2: invited Megan too every aspect of the wedding, the rehearsal,

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Speaker 2: dinner at the bachelorette party, the reception, except for the

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Speaker 2: actual ceremony. My fiance and I are writing our own

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Speaker 2: vows and I just want to hear him say them

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Speaker 2: without interruption. The ceremony is fairly long, and I seriously

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Speaker 2: doubt Megan's ability to go that long without taking She

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Speaker 2: has said that holding back ticks is like holding back

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Speaker 2: to sneeze, only a thousand times more difficult. The only

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Speaker 2: options I see for her going into the ceremony are

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Speaker 2: a letting the tics go on as normal and be

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Speaker 2: scrutinized by Max's side of the family who hasn't met

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Speaker 2: her yet, or be trying to suppress them the whole time.

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Speaker 3: Either way, it would be a miserable experience for her.

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Speaker 2: I've explained Megan's situation to guests who are unaware, but

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Speaker 2: in Max's family there are several young children and elderly

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Speaker 2: people that I.

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Speaker 3: Doubt will have tact about.

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Speaker 2: It was heartbroken when I told her that I don't

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Speaker 2: want her at the ceremony.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if my sister had heurettes, she's still

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Speaker 1: front row.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a front row. My wead. I don't even care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want my sister to And I realized that

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Speaker 1: not everyone has like that kind of relationship, but like,

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Speaker 1: come on, it's your sister.

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Speaker 2: I feel like he has as long as your sister

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Speaker 2: is in a toxic, crazy person like we've seen these

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Speaker 2: other stories.

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Speaker 1: It's like bring actual drop bear has a great comment.

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Speaker 1: Never understood why people want perfect over family. That's a bar.

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Speaker 1: That's a bar. Yeah, I'm curious what you guys think

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Speaker 1: right now? Is opda hole so far? But right now

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Speaker 1: I'm just getting a little little a whole vibes. But

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Speaker 1: let me know you think.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking to I explained my reasoning to

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Speaker 2: her about how the ceremony wouldn't be fun for it

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Speaker 2: either way, but she didn't want to hear it. She

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Speaker 2: admitted that she will likely tick when we're reading our vows,

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Speaker 2: but insisted that we can pause and carry on or

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Speaker 2: speak over it. I know this is selfish, but I

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Speaker 2: don't want Max to pause or speak over someone. I

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Speaker 2: want him to read his vows just as he wrote them.

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Speaker 2: Megan has accrused me of being mean, ablest and a bridezilla.

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Speaker 2: My dad is on my side, my mom is on Megan's,

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Speaker 2: and my other sister, twenty four female, agrees with me,

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Speaker 2: but thinks I should let her come anyways. Max supports

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Speaker 2: whenever I decide, but says he hopes this doesn't fracture

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Speaker 2: our sister's relationships.

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Speaker 3: So am I the A hole?

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Speaker 2: We haven't edit coming up, but Sam, to confirm your

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Speaker 2: stance from earlier, just put it in stone.

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Speaker 3: What do we think a hole or not? I mean

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Speaker 3: I think a little the a hole.

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Speaker 1: But I also think we're not thinking out of the

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Speaker 1: box yet, you know, mmm, like like.

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Speaker 2: I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid to ask what boxes

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Speaker 2: are going to be used?

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Speaker 3: All right? Riley?

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Speaker 1: Can you pull this up? Look up noise canceling talking speaker?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, think I've seen those. But also to add

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Speaker 2: to your point of OPI being the a hole. I

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Speaker 2: think op is the a hole because when she approached her,

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Speaker 2: it wasn't like let's find a solution.

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Speaker 3: Or like, hey, how would you feel? What would this feel?

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Speaker 2: She basically said, like this is going to be a

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Speaker 2: miserable experience for you, like kind of like she kind

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Speaker 2: of did the two of us, like, hey, just how

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Speaker 2: would you feel? Like just having that is a starting place?

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Speaker 2: Why can't we start? There was canceling what voice?

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Speaker 1: Canceling microphones and like like silencer a voice? No, I

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Speaker 1: like singing practice, Maybe silencer it's here.

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Speaker 3: I know exactly what you're talking. Go to images.

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Speaker 2: It looks very explicit. Yes, oh that sounds what I

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Speaker 2: was thinking of. There you go that dude, move it

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Speaker 2: over to the side. Riley, we can't. We can't quite

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Speaker 2: the chat, all right, Thank my goodness. No, all right,

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Speaker 2: you're telling me you want to put that on your

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Speaker 2: sister at your wedding. That is what you're telling me

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Speaker 2: right now, you have to put a muzzle on your

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Speaker 2: own sister. But first of all, it's not a muzzle.

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Speaker 2: It's a piece of technology. It's like wearing an Apple

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Speaker 2: product on your face. That is literally that is it's

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Speaker 2: a fashion statement.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly exactly, like it's like a mustache, a mustache.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that is not a mustache.

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Speaker 1: Like a mustache, you know, for women often can't grow mustaches.

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Speaker 1: And now we're giving women the opportunity to all right,

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Speaker 1: here we go, here we go, here we go, here

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Speaker 1: we go. Take a picture of your face, print it

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Speaker 1: on top of this. Bang a picture, dude, Like you

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Speaker 1: know those masks, those like mask where they have your

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Speaker 1: face on the mask. Look up, look at Riley, can

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Speaker 1: you pull up mask face mask with face on mask?

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Speaker 2: This is going from bad to worst. I'm slacking right,

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Speaker 2: I'm messaging Riley what I thought you were going to

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Speaker 2: say as.

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Speaker 3: The Yes, see we could do that, we could do that,

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Speaker 3: do that. It's it's it's literally only getting not that one,

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Speaker 3: not that one.

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Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no up up yeah right there see

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Speaker 1: literally your face on a mask.

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Speaker 3: This is crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like you you're not even wearing a mask.

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Speaker 1: And then everyone wins. Sister gets to go to the party,

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Speaker 1: Op gets to keep being an a hole and be like,

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Speaker 1: I want the perfect wedding.

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Speaker 2: I got you give that to Sophia Boom, you got it.

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Speaker 3: I you know what I think I thought that's what

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Speaker 3: you were about to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Wait all right, actually all right, wait wait wait wait

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Speaker 1: wait wait wait, that's kind of a great all right,

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Speaker 1: here we go, here we go. My mom gets pissed

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Speaker 1: at me when I on mm hmm all right, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, Sam, freakin' cut your mouth when you yell

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Speaker 1: you Yeah, that's me.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: I could if I was a compulsive yeller or something,

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Speaker 1: I get this thing and I just do my do

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Speaker 1: my yell into the thing.

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Speaker 3: If anything, because it could be like way more. This

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Speaker 3: is great. Possibly, this is great, that could actually work.

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Speaker 3: I think this is a good in between.

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Speaker 2: That one could maybe, but it has to be it

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Speaker 2: has to be her. It has to be her saying

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Speaker 2: that she would. But I feel like if she.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, yeah, get get it in like a like

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Speaker 1: a black tie event. You put your little mouth urinal

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Speaker 1: over it and get it in black dude, this is

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Speaker 1: a great I honestly think if I or here. I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying that we should make people with Tourett's yell

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Speaker 1: into a mouth urinal, but I am saying if I

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Speaker 1: was playing a game show where I had to be

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Speaker 1: quiet to win a million dollars, I'd like keep under

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Speaker 1: a certain decibel threshold, and I had a condition where

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Speaker 1: I would like yell every few minutes, I would buy

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Speaker 1: one of these so I could in the million dollars.

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Speaker 3: That's all I'm saying. That scenario works. That's all I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: It's an OPI, that's all. I'm used to it by now.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, that's a superposal because she's different.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like Opie. Like if my sister was

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Speaker 1: like had Tourette's I think one. Yeah, like you said,

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Speaker 1: I would be used to by now, and I would

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Speaker 1: want her at my wedding. So I don't get this

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Speaker 1: whole thing. What if it was like someone you didn't

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Speaker 1: even know.

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Speaker 3: If it was someone you wouldn't know, then someone.

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Speaker 2: Would probably politely unknowing be like, hey, would you mind

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Speaker 2: stepping outside, yeah, just for a minute, or using my

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Speaker 2: mouth journal dude, I don't know suggest this the mouth jurinal.

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Speaker 2: It's like, it's not it's absolutely the most elegant solution

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Speaker 2: on the table.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of the most elegant solution.

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Speaker 2: It's the most elegant solution on the table. Right now,

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Speaker 2: it looks crazy.

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Speaker 1: I want to Can we see a video of someone

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Speaker 1: using it, like, I want to see if it's actually

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Speaker 1: like good, Oh yeah, here we go, here we go.

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Speaker 3: Hopree sponsors. Oh man, look at that thing.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why it looks it looks sexual to me.

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Speaker 3: It looks very well.

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Speaker 4: It's like a mic.

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Speaker 3: Give the light drifted. Why are they putting water in there? Man?

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Speaker 3: This is I feel like this is they know what

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Speaker 3: they're doing.

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Speaker 1: I can't even here, I can't hear it speakers. I

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Speaker 1: got an ee speaker. That sounds pretty good, dude. What

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Speaker 1: if a kid cries, bam, put that thing on it? Dude,

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Speaker 1: if we had that for church crying babies, may you

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Speaker 1: handle those things out like that's honestly great? Put these

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Speaker 1: things on yours.

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Speaker 2: For airplanes, it's like for airplanes, dude, potentially could be

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Speaker 2: a game.

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Speaker 3: Is that not a great idea? Your baby?

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Speaker 1: Your kid is crying on an airplane?

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Speaker 3: Wham, it got to be.

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Speaker 2: Your kid though, still your kid, dude. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I want to put that thing on my child's face.

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Speaker 1: Bro, all right, I don't know if i'm ready for

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Speaker 1: You're in a crowded plane.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's like, oh yeah, sorry.

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Speaker 2: We are one paragraph in, but we do have an

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Speaker 2: edits so edit. The kids I'm mentioning went to Max's

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Speaker 2: cousin's wedding last year and we're very well behaved, even

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Speaker 2: though there's so ceremony was longer than they were planning

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Speaker 2: for ours to be. So that's why I'm fine with them.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if this helps, but I'm also autistic

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Speaker 2: and have severe struggles when my routines are interrupted or

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Speaker 2: when things don't happen how I plan them.

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Speaker 3: That is context.

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Speaker 2: I have often been accused of being a control freak.

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Speaker 2: To type a et cetera, et cetera sounds like it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: maybe this was just me letting my controlling personality get

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Speaker 2: in the way. We have another Edit number two deleted

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Speaker 2: the previous edit Edit two, which was expressing my concern

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Speaker 2: that my posts would be removed for talking about the

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Speaker 2: This is my first time using Reddit and I have

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Speaker 2: tried to post a different subs and I was told

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Speaker 2: even an allusion to that I would get the posting down,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't understand the difference. Now that I do,

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Speaker 2: I like to clarify the biggest issue isn't the verbal interruptions,

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Speaker 2: which would greatly upset me anyways, but potential harm from

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Speaker 2: Megan and other guests. There's a non zero chance she

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Speaker 2: could injure herself for others. This is actually the crux

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Speaker 2: of the issue. Yeah, I'm curious to understand.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean maybe if she has like physical tics

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Speaker 1: that are that are not just auditory. But I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I've never seen, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I's keeping on.

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Speaker 2: I could possibly potentially handle verbal interruptions, although they would

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Speaker 2: make me incredibly unhappy and uncomfortable. But I don't think

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Speaker 2: I can deal with stopping the wedding if someone had

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Speaker 2: been hurt. It usually only happens in high stressed situations

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Speaker 2: when she was younger. Crowds large groups of people have

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Speaker 2: been historically been a trigger for her, and the ceremony

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Speaker 2: would require her to stand in front of a huge

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Speaker 2: crowd pretty closely to the other bridesmaids. It happened only

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Speaker 2: a few times in the past year, and just really quick.

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Speaker 2: If she's bridesmaid or like sitting with them, why not

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Speaker 2: let her sit in a place where it's like, can

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Speaker 2: she sit in the back where she's surrounded by people?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, We're not what you want to put

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Speaker 1: your sister all the way at the back, John.

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Speaker 2: If that's what helps her, that's crazy. If that's what

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Speaker 2: helps HER's crazy. I'm trying to help. I'm going for solutions.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You're shut down my urinal mouth thing pretty quick, John.

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Speaker 1: I did sound like your solution oriented.

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Speaker 3: I did more solutions on the table.

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Speaker 2: It's happened only a few times in the past year,

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Speaker 2: which should make me feel confident. But I feel like

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Speaker 2: the anxiety has just been growing and growing, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know how to stop it, other than making sure

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Speaker 2: there is a zero percent chance it could happen. Even

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Speaker 2: though she said she could deal, she has a history

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Speaker 2: of either underestimating or minute how bad her ticks would be.

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Speaker 2: She said she could handle her stressors and manage them,

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Speaker 2: but whacked me in the face at a funeral a

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Speaker 2: couple of years ago. She says she can handle the wedding,

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Speaker 2: and I'm truly sorry if this is ablest, but I'm

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Speaker 2: simply don't believe or trust her anymore. She is either

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Speaker 2: not being truthful with me or herself about how bad

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Speaker 2: the tics can get. Sorry for all the adits, but

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Speaker 2: I did not mean to communicate that I was ashamed

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Speaker 2: of Megan or cared if Max's family didn't approve of her.

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Speaker 2: If that was true, I wouldn't have had her at

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Speaker 2: any of the parts of the wedding since those family

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Speaker 2: members will also be there. Based on her previous reactions

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Speaker 2: to similar situations, I assume the kids staring at her

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Speaker 2: upset her, not me. Stress is a tricker for her.

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Speaker 2: But people in the thread were right about how it

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Speaker 2: wasn't my place to assume and dictate how she would feel,

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Speaker 2: and I messed up on that part.

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Speaker 3: It's hard to balance reread.

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Speaker 2: The previous edit when Megan does have a history of

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Speaker 2: playing down slash underestimating how bad things could get, and

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Speaker 2: we do have a minor update coming up.

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Speaker 3: But again, I think.

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Speaker 2: That people or she is still assuming without just like

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Speaker 2: sitting down and action.

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Speaker 3: Shit.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I think OPI should assess what the sister,

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Speaker 1: what would make the sister most comfortable. Yeah, it seems

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Speaker 1: like she just doesn't want the sister there, rather than

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Speaker 1: actually trying to find a solution for how the sister

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Speaker 1: could be there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all just like, here's what will happen. We

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Speaker 3: just need to not have her here.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, and I guess, like what Op's saying

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Speaker 1: is like, oh, like my sister underestimates the severity of

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Speaker 1: her texts.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think there are I think there are solutions that

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Speaker 1: like no one's thought of yet, you know, like possibly

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Speaker 1: like mouth.

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Speaker 4: Urinals, mouth urinal and a friend. I think if you

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Speaker 4: get a mouth urinal and friend, you're good.

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Speaker 3: There's some kind of buddy system. Yeah, yeah, because usually

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Speaker 3: buddy system.

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Speaker 4: Usually people that are like disruptive in weddings, we give

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Speaker 4: them a buddy, and that person takes care of them.

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Speaker 3: Oh like the shreks, the eye objects. Yeah, yeah, but

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Speaker 3: she's not even trying to eye object.

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Speaker 4: No, no, we just make we give her a buddy,

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Speaker 4: so she's not so she's not harming anyone, and she's

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Speaker 4: being like like relatively like quieter.

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Speaker 3: Someone to just for her, Like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one soccer coach that like doesn't know it's so

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Speaker 1: focus on the game that doesn't realize he's bumping into people.

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Speaker 1: So he has a guy that he pays full time

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Speaker 1: to just like move him out of the way.

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Speaker 3: The football coach.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the football coach, Yeah, is that true?

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Speaker 4: The Los Angeles Chargers, that's.

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Speaker 3: That's pull it up.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the story, it's an inspiration to us.

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Speaker 3: Now, so there's one.

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Speaker 1: Of those for Riley. Oh yeah, he's handling so far.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, truly, he's just running around knocking host. Now

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Speaker 2: there's a minor update. I called my dad to double check.

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Speaker 2: But there is a nursery room in the church where

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Speaker 2: people can watch what's happening in the church live on

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Speaker 2: a TV inside. I had a note about it because

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Speaker 2: it wasn't there when I was a kid. But it

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Speaker 2: will definitely be on my list of proposed compromises when

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Speaker 2: I speak with Meghan.

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Speaker 3: And now we have the real update. Shit hit me

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Speaker 3: with it, Daddy hit me with it.

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Speaker 2: So next update titled why didn't you suggest a compromise

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Speaker 2: such as skyping? Oh, he says, I genuinely did not

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Speaker 2: think of them. I struggle with rigid thinking and often

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Speaker 2: categorize things as an absolute yes or no without thinking

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Speaker 2: of any options in between. The suggestions for compromise have

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Speaker 2: been very helpful and I will bring them up to Megan.

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Speaker 2: How would you feel if you were disinvited because of

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Speaker 2: your autism? If the reasoning was a sound such as

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Speaker 2: they believe the environment would lead me to have a meltdown,

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Speaker 2: then I would understand what if your child has threats?

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Speaker 2: How would you feel if they were excluded? Since Turets,

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Speaker 2: as many of you have pointed out, is genetic, Max

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Speaker 2: and I have thoroughly discussed how we would raise them.

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Speaker 2: We will always demand reasonable accommodations from school and the workplace,

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Speaker 2: but we will not insist that they be involved in

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Speaker 2: every single activity that kids without threats can do. If

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Speaker 2: we had a child that was in a wheelchair, we

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Speaker 2: would not insist they'd be put on the track field

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Speaker 2: alongside able bodies kids to see if they can wheel

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Speaker 2: the four hundred meter faster than they could run. We

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Speaker 2: would find an organization that caters to children in wheelchairs,

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Speaker 2: specializes in helping them be active, and our hypothetical child

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Speaker 2: will understand that they can't participate in everything the other

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Speaker 2: kids can, but we will always provide alternatives and they

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Speaker 2: will never.

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Speaker 3: Be made to feel less than because of it. Another question,

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Speaker 3: why can't you just say your vows in private? I

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Speaker 3: don't want to. That's literally I feel pretty justified in.

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Speaker 2: All my other plans regarding Megan, but this is simply

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Speaker 2: a selfish desire, rooted in nothing but Max's and Me's feelings.

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Speaker 2: The thought of doing vows in private makes me unhappy.

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Speaker 2: The thought of doing it in front of everyone makes

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Speaker 2: me happy.

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Speaker 3: You can call me the a hole for that if

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Speaker 3: you wish.

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Speaker 2: And why doesn't your family consider it that our ticks

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Speaker 2: particularly distress you because of your own disability autism. It

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Speaker 2: has never been taken seriously by my family because it

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00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,360
Speaker 2: pales in comparison to Meghan. If one child is drowning

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Speaker 2: and the other child is barely treading water, you go

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Speaker 2: to the.

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Speaker 3: Drowning child first.

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Speaker 2: Why are you marrying it to Max's family if they

383
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Speaker 2: will be abless to Megan?

384
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Speaker 3: Hmm, they have never been abless to Megan.

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00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 2: When I say I worry about their behavior, I specifically

386
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Speaker 2: mean younger children and elderly people who aren't mentally there

387
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,440
Speaker 2: being able to stop themselves from staring at her. And then,

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Speaker 2: why do you care about what Max's family thinks?

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,880
Speaker 2: I don't know how else to communicate that. It's this

391
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 2: Max's family stares, et cetera. This ubsects Megan, This stresses

392
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 2: her and increases the likelihood of her ticking. She has

393
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Speaker 2: a violent tick and harms herself or others. There's also

394
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Speaker 2: a selfish option B where it causes a verbal tick

395
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Speaker 2: and the consequence of it is just me being upset.

396
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 2: We have another update coming up, but yeah, it feels

397
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Speaker 2: like I don't know that we're making any progress here

398
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 2: where she's not like she's like, oh, this will happen

399
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Speaker 2: and she'll get upset and then she'll have this tick.

400
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Speaker 3: I don't know, like at least ask yeah at the bear.

401
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 1: It could be, like, you know, it could be that

402
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 1: she's just not the best judge of what can happen,

403
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 1: you know how they're talking about yesterday. It's like you

404
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 1: don't go like when matchmakers try to make a match,

405
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 1: they don't go to the person they're trying to match

406
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,880
Speaker 1: and ask, like, who what kind of person you are?

407
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,640
Speaker 1: They go to like the family members and ask what

408
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 1: kind of person you are? Like often the people around

409
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 1: us are better judges of our character than we are.

410
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Speaker 3: Which is very true.

411
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,760
Speaker 2: But I'm just like wondering, like you don't have to

412
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,360
Speaker 2: ask and then like just get her perspective and then

413
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 2: you can kind of like move forward from there. Like

414
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,520
Speaker 2: I feel like, at a minimum, it will just help

415
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 2: you know where her head is at when you suggest a.

416
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 3: Propose or anything.

417
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 2: But we have updates number two left hit it some

418
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 2: additional context I think will help. All three girls have

419
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 2: moved out of the house. Max and I the fiance

420
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 2: I have an apartment in a big city that will

421
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,400
Speaker 2: remain unnamed niche city for privacy reasons. And my youngest sister,

422
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 2: twenty four female I'll call her Mia, is in law

423
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 2: school at a university that will also remained.

424
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 3: Unnamed Niche university.

425
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:15,160
Speaker 2: Go and you now, we're both in relatively drivable distances

426
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,200
Speaker 2: from our hometown where Meghan and our parents live. It's

427
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,080
Speaker 2: a small town where everyone knows everyone's type of deal.

428
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,919
Speaker 2: And Meghan attended to community college where she was already

429
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 2: known by the professors and student body.

430
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 3: While Meghan lives.

431
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 2: On her own, she's very reliant on our parents. She

432
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 2: has never even attempted to get a driver's license because

433
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,919
Speaker 2: of the possibility of a tick could cause her to swerve.

434
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,520
Speaker 3: Reasonable in my opinion. Again, just the language she's never

435
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 3: even attempted.

436
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 2: It's like, I mean, yeah, if I can't control, I

437
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 2: don't know if I would attempt that either, Just saying

438
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 2: let me know if I'm crazy.

439
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 3: Chat. So my mom drives her to and from work

440
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 3: every day. This is not me.

441
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,239
Speaker 2: Looking down on Meghan in any way for attending a

442
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 2: four year big name like Mia and I, or for

443
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: needing extra help from our parents, because she does need it.

444
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 2: This is to explain that Meghan and my parents, particularly

445
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 2: my mom, are very close. In my opinion, my mom

446
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 2: does things for Meghan, mostly interpersonal came conflicts that I

447
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 2: think she could handle on her own. Megan rarely communicates

448
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 2: directly as Me and I. Instead, our mom usually calls

449
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,640
Speaker 2: us and says, Megan wants or Megan definitely felt why.

450
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 2: Our fight about the wedding was one of the few

451
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 2: real discussions we've had without Mom mediating.

452
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 1: The way that I wasn't looking at the words. But

453
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,360
Speaker 1: when you said Megan wants X, it sounds us.

454
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 2: I mean, hey, Megan, Megan's got a party too. She's

455
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 2: going through some hard times at sister. Maybe we do

456
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 2: need to go out and just like let loose a

457
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:30,479
Speaker 2: little bit.

458
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Megan wants Let oh wait two meetings. I

459
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 1: know too, and I didn't even see your meetings. The s,

460
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 1: yeah s and the X.

461
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: The more the more it goes, the deeper, the deeper

462
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 2: the rabbit hole is. So Opie says the first person

463
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:45,880
Speaker 2: I actually.

464
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 3: Called was my mom and not Megan.

465
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 2: I told her that Megan and I are both grown

466
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 2: adults who are capable of handling ourselves. I said, I

467
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 2: will not take anything into consideration other than what comes

468
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 2: directly from Megan's mouth. Mom tells me Megan is upset,

469
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 2: I will disregard it. I got pretty frustrated when she

470
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 2: steamrolled over my request and threw in her face that

471
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 2: I'm the one paying for the wedding.

472
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 3: Not her dad, which I regretted.

473
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 2: I said, I'm willing to work something out with Megan,

474
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,959
Speaker 2: but if they refuse to communicate or try to disrupt

475
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 2: our conversation, all three of them will be disinvited. I

476
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 2: reminded her that Megan was an adult and hung up.

477
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: And we are about to read what Opie says to Megan,

478
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 2: but I wanted to check in if I'm I feel

479
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,719
Speaker 2: like Opie and the mom are kind of like two people,

480
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:27,639
Speaker 2: but the inverse, the mom is like assuming stuff to

481
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 2: kind of like protect her and get what she wants,

482
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,640
Speaker 2: and then OPI is like assuming stuff to kind.

483
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 3: Of just exclude, get exclude and.

484
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 2: Kind of just like maybe not intentionally exclude, but just

485
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 2: get get her way. Do we think, are we on

486
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 2: track there, chat, I'm curious what you think, but sorry,

487
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 2: he's getting me do the Yon cam is is a

488
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 2: brutal one.

489
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 3: It's a brutal one.

490
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,679
Speaker 4: I'm like doing it like a one out of ten

491
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 4: right now. I didn't mean to get that one because

492
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 4: I'm Yon and back here too. It could be I

493
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 4: don't know, selfish, but Opie does there with a lot

494
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 4: of things. It's a very stressful and the way that

495
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 4: she handles stress doesn't seem I don't know, seems like

496
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 4: this would be adding unnecessary stress in a way.

497
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 2: What Op wants to do. Like, yeah, I will say it.

498
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,400
Speaker 2: It is a very tricky situation.

499
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 3: Like I think this is a lot of easy I guess.

500
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 1: I feel like op would be used to this by

501
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 1: now and be like, hey, this is my sister, Like

502
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 1: that's my main thing. Yeah, It's just like maybe it's

503
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: continually bothered Op, and it's just gotten worse and worse

504
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: and worse. Yeah, and OP has always seen the parents

505
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,439
Speaker 1: be like, oh, we're gonna loop Megan into whatever without

506
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 1: concern for how potentially Megan's condition affects certain certain events,

507
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: and like Op is like just like fed up, I

508
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: don't know.

509
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 3: That's kind of what I'm saying. Let me know in

510
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 3: the comments.

511
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 2: If you disagree, but we're going to get back to

512
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 2: op to the text she sent, so I won't copy

513
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 2: and paste the exact text I sent Megan, but here's

514
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: the main points. It is not my intention to hurt you,

515
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry. Please let me explain. I want to talk,

516
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 2: not text. Things are too easily misconstrued. Your verbaltics have

517
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 2: never been a problem for me. I didn't mean to

518
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 2: make you feel ashamed of them. I don't I want

519
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 2: you to feel like we can't talk. The wedding ceremony

520
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 2: is a one time thing. I can explain if you

521
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: call me. Mom and Dad are not present in the

522
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 2: room when she calls me. I have already called mom

523
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 2: and told her to stay out of my business. I

524
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 2: want to talk to her alone, and breaking my trust

525
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 2: on this will have serious consequences. Goodness, gracious, whoa it

526
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,239
Speaker 2: feels unnecessary? Yeah, like, hey, if Mom or Dad ends

527
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 2: up being in the room.

528
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 3: And be serious, I don't know about that. Yeah, me either.

529
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 2: And I sent a list of two hour blocks the

530
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 2: next three days I'm available to have a conversation.

531
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 3: And last point I love you. I guess that's good.

532
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 2: She responded by picking one of the times tomorrow and

533
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 2: nothing more. But I'm hopeful we can work this out.

534
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 2: We have update number three where the big talk.

535
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 1: The big talk, know me about that big talk. Slap

536
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: me across the face with that big talk right now, John.

537
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,199
Speaker 3: Taking the mouth and all off and get into it.

538
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 2: Update number three. I called Megan this morning. I will

539
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: summarize our conversation excluding any verbal tics. It's very, very long,

540
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 2: and all names are fake for privacy reasons. I will

541
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: refer to myself as Michelle. I told Megan that I

542
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 2: was sorry I heard her feeling. Megan said it was

543
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 2: especially mean because I know how sensitive she is about

544
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,360
Speaker 2: and that their sore.

545
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 3: Spot for her. Again, we are now getting her feelings. WHOA,

546
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 3: I'm bamboozled.

547
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 2: I inform Meghan that I was not aware that weddings

548
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 2: were a particularly sensitive subject for her. Some context, Meghan

549
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: and I are at the age where pretty much everyone

550
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 2: is getting married, more so for Meghan because she lives

551
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: in our small hometown. Plenty of women and one man

552
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 2: she considers her close friends did not invite her to

553
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: their w oh wow and see if we had just

554
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: sat down and just said, just left our assumption at

555
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 2: the door and said, hey, just curious.

556
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 3: What do you feel about it? Yeah?

557
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: And then maybe on understanding this, we could offer solutions

558
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 1: that allow Megan to go to any wedding she darn

559
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 1: pleases with the urinal talker.

560
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 3: There it is there.

561
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 1: It is designed from acoustic foam panels. You can scream

562
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 1: and yell as much as you want any wedding and

563
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: no one will be the wiser.

564
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 2: That literally looks like, oh, she's standing in a crowd. Man,

565
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 2: the people knew what they were doing when they've designed

566
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 2: this one.

567
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 3: I do are her eyes closed?

568
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,199
Speaker 2: See That's what I'm saying. Oh, he goes honest say.

569
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: She works at a boutique and has even encountered friends

570
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 2: shopping for jewelry for the weddings she wasn't invited to.

571
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 3: But I didn't know that last part. Megan does not

572
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: believe me.

573
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 2: How can I not know how upsetting it is when

574
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 2: she and my mom have repeatedly mentioned the exclusion to

575
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 2: me every time that it happens. My answer, well, you

576
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: never told me that you didn't get invited and that

577
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 2: you were sad about it. You just told me you

578
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 2: weren't getting invited. Megan says it's pretty easy to figure out,

579
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 2: and thinks I'm being purposely obtuse, basically meaning I think

580
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 2: you're using your feigned ignorance to your advantage to have

581
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 2: me not be the wedding. I was supposed to pick

582
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 2: it up from the context clues, the fact that she

583
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: even said it per tone when she had said it,

584
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 2: how many times she had mentioned it, and apparently literally

585
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 2: everyone else had too.

586
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 3: Megan starts crying.

587
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I just wait until

588
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: she stops say here's a mouth hurdle.

589
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, I want I want you to finish the

590
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: rest of what you're saying, but could you like take

591
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: this next part through here?

592
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh so much better, it's what it's giving.

593
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 2: I remind Megan that I struggle interpreting things like that.

594
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 3: Again.

595
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: Opie is note NERD divergent. This line is from Max,

596
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 2: who I consulted, but he was not in the room.

597
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: I told her that just like she needs some accommodations

598
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: for her dreats, I need accommodations for my autism, and

599
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: she has to explain things to me, especially feelings related

600
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: to things, because I need that extra help.

601
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 3: We do have some more from Meghan, from Meghan, from

602
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 3: Meghan the.

603
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: Sister Meghan, Oh wait, wait, wait, get we get her

604
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: side where.

605
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 2: We're gonna hear a little a little bit from her. Boo, Meghan,

606
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,679
Speaker 2: you need someone to explain crying to you me. This

607
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: is the first time you've cried about it to me.

608
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: I obviously know what crying means. I'm not a complete

609
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 2: dumb boot. Meghan says, I didn't say you were a

610
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 2: complete dumb butt.

611
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: Me.

612
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 2: I didn't feel like I was implied. Meghan says, you

613
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 2: just told me how bad you are at understanding complications.

614
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 2: I can still guess. Well, your guess is wrong. I

615
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 2: can see to her, but repeat what I said about

616
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 2: needing some things explained to me. You said we didn't

617
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: need to do that anymore, only because Aunt Marine was

618
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 2: such a witch about it. Context.

619
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 3: When I was fifteen, my dad's sister came to live

620
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 3: with us and helped out around the time.

621
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 2: I verbally expressed my need for clear explanations, and she

622
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 2: was so annoying about it.

623
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: Also, Kimberly, fine, it's not because I'm not having a

624
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: good time. I love being here, but I am so

625
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 1: tired and I'm just assessing when I need my next

626
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: Go Go Juice. And I thought, if it's been only

627
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: thirty minutes and I'm already tired, I'm going to crash

628
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: without Go Go Juice. Y Kimberly, Fine, it's not because

629
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 1: I don't love you, It's because I need to get

630
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: Go Go Juice at some point soon.

631
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 2: In the veins Baby an example, she'd stop at a

632
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: red light and huff and then turn around in the

633
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: back seat and say slowly. That means I'm annoyed, like

634
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: I was a toddler or something. My parents and sister

635
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 2: attempted in good faith and told off my aunt when

636
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: she was being condescending in front of them, but they

637
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: never quite caught on to what explanations I did need

638
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 2: or didn't need. I just got tired of correcting them

639
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 2: and announced that I was fine after about six weeks

640
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: or so. Max is very good at explicitly stating his

641
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 2: feelings because his mom is a therapist. The whole family

642
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: is very communicative and verbalize their emotions.

643
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 3: That's good. I didn't know that you were upset about it, oh,

644
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: he says.

645
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: I realized Megan did not know for the same reasons

646
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 2: I didn't know Wedning's upset her I never told her.

647
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 2: Plus her tickes were about their height when this was

648
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: going on. And I absolutely don't blame her for not

649
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 2: being observant, especially as I don't have typical tales of

650
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 2: neurotypical people when they're upset.

651
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:06,719
Speaker 3: Ope, you had a hard time reading into it.

652
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 2: Now I explain to Megan my idea of the nursery

653
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 2: room and the live streaming it to her so she

654
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 2: can see it.

655
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 3: So we're now getting to the proposed solution. Live stream,

656
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: live stream, any live stream, Riley's on board. I'm on

657
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 3: board as long as it's the live stream. It's done

658
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:23,479
Speaker 3: in Riley's.

659
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 4: By the time I'm sixty, every single second of my

660
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 4: life will be live stream, and then I will then

661
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 4: go back into a time machine and replay parts of

662
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 4: my life, so it feels like I am in a

663
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 4: time machine.

664
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: And also, if you think about it, casket going down

665
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 2: infinite livestream after that, whoa does he move?

666
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 3: Does anything happen?

667
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: You just put on a finite live stream. I could

668
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: actually blow up. What like you say, watch my rotting corpse,

669
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: not the corpse.

670
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: Just like you got a beautiful casket right six feet

671
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 2: under under the dirt. You just got a camview of it.

672
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 2: You can see like the birds going on or the

673
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: little squirrels going on.

674
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 3: Is he gonna move?

675
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: I would honestly rather have a video like I'm like

676
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: just left on the surface of the ground and there's

677
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 1: a camera pointed and it just shows my body rotting

678
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: over time. I think that would be cool, like integrating

679
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 1: with the with the plants and animals.

680
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 3: I will say in a coyote f shure eye socket.

681
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 2: Oh what's brightley? What kind of live streams are you

682
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 2: thinking of right now?

683
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 3: All right? I was just that was from a movie.

684
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: What what movies are you watching?

685
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 4: It's from Uh it's like those skull Effort No no, no,

686
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 4: those people that die and it's like r I p

687
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 4: DP like.

688
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 3: L I double penetration.

689
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 4: No no, no no, it's like what are two dead cops

690
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 4: and they are ghosts and they're ghost cops and they

691
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 4: have to go around and like do ghost cop stuff.

692
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 3: Bones.

693
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 4: No, one's like a sheriff from like the cowboydys and

694
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 4: other ones, like a modern cop.

695
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: Oh walking dead?

696
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 3: No, r I P I love that picture. Yeah, r

697
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 3: I P p D.

698
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 4: It has Ryan riddles in it Aha, it's real. It

699
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 4: was from that movie and Ryan said it. I'm okay,

700
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 4: see look at chat, look at Chat?

701
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: Yes, all right?

702
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 4: Also, does anyone else have more tea about the Ryan

703
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 4: Reynolds Blake Lively lawsuit? Let me know, I sure don't, dude.

704
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 4: It's pretty crazy. You should dive deep into it. It's

705
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 4: like kind of like a Kendrick not as big as

706
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 4: Kindrick and Drake, but it is kind of like that vibe.

707
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 3: I haven't. I haven't really paid attention yet.

708
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: You've piqued my interest. I say, they're gin z I am,

709
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 2: and so is Op. Back to her story. So the

710
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 2: next accusation comes from Megan. So we've just proposed the

711
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: live streaming of the skype in the room, right, You're

712
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: ashamed of me, just like my friends are?

713
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 3: You think I'm embarrassing?

714
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: I say no, if I was ashamed, I wouldn't invite

715
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 2: her to anything at all. I tell her that I

716
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 2: didn't want her at the ceremony, specifically because one sudden

717
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: loud noises will really distress me, especially in a typical

718
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: setup where the bridesmaids are behind me and I can't

719
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: see them, so I won't even have a warning that

720
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 2: is coming.

721
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: She says fine in a tone that I'm able to

722
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 3: pick up on.

723
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: And I ask her if that's how she really feels,

724
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: because if it's not fine, she needs to tell me.

725
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: I haven't even brought up the possibility of her potentically

726
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 2: shmacking someone yet by accident, because that will make her

727
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 2: even more upset. After a significant pause, she says, no offense,

728
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 2: but it just feels like you're saying this to hide

729
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: that I'm ashamed of her.

730
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 3: That her friends make lots of excuses like that too.

731
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I say no, but I understand why it looks

732
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: that way, because I've always downplayed my own issues when

733
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 2: I'm with her family. Something else Max has coached me

734
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 2: on Slash suggested to me. I said that if she

735
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 2: thought I was lying, she could talk to Max's family

736
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: or any one of my friends who can verify my sensitivity.

737
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 3: Loud sound isn't recent.

738
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 2: She's fine in a way that I interpreted as being

739
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 2: more mollified. And then I said I'm worried about her

740
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: shmacking ticks where people.

741
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 3: Get smacking ticks.

742
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: So she seems more understanding but insists she can handle it.

743
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: I try to gentle my voice as much as possible,

744
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: but explain that anything above a zero percent chance is

745
00:29:56,120 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: unacceptable to meoo, and you know this may be where

746
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: like Op's neurodivergence clashes here where it's like again, she says,

747
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 2: she's been told she she having like a controlling nature

748
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 2: is as part of that for her for a nerd divergence.

749
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, I don't know that.

750
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: It doesn't excuse it's kind of just say like it

751
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: feels like opis saying like, sorry, I'm a douche, like

752
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: I'm autistic, Like I don't know if those things are

753
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: like the same, you know, Yeah, no, for I can't

754
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: you can't blame everything on that. And I think there's like,

755
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: you know, like you can say like, hey, this is

756
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: difficult for me to deal with because of this, and here,

757
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: let's find a solution. But I feel like OP is

758
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: kind of like saying like, no, it's because I'm like

759
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: this and we're not going to find a solution.

760
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, not anything above a zero percent chance is unacceptable

761
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: is crazy because that to me is like it's unacceptable.

762
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 3: To have you here. Yeah, Like it's pretty pretty tough.

763
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: She says, it's not that bad, but her tone of

764
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: voice and inflection is different.

765
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: I interpret from.

766
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 2: This that she might actually agree with me, but it's

767
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 2: not ready to admit it yet, or doesn't believe what

768
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 2: she's saying.

769
00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 3: Oh, man, op, we're doing a lot of we are

770
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 3: stretching over here, and this is not yoga. I remind

771
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: her that.

772
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 2: All of our family is historically bigger, and that she

773
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 2: works out a lot, which I admire her for.

774
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't know what that has to do with anything. Oh,

775
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: because I think it's because like her tics can be.

776
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 3: Oh, she's so strong. Yeah, she's so strong.

777
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: None of the family members really gets hurt when she

778
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 2: elbows because we're all around her SyES. But she has

779
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 2: to be reminded that she's a five to ten muscular woman. Again,

780
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 2: I don't know why we don't put her, have her

781
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: sit somewhere where she's out of the way. I reiterate

782
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: and bring up some of the bridesmaids as an example,

783
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: a direct quote. All of the others are last names.

784
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 2: Would be fine if Mary was five zero and one

785
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: fifteen soaken wet. If she elbowed, you would go the

786
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 2: f down, and I don't think you would get up.

787
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 2: She laughs a little uncomfortably. But I'm not joking. Dang this,

788
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: I'm picturing just a freaking Amazonian woman just like.

789
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 3: Just a yeah.

790
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: I mean like I understand, like there's it's like I

791
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: don't know, it's hard because it's like Op wants his

792
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: day that's her own, but is worried that the sister

793
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: is gonna like disrupt the day. And but I again,

794
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: like I really thing, I think there's better. There's ways

795
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: that you can integrate your sister for a condition that

796
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: she can't control.

797
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

798
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: So she feels included where I feel like this sister

799
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: feels so alone. It's like everyone, everyone in her life

800
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: is just like no, you can't come to this or

801
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: you can't be included to this. And it's like like,

802
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: I und shouldn't your family be one point one place

803
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: where you feel like loved and accepted. I can only

804
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: imagine how lonely that feels for like her. And yeah,

805
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: I know, I know people are like, oh, like Sam,

806
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: don't you know give Op a break because they're autistic,

807
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: and like you don't know what it's like to be autistic,

808
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: and that's for sure. But yeah, I took off my

809
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: contacts as they were hurting me. So I can't see

810
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: any of your comments now.

811
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't find boys.

812
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out my glasses in a sec. But yeah,

813
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is it's it feels really difficult.

814
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: But if it was me and it was my sister,

815
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: I would include her.

816
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, to further your point, if she it was sat

817
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: where there was no one around, there wouldn't be any

818
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: worry of her accidentally hitting somebody, and then she wouldn't

819
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 2: have to say all these crazy things like it's unacceptable

820
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 2: if you would do that. So it seems like, yeah,

821
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 2: we're not going to the solutions and talking about things

822
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 2: in a productive way.

823
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

824
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: And it's like again like I think, yes, like what

825
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: you said about your autism, you can get triggered by

826
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: these certain things, and for sure that is the case.

827
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: But I I think like, if you just say this,

828
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,479
Speaker 1: this is triggering towards me to me, so you're not

829
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: invited again, it's not a solution oriented thing. It's just

830
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: like all right, I'm not like, I'm not going to

831
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: look to include you. And so it just what it

832
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 1: feels like is it feels like OP is trying to

833
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: find reasons to exclude rather than trying to find reasons

834
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: to include and maybe just Op's not that close with

835
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: the sister or not, like you know, maybe maybe that's

836
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: the case. But yeah, I just if if I love

837
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: my sister as much as I do, I would find

838
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: it really hard to uh not include her.

839
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: Low key.

840
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: I think what could potentially solve this entire situation is

841
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: remember how she like, Oh, if you bring mom or

842
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 2: dad into this, then we'll, like, I'll kick all of

843
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: you guys out of the wedding, bring in Max and

844
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 2: maybe the mom and dad altogether, and they can find

845
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 2: a solution as a group.

846
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 3: I think that might actually do it. I think that's true.

847
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 3: Better than where we're at, Better than where we're.

848
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: At, Josephine Medolo Berquis says Sam. She's not an a

849
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: hole blaming things on her autism. Tourette's is something you

850
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: can't control, but certain things about autism you can't control either.

851
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 1: And they don't give an f about op struggles. No, Yeah,

852
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm saying. I think, like ops not

853
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: hearing each other. Yeah, that's what I'm not discounting Opie's autism.

854
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: I'm saying op is using their autism as a place

855
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 1: where it's like they're like putting this down, is like, hey,

856
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 1: I have autism, and I can't have you doing this

857
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: at the wedding. Thus you're uninvited at the wedding, instead

858
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: of saying, hey, I have autism, I can't have you

859
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: doing this at the wedding, so let's see what we

860
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: can do to make sure you feel included. And also

861
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm not triggered, right, So there's like a difference in

862
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 1: I think OP is OP is using their the things

863
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: they get triggered by to exclude rather than to find

864
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 1: a way to include. And I think that is the

865
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: subtle difference here.

866
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and those subtleties make it a lot of different

867
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 3: Sometimes what.

868
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: We have more sam here. We're gonna get back to

869
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three of its bads from our sponsors.

870
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 2: Ali says, it is one hundred percent emotional manipulation because

871
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: OPI might have been the test subject for something plus

872
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 2: a last family event she got hurt. Because OP might

873
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: have been the test subject for everything plus last family

874
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,720
Speaker 2: event she got hurt.

875
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 3: Oh, it is an.

876
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: Emotional manipulation by Megan. I might have misinterpreted that. Yeah, again,

877
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 2: there's there's so many sides and layers in gray area

878
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 2: in this one. This it seems that's what I'm That's

879
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 2: what I'm thinking. Let me know what you guys think.

880
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 2: And then Dakota's gamegam ooof the situation really sucks. I

881
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 2: don't think Ope is obligated to include her sister, especially

882
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 2: when she has her own well being to consider. Yeah,

883
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 2: it's it is very much a tough one. It is

884
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,760
Speaker 2: very much a tough one. Awkwardly, cost play Chick says,

885
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 2: Opie is Tristan the North. Yeah, that's also what I'm

886
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 2: feeling here. I think that this is she can say

887
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 2: her points without going so incredibly just far with it.

888
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: You know, we can say things honestly in a way

889
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 2: that is not as intense like I will cut you

890
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 2: off forever and you will never see my kids or

891
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: me or anyone of us ever again.

892
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 3: And joeybah I did take some mens today.

893
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 2: Your boy, your boy's going down, Your boy's going down,

894
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: And Helena Baine says it.

895
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 3: Cloes it out.

896
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 2: Put it this way, Megan be at the ceremony. Ceremony

897
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: would be like knowing you're a fair partner, knows that

898
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: the tema of the time and place of your wedding.

899
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 2: You are waiting for them to show up and burn

900
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 2: everything down. I don't know if that was sarcastic, but yeah, laws, yeah, yeah,

901
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 2: it's there's a lot going on here. But Opie says,

902
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: this is a lot of information for me to process,

903
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: so I just kind of pick out one piece and

904
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 2: blurt it out before I can process the whole rest.

905
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 2: Why don't you think you'll get married? Meghan responds, are

906
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: you delusional? Nobody would ever want to marry me.

907
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 3: Ah, she just wants love, Opie. She just wants love.

908
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 2: She wants love. I know this is really insensitive, but

909
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: I wasn't trying to be mean. It was just my

910
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: first reaction. I didn't think about it. I just said

911
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 2: it flatly. Megan, you're being really stupid. This seemed to

912
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: shock her into silence. I continued, you're very smart, you're

913
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 2: very pretty, and you work out and you're a good person.

914
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 2: There are lots of people out there that you haven't

915
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 2: met yet that could be a great match, maybe even

916
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 2: someone who has tourettes too. So writing yourself off preemptively

917
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,720
Speaker 2: and giving up is incredibly dumb.

918
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 3: Oh that's actually sweet.

919
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 2: This is the best extra now now we're getting into

920
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 2: This is what I've.

921
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 3: Been looking for. This is the juice see each other emotionally.

922
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 2: That is all I was waiting for, all I was

923
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 2: and I know Opie has a harder time with it,

924
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: you know, albeit, but I'm glad we're here now. So

925
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 2: she sighs and says that you don't get it. I say, yes,

926
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 2: I do that. I never thought anyone would understand me

927
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: until I met me more emotional connection. I tell her

928
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: that she's stayed in our hometown her whole life, and

929
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 2: there's a reason that I didn't marry anyone from our hometown.

930
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 2: I did something offscript, which surprised me, but I said,

931
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 2: I know she doesn't like big crowds, but she should

932
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 2: come to the city with me and Max or just me.

933
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 2: I said she should try and meet new people. She

934
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: seemed taken aback and almost horrified by the thought. So

935
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 2: I said something that was probably offensive. Sorry, there's an

936
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 2: eighty percent chance a homeless sweaker will be doing something

937
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 2: way more disruptive.

938
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 3: Than you at any given time.

939
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 2: She got really quiet and didn't say anything, so I

940
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: reiterated my points. I'm not ashamed of the ticks in

941
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 2: and of themselves. I'm worried about the potential harm they

942
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: could cause. The motor tics are self explanatory, and the

943
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,879
Speaker 2: vocal tics will distress me and make me uncomfortable. If

944
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 2: she wants to bet our entire relationship on her confidence

945
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 2: that she won't motor tick and hurt someone, she can

946
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: be my guest.

947
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 3: But I'm done. She starts begging me.

948
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 2: Why can't I get a bigger venue so the bridesmaids

949
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,479
Speaker 2: have more room and a place an aimate object near

950
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 2: in case she gets the elbowing tick? Or why did

951
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: I pick so many bridesmaids when I knew she would

952
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 2: be one and she.

953
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 3: Would be crowded.

954
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 2: Why can't I just say my vows in private? Why

955
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 2: can't I just ignore her when she ticks?

956
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 3: Why? Why? Why?

957
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: Finally, she said she felt like I didn't take her

958
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 2: needs into consideration and planned the wedding without thinking about

959
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: her at all.

960
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 3: I snapped, of course, I didn't think about you. It's

961
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 3: my effing wedding mine.

962
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: I've spent my entire life thinking of you and how

963
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 2: things might affect you and what you need instead of

964
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 2: what I do. I moved this far away so I

965
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 2: could stop thinking about you. Oh you got everything. You

966
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 2: got mom and Dad's attention, all the sympathy, all the

967
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 2: money went towards her treatments. I didn't get to see

968
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: a therapist, just drive you to and from your appointments.

969
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 2: When I was nine, you slammed a car door on

970
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 2: my hand because of your ticks and broke my finger.

971
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 2: Do you remember that Mom and Dad were more concerned

972
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 2: about me reassuring you that I didn't blame you than

973
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 2: my broken finger.

974
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 3: What just happened? What just happened?

975
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: Here?

976
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 2: It's getting crazy. Everything is about you and your feelings. Oh,

977
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 2: Megan is taking too much to pack her backpack.

978
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 3: You get at Michelle.

979
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: I know she threw a vase at your head during

980
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: a rage fit, but Michelle, imagine how bad she feels.

981
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 2: Megan's sitting alone at lunch again, be a good sister

982
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 2: and a and your friends to sit with her. And

983
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 2: now I can't even have my own wedding without making

984
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 2: about you.

985
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 3: F off.

986
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: Okay, really quick, yes, really quick. We've talked about this before.

987
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: When you have a golden child, whose fault is it

988
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: the parents? It's the parent's fault. Don't blame Megan for

989
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: what the parents did. I feel like that like OPI

990
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: is kind of blame and I see why OPI is mad. Yeah, right,

991
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: there's like a lot behind this. This is like a

992
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 1: whole childhood of Megan being prioritized. But I do it

993
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 1: feels like there's a little bit of like maybe somewhat

994
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: misplaced anger where it's like, because of how the parents

995
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 1: enabled the sister, op he is now mad at the sister.

996
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 1: And I guess like Megan is still representing some of

997
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 1: the like now carrying that herself into adulthood. But I

998
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: don't know if we want to fully blame Megan for

999
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: all that childhood stuff. Yeah, but I think also being

1000
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: like put your putting your foot down to and saying like, hey,

1001
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: like I do want to ensure that I'm thinking about

1002
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 1: my at my wedding and I can't just have everything

1003
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 1: about you.

1004
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 3: But yeah, what do you think? Yeah?

1005
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: No, I think I think the point of like I

1006
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 2: wanted one thing for my own is a very very

1007
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 2: real feeling that she very much deserved express and have

1008
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 2: you know, she's like, finally I have this thing that

1009
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 2: is mine, you know, and I get to do. And

1010
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 2: I do think while this has been an insane journey

1011
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 2: up into this point, I do think maybe this was

1012
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 2: like a like destiny's a silver line of destiny where

1013
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 2: they kind of needed.

1014
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 3: To have this conversation. Yeah, and this.

1015
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 2: Kind of like forced them into the room to talk

1016
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 2: about each other. And it's a very very bumpy road.

1017
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 2: But I feel like they're even if they don't understand

1018
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: each other, they're at least now we're going to be

1019
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 2: here and understand Yeah, everything that the other is thinking

1020
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 2: and feeling.

1021
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, And I think that is like amazing progress.

1022
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: And I'm looking at chat right now and I see

1023
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 1: like we're split. You know, there's people defending Megan. There's

1024
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: people defending Ope. There's people are like, hey, like, Megan

1025
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: is asking for Op's wedding, an event that should be

1026
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: about like Op and her love with her partner, to

1027
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: be about her, to be about Megan, and like that's

1028
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: not fair. And basically she's taking this golden child syndrome

1029
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: that that we're of always being prioritized in childhood into adulthood.

1030
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: And then I see, on the other hand, like people

1031
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: saying like, hey, like Megan really has never fully felt

1032
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 1: accepted by her friends, She's always been disinvited from weddings,

1033
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 1: She feels like always the black sheep. And yes, maybe

1034
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 1: her parents try to make her feel included, but she

1035
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 1: never felt fully accepted by her sister, and so like like,

1036
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: is there something that op can do to make her

1037
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: feel fully accepted? So to be clear, like this is complicated.

1038
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: There's two side that are that have like valid points

1039
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: on both. So, uh, don't worry, we see all of

1040
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: your your comments, but I do want I do want

1041
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 1: us to both under like I do want everyone to

1042
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 1: understand that like there are there are two distinct and

1043
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 1: difficult to manage desires here, Heley and Abane says, this

1044
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: is a rock meets a hard In this situation, the

1045
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: person who's wedding it is gets the win.

1046
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 2: Get Yeah, it's it's so complicated. It's a coincide and

1047
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: that you know that does make sense. That does make sense,

1048
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 2: you know. And I'm sure also many people would say,

1049
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 2: like if I was a sister and this was her wedding,

1050
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, maybe I'll give her what she wants

1051
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: for this wedding. There's so many different ways that you

1052
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 2: can look at it. But I'm hoping that they're able

1053
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 2: to see the emotional pain that each has felt. And

1054
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 2: have this kind of unite them in the end. Yeah,

1055
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: that's what I'm hoping is the direction we are heading towards.

1056
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: And I think when we start to establish nuance by

1057
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 1: having conversations like that, where it's not just I'm one

1058
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: hundred percent right or you're one hundred percent right, that's

1059
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: where connection can happen. And so, yeah, there is like

1060
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 1: like deride, Cassandra says, Megan is so stuck in the

1061
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: expectation of being prioritized she can't see her own sister struggles.

1062
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: That's true, yes, but again there's also a lot of

1063
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: truth on Megan's side too. So what we're I think

1064
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 1: we're trying to say is like there's not like actually

1065
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: a completely right answer here.

1066
00:43:58,280 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 3: It's just it's complicated.

1067
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: But when you have conversations like these, you kind of

1068
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: like unfold how complicated it is and actually maybe see

1069
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 1: enough nuance to accept each other.

1070
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 2: We've destroyed the room and it's messy, and now we're

1071
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: going to put it back back to where it was now.

1072
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: Megan was silent and then hung up. Something else that

1073
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,720
Speaker 2: was brought up in the comments that has now been resolved. Yes,

1074
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 2: Max has feelings about my family dynamic, but always allowed

1075
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: me to dictate it, both because he knows that I

1076
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 2: like control and because he doesn't have much experience with disabilities.

1077
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 3: What was that it's a green flag. Oh yeah, yeah,

1078
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 3: it's true both at the same time. You don't know

1079
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 3: which one it is.

1080
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 2: Ninety five percent of the things we offer feedback to

1081
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: the other that we think they need it, seek advice, discuss,

1082
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 2: et cetera. But for my family, he never really said

1083
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 2: anything except a variation of I support your decision. He

1084
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 2: said that he would like to have an input, especially

1085
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 2: as they will soon be his family as well and

1086
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 2: hopefully interacting with our future children. I can get annoyed

1087
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 2: because his mom's uses therapy speak pretty regularly and it's

1088
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 2: been passed on to both of her kids.

1089
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 3: Secretly, I think he thinks he's sort of.

1090
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 2: An honorary therapist. Don't know anyone who would think that

1091
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 2: of themselves. That would be freaking ridicul crazy.

1092
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: That would be crazy like therapists, but better because they're

1093
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 1: free and you could listen to them Monday, Wednesday, Friday,

1094
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: and Tuesday and Thursday twelve pm PST every weekday.

1095
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 4: I would never associate myself with anything like that.

1096
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 3: Never at all, that would be crazy.

1097
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: And because he was raised by a therapist and got

1098
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 2: treated by another earlier in our relationship, when I was

1099
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 2: accepting his advice for family matters, he would say things like,

1100
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 2: you seem to have an avoidant attachment style, probably from

1101
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 2: being ignored by your parents in childhood.

1102
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 3: He's going for ito, going for it. I need to

1103
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 3: sit back on that one. He's therapies and he's therapized.

1104
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's probably true, which is why he's

1105
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: trying to distance, and so I hope he's trying to

1106
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: be distance from our sister.

1107
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe we should listen to your therapists, not therapist fiance.

1108
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 3: Oh no, kind of good.

1109
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 2: I told him in no uncertain terms that I did

1110
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 2: not care to be psychoanalyzed, and that was that.

1111
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 3: We talked about it a lot. But the gist of

1112
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: it is that.

1113
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 2: He has had opinions on my family and struggles with

1114
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 2: his instinct to protect me and his desire to respect

1115
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 2: my decisions. From now on, I am going to listen

1116
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 2: to him and take his opinions into consideration when deciding

1117
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,439
Speaker 2: about family matters.

1118
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: Kind of sounds wise, honestly.

1119
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1120
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 2: And another silver lining that Initially she was like totally

1121
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 2: pushing back, and now she's like, let me get your

1122
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 2: thoughts and like talk through this with you. It's great,

1123
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 2: but always the sounding board. He promised me to stop

1124
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 2: the therapy talk and says that that was more of

1125
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: him being twenty one and trying to impress me with

1126
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 2: big words.

1127
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 3: Are they all like twenty one? No, well, the sister's

1128
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 3: thirty two, correct.

1129
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 2: Right, right right, This must have been back in there.

1130
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 2: I have noticed that he doesn't really do it anymore.

1131
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: So after my call with Magon, I walked into our

1132
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 2: shared bedroom.

1133
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 3: Oh they share a bedroom.

1134
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's with her fiance JK Jak, And he

1135
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 2: didn't have time to ask how it went before I

1136
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 2: burst into tears.

1137
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 3: He held me for a while.

1138
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 2: I am fine with physical touch and affection, especially from him,

1139
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 2: as long as it's not unexpected. Eventually, my phone started

1140
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 2: ringing again and I saw that it was mom. I

1141
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 2: told Max that I didn't want to talk to her,

1142
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 2: but if I didn't pick up it would become a

1143
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,959
Speaker 2: whole thing capital W capital T. He just silently held

1144
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 2: out his hand, and when I realized what he meant,

1145
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 2: I put my phone in it. The conversation wasn't on speaker,

1146
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 2: and I didn't really care enough to try and listen

1147
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 2: to what she said, and for the most part, I

1148
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 2: don't remember what he said after telling my mom I

1149
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 2: couldn't come to the phone. Just the beginning, Well, Michelle's

1150
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,919
Speaker 2: crying too, I think you should be just as.

1151
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 3: Concerned about that. And the end.

1152
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, my parents have said that they'd be more

1153
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 2: than happy to walk her down the aisle, so you

1154
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 2: should think on that. I told Max about these posts,

1155
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 2: and he was a little confused, but supportive and thinks

1156
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 2: it's funny how I've picked out names starting with M

1157
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 2: for everyone, and I have not had any more calls

1158
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 2: from my family. But Max called his mother a very

1159
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 2: nice lady and put her on speaker and she reiterated

1160
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 2: she'd be happy to walk me down the aisle with

1161
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 2: her husband. Man, it comes to that. So that is

1162
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 2: it for now. I find the anonymity very freeing as

1163
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: well as writing down what happened, so I will update

1164
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 2: you all as soon as there is one. By the way,

1165
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 2: if you are looking for an update to anything, an

1166
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 2: update for your life, an update to your story, I

1167
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 2: know exactly see where you can find one. In fact,

1168
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 2: we both know thousands or tens of thousands.

1169
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: Tens of thousands of stories. You're right into your ear

1170
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: holes directly.

1171
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: It's that Spotify, Apple podcast, your favorite podcast app search okay,

1172
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 2: story time and you have endless content full episodes with

1173
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 2: stories just like this.

1174
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 3: Get on over there, start listening.

1175
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 2: But saying, we actually have a fourth and final update,

1176
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 2: a very conclusive update.

1177
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: I want to know, did the sister, did Megan go

1178
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: to the wedding?

1179
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 3: That's what I want to know, That's what we all want.

1180
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 2: We might not get that, but I guess kind of

1181
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 2: closing thoughts, putting a bow on this story and conversation,

1182
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 2: What do you think right now, after all that's been said.

1183
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 3: And done, what I think is going to happen? Yeah,

1184
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 3: let's go with what's going to happen.

1185
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 1: I think that the sister is not going to go

1186
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: to the vows?

1187
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 3: Is there an update? This happened eleven days ago, this

1188
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 3: is recent? Wow?

1189
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a feeling like Ope, at a minimum,

1190
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 2: OP is not going.

1191
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 3: To relent, to be honest, given how.

1192
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't feel like there's there hasn't been softening

1193
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,879
Speaker 1: and if anything, there's been a hardening.

1194
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 2: Yes, like she's She tries to say like, oh, you

1195
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,399
Speaker 2: can come, but it's like, as long as you're okay

1196
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 2: with potentially never seeing me or the children or my

1197
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: husband or blank blank a blanke a blank.

1198
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's getting to Update number four.

1199
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 1: Harry Spagetti says, this story has been triggered. Af tell

1200
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 1: me why, tell us me know why?

1201
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 2: Update number four an update and goodbye. Hey, it's John here,

1202
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 2: og host of the show. We're gonna get back to

1203
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: these juicy stories. But here's a quick three minutes of

1204
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 2: ads from our sponsors. Max and I have officially disinvited

1205
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 2: Megan and my parents from the web.

1206
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 3: Wow.

1207
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 2: I am getting love and support from his family. I've

1208
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,399
Speaker 2: got all the advice I feel I've needed. So I'm

1209
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 2: going to delete this account as it has served its purpose.

1210
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 2: I'll leave this up for a little while before I do,

1211
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 2: the people who are invested can see it. Thank you

1212
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 2: for all the advice and.

1213
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 3: All the help.

1214
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: WHOA, I think there's some like very broken familial dynamics

1215
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: here that just are so twisted that I mean it

1216
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: would take you just need hell therapy, all three of you.

1217
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, this might be overly optimistic, but while we have

1218
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:10,439
Speaker 2: kind of burned down the structure of the familial unit.

1219
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 2: I do wonder if the things learned and exchanged in

1220
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 2: this insane nuking of familial dynamics could be a phoenix.

1221
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: It does feel like it did feel for a moment

1222
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 1: it kind of like crashed and burned.

1223
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1224
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: I did feel like for a moment like there was

1225
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: some like I see you and you see me.

1226
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,959
Speaker 3: You know. So Yeah, it's just sad. It is sad.

1227
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,280
Speaker 1: No one wins, Harry Spaghetti says to answer the question

1228
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 1: why you trigger it, because I understand the feeling of

1229
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: being deprioritized your whole life for a sibling with more

1230
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: complex needs, and then being villainized the one time you

1231
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: put boundaries in place to have your moment.

1232
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1233
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, it suck, but that's where that story ends.

1234
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:51,280
Speaker 3: It's true.

1235
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 1: I mean, Harry Spaghetti, thank you for sharing your perspective.

1236
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty Yeah, and everyone who went through

1237
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 1: this is this is a polarizing story, which I'm sure

1238
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: we'll hear about in the YouTube comments and definitely the

1239
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: Facebook comments. They will be coming for our throats. Luckily

1240
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 1: that's my kick, So choke me, daddy. Okay, So if

1241
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:13,840
Speaker 1: you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you

1242
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: and see you tomorrow.