WEBVTT - A Look Back: Hannah Ann Interview, Part 2 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.239 Hey, Happy Hour listeners, I hope you enjoyed these throwback 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.400 episodes of Happy Hour. We'll be back with new episodes 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:07.000 very soon. 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.800 All right, back to our Happy Hour listeners. We still 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:14.920 have Hannah an here. Part two is dropping now, So 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:16.480 here is the rest of that conversation. 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:17.239 Let's dive in. 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.599 So after the engagement goes down, you know, you guys 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:30.120 are together for a few days. I'm assuming at that 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:34.080 point it was good. Obviously you knew he had probably 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:38.239 been struggling a little bit. But how you had how 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:40.440 many happy couple times to get which And for the 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:43.320 listeners who don't know happy couple, it's a weekend where 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.440 they fly the couple out to LA You stay in 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:48.480 a house for a few days to do a couple 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:50.239 things and to get to know each other because you 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:51.040 can't be in public. 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.040 So how many of those weekends did you have together? 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.640 We had, I believe a total of three, including Australia. 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:02.000 Okay, And when you guys are in those moments, I'm 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:04.920 assuming you were talking about the future and making plans 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:06.160 about what we. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:09.200 Were looking into, you know, moving in together, looking at apartments. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:13.760 I mean, we were serious and really it was just 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.920 when the season started, was when I started, you know, 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.960 to feel his hesitation, and that didn't sit. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:21.280 Well with me. 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:25.120 But there again, he was giving me those words of affirmation. 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:26.520 To keep me there. 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:28.800 I'm not a dumb ass. I'm not just gonna stay 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.840 with someone, you know, just because of a commitment and 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:33.559 just because I want them. 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.800 No, he was giving me those words of affirmation. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:39.759 That kept me there, that kept you know, that fueled me. 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:41.360 To be like, Okay, I'm going to fight for this. 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.080 You know, yes we're in an un you know, yes 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.440 we're in an abnormal circumstance, but you know what, I 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.280 made this commitment and I love you and I'm going 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.000 to fight for you. You know, That's where all that came from. 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:54.360 Did after the season started, did y'all have another happy 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.880 couple Couples weekend? Or was the first time y'all saw 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.200 each other after the season started when the breakup happened. 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:04.080 We had a happy couple the end of December and 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:06.680 in January, and then the last one was when we 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:08.600 broke up. And that was like a full month of 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:11.720 not seeing each other, which is a lot of why 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:15.280 he blamed how he was struggling and so walking into 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:17.639 that day. You know. I even have a voicemail from 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:19.280 him saying, you know, I love you, can't wait. 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:19.600 To see you. 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:22.240 And going into that day, you know, I knew it 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.720 was going to be a tough conversation and we both 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:28.640 even said we will move past this. We will you know, 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:30.919 overcome this as a couple. 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:30.920 You know. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.880 And was that the first time y'all had the cameras 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:35.720 at the Happy Couple week? Yess so when you saw 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:36.960 the cameras, what did you think? 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:41.640 I knew something was up, but there again, you know, 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:45.359 through text messages and voicemails, I trusted his word, and 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:47.480 you know, obviously I'm happy. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:49.920 How things ended. I mean, gosh, I was miserable with them. 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:50.520 I mean I was. 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:54.800 Miserable really once January started, or once once January started, 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.040 because the whole wishy washing has started, and I was 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:00.000 just like, I need someone who knows who they are, 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.960 who knows what they want, and who's not going to 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:05.960 be with someone just because their mom told him to. 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:10.440 How I remember meaning those moments, how bad was your 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:12.960 anxiety and that struggle because when you can't be with 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:16.960 your partner and your states away and you know someone's struggling, 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.480 and that was that was so hard, and you know, 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:22.000 I was probably the most anxious I've ever been, because 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.919 you want to make this relationship work, you want to 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.520 just be normal with your partner, and you can't. 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.239 And so how did you deal with that? 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.520 How I dealt with it was I was just focusing on, 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:36.560 you know, forward thinking, thinking of the big picture, thinking 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:39.040 of us ending this together, and the words he was 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:41.040 feeding me, you know, we will get through this together. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.040 You know we will. You know, you're my fiance. 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:44.680 I love you. 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:45.800 You know you're the love of my life. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.120 That's what fed me, you know, to continue this forward 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:49.560 with him. 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.160 All of us would have fed into that. 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:55.480 I mean, he's my fiance, you know, this is a relationship, 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.120 he's my partner. I trust his words, and you know 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:02.760 I fell for it, and you know, showing up to 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.680 the breakup, I'm like, oh, these cameras. But we still 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.440 made that commitment that we were gonna, you know, work 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:10.000 through it. And you know, when he actually sat down 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:13.960 and told me more of half of the truth he's 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:16.120 been telling me, which she couldn't give me a full heart, 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:17.400 I was like, I'm tapping out. 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:20.320 Sorry, I gotta go back to Hannah Brown, because you 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.840 brought it up at tonight and yeah, far so it's 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:27.120 odcause it's a huge far that bothered you. Yeah, And 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.400 then in talking about it tonight, I guess I still 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:31.800 feel like I don't understand. I know he said that 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.600 he reached out or wanted to talk to her for closure, 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.640 But how did y'all in that? Were you just like okay, yes, 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.159 talk to her? Did you ask again, hey, have you 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:41.800 talked to her? 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:42.440 Like what? 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:44.480 Okay? He said it to you? 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:47.160 But then what the reason why that was brought up 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.800 is because it wasn't just one woman involved that we 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.760 were having to discuss. It was you know, he proposed 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.440 to me still being in love with Madison and still 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.479 needing closure with Hannah Brown, completely blindsided to that there's 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:02.400 three women involved in this, and that was brought up 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:06.720 because that was a huge part of our relationship with 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.479 him trying to convince me that he needed closure, and 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:10.920 then I should be understanding of that. 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:12.760 And I'm like, gosh, like. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.039 But that's what I want to talk about, is him 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:16.120 trying to convince you? 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.360 Yeah? Yeah, like help us understand. 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:22.560 That, Like what I don't necessarily need to understand what 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:25.560 he was saying to you to convince you, But how 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:27.680 did that? Did he say, oh, I talked to her? 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.200 Or did you say okay, I give you my blessing? 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.560 Did you ever follow up and say have you talked 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:32.800 to her? 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:33.960 What happened? Are you good? 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:36.680 They on some level. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:39.160 Had communicated, and he came to me saying, you know, 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:41.880 I need to speak with Hannah Brown because I need closure. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.120 And I'm like, well, why do you need closure? 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.000 Like why you're engaged? 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:46.360 Yeah? 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:47.760 And I was like, wait, didn't you have that on 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:51.200 the show? I should we should probably watch this episode. 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.359 Once I watched the episode, I'm like, well, where do 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:57.720 your feelings stand? He's like, well, we're engaged, but I 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.680 you know, we both just need me and hand around 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.600 both dieclosure And I'm just like, okay, well can I. 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:04.839 Is this in person? Is this on and off camera? 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:05.159 No? 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:05.760 Off camera? 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:10.400 I'm like, okay, I kind of feel uncomfortable after watching 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:12.920 that last episode and now you're saying any closure. 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:14.400 That kind of doesn't really sit well with me. 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:17.560 We're engaged, like, we're not just dating, we're engaged. See 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.480 what happened? How did it end? 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.400 It ended in him saying that he needed it, and 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.320 then I needed to support him, and I'm just like 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:27.599 I don't know how I quite feel about that. And 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.000 then shortly after that that was where the whole we 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:34.159 were shifted to our other issue of him feeling like 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.040 he had unresolved issues in regards. 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:39.400 To watching the show. So there was so many issues 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:39.800 going on. 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:41.159 I'm just I was miserable. 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:41.920 I'm just like. 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.479 Trying to figure out who can I talk to? Who 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.720 can I like figure out like am I just being. 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:50.800 Am I being too sensitive? 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:54.800 Or am I you know, not being treated how I deserve? 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:55.240 No? 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.640 Okay, coming in with somebody who has been in your issues. 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:01.440 There are so many. 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:04.039 Weird factors to starting out this sort of relationship where 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.560 you don't know where to turn and to add in 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:10.400 all these added things. Handah Brown shouldn't have even been 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.080 an issue at that point that you. 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:14.880 It shouldn't have been an argument at that point. And 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:17.760 as this is like the season's going on, like how 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:20.240 about checking up on how I'm doing, how I'm feeling? 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:22.640 And then you're just having all these issues. You know, 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:25.840 seeing Madison in your first day, seeing Hannah Brown, now 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:26.680 you need to talk to her. 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.720 It's like Calley like, do you think he part rock? 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:31.600 Do you think part of him still loved Hannah Brown 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:33.520 and in that moment. 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.880 Yeah, I think he had unresolved in. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.480 Back then or still in January. 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.920 I think still in January when he was with you. Yeah, 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:43.280 and that was the argument. 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:45.400 And did you say that he was in love with her? 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:48.280 Okay, he just said he needed to talk with her. 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:54.040 And I'm just like, what, like we're engaged, Like I thought, yeah, 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.760 that we've moved. I thought you've moved past all of that. 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.640 Like I've been completely blindsided, Like here I am, I 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:03.920 don't need to be contacting two x's about have enclosure, 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:06.840 like I'm here, I'm ready for you, and like although 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.240 I wasn't able to see the whole season, like the 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:13.640 audience is now, like I was blindsided to any. 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.600 Of this well, And you should have been his number 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:16.400 one priority. 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:20.880 That's where his heart and his worry and his attention. 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.160 Should have lied. Is that the right should have lied, 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:26.160 should like whatever you. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.320 Know grammar here, but but you should have been the 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:30.880 number one priority in his life. 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.840 And it seems like multiple things were taken that away. 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:35.520 And I feel for you because I get that, and 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:38.000 it's such a shitty feeling. And where you say you 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.160 wanted to be that sports system you wanted to get 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.320 through together, and like you, as a woman in his position, 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.240 it's like you still hurt and you still struggle, but 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.319 you don't know who to talk to because you can't 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.600 talk to most people about it, and if he's struggling, 0:08:51.679 --> 0:08:54.000 you can't talk to him constantly about it because he's 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:55.400 trying to work through his own shit. 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.719 And so who did you talk to? Who did you 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:59.680 lean on? Really? 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:03.920 Is you know what I didn't even tell I did 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:07.800 not even tell my parents until after our breakup because 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:11.120 I knew deep down my parents would have said get 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.720 out and run, run for the hills, dodge that bullet. 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:19.199 So no one really, I mean, I was trying to, you. 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.080 Know, for me, I made that commitment to him, and 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:22.640 I thought we were going to be teammates, like this 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:26.600 is what we work through together. This shouldn't divide us, 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:29.760 this should make us stronger. And that was kind of 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.880 what I always tried to do. And you know, in 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:35.120 a breakup, I said, you know, this has to. 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.800 Be fifty to fifty. And I haven't been feeling that. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.120 You made a comment during that breakup and I loved 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.360 it because it's stuck with me. You said, I am 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.559 my own rock, and in that moment, I was sitting 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.640 there like, yes, girl, Like, if you're not getting what 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:49.800 you need in this relationship and he can't promise all 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:51.600 the things he has told you, you have to be 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:52.280 your own rock. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.280 And so yeah, good for you. 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.959 I mean, I'm sure that it came as a blindside 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.240 and probably one of the hardest breakups because it's not 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.360 easy when you know millions of people are watching. 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.480 But you. 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.240 Seem like you still have that strength, and so kudos 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:06.920 to you like that. 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:09.079 I'm very proud of you and I and I. 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:10.920 Will say this like we still have much to talk about, 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:13.480 but I will say this is going to be one 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.720 of the hardest moments in your life, but you will 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.120 be just fine in the future and have all the 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.040 faith that you will like you, this will only make 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.920 you stronger and realize what you truly deserve in a relationship. 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.200 Yeah, I think you already have. You know, we said 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:28.440 it at the top of the podcast, you want tonight, 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:32.559 and not just because you saw what kind of unraveled 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:37.600 after you were on stage, but just because maybe you 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:40.440 had your voice before, but we saw you find your 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:43.720 voice and you were very matter of fact and you 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.840 were very It was like you knew exactly what you 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.520 needed to say and what he needed to hear, and 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:52.880 he literally couldn't respond to it. He couldn't defend himself 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.480 because it was kind of like you're right, you're right, 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:57.960 and you stood up to him and said, you took 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:00.520 these moments away from me that I can't it back. 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.040 But you know what, I'm going to be okay because 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:04.440 I'm going to get myself through it. 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:06.320 And at the end of the day, that's really what matters, 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:07.800 Like you can't depend on somebody else. 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:09.959 You realize, like in those. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.040 Moments, you realize you're stronger than you think. So, like, 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.880 kudos to you, I give you a standing ovation. If 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:18.199 we were on TV right now, But I think America 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.360 is going to see how you responded. They already are 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.520 right Like, I'm sure you're trending on Twitter as we speak. 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.520 Oh, people are probably then mowing you money to buy 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.200 your own drinks right now. I'm going to after this podcast, 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:38.360 treat yourself, take yourself a bottle of champagne because you 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:39.000 deserve it. 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:43.480 Yeah, I mean, call Kelsey. I'm sure she's getting like 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.800 a plus throat champagne like. 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:47.960 You. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:49.600 I think me and Kelsey, need to go out for 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:50.520 some champagne later. 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.360 Girls, you do, and myself. 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.760 I do have a question though, because you did see 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.160 tonight like you had one moment and then it was 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:06.600 like it was like that was one half and then 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.280 the second half was kind of what happened after. And 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:14.439 I'm pretty sure you saw how supportive Barb is of you, 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.960 whether you watched it last night or you saw tonight, 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.079 how she was clapping every single time you were missing. 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:24.000 She mentioned she was clapping every time you responded to Peter, 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:25.720 like against her old song. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.199 She was claping for you, and she was eyeing him down. 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.480 She was giving Peter, And. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:37.200 I'm just like, oh, I think people want to know 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.120 the love that she has for you, and the love 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.160 that she has for you is because you love her 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:46.800 son or loved her son unconditionally, and that's all a 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:48.120 mother really wants to see. 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.319 And I get they're not in the relationship and that's 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:52.840 a whole and you know, you and Peter have your 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.160 own relationship outside of that, but that's what a mother 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.360 wants for her child and she saw that in you. 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.480 Have you talked to Barb since then? 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.720 Talk to Barb? 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:06.199 And by that I mean I'm talking dms, I'm talking comments, 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:07.480 I'm talking texts. 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.120 Barb after a breakup, she definitely reached out a couple 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:12.880 of times I ended up. 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:13.839 You know, I love Barb. 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:15.120 I do too. 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:18.040 I honestly I could break down crying just thinking about 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.679 her right now because I miss her so much. But 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:24.600 I knew that forgiveness is only way forward, and I 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.080 needed to work on leading up to this day, to 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:29.840 forgive Peter and to move forward. And doing that is 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.280 you know, isolating myself from anyone close to him. And 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.760 I can't, you know, continue to talk to Barb every day, 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:37.880 you know, if I'm trying to move forward from Peter. 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.120 And you know, that's been also a heartbreak, you know, 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.560 not being able to you know, be a part of 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.800 Barb in her life. I mean that's also a heartbreak 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.760 and a breakup in its own self. And you know, Barb, 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.080 she's a really special person, and she's just looking out 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.000 for her son. She just wants someone to love her 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.079 son and you know, to root for his own happiness 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.480 and to you know, be in a relationship with them 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:02.360 for the right reasons. 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.960 I love to hear you say that, because she's getting 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:09.600 such a bad rap because of like I understood where 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:10.479 her heart. 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.839 Was and what she was saying. Maybe she went just 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:16.560 a little too funny, but I know she was coming 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:17.520 from a good place. 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:22.800 And people are so crazed over Madison that nobody is 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:26.560 listening to what she's actually saying. So it's very nice 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.720 to hear you give a different side, in the softer 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:31.760 side of her. Becca and I've both talked to Barb 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:35.280 as well. We adore her, and it's just a shame 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.200 kind of what I knew tonight. She was being very 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.960 defensive because of the hate that she's receiving online, and 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.360 she's just trying to tell her side of it, and 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.080 it's just not being received at all. 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:49.040 I mean quite honestly. 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.480 I mean this has come from an ex fiance of Peters, 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:55.480 but I mean, you know, Peter deserves the world and 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.960 deserves someone that will love him with their whole heart 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:02.400 and be there for their reasons. And that's where me 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.000 and Barb, you know, connect. 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:07.040 Okay, I'm gonna ask you, do you think that that's Madison. 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:10.920 I don't know her horror, I don't know. 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:14.800 I don't know if I guess I never really knew 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:16.400 if she loved him or not. I mean she walked 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:20.400 away from him. But for me, I loved Peter and 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:22.840 I was never going to leave his side, even through 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.200 the worst. And I think that's what Barb's all in me, 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:26.880 and that's what she you know, That's what any mother 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.560 wants for their son, is someone to be with them 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:31.280 that's gonna unconditionally love them. 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.360 I want to know now since because tonight was the 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:37.280 first time you saw Peter and his family since the 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:38.000 end of jail or. 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.120 Oh, I can barely look over at his family. 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:41.920 I knew how I looked at her rest family. I 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:42.920 was just gonna start crying. 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.920 But how was in that moment sitting next to him, 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:52.160 did you still have those feelings of some sort of 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.520 lingering love or are you now to the point I 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.160 guess I want to know where you're at, Like, are 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.720 you at the point where you're like you the best? 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:02.720 I mean, as much as it sucked, thank you for 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:03.640 doing what you were doing. 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:08.640 Yes, yeah, I'll always have you know a special place 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:12.520 for him. But I mean he's betrayed me, misled me, 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:18.960 and that alone has and watching back the season, that 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:23.000 really resolved a lot of like extra feelings I had 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.240 for him. I mean just I'm watching a play by 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:29.280 play of me getting deceived, and that alone it was, 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.520 you know, a slap in the face and it's helped 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.080 me move forward. But you know, to be honest, when 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.000 I looked over at his family, yeah, I did, you know, want. 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.480 To start to cry and just you know, I felt. 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:43.600 Like, you know, me and Peter just had this awesome 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:48.480 situation and it was like just stripped away from me 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:49.040 so quickly. 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:50.520 You know, it was a future that I. 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.840 Lost, but more importantly, it was the loss of a 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:56.840 person I thought he was. And I think that's what 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.840 I'm grieving over, is the person I thought he was, 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:01.800 you know, telling me to trust him, and the words 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.720 he you know, gave me that I trusted. 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:05.920 In were completely. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:08.960 I don't know if you want to call it lies 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.160 or if you just want to call it shallow. 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:12.280 That we all thought. 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.320 Yeah, I mean, it's it's been very difficult. 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:16.600 I can only imagine. 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.480 And I think that that's what's so therapeutic for Becca 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.600 to be here in this podcast and to talk to you, 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.320 because she knows exactly what it is that you're going through. 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.439 You know, I'm a viewer. I only watch it, and 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:30.160 I can only empathize with you. It's just it's troubling 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:35.080 because we talked to Peter before the season or while 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.200 he was still filming, and then right when the season started, 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:42.960 and I remember we were saying that more than anything 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.960 for him, we wanted him to find love because we 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:47.600 know how badly he wanted and we know that he 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:50.000 wanted someone to love him unconditionally. 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.120 That's what he said, That's what he told us. 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:56.000 And he had it, and then he let it go, 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:59.600