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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight,

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Speaker 1: We got it for you here it is throw up

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Speaker 1: every letter subject. He facetimed me while he was with her.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I met the love of my life

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Speaker 1: seven years ago and I was twenty one years old

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Speaker 1: at the time. He's three years older than me and

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Speaker 1: had already had a child. He was my first everything,

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Speaker 1: and he influenced everything I did. I overlooked a lot

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Speaker 1: of things he did because I was young and crazy

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Speaker 1: in love. He would be intimate with the mother of

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Speaker 1: his child, and he didn't try to hide it. It

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Speaker 1: made me feel like I wasn't good enough or skilled

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Speaker 1: enough at sex because he kept on having sex with her.

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Speaker 1: She threw it up in my face whenever she could,

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Speaker 1: so I finally broke up with him. I was heartbroken,

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Speaker 1: but managed to stay friends with him. He ended up

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Speaker 1: having another child with this lady and told me that

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Speaker 1: it was a big mistake. Then he started dating this

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Speaker 1: lady he worked with, and they had a baby together.

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Speaker 1: After his third child was born, he came to me

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Speaker 1: humbly and said he was so tired of how he'd

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Speaker 1: been doing things and he wanted me back. He also

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Speaker 1: said he was ready to get married. We got back

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Speaker 1: together eight months ago, and I'm pregnant. He seemed to

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Speaker 1: be happy when I told him, and he said he

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Speaker 1: would have my dream wedding. We would have my dream wedding,

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Speaker 1: but that's on hold for now. A week ago, he

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Speaker 1: went to visit his youngest son and we were on

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Speaker 1: FaceTime as he drove. When he got out of the car,

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Speaker 1: he thought he had hung up and he must have

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Speaker 1: thrown his phone in his pocket. I heard a female mumbling,

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Speaker 1: and then I clearly heard her ask if he had

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Speaker 1: a condom. Then I heard a lot of money. I

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Speaker 1: hung up and I got physically ill. When he came back,

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Speaker 1: I didn't let him know what I'd heard. I'm about

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Speaker 1: to deliver his fourth child and he's still a liar

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Speaker 1: and a cheater. I don't want to be a single parent.

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Speaker 1: What should I do now? Well, girl, You got to

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Speaker 1: get it together, I mean quickly and in a hurry.

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Speaker 1: You're you're about to deliver his fourth child. You gotta

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Speaker 1: just stop being stupid. These are some stupid moves you've

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Speaker 1: been making, you know, with this man. This guy's been

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Speaker 1: using you, lying to you all along, and you keep

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Speaker 1: on falling for it. I know you're young, but I

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Speaker 1: mean you could have just asked him to use a condom.

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Speaker 1: You could have to use protection. It's okay to to

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Speaker 1: say that you know, or did you want to get

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Speaker 1: pregnant by him. I'm not so sure you didn't, you

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Speaker 1: know because you were so happy to have him back.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and did you think that a baby would

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Speaker 1: keep him well? As you can clearly see, it didn't.

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Speaker 1: And now although you may not want to be a

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Speaker 1: single parent, you will be. This guy is a loser

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Speaker 1: in every sense of the word, who just keeps dropping

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Speaker 1: babies wherever he goes. I mean, he's not thinking about protection.

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Speaker 1: And you know you never once said at least he's

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Speaker 1: a good father, because he doesn't. He's not. He's not,

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Speaker 1: let's face it, he's too busy making kids and he's

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Speaker 1: immature like a kid. I'm sorry you loved him more

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Speaker 1: than you loved you and got yourself caught up in

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Speaker 1: his game of lies and deceit. But please know that

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Speaker 1: it is not the end of the world for you.

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Speaker 1: First of all, please don't even consider marrying this guy

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Speaker 1: right now. I mean you need to walk away from

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Speaker 1: this toxic relationship. It is now time to make plans

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Speaker 1: for a future without him. Use this time. I'm telling

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Speaker 1: you to use this time to figure out how are

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Speaker 1: you going to take care of your baby and taking

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Speaker 1: that baby daddy to court right now? Steve, Wow, this

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Speaker 1: love of here. Man. I feel bad for this lady

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Speaker 1: right here, this young girl. But this started wrong, and

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Speaker 1: it's wrong from the very beginning, and there are no

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Speaker 1: corrections being made along the way. And now you're faced

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Speaker 1: with the ultimatum at the end of this letter. You're

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Speaker 1: simply saying, I don't want to be a single parent.

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Speaker 1: What should I do? Now? Well, let me show you

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Speaker 1: what has happened so I can paint a clear picture.

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Speaker 1: Fee you met the love of your life seven years ago.

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Speaker 1: Stop saying that, because if this is the love of

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Speaker 1: your life, your life is headed for a loveless, remaining livelihood.

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Speaker 1: This can't be the love of your life. This was

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Speaker 1: the love of your life, so you thought up until

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Speaker 1: that point. But after you met him, he started proving

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Speaker 1: to you he was not the love of your life.

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Speaker 1: You've got to get a better definition of love of

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Speaker 1: your life. You gotta learn how to let somebody else

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Speaker 1: love you that knows how to do it. Twenty one,

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Speaker 1: he's three years older, he already had a child. He

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Speaker 1: was my first everything. He influenced everything I did. I

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Speaker 1: overlooked a lot of things he did because I was

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Speaker 1: young and crazy in love. Right there, right there, you

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Speaker 1: made the statement, young lady, that I want you to

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Speaker 1: pay attention to I overlooked a lot of things he

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Speaker 1: did because I was young and crazy in love. He

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Speaker 1: would be intimate with the mother of his child. He

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Speaker 1: didn't try to hide it, so he just throw it

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Speaker 1: up in your face. It made me feel like I

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Speaker 1: wasn't good enough or skilled enough at sex because he

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Speaker 1: kept having sex with her, and you knew he was

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Speaker 1: kept having sex with her, and you allowed him to

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Speaker 1: have sex, and then he kept having sexual and then

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Speaker 1: the lady threw it up in your face whenever she could.

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Speaker 1: And now you got other women calling you about the

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Speaker 1: love of your life. And the love of your life

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Speaker 1: is screwing all these other people. I was heart broken,

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Speaker 1: but I managed to stay friends with him. Why Why

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Speaker 1: what has he done that's friendly towards you? You know,

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Speaker 1: we need to do two things right now. When we

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Speaker 1: come back, we talk about it. You need a new

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Speaker 1: definition of friend and you need a new definition of love.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hold onto that thought. We'll get part

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Speaker 1: two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hours subject he facetimed me while he was

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Speaker 1: with her. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject he facetimed me

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Speaker 1: when he was with her, This young lady who I

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Speaker 1: have no jokes for because I'm heartbroken for her because

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Speaker 1: at twenty one, she claimed to have met the love

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Speaker 1: of her life, which she was just the love of

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Speaker 1: her life up at that point. But this guy has

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Speaker 1: shown her no respect or love. He was your first everything.

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Speaker 1: He influenced everything you did, and the mistake you made

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Speaker 1: was I overlooked a lot of things he did because

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Speaker 1: I was young and crazy in love. So what did

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Speaker 1: you do. You allowed him to have sex with other women,

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Speaker 1: repeatedly that you knew about it. They had other women

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Speaker 1: called you to confront you about them screwing that he

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Speaker 1: was doing with them. You allowed it, and you allowed

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Speaker 1: him to put it in front of your face because

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Speaker 1: he didn't care that you knew about it. Okay, these

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Speaker 1: are the stuff you did. You allowed to happen because

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Speaker 1: he was young and crazy in love. Now let's move on.

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Speaker 1: So finally you broke up with him, You say, but

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Speaker 1: y'all remained friends. Why what friendly was he towards you?

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Speaker 1: He's done nothing but dog you the entire time. That

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Speaker 1: ain't love or friendship. I was heartbroken, but man of

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Speaker 1: state friends when window he ended up having another child

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Speaker 1: with this lady. So now that lady they had another baby,

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Speaker 1: and told me that it was a big mistake. Then

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Speaker 1: he started dating a lady from work and they had

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Speaker 1: a baby together. Now, after the third child was born,

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Speaker 1: he came to you humbly and said he was so

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Speaker 1: tired of how he's been doing things that he wanted

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Speaker 1: you back. He also said he was ready to get married.

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Speaker 1: Oh he said everything you wanted to hear. We got

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Speaker 1: bit together eight months ago, and I'm pregnant. He seemed

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Speaker 1: to be so happy when I told him. He said

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Speaker 1: we would have my dream wedding. But all that's on

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Speaker 1: the whole now. You know why because a week ago

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Speaker 1: he went to visit his youngest son and we were

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Speaker 1: on FaceTime as he drove. When he got out the car,

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Speaker 1: he thought he had hung up, and he must have

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Speaker 1: thrown his phone in his pocket. You heard a female momling,

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Speaker 1: and you clearly heard her ask if he had a condom.

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Speaker 1: Then I heard a lot of moaning. I hung up

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Speaker 1: and I got physically ill. When he came back, he

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Speaker 1: go to other mistakes. I did not let him know

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Speaker 1: what I heard. Now I'm about to deliver his fourth child.

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Speaker 1: He's still a liar and a cheetah, has been at

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Speaker 1: the entire time. And I don't want to be a

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Speaker 1: single parent. What should I do now? So, a young lady,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to be a single parent, So the

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Speaker 1: only other option is this. You can get married and

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Speaker 1: ruin your entire remaining life by being married to this

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Speaker 1: liar and this cheetah. All you could take this blessing,

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Speaker 1: this baby. Learn from your mistakes. Never allow another person

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Speaker 1: to walk over you take your child, raise him, and

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Speaker 1: then wait on your real love of your life to

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Speaker 1: come along. You're still young, You're still young. This is

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Speaker 1: not the end of the world for you. The baby

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Speaker 1: is not a mistake. It's not The baby is fine.

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Speaker 1: The baby will you. You'll be fine. You will manage,

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Speaker 1: just like every other single parent does. Do not marry

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Speaker 1: this man. Now he gonna have to get his But

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Speaker 1: it's not up you. It's not up to you to

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Speaker 1: give it to it. Let me tell you something, ladies,

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Speaker 1: y'all waste a lot of time being scorned. And I

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Speaker 1: do understand it, and I ain't saying it shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: that way. Because you hurt, you hurt, He'll have no

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Speaker 1: fury like a woman scorn. I used to think it

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Speaker 1: was a Bible verse. I swear to God I did.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was a Bible verse. It's not, but

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Speaker 1: it sounds so true. And they use the word scorn.

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Speaker 1: Scorn is a biblical turn. That's why I thought it

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Speaker 1: was a Bible verse. But it's not. So. Now you

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Speaker 1: have it, you have a decision to make. Cut your

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Speaker 1: losses from this man. Stop giving yourself to this man.

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Speaker 1: Stop thinking you can change this man. Stop hoping this

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Speaker 1: man changes. You may have been the love, he may

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Speaker 1: have been the love of your life, but listen to me,

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Speaker 1: young sister, you have never been the love of his

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Speaker 1: life ever and you are not now. So let God

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Speaker 1: handle him. Oh please know he got his coming. Ladies,

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Speaker 1: dudes that do like this, they don't get away scott

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Speaker 1: for him. That's why I just need you to know that.

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Speaker 1: And he'll probably have more kids, you know, with other women. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean a lot of stuff's gonna happen, but it

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Speaker 1: don't need to happen in your face though. No, you

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Speaker 1: can take your baby and get along and start over.

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Speaker 1: And it happens all the time. There are men who

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Speaker 1: accept women who have children with open arms. Become great fathers,

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Speaker 1: great families, They adopted kids, the kids take their name.

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Speaker 1: All types of stuff happen. Don't think it's hopeless for you.

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Speaker 1: But please do not let your yearning not to be

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Speaker 1: a single parent, wanting not to be a single parent,

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Speaker 1: be in your decision in factor of whether you marry

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Speaker 1: this worthless, no good human being. For don't compound your mistakes.

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Speaker 1: Your mistake was taking him back. Don't compound it by

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Speaker 1: keeping him. Let it go, little girl, Uncle Steve telling

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Speaker 1: you walk off, cut your losses, tell him what you

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Speaker 1: know so he knows ain't going about your post your

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Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strubberry Letter at Steve Harvey fem on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on

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Speaker 1: demand coming up at forty six minutes after the hour

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Speaker 1: from the talk our Girl Cheryl Underwood. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show