WEBVTT - SISANIE- Quiet Dumping

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<v Speaker 1>I mean when I looked at the notes for the

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<v Speaker 1>show and so you had a report about quiet dumping,

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<v Speaker 1>so many things crossed my mind.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, the same thing happened to me when I

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<v Speaker 2>first heard about this. It's like, why are you talking

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<v Speaker 2>about what?

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<v Speaker 1>You just do it really quietly?

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<v Speaker 2>So confused, So that's not what it is, not what

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<v Speaker 2>you're thinking about.

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<v Speaker 1>No, why dumping and why are people doing it? So

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<v Speaker 1>it's obviously it's not. Ghosting is different than ghosting.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it might be even worse than ghosting because

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<v Speaker 2>it's manipulative, it's it's gas lighting, it's it's it's a

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<v Speaker 2>cross between quite quitting and ghosting. Do you remember we

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<v Speaker 2>talked about quite quitting a few weeks ago, from probably

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<v Speaker 2>months ago at this point. Yeah, And it's when people

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<v Speaker 2>only put the minimum amount of energy into their job

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<v Speaker 2>when they're over it already because they're already looking for

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<v Speaker 2>something new. But they're just like, I'll just be do

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<v Speaker 2>the minimum anyways, and if they get fired, to get

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<v Speaker 2>fired or eventually or I just don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>So is this people trying to get people to break

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<v Speaker 1>up with them.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's people just doing the minimum into but now

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<v Speaker 2>into the relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>And so that the other person sees that there's like

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<v Speaker 1>nothing there and they break up with them. They don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to do the breaking up exactly forever.

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<v Speaker 2>It could go on forever, Noble. It all depends on

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<v Speaker 2>what your style of dumpiness. Maybe this is your style.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know. I think that.

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<v Speaker 2>Ryan seems very familiar with it.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like the term maybe is new. But I do think

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<v Speaker 1>that people have lost interest for decades in relationships and

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<v Speaker 1>they just go quiet.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a slow phasing out right. So it's quiet. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's quite quitting, but just in a relationship. But it's

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<v Speaker 2>it's a form of gas lighting because then you start

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<v Speaker 2>making the other person feel like they're doing something wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>when in reality they're not doing something wrong. It's you

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<v Speaker 2>with the issue, and you're the one that's not. It

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't have the you know, wabeles to and the reallylationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Tanya, have you ever just gone sort of silent or

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<v Speaker 1>less engaging in a relationship to get them to be

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<v Speaker 1>turned on less or turned off?

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<v Speaker 2>I can't say that I have. I'm usually the dumpy.

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<v Speaker 3>The dumpy, Yeah, you're the dumpy yeah, you say, can

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<v Speaker 3>we have a chat? Oh no, sorry, the dumped dumped? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>that is.

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<v Speaker 1>The dumpy, then, isn't the dumper to the dumpy? I

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<v Speaker 1>think you're right.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think I'm right, because which reminds me, I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know that she's saying she's not the dumper, therefore

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<v Speaker 3>she is the one that's dumped.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're saying you get dumped, Yes, dump. I know

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<v Speaker 1>so sad.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we keep saying it over and over again. Thank you, Ryan,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you, thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, we know the value that she provides their loss.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you weren't the right what do you say, you

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<v Speaker 2>weren't the right sock for them?

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<v Speaker 3>It wasn't the right sock for their phone.

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<v Speaker 1>They're listening, some of them are listening right now, hearing

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<v Speaker 1>about the success that you were having with Robbie, thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>she's the one that got away.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, she's the sock that got away. Believe. I do

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<v Speaker 2>believe that.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually yep, And I think I know one of the

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<v Speaker 1>few specifically that's saying that.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, why you gotta go and put some nonsense in

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<v Speaker 2>her head like that?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, look at her face, but you see she's all

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<v Speaker 1>let up.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, she wants to know who she's gonna go and

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<v Speaker 2>like search old instagrams and.

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<v Speaker 1>Reason you think it is.

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<v Speaker 2>She's engaged Bliss right now, and you're okay, okay, we

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<v Speaker 2>don't need to go down a rabbit.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, this all stays here.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't stay here, just stay here.

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<v Speaker 1>A microphone, Yeah, but they're not listening.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Anyways, the point of this is, let this be

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<v Speaker 2>a P S A. And so if you're in a

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<v Speaker 2>relationship like this, maybe it's time to evaluate it. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's all. That's all I'm trying to say.

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<v Speaker 1>I hear it.