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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to have a relationship with my mother in law.

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Speaker 2: She makes things.

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Speaker 3: Harder, should make things softer.

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Speaker 2: That even mean part one, there's a lot to unpack.

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Speaker 2: I read it. I'm a twenty one year old female

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Speaker 2: and my husband twenty nine male. We'll call him Bob,

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Speaker 2: and I met in the army. We ended up eloping

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Speaker 2: and having a baby together. Everything has been great between us,

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Speaker 2: but his mom will call her Karen, good name to start,

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Speaker 2: has had it out for me since day one. I've

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Speaker 2: honestly tried to keep the peace, but I feel like

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Speaker 2: things have gotten so weird and uncomfortable that I just

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Speaker 2: don't want a relationship with her anymore. Let me explain.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Notorious Chingona and if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

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Speaker 2: slash Shokey Storytime subridd it. So right after Bob and

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Speaker 2: I got married, Karen made a passive aggressive post on

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Speaker 2: Facebook because I didn't immediately change my last name, stuff like,

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Speaker 2: you're acting thingle if you don't take his name. What

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Speaker 2: she didn't understand is that in the military, changing your

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Speaker 2: name isn't a quick process. I figured I'd just wait

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Speaker 2: until I got out, but clearly that wasn't good enough

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Speaker 2: for her. The first time I ever met her in

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Speaker 2: person was when I gave birth to our baby. She

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Speaker 2: flew in the next day, came into the hospital room

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Speaker 2: and completely ignored me, like I was literally laying in

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Speaker 2: the hospital bed, and instead of even saying hello, she

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Speaker 2: started asking my husband right in front of me, how

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Speaker 2: I was doing, aw, the labor went, et cetera. I

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Speaker 2: was right there. She could have talked to me, but

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Speaker 2: it was like she was pretending I didn't exist.

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Speaker 3: I can see that. Going in for the hug, you're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: and then the hug to and rejected.

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Speaker 2: She stayed with us for two weeks to help with

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Speaker 2: the baby, but all she really did was rearranged my

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Speaker 2: entire kitchen to her liking, only did laundry for herself

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Speaker 2: and Bob. She would literally toss mine into a corner

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Speaker 2: in the bedroom. While I was still he kept complaining

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Speaker 2: about wanting to leave me home alone with a newborn

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Speaker 2: so she and Bob could get a hotel downtown and

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Speaker 2: go up drinking. And you, I was still struggling to

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Speaker 2: walk and get to the bathroom on my own. Why

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Speaker 2: is she there if she's not helping, She's very much

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Speaker 2: not helping.

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Speaker 3: She's not even there to see the baby. She's there

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Speaker 3: to see her baby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Thankfully Bob shut the idea down immediately, but she

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Speaker 2: was definitely salty about it. About a week after giving birth,

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Speaker 2: Bob and I went on a short date and convinced

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Speaker 2: Karen to babysit. When we got home, Bob went to

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Speaker 2: the gym and I asked Karen for the baby so

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Speaker 2: I could put her to bed. As she handed me

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Speaker 2: my daughter, she goes, come on, baby, go to your mom.

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Speaker 2: Even though Nana doesn't like her.

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Speaker 3: Well, at least she's being honest to your baby.

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Speaker 2: Why did she say that? I awkwardly laughed because I

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Speaker 2: didn't know what to say. I wouldn't know what to

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Speaker 2: say to that either. Later I told Bob and he

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Speaker 2: said she told me it was just a joke, and

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't make a big deal about it. How is

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Speaker 2: that a joke?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Do you think it was a test?

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Speaker 2: A test for what?

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's gonna tell Bob. And then Bob told her

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Speaker 3: and like, oh, I've got Of course I knew she.

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Speaker 2: Was gonna do that, but like, that's not funny. Then

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Speaker 2: a few days later, my family invited everyone out to

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Speaker 2: our favorite beach bar grill spot. Everyone came, my parents, brothers,

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Speaker 2: their girlfriends, family friends, and yes, even Karen. They had

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Speaker 2: live music and we were all seated near the stage.

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Speaker 2: Karen sat with her back facing the band. One of

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Speaker 2: my brothers, he's twenty three, was sitting across from her,

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Speaker 2: facing the music so he could watch the performance. He

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Speaker 2: starts singing along with the band, looking in the direction,

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Speaker 2: and Karen pulls me and Bob aside to tell us

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Speaker 2: that my brother was making her uncomfortable because he was

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Speaker 2: singing to her.

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Speaker 3: What huh okay?

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Speaker 2: She thought he was looking at her and serenading her

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Speaker 2: in front of his girlfriend, who was sitting right next

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Speaker 2: to him. Karen is almost sixty. My brother was just

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Speaker 2: vibing to the music. There's more, but I'll save it

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Speaker 2: for another post. This whole experience has been weird and exhausting.

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Speaker 2: I'm at the point where I just don't want to

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Speaker 2: have a relationship with her anymore. But I know my

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Speaker 2: husband is close with her, so it's tough. And there

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Speaker 2: is an update. But does you have any thoughts.

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Speaker 3: Before you just cut her do anything like that? He

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Speaker 3: is definitely talked to her, or at least talked to

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Speaker 3: Bob to talk to her. Bob is definitely at least

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Speaker 3: not put up with her great.

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Speaker 2: But he's not really paying attention. He's like, oh, it's

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Speaker 2: just a joke, like he needs to clue in.

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Speaker 3: I think if your partner is uncomfortable from a family

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Speaker 3: member or you know, something like that, you got to

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Speaker 3: stand up for your partner.

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Speaker 2: Exactly like Bob, you need to wake.

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Speaker 3: Up, especially you know the parent and the mother of

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Speaker 3: your newborn. Absolutely give her all the help she can get.

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Speaker 2: Update. So Ever, since Bob and I got together, his mom,

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Speaker 2: Karen has constantly trauma dumped on him about her harmful boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying she wasn't in a bad situation, but

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Speaker 2: she would call Bob non stop crying, telling him how

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Speaker 2: horrible her boyfriend was and how she had nowhere safe

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Speaker 2: to go at the time. We were both active duty

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Speaker 2: and the military and couldn't just drop everything to help.

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Speaker 2: Bob ended up giving her a house that his grandfather

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Speaker 2: left to him, just so she would have somewhere safe

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Speaker 2: to live. He only asked her one thing, don't sell

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Speaker 2: it so it could stay in the family.

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Speaker 3: I wonder what she's good.

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Speaker 2: You should I've told her that she could live in there,

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Speaker 2: but like you shouldn't have given her any deed or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, no deed, no not then, just like you can

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Speaker 3: stay there. It's a lot.

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Speaker 2: I know it probably wasn't the best move, but Karen

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Speaker 2: really manipulated the situation, and I told him to do

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Speaker 2: whatever he felt he needed to do to help her.

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Speaker 2: Of course, what does she do? She sells the house immediately.

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Speaker 2: How did you give her everything?

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Speaker 3: How do you do it that fast?

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Speaker 2: It's shocking? And what did she use the money for?

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Speaker 2: Not to get safe, not to start fresh. Nope, she

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Speaker 2: spent it on her boyfriend, the same harmful guy she

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Speaker 2: supposedly needed to escape. They used the money to buy Booze,

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Speaker 2: fix this truck, and basically blow it all. Bob didn't

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Speaker 2: see a dime from the house that was originally his inheritance.

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Speaker 2: Why did you give her the deed?

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Speaker 3: I think it was just like it maybe just happened.

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Speaker 2: So quickly, but that doesn't make any sense to me.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why. And I think especially when said

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Speaker 3: that at the very beginning, Bob, We're like, don't tell

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Speaker 3: the house. He kind of just gave her all your cards.

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Speaker 2: Like you could have made it kind of like a

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Speaker 2: landlord said, situation where maybe you're not charging her anything,

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Speaker 2: but she doesn't have the power to sell it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and unfortunately it's a little too late now.

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Speaker 2: A few months later, Bob and I were out of

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Speaker 2: the military, back in Texas and our baby was a

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Speaker 2: few months old. Karen was still living in another state,

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Speaker 2: but would call constantly to cry about how bad her

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Speaker 2: boyfriend still was. They were both always wasted, constantly fighting

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Speaker 2: and honestly being toxic to each other. She'd even admit

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Speaker 2: to putting hands on him too. Bob was exhausted hearing

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Speaker 2: about it. We had a trip planned with my family

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Speaker 2: to go to a concert at a casino in Oklahoma.

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Speaker 2: We already had a family friend lined up to babysit

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Speaker 2: so we could have a little break and enjoy some

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Speaker 2: time out. But days before the trip, Karen had another

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Speaker 2: emergency and begged Bob to come get her. So what

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Speaker 2: does he do. He cancels the trip, drives from South

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Speaker 2: Texas to Kansas, gets a U haul, and moves all

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Speaker 2: of her crap out of the apartment she shared with

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Speaker 2: her boyfriend. The boyfriend didn't even own anything, it was

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Speaker 2: all her stuff. Bob drove her and her stop to

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Speaker 2: Colorado to live with her family. Meanwhile, I still into

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Speaker 2: the concert with my family, brought our baby with me

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Speaker 2: and had the family friend tag along just to help

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Speaker 2: for a couple hours. I stayed with the baby the

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Speaker 2: entire rest of the trip. Not even a full month

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Speaker 2: after that, Karen found a nice rental house for herself

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Speaker 2: near her mom. We thought, maybe finally she was going

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Speaker 2: to start over, but of course she moved her harmful

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Speaker 2: boyfriend right back in After everything Bob did to help

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Speaker 2: her leave, He didn't talk to her for weeks after that.

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Speaker 2: So what does Karen do in response? Starts posting hateful

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Speaker 2: comments on my Facebook posts, because obviously this is all

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Speaker 2: my fault. In her eyes, I must have been the

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Speaker 2: one who turned her son against her, Even though Bob

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Speaker 2: was just sick of the manipulation. She blamed me for everything. Again.

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Speaker 2: There is an update, but you need to block this

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Speaker 2: woman on Facebook.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, at this point, there's no point of keeping someone

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Speaker 3: this manipulative and toxic her life, especially the way she

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Speaker 3: likes to be the center of attention and make everything

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Speaker 3: about herself and just make you just feel bad about yourself.

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Speaker 3: No reason for that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, oh, this is like you gotta go some

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Speaker 2: sort of no contact or low contact with this person. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: probably no contact. She literally kind of stole your partner's house.

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Speaker 3: That was gonna be his inheritance and then ultimately probably

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Speaker 3: your inheritance and your child's inheritance. Maybe a little bit there.

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Speaker 3: So not great, but.

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Speaker 2: There is an update. A few more months go by

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Speaker 2: and things kind of settle. Bob starts talking to Karen again,

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Speaker 2: even though she's still with the same harmful boyfriend, and

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Speaker 2: I'm still getting passive, aggressive or straight up rude comments

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Speaker 2: from her. The fact that you're twenty one and your

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Speaker 2: boyfriend is twenty nine and still like acting kind of

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Speaker 2: like a child is ridiculous. The fact that he's letting

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Speaker 2: her get away with being rude to you and letting

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Speaker 2: her stay in his life while you guys have a

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Speaker 2: kid is just ridiculous to me. Like, I feel like

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Speaker 2: Bob needs to step up a lot more here. Every

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Speaker 2: time she calls my husband to complain about her boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: how terrible he is, how he drinks and hits her,

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Speaker 2: Bob either hangs up or tells her the truth. He's

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Speaker 2: already tried to help her twice. He gave her a

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Speaker 2: house to escape, He moved her halfway across the country

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Speaker 2: to get her out of the relationship. He even told

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Speaker 2: her I have my own family to take care of now.

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Speaker 2: If you really wanted a fresh start, you would have

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Speaker 2: taken it when I gave it to you. I understand

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Speaker 2: that he's trying out. It seems like she is in

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Speaker 2: a bad situation. But like I think, you just have

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Speaker 2: to have a conversation with Bob and say, there are

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Speaker 2: only so many times that you can give someone a

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Speaker 2: second chance and try and help them out if they

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Speaker 2: don't help themselves.

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Speaker 3: At this point, what is she bringing to the table.

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Speaker 3: What is she bringing you? Your family, Bob, everyone and

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Speaker 3: your family to the table. It seems like nothing but stress.

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Speaker 2: And every time he says that, she flips the switch

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Speaker 2: and starts bashing me instead. It always ends up with

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Speaker 2: yelling and cussing matches. This became the pattern for a while.

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Speaker 2: Now fast forward to June twenty twenty four, Karen ends

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Speaker 2: up in the hospital, put there by her boyfriend. I mean,

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Speaker 2: she clearly is in a terrible, terrible situation, but like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what Bob is supposed to do here

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Speaker 2: beyond what he's already done. She had a concussion, he

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Speaker 2: got arrested, and Bob was furious. He starts seriously looking

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Speaker 2: for a place for her near us in South Texas

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Speaker 2: so he can help keep her safe and be around

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Speaker 2: if her boyfriend tries to come back. He was worried

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Speaker 2: she was drinking constantly, on anxiety meds and just not

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Speaker 2: in great shape physically or mentally. But when Bob started

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Speaker 2: looking for houses for her, she turned into the pickiest

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Speaker 2: person ever. Nothing was good enough. You'd think if you

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Speaker 2: were trying to escape a harmful relationship and be closer

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Speaker 2: to your grandchild who you constantly complained about not getting

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Speaker 2: to see, you'd be grateful for any decent place, especially

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Speaker 2: when someone else is helping you. But nope, Karen turned

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Speaker 2: down a house after a house. Some were way nicer

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Speaker 2: than where she was coming from, and then came to

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Speaker 2: the common that really stunned me. She didn't want to

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Speaker 2: live in certain areas because there were too many Mexican neighbors,

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Speaker 2: which South Texas is a heavily Latino area. It was

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Speaker 2: just disgusting to hear that kind of blatant racism from someone.

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Speaker 2: My husband was still trying to help her. Harmful boyfriend

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Speaker 2: can knock her around and she'll keep going back to him,

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Speaker 2: But her son, who's bent over backwards for her multiple times,

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Speaker 2: gets nothing but complaints and insults. It blew my mind.

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Speaker 2: I Mean, sometimes when people are in this situation, they're

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Speaker 2: just like, it feels like kind of impossible for outside

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Speaker 2: people to help them.

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Speaker 3: At this point, It's like, what's the point of helping

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Speaker 3: her too, It's like this house is too small, this

256
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Speaker 3: house is too big. She's basically Goldilocks, and like, what

257
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Speaker 3: do you want?

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Speaker 2: She's Goldilocks? But like there's wolves outside and she needs

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Speaker 2: to stop being picky. Finally, in October, Bob found a

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Speaker 2: place that was good enough. It was a rental, a

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Speaker 2: temporary solution, so she could get out of Colorado and

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Speaker 2: away from her ex while looking for something more permanent.

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Speaker 2: Here's where I screwed up. I offered to let her

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Speaker 2: stay at our house, no until our moving truck made

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Speaker 2: it in from Colorado. Bad idea. It got delayed because

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Speaker 2: of a snowstorm, and I figured it'd be a few

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Speaker 2: days tops. Just a gesture to help while she got settled.

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Speaker 2: I could have told you that stop giving her houses.

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Speaker 3: She's already sold one.

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Speaker 2: There's a third update. No, it's just like you can't

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Speaker 2: help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. You have

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Speaker 2: tried so many times. Letting her continuously come back into

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Speaker 2: your life is only hurting you, guys.

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Speaker 3: At this point, she's just taking advantage of just especially

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Speaker 3: your husband, taking control of Bob and manipulating Bob, which

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Speaker 3: I know he's trying to be the best son he

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Speaker 3: could be by You know, my mom's going serious mess,

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Speaker 3: and I get it. But she's not being compliant with

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Speaker 3: any of the help that you know he's trying to

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Speaker 3: get her.

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Speaker 2: But there is a third update. Karen finally moves into

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Speaker 2: her house temporarily while she waits for her stuff to arrive.

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Speaker 2: I'm in school full time, enrolled in a very demanding

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Speaker 2: medical program, and I made it clear to everyone that

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Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of bandwidth. My days start

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Speaker 2: at five am, I have an hour long commute, I

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Speaker 2: stay after class to study at the library, and I

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Speaker 2: don't get home until seven pm. Most days. My husband,

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Speaker 2: who does his school online, takes her toddler to day

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Speaker 2: care and picks her up around three pm. When I

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Speaker 2: get home, I immediately shift into mom mode and try

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Speaker 2: to be as present and helpful as possible. Given that

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Speaker 2: all I asked from Karen was basic human decency.

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Speaker 3: You think that you're going to get that you ask

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Speaker 3: Karen to do something.

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Speaker 2: Like, hey, can you clean up after yourself in the

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Speaker 2: guest room you're staying in. If you cook something, can

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Speaker 2: you just wash the dishes you use? That's it, nothing outrageous.

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Speaker 2: But apparently that was too much because she told people

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Speaker 2: I was treating her like a slave. I was floored.

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Speaker 2: I'm barely hanging on with my schedule, trying to juggle school,

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Speaker 2: motherhood and being a functioning human being, and somehow I'm

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Speaker 2: the problem because I asked her not to leave dirty

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Speaker 2: dishes in the sink. This is a person who has

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Speaker 2: proven time and time again who she is.

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Speaker 3: Stop giving her the benefit of the doubt.

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Speaker 2: Then came the breaking point. It was Monday, and as usual,

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Speaker 2: I went over to my older neighbor's house for dinner.

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Speaker 2: She's sweet, cooks often and it's usually just her daughter

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Speaker 2: and her daughter's girlfriend. It's one of the few quiet

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Speaker 2: breaks I allow myself. That particular day, I'd studied all

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Speaker 2: afternoon at the library, took my daughter to the park

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Speaker 2: to get some meat time to get some time with her,

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Speaker 2: and then made a salad to bring to dinner. Before

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Speaker 2: I left, I asked Karen very kindly if she could

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Speaker 2: just stay inside the house. That's it. My daughter had

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Speaker 2: already been fed and was sound asleep upstairs. I was

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Speaker 2: literally going next door, same building, shared wall. It's not

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Speaker 2: like I was leaving for the club. Thirty minutes into

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Speaker 2: the dinner, Karen calls me screaming on the phone, full

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Speaker 2: cussing meltdown, telling me I'm a lazy mom, that I

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Speaker 2: should be studying or taking care of my daughter, and

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Speaker 2: that my priorities are completely screwed up. Keep in mind, again,

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Speaker 2: my daughter was already asleep, the kitchen was clean, and

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Speaker 2: my schoolwork was done, and I was literally just next

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Speaker 2: door trying to decompress for a second, so I hung up.

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Speaker 2: I called my husband, who was at the gym, and said,

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Speaker 2: you need to come home and get your mother out

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Speaker 2: of this house before I go in there and blow

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Speaker 2: it all up.

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Speaker 3: Finally, I hate when it always comes to like the

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Speaker 3: most extreme points.

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Speaker 2: We should have just kept her out of this house

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Speaker 2: in the first place, should have never given her access

335
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Speaker 2: to the inheritance house.

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Speaker 3: This should have been never happened in the first place.

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Speaker 3: Like after that, that should have been like the final

338
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Speaker 3: straw or the straw that broke the camel's back.

339
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Speaker 2: He didn't hesitate. He came home, walked in and calmly

340
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,720
Speaker 2: told Karen she needed to leave good on Bob, finally

341
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,240
Speaker 2: putting up boundaries that it wasn't his problem if removing

342
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 2: truck hadn't arrived yet, and that she'd be staying in

343
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,560
Speaker 2: an empty rental until it did. Her response, she said,

344
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,360
Speaker 2: I would it's just some twenty year old mom who

345
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 2: doesn't know how to be a mom or a wife.

346
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Speaker 2: My husband didn't say a word. He picked up her suitcase,

347
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,320
Speaker 2: walked it out to her car and set it down.

348
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Speaker 2: Let's go nice, Bob. Nice. She stormed out, peeled off

349
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Speaker 2: down the street and that was the last time she

350
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Speaker 2: set foot in our house. And there is an update.

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Speaker 3: But good on Bob, Great on Bob.

352
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Speaker 2: It took him a while to get over this relationship

353
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Speaker 2: with his mom, but it seems like he's like finally

354
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,080
Speaker 2: coming to realize that he needs to set these boundaries.

355
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Speaker 3: You know, you try to be the best son you

356
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 3: could be, and I get it.

357
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Speaker 2: And seeing a mom in a really horrible situation, absolutely

358
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Speaker 2: understand that.

359
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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's like it gets to a point where

360
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Speaker 3: it's just like your wife comes to be priority now.

361
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Speaker 3: And I think, great Bob.

362
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Speaker 2: Especially after having tried to help so long. But there

363
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 2: is another update. There is one last piece of this

364
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 2: whole saga that still hurts to even talk about. My

365
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,000
Speaker 2: husband's sister passed away in a tragic and horrific way.

366
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Speaker 2: I'm not going into detail. There was a lawsuit involved

367
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,440
Speaker 2: in an NBA, so legally and emotionally, it's just not

368
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,640
Speaker 2: something we discuss. Just No. It was heartbreaking and traumatic

369
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,960
Speaker 2: for everyone and it changed my husband forever, which honestly

370
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 2: does make a lot of sense of why he would

371
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,880
Speaker 2: probably want, like do the most to try and help

372
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 2: his mom, because you know, he's already lost someone. That

373
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 2: does make sense, so I understand why it took him

374
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 2: so long to get to this point. Karen, being next

375
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 2: of kin, received a settlement from the case. She promised

376
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 2: my husband she'd split the money with him fifty to fifty.

377
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 2: His sister didn't have anyone else, no spouse, no kids,

378
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 2: just Bob and Karen. Bob tried multiple times to get

379
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 2: her to put something in writing legal documentation to make

380
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,720
Speaker 2: sure the money would actually be divided. But if there's

381
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 2: one thing about my husband, it's that he's loyal and

382
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 2: he trusted her, and he's also not the type to

383
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 2: fight over money. He believed his mom would do the

384
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 2: right thing. When the first settlement payment came through, it

385
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 2: went directly to Karen's account, to her credit. At first,

386
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,040
Speaker 2: she did send him his half like she promised. With

387
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 2: that money, we were finally in a position to buy

388
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,280
Speaker 2: a house. It should have been a moment of relief

389
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,640
Speaker 2: and healing for us, but the whole thing was clouded

390
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 2: by grief, stress, and more manipulation from Karen. Bob really

391
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 2: struggled with the idea of receiving money in the first place.

392
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,439
Speaker 2: He kept saying, no amount of money makes this Okay,

393
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,680
Speaker 2: I just want my sister back, and I get that

394
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,479
Speaker 2: I told him she can't be here to be an

395
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 2: aunt to our daughter. But maybe this is her taking

396
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 2: care of you and your little family now. Maybe this

397
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,879
Speaker 2: is our way of helping from wherever she is. Things

398
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,440
Speaker 2: got complicated with the VA loan process when they saw

399
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 2: this large sudden deposit in Bob's account. We had to

400
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 2: explain it was from a legal settlement without breaking the

401
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: NBA and provide proof that it was an income or

402
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 2: something shady. But because Bob wasn't on any official paperwork

403
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 2: saying the money was meant to be his, we needed

404
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,159
Speaker 2: Karen to write and sign a simple letter confirming that

405
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,919
Speaker 2: it was a gift. And what did she say? Have

406
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,239
Speaker 2: fun getting the house without this letter? Did this all

407
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 2: happen before all the events that you've already described, because

408
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 2: it's crazy that you would continue to be around her

409
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 2: if this happened.

410
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 3: Genuinely shocked, she refused.

411
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 2: To help after everything, after the promise, after the money

412
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 2: was already in his account, she tried to sabotage the

413
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 2: one stable thing we were building for our family. We

414
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 2: had to jump through so many oops. It delayed everything,

415
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 2: but eventually through a ton of stress and paperwork, we

416
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 2: finally closed on our home. The day Karen found out

417
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,119
Speaker 2: we got the house, she sent me a Facebook message

418
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 2: congratulations on the house that was bought with my daughter's money.

419
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 3: Of course, she said that I would show Bob immediately.

420
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,120
Speaker 2: I saw red. I snapped and told her, at least

421
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,680
Speaker 2: we're using it wisely and not on booze, and I'll

422
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,920
Speaker 2: leave it at that. I won't go into detail about

423
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: the rest, but I absolutely let her have it. Every

424
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 2: pent up frustration, every backhanded comment, every manipulative thing she's

425
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 2: ever done. I laid it out. And the best part,

426
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 2: my husband backed me one hundred percent. He went off

427
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,119
Speaker 2: on her too. He told her in no uncertain terms

428
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 2: that she will never disrespect me again, and that she's

429
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 2: no longer a part of our lives. She's cut off

430
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,679
Speaker 2: completely good. It seems like this must have happened post

431
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 2: all of the house stuff.

432
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,919
Speaker 3: I would believe so. And it was very limited communication.

433
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 3: But again, when family passes away, you got to have

434
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,919
Speaker 3: communication and everyone's grieving, so like it seemed like everything

435
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 3: was like, all right, this is very nonchalant, this is

436
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 3: it is this? Okay? Of course, Karen was going to

437
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 3: be Karen.

438
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 2: After losing a child, to treat your other child.

439
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 3: Like that, and then to use it as a kind

440
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 3: of like a weapon. You used my daughter's money who

441
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 3: passed away. You used her money to buy your house.

442
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 3: You're welcome, really, really despicable. It's gross.

443
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 2: To be clear, Bob has stood up for me many

444
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 2: times before. Every time she crossed the line, he put

445
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: her in her place. But this time was different. This

446
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 2: time he was done. No more second chances, no more.

447
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 2: That's just how she is. He's over it, and so

448
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 2: am I. Karen's now threatening not to send him the

449
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 2: rest of the money she owes him, and honestly, we're

450
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 2: okay with that. We're not fighting anymore. It's not worth it.

451
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 2: I've tried so hard to be patient and understanding. I've

452
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 2: made excuses for knowing she's been through trauma, knowing Bob

453
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,679
Speaker 2: as too. I've handled it the best I could. But

454
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 2: I can't keep feeling sorry for someone who causes so

455
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 2: much pain. I'm done, so is my husband, and that

456
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 2: is the end of that story. I mean, you can't

457
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 2: continue feeling bad for someone who just keeps biting the

458
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 2: hand that's feeding them.

459
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 3: They didn't want to get fed disgusting behavior.

460
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 2: I mean, I think right now you and Bob have

461
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 2: to focus on your new family that you have, which

462
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 2: is you, Bob and your child and kind of move

463
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 2: past this woman who just keeps taking advantage of you

464
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 2: in your kindness. But that is the end of that story.

465
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 3: My in laws caused chaos at my rehearsal dinner, so

466
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 3: I walked away from the marriage.

467
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 2: Leave them at the altar if they cause chaos.

468
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 4: Yes, don't do that.

469
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:36,959
Speaker 2: Bad advice.

470
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 3: My male thirty nine x Beyonce Kelly forty female and

471
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 3: I were together for three years. We are both divorced

472
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 3: and have children from our previous relationships. I had kids

473
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 3: with my ex wife and Kelly got married really young

474
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 3: and divorced after ten years. Ben met a guy and

475
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 3: got pregnant within weeks and tried to work things out,

476
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 3: but they couldn't. By the way, this comes from user

477
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 3: okay entrance thirty seven, and if you want to submit

478
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime.

479
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 3: Separate it. So we did have our challenges but always

480
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 3: managed to pull through. We are both working class, so

481
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 3: when I proposed we both agreed to either have a

482
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 3: very small wedding or hold a larger event later because

483
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 3: I would need to save up. She doesn't have a job,

484
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 3: and I would need to save up for over a year.

485
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 3: We skipped the big wedding integrate on a ceremony and

486
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 3: reception at her family's home where her aunts live. Great

487
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 3: Kelly and I plan for a very simple wedding to

488
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 3: take place in the space at her family's backyard and

489
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 3: the garage. Because I was paying for almost everything, they

490
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 3: offered to let us use the space as our venue

491
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 3: at no cost. Okay, everything's going well, Yeah, so far,

492
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 3: so good, good deal. So I purchased the booze with

493
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 3: exception to a few cases of beer, and paid for

494
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 3: the rental chairs and tables. My groom's been chipped in

495
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 3: with a few things. While I noticed that her family

496
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 3: was being very laid back. Don't get me wrong, it

497
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 3: was my wedding in our responsibility. But I noticed that

498
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 3: she slowly began listening to them and wanted a few

499
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 3: things that were not in our budget. So she wanted

500
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 3: a floral arch and I managed to get one. Her

501
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 3: mom began pushing for more stuff to accommodate her family's ideas.

502
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 3: We agreed on a bakery cake and mother in law

503
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 3: twisted her lips in disapproval. Those things felt annoying but manageable.

504
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: Fast forward and her big brother, Justin Mail forty seven,

505
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 3: got depressed because he got dumped. The official story is

506
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 3: that his wealthy, itchy ex girlfriend decided to dump him

507
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 3: and treated him badly. I regretted letting him stay with

508
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 3: us after I learned that he cheated on his ex.

509
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 3: This bothered me a lot, since his ex helped him

510
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 3: out many times, and then lots of things for his kids.

511
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 3: Zero trust after that, Kelly and her siblings think that

512
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 3: he's godlike because he took over the paternal role when

513
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 3: her parents got divorced. They give him way too much credit.

514
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: The guy can't even hold a job, can't even guide

515
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: his children right, and does lots of entertainment parenting but

516
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 3: doesn't teach them responsibility. I can't stand him, and Kelly

517
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 3: knows this. He can't talk about his life during his

518
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 3: twenties for.

519
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 4: A whole day.

520
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,360
Speaker 3: It's always about how women chased him, how an ex

521
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 3: girlfriend tried to unlive herself, how women had cat fights

522
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 3: over him. I had to confront him about these weird

523
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 3: stories to make him shut up. As the wedding approached,

524
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 3: it became more difficult to get Kelly's attention in our relationship.

525
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 3: She started taking him on drives to check on his

526
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 3: ex Why I object to this. Then he would constantly

527
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 3: interrupt us to bring updates on guess who his x yo.

528
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: He only wanted to apply to online jobs and ended

529
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 3: up trying to enroll me in something that didn't look

530
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: serious at all. I asked her to make him leave,

531
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 3: but she got very angry and stopped talking to me.

532
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 3: Kelly and I had a huge argument that I'm sure

533
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: he overheard. I went to take a shower, and when

534
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 3: I came out of the bathroom, I overheard him telling

535
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 3: her that he didn't expect me to understand him because

536
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 3: I'm too simple. Oh my god, I can't remember his

537
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 3: exact words. And said he doesn't expect a insert my

538
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 3: job to understand his life.

539
00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 2: Oh because oh he's like working class. Well, you who

540
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 2: were cheaters, though, I don't expect you to understand to

541
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: have a good relationship.

542
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 3: I feel like the job that he has, I think

543
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,959
Speaker 3: it's like a Hollywood esque job.

544
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:14,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the cheating brother. Yes, he sounds very egotistical

545
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 2: with the oh, I had.

546
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 3: Girls chase me, I had girls fight over me. Who

547
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: cares he cheated on his ex and now he's like,

548
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 3: we have a chat on her weird behavior. I immediately

549
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 3: confronted him, and not only did she deny everything I heard,

550
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 3: but she basically took his side. I punted him out

551
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: and drove him to mother in laws with all of

552
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 3: his things. That was four months ago, and her family

553
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 3: never treated me the same. We had our rehearsal dinner,

554
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 3: which was supposed to be a very small gathering. My

555
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 3: kids and her kids were present, as well as my

556
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 3: parents and maybe ten other people on my side. Her

557
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 3: family kept showing up. I know that her family cooked

558
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 3: for the occasion, aside from other things that were provided,

559
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 3: but the point is that I was restricted from bringing

560
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 3: people while her side of the list kept growing and

561
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 3: showing up. This is a rehearsal dinner. Why no one

562
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 3: needs to be here for a rehearsal. You want like

563
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 3: the immediate people.

564
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 2: You want the people who are there to rehearse. It's

565
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 2: not like just like a random party that you were

566
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: throwing for the wedding. It's like it's got a job.

567
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 3: Usually both parties agree like this is the max amount

568
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 3: of people that we're fighting. There's a little bit of

569
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 3: food tasting.

570
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 2: Running through when people are gonna.

571
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 3: Do It's like a pregame pretty much. It's like a

572
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 3: pre party. You do a little bit of the rehearsal,

573
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: where you walk, where you go, who you partner with,

574
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: you walk down the aisle. Great, that's fun stuff. It

575
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: shouldn't be this big of a party. The worst part

576
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,239
Speaker 3: is that her mother got wasted. My family and I

577
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 3: are very low key and a bit shy, and mother

578
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 3: in law is belligerently wasted and started to act vulgar.

579
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 4: I took her.

580
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 3: Comments about me and Justin and stride just to keep

581
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 3: the peace, but my family felt uncomfortable and I knew

582
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 3: that she was trying to insult me.

583
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: Not at the freaking wedding rehearsal. Why are we insulting

584
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: the groom?

585
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 3: And I guarantee you Justin's in the background going like, whooo,

586
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 3: that's my mom.

587
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,959
Speaker 2: He's the worst. Don't even know why I showed up

588
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: to this stupid wedding rehearsal.

589
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 3: He probably has a mouthful of food and like three

590
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 3: beers ready to go.

591
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: I don't even know why I'm at this wedding verre

592
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: So women chased me all the time.

593
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,719
Speaker 3: I pulled Kelly's side about four times to ask her

594
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 3: to control her mother. To her credit, she tried to

595
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 3: get her mom to sit down. Her family, an older

596
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 3: aunt and two cousins, also got wasted and got pretty loud.

597
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 3: By the time we were supposed to show some pictures

598
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 3: on the monitor, nobody was paying attention, and Justin was

599
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: telling jokes and acting like the event was about him.

600
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 3: The chairs had been pulled away from the tables, and

601
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 3: the burghers and hot dogs intended for the kids were missing.

602
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 3: I asked my parents to take my kids home, and

603
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 3: after raging inside for the whole night, I decided to

604
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: ask my friends to help me load all the booze

605
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 3: and stuff that I had contributed that were physically kept

606
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 3: at her family's home into our cars. Everyone went quiet

607
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 3: after that. Oh, no, Opie, they're gonna think you ruined

608
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 3: the party. You're the party pooper.

609
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 2: Uh oh, this isn't going well.

610
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: This is not going well.

611
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 2: I mean, your wife needs to be more on your side.

612
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: It seems like she hasn't really been on your side

613
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: that much.

614
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 3: No, not at all. I was gonna say, like if

615
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: family met, or like, if your partner's side of the

616
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 3: family is just completely rude to you and your partner's

617
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 3: not standing up for you, or at least like she's

618
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: making excuses for them, not a good sign. Terrible sign,

619
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 3: especially since what we've at least gotten your side of

620
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 3: the story, it seems like you haven't done anything wrong

621
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 3: and tried to communicate with your partner, and what is

622
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 3: she doing.

623
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: Big old heap of nothing. When she denied that her

624
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: brother had said anything bad about you, and you were

625
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 2: there when you heard it, that would have been like,

626
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if we can continue, not necessarily saying

627
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: you have to break up, but I would be like,

628
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if we should get married right now

629
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 2: if we're not on the same page about how your

630
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: family's treating me.

631
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 3: And especially your brother is very toxic. I just don't

632
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 3: like his presence and she doesn't support you, know, at

633
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 3: least a cordial like distance. She's not being fair to you.

634
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 3: Back to the hot dogs and burgers, it was a

635
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 3: complete crapshow Kelly started crying and promised that her family

636
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 3: would apologize. I didn't want to talk because her family

637
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 3: used our rehearsal to party on my dime. I went

638
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 3: to stay with a friend from all this, What hurts

639
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 3: the most is that hers and my kids, so her

640
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 3: kids as well, had to see the wasted spectacle, and

641
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 3: my parents had to see me in an embarrassing situation.

642
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 3: Kelly and I talked. She was very eager to fix things,

643
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,959
Speaker 3: but while I still love her, I don't see myself

644
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 3: repeating the experience. I knew her family wasn't perfect, and

645
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 3: of course mine isn't either, but I had very very

646
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 3: little support from her. She says that her family were

647
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 3: being just a big family, talking among themselves and being loud,

648
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 3: and that while she understood that I was offended, I

649
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 3: caused a scene and she didn't disown me. I haven't

650
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: been able to sleep because I feel empty and alone.

651
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 3: It took a lot from me, but I decided that

652
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 3: we should cancel the wedding.

653
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: I think that's absolutely the plan. Again, like I think

654
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: a lot of people jump to like, oh, breakup, Like

655
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 2: you know, prevorce at least canceled a lot.

656
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 3: I what you need to do. You need to have

657
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 3: a full on conversation with Kelly and let her know like, hey,

658
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 3: that wasn't cool and I'd stop making excuses, like I

659
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 3: think we should just elope.

660
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 2: And maybe that ends with a breakup, but like also

661
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: it might just end with like we can't get married

662
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 2: right now, we have to go to some sort of

663
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: therapy and then maybe in like a year it can reassess.

664
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is time for you, Like, you

665
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 3: don't want to rush any of this, so take your time.

666
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 3: I know it's gonna be a lot of more drama

667
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 3: to you know, ensue.

668
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: But also maybe this is leading towards break up.

669
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 3: Who knows, maybe it might strengthen your bond and strengthening

670
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 3: your communication. With everything we are about to find out.

671
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: I never want to see her mom or her brother again.

672
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 3: I will never ask her to cut them off because

673
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 3: despite everything, it's not fair and she will hate me. Also,

674
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: she would never do it. And the fact that my

675
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 3: parents said they would support whatever I decided, but they

676
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: would prefer not to attend my wedding but would go

677
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 3: anyway because they wouldn't do that to me really stung.

678
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: So my family was ignored and I was treated poorly.

679
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 3: And I'm supposed to act like nothing happened, and by

680
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 3: the way, you can act like something's happening every single

681
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 3: day with us. You can listen to full episodes with

682
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 3: stories just like this. You can go to Spotify, Apple pot, iHeartRadio,

683
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 3: or your favorite podcast app and search Okay.

684
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 2: Storyteme very true, very true, but there's a little bit

685
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 2: left to the story. It does seem like threading for

686
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: breakup right now.

687
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 3: He's trying to be as fair as possible. He's like,

688
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum here, so

689
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: I'm just doing the hard cut for you, Like I

690
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 3: can't deal with your mother, I can't deal with your brother.

691
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 2: I mean, they've already had a lot of conversations where

692
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: he said like, hey, you're not standing up for me, Like, hey,

693
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: your family's treating me poorly, and like just over and

694
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 2: over has not been heard.

695
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't think you have to like, okay,

696
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 3: you have three strikes. It's like, listen, I didn't see anything,

697
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 3: and now that I'm telling you this, now you want

698
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 3: to change it. No, And I think that's very fair

699
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 3: on op to be like, I'm not going to make

700
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 3: you cut off your brother and cut off your mom

701
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: like you love them, I don't like them and I

702
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: can't be around them. Sorry, it's just your family doesn't

703
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 3: like me, now I don't like them. It's not gonna work.

704
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: Kelly did not take the cancelation very well. But I

705
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 3: just can't do this. I said, I will pay the

706
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 3: remaining portion of the least to avoid getting her and

707
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 3: her kids, but our relationship is over. I already removed

708
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 3: my things to avoid dragging a painful breakup. I know

709
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 3: I will never go back, but her words about not

710
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: disowning me hurt me because despite feeling that I'm on

711
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: the right, I feel like I failed her somehow, like

712
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 3: she feels that I gave up and that she feels

713
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: my walking out was far worse. Am I the a whole?

714
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 3: We have some comments, let's jump right into them. Comment one,

715
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 3: if this is real, this was a dumpster fire. You

716
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 3: didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuke. Holy hell.

717
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 3: I will say this though, in regard to the brother,

718
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 3: he may have been parentified. Back can cause a lot

719
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 3: of stuff to irrupt when you're older.

720
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: He was treated godlike, and it's like it seems like

721
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 2: he was definitely parentified, so he's definitely got to have

722
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: some issues when it comes to that, like.

723
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 3: The savior complex too, where he's like, I save this family,

724
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 3: so I get whatever I want. He's old enough to

725
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: quit it, though, but he may not even realize he's

726
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 3: being an obnoxious butt. Hope he says, yes, I agree.

727
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 3: The other portion of their anecdotes were about how he

728
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 3: became their warhorse against father in law during the divorce

729
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: and now he had to take everyone in when he

730
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 3: got married, also at an early age, and how this

731
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: destroyed his marriage because he had to put their kid

732
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 3: in their bedroom and accommodate four people on the nursery,

733
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 3: my ex mother in law and her two brothers, which.

734
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 2: Is absolutely like a really probably traumatic thing and really

735
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: hard thing to have dealt with at a young age,

736
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 2: but also not a peace problem and shouldn't mean that

737
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 2: he gets to take it out on a pee.

738
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: That also shouldn't be your personality. Like, I get it,

739
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 3: he did something right. I will give him his credit,

740
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 3: like you took everyone under your wing, and you stood

741
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 3: up and you would matured and you did what you

742
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 3: had to do. But you cannot use that and weaponize

743
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 3: that as like I took care of everyone. I get

744
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 3: the final say I am the best here. The situation

745
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: exploded because his ex came from a well to do

746
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 3: family and she made him move into her family's spare

747
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 3: room in their land, and this caused a huge problem

748
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 3: because mother in law soured on her. My uneducated impression,

749
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 3: I'm assuming maybe he's trying to preserve that sense of

750
00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: heroism by acting ridiculous. Common number two. The only thing

751
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 3: that can make you the a hole is not canceling.

752
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 3: After she helped her brother stalk his.

753
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: Ex, especially the acts that he cheated on.

754
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 3: He cheated on her, it seems like everyone's chill with

755
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 3: it again because it's the hero complex. He's like, but

756
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 3: he did that thing when we really needed him, so

757
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 3: you know what, he can have. His good deed, his

758
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 3: big brother deed negates everything.

759
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 2: He is diplomatic immunity.

760
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 3: He he's literally immune to being a bad guy. But

761
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story.

762
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 4: Hey, John og host here, we're gonna get back to

763
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 4: this episode. But a quick three minute break of ads

764
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 4: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

765
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 5: My boyfriend is jealous of my twin brother. Our closeness

766
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 5: weirds him out.

767
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 4: How close are we talking here? Are we talking like

768
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: this close or like that close?

769
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 5: So my boyfriend apparently watches a lot of game of thrones.

770
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 3: You don't be compared to that.

771
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 5: As siblings Circi and Jamie Lanister. I see my brother

772
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 5: once or twice per month. When we see each other,

773
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 5: we may have launch, catch a movie, take a walk,

774
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 5: or just pump back at his apartment or mine and

775
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 5: watch movies, play video games, or just have some bruise

776
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 5: and catch up. By the way, this comes from BF

777
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 5: love's go thrones too much and if you want to

778
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,720
Speaker 5: submit your old stories to God to our such okay,

779
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 5: storytime subred it. So I see my brother three to

780
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 5: four times per week. At least on a good month,

781
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 5: we see each other probably more than twenty to thirty days.

782
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 5: We've been together for fourteen months. My boyfriend has met

783
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 5: my brother several times. At first I thought they were cool.

784
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 5: My brother honestly got that vibe as well. Beyond hanging

785
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 5: out a few times. Initially, my boyfriend never really hung

786
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 5: out with my brother when he was in town, despite

787
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 5: me asking as well as my brother inviting him along. However,

788
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 5: recently he brought it up to me that he was

789
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 5: not comfortable with us hanging out so much alone and

790
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 5: it made him feel weird. He has asked me not

791
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 5: to be alone with my brother when we do hang out,

792
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 5: and if that's not possible and it will just be us,

793
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 5: then he doesn't like that idea. I again, I reiterate.

794
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 5: My boyfriend clearly watches too much Game of Thrones because

795
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 5: he seems to have some assumption there is some sort

796
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 5: of weird genetic copy pasting going on or something. My

797
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 5: brother and I have always been closed and had each

798
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 5: other's backs. That's it. We live our own lives, but

799
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 5: we love each other and make an effort to maintain

800
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 5: a good relationship, especially as our own lives begin to

801
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 5: move off in separate directions despite only living a few

802
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 5: hours apart. I have no idea what it is or

803
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 5: why he would want me to do this. He is

804
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 5: not giving me a reason beyond I don't feel comfortable

805
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 5: with you hanging out with that guy.

806
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 4: With that guy, it's my twin brother. This guy definitely

807
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 4: got like red pilled.

808
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 5: There is a photo on Instagram of the two of

809
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 5: us on a hike along with my brother's friend. I

810
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,280
Speaker 5: damaged my ankle a couple months back on that hike

811
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 5: and my brother carried me on his back on the

812
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 5: rest of the way. His friends took photos because it

813
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 5: simply looked funny. But my boyfriend pretty much dislikes those

814
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 5: and says, it's really weird that you are all twenty

815
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 5: something and are so close. For ref's sake, he is

816
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,240
Speaker 5: my brother and I was injured. Yes, I am angry

817
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 5: at my boyfriend because he asked me to stop hanging

818
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 5: out alone with my brother. I do not appreciate the implications. Reddit,

819
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 5: what do you think of the situation? What do you

820
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 5: think I should do? We got relevant comments well, but

821
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 5: Womble says most crazy boyfriends start forbidding contact with non

822
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 5: relatives before getting to this level of paranoia. Congrats on

823
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 5: finding an overachiever. I guess Opie thinks, I suppose little

824
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 5: stray lord. Next, he'll be uncomfortable with you wearing underwear

825
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 5: because the textile is too close to your genitals. And

826
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 5: what's that cotton spandex blind got that's so special that

827
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 5: he lacks. Thank him for being honest with you and

828
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 5: let him know that you'll be patient while he worked

829
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 5: on getting a grip and recognizing that many people are

830
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 5: close with their siblings and that is both normal and awesome.

831
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,439
Speaker 5: Then continue appreciating your closest with your brother and being

832
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 5: thankful you have someone who will always have your back.

833
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 5: Opie says, exactly. I know people who are absolutely wish

834
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 5: they had a sibling or two they're as close with

835
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 5: as I am with my brother. Of course, my boyfriend

836
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 5: has a couple younger brothers and one elder sister, and

837
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 5: they aren't really close. So I don't know what if

838
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 5: that's got a bit to do with it.

839
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 4: And there it is, folks, so I think that's part

840
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 4: of it. And then, of course the other part is

841
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 4: just this guy's incapable of I guess, not seeing every

842
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 4: other man as a threat to his relationship. Yeah, it's

843
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 4: a little weird. I've been there. We've all been there.

844
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 4: Like the guy she tells you not to worry about

845
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 4: it's just that in my case it's never been her

846
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 4: actual twin brother, because you don't have to worry about that.

847
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 4: The lead it said, I.

848
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 5: Think you really need to reconsider being in a relationship

849
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 5: with someone who can't separate things fantasy from reality. Opie

850
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 5: says he really doesn't watch Grahame of Thrones beyond a

851
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 5: few episode. He's just really religious.

852
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:06,760
Speaker 4: Et cetera.

853
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 5: Doesn't watch inappropriate stuff. I just thought it'd be a

854
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 5: funny title for a funny, such awkward situation.

855
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 4: So that was just fake. Think my boy friend's been

856
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 4: watching a long game of Thrones.

857
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 5: That was just fake.

858
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 4: Clearly he did see I mean you only need to

859
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 4: see one episode to learn about that where he pushes

860
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:23,439
Speaker 4: the little boy.

861
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, wow, things I do for love e.

862
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 5: Lait, it says. But as it stands, your boyfriend is

863
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 5: still jealous of your brother, which is weird. Have you

864
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 5: asked him why he thinks it's weird that you're so

865
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 5: close to your brother, Opie says. He just says it's uncomfortable. However,

866
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 5: my brother can be loud and has a bit of

867
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 5: a commanding presence. He's one of those people in a

868
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 5: room that tend to gravitate to. Also, he and I

869
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 5: are more outdoorsy's type. We've done hiking, swimming, and dancing together.

870
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 5: Mom forced him to go because I wanted to, then

871
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 5: forced me to go to karate for a while with him.

872
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 5: I dropped out quick though, but we did continue dancing

873
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,240
Speaker 5: and sewing for a long long time and both actually

874
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 5: made a number of good friends through those activities. My

875
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 5: boyfriend is always up for trying stuff once, but generally

876
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 5: he's a stay at home, loves the indoors, tends to

877
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 5: garden type, and he's an old soul I suppose. I

878
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,320
Speaker 5: don't know if that's relevant. I think that kind of

879
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 5: shows what kind of relationship you have. You can have opposites, Yeah,

880
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 5: this amount of opposites outdoorsy's and gardening.

881
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard. You don't have to be with like

882
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 4: a clone of yourself in a relationship. But it's like,

883
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 4: if you fundamentally are like an I like to go outdoors,

884
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 4: I like to be outside, I like to go do things,

885
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 4: and you have someone else who's like the exact opposite

886
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 4: of that, it's gonna be hard to find cohesion.

887
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 5: We got an update of date so this press Friday,

888
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 5: how to talk with my significant other about his feelings

889
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 5: regarding my relationship with my twin. At first it was

890
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 5: the same, I just don't feel comfortable, et cetera. But

891
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 5: after pushing for a very frustrating two hours, he ends

892
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 5: up talking about how in the home he grew up in,

893
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 5: it was very reserve. Okay, affection was sparing, the equivalent

894
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 5: of getting a present for doing well on exams, etc.

895
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 5: It was used as a reward He admits that as

896
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 5: a result, he sees siblings who are close, especially as

897
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 5: close as my brother and I, as being inappropriate and

898
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 5: it makes him feel uncomfortable. He says he's sorry for

899
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 5: this and he'll try to change anyways. Fast forward to

900
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 5: Saturday evening. My brother and I and a few of

901
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 5: our old friends are in the area, so they invite me,

902
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 5: my saying another and a couple of our friends out.

903
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 5: We ended up hitting this Latin bar restaurant with about

904
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 5: three couples, two single girls and three single guys. My

905
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 5: brother and I and another two. One of the single

906
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 5: gals who we met Latin dancing a few years back,

907
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 5: decided we'll dance since their music playing and a few

908
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 5: other people dancing. It's no dancing with the stars kind

909
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 5: of stuff. By the way, these are all people who

910
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 5: have been drinking and just having a merry time, and

911
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 5: those who aren't dancing earlier watching and having fun as well.

912
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 5: So my brother and I dance for a bit. We

913
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 5: stumble here and due to some liquor a couple of

914
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 5: times it looked is the word I suppose, but nothing inappropriate.

915
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 5: If any of you have done Latin dancing, you know

916
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 5: there's just something sensual and free about those dances in general,

917
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 5: whether you're with a partner or just doing a little

918
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 5: something by yourself, though generally you are with a partner anyway.

919
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 5: I dance with a few people, including my other female

920
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 5: friends and their boyfriends, who don't really know how, but

921
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 5: we all have a blast with me trying and failing

922
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 5: to teach their wasted butts how to cha cha and salsa.

923
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 5: I also pulled my boyfriend for a dance, but he

924
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 5: remained planted by the bar area, drinking and generally staying

925
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 5: stony faced. We get back to his place, I'm in

926
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 5: the mood to fool around. He's angry and starts yelling

927
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 5: about how we talked yesterday and he thought this effing

928
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,760
Speaker 5: crap exact words, was over. Oh like the flirtation vibes,

929
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 5: stuff like that. I'm gonna just be real. I don't

930
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 5: think your boyfriend knows how to handle a very self

931
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 5: confident woman.

932
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think he knows how to handle the

933
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 4: concept of like competition. No, he's getting it all wrapped up.

934
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 4: He's like he's competing with the brother, which is that's

935
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 4: not the same dude.

936
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 5: Hear me out b Josh Allen with Haley Seinfeld Steinfeld

937
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 5: with A T. Steinfeld because they were on set together

938
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 5: with Michael B. Jordan and Josh Allen. He's like, I

939
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 5: don't care. I got Haley at the end of the night.

940
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 5: I'm with Hailey, right, rather than being Ryan Reynolds with

941
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 5: Blake Lively. Because you saw what Ron Dinolds did it

942
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 5: to John. Do you not know about that? The whole

943
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 5: Ryan Reynolds fiasco.

944
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 4: I know there was something with like a director. No,

945
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 4: it was with an actor with Blake Lively.

946
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 5: No, no, no, it was another actor because Ryan Reynolds got jealous. Anyways,

947
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 5: Ryan Reynolds was a jealous shot b Josh Allen. That's

948
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 5: all I gotta say.

949
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 4: You're really put me in a tough spot because I

950
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 4: can't stand for slander for either of those guys. But

951
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 4: you did talk up Josh Allen, so I'm just gonna

952
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 4: take that as a w Okay. I love Ryan Reynolds

953
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 4: and Ryan Gosling.

954
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 5: After you see what happened, it's like you did dived

955
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 5: eve into it. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. I'm

956
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,760
Speaker 5: just not gonna see all right. Anyways, he is quite

957
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 5: pissed and starts ranting if you want to f your

958
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 5: brother so bad, go ahead, and is basically telling me

959
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 5: that he knows I love my brother, that I always

960
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 5: effing put that a hole. Exact words. First, I'm done,

961
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 5: I'm out.

962
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, I've been done, honestly, Like clearly. It's a

963
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 4: product of the environment he grew up in. However, that's

964
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 4: not an excuse to just be like unaware of like

965
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 4: positive family dynamics. And it's just really really really intense insecurity,

966
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 4: That's what I'm getting. Yeah, very intense insecurity.

967
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 5: I agree with that.

968
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 4: She means you can't be in a relationship.

969
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 5: You're gonna have to get over this. Call everyone that

970
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 5: you just want dancing with and be like, help me

971
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 5: move out. If you're living with this man, oh, I

972
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 5: hope not. He says he would never do something like

973
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 5: that with a sister in front of me or other

974
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 5: people dancing. At a point, he shoved me away from

975
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 5: him really hard. When I tried to put my hands

976
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 5: on him and calm him down. I got effing pissed off.

977
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 4: I go to leave.

978
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 5: He grabs me and is yelling. At a point I

979
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 5: start crying, and he seems to snap out of it

980
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 5: and gets this shocked look and starts saying I'm sorry,

981
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 5: and I and to hug me, etc. He's apologizing profusely,

982
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 5: but now I storm out naturally. I go back to

983
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 5: my place and I call yes, my twin brother, as

984
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 5: well as one of my friends, a girl. The three

985
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 5: of us proceed to get wasted together. Woke up on

986
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 5: my bed next to my friend and my brother snoozing

987
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 5: on my couch. Sunday boyfriend come over to try and

988
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 5: explain apologize. I told him I don't want to see him.

989
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 5: He pushes into my apartment jail. My brother gets in

990
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 5: his face and tells him to f off and now

991
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 5: to come near me again, while his other friend, who

992
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 5: came over along with his girlfriend is there too. At

993
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 5: this point, it's me, my best female friend, my brother,

994
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 5: brother's friend, brother's friend's friend's girlfriend, and ex boyfriend. And

995
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 5: the only reason he's not getting his beat is because

996
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 5: I asked him not to do so. I tell him

997
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 5: it's done and not to contact me or come near

998
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 5: me again. And guys, you can come near me and

999
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 5: us whenever you want. All you gotta do is after

1000
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 5: the story, go to your favorite podcast platform, iHeartRadio, Spotify, wherever,

1001
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 5: and come on over and type it. Okay, storytime you

1002
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 5: heard it? Come on, there's so many stories. But yeah,

1003
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 5: that turned really quick.

1004
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 4: Well, that guy's lucky he did not end up, you know,

1005
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 4: eating food through a straw.

1006
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 5: I saw Boondock's Saints.

1007
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 4: The movie we have with Norman Ritis. I watched the

1008
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 4: last night.

1009
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 5: I'm surprised he didn't get like a toilet hit him

1010
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 5: in the back of the header that scene.

1011
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 4: I have to say it, I haven't seen boondock Saints.

1012
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 4: I just know who's in it, and I've been exposed

1013
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 4: as one who doesn't know movies. But yeah, no, it's

1014
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 4: the being like, get off me, the hard shoving getting

1015
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 4: into the apartment again. Lucky you're not eating through a

1016
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 4: straw right now. However, not condoning that, I'm just saying,

1017
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 4: when you get aggressive with someone's twin sister right in

1018
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 4: front of their face, you're lucky that they're not getting

1019
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 4: into a physical altercation with you. And it seems to

1020
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 4: be just because Op was like, let's not do that.

1021
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 4: That would just make everything worse. Probably, Oh yeah, yeah,

1022
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 4: this guy's nowhere near ready to be in a relationship

1023
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 4: if he thinks Latin dancing between siblings is inappropriate, massive insecurity,

1024
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 4: and hopefully he can work on that and find a

1025
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 4: partner he likes, and op will find someone who's not

1026
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,280
Speaker 4: so aggressively insecure. Yeah.

1027
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 5: Also, a part of me has to admit I dance

1028
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 5: with my brother simply to get a rise out of

1029
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 5: my boyfriend due to how much crap he'd been giving

1030
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 5: me over it. Did not know he would lose it

1031
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 5: like that. It is what it is.

1032
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 4: Oh.

1033
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 5: He come back and edits the update afterwards in the

1034
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 5: comments section. Yes, I danced with my brother partially to

1035
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 5: get a rise out of my boyfriend. I've been so

1036
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 5: fed up of him and the crap he's been giving

1037
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 5: me that honestly, I wanted to annoy him a little.

1038
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 5: So to the people judging me for that, don't act

1039
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 5: so high a mighty as though you've never had a

1040
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 5: moment where you have been one hundred percent an angel

1041
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 5: who just rolled over and took verbal and unjustified nagging

1042
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 5: and questioning from your significant other. To the people who

1043
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 5: implied I deserved him roughing me up, thank you. This

1044
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 5: says far more about your character than it does mine.

1045
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 5: I had no idea he'd lose his crap. I hope

1046
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 5: so by coming out with us, he'd see that it

1047
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 5: was just two people interacting and there was nothing strange

1048
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 5: about hanging out such being close with your sibling and

1049
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 5: doing fun activities together. I don't even know why I

1050
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 5: thought getting him to calm was a good idea looking back, Yeah.

1051
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 4: I've seen some comments. First of all, the fact that

1052
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 4: she did that to get a rise of her boyfriend

1053
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:19,879
Speaker 4: is kind of a little bit of a yellow flag,

1054
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 4: little red flag there, because it's like, well, you're feeding

1055
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 4: into it. I mean, at the same time, it's like

1056
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 4: your boyfriend shouldn't be so malagested that he can't handle

1057
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 4: you dancing with your brother. And I see some comments

1058
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 4: being like Latin dancing is like too hot for siblings

1059
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 4: when you're Latin. That's just dancing, Yes, Like it's not

1060
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 4: really I think in like America, you know, like white

1061
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,720
Speaker 4: Caucasian like culture, Like if you like look at Latin dancing.

1062
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 4: Of course, there's certain ways that you would dance even

1063
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 4: if you were Latin, that you would not do with

1064
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 4: your siblings.

1065
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 3: It's partner dancing.

1066
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 4: I'm sure they weren't doing that. You know, it's not

1067
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 4: a line dance.

1068
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,359
Speaker 5: If you're not comfortable with that you're just gonna move

1069
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 5: on and be like, Hey, I'm just not comfortable with

1070
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:55,720
Speaker 5: someone being that close.

1071
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 4: I refuse to give my bed to my pregnant steps

1072
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 4: Now my whole family's mad at me.

1073
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 5: Well, maybe she shouldn't have got pregnant in the first place.

1074
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 4: Don't know if that's the take of March tenth, twenty

1075
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 4: twenty five. I twenty six, mail rent a small two

1076
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 4: bedroom apartment. I live alone, but I use the second

1077
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 4: bedroom as my office because I work from home full time.

1078
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 4: My older sister, Lily, thirty one, female, is six months

1079
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,399
Speaker 4: pregnant and soon to be a single mother. By the way,

1080
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 4: this comes from user Silence Fiction and if you want

1081
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

1082
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 4: Okay story time. So I bredd it. She has some

1083
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 4: issues with her apartment, in a disagreement with her landlord,

1084
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 4: and in the process of moving out, so she asked

1085
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 4: if she could stay with me for a few weeks.

1086
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 4: Of course, I said yes, and that I would be

1087
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 4: happy to accommodate her for as long as she needs.

1088
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 4: She moved in last weekend, and the first thing she

1089
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 4: did when settling in was pointing towards my bed and

1090
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:52,760
Speaker 4: saying I'll take this one. I laughed, thinking she was joking.

1091
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 2: Ha ha.

1092
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 4: Imagine they did hit the joker laugh like that. Only

1093
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 4: later in the evening, when I asked her if she

1094
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 4: needs anything else before going to bed, did she mention

1095
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,319
Speaker 4: that she was not joking about wanting to sleep in

1096
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 4: my bed. Now, I'm a little bit of a germophobe,

1097
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 4: and I am quite uncomfortable with the idea of other

1098
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 4: people sleeping in my bed. I told her that I

1099
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 4: am uncomfortable letting anyone else sleep in my bed, but

1100
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 4: I will gladly set her up with my guest bed,

1101
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 4: which I did use to sleep on before buying my

1102
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 4: current bed, and I know for a fact is very

1103
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 4: comfortable and spacious.

1104
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 5: How are we feeling right now? I you wanted that bed,

1105
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 5: Sorry it's taken. Here's another bed sold.

1106
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 4: So then she started guilt tripping me, saying that since

1107
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 4: she got pregnant and she's having problems falling asleep, that

1108
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 4: she needs the bigger, more comfortable bed. I stood my

1109
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 4: ground and told her I was happy to accommodate her,

1110
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 4: but I wasn't giving up my bedroom. She sulked, but

1111
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 4: she took the guest bed that lasted exactly two nights

1112
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 4: before she started complaining that the bed was too stiff

1113
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 4: and that she couldn't sleep. I offered to buy a

1114
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 4: new mattress topper, but she refused. Instead, she tried to

1115
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 4: pull that you're my brother, you should want to make

1116
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,240
Speaker 4: me comfortable guilt trip again. I told her that she's

1117
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 4: lucky I can even take her in since I worked

1118
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,720
Speaker 4: ten hours a day from home and I do value

1119
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 4: having a work environment that's private, calm, and quiet. She

1120
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,280
Speaker 4: called me selfish and accused me of not caring about

1121
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 4: her or her baby. I told her she could take

1122
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 4: the couch if the guest bed was that unbearable. Well,

1123
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 4: she did, but exactly for one night before turning into

1124
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 4: an absolute menace. In the second night on the couch,

1125
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,879
Speaker 4: she made sure to sigh loudly all night, accidentally bump

1126
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 4: into things, and complain the next morning how horrible I

1127
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 4: was making her feel. The following day, she kept making

1128
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,240
Speaker 4: calls and talking loudly on the phone while I was working.

1129
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 4: I didn't pay attention to the actual calls and what

1130
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 4: she was saying, but later it became very clear. In

1131
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,919
Speaker 4: the evening, I started getting phone calls from most if

1132
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 4: not all of my family members. Apparently she was ranting

1133
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 4: all day on the phone to my family about how

1134
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 4: rude and how horrible I was, saying I was trying

1135
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 4: to make her feel bad and trying to get my

1136
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 4: family to put pressure on me just to let her

1137
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 4: sleep in my bed, like she's on a mission or something.

1138
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 5: Hey, Uncle Steve, could you send me your email? Oh, hey,

1139
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 5: Aunt Kate, could you send me your email? Get an

1140
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 5: email list?

1141
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 4: Hello.

1142
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 5: Everyone just wanted to take ahead of some rumors that

1143
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 5: are going around. So this is what happened. This is

1144
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,919
Speaker 5: what I did. If you would like to donate for

1145
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 5: my sister to get a better mattress, donate here, get

1146
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 5: her another mattress. If everyone's gonna be complaining to you,

1147
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 5: then they should step up and do something You've already

1148
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:19,280
Speaker 5: did a lot.

1149
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 4: Right as soon as he was like I'll buy you

1150
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 4: and whatever you need to make this other bad comfortable

1151
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 4: and she's like no, that's when I was like, all right, now,

1152
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 4: everyone kind of sucks in the story. If I was

1153
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 4: the pregnant sister, right, and I'm six months pregnant, like

1154
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 4: I'm in a dispute with my landlord, I don't have

1155
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 4: anywhere else, so I'm leaning on my brother, and my

1156
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 4: brother goes, you're even lucky that I let you in.

1157
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 4: Because I value peace and tranquility in my working environment.

1158
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,320
Speaker 4: I'd be like, I'm gonna leave. I don't want to

1159
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 4: stay where I'm not wanted, dude, and saying that, get

1160
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 4: over yourself, bro, what are you doing? I think he

1161
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 4: said that in regards. She's like, you're not making me

1162
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 4: feel comfortable. You're not giving me the.

1163
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 5: Better I want. You're not giving me what I want.

1164
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 5: I understand that she's pregnant, she does deserve to be comfortable.

1165
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 5: But Op took her in, gave her a comfortable bed

1166
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,240
Speaker 5: that he used to sleep in. I think the sister's

1167
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 5: being a little overreacted.

1168
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 4: My mom took her side and tore me a new

1169
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 4: one on the phone, saying, Lily is carrying a child

1170
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 4: and I'm being inconsiderate. She also said I thought I

1171
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 4: taught you better hospitality than this. I am very disappointed.

1172
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 4: My aunt called to tell me that my uncle, her husband,

1173
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 4: used to sleep on the couch and sometimes on the

1174
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 4: floor next to her when she was pregnant. Even my cousin,

1175
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 4: who I haven't spoken to in like two years, called

1176
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 4: me to tell me I'm being selfish. I agree with

1177
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 4: all of them. I'm sorry.

1178
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 5: I think she's asking for a lie here. I know

1179
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 5: she doesn't have a lot of options, but you got

1180
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 5: a bed, Keov.

1181
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 3: What do you think I would have a genuine conversation

1182
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 3: with my sister and be like, hey, can you get

1183
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 3: your own bed? If you really need to get my bed,

1184
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 3: you can have it for like a week, but then

1185
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 3: get your own bed, like a couple of days, not

1186
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 3: like right off the bed. I'll give a bed for

1187
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 3: maybe like a couple of days, and like, hey, you

1188
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 3: got pregnant, how about to have your partner by you

1189
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 3: better bed. It's not my job to take care of you. Like, yes,

1190
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 3: I'll take care of you, but it's not my job.

1191
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 3: I'm not the father of your child.

1192
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 4: Well, I don't think he's taking care of her. This

1193
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 4: is another Icewan situation. So my father is taking my side,

1194
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 4: telling me to ignore them, and that my sister is

1195
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 4: an f up that she got in that situation in

1196
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 4: the first place. Again, like, I feel like there's so

1197
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 4: lot of layers as to why they're interacting this way.

1198
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 4: She's gonna be a single parent. She probably's not in

1199
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 4: touch with the father, so there's probably a lot of

1200
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 4: shame being directed at her from Opie and the dad.

1201
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 4: You know, I don't know there's a lot going on here.

1202
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 4: It would just be so chill. I'd be like, yeah,

1203
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 4: I guess sleep in the bed, pregnant sister. You're not

1204
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 4: gonna be here for ever. You're gonna be here temporarily regardless.

1205
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 5: What about when the baby's born.

1206
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 4: She's not living here where the baby's born. I'm not

1207
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 4: taking care of your baby. That's not on the agenda.

1208
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 4: I'm not becoming the father of the child. But I

1209
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 4: feel like my mom is giving him a super hard

1210
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 4: time in the background, because he did sound kind of

1211
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 4: hesitant when I asked him to have my back. Honestly,

1212
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 4: I'm just feeling like I'm in the middle of a

1213
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,799
Speaker 4: soap opera drama. My mom is threatening to come take

1214
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 4: Lily home. Yeah, like that's much of a threat, haha.

1215
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 4: But she's giving me such a hard time and telling

1216
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 4: me I disappointed her and that she raised me better.

1217
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 4: I don't know how to feel about this anymore. Don't

1218
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 4: feel anything about it. Let your mom take care of her.

1219
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for not letting my pregnant

1220
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 4: sister sleep in my bed. Ohp he was voted not

1221
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 4: the a hole. Here are some top comments. That is

1222
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 4: a a whole statement. That's what's happening everyone, but OP

1223
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 4: sucks here.

1224
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,439
Speaker 3: All I have to say is it was your choice

1225
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 3: to get pregnant. If you are pregnant, great will help you,

1226
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 3: but you are not queen or king of the castle.

1227
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 3: You do not get all the accommodations. You can get

1228
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 3: some help, you know, but that is also up to

1229
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 3: your partner or whoever you know is helping you.

1230
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,799
Speaker 4: Come in embyer one, not the a whole. Tell your

1231
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 4: sister your mom has offered to let her stay, so

1232
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 4: please pack your bags. If the guest bed is uncomfortable.

1233
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 4: Everyone who has called, call them back and asked when

1234
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 4: they intended to pick your sister up and have her

1235
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 4: stay with them. Comment to get her out of your

1236
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 4: house asap. You're going to end up with her in

1237
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 4: your room, baby in the guest room, and you're gonna

1238
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 4: be sleeping on the couch. Check your lease and tendency laws.

1239
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 4: Do not let her use your address for her male. Seriously,

1240
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 4: get her out before she gives birth. Ship Her off

1241
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 4: to mom was that the plan the whole time, was

1242
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 4: the plan for her to just like live there forever.

1243
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,399
Speaker 4: Because if that's the plan, that's not happening. Comment three.

1244
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 4: I offered you a place to live, and you have

1245
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 4: returned that favor by turning a bunch of flying monkeys

1246
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,919
Speaker 4: on me, so you can steal my bed on top

1247
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 4: of the rest of my home. You are disrupting my

1248
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 4: work and my life. I expect you to be out tomorrow.

1249
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 4: Maybe one of your flying monkeys will take you in.

1250
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 4: Not the a hole. Comment four. Not the a hole,

1251
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,399
Speaker 4: And I would just say, oh, sure, that's a perfect plan.

1252
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 4: You can come tomorrow and pick her up and take

1253
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 4: her home. I'm sure she will be much more comfortable

1254
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 4: there than at my place. Why didn't you offer this before,

1255
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 4: knowing how small my place was and knowing that conflicts

1256
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 4: would happen. But yeah, go ahead, pick her up, because

1257
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 4: if she continues to disturb my work, well, I don't

1258
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:51,720
Speaker 4: know how long she can stay in this house. In general,

1259
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 4: I would like to answer a few common questions I

1260
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 4: saw in the comments. The guest bed is in the

1261
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 4: living room. It's stored in the second bedroom, which is

1262
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 4: is my office. But whenever I have a guest. I

1263
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 4: set it up in the living room. The living room

1264
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,720
Speaker 4: space is quite big and can comfortably fit the guest bed, couch,

1265
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 4: and living room table as well. My parents live a

1266
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 4: four and a half hour drive away, and they are

1267
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 4: the closest family members to my apartment. That is why

1268
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 4: I didn't initially think of suggesting anyone to come and

1269
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 4: pick Lily up to take her to their place. I

1270
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 4: in fact, did not get my sister pregnant. What the

1271
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 4: f guys. Lily is moving out of her current apartment

1272
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:31,919
Speaker 4: because it is being sold and the new owners aren't

1273
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 4: sure if they want to keep renting it. So the

1274
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 4: reason that she's getting kicked out isn't even her fault.

1275
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 4: It's not like she's like behind on rent. It's just

1276
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 4: the property is being sold out from underneath her and

1277
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 4: she is in the middle of it.

1278
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,479
Speaker 5: No sympathy for the single mother. Oh, your single mom,

1279
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:45,280
Speaker 5: you gotta.

1280
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 3: Get out of here.

1281
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 4: The new owners aren't sure if they want to keep

1282
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,879
Speaker 4: renting it or what to charge, so that's why she's

1283
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 4: moving out. Anyway. Here is the update. My mother made

1284
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 4: the drive over yesterday. She came in quite furious, barely

1285
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 4: said a word to me, and wanted to just take

1286
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 4: Lily and leave asap. She had that cold, disappointed look

1287
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 4: on her face, and it broke my heart. Honestly, I

1288
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 4: told them, Lily and my mother that I wanted to

1289
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 4: talk and explain my side of the story. I would

1290
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,760
Speaker 4: also like to hear this explanation. I told them both

1291
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 4: that I didn't want them to leave on bad terms.

1292
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 4: I sat them down in the living room and explained

1293
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 4: my side of things. I also decided to show them

1294
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 4: the original post, and it did help them calm down

1295
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 4: and made them second guess their opinions. Also, I did

1296
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 4: believe they were quite embarrassed, judging by the looks on

1297
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 4: their face when I showed them the post to see

1298
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:35,920
Speaker 4: everything written out like that, but they didn't dare to

1299
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 4: say a word about it. In the end, they both

1300
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 4: agreed that my apartment is my personal space and also

1301
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 4: my workplace, and they understood why it was difficult for

1302
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 4: me to give up my bed. It wasn't totally smooth, though.

1303
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 4: They still gave me a bit of a hard time,

1304
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 4: saying that while they do understand my side now, I

1305
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 4: still could have been the bigger person and just let

1306
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 4: Lily sleep in my bed at least they did drop

1307
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 4: the whole your selfish act. As for the rest of

1308
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 4: the family, I demanded that my sister called each and

1309
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 4: every one of them to let them know my side

1310
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 4: and calm them down. Lily was reluctant at first, but

1311
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 4: my mother gave her the look and eventually she came

1312
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 4: around and told me she'd do it. On the drive

1313
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 4: back to my parents. I was honestly surprised she agreed.

1314
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 4: My aunt even called me today to apologize, and that

1315
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 4: was definitely unexpected and very satisfying. Lily is now staying

1316
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 4: with my parents, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if

1317
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 4: I get news in a few weeks with them ranting

1318
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 4: about her being entitled in their house. Can't wait to

1319
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 4: see how they'll handle that one. Hopefully this is the

1320
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 4: last time I'll have to deal with this. Lily still

1321
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 4: needs to move her stuff from her old apartment, which

1322
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 4: is a thirty minute drive for me, so I know

1323
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 4: she's going to ask for my help, not that I

1324
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 4: would mind. I'd be happy to help her, but I'm

1325
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 4: worried she might want to come stay at my place again,

1326
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 4: or use my place to store some of her stuff,

1327
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 4: which you don't need to allow.

1328
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 5: Hey, girls, storage unit down the road. We could set

1329
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:56,360
Speaker 5: you up with that.

1330
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, Or it's like, why don't we take this

1331
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 4: stuff that you want to store here and store at

1332
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 4: the place that you're going to stay at. And by

1333
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 4: the way, you can stay listening to full episodes with

1334
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:09,479
Speaker 4: stories just like this on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple

1335
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:11,959
Speaker 4: podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts. Just search Okay story

1336
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 4: Time and there's fifty three days worth of stories for

1337
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 4: you to listen to, over two thousand episodes over twelve

1338
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 4: hundred and seventy hours. Wow, there is a little bit

1339
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 4: more story here. I like where we're at. Do you

1340
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 4: have any closing thoughts on the situation?

1341
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 5: Nah, we know where I'm just glad the parents stepped

1342
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 5: up and helpedfuly.

1343
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, that seemed like maybe it should have been the

1344
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 4: solution from the very beginning, especially because if op really

1345
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 4: does have actual, you know, germaphobia, because some people are like,

1346
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 4: I'm a germophobe and then they'll just go like, oh,

1347
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 4: you don't have germophobia. So if he really is germophobe,

1348
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 4: and she really did say like I need your bed

1349
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 4: and I refuse to hear anything else you have to say,

1350
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 4: It's like, op, He's not being the angle there. However,

1351
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 4: the lack of sympathy for a pregnant sibling is very

1352
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 4: startling to me. Let's finish this story. Also, she might

1353
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 4: bring this whole thing up again and I couldn't be

1354
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 4: asked to deal with it once again. That's a problem

1355
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 4: for another day, though hopefully not ha ha ha ha.

1356
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 4: So in the end, I believe it turned out the

1357
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 4: best way possible and I have you guys to thank

1358
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 4: for that. And we have some top comments here. Number one,

1359
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:19,960
Speaker 4: So naturally your sister will be sleeping in your parents' bed, right,

1360
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 4: you know, since mom doesn't think it's a big deal. Okay,

1361
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 4: all kidding aside, you handled this perfectly. You were not

1362
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 4: the a hole then and you're still not the a hole.

1363
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 4: Comment to amazing how busy work is going to be

1364
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 4: for the foreseeable future and all the tight deadlines you have,

1365
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:35,520
Speaker 4: and get a coworker to back you up. But you

1366
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 4: can ask if anyone knows a good moving company or

1367
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 4: just dodge your calls, and after she's moved, tell her

1368
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 4: you needed a break from her after all the drama

1369
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 4: she caused you warn your dad you're going to do

1370
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 4: this so he can get ready to handle it on

1371
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 4: his end. Most importantly, remember you don't owe her a

1372
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 4: thing right now. The way she treated you isn't how

1373
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 4: you treat family you value when they're doing you a favor.

1374
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 4: And also, what kind of idiot moves out but doesn't

1375
01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 4: move their stuff talk about a preventable problem. Also check

1376
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 4: your lease for any limits on how long guests can stay.

1377
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 4: Comment three still not the ahole. I'm so glad you

1378
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 4: spoke to them and got the story straight. They sound

1379
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 4: like they think you're still in the wrong. I honestly

1380
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 4: would take a big step back from Lily and anyone

1381
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 4: who was disrespectful to you. Don't help Lily move. Don't

1382
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 4: help your six months pregnant sister move. She needs to

1383
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 4: figure it out on her own. You were nice enough

1384
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 4: to her, and she tried to take advantage of you. See,

1385
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 4: this kind of stuff is just like stop it. It

1386
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 4: was a moment in time. Now we can move forward.

1387
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 4: You don't have to hold onto this grudge that she

1388
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 4: was annoying in your house forever. If your pregnant sister

1389
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 4: needs help moving her stuff and you want to help her,

1390
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 4: you can There's no need to become vindictive over this

1391
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,800
Speaker 4: in my opinion. Yeah, hey, you know you can't have

1392
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 4: everybody agree with you all the time.

1393
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 2: If I had a.

1394
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,880
Speaker 4: Six month pregnant sister, I'd help her move. I don't

1395
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 4: care if she's annoying.

1396
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 5: Seems like a lot. But you know that story.

1397
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:57,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the end of that story.

1398
01:01:58,880 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

1399
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to these stories.

1400
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of bad from our sponsors that

1401
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1402
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 5: My father accused me of being involved in my mother's affair.

1403
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 5: I lost all sympathy involved in what way?

1404
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 4: My guy I.

1405
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 5: Nineteen mail have had a strong, yet loose relationship with

1406
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 5: my parents for the past five to six years. At

1407
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 5: that point, my father forty mail started using my brother

1408
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 5: and me as therapist, telling us about all the bad

1409
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 5: things that had happened in the past. Whenever these conversations

1410
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 5: would come up, I would make an effort to show

1411
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 5: I was listening so my brothers could put their headphones

1412
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 5: on and not have to hear it. By the way,

1413
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 5: this comes from Golden Angle, and if you want to

1414
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to our okay story I'm

1415
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 5: subredded let me be absolutely clear with this. Given their content,

1416
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 5: those conversations where not the kind a father should have

1417
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 5: with his sons at such a young age. To make

1418
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 5: things worse, he would tell us these stories on the

1419
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 5: car rides from school, where we couldn't exactly leave the conversation.

1420
01:02:57,480 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 4: Oh, I hate captive conversation.

1421
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 5: My mom would do this to my brother every single day.

1422
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 5: When he wasn't telling us about his past, he was

1423
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 5: constantly showing us every bit of bad news the internet

1424
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 5: had to offer. Oh, insert company we eat at weekly

1425
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 5: has more than shady dealings, or this government agency is

1426
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 5: doing horrible stuff in that country. It might not seem

1427
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 5: like much, but this was every day he did this that.

1428
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 5: What's weird is that this wasn't a building habit. He

1429
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 5: just started one day. Whenever we tried to tell him

1430
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 5: to stop, he either started back off the next day

1431
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 5: or he get offensive with us. I'm not exactly sure

1432
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 5: how to explain that. To be honest with you, all

1433
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 5: those of you who had to deal with people like

1434
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 5: that will understand what I mean. As someone who can

1435
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 5: be annoying, this guy sounds like annoying, super annoying. A

1436
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 5: few months ago I reached out to my grandfather regarding

1437
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 5: my mental health, wanting someone's opinion on whether or not

1438
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 5: I should get a therapist. He gave me a non

1439
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 5: committal answer, which was fair enough. The next day, my

1440
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,600
Speaker 5: father pulled me aside to talk. I asked if this

1441
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 5: was about my chat with my grandfather. It wasn't. After

1442
01:04:02,920 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 5: he asked me to elaborate, I told him about what

1443
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,640
Speaker 5: I thought was the main issue with my mental health.

1444
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 5: A regular user I've found harder to shake. Once I

1445
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:15,640
Speaker 5: realized what it was. His response to me opening up

1446
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 5: to him was to say, that's it for one helping

1447
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 5: me with his own recent trauma. I wouldn't have minded

1448
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 5: so much if this wasn't the one time I had

1449
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,919
Speaker 5: wanted him to hear me out after years of being

1450
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 5: forced to listen to him.

1451
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 4: Vent.

1452
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 5: Then there's my mom, and I'll be honest, there's not

1453
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:34,000
Speaker 5: much to say here. I love her and she's done

1454
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 5: nothing against me or my brothers. In the end, she

1455
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 5: was the best parents she could have been given the

1456
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 5: cards in her hand. The only reason I'd call my

1457
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 5: relationship with her loose is because if I go no

1458
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 5: contact with my father, I'd cut her out as well,

1459
01:04:48,080 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 5: and not force her to be to pick a side

1460
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 5: onto the current situation. A few days ago, my father

1461
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 5: pulled me aside to talk about something. Usually when he

1462
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 5: does this, he needs the vent and I mentally prepare

1463
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 5: myself as such. I was not prepared for him to

1464
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 5: ask me if I thought my mom was cheating on him.

1465
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 5: Here's where I stay that not only do I still

1466
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 5: live with them, but I also work in the same

1467
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 5: place that she does, and I'm with her barely thirty

1468
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 5: feet away nine hours from Monday to Thursdays. I work

1469
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 5: four hours on Fridays. On top of that, she rarely

1470
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 5: leaves home, only going out to lunch with her sister

1471
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 5: and mom, or when she decides to go get groceries,

1472
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 5: always being back within a reasonable time for him. There

1473
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 5: is no time for her to even try anything. If

1474
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 5: you're gonna ask someone, it's gonna be Op. And guess

1475
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 5: what Op's answer was. I simply said no because there

1476
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 5: was no other answer. I couldn't think of anything. I

1477
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 5: later learned he suspected me as the being in on it.

1478
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 4: How old is OP right now? How are you gonna

1479
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:51,000
Speaker 4: ask your own kid if his mom is cheating on

1480
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 4: his dad? I'm all for being like did you hear

1481
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 4: this weird thing that like this company did. Like oh,

1482
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 4: but like once you're like, hey, is your mom cheating

1483
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 4: on me with someone in the office, It's like, dude,

1484
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 4: back all the way up, that's not something you do.

1485
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:07,640
Speaker 5: I think what happened was the dad got hooked on

1486
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 5: some kind of news, Like he started watching like either

1487
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:12,680
Speaker 5: Fox News scene in news. I don't like the news

1488
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 5: because they always dramatize everything. I mean, not gonna lie.

1489
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 5: We need drumasize everything. We gotta get you hooked in.

1490
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:19,760
Speaker 5: We read drama, Yeah, we read drama. We gotta get

1491
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 5: you hooked in. And news platforms do that. That's why

1492
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:25,720
Speaker 5: I read journalism because like their rules are like it

1493
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 5: has to be this certain way. It's not very clickbaity.

1494
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,560
Speaker 5: But I think he just started going into it, started

1495
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 5: watching this news, and then just kind of turned into

1496
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 5: this person.

1497
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 4: Bottom line is, if you're not careful, you'll let other

1498
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:37,720
Speaker 4: people do your thinking for you.

1499
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:41,840
Speaker 5: There we freaking go. I wouldn't know this until yesterday

1500
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 5: when my youngest brother, sixteen, told my mom when we

1501
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 5: got home. Still I had no clue what to do

1502
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 5: with this knowledge. I did not and still do not

1503
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 5: want to be anywhere near this situation at all. I

1504
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 5: didn't know if I should tell my mother. Given his

1505
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:58,760
Speaker 5: personality and his current mental state, I knew the situation

1506
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 5: would likely get out of him very quickly if she'd

1507
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 5: push him on it. So with no idea what to do,

1508
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:07,080
Speaker 5: I decided to sit and wait for when we would

1509
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 5: come home that Monday yesterday. When we got home, I

1510
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:13,200
Speaker 5: would say with the fact that my father had spent

1511
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:16,720
Speaker 5: that morning talking to my brothers about the situation, showing

1512
01:07:16,760 --> 01:07:20,480
Speaker 5: them his proof, which I'll go into later, and telling

1513
01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 5: them over and over that she had already admitted to it.

1514
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 5: According to my youngest brother, when they tried talking rationally

1515
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 5: with him, he would just say, see it through my perspective,

1516
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 5: or listen to me with an open heart. What about

1517
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 5: we listened to you with the critical mind, with some

1518
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 5: critical thinking.

1519
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:39,720
Speaker 4: I'd be like, Dad, I'm not gonna listen to you

1520
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 4: talk about how mom's cheating on You go talk about

1521
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:46,240
Speaker 4: that with anyone else on earth besides your sixteen year

1522
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,080
Speaker 4: old son. How about you go talk about it with her, yeah,

1523
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:52,440
Speaker 4: or like your buddies, or like a therapist, or like

1524
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 4: h R at work, or like literally any single living being.

1525
01:07:56,320 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 4: On earth, anyone beside your sons, anyone besides the people

1526
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:04,320
Speaker 4: were the most emotionally invested and sensitive in regards to

1527
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 4: the situation.

1528
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:07,440
Speaker 5: And he's lying about it too. He's like, surely admitted

1529
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 5: to it, so just.

1530
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 4: Tell me crazy.

1531
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,640
Speaker 5: I have no idea how long he spent with my

1532
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:16,000
Speaker 5: brothers on Monday talking about it, but he didn't convince them.

1533
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,760
Speaker 5: A few hours later, I chose to take a jog

1534
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 5: while the rain was light. It had been pouring all day,

1535
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:22,680
Speaker 5: and I took the chance when I saw it. When

1536
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,879
Speaker 5: I left, I passed my parents talking in the carport.

1537
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 5: When I came back, I saw my dad was alone.

1538
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:30,880
Speaker 5: He pulled me aside before I could get inside. This

1539
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,799
Speaker 5: is when he showed me his proof. His physical evidence

1540
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 5: was text between the two of them, While most of

1541
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 5: them were long walls of texts which she made me

1542
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:42,600
Speaker 5: read word for word. I do remember one particular exchange

1543
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 5: of two messages. He said, please just leave it at work.

1544
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:50,439
Speaker 5: That's where it all began. She simply reapplied with okay.

1545
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 5: From his perspective, this was her admitting to cheating. This

1546
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:57,240
Speaker 5: was also when I learned he thought she was cheating

1547
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 5: with my boss, whose wife works ten feet away from

1548
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 5: my mom in the same department. This guy has zero

1549
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:03,360
Speaker 5: critical thinking.

1550
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,120
Speaker 4: This guy's like, hey, all this stuff happened at work,

1551
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:06,840
Speaker 4: so just leave it there.

1552
01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 5: She's like okay, And as the wife, she probably gets

1553
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 5: hit with his like wall of information all the time.

1554
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 5: She's just like, okay, let me just get out of

1555
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 5: this conversation because if I don't say anything, he's thinking

1556
01:09:19,160 --> 01:09:21,599
Speaker 5: I'm ignoring them. So I'm just gonna give him a response.

1557
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:25,360
Speaker 4: He's doing classic confirmation bias. He's like that okay, was

1558
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:28,559
Speaker 4: not okay. I'll only cheat on you at the office.

1559
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:31,519
Speaker 4: It was okay. I hope we never have a discussion

1560
01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:32,599
Speaker 4: like this ever again.

1561
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:36,439
Speaker 5: This would drain me. This type of person cannot be around.

1562
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:40,360
Speaker 5: You will lose Riley and just a body with no

1563
01:09:40,479 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 5: soul and it would be sitting there.

1564
01:09:41,880 --> 01:09:44,120
Speaker 4: I'm sure like the lack of trust right now. Maybe

1565
01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:45,960
Speaker 4: it's something to do with like all the conspiracies or

1566
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,840
Speaker 4: like all the news and I how everything's bad. So

1567
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:50,000
Speaker 4: it's like, now everything's bad, and that means my wife's

1568
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 4: gotta be cheating on me because I saw some you

1569
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:55,559
Speaker 4: know article about how like sixty percent of like.

1570
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,240
Speaker 5: Women cheat on their husbands with their work people. Dude

1571
01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 5: got clickbaited every day. From my mom's perspective, she thought

1572
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:05,720
Speaker 5: he was talking about negative emotions. She knew she'd been

1573
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 5: distant with him in recent times and figured that's what

1574
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:12,080
Speaker 5: he was talking about. The following texts followed in that pattern,

1575
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,839
Speaker 5: her saying that she'd be better, should do better, saying

1576
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:19,800
Speaker 5: that he deserved better in him. Taking this as her

1577
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:23,880
Speaker 5: admissions of guilt, keep in mind, she's never outrated, said

1578
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:26,840
Speaker 5: she was cheating, and as far as I saw, she's

1579
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,160
Speaker 5: never hinted at the topic to begin with. After this,

1580
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,360
Speaker 5: he said that when he picked her up last Friday,

1581
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:36,479
Speaker 5: she smelt like chemicals. Here's where I tell you that

1582
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:39,520
Speaker 5: certain areas of my workplace deals with a lot of chemicals.

1583
01:10:39,880 --> 01:10:42,639
Speaker 5: The most detail I can give about the actual nature

1584
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:45,439
Speaker 5: of our work is that we deal with small, plain parts.

1585
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,760
Speaker 5: In her position, my mom is in charge of the

1586
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:51,479
Speaker 5: inventory cage at work, where she's constantly at and where

1587
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 5: a good number of the chemicals are stored. On top

1588
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:58,200
Speaker 5: of that, she moves around the whole building getting paperwork

1589
01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:01,400
Speaker 5: and important info where it needs to be. So is

1590
01:11:01,439 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 5: he like good smelling chemicals or just chemicals in general?

1591
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,760
Speaker 5: You'd figure that at least one day out of the

1592
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:10,240
Speaker 5: four years she's worked that she'd get chemicals on her.

1593
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:13,040
Speaker 5: At that point, I completely checked out of the conversation

1594
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,679
Speaker 5: and noticed my mom leaving the house and going into

1595
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,760
Speaker 5: the woods on the back of our property. We live

1596
01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:22,799
Speaker 5: on my grandparents' land, with the majority of it being forced,

1597
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:25,960
Speaker 5: which we'd go through by on the regular. I nodded

1598
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,439
Speaker 5: at her as you passed by, trying to give my

1599
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:31,360
Speaker 5: father a hint that this was his chance to show

1600
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:34,160
Speaker 5: his proof with her present. He instead took it as

1601
01:11:34,160 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 5: a sign to keep going completely oblivious as he talked

1602
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:41,640
Speaker 5: about how she'd just walked back inside to sulk. Not

1603
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:43,559
Speaker 5: the exact words, but you get the idea.

1604
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:47,800
Speaker 4: This is just like way too much for kids. And look,

1605
01:11:47,960 --> 01:11:49,920
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to like have a little bit of

1606
01:11:50,360 --> 01:11:53,160
Speaker 4: sympathy for this guy who's clearly like gone to a

1607
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:56,280
Speaker 4: place where he can't trust literally anything. But it's like

1608
01:11:56,320 --> 01:11:58,680
Speaker 4: he cannot be talking about this with his kids. None

1609
01:11:58,720 --> 01:12:00,879
Speaker 4: of this is ironclad of anything.

1610
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:04,240
Speaker 5: No, like everything else, he's probably just seeing statistics out there.

1611
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:06,639
Speaker 5: I'm gonna base all my information off this. It's statistic

1612
01:12:06,680 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 5: that's probably not even real.

1613
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:09,800
Speaker 4: If I'm op and I'm like the oldest one. I'm like,

1614
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 4: I'm legitimately worried about you. You're behaving like unhinged. You

1615
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:15,599
Speaker 4: shouldn't be talking to my brothers about this. You shouldn't

1616
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 4: be talking to me about this. Go get a beer,

1617
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 4: Go to a therapist, go to the doctor, go talk

1618
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:21,800
Speaker 4: to anybody else beside your kids.

1619
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:24,960
Speaker 5: After he went inside a little later, I followed her

1620
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,639
Speaker 5: into the woods mostly make sure she wouldn't try anything.

1621
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,679
Speaker 5: That's when she told me that she was considering agreeing

1622
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:32,760
Speaker 5: with him, just to get over with it. You've said

1623
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:35,719
Speaker 5: it time and time before. Whenever cops like put someone

1624
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:39,720
Speaker 5: a suspect into like a scenario and they're interrogregating them,

1625
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,600
Speaker 5: they're like, did you murder this person? Did you like

1626
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 5: kill them? They just say yes so they can leave.

1627
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:46,759
Speaker 4: I don't think admitting that you cheated with your boss

1628
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:49,680
Speaker 4: when you didn't, when your husband's acting so unstable is

1629
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:51,559
Speaker 4: a good idea, because then it's probably gonna make its

1630
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:54,840
Speaker 4: way back to the workplace. It's like, this is rough.

1631
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,559
Speaker 5: It's crazy. I told her and no uncertain terms, that

1632
01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:00,519
Speaker 5: the idea was horrible. She agreed, saying that it would

1633
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:04,040
Speaker 5: just open another world of problems. When we got back home,

1634
01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:07,000
Speaker 5: I saw that my dad had driven off somewhere. Taking

1635
01:13:07,040 --> 01:13:09,360
Speaker 5: the chance, I left my mom as she went inside

1636
01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 5: and decided to call my aunt for some help. Who

1637
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:14,800
Speaker 5: I won't share family history, or it doesn't matter. I

1638
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:18,320
Speaker 5: can say that she's relatable and careful in situations like this,

1639
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:21,599
Speaker 5: to say the very least. After almost half an hour,

1640
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:24,160
Speaker 5: she agreed to take my mom to lunch this weekend,

1641
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 5: making sure to make a show of picking her up

1642
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:30,000
Speaker 5: so there wouldn't it be more fuel to my father's fire.

1643
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:33,760
Speaker 5: Now comes today, where I learned that the situation is

1644
01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:36,400
Speaker 5: on a slippery slope, and where I lost the last

1645
01:13:36,400 --> 01:13:38,800
Speaker 5: bit of simply I had for my father. On my

1646
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,360
Speaker 5: lunch break, he sent me a text In case you

1647
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 5: don't want to see it, It was instructions for me

1648
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,880
Speaker 5: to spy on my mom for him. Please note that

1649
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:49,599
Speaker 5: I had previously told him that I couldn't and wouldn't

1650
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:52,479
Speaker 5: do anything in the situation. I would need a hard

1651
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:55,640
Speaker 5: confession for me to act on, which leads me to

1652
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:58,479
Speaker 5: mother final part. My father picked her up from work

1653
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:01,439
Speaker 5: an hour and a half early. This was worrying because

1654
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:04,920
Speaker 5: I know how he argues if he can't use extreme

1655
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:08,679
Speaker 5: examples to make you look bad, he'll gaslight you. If

1656
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:11,800
Speaker 5: either option works, then he'll simply say you're right and

1657
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 5: storm off out of the area in a locked car.

1658
01:14:14,439 --> 01:14:16,840
Speaker 5: He is stuck with the first two options, and my

1659
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:19,800
Speaker 5: mom is forced to bear it. Something to note is

1660
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 5: that it is only twenty minutes away from my job

1661
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:24,800
Speaker 5: to my house. I offered to pick up dinner on

1662
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,439
Speaker 5: my way home and ask my youngest brother if our

1663
01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:30,800
Speaker 5: parents were home at four fifty seven pm. He said

1664
01:14:30,840 --> 01:14:33,880
Speaker 5: they got home. She left for work at three pm.

1665
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:37,360
Speaker 5: For nearly two hours, she was left at the mercy

1666
01:14:37,439 --> 01:14:40,680
Speaker 5: of his delusions. He is a physical person, but he

1667
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:44,240
Speaker 5: grew up with people who had that argumentative style and

1668
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:47,040
Speaker 5: he improved on it for the worse. With that said,

1669
01:14:47,280 --> 01:14:50,720
Speaker 5: if she simply says that she cheated, I won't believe it.

1670
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:53,840
Speaker 5: He's essentially trapped her with him for two hours with

1671
01:14:53,920 --> 01:14:57,280
Speaker 5: no third party, And although I can't prove anything, as

1672
01:14:57,360 --> 01:15:00,000
Speaker 5: I wasn't there, I think he spent that whole time

1673
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,559
Speaker 5: trying to verbally beat it out of her, whether or

1674
01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:05,600
Speaker 5: not they got home, because he's lost his patience or

1675
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:09,120
Speaker 5: because she admitted to it. And I don't yet know.

1676
01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:12,599
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I don't like people like this at all.

1677
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:15,840
Speaker 4: No, this is really not good. I'm op and dad

1678
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,200
Speaker 4: keeps doing this. I'm like, Dad, divorcer. If you can't

1679
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:20,280
Speaker 4: let this go, if this is something you're gonna feel

1680
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:22,599
Speaker 4: like as a thing forever, then divorce her. Start the proceedings,

1681
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:25,080
Speaker 4: all right, because I can't do this. My brothers can't

1682
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:27,600
Speaker 4: do this. She doesn't deserve this, and I guess you

1683
01:15:27,640 --> 01:15:30,479
Speaker 4: should go find someone you can trust. Stop talking to

1684
01:15:30,479 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 4: me about it. I feel real bad. I feel for

1685
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:33,400
Speaker 4: everybody in this story.

1686
01:15:33,479 --> 01:15:35,679
Speaker 5: This guy just needs to go away, and you should

1687
01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:38,800
Speaker 5: go away after this story, because we got plenty more

1688
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,759
Speaker 5: crazy stories just like this one. But your favorite podcast

1689
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:44,800
Speaker 5: platform search up Okay storytime and there we got it

1690
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,240
Speaker 5: just for you, guys. I've seen this happen in action

1691
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:49,599
Speaker 5: with friends of mine, and it's just like, why are

1692
01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:51,559
Speaker 5: you entertaining this? You deserve better.

1693
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:54,160
Speaker 4: I wouldn't tell the mom that, although the mom deserves

1694
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:56,080
Speaker 4: to not be with this guy, but I would say

1695
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:58,080
Speaker 4: that in an attempt to just like snap him out

1696
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,840
Speaker 4: of it, like just shut up, just hurting everybody. You're

1697
01:16:01,840 --> 01:16:06,120
Speaker 4: making everything worse and it's not even real it's not happening.

1698
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:06,960
Speaker 4: You need help.

1699
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:10,880
Speaker 5: Honestly, this whole situation is tearing the two of them

1700
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:13,360
Speaker 5: apart for different reasons because he can't get his head

1701
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,439
Speaker 5: out of his own butt. I listened to this man

1702
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:18,519
Speaker 5: for years explain to me the horrible things that have

1703
01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:21,599
Speaker 5: happened to him in his life, just for him to

1704
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:24,160
Speaker 5: toss my insecurities in the place of his own. I

1705
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:27,559
Speaker 5: have sat with him through every round of depression he's

1706
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,760
Speaker 5: had while he barely took note of mine, and now

1707
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:33,400
Speaker 5: he wants me to believe my own mother is cheating

1708
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:36,120
Speaker 5: on him with my boss. I know he's stuck and

1709
01:16:36,240 --> 01:16:38,280
Speaker 5: is thinking, and there's no way I can see to

1710
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,280
Speaker 5: get him out of it. I've been a voice of

1711
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:42,960
Speaker 5: reason for him in the past, but already know he's

1712
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:43,920
Speaker 5: not going to listen.

1713
01:16:44,360 --> 01:16:48,559
Speaker 4: Yais, dude, this is a level of paranoia. I can't

1714
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,639
Speaker 4: like slam dunk on him too hard because I feel

1715
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:52,960
Speaker 4: like this guy's going through it acute like mental health

1716
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 4: crisis right now. It's hard to be like this guy

1717
01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:57,400
Speaker 4: just sucks. It's like, no, I don't know, something is

1718
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 4: like crossed up in his neurons right now, is what

1719
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:01,880
Speaker 4: it feels like to me, my thought process. If you

1720
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:04,679
Speaker 4: do not trust your wife that much, you're just going downhill.

1721
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:08,000
Speaker 4: You gotta check with someone else. Your responsibility to fix

1722
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,760
Speaker 4: what's going on in your head is on you, and

1723
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 4: you need to go see someone.

1724
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:12,920
Speaker 5: That's where I disagree with it.

1725
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:14,760
Speaker 4: No one can go make him do it.