Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Having a kid is
Speaker 1: so fucking hard. I mean one day I was like
Speaker 1: losing my mind. My daughter was very, very upset. She's screaming,
Speaker 1: she headbutted me in the face, and then thirty minutes
Speaker 1: later she was playing in a fountain and watching her
Speaker 1: it was like I've never felt such joy. Hi everybody,
Speaker 1: and welcome back to Katie's Crib. Wow, it is shockingly
Speaker 1: about that time again. That's right. This is the season
Speaker 1: five finale of Katie's Crib. And I'm in shock because
Speaker 1: I can't believe it's been five seasons. And really I'm
Speaker 1: just so freaking grateful and want to say thank you
Speaker 1: to you all for listening. Thank you, thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you with all of my heart. Two was a absolutely
Speaker 1: wild year. I've got two kids that are like just
Speaker 1: not babies anymore. They're growing up, they're asking the hard questions,
Speaker 1: they're becoming little humans themselves. And thanks to Katie's Crib,
Speaker 1: I get to take out all my questions and concerns
Speaker 1: and thoughts here on this podcast with all of you
Speaker 1: and all of our amazing experts and mamas who are
Speaker 1: experiencing similar things to just come on, be together and
Speaker 1: help me learn what the heck I am doing. My
Speaker 1: Katie's Crib community has been such a source of inspiration
Speaker 1: and support this year. And you know what else is
Speaker 1: hilarious and what I love so much about all of
Speaker 1: you listeners is that for all the people who come
Speaker 1: up to me and fans of Scandal and Inventing Anna
Speaker 1: fans all of that, it's really the Katie's Crib listeners
Speaker 1: that I feel the most connected to and just find
Speaker 1: myself laugh crying in the streets. Katie's Crib people will
Speaker 1: come up to me and be like a great, great, great, yeah, fine,
Speaker 1: Scandal amending Anna. No, really, Katie's Crib. It's what's gotten
Speaker 1: me through some of the most difficult, challenging and rewarding
Speaker 1: and hard times of my life. And I find myself
Speaker 1: just hugging and I get it. I feel like we're
Speaker 1: all in this together, and I'm truly just so appreciative.
Speaker 1: It means so much to me how you all continue
Speaker 1: to tune in every week. You're all awesome. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Now to wrap season five up, the guests that I
Speaker 1: have here for you all today is the one and
Speaker 1: only Rachel Bloom. Rachel Bloom. I have been such a
Speaker 1: fan of her since she came onto the scene in
Speaker 1: her show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I think she's a force.
Speaker 1: And when I saw on her Instagram that she was
Speaker 1: pregnant and sharing and all of that, I was like,
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, we got to get
Speaker 1: around Katie's crib. She's a great guest and I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to have her. As the season five finale, she
Speaker 1: talks about the experience of giving birth around the same
Speaker 1: time that a dear friend of her has died due
Speaker 1: to COVID nineteen and how that affected her entire experience.
Speaker 1: She talks about her breastfeeding journey, how her daughters style
Speaker 1: of breastfeeding. She actually calls it a piranha, which I
Speaker 1: can definitely relate to. She talks about how parenting is
Speaker 1: like living in New York, how it's got, you know,
Speaker 1: all those highs and all those lows, and also how
Speaker 1: her daughter once head budded her in the face. So
Speaker 1: it's a very enjoyable episode. If you don't know who
Speaker 1: Rachel Bloom is, she's an actress, comedian, writer, singer, songwriter
Speaker 1: and producer. She's best known for co creating and starring
Speaker 1: as Rebecca Bunch in the c W musical comedy drama
Speaker 1: series Crazy Ex Girlfriend. She's received numerous awards, including a
Speaker 1: Golden Globe Award and a t c A Award in
Speaker 1: the Critics Choice Television Award. In a Prime Time Emmy,
Speaker 1: she was featured in Trolls World Tour opposite to Kendrick
Speaker 1: and Justin Timberlake. Her other feature voice over credits include
Speaker 1: Columbia Pictures, Angry Birds, to Warner Brothers Animations, Batman Versus
Speaker 1: Teenage Turtles, and Netflix's Extinct. Two fifteen, Rachel married actor,
Speaker 1: comedian and writer Dan Gregor. She gave birth to her
Speaker 1: first child, Rachel. Welcome to Katie's crib. I'm a fan.
Speaker 1: Like I'm a real fan of yours. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: thank you. Likewise, I just think you're the ship. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this, but one time,
Speaker 1: like a night before fancy Hollywood bullshit party, that's really fun.
Speaker 1: It's actually the most fun one because it's the night
Speaker 1: before party. I think it's the night before the Emmys.
Speaker 1: We were crossing each other's paths on the way in
Speaker 1: or out of the bathroom. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: I said at the time that I just think you're
Speaker 1: so fucking wildly talented, please live, did I? So a
Speaker 1: couple of things happened that night that might have blocked
Speaker 1: this out, which is one of my agents basically convinced
Speaker 1: my husband to be okay with having a kid, Like
Speaker 1: he made my husband cry at this party. That's big, yes.
Speaker 1: And then I think this was a party where I
Speaker 1: was smoking a cigarette, which I rarely do, but I
Speaker 1: was like fuck it and Mandy Patinkin told me to stop.
Speaker 1: I think what was maybe this one? So there were
Speaker 1: things that happened at this this party because it was
Speaker 1: the only time I went that might have blocked out
Speaker 1: your kind words for my memory. Well, if there was
Speaker 1: ever going to be a thing, let it be both
Speaker 1: of those. And also, I'm here to tell you now
Speaker 1: I'm a massive fan and thank you. That party is insane,
Speaker 1: Like it's just really wonderful because it's where actors feel
Speaker 1: we get gussied up, and there's good food. Like my
Speaker 1: husband just as obsessed because there's like a lobster roll
Speaker 1: bar and he just like sits and eats all fucking
Speaker 1: night long. But it's like, I do think everyone feels
Speaker 1: a little bit more comfortable to like smoke a cigarette
Speaker 1: or whatever because there isn't like a roaming photographer or
Speaker 1: it just feels like a little bit I don't know
Speaker 1: if you could say safer, but it just feels I've
Speaker 1: had like I had the fortunate um we got to
Speaker 1: go with Scandal for a bunch of years, and it
Speaker 1: was just like always like where I could fan out
Speaker 1: the most because in such a TV head like I
Speaker 1: don't really understand movies or care that much about them,
Speaker 1: but I fucking love television and I always have. And
Speaker 1: so when I get to go to that party, I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's every guest that I love, including Rachel bloom Um,
Speaker 1: who we have so many friends in coming. I'm just
Speaker 1: so glad to have you on. But actually, this Night
Speaker 1: before Hollywood Shenanigan story brings me to my first question,
Speaker 1: which is you gave birth to your child during COVID
Speaker 1: at the same time close close friend of yours passed
Speaker 1: away due to COVID, and I think it's really weird
Speaker 1: that the same a party where someone told you not
Speaker 1: to smoke, maybe so that you wouldn't die is the
Speaker 1: same night that your husband decided that you may have kids.
Speaker 1: And I just think that when you become a mom,
Speaker 1: it's like death thoughts all the time. And I can't
Speaker 1: even and that. And that's coming from someone who didn't
Speaker 1: have a good friend die of COVID. So explained to me,
Speaker 1: do you have this sick local life death thoughts all
Speaker 1: the time? Like I do? I do? And I'm actually
Speaker 1: I've been. I'm working on a live show that I
Speaker 1: hope to be a film special literally about that that
Speaker 1: which is the experience of giving birth. I gave birth
Speaker 1: late March. The night I gave birth, I found out
Speaker 1: Adam was sick. I didn't know Adam was sick um
Speaker 1: and then he basically died the day after we took
Speaker 1: her home from the hospital because she was also in
Speaker 1: the nick you And so it was this huge wall
Speaker 1: of of a death and sickness awareness at once and
Speaker 1: a big question. And what the show I'm working on
Speaker 1: is about, how do I live my life knowing that
Speaker 1: death is real? Knowing I always knew death was real,
Speaker 1: but like knowing you know, like on a heart level,
Speaker 1: that death is real and can come any time, but
Speaker 1: also not having it paralyzed me. And it was yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was extremely traumatic. It was extremely formative. Uh.
Speaker 1: And it's funny. I talked to other moms who who
Speaker 1: gave birth during this time, but because things were changing
Speaker 1: so much, if you gave birth between like mid March
Speaker 1: and like June, your experience might not be the same
Speaker 1: as as someone else. Like so, for instance, there were
Speaker 1: fathers banned from delivery rooms. And I actually got induced. Uh.
Speaker 1: My doctor basically was like, look, we don't know what
Speaker 1: is going to happen. If the hospitals here anything like
Speaker 1: New York, we are going to get inundated with patients.
Speaker 1: So I want to get you in and out of
Speaker 1: the hospital as quick as possible. Now, what ended up
Speaker 1: happening was unrelated to me getting induced. My daughter was
Speaker 1: in the Nike You. She ended up staying in the
Speaker 1: hospital for five more days, and I was I was
Speaker 1: really kind of freaking out because COVID was ramping up
Speaker 1: and by then I knew Adam was sick, and it
Speaker 1: was really it was so weird they still didn't have
Speaker 1: us masking in the Nike You. It's really weird. So
Speaker 1: so when when I gave birth, it was so early
Speaker 1: in COVID. I wore a mask into the hospital, my
Speaker 1: first time wearing a mask anywhere. I took off my
Speaker 1: mask the second we got to the maternity floor. I
Speaker 1: wasn't masked when I gave birth. When when my daughter
Speaker 1: was in the nike I didn't have to wear a mask.
Speaker 1: I had to wash my hands. It was the hand
Speaker 1: washing thing. I didn't wear a mask around my daughter,
Speaker 1: but I had to like do the whole scrub scrub,
Speaker 1: scrub your thumb, scrubby wrists thing. And then my husband
Speaker 1: and I couldn't be in the nikkei at the same time.
Speaker 1: That was the COVID regulation that came in. And then
Speaker 1: by the time we left the hospital, but my daughter
Speaker 1: was still in the nikke you, my husband could not
Speaker 1: go back in the hospital period. So my husband didn't
Speaker 1: see my daughter for until she came until she got home.
Speaker 1: I just like, there's so much death around us, and
Speaker 1: it's really hard to like buy in and you gotta start.
Speaker 1: And I got my start with my baby too. Like
Speaker 1: you know, I had the experience where I was waiting
Speaker 1: in line with pregnant women, like praying for someone to
Speaker 1: give us a vaccine, and my O b because it
Speaker 1: wasn't the vaccines, weren't being pregnant, women were not considered
Speaker 1: high risk yet um in terms of people who were
Speaker 1: allowed to get vaccinated, and it started to get out that,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, if you could get a vaccine, that
Speaker 1: might help your baby not get COVID. I mean, anyway
Speaker 1: we have we are all at this moment living to
Speaker 1: tell this story, and it's just traumatic. I think what
Speaker 1: we're all realizing too, is that the past years where
Speaker 1: there was no pandemic was kind of an anomaly that
Speaker 1: more of human history than not our war and pandemics.
Speaker 1: So I think that we're especially shocked because when you
Speaker 1: don't have hardship and you're in a period of relative
Speaker 1: like economic boom and safety, to be sincere about things
Speaker 1: is not cool. You want to like talk about the
Speaker 1: fucking darkest ship, and that's not the way life is anymore.
Speaker 1: Things have cycled back to I mean chaos, which seems
Speaker 1: to be the stasis more often than not. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think we were all like someone came over my house
Speaker 1: for life fourth and she was like, oh, I'm just realizing,
Speaker 1: like it was like it was all a lie, but
Speaker 1: we were like living in it for so long I
Speaker 1: mean I definitely was. But to your point, like Shonda
Speaker 1: Rhymes when she did Scandal, I mean, she's been on
Speaker 1: record saying like, you know, I don't know how long
Speaker 1: Scandal would have lasted, but she was the one she
Speaker 1: made the decision that the show was ending and there
Speaker 1: were no more stories to tell. But it was because
Speaker 1: she's saying, you know, political shows really do well and
Speaker 1: exist when the lights are on, uh in d C
Speaker 1: and when things seem you know, like if you look
Speaker 1: at when west Wing was on, I was just about
Speaker 1: to say west Wing being a liberal wet dream, right exactly.
Speaker 1: And same with Scandal, she was like the minute the
Speaker 1: world when a different direction. She and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it seemed like the d C we were telling about
Speaker 1: was not even close to as bad as what was
Speaker 1: really going on. It just didn't seem fun anymore. Um. Now,
Speaker 1: talking about your husband, going back to that point, did
Speaker 1: he not always want to be a parent and someone
Speaker 1: convinced him at that party? And did you always want
Speaker 1: to be a parent, Like it was a process. He
Speaker 1: wasn't totally convinced at that party. So my husband and
Speaker 1: I've been together almost fourteen years, and so we talked
Speaker 1: about kids a lot. We were always talking about kids.
Speaker 1: I haven't actually an old A O L I AM
Speaker 1: conversation from when we were just friends, because we've known
Speaker 1: each other for like seventeen eighteen years, and so we
Speaker 1: were having an I AM conversation. I like went I
Speaker 1: went in a while ago printed out all of our
Speaker 1: old A O L conversations and I'm so glad I
Speaker 1: did in some of our old G chats, and we
Speaker 1: have like an early conversation where we were just friends
Speaker 1: talking about like baby names. I don't know why. It
Speaker 1: was just it was so random, and I was fully
Speaker 1: not dating him. In fact, I was dating one of
Speaker 1: his friends, so it makes no sense. But umlass, yeah,
Speaker 1: my husband, he wasn't like never ever, but he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm edging towards no. I could be convinced. You'd have
Speaker 1: to like really convince me, and I was mildly on
Speaker 1: the side of yes, but it wasn't part of my
Speaker 1: kind of future identity. I wasn't like I want to
Speaker 1: be a mom. It was just it was more of
Speaker 1: a I think I want that for myself someday. But
Speaker 1: you could also convince me no. So we both kind
Speaker 1: of always saw both sides. I was more positive, he
Speaker 1: was more negative, but we were kind of in that
Speaker 1: middle road, and then he kind of stayed where he was.
Speaker 1: I got a little more I want this, I want this,
Speaker 1: I want this is frankly, I felt my biological clock
Speaker 1: kicking and also crazy X was a majority mom's writer's room.
Speaker 1: My writing partner, Lean is twenty years older than I am.
Speaker 1: She's too now grown kids, and so I spent I
Speaker 1: started to spend a lot of time practically with moms
Speaker 1: in the workplace and seeing no, no no, no, you keep
Speaker 1: your identity while also having kids, and I hadn't. I
Speaker 1: just hadn't worked with moms much, and so that was
Speaker 1: also It was definitely a factor, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: I got him on board, and then I got pregnant
Speaker 1: right away. He thought we'd be having fun trying for
Speaker 1: six months. I got pregnant on the first cycle, poor guy. UM.
Speaker 1: And then he found out he we were having a girl,
Speaker 1: and he was that really helped. He really wanted a girl,
Speaker 1: um for many reasons. And you know, he wasn't wrong.
Speaker 1: It's really fucking hard, like we were both right. I
Speaker 1: was right that I wanted to feel that love and
Speaker 1: have that have that experience, and he was right that
Speaker 1: it was going to change our fundamental dynamic in our
Speaker 1: lives and be really hard. We were both right. It's
Speaker 1: both things, and it's why I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people who have kids suddenly become those people who were like,
Speaker 1: at everyone has to have kids, or you're not having kids?
Speaker 1: Why are you having kids? And I think there's a
Speaker 1: little death protest too much in that, because I think
Speaker 1: it's maybe the people who do that either they really
Speaker 1: really love their kids and they want for everyone, or
Speaker 1: they're trying to continue to tell themselves a story that yes,
Speaker 1: having this was the right thing to do when everyone
Speaker 1: needs to do this. I never tell anyone to have
Speaker 1: a kid, but I'm trying to put myself in that
Speaker 1: person's shoes, where if I was trying to bargain someone
Speaker 1: to like not miss that boat. It's because I'm praying
Speaker 1: that when I get to the end of my life
Speaker 1: and I can really look at it, whenever that is,
Speaker 1: and that split second, I will have said, I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful I made that choice. I'm so grateful I was
Speaker 1: a mom to somebody. I'm like you, I see all
Speaker 1: sides of it. I'm like there are some days where
Speaker 1: this is the best fucking thing ever. And there are
Speaker 1: some days where I'm like, I cannot get on a
Speaker 1: plane with a fake identity and like a different boyfriend
Speaker 1: and like just do it different, like because this is
Speaker 1: so fucking hard. Having a kid is so fucking hard.
Speaker 1: I mean, one day I was like losing my mind.
Speaker 1: My daughter was very, very upset. She was screaming, she
Speaker 1: head butted me in the face, and then thirty minutes
Speaker 1: later she was playing in a fountain and watching her
Speaker 1: it was like, I've never felt such joy. It's like
Speaker 1: I compared to living in New York the highs or
Speaker 1: highs and the lows are low. Yes, it's harder than
Speaker 1: we thought, but we went into this knowing it would
Speaker 1: be hard. And so I mean, I've been thinking about
Speaker 1: this a lot lately. Like I think a lot of
Speaker 1: the world's problems are caused by people becoming parents who
Speaker 1: shouldn't be parents, and then they emotionally and or physically
Speaker 1: abuse their children. Uh, and then there these children are
Speaker 1: humans and adults walking amongst the world who haven't dealt
Speaker 1: with that horrible trauma and now they're awful. Yes, Like,
Speaker 1: because you know the world is the world is bad
Speaker 1: because of trauma, right, and being parents who shouldn't be
Speaker 1: parents UM is one of the big traumas. And so like,
Speaker 1: I'm amazed that you have to take a test to
Speaker 1: drive a car, but there's no test to become parents,
Speaker 1: or there's no like required class. It's insane. It's totally
Speaker 1: insane and the quickest way I feel like why being
Speaker 1: a parent. One of the many reasons why parenting is
Speaker 1: hard is because anything you haven't worked out or looked
Speaker 1: into or looked at about yourself, ah, a light is
Speaker 1: shine on it, even more so with your child, Like
Speaker 1: if you have people pleasing issues, or if you have
Speaker 1: rage issues, or if you have patients issues, or if
Speaker 1: you have a horrible relationship with your parents. I mean
Speaker 1: just all of it is accentuated come to light even
Speaker 1: further by this child that you've been given UM, And
Speaker 1: so you've got to work out your own ship if
Speaker 1: you want to be a good parent. Really, I mean really, Oh,
Speaker 1: my husband and I did couples therapy when we decided
Speaker 1: to get pregnant, just just to like preemptively do it,
Speaker 1: and then we were doing it all throughout us pregnant,
Speaker 1: like just to do it just to like talk through issues,
Speaker 1: talk through Okay, what's our family philosophy? It was awesome, right,
Speaker 1: Like you don't learn until you get there. But you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: are we those parents that like fight in front of
Speaker 1: our kids? Do we not fight in front of our kids?
Speaker 1: Do we raise our voices? Do we not raise our voices?
Speaker 1: Do we sit down to a dinner table? Do we not?
Speaker 1: What happens when the child asks if there's a god?
Speaker 1: How do you talk to your children about death? I mean,
Speaker 1: all of this ship is like big stuff that a
Speaker 1: lot of times you don't even really have these conversations.
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't have these conversations with their
Speaker 1: significant other or partner if there is a partner in
Speaker 1: this with them. Uh in how to raise a person
Speaker 1: totally shifting gears, How was your pregnancy, I'd say six,
Speaker 1: you know, which is about where you and your husband
Speaker 1: were in the pro and five exactly, I would say sixty, good, forty.
Speaker 1: I never threw up. I don't throw up easily. I
Speaker 1: was so nauseous all the time for the first three
Speaker 1: and a half four months, and then I got pretty
Speaker 1: bad back problems, back pain starting at six months to
Speaker 1: where I had to like carry around a cushion, a
Speaker 1: personal cushion everywhere we went. I couldn't. Basically, I needed
Speaker 1: something to be bolstering the small of my back. You've
Speaker 1: always been a larger size in the breast department, and
Speaker 1: then I'm sure with pregnancy and breastfeeding that did not
Speaker 1: help any back situation. No. So, so it was interesting
Speaker 1: because I always had big boobs, but but I wasn't
Speaker 1: unhappy with them. I wasn't like I always had big
Speaker 1: boobs and I and yeah, there were like pains and
Speaker 1: I did a song called heavy Boobs and I joke
Speaker 1: about it. But like I never wanted a reduction or
Speaker 1: craved reduction. When I got pregnant started breastfeeding, I went
Speaker 1: from a double triple D to a G very fast,
Speaker 1: and and the way that my G was it was
Speaker 1: just no shape anymore. And I have a short torso,
Speaker 1: so when you put a shapeless G on a short torso,
Speaker 1: my breasts were down in my belly button. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't, I can't live my life like
Speaker 1: so I had a reduction pretty soon. I mean I
Speaker 1: had a reduction. Mm hmm. It was it was like
Speaker 1: a year and a half after I gave birth, Wow,
Speaker 1: and it was great. How was breastfeeding? How was that
Speaker 1: journey for you? I had a very drama free breastfeeding journey.
Speaker 1: I only ever made about four ounces. Um, and my
Speaker 1: daughter was They were like, I took a like quiz
Speaker 1: one time, what what style of us feeding as your baby?
Speaker 1: In her style was called piranha, which is that the
Speaker 1: second she you put her on the nipples, she just
Speaker 1: went on ringing, and so she was so hungry, so
Speaker 1: very quickly I started supplementing with formula just because I
Speaker 1: even at my fullest, I only ever made four ounces.
Speaker 1: But but I made and I'm actually still lactating in
Speaker 1: my left boob. If I squeeze really hard, I can
Speaker 1: still get a drop out. It's real weird. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I was with someone who will remain nameless, who hasn't
Speaker 1: breast been in like seven or eight years, and we
Speaker 1: were just like squeezing our nipples next to each other
Speaker 1: in a bathroom because I had a clog, and she
Speaker 1: just like squeezed out this like green fucking ooze, and
Speaker 1: I just was like green, that's like the body is insane.
Speaker 1: The body is so weird. Green. That's interesting, dark, deep
Speaker 1: like Kale Green. Yeah, I don't know. It's like super colostrum, right,
Speaker 1: I think, So, how is your actual labor? I had
Speaker 1: had this thing. I I basically had I guess what
Speaker 1: you'd call Braxton Hicks because every time in my last
Speaker 1: two months of pregnancy, every time I had to go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I'd start getting up cramps like contractions,
Speaker 1: And then every time I went to the bathroom, I'd
Speaker 1: get cramps again. It was just I think the way
Speaker 1: that the bladder putting pressure maters, so I was getting induced.
Speaker 1: The first thing they do before they give you the
Speaker 1: potoson is they give you a sailin. They just they
Speaker 1: hydrate you with fluids. So what this do was it's
Speaker 1: supercharged my bladder. It made me feel like I was
Speaker 1: already going into labor, like I couldn't tell. I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: am I going into labor right now? Because they it
Speaker 1: was filling my bladder. I kept having to disconnect my
Speaker 1: wires go to the bathroom. Finally, I tried to fall
Speaker 1: asleep on a bedpan trying to get there, like trying
Speaker 1: to get some They were like trying to get some
Speaker 1: sleep before you go into labor. And this was like
Speaker 1: three am. I checked in midnight. At this point it's
Speaker 1: three thirty am. I tried to sleep. I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1: I went up to go to the bathroom one more
Speaker 1: time and then the contraction started kicking in from the
Speaker 1: potosan and it felt like someone kicked me in the back.
Speaker 1: Within twenty minutes, I had the epidural. I knew I
Speaker 1: wanted the epidural. They came in and they were like,
Speaker 1: what's your pain goal? And I and I was like two.
Speaker 1: And they're like, okay, so you wanna have a little pain.
Speaker 1: I was like, can I say zero? Because I never
Speaker 1: I was never one of those people who was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm going for natural birthway. My husband said something interesting,
Speaker 1: which is and this is controversial, but he said that
Speaker 1: women opting for no pain relief during childbirth. It's the
Speaker 1: equivalent of guys being like, how much can you bench? Bro?
Speaker 1: There's a there's a pride in how much pain you felt.
Speaker 1: That is a way I think some women lord over
Speaker 1: other women. For me, I have a very low pain tolerance.
Speaker 1: I am not having a baby to give birth. Epidurals
Speaker 1: are wonderful. They're very effective, they're very safe and very calm.
Speaker 1: And so I always knew I wanted an epidural. Um.
Speaker 1: The epidural was painful. I mean, I mean I knew it.
Speaker 1: I kind of basically, I didn't read up on how
Speaker 1: painful and epidural was because I knew it would be painful. Um.
Speaker 1: But I remember, right before getting the epidural, and I
Speaker 1: was in labor, I said to my husband, I'm only
Speaker 1: doing this once, as if he was the one who
Speaker 1: pushed me to have a baby. He was like, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I got the epidural. Oh, and then they
Speaker 1: put a cafeter in me. Did you feel that? Oh?
Speaker 1: My god, no, I didn't you so relieved because you
Speaker 1: didn't stop worrying about belief. I fell asleep and there
Speaker 1: was a bag around my ankle filling with piss and
Speaker 1: I loved it. And my doctor woke me up to
Speaker 1: break my water, and then she woke me up again
Speaker 1: to be like, you're dilated. You need to start pushing.
Speaker 1: So I was like, so, I like, I woke up
Speaker 1: to push. My labor was twenty minutes when I started
Speaker 1: actually pushing. Uh, And which is interesting because they say
Speaker 1: epidurals extend labor. So my doctor was like, ha, do
Speaker 1: you not at the epidural, it might have gone even
Speaker 1: like faster, which is crazy. Um. And then my daughter
Speaker 1: was born with fluid inter lungs. And it's hard because,
Speaker 1: like I sometimes blame myself. I'm like, oh, was my
Speaker 1: labor short because I had an epidural? Did I do
Speaker 1: that to her? Did her lungs get not expressed enough fluid?
Speaker 1: And it's like, no, that this happens to babies all
Speaker 1: the time. It's a thing called T t N, which
Speaker 1: stands for transitory. It's where in your baby as fluid
Speaker 1: and their lungs And that was crazy. That's my labor
Speaker 1: T t N, which again, what is that stand for? Again,
Speaker 1: I've actually never heard the technical medical term. Yeah, T
Speaker 1: t N here, I'm gonna look it up right now.
Speaker 1: Transient tack to kypnea of the newborn. Oh. I see
Speaker 1: after delivery as a baby breeze for the first time,
Speaker 1: the lungs fell with air and more fluid is pushed out. Um.
Speaker 1: Babies with T t M have just extra fluid in
Speaker 1: their lungs. Um. And it's specifically called transient because it
Speaker 1: doesn't last long and doesn't have any effect on development.
Speaker 1: When she came out, was it obvious right away that
Speaker 1: she was having a hard time breathing and there was
Speaker 1: fluid in the lung? Yeah, yeah, I have it on.
Speaker 1: I actually have it on, and it's like and it's
Speaker 1: like you can tell she's going like I mean, like,
Speaker 1: that's my impression of a baby trying to cry. I
Speaker 1: didn't know because I had nothing to compare to. But
Speaker 1: my doctor knew instantly. Was she bluish so purple just
Speaker 1: just which I already knew she'd be, because like babies
Speaker 1: coming out are pretty purple in general, but like she
Speaker 1: was like purple. Wow, how what a wild wild I
Speaker 1: can't imagine just being in COVID and like having this problem,
Speaker 1: with this feeling of like wanting to just get your
Speaker 1: baby out of there. Maybe if the hospital was proving
Speaker 1: seeming like something that was like not a safe place
Speaker 1: to be in. Each pass an hour and day less
Speaker 1: and less, so it was getting very stressful. So so
Speaker 1: she was in the NIKE for five days. And then
Speaker 1: I had a psychiatrist at the time who has since died,
Speaker 1: which is a whole other presence of death in my life. Um,
Speaker 1: my psychiatrist knew the head of the hospital, and he
Speaker 1: was like he was like, what does your daughter have Again?
Speaker 1: I was like, she was t TN and he's like, hump,
Speaker 1: why are they keeping her? I was like, I guess
Speaker 1: to rule out infection and he's like, I think they're
Speaker 1: keeping her as a formality. He's like, you need to
Speaker 1: get her. You should get her out of the hospital soon.
Speaker 1: Let me call the head of that He knew the
Speaker 1: head of the hospital. So because my psychiatrist knew the
Speaker 1: guy around this hospital, I think they went to college together. Um.
Speaker 1: I got her out two days sooner. Wow. Wait, speaking
Speaker 1: about your psychiatrists, this is another thing I really want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about. So you you were on
Speaker 1: medication I'm not sure which one, but previously before getting pregnant. Yeah, yeah, prozac.
Speaker 1: I just want to talk to being on medication during pregnancy,
Speaker 1: during breastfeeding, and how you came to that decision, what
Speaker 1: your support team of professionals looked like, etcetera. No one
Speaker 1: ever said I should go off, I asked my psychiatrist,
Speaker 1: I asked my O B du I N. I guess
Speaker 1: if i'd maybe been on a higher dosage. I'm on
Speaker 1: ten milligrams of prozac, which is kind of the minimum dose.
Speaker 1: Maybe if i'd been on higher dosages, they would have
Speaker 1: talked about scaling back. But not only are s SR
Speaker 1: eyes which stand which are antidepressants. It stands for I
Speaker 1: believe selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Uh not only are they
Speaker 1: do they not affect a baby, but but the but
Speaker 1: the risk, The thing you want is for a calm
Speaker 1: mother S SR eyes helped that. So I was never
Speaker 1: counseled to go off the whole time. Did you feel
Speaker 1: any postpartum depression anxiety at all considering you were dealing
Speaker 1: with also a death of a friend or was it
Speaker 1: almost too I don't even know. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: here's the thing is, I don't I think I had
Speaker 1: postpartum anxiety. I really I also had like pre part
Speaker 1: of anxiety. I've always had trouble with so I have
Speaker 1: generalized anxiety disorder, which can sometimes go into intrusive thinking
Speaker 1: which crosses into O c D land. So during big
Speaker 1: periods of my life, whether it be good or bad,
Speaker 1: just I will sometimes get intrusive thoughts because my brain
Speaker 1: goes to like, I don't know, my brains in high
Speaker 1: anxiety mode, and so it goes into intrusive thoughts because
Speaker 1: that's just how my brain chemistry works sometimes. So I
Speaker 1: did have some intrusive thinking. Around the time I gave
Speaker 1: I had some depression, especially my first trimester. The nausea
Speaker 1: didn't help. And then I had some heightened anxiety around
Speaker 1: the time I gave birth, and then Adam died and
Speaker 1: we were in a pandemic, and I was depressed and
Speaker 1: I had a newborn. So I can't really, I can't
Speaker 1: tell you. It was just all really confusing. Okay, So
Speaker 1: March twin to me, so she's she's over to now,
Speaker 1: so she's over too. Was there ever a moment where
Speaker 1: you woke up and you felt like yourself through all
Speaker 1: of that, like you ever were like a year and
Speaker 1: a half have gone by and you're like, I'm starting
Speaker 1: to I mean, yeah, pockets, there were always pockets of that.
Speaker 1: They're always pockets of feeling like myself. I think that
Speaker 1: the journey has been integrating the two. A part of
Speaker 1: my brain that is a mother and caring for my
Speaker 1: child feels like a completely different part of my brain
Speaker 1: than who I am is like a writer and after performer,
Speaker 1: a friend. Even sometimes I feel that way. Do they're
Speaker 1: just kind of apples and oranges, and it's why like
Speaker 1: when we had moms in the Crazy ex Writer's room,
Speaker 1: we had like a baby room, and I was like
Speaker 1: surprised they didn't bring their kids in more. But now
Speaker 1: I get it because it's two different parts of your brain,
Speaker 1: almost especially when your kids are really little. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's so romanticized in my head that I always have
Speaker 1: my kids if I'm were you know, I just worked
Speaker 1: on a project that it was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: was working eighteen hour days for a month, and of
Speaker 1: course I have my kids visit as much as possible,
Speaker 1: but I always realize it's like that's like it's just
Speaker 1: not great because my mind is in a different place
Speaker 1: when you're working and you're in that sort of vibe
Speaker 1: and it's like there, it's it's it's hard when you're
Speaker 1: when you get your thirty minute lunch break and I
Speaker 1: just go into I'm like, okay, just meeting my trailer
Speaker 1: and let me do thirty minutes of like mommying, like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna breastfeed he and I'm gonna make him feel
Speaker 1: connection and all this ship and it's like it's just
Speaker 1: they are two different parts of my being in a way.
Speaker 1: They function differently, and to sort of cram one into
Speaker 1: the other is probably why your writers weren't bringing them
Speaker 1: in the room more. Yeah, you just it's just two
Speaker 1: different It's just it's two different things. And I think
Speaker 1: I'm slowly integrating the part of myself. I also was
Speaker 1: isolated for for a year because of COVID, So like
Speaker 1: I very again, like I can only talk about my
Speaker 1: experience as I had it. I'd be interested in the
Speaker 1: parallel universe where COVID didn't happen, what it was like
Speaker 1: for me, because when everyone locked down, I was locked
Speaker 1: down with a baby, and no one really met her.
Speaker 1: People would come to our front yard and see her outside,
Speaker 1: but but like most people didn't meet her until she
Speaker 1: was over a year, and in fact, there was just
Speaker 1: um oh, she was a flower She was a flower
Speaker 1: girl at my friend's wedding, and it was the first
Speaker 1: time some people met her, and that finally almost felt
Speaker 1: like a coming out party of like, hey, everyone, I
Speaker 1: have a kid now, Like I felt like I went
Speaker 1: to hibernation and came out with a kid. So I'm
Speaker 1: slowly integrating those two parts of of myself. And it's
Speaker 1: because they're just they're just two different things. Were you
Speaker 1: right in the in the in when you were giving
Speaker 1: birth to your daughter and you said, this is the
Speaker 1: only time I'm doing this. Do you still feel that way? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we're a one and done situation. I mean,
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but for numerous reasons, I think
Speaker 1: the best version of our family is having one um.
Speaker 1: Part of the way I sold my husband on it
Speaker 1: is like, let's do this one time. Let's have this
Speaker 1: beautiful one time experience. And then, aside from everything else,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, the circumstances of her birth, through no
Speaker 1: fault of hers, were fucking traumatic and I don't really
Speaker 1: want to go through that again. I think it would
Speaker 1: be reliving some trauma in a way. But but aside
Speaker 1: from everything, I think we're a one in done And
Speaker 1: I was an only child, so that's a template I know.
Speaker 1: And she's the best. I love her. We're wrapping up,
Speaker 1: but I really want to talk to you because my
Speaker 1: mom I read something that you. Your mom made you
Speaker 1: play an instrument. I believe there was something in your
Speaker 1: house of like Mozart saying you'll thank me one day, kid,
Speaker 1: or oh my god. Yes, I don't know where you
Speaker 1: read that, but yes, we had yes. And you know,
Speaker 1: we pick and choose whatever things we were raised with
Speaker 1: that we agree or disagree, or pass on or don't.
Speaker 1: But one of the things you are passing on is
Speaker 1: that you would like your daughter to play an instrument.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter which one, but she's got to play something.
Speaker 1: And my mom made me play piano till I was eighteen.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We used to fucking fight Rachel fucking
Speaker 1: Hem and Hall like please every single fucking day, joke,
Speaker 1: I mean not every day, every Tuesday for fucking thirteen years.
Speaker 1: Joe comes over at five thirty is me at six
Speaker 1: o'clock was my brother, and she fucking forced us. And
Speaker 1: I have to say, I'm so you are right. You win.
Speaker 1: Your mom wins, My mom wins. I don't know what
Speaker 1: else better I thought I would be doing at that time,
Speaker 1: that I have like a nice parlor trick in my
Speaker 1: back pocket, that I can fucking play a piano and
Speaker 1: I can read a note, and like I have that
Speaker 1: other language and I have that as it's such a gift.
Speaker 1: I wish she had done the same thing for the language.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I like, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like now, I'm like shit, I know, I feel a
Speaker 1: little guilty. I thought, Oh, I'll raise her bilingual or whatever. No,
Speaker 1: or all just speaking English. So are you hoping for
Speaker 1: a instrument or do you really not care? I don't care.
Speaker 1: She really likes playing our piano. We have two pianos
Speaker 1: in the house. She loves playing them. I gotta say
Speaker 1: she's already matching pitch. If I sing a song, she's
Speaker 1: already singing. Or my kids, And let me tell you,
Speaker 1: I was fucking relieved. I think that's genetic. Also, someone
Speaker 1: will remain nameless on Scan. But we were a big
Speaker 1: singing cast on Scandal. It's so funny because such a
Speaker 1: dramatic show. But as soon as they would call cut
Speaker 1: on any single world, we were all singing at all times.
Speaker 1: And my favorite, one of my favorite people on the
Speaker 1: show is incredibly tone deaf, like for real, like cannot
Speaker 1: hit a note that anyone around them is singing. It's insane,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm feeling I felt really great when I
Speaker 1: sing a song or my husband sings a song, and
Speaker 1: our son can just match whether we modulate or whatever.
Speaker 1: He's like, there, aren't we relieved? Oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: so relieved. One of the potential names. This isn't her name,
Speaker 1: but one of the potential names we had for at
Speaker 1: one point was Melody. And then my Alean pointed out,
Speaker 1: She's like, that is just asking for a child to
Speaker 1: be tone deaf. Really really, you're right, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: curse her with that. But she loves that. And then
Speaker 1: we have a little toy guitar she loves playing, So
Speaker 1: I'm fine with whatever. Why is it so important to
Speaker 1: you that she does play something? I think what you're
Speaker 1: saying it's it's just the skill that you can always have.
Speaker 1: I think it helps you. Music is another language, and
Speaker 1: I think it's a very important language. And to just
Speaker 1: be keyed into what that language is, I think it
Speaker 1: extends to so many other things in life, and then
Speaker 1: you can like bust out, you know, good riddance to
Speaker 1: the party. Hell yeah, walking in Memphis or some ship
Speaker 1: that's my husband's always go to. Um okay, very quickly,
Speaker 1: where does religion come to play in your household? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: I wanted the age where the kid is like asking
Speaker 1: lots accused. I mean I wanted to know ifive for
Speaker 1: some more than I do. I wanted to do the holidays,
Speaker 1: I wanted to understand the culture because my husband and
Speaker 1: I are both Jewish, and but it's it's a cultural thing,
Speaker 1: got it. Yeah, it's a cultural tradic You want to
Speaker 1: give her traditions that you enjoyed and loved and partook
Speaker 1: and would like to actually know more about. I was
Speaker 1: raised pretty secular, to be honest. So I think there's
Speaker 1: a there's a happy medium between how I was raised,
Speaker 1: which is like, I mean, I don't regret it, but
Speaker 1: I dropped out of Hebrew School when I was around
Speaker 1: eight because I wanted to do theater on the weekend,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't bough mitzvah. So I was raised very secular.
Speaker 1: My husband was raised he would say conservatives. He went
Speaker 1: to Yeshiva until he was thirteen. He kept Kosher until
Speaker 1: in college. He rapped, you know, he prayed every day.
Speaker 1: He rapped to fill in so some some some medium
Speaker 1: and he and he would say technically conservative, but compared
Speaker 1: to I think Los Angeles Jews, it's technically like conservati
Speaker 1: docs but like they call it conservative, but like also
Speaker 1: he's rapping to fill in um. So I think the
Speaker 1: happy medium between those things. Breastfeeding in public, did you
Speaker 1: don't you did you care? Oh my god, I have
Speaker 1: a little balcon I have a balcony in my house
Speaker 1: that overlooks the entire street. The amount of people who
Speaker 1: must have seen my tips had they just looked up?
Speaker 1: I don't care. You're such an exhibitionist. You just are
Speaker 1: have you always? Uh? Well, I don't go around showing
Speaker 1: my tits normally, although I did go topless at Radio
Speaker 1: City Music Hall, So I guess I am um, No,
Speaker 1: I just it's just if your breastfeeding, it's how your
Speaker 1: kid is fucking eating. It's just they're not sexual objects anymore.
Speaker 1: It's like this is this is my kids, Fawcett, Fuck
Speaker 1: you yea and fun and fuck you for not being
Speaker 1: able to control your fucking boner because that's what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's your fucking problem. It's not my fucking problem. It's
Speaker 1: not my problem. It's not my problem that you're such
Speaker 1: a monster that you can't control your fucking boner around
Speaker 1: me doing with my breasts what they're like naturally supposed
Speaker 1: to be doing. Like, it's control your boner because I'm
Speaker 1: feeding my baby, you weirdo. I'm so grateful that you
Speaker 1: made time to come on Katie's Crib. I'm so interested
Speaker 1: to hear about the project in your show you're working
Speaker 1: on for I'm gonna put my email. I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: my email in the chat to you right now. Okay, great.
Speaker 1: I want everyone to listen and look out for whatever
Speaker 1: you're working on that is about the local nature of
Speaker 1: life and death and motherhood. Yeah. Check it out. It's
Speaker 1: like a live show. I'm doing a live show. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, it's like a live special I'm working on.
Speaker 1: When is that, uh it goes up. I've been putting
Speaker 1: it up at this theater Dynasty Typewriter, So it goes
Speaker 1: up next July sevent and then it'll go up again
Speaker 1: in August and then again in September, and I've just
Speaker 1: been kind of doing it. Non negotiable. Must come everyone listening,
Speaker 1: if you're listening in this airs of that time, everyone
Speaker 1: must go. Um finish this sentence, Rachel Bloom. Parenthood is
Speaker 1: parenthood is living in New York City. The highs or
Speaker 1: highs and the lows are low. Brilliant answer we've never had.
Speaker 1: It makes perfect sense to me. Um. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming on Katie's Crib. This was such a
Speaker 1: joy and I hope you have a wonderful uh time
Speaker 1: putting your kid down tonight and on your family dog walk.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for having me all right, guys, Wow,
Speaker 1: we did it. That's it. That's our last episode of
Speaker 1: season five. Thank you to all my awesome guests this
Speaker 1: season for being so brave and for sharing your personal
Speaker 1: experiences and advice. And always thank you listeners for subscribing
Speaker 1: and spreading the word about Katie's Crib. Yes, the season
Speaker 1: maybe ending, but don't you worry season six who We'll
Speaker 1: be coming at you in There's so many more topics
Speaker 1: to explore and share it. In the meantime, be sure
Speaker 1: to email me the names of guests that you want
Speaker 1: to hear from or topics that you'd like me to
Speaker 1: talk about. You can always reach me at Katie's Crib
Speaker 1: at Shanda land dot com. Oh, make sure you also
Speaker 1: subscribe to the show so that you'll be the first
Speaker 1: to know when season six is returning. And of course,
Speaker 1: if you haven't done so already, follow Katie's Crib on
Speaker 1: Instagram and Twitter. Will be dropping news there too for
Speaker 1: when the new season drops. Until then, see you all
Speaker 1: in season six. I Love you. Katie's Crib is a
Speaker 1: production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with I heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from shondalan Audio, visit the iHeart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.