1 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Having a kid is 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 1: so fucking hard. I mean one day I was like 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: losing my mind. My daughter was very, very upset. She's screaming, 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: she headbutted me in the face, and then thirty minutes 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 1: later she was playing in a fountain and watching her 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: it was like I've never felt such joy. Hi everybody, 8 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: and welcome back to Katie's Crib. Wow, it is shockingly 9 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: about that time again. That's right. This is the season 10 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: five finale of Katie's Crib. And I'm in shock because 11 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: I can't believe it's been five seasons. And really I'm 12 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: just so freaking grateful and want to say thank you 13 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,559 Speaker 1: to you all for listening. Thank you, thank you, thank 14 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: you with all of my heart. Two was a absolutely 15 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: wild year. I've got two kids that are like just 16 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,839 Speaker 1: not babies anymore. They're growing up, they're asking the hard questions, 17 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: they're becoming little humans themselves. And thanks to Katie's Crib, 18 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: I get to take out all my questions and concerns 19 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: and thoughts here on this podcast with all of you 20 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: and all of our amazing experts and mamas who are 21 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: experiencing similar things to just come on, be together and 22 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: help me learn what the heck I am doing. My 23 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib community has been such a source of inspiration 24 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: and support this year. And you know what else is 25 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: hilarious and what I love so much about all of 26 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: you listeners is that for all the people who come 27 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: up to me and fans of Scandal and Inventing Anna 28 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: fans all of that, it's really the Katie's Crib listeners 29 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: that I feel the most connected to and just find 30 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: myself laugh crying in the streets. Katie's Crib people will 31 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: come up to me and be like a great, great, great, yeah, fine, 32 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: Scandal amending Anna. No, really, Katie's Crib. It's what's gotten 33 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: me through some of the most difficult, challenging and rewarding 34 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: and hard times of my life. And I find myself 35 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: just hugging and I get it. I feel like we're 36 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: all in this together, and I'm truly just so appreciative. 37 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: It means so much to me how you all continue 38 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: to tune in every week. You're all awesome. Thank you. 39 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: Now to wrap season five up, the guests that I 40 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: have here for you all today is the one and 41 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,919 Speaker 1: only Rachel Bloom. Rachel Bloom. I have been such a 42 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: fan of her since she came onto the scene in 43 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: her show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I think she's a force. 44 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: And when I saw on her Instagram that she was 45 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,679 Speaker 1: pregnant and sharing and all of that, I was like, 46 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, we got to get 47 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: around Katie's crib. She's a great guest and I'm so 48 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: happy to have her. As the season five finale, she 49 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: talks about the experience of giving birth around the same 50 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: time that a dear friend of her has died due 51 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: to COVID nineteen and how that affected her entire experience. 52 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: She talks about her breastfeeding journey, how her daughters style 53 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: of breastfeeding. She actually calls it a piranha, which I 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: can definitely relate to. She talks about how parenting is 55 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: like living in New York, how it's got, you know, 56 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: all those highs and all those lows, and also how 57 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: her daughter once head budded her in the face. So 58 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: it's a very enjoyable episode. If you don't know who 59 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: Rachel Bloom is, she's an actress, comedian, writer, singer, songwriter 60 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: and producer. She's best known for co creating and starring 61 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: as Rebecca Bunch in the c W musical comedy drama 62 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: series Crazy Ex Girlfriend. She's received numerous awards, including a 63 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: Golden Globe Award and a t c A Award in 64 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: the Critics Choice Television Award. In a Prime Time Emmy, 65 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: she was featured in Trolls World Tour opposite to Kendrick 66 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: and Justin Timberlake. Her other feature voice over credits include 67 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 1: Columbia Pictures, Angry Birds, to Warner Brothers Animations, Batman Versus 68 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: Teenage Turtles, and Netflix's Extinct. Two fifteen, Rachel married actor, 69 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: comedian and writer Dan Gregor. She gave birth to her 70 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: first child, Rachel. Welcome to Katie's crib. I'm a fan. 71 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: Like I'm a real fan of yours. Oh my gosh, 72 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: thank you. Likewise, I just think you're the ship. And 73 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this, but one time, 74 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: like a night before fancy Hollywood bullshit party, that's really fun. 75 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: It's actually the most fun one because it's the night 76 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: before party. I think it's the night before the Emmys. 77 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: We were crossing each other's paths on the way in 78 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: or out of the bathroom. And I don't know if 79 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: I said at the time that I just think you're 80 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: so fucking wildly talented, please live, did I? So a 81 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: couple of things happened that night that might have blocked 82 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: this out, which is one of my agents basically convinced 83 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: my husband to be okay with having a kid, Like 84 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: he made my husband cry at this party. That's big, yes. 85 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: And then I think this was a party where I 86 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: was smoking a cigarette, which I rarely do, but I 87 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: was like fuck it and Mandy Patinkin told me to stop. 88 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: I think what was maybe this one? So there were 89 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: things that happened at this this party because it was 90 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: the only time I went that might have blocked out 91 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: your kind words for my memory. Well, if there was 92 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,119 Speaker 1: ever going to be a thing, let it be both 93 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: of those. And also, I'm here to tell you now 94 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: I'm a massive fan and thank you. That party is insane, 95 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: Like it's just really wonderful because it's where actors feel 96 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: we get gussied up, and there's good food. Like my 97 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: husband just as obsessed because there's like a lobster roll 98 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: bar and he just like sits and eats all fucking 99 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: night long. But it's like, I do think everyone feels 100 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: a little bit more comfortable to like smoke a cigarette 101 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: or whatever because there isn't like a roaming photographer or 102 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: it just feels like a little bit I don't know 103 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: if you could say safer, but it just feels I've 104 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: had like I had the fortunate um we got to 105 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: go with Scandal for a bunch of years, and it 106 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: was just like always like where I could fan out 107 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 1: the most because in such a TV head like I 108 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: don't really understand movies or care that much about them, 109 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,559 Speaker 1: but I fucking love television and I always have. And 110 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: so when I get to go to that party, I'm like, 111 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: it's every guest that I love, including Rachel bloom Um, 112 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: who we have so many friends in coming. I'm just 113 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 1: so glad to have you on. But actually, this Night 114 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: before Hollywood Shenanigan story brings me to my first question, 115 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: which is you gave birth to your child during COVID 116 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: at the same time close close friend of yours passed 117 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: away due to COVID, and I think it's really weird 118 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: that the same a party where someone told you not 119 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: to smoke, maybe so that you wouldn't die is the 120 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: same night that your husband decided that you may have kids. 121 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: And I just think that when you become a mom, 122 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: it's like death thoughts all the time. And I can't 123 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: even and that. And that's coming from someone who didn't 124 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: have a good friend die of COVID. So explained to me, 125 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: do you have this sick local life death thoughts all 126 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: the time? Like I do? I do? And I'm actually 127 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: I've been. I'm working on a live show that I 128 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: hope to be a film special literally about that that 129 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: which is the experience of giving birth. I gave birth 130 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: late March. The night I gave birth, I found out 131 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: Adam was sick. I didn't know Adam was sick um 132 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: and then he basically died the day after we took 133 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: her home from the hospital because she was also in 134 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: the nick you And so it was this huge wall 135 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: of of a death and sickness awareness at once and 136 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: a big question. And what the show I'm working on 137 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: is about, how do I live my life knowing that 138 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: death is real? Knowing I always knew death was real, 139 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: but like knowing you know, like on a heart level, 140 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: that death is real and can come any time, but 141 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: also not having it paralyzed me. And it was yeah, 142 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: I mean it was extremely traumatic. It was extremely formative. Uh. 143 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,679 Speaker 1: And it's funny. I talked to other moms who who 144 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: gave birth during this time, but because things were changing 145 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: so much, if you gave birth between like mid March 146 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: and like June, your experience might not be the same 147 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,319 Speaker 1: as as someone else. Like so, for instance, there were 148 00:08:55,400 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: fathers banned from delivery rooms. And I actually got induced. Uh. 149 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: My doctor basically was like, look, we don't know what 150 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: is going to happen. If the hospitals here anything like 151 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: New York, we are going to get inundated with patients. 152 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: So I want to get you in and out of 153 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: the hospital as quick as possible. Now, what ended up 154 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: happening was unrelated to me getting induced. My daughter was 155 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: in the Nike You. She ended up staying in the 156 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 1: hospital for five more days, and I was I was 157 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: really kind of freaking out because COVID was ramping up 158 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: and by then I knew Adam was sick, and it 159 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: was really it was so weird they still didn't have 160 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 1: us masking in the Nike You. It's really weird. So 161 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: so when when I gave birth, it was so early 162 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: in COVID. I wore a mask into the hospital, my 163 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: first time wearing a mask anywhere. I took off my 164 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: mask the second we got to the maternity floor. I 165 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: wasn't masked when I gave birth. When when my daughter 166 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: was in the nike I didn't have to wear a mask. 167 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: I had to wash my hands. It was the hand 168 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: washing thing. I didn't wear a mask around my daughter, 169 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 1: but I had to like do the whole scrub scrub, 170 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 1: scrub your thumb, scrubby wrists thing. And then my husband 171 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 1: and I couldn't be in the nikkei at the same time. 172 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: That was the COVID regulation that came in. And then 173 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: by the time we left the hospital, but my daughter 174 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: was still in the nikke you, my husband could not 175 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: go back in the hospital period. So my husband didn't 176 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 1: see my daughter for until she came until she got home. 177 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 1: I just like, there's so much death around us, and 178 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 1: it's really hard to like buy in and you gotta start. 179 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: And I got my start with my baby too. Like 180 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: you know, I had the experience where I was waiting 181 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: in line with pregnant women, like praying for someone to 182 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 1: give us a vaccine, and my O b because it 183 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:49,439 Speaker 1: wasn't the vaccines, weren't being pregnant, women were not considered 184 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: high risk yet um in terms of people who were 185 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: allowed to get vaccinated, and it started to get out that, 186 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, if you could get a vaccine, that 187 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: might help your baby not get COVID. I mean, anyway 188 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: we have we are all at this moment living to 189 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: tell this story, and it's just traumatic. I think what 190 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: we're all realizing too, is that the past years where 191 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: there was no pandemic was kind of an anomaly that 192 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: more of human history than not our war and pandemics. 193 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:28,679 Speaker 1: So I think that we're especially shocked because when you 194 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 1: don't have hardship and you're in a period of relative 195 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: like economic boom and safety, to be sincere about things 196 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: is not cool. You want to like talk about the 197 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:45,599 Speaker 1: fucking darkest ship, and that's not the way life is anymore. 198 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:52,680 Speaker 1: Things have cycled back to I mean chaos, which seems 199 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:57,560 Speaker 1: to be the stasis more often than not. Yeah, I 200 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: think we were all like someone came over my house 201 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: for life fourth and she was like, oh, I'm just realizing, 202 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: like it was like it was all a lie, but 203 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: we were like living in it for so long I 204 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: mean I definitely was. But to your point, like Shonda 205 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: Rhymes when she did Scandal, I mean, she's been on 206 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,839 Speaker 1: record saying like, you know, I don't know how long 207 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: Scandal would have lasted, but she was the one she 208 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: made the decision that the show was ending and there 209 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,319 Speaker 1: were no more stories to tell. But it was because 210 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: she's saying, you know, political shows really do well and 211 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: exist when the lights are on, uh in d C 212 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: and when things seem you know, like if you look 213 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,680 Speaker 1: at when west Wing was on, I was just about 214 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: to say west Wing being a liberal wet dream, right exactly. 215 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,719 Speaker 1: And same with Scandal, she was like the minute the 216 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: world when a different direction. She and all of a sudden, 217 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: it seemed like the d C we were telling about 218 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: was not even close to as bad as what was 219 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: really going on. It just didn't seem fun anymore. Um. Now, 220 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: talking about your husband, going back to that point, did 221 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: he not always want to be a parent and someone 222 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: convinced him at that party? And did you always want 223 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: to be a parent, Like it was a process. He 224 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 1: wasn't totally convinced at that party. So my husband and 225 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: I've been together almost fourteen years, and so we talked 226 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: about kids a lot. We were always talking about kids. 227 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: I haven't actually an old A O L I AM 228 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: conversation from when we were just friends, because we've known 229 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: each other for like seventeen eighteen years, and so we 230 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 1: were having an I AM conversation. I like went I 231 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: went in a while ago printed out all of our 232 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 1: old A O L conversations and I'm so glad I 233 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: did in some of our old G chats, and we 234 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: have like an early conversation where we were just friends 235 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: talking about like baby names. I don't know why. It 236 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: was just it was so random, and I was fully 237 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: not dating him. In fact, I was dating one of 238 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: his friends, so it makes no sense. But umlass, yeah, 239 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: my husband, he wasn't like never ever, but he's like, 240 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 1: I'm edging towards no. I could be convinced. You'd have 241 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 1: to like really convince me, and I was mildly on 242 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: the side of yes, but it wasn't part of my 243 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: kind of future identity. I wasn't like I want to 244 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: be a mom. It was just it was more of 245 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 1: a I think I want that for myself someday. But 246 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: you could also convince me no. So we both kind 247 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: of always saw both sides. I was more positive, he 248 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: was more negative, but we were kind of in that 249 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: middle road, and then he kind of stayed where he was. 250 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: I got a little more I want this, I want this, 251 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: I want this is frankly, I felt my biological clock 252 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: kicking and also crazy X was a majority mom's writer's room. 253 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 1: My writing partner, Lean is twenty years older than I am. 254 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: She's too now grown kids, and so I spent I 255 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: started to spend a lot of time practically with moms 256 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: in the workplace and seeing no, no no, no, you keep 257 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: your identity while also having kids, and I hadn't. I 258 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: just hadn't worked with moms much, and so that was 259 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 1: also It was definitely a factor, and I don't know, 260 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: I got him on board, and then I got pregnant 261 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: right away. He thought we'd be having fun trying for 262 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: six months. I got pregnant on the first cycle, poor guy. UM. 263 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 1: And then he found out he we were having a girl, 264 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 1: and he was that really helped. He really wanted a girl, 265 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: um for many reasons. And you know, he wasn't wrong. 266 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: It's really fucking hard, like we were both right. I 267 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: was right that I wanted to feel that love and 268 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: have that have that experience, and he was right that 269 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 1: it was going to change our fundamental dynamic in our 270 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: lives and be really hard. We were both right. It's 271 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: both things, and it's why I think a lot of 272 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: people who have kids suddenly become those people who were like, 273 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: at everyone has to have kids, or you're not having kids? 274 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 1: Why are you having kids? And I think there's a 275 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: little death protest too much in that, because I think 276 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: it's maybe the people who do that either they really 277 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 1: really love their kids and they want for everyone, or 278 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: they're trying to continue to tell themselves a story that yes, 279 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: having this was the right thing to do when everyone 280 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: needs to do this. I never tell anyone to have 281 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: a kid, but I'm trying to put myself in that 282 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 1: person's shoes, where if I was trying to bargain someone 283 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: to like not miss that boat. It's because I'm praying 284 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: that when I get to the end of my life 285 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: and I can really look at it, whenever that is, 286 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 1: and that split second, I will have said, I'm so 287 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: grateful I made that choice. I'm so grateful I was 288 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: a mom to somebody. I'm like you, I see all 289 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: sides of it. I'm like there are some days where 290 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: this is the best fucking thing ever. And there are 291 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: some days where I'm like, I cannot get on a 292 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: plane with a fake identity and like a different boyfriend 293 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: and like just do it different, like because this is 294 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: so fucking hard. Having a kid is so fucking hard. 295 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: I mean, one day I was like losing my mind. 296 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: My daughter was very, very upset. She was screaming, she 297 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 1: head butted me in the face, and then thirty minutes 298 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 1: later she was playing in a fountain and watching her 299 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 1: it was like, I've never felt such joy. It's like 300 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: I compared to living in New York the highs or 301 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: highs and the lows are low. Yes, it's harder than 302 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: we thought, but we went into this knowing it would 303 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: be hard. And so I mean, I've been thinking about 304 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: this a lot lately. Like I think a lot of 305 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: the world's problems are caused by people becoming parents who 306 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't be parents, and then they emotionally and or physically 307 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: abuse their children. Uh, and then there these children are 308 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: humans and adults walking amongst the world who haven't dealt 309 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,199 Speaker 1: with that horrible trauma and now they're awful. Yes, Like, 310 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 1: because you know the world is the world is bad 311 00:17:56,280 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: because of trauma, right, and being parents who shouldn't be 312 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: parents UM is one of the big traumas. And so like, 313 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: I'm amazed that you have to take a test to 314 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 1: drive a car, but there's no test to become parents, 315 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 1: or there's no like required class. It's insane. It's totally 316 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: insane and the quickest way I feel like why being 317 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 1: a parent. One of the many reasons why parenting is 318 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 1: hard is because anything you haven't worked out or looked 319 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: into or looked at about yourself, ah, a light is 320 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: shine on it, even more so with your child, Like 321 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: if you have people pleasing issues, or if you have 322 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: rage issues, or if you have patients issues, or if 323 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 1: you have a horrible relationship with your parents. I mean 324 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: just all of it is accentuated come to light even 325 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: further by this child that you've been given UM, And 326 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: so you've got to work out your own ship if 327 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: you want to be a good parent. Really, I mean really, Oh, 328 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 1: my husband and I did couples therapy when we decided 329 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: to get pregnant, just just to like preemptively do it, 330 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,640 Speaker 1: and then we were doing it all throughout us pregnant, 331 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 1: like just to do it just to like talk through issues, 332 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: talk through Okay, what's our family philosophy? It was awesome, right, 333 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: Like you don't learn until you get there. But you're like, oh, 334 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: are we those parents that like fight in front of 335 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: our kids? Do we not fight in front of our kids? 336 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 1: Do we raise our voices? Do we not raise our voices? 337 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 1: Do we sit down to a dinner table? Do we not? 338 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 1: What happens when the child asks if there's a god? 339 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: How do you talk to your children about death? I mean, 340 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 1: all of this ship is like big stuff that a 341 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: lot of times you don't even really have these conversations. 342 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 1: A lot of people don't have these conversations with their 343 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: significant other or partner if there is a partner in 344 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 1: this with them. Uh in how to raise a person 345 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 1: totally shifting gears, How was your pregnancy, I'd say six, 346 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 1: you know, which is about where you and your husband 347 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: were in the pro and five exactly, I would say sixty, good, forty. 348 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:21,159 Speaker 1: I never threw up. I don't throw up easily. I 349 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: was so nauseous all the time for the first three 350 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 1: and a half four months, and then I got pretty 351 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 1: bad back problems, back pain starting at six months to 352 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: where I had to like carry around a cushion, a 353 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: personal cushion everywhere we went. I couldn't. Basically, I needed 354 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: something to be bolstering the small of my back. You've 355 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: always been a larger size in the breast department, and 356 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: then I'm sure with pregnancy and breastfeeding that did not 357 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: help any back situation. No. So, so it was interesting 358 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: because I always had big boobs, but but I wasn't 359 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,159 Speaker 1: unhappy with them. I wasn't like I always had big 360 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,159 Speaker 1: boobs and I and yeah, there were like pains and 361 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: I did a song called heavy Boobs and I joke 362 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: about it. But like I never wanted a reduction or 363 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 1: craved reduction. When I got pregnant started breastfeeding, I went 364 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 1: from a double triple D to a G very fast, 365 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 1: and and the way that my G was it was 366 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: just no shape anymore. And I have a short torso, 367 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: so when you put a shapeless G on a short torso, 368 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,879 Speaker 1: my breasts were down in my belly button. And I 369 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 1: was like, I can't, I can't live my life like 370 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: so I had a reduction pretty soon. I mean I 371 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: had a reduction. Mm hmm. It was it was like 372 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: a year and a half after I gave birth, Wow, 373 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: and it was great. How was breastfeeding? How was that 374 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:51,119 Speaker 1: journey for you? I had a very drama free breastfeeding journey. 375 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 1: I only ever made about four ounces. Um, and my 376 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: daughter was They were like, I took a like quiz 377 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 1: one time, what what style of us feeding as your baby? 378 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: In her style was called piranha, which is that the 379 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: second she you put her on the nipples, she just 380 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: went on ringing, and so she was so hungry, so 381 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 1: very quickly I started supplementing with formula just because I 382 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: even at my fullest, I only ever made four ounces. 383 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: But but I made and I'm actually still lactating in 384 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: my left boob. If I squeeze really hard, I can 385 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 1: still get a drop out. It's real weird. Oh yeah. 386 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: I was with someone who will remain nameless, who hasn't 387 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 1: breast been in like seven or eight years, and we 388 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: were just like squeezing our nipples next to each other 389 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 1: in a bathroom because I had a clog, and she 390 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 1: just like squeezed out this like green fucking ooze, and 391 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:43,119 Speaker 1: I just was like green, that's like the body is insane. 392 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:48,160 Speaker 1: The body is so weird. Green. That's interesting, dark, deep 393 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: like Kale Green. Yeah, I don't know. It's like super colostrum, right, 394 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:59,159 Speaker 1: I think, So, how is your actual labor? I had 395 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: had this thing. I I basically had I guess what 396 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: you'd call Braxton Hicks because every time in my last 397 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 1: two months of pregnancy, every time I had to go 398 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I'd start getting up cramps like contractions, 399 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,360 Speaker 1: And then every time I went to the bathroom, I'd 400 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: get cramps again. It was just I think the way 401 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:21,120 Speaker 1: that the bladder putting pressure maters, so I was getting induced. 402 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: The first thing they do before they give you the 403 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 1: potoson is they give you a sailin. They just they 404 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: hydrate you with fluids. So what this do was it's 405 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: supercharged my bladder. It made me feel like I was 406 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 1: already going into labor, like I couldn't tell. I was like, wait, 407 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 1: am I going into labor right now? Because they it 408 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: was filling my bladder. I kept having to disconnect my 409 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 1: wires go to the bathroom. Finally, I tried to fall 410 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 1: asleep on a bedpan trying to get there, like trying 411 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: to get some They were like trying to get some 412 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: sleep before you go into labor. And this was like 413 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,360 Speaker 1: three am. I checked in midnight. At this point it's 414 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: three thirty am. I tried to sleep. I couldn't sleep. 415 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: I went up to go to the bathroom one more 416 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: time and then the contraction started kicking in from the 417 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: potosan and it felt like someone kicked me in the back. 418 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: Within twenty minutes, I had the epidural. I knew I 419 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 1: wanted the epidural. They came in and they were like, 420 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 1: what's your pain goal? And I and I was like two. 421 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: And they're like, okay, so you wanna have a little pain. 422 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 1: I was like, can I say zero? Because I never 423 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: I was never one of those people who was like, no, 424 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,880 Speaker 1: I'm going for natural birthway. My husband said something interesting, 425 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: which is and this is controversial, but he said that 426 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 1: women opting for no pain relief during childbirth. It's the 427 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,479 Speaker 1: equivalent of guys being like, how much can you bench? Bro? 428 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: There's a there's a pride in how much pain you felt. 429 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: That is a way I think some women lord over 430 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 1: other women. For me, I have a very low pain tolerance. 431 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: I am not having a baby to give birth. Epidurals 432 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: are wonderful. They're very effective, they're very safe and very calm. 433 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: And so I always knew I wanted an epidural. Um. 434 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 1: The epidural was painful. I mean, I mean I knew it. 435 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,239 Speaker 1: I kind of basically, I didn't read up on how 436 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,160 Speaker 1: painful and epidural was because I knew it would be painful. Um. 437 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 1: But I remember, right before getting the epidural, and I 438 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: was in labor, I said to my husband, I'm only 439 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 1: doing this once, as if he was the one who 440 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: pushed me to have a baby. He was like, okay, yeah. 441 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 1: And then I got the epidural. Oh, and then they 442 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: put a cafeter in me. Did you feel that? Oh? 443 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: My god, no, I didn't you so relieved because you 444 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: didn't stop worrying about belief. I fell asleep and there 445 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: was a bag around my ankle filling with piss and 446 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 1: I loved it. And my doctor woke me up to 447 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 1: break my water, and then she woke me up again 448 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: to be like, you're dilated. You need to start pushing. 449 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: So I was like, so, I like, I woke up 450 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 1: to push. My labor was twenty minutes when I started 451 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 1: actually pushing. Uh, And which is interesting because they say 452 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: epidurals extend labor. So my doctor was like, ha, do 453 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: you not at the epidural, it might have gone even 454 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,440 Speaker 1: like faster, which is crazy. Um. And then my daughter 455 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: was born with fluid inter lungs. And it's hard because, 456 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 1: like I sometimes blame myself. I'm like, oh, was my 457 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: labor short because I had an epidural? Did I do 458 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 1: that to her? Did her lungs get not expressed enough fluid? 459 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 1: And it's like, no, that this happens to babies all 460 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: the time. It's a thing called T t N, which 461 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 1: stands for transitory. It's where in your baby as fluid 462 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: and their lungs And that was crazy. That's my labor 463 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,880 Speaker 1: T t N, which again, what is that stand for? Again, 464 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,359 Speaker 1: I've actually never heard the technical medical term. Yeah, T 465 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,119 Speaker 1: t N here, I'm gonna look it up right now. 466 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 1: Transient tack to kypnea of the newborn. Oh. I see 467 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: after delivery as a baby breeze for the first time, 468 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,240 Speaker 1: the lungs fell with air and more fluid is pushed out. Um. 469 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,680 Speaker 1: Babies with T t M have just extra fluid in 470 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 1: their lungs. Um. And it's specifically called transient because it 471 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: doesn't last long and doesn't have any effect on development. 472 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: When she came out, was it obvious right away that 473 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: she was having a hard time breathing and there was 474 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 1: fluid in the lung? Yeah, yeah, I have it on. 475 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: I actually have it on, and it's like and it's 476 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 1: like you can tell she's going like I mean, like, 477 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: that's my impression of a baby trying to cry. I 478 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: didn't know because I had nothing to compare to. But 479 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: my doctor knew instantly. Was she bluish so purple just 480 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 1: just which I already knew she'd be, because like babies 481 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: coming out are pretty purple in general, but like she 482 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: was like purple. Wow, how what a wild wild I 483 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: can't imagine just being in COVID and like having this problem, 484 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,439 Speaker 1: with this feeling of like wanting to just get your 485 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 1: baby out of there. Maybe if the hospital was proving 486 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: seeming like something that was like not a safe place 487 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 1: to be in. Each pass an hour and day less 488 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: and less, so it was getting very stressful. So so 489 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: she was in the NIKE for five days. And then 490 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: I had a psychiatrist at the time who has since died, 491 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: which is a whole other presence of death in my life. Um, 492 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: my psychiatrist knew the head of the hospital, and he 493 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: was like he was like, what does your daughter have Again? 494 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,880 Speaker 1: I was like, she was t TN and he's like, hump, 495 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: why are they keeping her? I was like, I guess 496 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: to rule out infection and he's like, I think they're 497 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 1: keeping her as a formality. He's like, you need to 498 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 1: get her. You should get her out of the hospital soon. 499 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 1: Let me call the head of that He knew the 500 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,440 Speaker 1: head of the hospital. So because my psychiatrist knew the 501 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: guy around this hospital, I think they went to college together. Um. 502 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: I got her out two days sooner. Wow. Wait, speaking 503 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 1: about your psychiatrists, this is another thing I really want 504 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 1: to talk to you about. So you you were on 505 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: medication I'm not sure which one, but previously before getting pregnant. Yeah, yeah, prozac. 506 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: I just want to talk to being on medication during pregnancy, 507 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 1: during breastfeeding, and how you came to that decision, what 508 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: your support team of professionals looked like, etcetera. No one 509 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 1: ever said I should go off, I asked my psychiatrist, 510 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: I asked my O B du I N. I guess 511 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,080 Speaker 1: if i'd maybe been on a higher dosage. I'm on 512 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: ten milligrams of prozac, which is kind of the minimum dose. 513 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: Maybe if i'd been on higher dosages, they would have 514 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: talked about scaling back. But not only are s SR 515 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: eyes which stand which are antidepressants. It stands for I 516 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 1: believe selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Uh not only are they 517 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: do they not affect a baby, but but the but 518 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: the risk, The thing you want is for a calm 519 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 1: mother S SR eyes helped that. So I was never 520 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: counseled to go off the whole time. Did you feel 521 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 1: any postpartum depression anxiety at all considering you were dealing 522 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 1: with also a death of a friend or was it 523 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,959 Speaker 1: almost too I don't even know. I don't know. I mean, 524 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: here's the thing is, I don't I think I had 525 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: postpartum anxiety. I really I also had like pre part 526 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: of anxiety. I've always had trouble with so I have 527 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,400 Speaker 1: generalized anxiety disorder, which can sometimes go into intrusive thinking 528 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 1: which crosses into O c D land. So during big 529 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: periods of my life, whether it be good or bad, 530 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: just I will sometimes get intrusive thoughts because my brain 531 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: goes to like, I don't know, my brains in high 532 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: anxiety mode, and so it goes into intrusive thoughts because 533 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:34,120 Speaker 1: that's just how my brain chemistry works sometimes. So I 534 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: did have some intrusive thinking. Around the time I gave 535 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: I had some depression, especially my first trimester. The nausea 536 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 1: didn't help. And then I had some heightened anxiety around 537 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 1: the time I gave birth, and then Adam died and 538 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: we were in a pandemic, and I was depressed and 539 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: I had a newborn. So I can't really, I can't 540 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: tell you. It was just all really confusing. Okay, So 541 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: March twin to me, so she's she's over to now, 542 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: so she's over too. Was there ever a moment where 543 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 1: you woke up and you felt like yourself through all 544 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: of that, like you ever were like a year and 545 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: a half have gone by and you're like, I'm starting 546 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 1: to I mean, yeah, pockets, there were always pockets of that. 547 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: They're always pockets of feeling like myself. I think that 548 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: the journey has been integrating the two. A part of 549 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: my brain that is a mother and caring for my 550 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: child feels like a completely different part of my brain 551 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 1: than who I am is like a writer and after performer, 552 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 1: a friend. Even sometimes I feel that way. Do they're 553 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: just kind of apples and oranges, and it's why like 554 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: when we had moms in the Crazy ex Writer's room, 555 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: we had like a baby room, and I was like 556 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 1: surprised they didn't bring their kids in more. But now 557 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: I get it because it's two different parts of your brain, 558 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 1: almost especially when your kids are really little. Yeah, it's 559 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,360 Speaker 1: it's so romanticized in my head that I always have 560 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: my kids if I'm were you know, I just worked 561 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: on a project that it was like, you know, I 562 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: was working eighteen hour days for a month, and of 563 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: course I have my kids visit as much as possible, 564 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: but I always realize it's like that's like it's just 565 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: not great because my mind is in a different place 566 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: when you're working and you're in that sort of vibe 567 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: and it's like there, it's it's it's hard when you're 568 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: when you get your thirty minute lunch break and I 569 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 1: just go into I'm like, okay, just meeting my trailer 570 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: and let me do thirty minutes of like mommying, like 571 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna breastfeed he and I'm gonna make him feel 572 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,160 Speaker 1: connection and all this ship and it's like it's just 573 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 1: they are two different parts of my being in a way. 574 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 1: They function differently, and to sort of cram one into 575 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 1: the other is probably why your writers weren't bringing them 576 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,120 Speaker 1: in the room more. Yeah, you just it's just two 577 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: different It's just it's two different things. And I think 578 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm slowly integrating the part of myself. I also was 579 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 1: isolated for for a year because of COVID, So like 580 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 1: I very again, like I can only talk about my 581 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 1: experience as I had it. I'd be interested in the 582 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 1: parallel universe where COVID didn't happen, what it was like 583 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: for me, because when everyone locked down, I was locked 584 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: down with a baby, and no one really met her. 585 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: People would come to our front yard and see her outside, 586 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: but but like most people didn't meet her until she 587 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: was over a year, and in fact, there was just 588 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 1: um oh, she was a flower She was a flower 589 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: girl at my friend's wedding, and it was the first 590 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:51,000 Speaker 1: time some people met her, and that finally almost felt 591 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: like a coming out party of like, hey, everyone, I 592 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 1: have a kid now, Like I felt like I went 593 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: to hibernation and came out with a kid. So I'm 594 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: slowly integrating those two parts of of myself. And it's 595 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: because they're just they're just two different things. Were you 596 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: right in the in the in when you were giving 597 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: birth to your daughter and you said, this is the 598 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,280 Speaker 1: only time I'm doing this. Do you still feel that way? Yeah, 599 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 1: I think we're a one and done situation. I mean, 600 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but for numerous reasons, I think 601 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: the best version of our family is having one um. 602 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,800 Speaker 1: Part of the way I sold my husband on it 603 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 1: is like, let's do this one time. Let's have this 604 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,319 Speaker 1: beautiful one time experience. And then, aside from everything else, 605 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 1: I gotta say, the circumstances of her birth, through no 606 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 1: fault of hers, were fucking traumatic and I don't really 607 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,839 Speaker 1: want to go through that again. I think it would 608 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,880 Speaker 1: be reliving some trauma in a way. But but aside 609 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 1: from everything, I think we're a one in done And 610 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 1: I was an only child, so that's a template I know. 611 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: And she's the best. I love her. We're wrapping up, 612 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,320 Speaker 1: but I really want to talk to you because my 613 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: mom I read something that you. Your mom made you 614 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,440 Speaker 1: play an instrument. I believe there was something in your 615 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: house of like Mozart saying you'll thank me one day, kid, 616 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 1: or oh my god. Yes, I don't know where you 617 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 1: read that, but yes, we had yes. And you know, 618 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: we pick and choose whatever things we were raised with 619 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,919 Speaker 1: that we agree or disagree, or pass on or don't. 620 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: But one of the things you are passing on is 621 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 1: that you would like your daughter to play an instrument. 622 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter which one, but she's got to play something. 623 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 1: And my mom made me play piano till I was eighteen. 624 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god. We used to fucking fight Rachel fucking 625 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 1: Hem and Hall like please every single fucking day, joke, 626 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,240 Speaker 1: I mean not every day, every Tuesday for fucking thirteen years. 627 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,439 Speaker 1: Joe comes over at five thirty is me at six 628 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 1: o'clock was my brother, and she fucking forced us. And 629 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,319 Speaker 1: I have to say, I'm so you are right. You win. 630 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 1: Your mom wins, My mom wins. I don't know what 631 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,919 Speaker 1: else better I thought I would be doing at that time, 632 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,200 Speaker 1: that I have like a nice parlor trick in my 633 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,800 Speaker 1: back pocket, that I can fucking play a piano and 634 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: I can read a note, and like I have that 635 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: other language and I have that as it's such a gift. 636 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,960 Speaker 1: I wish she had done the same thing for the language. 637 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: To be honest, I like, you know what I mean, 638 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: Like now, I'm like shit, I know, I feel a 639 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,719 Speaker 1: little guilty. I thought, Oh, I'll raise her bilingual or whatever. No, 640 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:38,400 Speaker 1: or all just speaking English. So are you hoping for 641 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:43,919 Speaker 1: a instrument or do you really not care? I don't care. 642 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 1: She really likes playing our piano. We have two pianos 643 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: in the house. She loves playing them. I gotta say 644 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 1: she's already matching pitch. If I sing a song, she's 645 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,279 Speaker 1: already singing. Or my kids, And let me tell you, 646 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 1: I was fucking relieved. I think that's genetic. Also, someone 647 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: will remain nameless on Scan. But we were a big 648 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 1: singing cast on Scandal. It's so funny because such a 649 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: dramatic show. But as soon as they would call cut 650 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: on any single world, we were all singing at all times. 651 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: And my favorite, one of my favorite people on the 652 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:15,839 Speaker 1: show is incredibly tone deaf, like for real, like cannot 653 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,240 Speaker 1: hit a note that anyone around them is singing. It's insane, 654 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:24,080 Speaker 1: and I'm I'm feeling I felt really great when I 655 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: sing a song or my husband sings a song, and 656 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,320 Speaker 1: our son can just match whether we modulate or whatever. 657 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 1: He's like, there, aren't we relieved? Oh my god, I'm 658 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,200 Speaker 1: so relieved. One of the potential names. This isn't her name, 659 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: but one of the potential names we had for at 660 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 1: one point was Melody. And then my Alean pointed out, 661 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 1: She's like, that is just asking for a child to 662 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: be tone deaf. Really really, you're right, I'm not gonna 663 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: curse her with that. But she loves that. And then 664 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 1: we have a little toy guitar she loves playing, So 665 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 1: I'm fine with whatever. Why is it so important to 666 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 1: you that she does play something? I think what you're 667 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 1: saying it's it's just the skill that you can always have. 668 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 1: I think it helps you. Music is another language, and 669 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 1: I think it's a very important language. And to just 670 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: be keyed into what that language is, I think it 671 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,080 Speaker 1: extends to so many other things in life, and then 672 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,360 Speaker 1: you can like bust out, you know, good riddance to 673 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: the party. Hell yeah, walking in Memphis or some ship 674 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,960 Speaker 1: that's my husband's always go to. Um okay, very quickly, 675 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: where does religion come to play in your household? Uh? Well, 676 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 1: I wanted the age where the kid is like asking 677 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: lots accused. I mean I wanted to know ifive for 678 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,720 Speaker 1: some more than I do. I wanted to do the holidays, 679 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to understand the culture because my husband and 680 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 1: I are both Jewish, and but it's it's a cultural thing, 681 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: got it. Yeah, it's a cultural tradic You want to 682 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,800 Speaker 1: give her traditions that you enjoyed and loved and partook 683 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 1: and would like to actually know more about. I was 684 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: raised pretty secular, to be honest. So I think there's 685 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,359 Speaker 1: a there's a happy medium between how I was raised, 686 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 1: which is like, I mean, I don't regret it, but 687 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 1: I dropped out of Hebrew School when I was around 688 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,880 Speaker 1: eight because I wanted to do theater on the weekend, 689 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,760 Speaker 1: so I wasn't bough mitzvah. So I was raised very secular. 690 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 1: My husband was raised he would say conservatives. He went 691 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,439 Speaker 1: to Yeshiva until he was thirteen. He kept Kosher until 692 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 1: in college. He rapped, you know, he prayed every day. 693 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,280 Speaker 1: He rapped to fill in so some some some medium 694 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,880 Speaker 1: and he and he would say technically conservative, but compared 695 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 1: to I think Los Angeles Jews, it's technically like conservati 696 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,399 Speaker 1: docs but like they call it conservative, but like also 697 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,360 Speaker 1: he's rapping to fill in um. So I think the 698 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 1: happy medium between those things. Breastfeeding in public, did you 699 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: don't you did you care? Oh my god, I have 700 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 1: a little balcon I have a balcony in my house 701 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: that overlooks the entire street. The amount of people who 702 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: must have seen my tips had they just looked up? 703 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 1: I don't care. You're such an exhibitionist. You just are 704 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:03,240 Speaker 1: have you always? Uh? Well, I don't go around showing 705 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 1: my tits normally, although I did go topless at Radio 706 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,640 Speaker 1: City Music Hall, So I guess I am um, No, 707 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 1: I just it's just if your breastfeeding, it's how your 708 00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:15,280 Speaker 1: kid is fucking eating. It's just they're not sexual objects anymore. 709 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,439 Speaker 1: It's like this is this is my kids, Fawcett, Fuck 710 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 1: you yea and fun and fuck you for not being 711 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,040 Speaker 1: able to control your fucking boner because that's what it is. Yeah, 712 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: it's your fucking problem. It's not my fucking problem. It's 713 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,359 Speaker 1: not my problem. It's not my problem that you're such 714 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,040 Speaker 1: a monster that you can't control your fucking boner around 715 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,040 Speaker 1: me doing with my breasts what they're like naturally supposed 716 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 1: to be doing. Like, it's control your boner because I'm 717 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:48,640 Speaker 1: feeding my baby, you weirdo. I'm so grateful that you 718 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:53,000 Speaker 1: made time to come on Katie's Crib. I'm so interested 719 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,320 Speaker 1: to hear about the project in your show you're working 720 00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 1: on for I'm gonna put my email. I'm gonna put 721 00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,640 Speaker 1: my email in the chat to you right now. Okay, great. 722 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 1: I want everyone to listen and look out for whatever 723 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 1: you're working on that is about the local nature of 724 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:12,680 Speaker 1: life and death and motherhood. Yeah. Check it out. It's 725 00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,560 Speaker 1: like a live show. I'm doing a live show. Yeah. 726 00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,759 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, it's like a live special I'm working on. 727 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 1: When is that, uh it goes up. I've been putting 728 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,959 Speaker 1: it up at this theater Dynasty Typewriter, So it goes 729 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 1: up next July sevent and then it'll go up again 730 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 1: in August and then again in September, and I've just 731 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:37,120 Speaker 1: been kind of doing it. Non negotiable. Must come everyone listening, 732 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: if you're listening in this airs of that time, everyone 733 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:44,800 Speaker 1: must go. Um finish this sentence, Rachel Bloom. Parenthood is 734 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: parenthood is living in New York City. The highs or 735 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,839 Speaker 1: highs and the lows are low. Brilliant answer we've never had. 736 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 1: It makes perfect sense to me. Um. Thank you so 737 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,640 Speaker 1: much for coming on Katie's Crib. This was such a 738 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: joy and I hope you have a wonderful uh time 739 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,439 Speaker 1: putting your kid down tonight and on your family dog walk. 740 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:14,400 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for having me all right, guys, Wow, 741 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,440 Speaker 1: we did it. That's it. That's our last episode of 742 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,320 Speaker 1: season five. Thank you to all my awesome guests this 743 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,040 Speaker 1: season for being so brave and for sharing your personal 744 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:28,000 Speaker 1: experiences and advice. And always thank you listeners for subscribing 745 00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,960 Speaker 1: and spreading the word about Katie's Crib. Yes, the season 746 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 1: maybe ending, but don't you worry season six who We'll 747 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 1: be coming at you in There's so many more topics 748 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 1: to explore and share it. In the meantime, be sure 749 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 1: to email me the names of guests that you want 750 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,239 Speaker 1: to hear from or topics that you'd like me to 751 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,439 Speaker 1: talk about. You can always reach me at Katie's Crib 752 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,319 Speaker 1: at Shanda land dot com. Oh, make sure you also 753 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 1: subscribe to the show so that you'll be the first 754 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,800 Speaker 1: to know when season six is returning. And of course, 755 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,680 Speaker 1: if you haven't done so already, follow Katie's Crib on 756 00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,320 Speaker 1: Instagram and Twitter. Will be dropping news there too for 757 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,319 Speaker 1: when the new season drops. Until then, see you all 758 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:10,360 Speaker 1: in season six. I Love you. Katie's Crib is a 759 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,439 Speaker 1: production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with I heart Radio. 760 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,879 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from shondalan Audio, visit the iHeart Radio app, 761 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.