WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: EP 9 - Donielle, Part 1 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:07.320 One of my children saw his dad dressed all in black, 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:10.440 and he said that it seemed like his dad was 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:13.000 mad at him because he yelled at him to go 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:16.000 back to bed. And the night before that, he had 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:21.040 actually told my oldest child to rap a sledgehammer that 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:23.959 we had that had a really bright yellow handle in 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:27.760 black electric tape and find a black raincoat for him 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:28.319 to wear. 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:44.440 And she was like, okay, Dad, I'm Anderrea gunning. And 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.520 this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:54.000 the most and the deceptions that change everything. One night 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:57.880 in twenty seventeen, Danielle Oliver Chauve was awoken by the 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:01.280 FBI in state police. They were pointing guns at her, 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:05.480 demanding to know where her husband was. That night, she 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:08.480 learned the man she had spent twenty years with was 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.920 hiding some very big secrets. This is don Yelle's first 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:16.600 time telling her story. She's been reluctant to share what 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:19.639 she went through because, as you'll hear in part two, 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.880 her husband has other victims. She wants to be respectful 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.959 of their experience and suffering. But this episode isn't about 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.640 her husband's crimes. It's about the twenty year marriage Donyelle 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.040 built with him, the ways he deceived and violated her, 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.560 and the shocking betrayal that ended it all. It's also 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.200 the story of being totally in the dark about your 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:43.440 partner's double life. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:48.560 I used to watch Lifetime shows and I used to 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:51.040 be that person saying, oh, she had to know something. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.040 So I totally understand why people say things like that. 0:01:56.560 --> 0:02:00.720 But until you were actually walking in those shoes and 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:04.800 living with a person who can be completely double faced, 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:10.440 living a completely separate life, all I know is the 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:13.600 life that he had with me and our kids. That's 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.840 all I saw. He was able to do everything else 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:18.720 completely separate. 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:28.839 Danielle grew up in a happy, tight knit family in California. 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.160 Family is very important to me. We were just over 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:34.280 in my parents, all of my siblings, and we all 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:38.280 just get along really well. There's hardly ever any arguments 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:41.160 within our family, and when there is, it's results within 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:41.519 the day. 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.760 Growing up, Danielle's parents were her role models. They had 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:49.360 a respectful and happy marriage. It was an environment that 0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:52.040 nurtured her easygoing and trusting nature. 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.560 I had a really good childhood and so I didn't 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.160 grow up with a lot of strife or bad things 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:02.080 happening in my childhood where that trust was broken down. 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:06.880 She was raised with a strong sense of faith. That's 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:08.600 still one of her core values. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.280 I know some religions can be like really strict, you 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:14.359 can do this, you can't do this. I wouldn't even 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:17.680 say that mine is a religion. It's a relationship with christ. 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.960 Donielle is one of those rare people who loved high school. 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.240 She was popular and she had a long time high 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.040 school boyfriend named Billy. 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.240 When we were teenagers. Everybody thought for sure that we 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.840 were just going to be together forever, you know, we 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:35.560 were the thing. 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:39.480 Right before their senior year of high school, Billy proposed 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.280 to her and she said yes. 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.600 But then I actually had to move to Hawaii because 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.080 my dad was working for a military and we moved there. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.480 She ended up spending her senior year in Hawaii. Then 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.880 she got accepted to college in Illinois. She was ready 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.480 to start a new life there without her high school boyfriend. 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.680 Giving up her first love was hard, but she wanted 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:09.360 to prioritize her independence. Danielle thrived in college. She loved 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.240 her major, which was art, and she also loved going 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:16.440 to Bible study on campus. That's where she met Chad. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:18.920 He was raising his hand and answering the questions like 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.840 right away, and he was answering the way I would 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:24.320 have answered those questions, right in line with the way 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:24.880 I believed. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:30.320 So I was attracted to that immediately. She knew Chad 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:31.880 was special the. 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.680 First time I met him. I said to my parents 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:36.320 when I got back that I was going to marry him. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:38.640 So it was pretty much love at first sight. 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:43.160 She felt comfortable around Chad. It was easy, like they'd 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:44.719 known each other for years. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.000 We actually met at my parents' house and watched a 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:51.200 couple movies and I made amazagna and he changed my 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:56.719 oil in my car. That was her first date. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.800 From the start, Donielle was serious about Chad. 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:03.560 When i'm dating someone that I'm deciding whether or not 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:05.800 this person is the person I want to marry. So 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.800 I was looking for specific things that I wanted in 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.360 a husband when I was dating him. 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.640 And Chad checked all the boxes. 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:17.279 There was lots of things. He grew up in a 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.640 Christian home, He had a good relationship with his parents. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:25.359 He was business minded, like he was able to support me. 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:29.640 Everything about him felt right. He was pursuing a degree 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:33.000 in finance, he had dreams of starting his own business, 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.240 and like her, he also wanted a big family. But 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:40.480 most of all, she just loved being around him. 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:42.960 I had fun with him, you know, we would laugh 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:47.120 about lots of things. I was just attracted to the 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:48.320 way I felt around him. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.359 While they were dating, he went above and beyond to 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:51.840 woo her. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.320 Something about Chad, you have to know he likes to 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:57.920 do everything big. It always has to be the best 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.520 and the grandest and the most showy. 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:03.719 It's not who she is, but Chad said she deserved 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:08.360 the best, and it was flattering. After about two years 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:12.000 of dating, he made a particularly grand gesture. He bought 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:15.880 her an expensive dress, rented a limousine, and took them 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:16.960 to a dinner theater. 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:20.960 And during that intermission he excused himself. I thought he 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:23.760 was going to use the restroom, but he actually turns 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:27.400 out had set up beforehand with the theater that he 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.720 would go on stage and asked me to marry him 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.680 from the stage. And then he got down on his knee. 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:36.080 And yeah, it was quite the show. 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:39.600 She said. Yes, he brought her out of her comfort 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.000 zone and it felt like a fairy tale. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:45.440 I was one hundred percent this is the one I 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:46.800 had to spend the rest of my life with. 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.440 Chad was involved in every step of the wedding planning, 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.599 which Donielle loved, and he also wanted to go to 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:58.040 pre marriage counseling to discuss their expectations. 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:01.280 We discussed who would be the breadwinner in the home, 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:04.240 you know, what would be the different roles of both 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:06.839 husband and wife, as far as who did what in 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:11.000 the household. It was thoroughly discussed how our marriage would 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.280 go before we got married, I mean, as far as 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.440 you can. We did know that I wanted to be 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.760 a stay at home mom, so that was talked about. 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.720 Danielle had been managing her own money in her early twenties, 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.160 and although she was good at it, it was a 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:29.160 relief to be marrying someone who had expertise in finance. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:33.000 It made her feel safe, and so they agreed that 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:36.800 while she would manage the household, Chad would manage the money. 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.360 And I had full trust in Chad to be able 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:43.120 to do that too, because of his business degree. He 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.880 was really good at money, and so he went to 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:49.160 school for it. I didn't have any you know, worries 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:51.720 about him taking over the finances for the family. 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.200 She was happy with this arrangement. She's a do it 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:58.680 yourself kind of person. It's an attitude that's well suited 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:00.880 to raising kids and the household. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:05.200 My dishwasher broke down several years ago, and I wasn't 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.320 about to pay somebody because I'm going to figure out 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.360 how to fix it. I laid all the flooring in 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:10.880 the house that I'm in right now. I don't know 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:12.960 how to do that, but I looked it up, just 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:17.320 went on YouTube and figured it out. So I'm that 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:18.000 type of person. 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.680 After they got married, the couple decided to move to 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:24.960 Chad's hometown in Illinois. To call it a small town 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:29.160 is an understatement. The entire population could fit in one 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.240 high school football stadium. 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.559 Well, the town we live in, Erie is only nineteen hundred. 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:40.040 It's small, small, but perfectly suited to the life that 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:45.199 they were building, a life that centered around family and community. Plus, 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.120 Chad had grown up there, so he knew nearly everyone 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:52.360 in town, and everyone seemed to adore him. In fact, 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:56.760 he'd been the high school valedictorian. Once they moved back 0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:00.760 to Erie, the couple also joined Chad's church, the church 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:01.800 he grew up in. 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.880 We were really involved with that church, and his parents 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.040 went to that church too, and we led a Sunday 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.040 school together. As a couple, their. 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.439 Life was falling into place. A happy marriage, a strong 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.920 foundation based on shared values, a community that supported them, 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:20.840 and a church they felt welcomed by. And Chad was 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:24.640 making progress in his career. He began the certification process 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.920 to become a financial advisor. He wanted to start his 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:28.400 own firm. 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:33.880 He did it all online. I went through classes online 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:36.280 and got his certificate online and all that. 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:39.800 She was proud of him, and for the time being, 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:41.320 she kept working too. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.640 I also worked for the post office for a little bit, 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:48.440 but that was not part of our marriage plan. I 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.719 didn't want to be a working mom. I wanted to 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.480 be a stay at home mom. Pretty much as soon 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:55.280 as we got married, we started trying. 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:59.360 But conceiving their first baby didn't happen as quickly as 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:03.960 Danielle hoped. The months turned into a year, and during 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:07.000 that year, Chad made a shocking confession. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:12.040 He came home from work and sat me down and said, 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:16.320 I need to tell you something really important and just said, 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.600 I had an accounter with a guy in the bathroom, 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:21.120 and I think we need to go see somebody and 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.760 talk to like a counselor about it. And so I 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:29.560 was just like, what is going on? It just blindsided me, 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.120 Like what just happened. 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.160 She asked him point blank if he was gay. He 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:38.320 said no, he wasn't. She wanted more details about what 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:42.000 actually happened, who it was with, and what they did. 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:46.120 But he never really gave a straight answer. It was 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:48.520 just we need to go talk to somebody, like a 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:49.400 counselor about it. 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:06.040 Donielle was shaken and confused about her husband's confession to 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:09.560 a one time playing but at the same time, Chad 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:13.920 was doing everything he could to make it right. He 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:17.400 confessed to it immediately, he wanted to get help, and 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:21.160 most importantly, he was coming to her with sincere remorse. 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:26.000 He was crying, I was crying. He was saying sorry. 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:30.000 Chad wanted to get help quickly, and so the next 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:31.040 day they did. 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.960 We actually went to the pastor and asked for advice 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.800 about who we should see as a marriage counselor for us. 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:41.160 We were given a name of a Christian counselor. 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:45.640 They had multiple sessions with the counselor, some sessions together 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:49.280 as a couple and some separately. During a one on 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.920 one meeting, the counselor gave Danielle some advice. 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:59.719 He advised me, you should really think carefully about this marriage. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.400 You know, you actually have a right to end this 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.280 marriage if he is being unfaithful to you. 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.400 The counselor said he'd seen a situation like this before, 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.160 and he wanted Danielle to know that divorce was an option. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:17.240 I understood that. I knew that that's something that it's 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.320 perfectly fine for me to file for a divorce, but 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.160 I didn't want to. I wanted to make this marriage work. 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.520 I didn't even want the word divorce to come up 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.560 in our marriage. Like when I made a commitment in 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:34.960 our marriage at the wedding ceremony, My promise was a promise. 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:39.400 I didn't take my vows lightly in sickness and in health, 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.760 or Richard for poorer. I was going to walk through 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:46.240 it with him. I wanted to help him resolve whatever 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:48.680 it was that he was going through because I loved 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.640 him and I wanted our marriage to work. 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:56.400 This one infidelity it felt small and manageable, especially compared 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.960 to the years they'd spend together getting to know each other, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.880 studying the Bible together and building a life. She really 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:05.959 trusted Chad. 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.680 I felt like I could trust him even though he 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.000 had done whatever he had done. I believed him one 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:14.560 hundred percent. 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:19.679 They got a workbook on overcoming infidelity and even did 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:22.959 the homework together, and they decided to lean on their 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:27.360 faith to help them rebuild their relationship. Church became an 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.000 even bigger part of their lives. 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.560 He was an elder in the church. We jointly were 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:38.440 leaders for kids Christian camps. We were very involved in 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:38.920 our faith. 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:43.280 Their marriage began looking up, especially when a year later 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.880 they welcomed their first baby, a baby girl. 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:52.840 She was an amazing first child, super easy baby, smiling 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:57.319 all the time, happy, alert. It was a great, great 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.520 first mom experience. 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.280 Donielle was on top of the world, so filled with 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:07.440 love for her first daughter and her young family. It 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.960 confirmed to her that she really did want to be 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.200 a stay at home mom. She just felt whole. 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:17.040 People that we would meet walking through a mall always 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:20.480 stop and say, oh, you have the cutest baby. She's 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.320 the cutest thing I've ever seen, and your family is 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.320 so cute. 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.280 The difficulties she and Chad faced in the first year 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:29.480 of marriage started to feel like they were in the 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:30.360 rear view mirror. 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:35.440 At that point, I felt totally in love with him 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.320 and close to him. I felt like I had the 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:40.920 perfect life. 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.680 That baby would be the first of six. 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:47.160 I knew that you could get pregnant even when you 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:51.080 were still nursing, and before you had your first cycle 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:53.600 after pregnancy. I didn't think it was going to happen 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:54.720 to me, but it did. 0:14:55.320 --> 0:15:00.120 Soon. Donielle's life became consumed by full time childcare. As 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.360 their kids got older, she started homeschooling them, and she 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:04.760 loved every minute of it. 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:07.120 I wouldn't have it any other way. And a lot 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.320 of people are like, wow, sixth kids, that's a lot, 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:13.000 but you know, each one of them is unique and 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:17.320 has their own personality. Each of them is just amazing. 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.920 I love it. I absolutely love it. 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:25.440 With a growing family came more financial demands, but luckily 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:29.400 Chad's business was taking off. They even had the ability 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:30.640 to upgrade their house. 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:33.760 He had been starting to look at this property that 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.000 he really wanted. It was a huge house, way bigger 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:40.520 than we needed. Enormous, huge living room, huge family, a 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:44.040 huge dining room, huge huge master bedroom. You know basement 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.720 that looked like a bowling alley, and so he started 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:51.160 looking at it and dreaming about it and eventually decided 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:52.880 that he was going to try to purchase it. 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.480 Danielle didn't think it was the most practical choice, but 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.760 the house made him happy. After they moved in, he 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.440 tried to tell her how to run the house, but 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:06.840 she stood her ground. She trusted him to handle the finances, 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.960 so when it came to the housework, he needed to 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:10.560 trust her. 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.520 He wanted me to do things a certain way, like 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:17.160 do laundry on a certain day, do the dishes on 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.120 a certain day, or you know, do dusting on a 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.080 certain day. And I was like, no, I will do 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.160 it when it needs to be done. When I see 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:27.480 that it needs doing, I'll do it, you know. 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.640 And there were a lot of things that needed dusting. 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:37.200 Chad was a collector. It was a quirk that Danielle accepted. 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:41.160 Precious moments, figurines, and he was very much in a 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:46.520 Hallmark fan, so he had millions of Hallmark ornaments, tons 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:50.920 of DVDs. I mean we had two huge walls full 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:51.880 of DVDs. 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.040 They loved watching movies as a family, and after the 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:59.400 kids went to bed, the couple would watch their favorite TV. 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.040 Shows, Dexter and Breaking Bad. 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.880 Every summer, Danielle, Chad and their six kids would take 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:10.320 family road trips. 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:17.600 Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, we had all the 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.880 tourist places in the United States. We had a lot 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.320 of really fun times as family. 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:28.879 On these trips, they'd stay in huge rental homes. Chad 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:32.200 always wanted the best of the best for the family, and. 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:36.840 They were very nice, very nice rented houses. Some of them. 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:40.600 I was like, okay, guys, don't touch anything, you know, 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:45.520 like expensive paintings on the walls and glass decorations. 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.159 One summer, about fifteen years into their marriage, the family 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:52.240 was on one of their regular road trips, and on 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.720 this trip, their rental home was in a remote area. 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:01.399 I woke up around between the morning, I know, it 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:04.080 was the middle of the night. All the kids were asleep, 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:07.080 and I got up to go to the bathroom or 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:10.400 something and turned over and he was not in bed 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:14.399 with me. I looked around the house to see if 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.760 he was just up somewhere. He was not there. I 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:21.359 went out into the garage area. The car was gone, 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:26.160 so I started being like, where did he go? There 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:28.639 was no note as far as he left somewhere. He 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.760 didn't leave a message on my phone. He was just gone. 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.600 It was the early two thousands, so she didn't have 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.720 a smartphone to look at his location. She started to 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:40.520 worry that something terrible happened. 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:44.920 So I started calling around to the hospital around the 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:50.320 area and is there any child skipper admitted into this hospital? No, ma'am, 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.320 thank you, call the next hospital. 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:56.960 Around three am, the phone rang. It was Chad. 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:01.919 And he said he was at law and I was like, okay, 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.840 why are you at Walmart? I just thought I would 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.520 pick up some stuff. But you know, you can kind 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.119 of tell when somebody's calling from the middle of a store. 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.439 You can hear the hum of everything. There was no 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:19.160 shopping cart sounds, no like cashier beeping and stuff. There 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.159 was none of that. It did not sound like he 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:28.240 was in a shopping area. I hung up the phone 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:31.840 and just was like, how what is happening? I don't understand. 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.159 Says he's are in Walmart, but it's hours away. That 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:37.879 doesn't make any sense. And I just sat in confusion, 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:39.359 shaking until he got home. 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:43.920 When Chad got back, he tried to explain it away and. 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.119 He apologized and said I'm sorry I didn't tell you 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:49.480 where I was going. You know, everything's fine, You're good, 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:55.760 the kids are good, I'm back, We're safe. He blew 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:56.120 it over. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:00.240 Whenever they got in a disagreement. This is what he'd 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:00.680 tell her. 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:05.280 His favorite phrase was, don't make a mountain out of 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:08.040 a mole hill. You know, you just get really emotional 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:14.439 about things. It's okay, you know, calm down. Always made 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:15.000 me feel like. 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:18.560 I was crazy abandoning the family in a rental house 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.400 in the middle of the night with no good explanation. 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.960 It just didn't sit right with her, so Donielle called 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:25.399 her mom. 0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:28.160 She was like, oh, wow, yeah, that is really weird. 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:30.440 I'm glad you're okay. You know, I'm glad it all 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:32.040 worked out, but that is really weird. 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:36.840 Donielle was the full time caretaker for six children under fifteen. 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:39.880 She didn't have the energy to fight with her husband. 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:43.639 I didn't confront him. That's one of my personality quirks 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:48.480 is I don't like confrontation. I would rather just not 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:51.879 talk about it than have a huge argument about something, 0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:56.879 which is not healthy. I think it's much healthier to 0:20:56.920 --> 0:21:02.560 communicate and work it out. But at that point, I 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:04.360 just didn't want to deal with it. 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:08.760 Plus, whenever she did question him, it always ended up 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:09.840 coming back on her. 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.840 On the rare occasions when I would ask questions, I 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:17.439 would be shut down and told I was crazy or 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.959 that is totally not how it went. You have blown 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:25.359 this out of proportion and you don't remember the actual 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:28.640 fact that actually happened. This is how it actually happened. 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:48.160 When Donielle woke up on a family vacation to find 0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:50.879 her husband missing, he said he was picking up something 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:53.800 for work at a Walmart in the middle of the night. 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:58.400 She didn't quite buy the story, but she knew Chad 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:02.840 was busier than ever growing his financial advising firm. Around 0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:05.680 the same time, he decided to start making passive income 0:22:06.080 --> 0:22:09.640 by buying rental properties in town. It started with one 0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:14.440 small house, then two, then an apartment building in their hometown. 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:17.440 He was so busy that he often worked from home 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:21.720 at nights. He renovated their basement to become his home office. 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:24.720 He even put in a king sized bed. 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.159 I didn't understand why you would need a bed in 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:31.359 your office, but he insisted on having it, and his 0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:33.520 reasons were that if he needed a nap, he could 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.600 just hop in the bed and take a quick nap 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:36.760 and then get back to work. 0:22:37.720 --> 0:22:40.639 It bothered her him staying up late like this and 0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:43.879 sleeping in his office. It also bothered her that he 0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:47.479 locked the door. He said it was a security measure 0:22:47.680 --> 0:22:50.560 because he had important financial documents in there. 0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:53.000 And in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, well, 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:55.439 how do you work at night? If you are a 0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:59.520 financial advisor, you can't meet with clients at night. So 0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:01.359 it was just it was very confusing to me, and 0:23:01.400 --> 0:23:03.680