Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I am just really excited about today's show because
Speaker 1: we have Miles ad Cox coming on the show and
Speaker 1: he is the co founder of on Site Workshops, which
Speaker 1: is where I went from my retreat intensive four and
Speaker 1: a half days, six individual hours a day with a
Speaker 1: therapist in a room and no phone. We missed you.
Speaker 1: I missed you, guys. It was very Although it's like
Speaker 1: a day one captain's log. Dear Janna, this is what
Speaker 1: I wanted to share with you today, but I didn't
Speaker 1: get a chance to letters to camp. But it was
Speaker 1: an amazing experience. And there's I just I really want
Speaker 1: him to come on to um talk about that special
Speaker 1: place that it is and what people can expect to
Speaker 1: go there, and um, yeah, it's just a it's a
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful place. And I feel like do I
Speaker 1: say this? I just I mean, I could go there
Speaker 1: all the time. It's so great. But I'm excited for Chicago.
Speaker 1: I'm ready, guys. It's been hard to not be with you.
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to one every day. Well
Speaker 1: actually I kind of needed like I didn't need a break. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he added detox. I needed a wine. I haven't
Speaker 1: had a much wine in a long time. I drink
Speaker 1: a lot. It's like sweating on Tuesday. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that. I'm pretty sure that's Gabernet. I
Speaker 1: think I need to take a deep breath. Oh god,
Speaker 1: those shows were so much fun. But we are going
Speaker 1: to add new dates. I think we're we're looking at
Speaker 1: New York, We're looking at Cali, We're looking at those
Speaker 1: girls are already they are like all about my ig,
Speaker 1: like when you come into Michigan, but I might need
Speaker 1: a Michigan sweatshirt at duh. It's a homecoming Michigan. I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to do whatever. You are not fine, It's fine,
Speaker 1: we are. She doesn't want to tell you, so she's
Speaker 1: more Michigan than people that don't know how. I don't
Speaker 1: play every time. I learned I was drunk in college.
Speaker 1: I just want everyone to know that. And I don't
Speaker 1: remember the rule. We'll be drinking wine down, so we'll
Speaker 1: teach you then and I'll forget again. Okay, speaking of patterns, Miles,
Speaker 1: I've got let's get him on in. Well, thank you.
Speaker 1: I know that you are jet lagged from from the
Speaker 1: from the wedding in the troup, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of planes right now. Ever,
Speaker 1: feel like everyone gets delayed every like right now, it's
Speaker 1: like so bad. So I don't know what's going on,
Speaker 1: but definitely you want your patients test to go fly right.
Speaker 1: I've heard that people are saying that if you have
Speaker 1: like an actual speaking engagement, or if it's like for business,
Speaker 1: that you should book at least two flights, two separate airlines,
Speaker 1: because that's the chances of one getting canceled. Is so
Speaker 1: in your favor right now that to have a backup plan,
Speaker 1: that's not a bad idea noted for next time when
Speaker 1: you're not at Britney Spears's wedding. Um okay, so Miles
Speaker 1: and I go way back. I met Miles Scott how
Speaker 1: many years ago? Fifteen years ago, even more? Yeah, probably
Speaker 1: even more than that. I believe it was at Vanderbilt
Speaker 1: Children's Hospital. Good memory, thank you. Um yeah, I remember
Speaker 1: meeting you there and then um some Miles in which
Speaker 1: we've already talked about. But he I'll let you go
Speaker 1: into where you started because I'm I would mess it up.
Speaker 1: But just give the background because we're we obviously I
Speaker 1: talked to some about some about on site, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna ask you some questions around that and
Speaker 1: the other things. But can you just give a brief
Speaker 1: description of on site because that's kind of the focus
Speaker 1: of what we were talking about earlier in the show. Sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: on site is something I'm really proud to get an
Speaker 1: opportunity to own and and and run and be part
Speaker 1: of an amazing team. I made a pivot back gosh,
Speaker 1: almost two decades ago. That's aging me. But I was
Speaker 1: in the entertainment space for a brief period working on
Speaker 1: the business side of sports, and kind of hit a
Speaker 1: patch in my own life where I needed some support
Speaker 1: and I got it. Thankfully, the right people came around
Speaker 1: me at the right time, and I just had a
Speaker 1: real lights coming on moment and new I wanted to
Speaker 1: shift gears and be a part of helping people evolve
Speaker 1: and and just become the best versions of whole I
Speaker 1: know they can be in their relationships and with themselves.
Speaker 1: And so that to me took me in the lane
Speaker 1: of psychology, and I did some more training and education
Speaker 1: and got into the space and have been in it
Speaker 1: now for quite some time and operated and run several programs,
Speaker 1: but the one I spend most of my time with
Speaker 1: and the one that I'm probably known for, is on
Speaker 1: site and on side as an emotional wellness retreat offering.
Speaker 1: We offer personal growth retreats, intensive self development work, um,
Speaker 1: you know, intensive therapy programs. And then I've also got
Speaker 1: some longer term options too, And we've got our main
Speaker 1: campus is just outside Nashville, about forty five minutes on
Speaker 1: a couple hundred acres a beautiful farm. And then we've
Speaker 1: got a second location we just added in San Diego
Speaker 1: County in southern California. So that's the very very quick version.
Speaker 1: But I'll be happy to get granular and tell you
Speaker 1: anything you want to know about it. Well, CHRISTI wants
Speaker 1: to know how we can get her husband there. I
Speaker 1: was like, so, we've got offered my husband and I
Speaker 1: got offered to go do a four day intensive there.
Speaker 1: But then COVID hit and so, and I'll be honest
Speaker 1: at the time when the offer came through, it was like,
Speaker 1: how do I leave my kids and unplugged for four days?
Speaker 1: Because I have like what some might classify as anxious
Speaker 1: attachment whatever when it comes to my children, So I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, yeah, okay, and you too. I really
Speaker 1: didn't miss you guys. It's weird and we're together and
Speaker 1: then not together. But I thought four days is a
Speaker 1: long time, and I just it's so funny because I
Speaker 1: knew that I got the chance to talk to you today,
Speaker 1: and I started thinking about on Site again this morning,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I actually think four days feels
Speaker 1: like something I would do now because you, you and
Speaker 1: on Site are behind so many successful marriages on the
Speaker 1: country music side of like my world that I just
Speaker 1: can't imagine. I can't imagine what four days to actually
Speaker 1: just like think would be like at this point in
Speaker 1: my life. No, no, no no, please, please please you. First
Speaker 1: of all, I can I can relate, and I know
Speaker 1: what's behind the curtain. I'm a advocate of the work
Speaker 1: both is uh, you know, someone who delivers it, but
Speaker 1: also somebody who participates in it. I believe in it
Speaker 1: enough that I do at least one tune up a
Speaker 1: year for myself or my my marriage. And but every time,
Speaker 1: even though I know it's going to be beneficial and
Speaker 1: we've that that at four day window is really tried
Speaker 1: and true. Once people had an experience with us. Then
Speaker 1: we can get creative and curate shorter experiences like two
Speaker 1: days or three day or even one day or a
Speaker 1: half day. But for the first time, if you're coming
Speaker 1: in as a couple or as an individual, that we've
Speaker 1: really researched that amount of time and it it, you
Speaker 1: would think it it's gonna be monumentous to be able
Speaker 1: to step away from family obligations and things for four
Speaker 1: full days, but you'd be shocked at how fast it
Speaker 1: goes once you're there. But I want to humanize it
Speaker 1: and say every year I know it's going to be beneficial.
Speaker 1: I even get excited about it now. In some years,
Speaker 1: I've got stuff I really need to unpack, you know,
Speaker 1: I might be in a high stress season, and there's
Speaker 1: other years things are going quite well and I just
Speaker 1: want to do a tune up, just just for prevention sakes.
Speaker 1: But every time I stress and struggle about the time away,
Speaker 1: I think it's just human nature when we're in a
Speaker 1: rhythm and routine and suddenly it's going to be disrupted.
Speaker 1: Especially to do a digital clans like we do at
Speaker 1: our place, that definitely promotes some anxiety so you're not
Speaker 1: alone there and having some trepidation about coming. I will
Speaker 1: say too, there's something that um because I called Miles
Speaker 1: probably was probably two months ago, and I was just
Speaker 1: like I need to come now, like right now, like
Speaker 1: I'm in crisis mode. I can't shut my brain off,
Speaker 1: like I'm not good, and I just you know, we
Speaker 1: we talked through you know what I'm because I've obviously
Speaker 1: had been on set before two times before that, and
Speaker 1: and I remember talking to him too. And then when
Speaker 1: I saw you there because you you came with your
Speaker 1: family and there was um there was for some reason,
Speaker 1: I felt shame around it, going like how am I
Speaker 1: here again? And you definitely made me feel so much
Speaker 1: better when you said that you tune up to and
Speaker 1: things come up and I'm like, okay, so like because
Speaker 1: I almost felt I felt like a failure coming back.
Speaker 1: It's not a place you graduate from, right, That's what
Speaker 1: I loved. When you just said that to you, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, tune up like it just made it
Speaker 1: so that makes it sound better versus like oh I
Speaker 1: have to go or yeah, like I thought I thought
Speaker 1: I fixed that twelve years ago when I went that
Speaker 1: one time, and then I thought I fixed it the
Speaker 1: next time, and I'm like, how am I here again?
Speaker 1: And like that's where it just feels like yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know if it was like embarrassment or for a
Speaker 1: shame or like what it was. But but then you
Speaker 1: were like no, like there's the tune ups and the
Speaker 1: you know, you learning things and I'm like, okay, like
Speaker 1: that that made me feel so much better. So I
Speaker 1: just I want to thank you for that too, because
Speaker 1: I think it was hard to kind of walk back
Speaker 1: in that space again. That's really good to hear and
Speaker 1: you're not and I'm sure you know, but you're not
Speaker 1: alone there either. It's a I think I thought a
Speaker 1: lot about that, you know why people struggle and feel
Speaker 1: that if you come and invest in time with us
Speaker 1: that you're trying to fix something that's wrong with you,
Speaker 1: and it's it's you know, kind of counseling gets that
Speaker 1: wrap too, but it's actually not what's wrong with you
Speaker 1: at all. That you invest in becoming a better version
Speaker 1: of yourself no matter what season you're in, that's what's
Speaker 1: right with you. And it's not something I tell people
Speaker 1: all the time. It's not something you need, it's something
Speaker 1: you deserve. It's just humans. We don't look at our
Speaker 1: our mental wellness and our mind and our hearts the
Speaker 1: same way we do as our physical bodies. We know,
Speaker 1: improving our lives physically, it's not a linear process. It's
Speaker 1: not a check the box, start and stop. It's a maintenance.
Speaker 1: The same goes with with the mind, and it's it's
Speaker 1: a That's why I like calling an emotional fitness versus
Speaker 1: just this idea that we start here and stop here
Speaker 1: and skip through the meadow kombay and after we've done
Speaker 1: a little work, It's that's just the start of it.
Speaker 1: It's but the good news is over time, once you've
Speaker 1: got tools and you know the work, it gets a
Speaker 1: little lighter every time you're doing it, even if life
Speaker 1: throws you a pretty big curveball. That's so true on
Speaker 1: the fitness side, because I'm like, are we ever really
Speaker 1: like we might be in our best shape, but then
Speaker 1: you can fall back into certain patterns and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never thought of it like those two together. Emotional
Speaker 1: fitness emotional fitness. You need to t m that pretty
Speaker 1: quick because I really like it. I've made the mistakes.
Speaker 1: I started talking about it probably twelve years ago, back
Speaker 1: when nobody cared always talking at the holiday in in
Speaker 1: Phoenix to six people, probably my friends at the time,
Speaker 1: but your way. But as as the speaking has really
Speaker 1: grown over the years outside of the last two years
Speaker 1: in the rooms got bigger and started speaking to large
Speaker 1: groups of people, I realized that was such a good
Speaker 1: frame and I actually wrote a definition for it and
Speaker 1: started working on a book for it, and never trademarked it.
Speaker 1: And and then since then two other books and a
Speaker 1: company came out and I was like, oh, I missed
Speaker 1: that one, but I still use it. You're the O G.
Speaker 1: Miles For everyone that's listening, we know well who knows
Speaker 1: I'm there. I think we're all just spiritual thiefs, but
Speaker 1: at least we still from the best. Somebody probably had
Speaker 1: it before I did. Sure. I think what's so special
Speaker 1: about onset too, and I'd love for you to speak
Speaker 1: to it is the experiential therapy. Because when I explained
Speaker 1: it to someone and I say, okay, um, you know,
Speaker 1: people d roll and in role as like my dad
Speaker 1: or in role as you know, my best friend, or
Speaker 1: they enrolled like for example, when I was there, I
Speaker 1: had I enrolled as queendom, so I got to step
Speaker 1: into like and every time to talk to my friends
Speaker 1: like the correct but like and it's like then I
Speaker 1: had to talk to myself how queendom would talk to me?
Speaker 1: And it's like there's something so special about experiential therapy
Speaker 1: that really just hits it, like right on the head,
Speaker 1: like because it's you know, I've done therapy for so long,
Speaker 1: but there's something about that experiential work to really like
Speaker 1: embody it. And I don't know, I don't know the
Speaker 1: methods were, like the terminology behind it, but like what
Speaker 1: do you think is so why do you think that
Speaker 1: therapy is so impactful versus other types of therapy? Mm? Hm, Well,
Speaker 1: what you're describing experienial therapy is is not It's certainly
Speaker 1: not the only model we do, but it is the
Speaker 1: one we're known for because we've been doing it a
Speaker 1: long time. I'm a big advocate and believer in experiential
Speaker 1: counseling therapy and even experiential education. When you're talking and
Speaker 1: you know what what is it, Well, it's a it's
Speaker 1: kind of an umbrella or a body of therapeutic modalities
Speaker 1: or age techniques that are action oriented versus just talking.
Speaker 1: Because so most of us that have either done counseling
Speaker 1: or we've seen it on tv U. You think about
Speaker 1: it as a verbal exchange between one person and another.
Speaker 1: If you most people see it on me. Do you
Speaker 1: see some my land on a couch and they're telling,
Speaker 1: you know, somebody something, that's that's what we most that's
Speaker 1: what we usually do, and that's well researched. That's kind
Speaker 1: of cognitive behavioral therapy or processing. It's really beneficial and
Speaker 1: it's effective. But for me, I did years of that
Speaker 1: and still felt really stuck until somebody got creative and
Speaker 1: showed me my story versus told me and reflected my
Speaker 1: story back to me. Because if you hear it in
Speaker 1: the context of like, yeah, we do role play and
Speaker 1: use drama on art, that would sound a little weird.
Speaker 1: Out of context, you're like, what, I don't want any
Speaker 1: part of that. But actually, for me, it moves, It
Speaker 1: moves faster, it feels safer, It hits the right part
Speaker 1: of my brain because our rational reasoning part, which is
Speaker 1: this pre final cortext if you think about the brain
Speaker 1: from the top down, is usually offline. When we're in
Speaker 1: strang us and we hold pain and trauma and our
Speaker 1: limbic and we just find experiential tools and therapy to
Speaker 1: access that limbic where we hold a lot of our pain, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, much more efficiently and faster. It's important that
Speaker 1: it's done safely because it's a powerful tool and you
Speaker 1: don't want to come in and and and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: open someone up and without the tools and skill to
Speaker 1: be able to slowly integrate. But it is um and
Speaker 1: if if I were to say something to you, all
Speaker 1: activates a third of your brain like I'm doing now.
Speaker 1: If I were to show it to you, it activates
Speaker 1: two thirds. And if I were to make it kinesthetic
Speaker 1: and put it into action, it activates all of it.
Speaker 1: You know. Uh. If you great trial attorneys UM that
Speaker 1: are trying to convince a jury, uh, you know, to
Speaker 1: to move their direction, They're not going to tell them
Speaker 1: what they want them to hear. They're going to show them.
Speaker 1: They're gonna bring props into the room because they know
Speaker 1: that if I can make this experience visual in kinesthetic,
Speaker 1: I'm more likely to sway someone's opinion my way. So
Speaker 1: those are just a couple of quick examples, and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of creative ways to do it, but we
Speaker 1: found it to be a really highly effective model to
Speaker 1: move really quickly and do a whole lot. I mean,
Speaker 1: some people hour by hour would compare our one week
Speaker 1: experience at Living Center program to like a year's worth
Speaker 1: of about patient therapy just because the pace it moves.
Speaker 1: Does that? Does that help? Jenna did that a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard to describe to people that haven't been through
Speaker 1: it because they kind of go, that sounds a little weird.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, but like it's the it's the
Speaker 1: most intense, amazing work that, like you said, I like,
Speaker 1: it's it's years of therapy in four days. I also
Speaker 1: think there's a level of safety that you guys provide
Speaker 1: at on site. Like I've had so many friends go
Speaker 1: and just recently, like one of my friends, Hayley Hubbard,
Speaker 1: just came back and she's been open about her visit there.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm sharing this. But you know, even when
Speaker 1: she was texting me the other day, she was just
Speaker 1: talking about She's like, you know, I went and I
Speaker 1: was going to be with these people and family, um,
Speaker 1: and she goes and then they weren't able to But
Speaker 1: it was just good because I just got to sit
Speaker 1: with myself and I'm like, yeah, but it's it feels
Speaker 1: so welcoming back because you guys have made it so safe.
Speaker 1: I think that then experiential therapy doesn't feel so weird
Speaker 1: or like, you know, I've been in some intensive like
Speaker 1: a two day intensive or a one day intensive with
Speaker 1: a group of country wives that you know, we're all
Speaker 1: processing and it's if I was to describe what we
Speaker 1: did they're together, would sound strange to people. But because
Speaker 1: you're in such a safe environment and you have this
Speaker 1: like code of conduct that you know it's confidential, I
Speaker 1: think knowing the level that you guys hold that piece
Speaker 1: makes people feel safe enough to do what you do
Speaker 1: there and allows them the feeling of like they got
Speaker 1: a year's worth in four days. And it's such an
Speaker 1: investment too, you know, like too, you're investing in yourself,
Speaker 1: which is I know people can be like, oh, well
Speaker 1: it's expensive, and you guys have things to help with that,
Speaker 1: don't you. Yeah, we kind of diversify or SoC economic
Speaker 1: Really it is expensive and good good really, because I
Speaker 1: curate therapeutic talent to death. I want the best of
Speaker 1: the best around the table and and we go to
Speaker 1: to any means to to get them. And so that
Speaker 1: they can support us with part of their time. I've
Speaker 1: just you know, counseling is like any other profession. There's
Speaker 1: a wide array of talent, and the the education and
Speaker 1: credentials are vital, but that doesn't dictate your skill level
Speaker 1: and your ability to be good at your work. There's
Speaker 1: other factors that go into it and attracting those people.
Speaker 1: And then also I really appreciate what you were sharing
Speaker 1: about the safety piece because I'm obsessed with that. I
Speaker 1: think psychological safety is everything because without it, we don't
Speaker 1: have trust. And you can do great therapy without trust,
Speaker 1: but I don't find it to be very sustainable and
Speaker 1: it doesn't support great outcomes. So if we lose our
Speaker 1: ability to be who we are and curate in an
Speaker 1: environment where people feel safe to be vulnerable, then we're
Speaker 1: missing the mark right out of the gate. And we
Speaker 1: have an advantage because we have a location where we
Speaker 1: can curate an experience, We can curate the hospitality, we
Speaker 1: can kind of insulate the environment enough where people can
Speaker 1: experience psychological safety. And that's my favorite thing of everything.
Speaker 1: We do. Take all the tools, the techniques, the change
Speaker 1: and we're not there to do anything to you. It's
Speaker 1: just mirroring back and experience with you of what it
Speaker 1: feels like to feel safe being in your skin and
Speaker 1: being fully who you are, and ideally you go back
Speaker 1: out and and show up that way a little bit
Speaker 1: more in your relationships, in your work, in your craft.
Speaker 1: And I always say to people when they're they're you know,
Speaker 1: it's that a little curated space that you know, the
Speaker 1: world is definitely not going to feel like this, you know,
Speaker 1: to you, but ideally you're going to begin to feel
Speaker 1: like this to the world. And and I've since learned that,
Speaker 1: you know, people would think that people that do what
Speaker 1: we do, kind of that personal growth, self development space,
Speaker 1: that it's kind of weird and you go there when
Speaker 1: you need it, But actually I think it's it's more
Speaker 1: culturally sound, connected and appropriate than the world we live in.
Speaker 1: So I've since looked at well, I don't think we're
Speaker 1: very weird. I think the world is kind of weird.
Speaker 1: I would actually agree with that. I would say to
Speaker 1: like a rama, that safety thing. One of the main
Speaker 1: things is you don't say your last name and you
Speaker 1: don't say what you do. And that was a piece too,
Speaker 1: where you know, it's it's nice. They might maybe recognize you, um,
Speaker 1: but again, you you have such a safe place. I mean,
Speaker 1: and something did happen when I was there the last time.
Speaker 1: I was eating lunch and I didn't know that this
Speaker 1: person knew me, but he said my name first and
Speaker 1: last name, and one of the supervisors heard it, who
Speaker 1: has was was one of my supervisors from ten plus
Speaker 1: years ago, and she came over to me and but
Speaker 1: in that moment, I was like, I felt like I
Speaker 1: had to put on a face again. I was like,
Speaker 1: for three days, I've been just me and people liked
Speaker 1: just me. And then all of a sudden, the guy
Speaker 1: goes Janet Kramer and I was like and like my
Speaker 1: my whole and I was just like, oh god, and
Speaker 1: I felt so exposed because I'm like, we I've been
Speaker 1: like so like and it was just and then Lin
Speaker 1: Lindn came over to me and was like, and I
Speaker 1: just started bawling because I just like, now I feel
Speaker 1: like I have to like put on this Jannah Cramer
Speaker 1: face and like and and it was just and the
Speaker 1: person end up having a background yeah, or like He's
Speaker 1: gonna go and tell X, Y and Z that I
Speaker 1: just did this thing in front of the group because
Speaker 1: you become like this like almost like this CULTI family
Speaker 1: where you just like you love on everybody and it
Speaker 1: just becomes so such a beautiful and you you're you know,
Speaker 1: lifting people up and encouraging them and and then it's like, God,
Speaker 1: is he going to go back and say that I
Speaker 1: was like bawling about this or you know, the person
Speaker 1: and you guys ended up making the person leave because
Speaker 1: there was a few other things that happened, but like,
Speaker 1: and I appreciated that, like the keeping that protection because
Speaker 1: it is so important to people at on site, so well,
Speaker 1: for a minute, it took your safety away, like you
Speaker 1: didn't feel safe. Well, then I felt like I had
Speaker 1: to go do what I always do, put a smile
Speaker 1: on and put a face on and then put my
Speaker 1: act on, and like that was not what I wanted
Speaker 1: to do. Um, go ahead, I just say I appreciate
Speaker 1: you speaking into that. It's you know, we work a
Speaker 1: lot with creatives and it's particularly the community that I
Speaker 1: know some of you work in music, film, television, sports.
Speaker 1: It's kind of it's a it's a division that we
Speaker 1: just doubled down on because we just brought Debbie Carroll
Speaker 1: over to launch a new division. Around it, which if
Speaker 1: you don't know her, you should get to know where.
Speaker 1: She ran the music Cares for the last twenty four
Speaker 1: years and just a pioneer at the intersection of mental
Speaker 1: health and music. I'm so excited to have her on board.
Speaker 1: And she's been a friend in a colleague forever. But
Speaker 1: we're getting ready to do more in that space. But
Speaker 1: you bring up an important port which is important point,
Speaker 1: which is, uh, there's that uh jetlag brain, which is
Speaker 1: it's it's one of the hardest things that we do
Speaker 1: is separate ourselves from this identity that we create and
Speaker 1: we lose. In other words, Uh, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: great human doings that come to our programming. They do
Speaker 1: great things, and we try to say, okay, well we
Speaker 1: get that, we want you to be a human being
Speaker 1: for a week and and I struggle with a too.
Speaker 1: We all do because we I think in the first
Speaker 1: uh thirty seconds of every new conversation we have with
Speaker 1: a new person, nine of the time we will ask
Speaker 1: what the other person does. So we quickly sized people
Speaker 1: up based on what they do. So that was important
Speaker 1: to us to say, let's just remove that. Let's equal
Speaker 1: the plan field and now for people who don't have
Speaker 1: a public profession, it's amazing. And even those that do
Speaker 1: that don't have incidents like yours, it's amazing that they
Speaker 1: just get to be a human for a week and
Speaker 1: not known by what they do, but better known by
Speaker 1: who they are. But in regards to people who do
Speaker 1: things publicly, it is a challenge because we do what
Speaker 1: we do and we hold a very strict guideline and
Speaker 1: so I'm glad you brought that put point up. We
Speaker 1: let people know right up front that it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: what someone does when they're here. If you recognize them,
Speaker 1: why what they do, then we ask you not to
Speaker 1: engage them with that, and if you do, we would
Speaker 1: see that as a guideline violation because again it creates
Speaker 1: a safety issue. But we also know that humans are
Speaker 1: humans and we can say that we can do that
Speaker 1: and sometimes people are gonna approach anyway. It's pretty rare.
Speaker 1: It doesn't happen a lot, but when it does, we
Speaker 1: try to take action pretty quick. But the good news
Speaker 1: about on site is we've really been pushing against the
Speaker 1: stigma for a long time, especially against the entertainment community.
Speaker 1: And thankfully, and I credit honestly um folks like you know, you,
Speaker 1: Jenna and others who have been outspoken vulnerable advocates for
Speaker 1: doing your own work, and you've said on site it's
Speaker 1: a good place to do it, because now it's become
Speaker 1: a little bit more of a hip, trendy, cool thing
Speaker 1: to do. It's not like, oh my gosh, I gotta
Speaker 1: go to onsite. It's like when do I get to
Speaker 1: go to on site in the music community, which has
Speaker 1: been a real advantage because it creates a safety where
Speaker 1: people come and they're not really worried about being there.
Speaker 1: They just want to know that what they do there
Speaker 1: stay safe and contained, and we've got a lot of
Speaker 1: measures in place to make sure that's the case. And
Speaker 1: I will say to the investment in yourself is just everything.
Speaker 1: And I told I wish I could gift it to
Speaker 1: every single person that I know. And I came back
Speaker 1: and obviously, you know, Catherine, you're going through what you're
Speaker 1: going through, and I said to you, I was like,
Speaker 1: just tell me when you want to go, because I want, like,
Speaker 1: I want all of you guys to experience that. And
Speaker 1: I think you said you wanted to talk to Miles
Speaker 1: about that kind of hesitation right of of stepping into it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm kind of, you know, in the scheme
Speaker 1: of things, kind of new word of therapy, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I obviously just started with my newest therapist. Gosh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, six eight months something like that. But
Speaker 1: I've been in therapy before. But I am more the hesitant,
Speaker 1: you know, therapy seeker if you will. You wouldn't classify
Speaker 1: her as right out of the game. I love to
Speaker 1: be very vulnerable at love to talk about a lot
Speaker 1: um but I believe it or not UM, but I'm
Speaker 1: actually going through a divorce. But when we were in
Speaker 1: UM couples therapy the first time, it was it was
Speaker 1: kind of that like and I put this on myself
Speaker 1: to kind of like, let's go to therapy to fix
Speaker 1: you kind of think, and you mean your partner, fix
Speaker 1: your partner, fix you partner. I have the obvious you know,
Speaker 1: family history that was just obviously affecting me in ways,
Speaker 1: and so it was kind of like, let's go to
Speaker 1: therapy to fix Catherine kind of thing. And then I think,
Speaker 1: as you know, we went through it's like everybody has
Speaker 1: their stuff, you know, and then we ended up not
Speaker 1: being happy with our therapist and we were kind of
Speaker 1: in and out. But anyways, I am hesitant all that
Speaker 1: to say, Um, if I'm completely honest, the thought of
Speaker 1: a week of therapy, like being like a year of
Speaker 1: therapy is terrifying to me. I mean, just to be
Speaker 1: completely honest, like for someone that doesn't love to be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: doing it for that long is so overwhelming to even
Speaker 1: think about. And I love hearing you all talk about
Speaker 1: it because I think it seems amazing and I think
Speaker 1: it's something that I would love to want to do.
Speaker 1: I just am not necessarily there, but I think it
Speaker 1: sounds amazing. I'm not saying, you know, I'm sure it's great.
Speaker 1: It's just make sure that someone like me make sure
Speaker 1: that the view is great. You get to eat with
Speaker 1: both hands for four days, okay, let me get to
Speaker 1: you and the sonic You get to sleep sonic eye,
Speaker 1: Sonic eye. You do get to sleep like you get
Speaker 1: to sleep it or you get it early. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's like eight o'clock. If you want to do the meditation,
Speaker 1: you can. You can keep a pretty pretty good, pretty
Speaker 1: aggressive schedule. However, it is because I want, we want
Speaker 1: to give you everything we got while you're there. However,
Speaker 1: people do report that after the first of the worth
Speaker 1: that they sleep better than they haven't a really, and
Speaker 1: we get way too much credit because they're like, what
Speaker 1: kind of mattresses and sheets do you have? It's no,
Speaker 1: it is the best. I'm telling you. That room that
Speaker 1: y'all put me in, Oh my gosh, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not getting like I wanted to know exactly what
Speaker 1: the sheets were too. Is so comfortable? Well they are?
Speaker 1: They are nice. I do care about the details, and
Speaker 1: I love hospitalities. I love caring a good experience, but
Speaker 1: they're not like what you would expect, like high, high
Speaker 1: thread count all that. I think it's more the context
Speaker 1: the work that you do. But you speaking to that hesitation, it's, um,
Speaker 1: I'm not uh knowing that you're somebody that is intrigued
Speaker 1: or would consider doing something with us at some point.
Speaker 1: Obviously I get excited about that because I'm such a
Speaker 1: believer in what we do. But um, I'm not um
Speaker 1: dissuade at all by hesitation. I think it's a totally
Speaker 1: appropriate response, especially in this context when you hear to adopt,
Speaker 1: you know, to people that are early adopters. In other words,
Speaker 1: we've we've both been clearly I worked there, but we've
Speaker 1: both been talking about it so enthusiastically and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, what is this And even hearing about
Speaker 1: the fire hose kind of experience, like, that's a lot
Speaker 1: that's that's totally normal. And I would say more than
Speaker 1: six of the people that come feel that way. They
Speaker 1: have a lot of hesitation and a little bit of anks.
Speaker 1: And I always encouraged by that because that's a great
Speaker 1: place for us to start if you didn't have any Now,
Speaker 1: there are instances in certain examples, like with what Jane
Speaker 1: I was talking about, where Okay, I've done this enough
Speaker 1: that I know where I'm coming. I feel relief to
Speaker 1: be there to get out of a stressful environment. That
Speaker 1: happens some too, but more than not, you're definitely in
Speaker 1: the majority where it's like, oh, I'm not so sure.
Speaker 1: One thing that would help, and we probably couldn't do
Speaker 1: it in a in a podcast, but to get on
Speaker 1: a call with me or or one of our one
Speaker 1: of our folks and just have a conversation that we
Speaker 1: can learn more about the hesitation. And I bet when
Speaker 1: we walk you through with more time that it could
Speaker 1: help give you more information to ensure that it's going
Speaker 1: to be a a time time well spending. It may
Speaker 1: not be. It's it may not be for everybody, it
Speaker 1: may not be right now. There should never be any
Speaker 1: pressure with it. But it's a cool experience and therapy
Speaker 1: is a part of it, but it's also it's a
Speaker 1: beautiful retreat space. And I put as much emphasis on
Speaker 1: the hospitality and as I do the therapy, and so
Speaker 1: like they said, if anything, if you need a mom retreat,
Speaker 1: it could be a good place to go to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I would say cats too, like I think, And
Speaker 1: I could be totally wrong, you could be totally you know, fine, whatever,
Speaker 1: But there's just something in me where I just feel
Speaker 1: like because I've received the gift of what on site
Speaker 1: has given me in that kind of because in the
Speaker 1: beginning and the very beginning, the first day, you it's
Speaker 1: like this, You're all in a room together and everyone's
Speaker 1: kind of looking around, everyone like, oh God, what the
Speaker 1: hell do we signed you know, sign up for? And
Speaker 1: then you go to one side of the room people
Speaker 1: that are excited to be there, that are and then
Speaker 1: there's the people that are like what did I do?
Speaker 1: There's not many people to the far right and I
Speaker 1: was the last one. I was all the way like why,
Speaker 1: like what did I do? Because it's like is it
Speaker 1: gonna work? Is it? You know? Am I going to
Speaker 1: leave here? And they just the whole thing is trust
Speaker 1: the process, and I just think for you and this
Speaker 1: is just me and you can call me out and
Speaker 1: say absolutely not, but like there's a piece that I
Speaker 1: think you're blocking, and I just want to see that
Speaker 1: wall go down. Oh sure, because I think when you
Speaker 1: get that, and that's what I think you would get
Speaker 1: it on site, you will have this break this amazing
Speaker 1: breakdown and breakthrough. Yeah, And I agree with you and
Speaker 1: be part of the hesitation. Well, and that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That's like because I'm like, I'm almost like feel you
Speaker 1: like the wall like coming up, and I'm like, you
Speaker 1: need to have the breakdown to get through the breakthrough. Yeah. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I agree with you. The law firm and we break
Speaker 1: down every other day. Another another that was well said Jenna,
Speaker 1: But I think another thing to consider too, when Jenna
Speaker 1: actually referenced it when she was talking a moment ago,
Speaker 1: how it can feel so connected and tied and curated
Speaker 1: that you even you joke, but I think you mentioned
Speaker 1: like cultures type feel I mean very I'm very leary
Speaker 1: of that type stuff. If I hear like this real
Speaker 1: you know, everybody's talking about this thing that we have
Speaker 1: to do, then I honestly I had this little part
Speaker 1: of it, doesn't trust it. I'm like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Is this tooke a bit in? And
Speaker 1: I want you to hear that. Um, I I have
Speaker 1: seen that happen a lot in in spiritual and emotional
Speaker 1: growth offerings. I mean, you've seen some of the documentaries
Speaker 1: that are super creepy right now about how people, uh,
Speaker 1: even low key, creating dependence on what they do. And
Speaker 1: we make a huge effort not to do that. That's
Speaker 1: not our model. We we don't. We don't believe that
Speaker 1: we have answers for you that you don't already have.
Speaker 1: We never want to create a dependence on our model
Speaker 1: or on us. We're fine for people to appreciate what
Speaker 1: we do, but believe, we believe people have within them
Speaker 1: what they need to change. We just are good partners
Speaker 1: to guide you through the process and then to let
Speaker 1: you go about your way, not to you know, come back. Um.
Speaker 1: All the time, there are people like me who choose
Speaker 1: to come back once a year, but that's more for me.
Speaker 1: It's not because of what I receive in our programming.
Speaker 1: So that could be part of it too. If you've
Speaker 1: ever been overpromised and under delivered by something that was
Speaker 1: really shiny, then there's probably a smart party that's sitting
Speaker 1: back being like, I'm not so sure. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's the case for you or not, but I
Speaker 1: want to say that, Yeah, it's good to know for sure.
Speaker 1: Where are you kind of at with it? Are we
Speaker 1: a little emotional? No? I keep thinking you're crying every day. No,
Speaker 1: I just like I just I care. I just care
Speaker 1: so deeply for both of all my friends. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I haven't called my brother. I was like, I know,
Speaker 1: we know our childhood stuff, but like you got to
Speaker 1: like go through this, Like, yeah, I think for me personally,
Speaker 1: I would like to kind of get through the divorce
Speaker 1: part of it. I mean, obviously that will come out
Speaker 1: and that will whatever, and kind of just when I'm
Speaker 1: ready to fully focus on myself and my past traumas,
Speaker 1: I think is when I will feel ready to do it.
Speaker 1: If that makes sense. I think it could be a
Speaker 1: good space both. No, but I will say this though
Speaker 1: I wasn't ready when I got divorced last year. I
Speaker 1: wasn't ready. I wanted to go have fun and ignore him,
Speaker 1: like I've been doing therapy for so many years, like
Speaker 1: I'm fine, everything's amazing, And it catched me to Bikini
Speaker 1: and Miami, you know what I mean. Like I was like,
Speaker 1: in my mind knows like I've done so much therapy,
Speaker 1: I don't need to do this. And then I realized,
Speaker 1: oh god, I'm just repeating same patterns. And now I now,
Speaker 1: now a year later, and that's what I said. I'm like,
Speaker 1: instead of going to Miami, I went to I went
Speaker 1: to heal myself. And I definitely don't want to repeat
Speaker 1: the same patterns. So if i'm which I'm so far
Speaker 1: from it. But if I am thinking about dating, or
Speaker 1: if I am, it is very important to me to
Speaker 1: do work to not repeat same patterns. I will say that.
Speaker 1: So I do think maybe when my mind shifts a
Speaker 1: little bit that way, maybe I'll be more you know,
Speaker 1: going that way, And I don't. I don't know your
Speaker 1: your circumstances at all, and I know now wouldn't be
Speaker 1: the time to unpack that um but I but I
Speaker 1: empathize because I know I've walked with a lot of
Speaker 1: people gone through some transitions myself. A big transitions, especially
Speaker 1: once like what you're describing, can be really hard on
Speaker 1: our nervous system, no matter the circumstances, whether it's a
Speaker 1: choice or not a choice, they can be super stressful.
Speaker 1: And give yourself a ton of grace on how you're
Speaker 1: navigating it. Um, there will be time I encourage I
Speaker 1: um affirmed Janna, because I can tell you are close
Speaker 1: in in kind of the nudge she's like, and and
Speaker 1: I I think you're You're probably more likely to engage, um,
Speaker 1: you know, feeling invited like she's doing, Like, Hey, it's
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to push you somewhere, but I also
Speaker 1: want to really encourage it. But if you wanted to,
Speaker 1: I just encourage you to be well resourced in a
Speaker 1: big transition. Transitions are good times to come and do
Speaker 1: our experience, I will say that, but there are other
Speaker 1: resources that I just think you need a good a
Speaker 1: good net underneath you that when you navigate these next
Speaker 1: early stages in and on end that you've got a plan,
Speaker 1: and whether it's us or not, I'd be glad to
Speaker 1: help you know resource you and recommend some good things
Speaker 1: in the meantime until you feel like we might be
Speaker 1: a fit, or if you ever felt like we might
Speaker 1: be a fit. Okay, this conversation is definitely one of
Speaker 1: my favorite conversations because of how special this place is,
Speaker 1: and I really want a part two of this, So
Speaker 1: Miles um, we're going to part to this and join
Speaker 1: us next week to hear the second half of us.