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Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Joe. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay story Time podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on ours.

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Speaker 1: And luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the

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Speaker 1: best stories your ears could listen to. All you have

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Speaker 1: from our sponsors. So John, it's dump them week, which

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Speaker 1: means we're gonna be taking out some trash at least

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Speaker 1: emotionally speaking.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, Sam, we have stories this week that will

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Speaker 3: make you say farewell to toxic relationship and hello to

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Speaker 3: red flag for you living.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of hello, if you're new here looking for the

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Speaker 1: first story in this series titled my husband cheated but

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Speaker 1: he has cancer?

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Speaker 2: Should I stay?

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Speaker 1: Just click the link in the show notes slash description

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Speaker 1: or search dump Him week, Okay story Time wherever you

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Speaker 1: get your podcasts.

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Speaker 4: All right, let's get in today's story.

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Speaker 5: I just had surgery and instead of helping, my husband

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Speaker 5: stole all of my food. So I just have surgery

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Speaker 5: on my stomach and intestines almost two weeks ago. Because

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Speaker 5: of that surgery, I have to adhere to a very

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Speaker 5: strict diet until i'm fully If I stray from the diet,

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Speaker 5: it could cause severe complications and possibly lead to death.

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Speaker 5: So for the first two weeks after surgery, I can

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Speaker 5: only eat drink a full liquid diet. The most solid

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Speaker 5: thing I can eat is pudding. I can't even have

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Speaker 5: soup with any chunks of veg meat, even if they're soft.

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Speaker 5: There's not a lot of variety to choose from, and

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Speaker 5: I'm not having a good time at all. Plus I'm

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Speaker 5: still having pain from the procedure and some nausea, and

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Speaker 5: I have to go in for IVY fluids and iron twice. Now,

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Speaker 5: by the way, this comes from the dingo ate my

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Speaker 5: java on the r slash shoke store time supped it.

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Speaker 5: So prior to surgery I meal prep for myself and

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Speaker 5: for the family so I wouldn't have to worry about it. After.

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Speaker 5: I made meals for myself for every stage of the

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Speaker 5: diet and with specific Macro's ingredients to meet my needs

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Speaker 5: and comply with my other health problems. For example, I

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Speaker 5: have Celiac disease, so everything has to be Wooten free.

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Speaker 5: I also follow a low sugar slashed low carb diet,

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Speaker 5: so everything had to comply with that as well. I

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Speaker 5: also made meals for him and our son, meals specifically

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Speaker 5: requested by I stocked up on snacks they liked and

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Speaker 5: asked for. We also have a fairly strict budget right now,

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Speaker 5: so I made everything from scratch to save money. About

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Speaker 5: a fourth of everything I made is in the freezer

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Speaker 5: attached door fridge for convenience sake. The rest is in

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Speaker 5: the deep freeze in the garage. So most of the

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Speaker 5: meals in the house freezer are gone. So I went

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Speaker 5: out to the garage to restock. All of the meals

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Speaker 5: I'd made for myself are gone. I didn't even eat

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Speaker 5: all of them. Man, how do even eat all of those?

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Speaker 5: Just completely emptied out. I'm really upset because they have

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Speaker 5: no energy right now to make more living off liquids

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Speaker 5: and having ANEMEA will do that to a person. My

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Speaker 5: diet is hopefully progressing to soft solids tomorrow, so I

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Speaker 5: was really excited to be able to eat some of

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Speaker 5: the food I made. I asked him about it, and

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Speaker 5: he blamed it on our son first.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a good move to get on the mother's side,

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Speaker 6: is to blame me.

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Speaker 5: No, it totally totally the kids. The kids did it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was his.

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Speaker 5: Fault, which I know is BS because the kids hate

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Speaker 5: all of my special foods. With the passion, there's no

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Speaker 5: way he'd be sneaking my food. So I questioned my

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Speaker 5: husband again. He admitted to it. Said he'd been taking

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Speaker 5: my meals to work as his lunch because he was

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Speaker 5: too tired to make his own lunch before work. He

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Speaker 5: has always made his own lunch up until now, and

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Speaker 5: so he was like, oh, well, they're all in the

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Speaker 5: fridge anyway, and my wife clearly doesn't need them. He

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Speaker 5: also said he was bored with the lunches he makes,

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Speaker 5: and my food provided variety. Why don't you just make

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Speaker 5: a different lunch.

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Speaker 2: This guy actually sucks.

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Speaker 4: This is horrible.

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Speaker 5: I am exhausted. This recovery period is kicking my butt.

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Speaker 5: Before surgery, I ran a mile every day. Now I

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Speaker 5: barely have enough energy to walk up the stairs. I'm

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Speaker 5: not supposed to lift more than ten pounds. I'm not

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Speaker 5: supposed to do anything more strenuous than walking. Even taking

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Speaker 5: a shower is tiring right now. The anemia, dehydration, and

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Speaker 5: lack of proper nutrition is making it worse. So when

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Speaker 5: he admitted to taking my food, I just started crying.

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Speaker 5: All he hasn't been much help after surgery. My son,

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Speaker 5: eleven year old, has been doing all the lifting for

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Speaker 5: me and helping me with chores and cooking. Crazy that

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Speaker 5: you're your eleven year old son is doing more for

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Speaker 5: you than your husband.

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Speaker 2: And I'm speechless.

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Speaker 5: When I started crying, he got disgusted and told me

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Speaker 5: I was overreacting and being a baby. He refuses to

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Speaker 5: make me new meals. He refuses to help me make

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Speaker 5: new meals. He says, it's been almost two weeks, and

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Speaker 5: I should be able to do stuff on my own.

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Speaker 5: She did do that stuff, She did make her own food. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and then you stole it. Why don't you learn how

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Speaker 5: to make your own lunch on your own? At this point,

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Speaker 5: I'm seriously considering divorce. Honestly, I would too. The fact

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Speaker 5: that he refuses to acknowledge it or own up or

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Speaker 5: help you in any way. Yeah, I mean, my son

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Speaker 5: and I are already doing everything on our own already,

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Speaker 5: and I know my kid won't eat my diet food.

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Speaker 5: Am I overreacting? No, you're not.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 6: I think it's sort of like a perfect picture of

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Speaker 6: like if this is you and you're in need, yes,

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Speaker 6: and it's like this is your husband. He's supposed to

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Speaker 6: be able to be there for you and you for him,

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Speaker 6: Like that's the whole marriage.

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Speaker 5: That's the whole deal.

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Speaker 4: That's the deal.

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Speaker 5: Also, I just found out he's rated my non perishable

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Speaker 5: food stores. In the pantry, it was mostly sugar free

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Speaker 5: jello and putting I can eat on the liquid diet.

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Speaker 5: Pretty much everything is gone except for some sugar free

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Speaker 5: orange jello. Okay obligatory. Omg, this post exploded comment. I

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Speaker 5: didn't expect it to explode this much. I even saw

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Speaker 5: an article written about it on People's magazine.

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Speaker 6: Oh wow, and now you can bigger than that. It's

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Speaker 6: on the Okay storytime.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, who cares about People magazine?

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Speaker 2: Get us? So thanks for that.

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Speaker 5: To everyone. I'm just glad this is a throwaway account

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Speaker 5: and none of my family or friends are redditors. I

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Speaker 5: tried to read all the comments, but there's so many

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Speaker 5: and I'm tired, so I'm sure I missed a bunch.

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Speaker 5: I apologize anyway. So it's been approximately a week since

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Speaker 5: my post, and I'll try to answer some questions and

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Speaker 5: let everyone know what's going on. The food I had

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Speaker 5: in the deep freeze in the garage was for the

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Speaker 5: next stage of my diet, which is soft foods with

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Speaker 5: the high protein content think egg salad, tender cooked chicken,

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Speaker 5: vegetarian chicken, chili, soft seafood, et cetera. Definitely more tasty

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Speaker 5: than the liquid diet I was on. So maybe that's

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Speaker 5: why my husband ate them. I don't know. I'm still

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Speaker 5: not clear on what he did what he did. I

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Speaker 5: have no idea if he ate them or threw them out,

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Speaker 5: as many of you suggested. I did ask him, and

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Speaker 5: he danced around it and didn't provide any answers. I

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Speaker 5: think maybe he did a combination of the two. I

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Speaker 5: think he has some built in resentment, as I've had

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Speaker 5: health issues since before we married. He knew what he

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Speaker 5: was getting into and he married me anyway. I don't

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Speaker 5: think he realized the toll it could have on him

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Speaker 5: and our relationship. Though he's not a caretaker. Just to

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Speaker 5: clear things up, I'm not sick enough except while recovering

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Speaker 5: from surgery to need someone to take care of me.

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Speaker 5: I am very independent and I do everything myself. I

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Speaker 5: do most of the childcare, cleaning, arrands, cooking, managing money

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Speaker 5: and expenses.

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Speaker 2: You get the idea.

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Speaker 5: He does get upset because I'm not always able to

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Speaker 5: do activities with him that he really enjoys, like hiking, fishing, frisbee, golf,

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Speaker 5: et cetera, mostly things that involve being outside. I'm very

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Speaker 5: sensitive to temperature, and heat makes me physically sick. I'm

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Speaker 5: also supposed to avoid the sun, as it gives me

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Speaker 5: a rash and makes me nauseated. We do a lot

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Speaker 5: of indoor activities like play games, movies, museums, going to

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Speaker 5: the gym, swimming, indoors, et cetera. I also make an

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Speaker 5: effort to spend time with him individually and as a family.

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Speaker 5: Up until this surgery, we have had no issues, and

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Speaker 5: I had no idea he would act this way. Maybe

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Speaker 5: I missed some red flags.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: My husband has never been abusive, nor has he ever

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Speaker 5: done anything like this before. That's why I made the post.

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Speaker 5: I was really confused because I had no idea where

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Speaker 5: his attitude was coming from, and thought maybe I had

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Speaker 5: done something like I stated above. I think he has

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Speaker 5: some built up resentment or something. He's always been understanding

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Speaker 5: and respectful of my needs and my health and has

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Speaker 5: never shown that he may have any differing feelings. Our

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Speaker 5: spicy sleep life is great. He stated, he's very satisfied

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Speaker 5: in that aspect. He says, he sees that I'm putting

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Speaker 5: forth a lot of effort to spend time with him

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Speaker 5: and makes him a priority in my life, and he

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Speaker 5: says he appreciates it. So unless he's feeding me a

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Speaker 5: line of bs, this isn't the cause either. The surgery

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Speaker 5: I had was removal of benign tumors I had in

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Speaker 5: my stomach and part of my intestine. They had to

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Speaker 5: move three fourths of my stomach, Oh my God, and

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Speaker 5: part of my small intestine. And he was like, Babe,

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Speaker 5: just get over it. They got all of the tumors

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Speaker 5: and are optimistic they want return. I'll have to be

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Speaker 5: very aware of my nutrition for the rest of my life,

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Speaker 5: as I will have malabsorption issues. The surgery was done laparoscopically,

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Speaker 5: so it's not as painful and doesn't require as much

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Speaker 5: recovery as an open procedure. So on to the updates.

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Speaker 5: There is more to this story. But what's what's your

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Speaker 5: thoughts right now?

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Speaker 6: I think maybe that Ope might just be a bit

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Speaker 6: of a sweetie, and that's she might be like Rose

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Speaker 6: rose tinted glasses, kind of looking acting like this for

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Speaker 6: a while, being like, yeah, it's like he hasn't really

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Speaker 6: ever done this, and it's like he's never said that,

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Speaker 6: but it's like somebody doing that wouldn't just be like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: you know, I really like don't like you for all

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Speaker 6: of your medical problems that like aren't technically your fault,

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Speaker 6: but I just like really hate them and I'm so

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Speaker 6: over it.

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Speaker 5: Liked I might say that, Yeah, it might come in

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Speaker 5: other ways, like less obvious ones.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, like like his behavior in this story.

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Speaker 5: After we thought and he refused to write to find

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Speaker 5: the situation, I told him we needed time apart. He

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Speaker 5: went to stay at his mom's house, as I don't

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Speaker 5: have any friends or family nearby. For food, I made

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Speaker 5: some scrambled eggs and hard boiled some eggs to get

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Speaker 5: me through dinner that night and breakfast in the morning.

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Speaker 4: The next day.

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Speaker 5: We talked on the phone for a couple of hours.

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Speaker 5: He apologized profusely. Hmmm, okay. He explained he was extremely

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Speaker 5: stressed at his job and was really worried about me

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Speaker 5: and my health. I told him that is not an

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Speaker 5: excuse for treating me like crap, nor does it seem

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Speaker 5: like he was worried about me at all since he

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Speaker 5: did what he did. He agreed with me and apologized again.

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Speaker 5: He agreed to go to individual and couple's therapy, which

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Speaker 5: is huge because he doesn't like or believe in therapy

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Speaker 5: as he's had bad experiences in the past. I also

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Speaker 5: see my own therapist and have been for the last

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Speaker 5: fifteen years, to be clear. He also agreed to buy

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Speaker 5: all of the groceries to replace all of the food

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Speaker 5: he took, and agreed to make my meals for me

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Speaker 5: with little guidance as he's not great at cooking. I

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Speaker 5: made it clear that if he does something like this again,

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Speaker 5: there will be no more chances given and I will

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Speaker 5: file for divorce. He also apologized to her son for

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Speaker 5: putting more responsibilities on his shoulders because I totally forgot

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Speaker 5: that the sun has been helping ope this whole time. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, honestly, with the son in the picture, I think

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Speaker 6: the couple's therapy is good. I think I would have

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Speaker 6: gone divorce, but I forgot about the child.

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Speaker 5: My husband is now back to staying in our home.

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Speaker 5: He's been doing all the things I'm not supposed to do,

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Speaker 5: and he's working on remaking all of my meals. I've

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Speaker 5: been teaching him how to cook easy meals for him

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Speaker 5: and our kids so he can do so in the future.

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Speaker 5: He's been nothing but polite, sweet, loving, and respectful. He's

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Speaker 5: also been putting forth an effort to take on more

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Speaker 5: responsibilities in the house so I'm not forced to have

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Speaker 5: to do everything. I am, however, worried that this is

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Speaker 5: all just a temporary fix because he wants to avoid divorce.

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Speaker 5: That is a like complete possibility. Yeah, I'm not willing

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Speaker 5: to put up with poor treatment. I'm just waiting for

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Speaker 5: him to get comfortable and revert back to old habits,

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Speaker 5: so we'll see what happens. Only time will tell. To

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Speaker 5: be clear, he's never treated me badly in the past,

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Speaker 5: which is the main reason I decided to give him

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Speaker 5: a second chance. I'm really hoping it's an app or

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Speaker 5: as for stress at work. His place of employment is

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Speaker 5: severely understaffed at the moment. He's been going to work

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Speaker 5: early and staying late to help them with this issue.

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Speaker 5: He's tired and cranky, which is understandable. Adding my recent

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Speaker 5: surgery on top of things, and he just couldn't handle it.

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Speaker 5: He knew my surgery would be complicated, and he says

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Speaker 5: he's afraid I would pass away or end up with complications.

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Speaker 5: This is understandable as well. I feel the same if

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Speaker 5: roles were reversed. But he does agree that none of

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Speaker 5: this gives him an excuse for his behavior, and he's

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Speaker 5: agreed to work on it. He says he's very satisfied

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Speaker 5: and happy with all aspects of our life together, and

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Speaker 5: he says he's really disappointed with himself for the way

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Speaker 5: he acted. I wouldn't be disappointed if you guys joined

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Speaker 5: us live every weekd An Thry VMPSD on YouTube. Just

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Speaker 5: top a profile again. We'll see how it works out.

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Speaker 5: I'm taking everything he says with a grain of salt.

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Speaker 5: That's it. I can't think of anything else to add.

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Speaker 5: I'll post another update if anything changes. Thank you to everyone.

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Speaker 5: He was kind and expressed concern for my health in

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Speaker 5: my situation.

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Speaker 6: Feels like he snapped. It feels like he had some

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Speaker 6: kind of breakdown. Yeah, because and it's just like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: the work thing was stressing him out. And then it's

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Speaker 6: like if he like op says, like, if he really

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Speaker 6: does care about his wife, then he's stressed out about

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Speaker 6: her recovery, which becomes this negative feedback weep of like,

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Speaker 6: even though he's stressed about it, he's like having a breakdown,

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Speaker 6: and now that stress is actually making his wife even worse.

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Speaker 4: It's hard.

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Speaker 5: I really think it's just keep a very close eye

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Speaker 5: on him because this was not okay. None of this

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Speaker 5: was okay, And if you wanted to divorce him, I

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00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 5: would be like, yeah, that makes sense. But I think

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Speaker 5: because OPI is saying never happened before, I have a kid,

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Speaker 5: apologized and is saying I'll go to couple's counseling, I

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Speaker 5: understand why she wants to give him a second chance.

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Speaker 4: My married boss has been giving me spicy signals, but

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Speaker 4: I rejected her advances.

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Speaker 2: Ah, get that bag dog.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you can use that against your boss. It doesn't

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Speaker 4: say male. Just as an I, thirty one, still don't

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Speaker 4: know how to feel how it happened and why she

299
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Speaker 4: wants this. She's forty seven, married and I've been working

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Speaker 4: with her for three years, and until last week, our

301
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,440
Speaker 4: relationship was very good but strictly professional. The most that

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Speaker 4: had happened between us is a kiss on the cheek

303
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Speaker 4: when she greets me in the morning, as she does

304
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Speaker 4: with almost everyone. Wow, she got a little europeansbably.

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Speaker 2: Might get a little tongue, though.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I think she wants to give you a little tongue.

307
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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user battery Mad on

308
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Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime super at it. So. She

309
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,280
Speaker 4: and I spend a lot of time together as overtime.

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Speaker 4: She made me her right hand, taking me to meetings

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Speaker 4: and meals very often, sometimes just us. I've met her

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Speaker 4: husband fifty one, and we get along very well. For

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Speaker 4: what I've seen, they have a very good life and

314
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 4: a great marriage, and I understand where this came from.

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Speaker 4: She asked me to have lunch with her, as we

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00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 4: always do, but this time she kept looking at me,

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Speaker 4: asking about intimate details about me, all ending in her

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Speaker 4: saying she always been interested on me at first, considering

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Speaker 4: me kind of cute, like a puppy she was taken

320
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Speaker 4: care of. Ooh, But over time she started to look

321
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,840
Speaker 4: at me as a man. She had a feel for

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Speaker 4: attraction as we spent time together, and now wanted to

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Speaker 4: go deeper into this. I think she wanted you to

324
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Speaker 4: go deeper into her. I've always seen her as a

325
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,080
Speaker 4: mentor and a friend, nothing more. I owe her so much.

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00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,160
Speaker 4: She helped me to get this job, teach me a lot,

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Speaker 4: always giving me advice, and I'm very grateful to her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you over alat man, pay up. Yeah, it's time.

329
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Speaker 4: And because all of this, I'm afraid of any answer

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Speaker 4: I could give her. I'm not sure if our relationship

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Speaker 4: will become bitter, she could resent me, or things could

332
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 4: become uncomfortable, and I'm not comfortable with cheating. I can't

333
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 4: say yes. Even after she told me she had already

334
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,280
Speaker 4: solved it and wouldn't be a problem. She told me

335
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,200
Speaker 4: she would give me time to think about it, and

336
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 4: since then she kept behaving as always. But it feels

337
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 4: so different now. Sorry if I had any mistake writing this.

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Speaker 4: English is not my first language, dude.

339
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Speaker 2: They gotta be working in accounting. Well, the freakis people

340
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Speaker 2: I know are in accounting.

341
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,200
Speaker 4: What people do you know in accounting?

342
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Speaker 2: Dude? It makes sense because it's a really boring job.

343
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Speaker 4: And the US. Yeah, they need to make this to

344
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,080
Speaker 4: make it spicy. Yeah, make it worthwhile.

345
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Speaker 2: Why why are they doing freaking with sheets? Man? This

346
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,800
Speaker 2: is why they're they're freaking the.

347
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Speaker 4: Sheets, Satan the streets, freaking the sheets.

348
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Speaker 2: Not the EXL and the Excel sheets.

349
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Speaker 4: Ooh nice, there isn't up date? What would be?

350
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Speaker 2: I mean, just say no. If you don't feel comfortable,

351
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,640
Speaker 2: you could go, you know, you could level up.

352
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,760
Speaker 4: You say no, and then you got hr Yeah. But again,

353
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,600
Speaker 4: this woman has done everything for you and made you

354
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Speaker 4: her right hand manned.

355
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're in a tight spot.

356
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 4: Dude, You're in a tight spot. Let's read the update.

357
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 4: Reading the comments had helped a lot into understanding a

358
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 4: lots of things. First of all, it was hard for

359
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 4: me to even think about being sexually harassed by my boss.

360
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 4: I couldn't comprehend of being a victim because I didn't

361
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,200
Speaker 4: feel like it. But so many of you pointing to

362
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,480
Speaker 4: it made me realize about the context. After thinking a

363
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,680
Speaker 4: lot that night, I decided to do what most people

364
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 4: told me, start collecting evidence about the situation and her

365
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 4: behavior to have something I can use to protect myself.

366
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 4: That's actually very smart. Over those first days, I had

367
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,600
Speaker 4: some text with her saying what she wanted, but something

368
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,080
Speaker 4: just felt off. I didn't feel comfortable. I owe so

369
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 4: much to this woman that I just couldn't do this

370
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,080
Speaker 4: without giving her at least a last chance to come clear.

371
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 4: I asked her if we could talk, just the two

372
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,000
Speaker 4: of us, just in case I had my recording audio.

373
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Speaker 2: Uh oh, this is a dual sensual state or not?

374
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:05,480
Speaker 4: I don't know.

375
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 6: Hmmm.

376
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 4: I stayed at her office after the job. On her words,

377
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,160
Speaker 4: it would be the better place to have privacy. Oo.

378
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,440
Speaker 4: I told her I thought about her offer. She was

379
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 4: curious about my answer, but something felt weird. Is she

380
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 4: testing him? Do you think she's testing her?

381
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 2: Maybe?

382
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,080
Speaker 4: I decided to be completely honest with her, so I

383
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 4: told her that, with all the respects she deserved, I

384
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 4: was declining her offer. When she asked why and if

385
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 4: I didn't consider her attractive, I told her that before

386
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,520
Speaker 4: all this was a situation, I could see her as

387
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 4: a mentor and as a friend that I admire, respect,

388
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,680
Speaker 4: and I'm very grateful to her. But I just couldn't.

389
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,080
Speaker 4: I told her that the fact she is a married woman,

390
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 4: even if she says that she would be that shouldn't

391
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 4: be a problem, makes me too uncomfortable. I respect her,

392
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 4: and I might I respect myself a lot too to

393
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,000
Speaker 4: be a part on this affair that in other circumstances,

394
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 4: if she wasn't married, I would be glad to accept

395
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 4: her invitation.

396
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,600
Speaker 2: Wow, But for our sake.

397
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 4: And the sake of our job relationship, I must say no.

398
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 2: Oh, now she's gonna want it even more.

399
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, you want what you can't have.

400
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

401
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 4: At first, she seemed to be calm. Okay, she accepted

402
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 4: my answer and promised me that there would be no

403
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 4: problem between us. Oh right, right, But she slowly started

404
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 4: to break down. Oh no, until she was crying a lot.

405
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,920
Speaker 4: Oh no, she seems so hurt, so heartbroken. I didn't

406
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 4: know what to do except for hugging her tight and

407
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,919
Speaker 4: trying to calm her. This is how she hooks you

408
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 4: in what she's sinking her teeth into him. She's like,

409
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:34,679
Speaker 4: I'm emotionally.

410
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 2: There's probably something going on behind the scenes. We don't know.

411
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 4: I don't know.

412
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,640
Speaker 2: Let's get more contact before we sum.

413
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 4: After she calmed down a little, she told me everything.

414
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 4: Some weeks ago, she found that her husband was cheating

415
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 4: on her. Oh it was the fourth time.

416
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

417
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 4: She told me about their marriage that for both of them,

418
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 4: separation or divorce is not an option. They love each

419
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 4: other and the idea of being a part is too

420
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaker 4: much for them. They tried it after the second time

421
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 4: he cheated and both felt miserable. Hmmm, so she ends

422
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,120
Speaker 4: up forgiving him, giving him another chance, and they live

423
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 4: happy until he cheats again.

424
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:13,119
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

425
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,280
Speaker 4: She told me that over the years he had been

426
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 4: the best husband she can ask for, but after the

427
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,919
Speaker 4: last time, she was so tired of all of this.

428
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 4: She was about to end things with him, but they

429
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,919
Speaker 4: talked and decided to give a last chance on their marriage.

430
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 4: That's when her husband convinced her to have her own affair. Hey, honey,

431
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 4: I love you so much. I know I've cheated on

432
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 4: you four times. You know all will make this fair?

433
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 4: Oh is if you have an affair? Oh ah, you

434
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 4: know that makes sense four to one? Right?

435
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, And I bet he's gonna take a

436
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,440
Speaker 2: well whenever she does out affair.

437
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, he'd be like, oh now it's even so I'm

438
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 4: gonna do it again.

439
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 2: No, he's no.

440
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 4: I think he's say, oh yeah, he's a blow up.

441
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:49,679
Speaker 2: He's gonna be pissed.

442
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 4: Yeah. In order to save their marriage, they wanted to

443
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 4: open it. That's why she proposed it. It was like

444
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 4: a way to make things fair between them. It's an

445
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 4: eye for an eye and that everyone just gets blind.

446
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 2: Well do you sleep with her at this point or not?

447
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 2: Do you know what Keelon's answer is.

448
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 4: I'll be like, oh man, your marriage is a trouble.

449
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 4: Let me help you out.

450
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 2: Let me save it.

451
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say I'm gonna save.

452
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 2: This marriage, save this marriage tonight.

453
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 4: She explained to me that she decided to ask me

454
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 4: as I was the only one she could trust enough

455
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 4: to ask for something like that. And she hopes that

456
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 4: after all we have done together, I can't at least

457
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,120
Speaker 4: think about it without creating a problem or telling anyone.

458
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 4: This is a Now it's like a weird dynamic. Yeah,

459
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 4: now it's all out there?

460
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 2: She manipulating? Or is this actually what's going on? I mean, yeah, yeah,

461
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I'm going to need written permission from

462
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 2: your husband that this is what's happening.

463
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 4: I need a side document that he's this is all

464
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 4: allowed and this is good.

465
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 2: Passed the HR. And I think we can make this happen.

466
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 4: I think if we can schedule this. But after I

467
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 4: told her I wanted to talk, she started to have

468
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,439
Speaker 4: lots of doubts and regretted to ask me, but she

469
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 4: believed I was about to say yes, And after I

470
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 4: said no, she had so much relief and immediately felt heartbroken.

471
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 4: But you couldn't feel heartbroken with us if you're joining

472
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 4: us live three pm PSD every weekday. Just tap our profile.

473
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 2: Wow, so he's not going through with it?

474
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, because he is. He said he is in a relationship. Yep, yeah, okay,

475
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 4: if he wasn't in a relationship.

476
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 2: No, no, no, he's not doing it because she's in a relationship.

477
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,440
Speaker 4: I don't think he's a relationship, but I also think

478
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 4: he's not.

479
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: He's not, he's not. This is a crazy entanglement. Though,

480
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 2: if you make this happen, keep talking.

481
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 4: I want to check if he is in I don't.

482
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 2: I don't think so smart that they are weary of

483
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 2: this and not going for it. I appreciate this from

484
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 2: Op because once you go down, once you cross that line, dude, no,

485
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 2: it gets tricky, it gets it gets weird. Yeah.

486
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 4: I think he doesn't say anything about a partner which

487
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 4: is single. He's single.

488
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, we already know what is gonna do.

489
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 4: No, I'm I'm gonna say I'm proud of Op really

490
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 4: not trying to affect the relationship. But now this is

491
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 4: this is all open, This is like a weird dynamic.

492
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 4: You're like, I have the green light. Yeah, let's see

493
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 4: what he is discussed further between Op and his boss.

494
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 4: She said she loved her husband and after all, she

495
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 4: couldn't do this to him. She felt so guilty for

496
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 4: accepting this idea, for accepting all the ideas that would

497
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 4: be followed after doing it. And the thing that hurt

498
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 4: her the most is that she realized she wasn't able

499
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 4: to do this to him. Wow, but he had done

500
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 4: it to her more than once.

501
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 2: Tough.

502
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 4: I consoled her for hours. When we were done talking

503
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 4: and left to our homes, it was almost midnight, she

504
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 4: thanked me for everything for consoling her, for her trust,

505
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 4: for being a gentleman, and promised me that everything will

506
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 4: be fine, and she said she was happy. I ended

507
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 4: up being loyal and a good friend. After that, the

508
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,719
Speaker 4: weekend was very quiet, and today she seemed to be

509
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 4: way better. She told me everything is okay. They're talking

510
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 4: and I don't have anything to worry about.

511
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 2: Good luck girl.

512
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 4: Oh, he made their like gentlemen move, gentlemen move. I

513
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 4: like that he made this the best move. At the

514
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 4: very end of the day, his boss didn't want to

515
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 4: do it.

516
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

517
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 4: Like it seems like the idea was forced upon her

518
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 4: by her husband.

519
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 2: And talking out with her. That's that's awesome.

520
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, she seems like she just trusts you a lot,

521
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 4: which is great. Now she can trust you more, trust

522
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 4: you even more, so you get to definitely get a promotion.

523
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 4: You gotta get a promotion and maybe a bonus or

524
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 4: maybe take your job boners. But that's the end of

525
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 4: that story.

526
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 2: Again, I traded a boner for a bonus.

527
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 4: WHOA, there's such an immature duo.

528
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 2: WHOA. I ruined my best friend's engagement because I found

529
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: out she was cheating.

530
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,399
Speaker 4: Why are you cheating?

531
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 2: Me thirty and my best friend Mary thirty one, I've

532
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: been friends for eight years. During this friendship, Mary was

533
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 2: aware that cheating in a relationship is that big no

534
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 2: no for me, as all decent people should. Even when

535
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 2: I find out celebrities, colleagues, or even people I don't

536
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 2: know break up because of cheating. I get this bitter

537
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 2: taste in my mouth, as you should. By the way,

538
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 2: this comes from tear relative on the r slash Okay

539
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 2: story Tom subred up. So it's all because all my

540
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 2: life my dad is a serial cheater, and even now

541
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 2: after thirty four years, he still is. It started when

542
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 2: Mary and I worked together on a cruise ship for

543
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 2: the first time. In our years of working on different contracts,

544
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 2: we finally got the same shit and same contract dates.

545
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 4: Nice.

546
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: She is already engaged by this time and will be

547
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 2: married in just a few months, so almost all the

548
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: preparations are done. And since we are on a cruise

549
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 2: ship and far away from our country, Mary and her

550
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: fiance Mark are on a long distant relationship, nothing could

551
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: go wrong.

552
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 4: No, not at all.

553
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: Right, all I see is success from moving forward. I

554
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 2: can only imagine planning a wedding apart from your partner.

555
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 2: I know it's been hard on her. Over the course

556
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 2: of our six month contract together, she developed a lot

557
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 2: of guy friends within the crew, people who work on

558
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: board the ship. I, on the other hand, don't drink,

559
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 2: so I sleep early since I work eleven hours every day.

560
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: Oftentimes she goes back to our cabin wasted, or sometimes

561
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: with her new friends in the middle of the night.

562
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 4: I hope those are the girlfriends.

563
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it will wake me sometimes not which being

564
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 2: a crew member for years of living with different kinds

565
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 2: of roommates, I'm used to it. But one night I

566
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,640
Speaker 2: cannot fall asleep because my partner and I had a fight,

567
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 2: and I was waiting for him to reply, I heard

568
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 2: someone open the door, and I heard a man's voice

569
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 2: snickering obviously not to make a noise, and Mary's shushing

570
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: noise followed him.

571
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 4: Oh no, Mary, what are you doing?

572
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 2: For context, we live on a cabin with a bunk bed,

573
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: and I'm a talk bunk and I have curtains for privacy.

574
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 2: Obviously they won't be able to tell if I'm awake

575
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 2: or not. Then I heard kissing noises and felt movements

576
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 2: soon after they were doing the deed.

577
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 4: No stop her or not? I record it? I record no, no, no,

578
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 4: just for evidence.

579
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no.

580
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 4: No no for evidence, for evidence, for evidence, evidencedence for evidence,

581
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 4: for evidence, for evidence, so you can send it to

582
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 4: her partner, because you think her partner is gonna believe you,

583
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 4: Like I don't know who you are. You have evidence,

584
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 4: you need proof. You can't just say lies.

585
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 2: My gut fell and I wanted to be a mean

586
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 2: nosy beebe and go down and ask them what they

587
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: think they are doing. But I just stopped myself, telling

588
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: myself it's none of my business and that I can

589
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 2: do it her tomorrow. Yeah you might, I would record

590
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 2: them leaving together.

591
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 4: At least some proof maybe like not even more of

592
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 4: the video proof, like you can hear them like oh

593
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 4: you know, you know it's her, or like a picture

594
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 4: of something, something, something that's worth proof.

595
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 2: The next day I came and talk to her to

596
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 2: cut the story short. She's been feeling sad and she's

597
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 2: been having cold teat She felt love to scene by

598
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 2: this guy, and when they would talk, he just makes

599
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 2: her feel everything she will be giving up when she

600
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 2: gets married. For context again, Mark is her first boyfriend

601
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: and they've been together for ten years.

602
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 4: Ten years, Mary, ten years.

603
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 2: Keon could never She said she just feels that she

604
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,400
Speaker 2: has been missing out on being with him for so long.

605
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 2: And she said she wanted to try some new things.

606
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, new new guy, A new guy is a new thing.

607
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 2: I argued with her that if this was the case,

608
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: she should break up with Mark instead of sleeping around

609
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 2: and cheating. I told her that if she gets married

610
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: with these thoughts in her head, she would end up

611
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 2: hurting Mark. Plus, there's no divorce in our country, only

612
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 2: a moment, and it's a heck to pay. It's not

613
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 2: an ex just to side to on haha. She said

614
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 2: she would think about it and would wait for the

615
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 2: right time. But apparently her think about it means she

616
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: still sleeps around with this guy. Yeah, she's sleeping on it.

617
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 2: She went to say, she's sleeping on it.

618
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 4: She's literally sleeping on it.

619
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: I hate every bit of it, but she asked me

620
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: not to say anything and not to ruin anything. I

621
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 2: am not a part of I've known this guy as

622
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 2: much as I know her. Mark, my boyfriend, and I

623
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 2: bond on music, biking, and he is practically like a

624
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 2: big brother to me.

625
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 4: Uh oh.

626
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 2: But I also want to respect Mary's life and her decisions. No,

627
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 2: I continue to be there for her to make her

628
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 2: mental breakdowns and her bad days. When she feels really

629
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 2: bad with the things she has been doing, I advise

630
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 2: her to do the right thing and tell them, but

631
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 2: she asked me to promise not to tell. Inside. I

632
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 2: feel so bad because this is not what my convictions

633
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 2: are telling me. I know I have to be honest,

634
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 2: and I feel I am betraying Mark by not telling him,

635
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: And in a weird way, I feel like the trauma

636
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: I had growing up with my father that cheated now

637
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 2: with the best friend who does the same thing is

638
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 2: taking a toll on me. That's not a far assumption

639
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 2: to make. I actually got so anxious with this situation

640
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: that I often zone out, had no appetite, and actually

641
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 2: lost a lot of why oh you gotta ultimatum you

642
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: gotta go eat a tomato? And ultimatum marry right now?

643
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 4: Why a tomato?

644
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: Because she's not eating?

645
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but like, why a tomato?

646
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 2: Ultimatum tomato? It was a joke. I'm a comedian, dude,

647
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 2: this is what I do. I'm working laugh.

648
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 4: Of laughing, just not not with you, just at you.

649
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: No laugh with Okay, you know what, either one gets

650
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: the job done, you laugh.

651
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 4: But yeah, that if it's taking a real jerious toll

652
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,679
Speaker 4: on you and you have to tell someone first, go

653
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 4: up to Mary like I'm going to tell him if

654
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 4: you don't tell them.

655
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, our contracts pass and we're about to go home

656
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: in a few weeks, and she's still sleeping with the

657
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 2: guy and some others, some others.

658
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 4: Now you have others you wanted to try, some newer things.

659
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 2: Still thinking about it, still not letting go of Mark,

660
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 2: and still going through the wedding preps. This has been

661
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 2: six months. They've been out to sea for six months, it's.

662
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 4: Hell, I'm telling you if it was just the one guy,

663
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 4: and like, it's like, all right, I get it. But

664
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 4: now with multiple guys.

665
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: Dude, and she still begs me not to say anything.

666
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how many times I've drafted a

667
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: message on my notepad composing what I would tell Mark.

668
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 2: There was also times Mark messaged me and asked me

669
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 2: by Mary seems so distant lately, the urge to say

670
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 2: the truth is really hard to suppress. But because I

671
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 2: love Mary so much and I try to be understanding

672
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 2: and wanted her to tell it directly to him so

673
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 2: as not to humiliate their ten year relationship. Fast forward.

674
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 2: I came home a week before her being back in

675
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: to the Philippines.

676
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 4: Let's go Benoi proud, Pinoai proud.

677
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 2: And seeing my mom waiting for me in the airport,

678
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: so beautiful and kind, and yet knowing how much she

679
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: feels unloved by my dad made me snap up. On

680
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 2: that day, I came home and I sent a WhatsApp

681
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: message to Mary. I'm telling Mark, let's go and turn

682
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: my phone off. I met up with Mark that same

683
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: night and told him everything.

684
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 4: This is gonna be so juicy.

685
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: He was dumbfounded. He was crying, and we spent five

686
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: hours at that coffee shop talking and just him on

687
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: a roller coaster of anger, sadness, and just plain pity

688
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 2: on himself. Really, he really does love her so much.

689
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I took him home. He was just

690
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 2: staring in his space on the car ride home, and

691
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: I feel so bad that I had this lingering feeling

692
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: that I know I did the right thing, but I

693
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: also caused pain. You didn't cause pain, girl.

694
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,719
Speaker 4: It's it's like a bandid. You gotta rip it off.

695
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you ripped the band aid off. But he's having

696
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: a fix.

697
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 4: One's gonna be stinging for a little bit. But it's

698
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 4: better than you know, not telling him him getting married

699
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 4: to Mary.

700
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, oh wow.

701
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 4: Oh yeah yeah, and finding out somehow some hopefully finding

702
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 4: out eventually, but sooner is better.

703
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 2: When I woke up and turned my phone on, I

704
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 2: had hundreds of texts, miss calls, and even emails saying

705
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: that I answer the phone, that I am an ungrateful friend,

706
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: backstabber and stupid, and that I just wanted to see

707
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: her fall because I'm jealous of her. Okay, now we're

708
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: just Now we're just throwing punches without looking too many.

709
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 4: Too many playthings are going on in Mary's head.

710
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: Like if you're gonna say something, say something more personal,

711
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, I'd be like, oh, no, one likes it.

712
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 2: Whenever you snore.

713
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 4: You just want to be me?

714
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like come on, like like in this moment,

715
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: like she she's not even clever. I'm sorry, that's mean, but.

716
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 4: You want to be me? Yeah, dude, I really want

717
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 4: to be the scummy cheater that's you know everyone.

718
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 2: Oh dude. She said she was planning to go home

719
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: and confess to him directly so that she can reason

720
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 2: with him to continue with the wedding despite the circumstances.

721
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 2: Wedding's over, there's no wedding. She said that she had

722
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: never seen this evil side of me, and she pities

723
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: me because there's nothing interesting going on in my life

724
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: that I had to cause drama in other people's lives.

725
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 2: And you can see drama filled in other people's lives

726
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 2: every weekday at three PMPST. Just tap our profile. She's

727
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 2: trying to heard her with words, man, but like.

728
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 4: It's done, it's done, dude. If I'm going to lose

729
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 4: my friend because they're making scummy moves and they know

730
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 4: they're making scummy moves.

731
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, bye, cool cool. I'm gonna I'm not

732
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: gonna like be not eaten and not feeling like a

733
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 2: bad person because of this. And was it the right

734
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: thing to wait six months before telling him?

735
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 4: Actually no, I would have told him.

736
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 2: But but you were to live with you would in

737
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: bunk to bed with her.

738
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 4: I don't care what is she gonna do? What is

739
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 4: she gonna do?

740
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: You're gonna she knows where you sleep?

741
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 4: What is she gonna do?

742
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 2: Who knows she knows where you're sleep?

743
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 4: She's just gonna keep sleeping with the guys if anything.

744
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like she knows where you sleep and she

745
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 2: could hurt you.

746
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 4: I'd be like, I'm doing you a favor because one

747
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 4: helping Mark out, helping you out and helping those guys

748
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 4: that you want to help out. Do you do you

749
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 4: think and I'm really hoping that we already know the answer.

750
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 4: But when Mary gets home and talks to Mark, do

751
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 4: you think there's still gonna be a wedding?

752
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 2: Oh? No? I Well, if Mary were to talk to Mark,

753
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: she could have manipulated a wedding. No, this isn't gonna

754
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: be a wedding anymore. No, No, I felt worse. I

755
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 2: haven't replied to her, and it has been three weeks

756
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 2: from then to today as of writing it. I deactivated

757
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 2: all of my socials because I heard from my friend

758
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: that she has been posting cryptic status online. They just

759
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: called it off and informed everyone on the guest list.

760
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: I still receive emails from her to this day saying

761
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 2: I hope you're happy and you're not a hero, You're

762
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 2: a villain. Mark Han messaged me saying thanks, but that's

763
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 2: about it. I think he is also off the grid

764
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: and not talking to anyone. I feel so so bad,

765
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 2: and the way she reacted to me made me feel

766
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: like I an a hole for telling so am I

767
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: sorry for the long story. I'm just really riding the

768
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 2: way I feel and it is so still fresh.

769
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 4: You did the right, the right thing.

770
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 2: Everyone here hopefully would have done the right thing.

771
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 4: This is one of those things where everyone loses. Yeah,

772
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 4: oh yeah, yeah, everyone loses, but it's the right thing,

773
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 4: especially on your conscience.

774
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: And being a warrior of the truth is a hard

775
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: path to follow.

776
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 4: One hundred percent.

777
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's say I'm your ogi host here, bring it

778
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from

779
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: our sponsor.

780
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 4: I caught my boyfriend cheating on me and I can't

781
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 4: stop bringing it up.

782
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 2: Hey by, remember that one time cheated on me?

783
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 4: Oh I didn't she on you?

784
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah you did? Watch this?

785
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 4: No, don't bring it up anymore, please. Twenty four female

786
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 4: have been with my boyfriend twenty six mail for more

787
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 4: than four years now.

788
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: Nice.

789
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 4: I'm still a full time student and he works as

790
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: a software engineer. I live with my family, and even

791
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 4: though my boyfriend has separate accommodations of his own, he

792
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 4: spends almost all his waking hours at our place except

793
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 4: when he's at work. He stays busy almost all day

794
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 4: with his work and then tutors some kids in the evening,

795
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 4: so he's very busy. By the way, This comes from

796
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 4: user impossible Resort eight a two on the r slash

797
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 4: Okay storytime separate. So throughout the years, I've caught him

798
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 4: texting other girls a number of times, already a big

799
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 4: red flag. They exchanged intimate conversations and photos a few times.

800
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 4: It was his ex who cheated on him. Each time

801
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 4: we talked about it, and then I let it go.

802
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 4: I let it go because it was all online and

803
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 4: thought these were just temporary flings he had when he

804
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 4: got bored.

805
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: But there are real people behind those screens.

806
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 4: These are real messages and real feelings.

807
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: Unless there are the hot moms that are always two

808
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: miles away from you, then those might not be the

809
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 2: actual Hama.

810
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 4: That's just another dude. I'm not ugly. I just have

811
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 4: very plain features. Oh o pee, no, don't do this stop.

812
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 4: Come on, nothing attractive. My body's a bit messed up

813
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 4: because of a few surgeries I've had when I was

814
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 4: a kid. My boyfriend has never had any issues with

815
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 4: how I looked or my scars. But the girls he's

816
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 4: texted were very good looking with near perfect bodies. So

817
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 4: I let it go, thinking that maybe he needed a

818
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,959
Speaker 4: break from all the not so normal body of mine.

819
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 2: Ah. He can let you go and do that, but

820
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: you don't need to be okay with that. Yeah that's ah, girl,

821
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: that's so sad, like like two double negatives two wrongs

822
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: do not make it right. Yeah number one. Gotta get

823
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,280
Speaker 2: that confidence up, girl, I'll raise that. It's brad summer,

824
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,479
Speaker 2: it's brat winter. Bro, we gotta get up up.

825
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 4: Only looked up, but As he grew busy, he started

826
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 4: giving less attention to me. For nearly a year, we

827
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 4: had very frequent arguments and we stayed angry at each

828
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 4: other quite often. Then this girl came into our lives

829
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 4: to mess everything up. Let's call her Bad Nice. This

830
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 4: is the first time I've ever I like this. Bad

831
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 4: and my boyfriend used to work out in the same

832
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 4: gym Oh no, My boyfriend is a very, very and

833
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 4: some man, unlike me. He's very attractive with the great

834
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 4: bodybuilder fastique. We got a stop. I don't like reading this,

835
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 4: so Bad fell in love with him. She started following

836
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 4: him everywhere and got a place to stay near his place,

837
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 4: made friends with his friends. She was everywhere around him.

838
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 4: She got his number from his friends and starting to

839
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 4: call and text him. I never knew about this until

840
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 4: one day I received a text from an unknown number

841
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 4: saying that Bad and my boyfriend were in a separate

842
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 4: relationship and that they were sleeping with each other. Oh

843
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 4: my gosh. M My boyfriend was at work and I

844
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 4: called him immediately to come home and explain. He came

845
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 4: home and explained how things were. He said everything was

846
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 4: a lie and that he never had any relationship with

847
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 4: her and never slept with her. She was creating a

848
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 4: constant disturbance in his life, even though he made it

849
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 4: clear to her that he was in a relationship.

850
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 2: Okay, well then stop talking to her. Is messing up

851
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 2: your relationship.

852
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 4: Working out with her? That's no longer your gym, buddy.

853
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, go find a new gym, buddy.

854
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 4: That was the truth. He showed me all the converse

855
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 4: stations they had, and he was telling the truth. He

856
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 4: never told me anything to keep me away from the ugliness.

857
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 4: So even though I was disturbed and hurt, I understood

858
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 4: and let that go too. But we kind of became worse.

859
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 4: He got busier and I became a total attention freak.

860
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 4: I never talked too much, but now I wanted to.

861
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 4: I had so much going on in my mind and

862
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 4: he was the only one I had to talk to,

863
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 4: so I wanted it. I wanted and demanded all his attention.

864
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 4: I have never had any friends because I don't talk.

865
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 4: Even my phone holds only eighty contacts so far, that's

866
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 4: still eighty. That's that's eighty contacts. Girl. Oh my gosh,

867
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 4: So you have your boyfriend minus one, you have seventy

868
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 4: nine people. You can talk to. So my boyfriend and

869
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 4: I planned a trip together. We went to an adventure

870
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 4: course to the Himalayas and enjoyed our time there. All right,

871
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 4: most of the other people in the course were kids

872
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 4: fourteen to eighteen, only a few proper adults. Strangely, kids

873
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 4: are easier to make friends with, so I got really

874
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 4: close with the fourteen year old girl who was my roommate,

875
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 4: and my boyfriend made friends with two other boys eighteen

876
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 4: and nineteen two. All of us stayed glued together. So

877
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 4: the trip was over. About two weeks after we were

878
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 4: back home, the eighteen year old boy from the group

879
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 4: started contacting me. At first, it was the how are

880
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 4: you and how was your date kind of things. Then

881
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 4: as we talked, it felt good. I felt good to

882
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 4: have someone to talk to. I started over sharing it

883
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 4: with this boy, and strangely, he was mature and thoughtful

884
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 4: with the conversations.

885
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 2: Okay, I get that he's eighteen, but you did what

886
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 2: are you doing?

887
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 4: Well?

888
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 2: You should be talking while we're into relationship.

889
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 4: Especially some intimate stuff.

890
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

891
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 4: I craved this from my boyfriend. That's the point where

892
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 4: I got distracted by the attention I was getting from

893
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 4: somewhere else. I grew closer and closer to the boy

894
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 4: and became emotionally dependent on him. Oh no, oh no,

895
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 4: and I wanted to talk to him more and more,

896
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 4: and I felt that he understood me so well. Then

897
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 4: one day he said that if I had been single,

898
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,919
Speaker 4: he totally date me, even though I was way older. Yeah.

899
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 4: We knew what the boy was doing, and at that

900
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 4: point everything that was civil up until now went fairal

901
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 4: I thought if I didn't entertain him, stopped talking to

902
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 4: me and not give me his attention. So I started

903
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 4: flirting with him. What is this story?

904
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I'm confused to what's going on here?

905
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,919
Speaker 4: Who's cheating on? Who? Here? Yeah?

906
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: Why why are we in? Yeah? Why are we doing

907
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 2: this sort of selves?

908
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 4: Then my boyfriend caught on. It was shameful. I knew

909
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 4: way before what I was doing was wrong, but now

910
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 4: it hurt to see my boyfriend hurt. He thought I

911
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,280
Speaker 4: betrayed him, which I did. I obviously did. I shouldn't

912
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 4: have enjoyed anyone else's attention. I apologize for everything and

913
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 4: stopped contacting the boy. Time went by and everything got

914
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 4: normal again. My boyfriend cut down on his tutoring and

915
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 4: had started to spend more time with me. Okay, everything

916
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 4: was going absolutely wonder.

917
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 2: So this made your relationship stronger, I guess, hahaha.

918
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 4: It made the boys into men in some ways. Here

919
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 4: until one day when I was using his phone, I

920
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 4: came across a folder at that explicit photos of him

921
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 4: and bad doing it.

922
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: Oh oh boy wow, and all.

923
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 4: The dates that they went together. He had photos of

924
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: her sleeping in his apartment and he even went to

925
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 4: meet with her parents at her her home. Oh boy,

926
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 4: my world came crashing. I again called him to come

927
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 4: to my place from work, and he came. He didn't

928
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 4: talk for long while when I told him what I

929
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 4: had found. Then he apologized, saying that it was a mistake.

930
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 4: He told me this would never happen again, that he

931
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 4: would be with me forever, listen to me always, and

932
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 4: marry me in the future. But you know he can

933
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 4: do with us in the future, joining us live three

934
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 4: pm PST every weekday. Just tap her profile.

935
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 2: Why are we doing this to ourselves?

936
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 6: Girl?

937
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,919
Speaker 2: Okay, I understand you think this is probably the best

938
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 2: person you can ever be with in your live.

939
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 4: I want to scream into like a pillow right now

940
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 4: because this is so.

941
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 2: Dumb and more. Confidence is down.

942
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 4: No, I know her confidence is down, but like it's

943
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,280
Speaker 4: like you wanted attention from another boy, so you were cheating.

944
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 4: You knew your boyfriend was cheating. You saw all the

945
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 4: red flags from the very beginning of the story. This

946
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 4: is just such a messy mess that should have just

947
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 4: like end the relationship.

948
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, way, way long ago.

949
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 4: I know. The confidence thing is a big thing, but

950
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:54,919
Speaker 4: you can do that and work on yourself. You don't

951
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 4: need a man to like make you feel confident, especially

952
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,439
Speaker 4: when he's not giving you what you want.

953
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, this makes me so frustrated. Everyone break up, break

954
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 2: each other.

955
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 4: Break up. You both are not good for each other.

956
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 2: Everyone break up.

957
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously the boyfriend cheated and manipulated her and

958
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 4: he's the a hole. But again, Opie is no saint here.

959
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 4: Oh no, Now, you saw the red flags that were

960
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 4: immediately in your face. You believed your boyfriend who was

961
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 4: manipulating you, and then you were cheating on him with

962
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 4: this boy that you went on a trip to with

963
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 4: the all this is all good.

964
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 2: Yikes, yi Ice, yikes, but I was confused.

965
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 4: For a while whether to stay with him or break

966
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 4: it off. Why are you saying that you already know

967
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 4: I had all my first with him, for my first kiss,

968
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,439
Speaker 4: to the first guy I brought home, to the first

969
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 4: person I slept with. I didn't want to do all

970
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 4: these with anyone else, so I stayed.

971
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 2: Dang, that's tough.

972
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 4: It had been more than a year now since, but

973
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 4: it still bothers me. Still don't understand why he did that.

974
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 4: He never told me why he did that. Instead, he

975
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 4: just said it was a mistake. It still bothers me

976
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 4: that he could do that to me. When I made

977
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 4: a mistake with the boy, my boyfriend forgave me and

978
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 4: he never brought it up since then, But I tend

979
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 4: to bring up his cheating on me sometimes when we argue.

980
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for doing this? Just break up? Yeah?

981
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 2: You guys are both developing toxic like relationships why and

982
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 2: you need to break it by.

983
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 4: I know it's very hard because this guy is like

984
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 4: your first for everything, but you know these are all

985
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 4: platant red flags that are not good for you. This

986
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 4: is not healthy at all. And the fact that you

987
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 4: get like you hold this over his head as like

988
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 4: a little like you have to stay with me now,

989
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 4: but you cheated on me so like, what are you

990
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 4: going to do? What are we gonna do? That's just

991
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 4: the fact that you're saying that out loud. You cheated

992
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 4: on me, so like we're in an argument. I get

993
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 4: the uses against you. Yeah that's terrible.

994
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is all bad.

995
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 4: Boyfriend's a whole OPI I think you just need to

996
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 4: get out of this. I know, work on the confidence,

997
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 4: work on yourself. You deserve way way better. You will

998
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 4: find someone who's better for you and will give you

999
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 4: all the attention you deserve and all the love you

1000
00:41:55,680 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 4: deserve and won't manipulate you and lie to you. My friend,

1001
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 4: he called me a bad influence for being child free,

1002
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 4: but now he wants me to babysit. It's now your

1003
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 4: burden to bear first. This isn't a post where I'm

1004
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 4: asking if I did the right thing or not. I

1005
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 4: know I did the right thing. This is a pure

1006
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 4: rant about this emotional day, because if anyone is going

1007
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 4: to understand, it's you all in the child free community.

1008
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 4: The gist a former friend, Dave not real name, who

1009
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 4: I haven't had any contact for almost three years, just

1010
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 4: got in touch with me again. He claims he has

1011
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,399
Speaker 4: a home emergency and needs to find a place for him,

1012
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 4: his wife, three kids to stay while the home situation

1013
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 4: gets fixed. Okay, this is the same guy who, when

1014
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 4: I was going through something traumatic, told me he can't

1015
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 4: be my friend because I'd be a bad influence to

1016
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 4: his kids being a child free. By the way, this

1017
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 4: comes from user caton Entanglement on the r slash. Okay,

1018
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,439
Speaker 4: storytime separated, so a bit of a background. The reason

1019
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 4: for the friendship ending. I was in a high stressed

1020
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 4: situation and very sad. My father just passed was just

1021
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 4: one of the terrible things that had happened at a

1022
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 4: span of three months. True, I was looking for consolation,

1023
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 4: and instead Dave told me that being a child free

1024
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 4: woman was a bad influence on their family. He already

1025
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 4: had a wife and two kids. Then, in short, they

1026
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 4: didn't want to spend time around me, as I wasn't

1027
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 4: worth it when they have more valuable friends. This was

1028
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 4: someone I had known since graduate school, and I'd spent

1029
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: a lot of time doing fun stuff with like rock climbing.

1030
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 4: Dave and I were among a group of mutual buddies

1031
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 4: that regularly rented out lake houses or winter lodges for

1032
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 4: summer and winter sports. Activities. We're talking ten plus years

1033
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 4: then to just ditch me because he thought I wasn't useful.

1034
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 4: That hurt a lot, especially when I was dealing with

1035
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 4: some really, really sad stuff. Even more so because I

1036
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 4: was there for him when he found out his mom

1037
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 4: had cancer, and then was there for him at his

1038
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:42,760
Speaker 4: mom's funeral. Dave, you are an a hole mom, dude.

1039
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 4: Like I said, I haven't spoken or texted to him

1040
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,479
Speaker 4: in almost three years. I talked it up to people

1041
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 4: getting really weird when they have kids, that they fall

1042
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 4: into a traditional conservative mindset that anyone who isn't wanting

1043
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 4: or working toward a leave it to beaver slash two

1044
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 4: point five kids situation is somehow suspect. Then today I

1045
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 4: see a text pop up up on my phone and

1046
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 4: he guess who it's from?

1047
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 6: Dave.

1048
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 4: Dave, I never erased or blocked his number from Mike Phone,

1049
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 4: so his name was still saved, and there it was.

1050
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 4: He asked me to let him and his three kids

1051
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 4: stay with me at my house because they're water heater

1052
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 4: broke and it's kind of an emergency situation. He knows

1053
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 4: I now live in the same city as him, and

1054
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 4: it would be a really big favor and he'd owed me. Okay,

1055
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 4: so lots of emotions with that one, apparently, since he

1056
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 4: told me that I'm a bad influence. Him and his

1057
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 4: wife had a third kid, COVID baby. I guess my

1058
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 4: biggest question was why ask me? All people? I asked

1059
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 4: Dave why he's asking me to do this favor for him.

1060
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 4: His response was basically that he's all out of options

1061
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 4: and that no one has the room for him and

1062
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 4: the three kids, especially with the five month year old.

1063
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,399
Speaker 4: I asked him why he can't arrange a hotel room

1064
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 4: for them. He said that would be really expensive, and

1065
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 4: they're in a lot of medical debt already from their

1066
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 4: newest kid having to be in the NICU when he

1067
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 4: was born. I said that sounds tough, but again, why me?

1068
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 4: He said he knows. I helped out someone last year

1069
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,479
Speaker 4: with emergency housing, and so I had an extra room

1070
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 4: for guests. Since I was so je back then, I

1071
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 4: could be generous with him. Now, wow, I love this story.

1072
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 4: This story is crazy. I knew exactly what he was

1073
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 4: talking about, but I really wanted to know how that

1074
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,839
Speaker 4: situation was delicate and I thought a private family matter.

1075
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 4: He said it was posted on Facebook by the couple

1076
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 4: I helped quick segue about this time last year, one

1077
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 4: of my good college friends, Kate, had lupus and got

1078
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 4: COVID nineteen. She was being so careful too. It sucked

1079
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 4: because this was before the vaccines rolled out first for

1080
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 4: vulnerable people. She's my age, mid thirties and very healthy

1081
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 4: aside from lupus. She's a marathon runner. Actually, Kate's lupis

1082
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 4: ended up making COVID even worse, and she ended up

1083
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 4: in the ICU. On top of that, she was pregnant

1084
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 4: and her husband had to make the decision to save

1085
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 4: her life over the fetus. Basically, he was either giving

1086
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 4: life saving medicine and care to Kate at the expense

1087
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 4: of her fetus, or she thankfully he's a good guy,

1088
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 4: and let the doctors and the pregnancy to save her life.

1089
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 4: Kate's mother was a was a bee and said that

1090
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 4: her daughter should have with the baby. What the ay

1091
00:45:56,360 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 4: yai yai? She said, Kate's life is not worth much anymore,

1092
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 4: and even tried to bring in a priest to try

1093
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,799
Speaker 4: to give her her last rites. Kate was in a

1094
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,320
Speaker 4: coma at the time. This caused a huge dramatic fallout.

1095
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 4: As you would imagine, Kate's brother and his wife needed

1096
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 4: a place to stay away from their crap mother. Immediately,

1097
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 4: I had an extra room and I'm an easy distance

1098
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 4: from the hospital. They stayed with me for two days

1099
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 4: until they locked down a hotel room in one of

1100
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 4: those long term residence hotels. No one was sure Kate

1101
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 4: was going to make it out alive, so they understandably

1102
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 4: wanted to be nearby. They lived out of state and

1103
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 4: were staying with the crappy mother while their sister was

1104
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 4: in the hospital. Thankfully, Kate made it out alive and

1105
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 4: has since disowned her mother. She actually remembers while in

1106
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 4: the coma, people talking about the priests trying to break in. Dude,

1107
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 4: I let the brother and his wife into my home

1108
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 4: because these people were good people, have always been supportive

1109
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 4: and still are some of the most gracious people I know.

1110
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 4: Apparently unbeknownst to me, because I'm not on Facebook, is

1111
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 4: that either Kate's brother or his wife posted something about

1112
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 4: how much of a decent person I was to help

1113
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 4: them out in a dire moment of need and a

1114
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 4: light during a very dark period for them. You're valuable.

1115
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 4: They told me as much. To my face. I just

1116
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 4: didn't know that they shared the situation on social media.

1117
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 4: So back to the story, Dave saw that stuff last year,

1118
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 4: kept it in his head and thought I would let

1119
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 4: his family and kids into my home with open arms. Frankly,

1120
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 4: I told him to shove it. Shove it, Dave. I

1121
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 4: was pissed he was trying to guilt me into letting

1122
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 4: him and his family into my house for a unspecified

1123
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 4: amount of time that he knows I'm child free. He

1124
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 4: even said me being child free is a bad influence

1125
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 4: on his family, Yet all of a sudden, when it's

1126
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 4: convenient for him, I'm magically not a bad influence, and

1127
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 4: he should be able to waltz back into my life

1128
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 4: without even a single apology. But the crappy things he

1129
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 4: said three years ago, I told him, being child free

1130
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 4: means I don't want kids in my house for an

1131
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 4: extended period of time. If I did, I wouldn't be

1132
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 4: child free, Dave. But I was not going to disrupt

1133
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 4: my life and my two cats to be a bed

1134
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 4: and breakfast for his three kids. He said, I was

1135
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 4: selfish and to think of his kids. The fact, like,

1136
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 4: I want your help, but now you're being selfish and

1137
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 4: he did help my kids. He said I was being

1138
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 4: selfish and to think of his kids, that there's no

1139
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,399
Speaker 4: hot water in his house. I told him, tough crap,

1140
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 4: that he can whip out a credit card or get

1141
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 4: one of his relative to cover a hotel stay. He

1142
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 4: gave me more excuses, brought up their medical debt again

1143
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 4: and said it'll be only for a few days. You're

1144
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 4: stinky a hole, Dave. You did this to yourself only

1145
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 4: if you were nice and you know at valuable friends.

1146
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 4: I said that multiple days for a broken hot water

1147
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 4: heater sounds extremely suspect. Stuff like that can be fixed

1148
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 4: relatively quickly. I know residency laws in our state, and

1149
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 4: if someone stays seven days in someone's home, they can

1150
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 4: claim tenants' rights.

1151
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, what state.

1152
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 4: Do you live? Him let us know I was not

1153
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 4: about to risk this turning into a thing where I

1154
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 4: can't get rid of them. He told me off, and

1155
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 4: then said he will blast me all over social media

1156
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 4: into all my friends that I won't help a family

1157
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 4: of three in an emergency that I want little kids

1158
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 4: to suffer. Dude, David, this.

1159
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,240
Speaker 2: Is just a manipulator with words that he says. Whatever

1160
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 2: he wants to get whatever he wants.

1161
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, Davis still told him to pound sand and eat

1162
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: a wiener. He hasn't been a friend for years. He

1163
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 4: doesn't even know my address. All he knows is that

1164
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 4: I live seemingly close in the same city and that

1165
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 4: I live alone. He can blast me on social media

1166
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 4: all he wants. I'm not on Facebook, so I don't

1167
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 4: give a single crap what the gaggle of care and

1168
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 4: think of me. Told him, social media isn't real life.

1169
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 4: If he does actually share this with my actual friends,

1170
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 4: that they laugh right in his face. Told him I

1171
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 4: have all his texts for proof of the way he

1172
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 4: spoke to me and how he's being a big crap bag.

1173
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,239
Speaker 4: Told him he used to be a decent guy, that

1174
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 4: we had a lot of nice times together, that I'm

1175
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 4: still sorry about his mom, and I'm sorry that he

1176
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 4: went down this path in life, and it sounds like

1177
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:22,240
Speaker 4: he must be really miserable. But he's a bad influence

1178
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 4: in my life, so I just can't have him around.

1179
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 4: I'm sure he'll understand since he said the same about me.

1180
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 4: This was the gist of the last thing I said.

1181
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 4: He went off until I blocked him. I'm really sad

1182
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 4: about it. He really used to be a decent person

1183
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 4: back ten years ago, and his mom was a lovely woman.

1184
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 4: I'm now bracing myself against flying monkeys who may come

1185
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 4: out of the woodwork and try to guilt me into

1186
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 4: taking in his family. Can't wait to tell them to

1187
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 4: take in his family themselves. But you know what, when

1188
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 4: you're with us, we're family too. You can join us

1189
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,760
Speaker 4: live with your family every weekday at three pm PST.

1190
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 4: Just tap our profile.

1191
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 2: It's crazy that Dave will say all these things but

1192
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 2: like not take responsibilities or.

1193
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 4: Accountability or even apologize if he still hasn't apologized, like, oh,

1194
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, could we still stay with you? He just

1195
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 4: like assumed, like I saw that you were a good person,

1196
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 4: and like you're in the city and we need to say,

1197
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 4: at your place for a couple of days, and I

1198
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 4: have three kids, come on help help help help a

1199
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 4: friend out.

1200
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1201
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 4: The fact that you're like, oh, you're child free and

1202
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 4: you're a bad influence in our lives because you want

1203
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 4: to that's your life decision.

1204
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: Makes no sense.

1205
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 4: F you, Dave. I already talked about the situation with

1206
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 4: my two best friends and they both were shocked. That

1207
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,959
Speaker 4: Dave was so brazen and had no shame. They thought

1208
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 4: it was suspect that he was so pushy about getting

1209
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,799
Speaker 4: into my home and for days. One friend said that

1210
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 4: her water heater broke recently and had a plumber come

1211
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 4: out the same day. It only took a day for

1212
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 4: it to be fixed. Being against the hotel idea was

1213
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 4: a red flag to them. They are curious what the

1214
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 4: whole story is. I agree that it feels like something

1215
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 4: is missing. I do feel a righteousness about all this.

1216
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 4: I know I did the right thing. I hate that

1217
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 4: a previous kindness was used as a weapon against me.

1218
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 4: Years ago. I thought maybe he had a point that

1219
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 4: I was somehow not good enough because I was pretty depressed,

1220
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 4: like people don't want sad people around. Now, with clarity,

1221
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 4: I see that he had a profoundly bad character. But

1222
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 4: it did reopen old memories, sad memories. Anyway, Thanks for reading.

1223
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 4: If you made it all the way through, this had

1224
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 4: to get this off my chest and vent that's the

1225
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 4: end of the story.

1226
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: And not the a hole for declining this. You would

1227
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 2: have been the angel. You didn't have to do this

1228
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:16,839
Speaker 2: in the first place. You had been the angel if

1229
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,439
Speaker 2: you did right you didn't been as a sick guy.

1230
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 4: But again it just full circle. You know, Oh, you're

1231
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 4: a bad influence in our Lives're like, dude, this is

1232
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 4: what you get.

1233
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: This is what you get. Dude.

1234
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're

1235
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 3: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1236
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1237
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 2: My friend doesn't prioritize our relationship anymore, so I refuse

1238
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: to accommodate her.

1239
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 4: No friendship, no accommodation.

1240
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 2: I thirty six female, have a friend my law of

1241
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 2: five years, thirty five female. We share the same cultural

1242
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:48,280
Speaker 2: background and together with our parents, have shared many social

1243
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: activities over the years, and together with our partners, have

1244
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 2: shared many social activities over the years. Although we live

1245
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 2: on opposite sides of the city, almost an hour apart,

1246
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,359
Speaker 2: we've shared intimate details of our personal lives, and I've

1247
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 2: always appreciated her acceptance and support as a healed from

1248
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: a very difficult no contact family situation. By the way,

1249
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: this comes from honk Not on the r slash Okay

1250
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 2: storytelling subred So when I got married two years ago,

1251
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 2: she didn't hesitate to help organize the wedding and to

1252
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 2: be a witness for our marriage certification. It was the

1253
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 2: sweetest surprise to find out on our wedding night that

1254
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 2: I was pregnant. A couple of weeks later, my love

1255
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: video called me to announce the news that she too

1256
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: was pregnant.

1257
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is crazy, that's so cool. There was a

1258
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 4: lot going on, Like you guys are in sync.

1259
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 2: It was about three weeks further along to me. I

1260
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:41,280
Speaker 2: was delighted. Every week we text each other for pregnancy updates.

1261
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 2: It was so nice to go through pregnancy with a friend.

1262
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 2: Fast forward to when our babies were a few months old.

1263
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 2: We managed to meet up for brunch once, but the

1264
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 2: weekly texts that stopped. Soon. I began seeing photos on

1265
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 2: social media of her out and about frequently with two

1266
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 2: mothers from her local parents group Salinngia. I too had

1267
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 2: a parents group, but it wasn't all that socially active.

1268
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: Mala previously had mentioned that I should come over to

1269
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 2: her house for a play day and stay all day

1270
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 2: since I lived so far away, But a few weeks

1271
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: later she changed her offer to a short visit of

1272
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 2: just a couple of hours. I was disappointed, but drove

1273
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 2: the hour across town and back to see her anyways.

1274
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 2: On another occasion, Milea invited me on a group trip

1275
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 2: to the zoo last minute. When I got there, I

1276
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 2: couldn't help wondering whether she invited me because Gia dropped out.

1277
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: I got along fine with Sal. During her introductions, I

1278
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 2: mentioned my daughter's birthday and she exclaimed that her son

1279
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,080
Speaker 2: was the same. A few more months went by by,

1280
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:40,399
Speaker 2: the contact between Miley and I became sparse. Every time

1281
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,839
Speaker 2: I texted her to start a conversation, she would say

1282
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 2: she has to go do something and had to end

1283
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 2: it fairly quickly. Meanwhile, she Sal and Gia became the

1284
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 2: bestest of buds, doing just about everything together. Then Mila

1285
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 2: traveled overseas. While abroad, she kept in regular touch with

1286
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 2: Sal and Gia by text and video call. I got

1287
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 2: no messages. Our babies were around nine months old now

1288
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 2: and it was time to begin plans for first birthdays.

1289
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 2: I sent Mala the invitation to my daughter's party more

1290
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 2: than two months in advance. She informed me that she

1291
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 2: already had been invited to Sal's son's birthday party on

1292
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,359
Speaker 2: the same day at around the same time. Ask her

1293
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 2: what she wanted to do and she said she wasn't sure.

1294
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: A few minutes later, she texts to ask how big

1295
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 2: my party was going to be because sal was having

1296
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,720
Speaker 2: a big one and she'd hate to miss it. Oh. Really,

1297
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 2: dismay and her by this line of questioning, I kept

1298
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 2: cool and replied that we are having a low key

1299
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 2: event with close friends. A few hours passed, and then

1300
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 2: she replied, I know it's a stretch, but do you

1301
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 2: think you could change your party to the following day?

1302
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 2: I really want to wish my daughter a happy birthday.

1303
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:41,359
Speaker 2: The all dash.

1304
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 4: Hey, I'm sorry you want me to change my you born?

1305
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 2: For sure, I could change my daughter's birthday party day

1306
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:48,839
Speaker 2: to a different day for you.

1307
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 4: Of course, you can come the next day and be like,

1308
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,239
Speaker 4: happy birthday, here's a gift. Like that's I feel like that.

1309
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 4: She said that.

1310
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 2: Gob Smacked and further wounded, I responded with, sorry, no,

1311
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 2: you prefer to celebrate my daughter's birthday on the actual day.

1312
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1313
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 2: Now I'm reconsidering our friendship. I feel like I have

1314
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 2: been utterly disrespected by Mila and sad at the thought

1315
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 2: that motherhood has driven us apart rather than bringing us

1316
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 2: close together. I think she stopped putting effort into our

1317
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:19,320
Speaker 2: five year friendship now that she has a new local clique.

1318
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 2: So I didn't want to change our plans and been

1319
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 2: over backwards for someone who probably would not reciprocate. Am

1320
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 2: I the a hole. I think these new friends are

1321
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 2: richer and are at a higher status, and OP is

1322
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 2: not meeting that, and they're like ooh actually, and Mala's

1323
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 2: like playing the whole politics.

1324
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 4: Game losing a five year friendship because you guys are

1325
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:39,280
Speaker 4: so close.

1326
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 2: It was gonna be so fun being mothers together too.

1327
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 2: I was looking so hopeful to this. Responding to a

1328
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 2: couple of common questions, I know Mala contacted Sal and

1329
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 2: Gia while overseas because she would make cute c social

1330
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 2: posts about her baby missing his best friends and facetiming

1331
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 2: with them. Oh my gosh, oh not these kind of parents.

1332
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 2: And to those asking why responding to the way I

1333
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 2: did when Mila said there was a party clash, I

1334
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,399
Speaker 2: didn't want her to dance around the topic and make

1335
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 2: me decline the invite for her. I wanted her to

1336
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: have a spine and just say no thanks, rather than

1337
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:12,919
Speaker 2: to continue to insult me with indecision. Yeah, so here's

1338
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 2: the update. Well, it got worse before it got better.

1339
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,839
Speaker 2: Milen eventually declined my invitation, and I was okay with that.

1340
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 2: I replied that perhaps when we next talk in person,

1341
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 2: we could discuss two things. Firstly, how to deal with

1342
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 2: such a situation in the future, as this birthday clash

1343
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,320
Speaker 2: with her friend's son will happen every year. And secondly,

1344
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 2: that we should discuss how much importance she places on

1345
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 2: physical distance for friendship, because I planned to move even

1346
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 2: further across town in the next coming months. She responded

1347
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 2: simply with a sad face emoji, and later insisted on

1348
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,959
Speaker 2: catching up with me for a play day the day

1349
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 2: prior to my daughter's party, somewhere half boy between us.

1350
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 2: Venue options were swim, and we ended up on agreeing

1351
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 2: to a play center more on her side of town.

1352
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,360
Speaker 2: I pointed out that it wasn't halfway for me, and

1353
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 2: she replied that she knew and always appreciated me coming

1354
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,919
Speaker 2: out this far to see here, I see the give

1355
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 2: and take in this relationship. Just asking her to give

1356
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,359
Speaker 2: a little bit and you still have to give a lot.

1357
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 4: She literally is like, let's meet halfway. There is one

1358
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 4: at least one place in her halfway, and she said

1359
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 4: just come to the one that's.

1360
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one's twenty minutes away from me. Like they

1361
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 2: probably find a place thirty minutes away and Opie has

1362
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 2: to travel forty and she has to travel twenty.

1363
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 4: Friendship is not good.

1364
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 2: In the meantime, I was humbled to receive more RSVPs

1365
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 2: than expected and upgraded my daughter's party to a larger

1366
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 2: venue to accommodate everyone. During the lead up to the party,

1367
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,439
Speaker 2: I felt it was rather insensitive of Mala to send

1368
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 2: me an invite to a paid playground that Sao was

1369
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 2: hosting out of her home. I feel like Mila was

1370
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 2: on another planet at this point. Mila showed up to

1371
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 2: our play date with her husband. I'm pretty sure she

1372
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 2: did that to avoid the serious conversation I wanted to

1373
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 2: have about our friendship. Not wanting to immediately force her

1374
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 2: into anything she didn't want to discuss, we carried on

1375
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 2: with pleasantries for a while. In passing, she missioned that

1376
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 2: Sal's song one's birthday is actually the day after my daughters.

1377
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 2: I was very confused because Sal had told me at

1378
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: the zoo that our children shared a birthday. I didn't

1379
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: know who to believe now. Then came the ultimate insult

1380
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 2: to injury. About an hour into the play date, she

1381
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 2: looks out the window and smiles. I follow her gaze

1382
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 2: and see Sal and Gia striding up with their palms

1383
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 2: waving at us. Mila quickly said, oh, I hope you

1384
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 2: don't mind they're here. What the Oh my gosh, dude,

1385
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 2: what come on? Come on?

1386
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 4: This is supposed to be like a you and me thing,

1387
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 4: and then you invited your gal your gal group.

1388
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure your kids playing on the playground have

1389
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: been fighting over a toy, and they probably resolved their

1390
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,479
Speaker 2: issues way better than you were doing.

1391
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 4: This. My life a trill like Opie's my toy, and

1392
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 4: I got tired of this toy. I got two new

1393
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 4: toys that are much much more shinier. They have prettier things,

1394
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 4: and they're within closer reach. I want to play with

1395
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 4: those toys.

1396
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 2: I was too shocked to say anything and numbly shook

1397
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 2: my head. I wasn't going to make a scene or

1398
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 2: tell them to leave, of course, but I reasonably assumed

1399
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 2: this was an outing, specifically for the two of us,

1400
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 2: to make up for Mala not wanting to attend my

1401
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 2: daughter's party. I wanted to leave then, and there bit

1402
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 2: my tongue and stay plight, trying to take the high

1403
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 2: road and confirming I wanted to leave right then and

1404
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 2: there bit my tongue and stay plit, trying to take

1405
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 2: the high road, and confirming in my mind that this

1406
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 2: is what the final straw is. I traveled too far

1407
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 2: to walk out now I was going to get my

1408
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:26,439
Speaker 2: money's worth at this play center. Mila had already told

1409
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 2: Sao about my updated party plans, and then they both

1410
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 2: asked me many questions about the new venue. I should

1411
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 2: have taken this as the opportunity to confront them both

1412
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 2: about this mysterious of Sal's son and his actual birthday,

1413
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: and why Sao chose to not have her party on

1414
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 2: the following day, if Mala was indeed telling the truth.

1415
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, I concluded that

1416
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 2: it was a an irrelevant exercise. Besides, I was too

1417
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:55,919
Speaker 2: focused on remaining stoic to form an interrogation of my own.

1418
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 2: I drove home with my daughter and dedicated myself to

1419
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 2: getting ready for her big day, as you should, and

1420
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 2: we have a big day every day on YouTube at

1421
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 2: three pm PSD during the week. I gotta do is

1422
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 2: to have profile tap is it time to cut off?

1423
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 2: Mila cut her off?

1424
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 4: Well, I wanted to know the situation between like all

1425
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 4: the kids and how their relationship is altogether. Yeah, because

1426
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 4: I col apparently like we're growing up together. That's good

1427
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 4: to have friends, sure, but yeah, I'm done. At the

1428
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,959
Speaker 4: end of the day. You're doing what's best for now

1429
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 4: your kid.

1430
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. In opiece case, if this person is coming into

1431
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 2: a mad person, it's okay to end a five year relationships.

1432
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 4: One hundred five years may seem like a lot, but

1433
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 4: five fun years with your daughter is going to be infinite.

1434
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: The party was a great success. It was better than

1435
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 2: I could have ever imagined.

1436
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 4: Let's go.

1437
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 2: We had a delicious cake, cupcakes and finger food, unlimited drinks,

1438
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: a dedicated party host, and private room with access to

1439
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 2: all attractions in the larger venue. Everyone had a great fun,

1440
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 2: and I was glad in the end that Mila made

1441
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 2: the choices she did, revealing her true character. I plan

1442
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 2: to treat her like a distant acquaintance from now on

1443
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 2: and may eventually drop contact altogether.

1444
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 4: There you go.

1445
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 2: I will certainly not be inviting her to my daughter's

1446
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 2: birthday celebrations next year. If she complains, I will not

1447
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 2: hesitate to explain why. The party gave me an opportunity

1448
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 2: to reconnect with old friends from previous life stages who

1449
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 2: also became parents recently and were making plans to move

1450
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 2: into a larger house in a family friendly area. So

1451
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 2: the future looks promising. Thank you to everyone who commented,

1452
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it and I love your work. I

1453
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 2: think that was the best thing to do. And it's

1454
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 2: a kind to go lowcro ot tech with people no.

1455
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 4: One hundred percent and then see if she understands the

1456
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 4: situation and see what her move is. If she can't

1457
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 4: make a compromise or at least meet you halfway or

1458
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 4: even work towards like how you work, you know your

1459
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 4: end of the friendship. If she doesn't do that, you know,

1460
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 4: reciprocated no point. My boyfriend's friend accused me of cheating,

1461
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 4: but I was framed.

1462
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 2: Tricky Tricky.

1463
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 4: So this story happened nearly two years ago. However, due

1464
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 4: to the events and nature of the relationship, it still

1465
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 4: haunts me as I never got closure. I'm going to

1466
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 4: see if posting it here will help me air it

1467
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 4: out and feel a bit more at peace. We hope

1468
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 4: so too. At the time of this event, my ex

1469
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,320
Speaker 4: and I had been dating for three years and lived

1470
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 4: together very half a year at this point. By the way,

1471
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 4: this comes from user Rory Summon on the r slash

1472
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 4: Okay storytime separated. I, twenty one female at the time,

1473
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:12,919
Speaker 4: and my ex, twenty three male at the time, hung

1474
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 4: out with the same mates. For context, it was his

1475
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 4: friend group first and consisted of two males and two females,

1476
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 4: not including their partners over the years he had known them.

1477
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 4: He was very close with the guys and was just

1478
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 4: out with the girls, but didn't really care too much.

1479
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 4: The two girls I will name Kirsty and Rosie for

1480
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 4: story sake, had invited me out for a night at

1481
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 4: Rosie's new apartment in the city with her roommate and

1482
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 4: their friends.

1483
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 2: Fun.

1484
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 4: I had started to get closer and I was excited

1485
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 4: to have a night out as that was a rare

1486
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 4: occurrence for me. My ex didn't want to go, but

1487
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 4: said it was fine. I went, so the day of

1488
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 4: the night out, I traveled with Christy, Rosie, and Christie's

1489
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 4: boyfriend to Rosie's new apartment. I met the roommates and

1490
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 4: started chatting with the other people there. I met someone

1491
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 4: called Jackie, who was cool, and we get along instantly

1492
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 4: since we were quite similar the only two grungey girls there.

1493
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 4: The party starts and everything is going fine. Drinking the norm.

1494
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 4: Rosie suggested we all go to a local gate club

1495
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 4: because they had drag ax and it was one of

1496
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 4: the safest clubs to attend to in the city. This

1497
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 4: club was so cool and multiple levels that played different

1498
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:13,080
Speaker 4: styles of music from hip hop to emo, house, et cetera.

1499
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 4: At that point, I was at my happy stage of

1500
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 4: wasted it didn't want to push it, so I started

1501
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 4: drinking a coke with a single rum to keep at

1502
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 4: the same level. Rosie had mentioned earlier that the second

1503
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 4: floor played emao music, so we originally all headed there

1504
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 4: into the balcony area. For the remainder of the night,

1505
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 4: I'd stayed on this balcony and not moved. I chatted

1506
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 4: with randoms as wasted people do, and hung out with Jackie. Rosie,

1507
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 4: Christy and the others were quite wasted and kept moving

1508
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 4: around the entire venue. I stayed put. You know your emo.

1509
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 4: You want to be in that emo phase. It's not

1510
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 4: a phase, mom, oh, not a phase. I nearly forgot

1511
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 4: about the cherry on top from that night. At one

1512
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 4: point in the night, the girls came up to me

1513
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 4: and told me that, because they knew how rocky my

1514
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 4: relationship was, if I were to have a one night stand,

1515
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 4: they would cover for me. I brush it off as

1516
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:54,960
Speaker 4: a joke and continued my night. Now, let me pull

1517
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 4: back a bit from the story for some context into

1518
01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 4: my relationship. My ex and I were getting rocky, and

1519
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,000
Speaker 4: we had moved in together, and since we did, we

1520
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,360
Speaker 4: began arguing a lot, and he had started to show

1521
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 4: his true colors. To be honest, there is a long

1522
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 4: list I can make of the things he stopped slash

1523
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 4: started doing. But to keep it simple, he became controlling, selfish,

1524
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,959
Speaker 4: expected me to do all the cooking slash cleaning because

1525
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 4: he worked more, even though I did twelve hour bartending shifts.

1526
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 4: And he was scared of touching meat and hated when

1527
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 4: I became friends with anyone or hang out with them

1528
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:27,080
Speaker 4: too long because I was and he would think something

1529
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,919
Speaker 4: might happen again. I could go on, but I'm going

1530
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 4: to stop before I tangent on. Back to the story,

1531
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:34,880
Speaker 4: Jackie admitted they liked me and wanted to kiss me.

1532
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 4: Whoa to be honest, do to my mind. At the time,

1533
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 4: I was tempted, but I said to them I was flattered,

1534
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 4: but I can't as I'm in a relationship which they respected.

1535
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 4: W's all around them, all right. We continued the night

1536
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,600
Speaker 4: until Christy came back again and we started to head

1537
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 4: back to the apartment to end the night, which was

1538
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 4: a struggle in itself, as Christy was wasted and she

1539
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 4: was crying and her boyfriend was being a child running

1540
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 4: off into the unknown city, making me need to run

1541
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 4: after him in my heels to pull him back. I

1542
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:02,680
Speaker 4: hate being practically sober around emotional, wasted people. I think

1543
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 4: everyone hates that oh yeah, yeah you, oh yeah yeah,

1544
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,240
Speaker 4: especially due, especially you. So that was the end fun night.

1545
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 4: Next day we go home. Two weeks later, in the

1546
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:13,479
Speaker 4: middle of one of my twelve hour ships, my ex

1547
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 4: and his mates were at the pub around the corner,

1548
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 4: so on my break I went to say hello. The

1549
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 4: girls were there, I said hi, and nothing else to

1550
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 4: make of it. Six hours later, I'm heading home, which

1551
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 4: was only two minutes away, and I call my ex

1552
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 4: as I've watched enough true crime to know anything can

1553
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 4: happen in two minutes. As I call him, I hear

1554
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 4: he's out of breath. I ask where he is and

1555
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 4: he says he was just on a walk with his dog,

1556
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 4: which was strange as it was like two to three am.

1557
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 4: He said we'd be back in twenty minutes. I didn't

1558
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 4: think much of it. He comes back and asked me

1559
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 4: to sit down. He then tells me that Christy and

1560
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,760
Speaker 4: Rosie accused me of cheating with Jackie.

1561
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:44,919
Speaker 2: So they're framing you.

1562
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 4: They're framing you.

1563
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 2: Ooh for what benefit? And I know this isn't gonna

1564
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 2: go well because of how their relationship is.

1565
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 4: It's already rocky, it's already toxic. Their reasoning. They didn't

1566
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 4: know where I was at some points of the night.

1567
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 4: Let's remember I stayed put in one public spot and

1568
01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 4: they were all over the place. I told him that

1569
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:02,080
Speaker 4: I didn't, but Jackie did hit on me, which I

1570
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:04,040
Speaker 4: turned down. He asked me if I had been talking

1571
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 4: to them. I had added them on Insta, but I

1572
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 4: changed only a couple messages, all innocent. I showed my

1573
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:12,920
Speaker 4: phone immediately. He still didn't believe me at first. At

1574
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,439
Speaker 4: this point, I'm bawling my eyes out because how could

1575
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 4: they do this? Why would they make this lie? To

1576
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 4: add to my upset. He wasn't walking his dog. He

1577
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 4: had gone to his mom's and told her that I

1578
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 4: cheated before talking to me. Christy and Rosie had no

1579
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 4: proof other than wasted speculation. Oh yikes, just omit yourself

1580
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,680
Speaker 4: from this entire group of people. Hang out with Jackie.

1581
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 4: Now you can go kiss Jackie. I am furious and

1582
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 4: again confused, slash upset. The conclusion of this conversation was

1583
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 4: that I had lost his trust and I would have

1584
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 4: to gain it back. He said he believed me, but

1585
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 4: I still shouldn't have added Jackie on Insta. I asked

1586
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:48,360
Speaker 4: him if he was going to stop hanging out with

1587
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 4: Christy and Rosie for now due to them trying to

1588
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:53,960
Speaker 4: ruin this relationship, and instead he said, no, I'm glad

1589
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 4: they told me about this.

1590
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:58,320
Speaker 2: Oh man, he's been looking for an excuse, me looking

1591
01:06:58,360 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 2: for excuse.

1592
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:00,920
Speaker 4: I think these two girls like just one of the

1593
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 4: ADSM drama.

1594
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:02,919
Speaker 2: Oh yes, during the plot, dude.

1595
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:05,680
Speaker 4: From then on, my depression started to decline further. I

1596
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 4: didn't have many people I could trust and was very

1597
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 4: alone as all my friends and family lived far away.

1598
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 4: He continued to be friends and hang out with them,

1599
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 4: But you know what you can hang out with us

1600
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 4: every weekday Live three PMPSD. Just tap our profile.

1601
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 2: Boom boom boom, hang out with us.

1602
01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 4: Like you already knew your relationship was toxic and on

1603
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 4: the rocks, and like you're like, I'm just gonna have

1604
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 4: fun with the girls night or what have you. And

1605
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 4: then this is what happens.

1606
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 2: This is a tough spot you're in.

1607
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 4: I never got closure. The girls ignored me and blocked

1608
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 4: me when I asked why they would do something like this,

1609
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 4: and I was stuck in a very unhappy relationship for

1610
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 4: the next six to eight months. So wrap this up.

1611
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 4: I'm obviously no longer with him. I broke up with him,

1612
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:42,960
Speaker 4: which is another story in itself, and now I'm with

1613
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 4: the man, not a boy.

1614
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:46,800
Speaker 2: There we go, b mag bang.

1615
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 4: My partner is so caring, sweet and puts me first.

1616
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 4: Our relationship is full of communication and just calm. I'm

1617
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:55,880
Speaker 4: extremely happier now. However, a lot from that X will

1618
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 4: forever hot me. Hope you enjoyed this long a story.

1619
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 2: Dikes, Glad you're out of that. That sometimes you need

1620
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 2: to be put through hard things to get put into

1621
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 2: a nicer thing. Sucks that you have to walk down

1622
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:07,520
Speaker 2: that path.

1623
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,400
Speaker 4: But sometimes you just have to go through that to

1624
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 4: know yourself and figure yourself out and know what you

1625
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:13,680
Speaker 4: need and deserve. Yeah, so that would.

1626
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,240
Speaker 2: It so weird what those girl's intentions were. They were

1627
01:08:16,280 --> 01:08:17,800
Speaker 2: just like bombshell walk away.

1628
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 4: I want to know if one of them started dating

1629
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:20,440
Speaker 4: one of the os.

1630
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:22,280
Speaker 2: X oh maybe because they.

1631
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 4: Were all in like that tight knit group.

1632
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, just really weird. Why you would mess up people's

1633
01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:27,240
Speaker 2: like lives like that.

1634
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 4: What I don't like is the guy went straight to

1635
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 4: his mom.

1636
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:32,240
Speaker 2: And then confront her first, Yeah, and get all the facts.

1637
01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:34,200
Speaker 4: He was like, Mom, guess what happened. But I didn't.

1638
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:35,640
Speaker 4: I didn't talk to her about it. I just guess what.

1639
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 2: I don't blame him. Sometimes you need someone to talk

1640
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 2: to about it. And I don't want to walk and

1641
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 2: like kind of calm you down. If you're overwhelmed with

1642
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,120
Speaker 2: emotions at.

1643
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 4: Two am, three am in the morning.

1644
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:47,000
Speaker 2: Hey dude, some stuff is pretty big.

1645
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,840
Speaker 4: If it's on your mind and you can't you can't

1646
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 4: sleep a night, I guess, but that's still confront the person,

1647
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 4: especially if you don't have the facts. Even though my

1648
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,799
Speaker 4: friends were like, dude, so and so cheated on you, Okay,

1649
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,160
Speaker 4: how when I.

1650
01:08:57,120 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 2: Need to know any more evidence?

1651
01:08:58,280 --> 01:08:59,840
Speaker 4: And we went with her, but she was like, not

1652
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:01,640
Speaker 4: with us, and she was hanging out with one another a

1653
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 4: friend and being friendly.

1654
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 2: What the heck?

1655
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 4: So she cheated on you?

1656
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: What?

1657
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 4: Okay, but that's the end of that story. Guys,