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Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't

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Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. If we don't know

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Speaker 1: something about ourselves at this point in our life, it's

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Speaker 1: probably because it's uncomfortable to know. If you can die

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Speaker 1: before you die, then you can really live. There's a

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Speaker 1: wisdom at death's door. I thought I was insane. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do because there was

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Speaker 1: no internet. I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel

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Speaker 1: like everything is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is Kat.

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Speaker 1: I'm a human first and a licensed therapist second. And

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Speaker 1: right now I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope

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Speaker 1: encourage you to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others,

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Speaker 1: and the world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. Hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: cat here and you're listening to a new episode, new

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Speaker 1: Monday episode of You Need Therapy podcast. Before we get

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Speaker 1: into it, want to remind everybody that although this podcast

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Speaker 1: is hosted by a therapist and it's called You Need Therapy,

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Speaker 1: it does not serve as a replacement or substitute for

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Speaker 1: mental health services. But it's allowed to help you along

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Speaker 1: your journey. So today is a special day, really is

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Speaker 1: a special week because I'm going to New York City

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Speaker 1: this week at the end of the week with my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend Patrick. And we randomly booked this trip a couple

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Speaker 1: of months ago because I think I was getting a

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Speaker 1: little bit sad. I'm seven on the Instagram and so

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Speaker 1: I really thrive on a full calendar, and I was

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Speaker 1: getting a little sad towards the end of the holidays.

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Speaker 1: I think thinking, dang it, We've just had all this

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Speaker 1: exciting stuff and now there's nothing on the calendar. So

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Speaker 1: let's put something on the calendar. And we just literally

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Speaker 1: were like, well, where do we want to go? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. We could go all these places where our

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Speaker 1: flights cheap and got some cheap flights, booked a hotel,

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Speaker 1: and it's happening. So I'm excited. I cannot wait. I

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Speaker 1: love New York City. Never ever what I ever want

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Speaker 1: to live there, but I could be there for an

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Speaker 1: extended period of time, and I love to visit. I

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Speaker 1: really love to visit during the holiday season. But that's okay,

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Speaker 1: we can. We'll go back next December. So that's happening.

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Speaker 1: And then, you know, I like to keep you guys

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Speaker 1: updated on my Harry Potter journey. For those of you

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Speaker 1: who are new or are not regular listeners of the show,

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Speaker 1: I recently watched all of the Harry Potter movies for

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Speaker 1: the first time. Now I'm going back and listening to

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Speaker 1: all the books and oh, my gosh, I just finished

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Speaker 1: the third one. I started the fourth one, and wow,

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Speaker 1: the third one. Okay, first one through three we're no

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Speaker 1: more than nine hours. The fourth one is about twenty

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Speaker 1: hours of listening. Gosh. I can't imagine being in like

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Speaker 1: sixth grade and reading that book. It's a lot, but

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Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it. Love the third book my favorite so far.

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Speaker 1: I think so hard and then they all start to

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Speaker 1: run together. But I'm on it. I am continuing my journey.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully it will lead me to Harry Potter World in Florida,

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Speaker 1: so fingers crossed for that happening. Sadly, Patrick shot down

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Speaker 1: my desire to go to the Harry Potter store in

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Speaker 1: New York City. I was putting it on our tenorary

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Speaker 1: and he kept being like, oh, what are we doing there?

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Speaker 1: Why are we going to that? And then he very

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Speaker 1: clearly but not clearly. It wasn't very clear. I picked

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Speaker 1: up what he was putting down, let me know that

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Speaker 1: that was not something that was important to him. Then

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Speaker 1: I did some more research about the store, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know that it's not important to me either, but hey,

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Speaker 1: maybe we'll change our minds. If you've been let me know.

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Speaker 1: It just seemed like it was like a gift shop

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Speaker 1: with like a virtual reality thing that you can do,

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Speaker 1: and there's longlines and stuff. So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I want to waste like four hours of my day,

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Speaker 1: you know, But anyway, that's not important. What's important is

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Speaker 1: what we are talking about today. And I decided it

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Speaker 1: was time to talk about for a whole episode something

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Speaker 1: that comes up a lot during my work day as

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Speaker 1: a therapist, meaning a lot of clients are talking about

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Speaker 1: this in one way or the other, and it is

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Speaker 1: motivation and really more specifically the lack of motivation. So

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Speaker 1: very often people come into my office to make some

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Speaker 1: kind of change in my life. That's not news to anybody.

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Speaker 1: There is, of the time, something that somebody wants to

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Speaker 1: be different in their life when they come into therapy,

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Speaker 1: when they come into my office and I meet them

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Speaker 1: and we talk why are you here? And we know

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Speaker 1: that for things to be different, we have to do

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Speaker 1: something different. And we also know, and if you don't know,

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Speaker 1: now you're about to know that the definition of insanity

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Speaker 1: is doing the same thing over and over and over

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Speaker 1: again expecting a different result. So, since we're not trying

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Speaker 1: to become insane by coming to therapy, we are wanting

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Speaker 1: something different, means that we have to do something different. So,

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Speaker 1: since we are not trying to become insane by going

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Speaker 1: to therapy, wanting something different means that we are going

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Speaker 1: to have to do something different. And this is when

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Speaker 1: this back and worth happens. When clients make a plan

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Speaker 1: to try to do something or put some action steps

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Speaker 1: in place to reach some goal, and week after week

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Speaker 1: they come back in and they come to my office

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Speaker 1: and they're like, I didn't do the thing. I didn't

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Speaker 1: do the thing. I didn't do the thing. And it

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Speaker 1: becomes this revolving door, like we make a plan, you go,

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Speaker 1: you don't do it. You come back, we make a

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Speaker 1: plan again, you don't do it. And this whole cycle

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Speaker 1: can sound different for different people. Sometimes when they come

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Speaker 1: back and they say I didn't do it, their excuses

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it's I just can't. Sometimes they just avoid the

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Speaker 1: fact that they didn't do it by bringing up another topic,

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Speaker 1: but you end up doing this song and dance where

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Speaker 1: the goal really isn't being met. And what can happen

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Speaker 1: is we can label the issue with this goal not

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Speaker 1: being met with a lack of motivation to do something.

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Speaker 1: And I want to talk about this today because I

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Speaker 1: think there's a way. I believe there's a way that

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Speaker 1: we can reframe this idea of I just have a

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Speaker 1: lack of motivation to change or act or move in

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Speaker 1: a way that can become more helpful. We can reframe

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Speaker 1: how we're looking at motivation so we can find more

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Speaker 1: of a motivation and it could be a more motivating

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Speaker 1: way of looking at things. So I really like the

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Speaker 1: saying that says, whatever you choose, you're making a choice

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Speaker 1: either way. I think there's a million ways that that

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Speaker 1: is said. But whatever choice you're making, if you're saying

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do something, or you do something,

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Speaker 1: you're making a choice either way. And I really like

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Speaker 1: this because for me it offers so much power, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm making a choice, and my end quotes inability to

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Speaker 1: make a choice is actually me making a choice. It's

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Speaker 1: not an inability at all, it's very empowering to me.

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Speaker 1: It tells you that you are doing something, you are

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Speaker 1: capable of doing something. You just might be doing the

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Speaker 1: thing you don't want to do. And the thing about

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Speaker 1: motivation is depending on how you view and how you

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Speaker 1: define it. To find it, sometimes you have to realize

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Speaker 1: that it's not really motivation that you're you're looking for

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Speaker 1: and that you need, which is why I want to

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Speaker 1: reframe this today. So when you look up the definition

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Speaker 1: of motivation, you'll find two different kind of answers. One

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Speaker 1: talks about the desire or willingness to do something, and

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Speaker 1: then the other one is and explanation or reason for

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Speaker 1: why we did or didn't do something right. So a

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Speaker 1: reason my motivation for going to the park was get

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Speaker 1: to get fresh air. My motivation for starting this podcast

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Speaker 1: was to help people. My motivation for making coffee is

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Speaker 1: to get more energy, Like there's a reason that I'm

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Speaker 1: doing these things. And I think when we think and

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Speaker 1: we talk about the lack of motivation that we're frustrated with,

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Speaker 1: when we are saying like, oh, I just like I

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Speaker 1: can't get motivated, or I can't find motivation, or I

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Speaker 1: can't whatever I can't do the thing. I don't think

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Speaker 1: we're talking about a lack of a reason for our goal.

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Speaker 1: I don't hear as often people say I don't have

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Speaker 1: motivation to do this because I don't see why that

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Speaker 1: would be good for me. It's usually more something like

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Speaker 1: I want to do this thing, but I can't get

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Speaker 1: my body to do this thing because that thing takes

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Speaker 1: effort and energy, and they might not want to spend

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Speaker 1: time and energy on that thing. So we label as

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Speaker 1: that I don't have motivation or I can't find motivation,

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Speaker 1: and then we become victims, we become helpless. It's not

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Speaker 1: my fault. There's nothing that I can do. I can't

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Speaker 1: find the desire to do this, so I can't do it. Now.

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Speaker 1: This would be fine if we only needed to do

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Speaker 1: things that we in quotes wanted to do, which if

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Speaker 1: you're somebody who's like, yeah, totally, I that's how I am.

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Speaker 1: We're adults. No one can tell me what to do,

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Speaker 1: and being an adult means I get to make all

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Speaker 1: the rules. Then you're probably not going to love this

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Speaker 1: idea and reframe that I have because I think the

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Speaker 1: dream as a kid was that when you're adult, you

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Speaker 1: grow up and you get to just do the things

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Speaker 1: you want to do, and you don't have to do

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Speaker 1: the things you don't want to do. Like I think

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Speaker 1: about being a kid and my mom telling me that

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Speaker 1: I need to make my my bed, or clean my room,

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Speaker 1: or or just clean anything for that matter, or be

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Speaker 1: home at this time, it's like, I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: be an adult and I'm never going to clean my room.

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Speaker 1: But then you get to be an adult and you're like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I really wish that my mom was

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Speaker 1: here and making me me clean my room because that's

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Speaker 1: why I cleaned my room, And now I don't want

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Speaker 1: to clean my room. So being an adult doesn't really

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Speaker 1: mean you only have to do the things you want

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Speaker 1: to do. You could do that, I don't know that

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Speaker 1: your life would be really looking the way you really

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Speaker 1: wanted to look. It really means you are now in

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Speaker 1: charge of finding ways to make sure you get those

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Speaker 1: things done that aren't very fun because they still have

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Speaker 1: to be done, and you might not like the task,

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Speaker 1: but the outcome of that task might be important to you.

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Speaker 1: I had a client years ago who talked about a

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Speaker 1: lot of work struggles with me, and she had a

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Speaker 1: good job and she didn't necessarily hate her job. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it was her dream job. But she would

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Speaker 1: often talk about this inability to get certain tasks done

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Speaker 1: when she knew she was capable of doing them, like

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Speaker 1: more than capable of doing them. And one day she

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Speaker 1: came in my office and sat down and was like,

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Speaker 1: I figured it out. I was like, why didn't you

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Speaker 1: figure out? Tell me more? She said, I figured out

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Speaker 1: why it's so hard for me to do these things

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Speaker 1: that really aren't that hard. And I said, okay, what

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Speaker 1: did you figure out? And she said, I don't like

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Speaker 1: doing them. I do not like doing them. I don't

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Speaker 1: enjoy it. So that's why I put them off and

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Speaker 1: I don't do them. I don't remember exactly what I replied,

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Speaker 1: but I said something along the lines of like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, wow, Like that's such a great revelation. Now,

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Speaker 1: I guess we got to look for something else, right,

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Speaker 1: like what is where does that lead you to? And

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Speaker 1: this was a long time ago, so give me some

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Speaker 1: grace here, because I would not respond in this kind

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Speaker 1: of way today. But she was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: get into a different job, Like that's what this. I

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Speaker 1: just have to get a different job and I was

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Speaker 1: telling my supervisor about this later, and he just looked

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Speaker 1: at me and was like, we will not be encouraging

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Speaker 1: people to only do the things that they find pleasurable. Catherine,

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Speaker 1: that's not how life works. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like now, because she knows this, she can just

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Speaker 1: go find a job and she can do things that

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Speaker 1: she likes to do in this job. And he was like, well,

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Speaker 1: what happens when the next job involves a part that

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Speaker 1: she doesn't enjoy doing. Jobs that come with zero parts

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Speaker 1: that employees don't find pleasurable are extremely rare slash, I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if they exist. And that's true. Like

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Speaker 1: I love my job, but there are parts of my

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Speaker 1: job I do not like doing, but I do have

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Speaker 1: to do them still, And it doesn't mean that I

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Speaker 1: need to get a new job because I don't like

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Speaker 1: these tasks that I have to do, which feels very

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Speaker 1: elementary to say, but I think it's important to say

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Speaker 1: at the same time, because we look at things and

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Speaker 1: we're like, I don't like doing that, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do it. I don't have to, and I don't

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Speaker 1: have an eloquent way to say it. But that's not

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Speaker 1: how life works. If we want certain things out of

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Speaker 1: our life, we cannot just do things that feel good

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Speaker 1: all the time, even though we have the ability to

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Speaker 1: make that choice. In my life, there are a million

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Speaker 1: things that I need to do in order to live

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Speaker 1: the life that I want to live that I will

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Speaker 1: never want to do. For example, I will never be

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Speaker 1: super excited about doing the dishes. It is just something

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Speaker 1: that generally I do not find joy in. I will

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Speaker 1: never find joy in it. I also hate doing the laundry.

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Speaker 1: The moment where I hear like the ding ding ding

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Speaker 1: on the washer that signals me that it's sounded about

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Speaker 1: myself in the dryer. I dread that moment because then

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to go separate

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Speaker 1: my clothes, hang all my leggings, do this do that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it. But the thing is I do

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Speaker 1: wash my dishes and I do do my laundry. And

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Speaker 1: the reason that I am able to find motivation to

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Speaker 1: complete these things is not really because I found motivation

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Speaker 1: this like desire to engage in this task. It's because

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Speaker 1: I identify that these things are important to me. I

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Speaker 1: don't want ants all in my kitchen. I don't want

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Speaker 1: my sink to smell bad figured about ants. I don't

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Speaker 1: want bigger bugs and my kids, I just I don't.

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Speaker 1: I want to feel clean in my space, and I

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Speaker 1: also want to wear clean clothes. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: smell bad. I want to take care of the things

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Speaker 1: that I buy. So I don't want to clean my

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Speaker 1: clothes and I don't want to clean my dishes. But

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Speaker 1: there are other things that are important to me, and

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Speaker 1: so I do the task. My motivation comes from deciding

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Speaker 1: or identifying that something is or isn't important to me.

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Speaker 1: If it's important enough, chances are you're going to find

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Speaker 1: a way to do it, or at least find a

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Speaker 1: way to attempt to do it to start. And if

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Speaker 1: it's not, you will maybe do it, maybe you'll still

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Speaker 1: do it, but most likely you're going to find an

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Speaker 1: excuse as to why you can't, and you'll become that

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Speaker 1: hopeless victim. Now I could stop here and be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's my reframe, but I also know that we need

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Speaker 1: more than information, and we need more than knowledge. We

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Speaker 1: need ways in which we can apply that so then

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Speaker 1: we can apply the information in the in the knowledge,

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Speaker 1: so we can make some changes, changes that are going

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Speaker 1: to feel really good to us. And so how can

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Speaker 1: I go from feeling like I lack motivation to do

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Speaker 1: the things that I seemingly want or need to do

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Speaker 1: to doing them. Now we already started to talk about

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Speaker 1: the shifts in the thinking how we talk about it

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Speaker 1: is this important to me versus do I have this

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Speaker 1: like excitement to go do it? So instead of I

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Speaker 1: can't seem to find the motivation, we have to say

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Speaker 1: things like I can't seem to decide if this is

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Speaker 1: important to me or not. If it's not important to you,

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Speaker 1: then okay, I get it. Let's move on to something

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Speaker 1: else and work on something that's important to you. But again, rarely,

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Speaker 1: rarely are people talking to me about not being able

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Speaker 1: to do things that sound like things that aren't important

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Speaker 1: to them. For one reason or another, these things are

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Speaker 1: important to them. So let's talk about ways to apply this.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna make it really easy. We're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a list because people love lists, So let's start with

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Speaker 1: number one. The first thing we gotta do is focus

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Speaker 1: on what it is that you want. Let's look at

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Speaker 1: the goal of the task versus the actual task and

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Speaker 1: what this is doing. This is actually letting you look

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Speaker 1: more at what you want and what you're going to

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Speaker 1: get out of doing this task than just focusing on

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Speaker 1: like a chore that you don't really want to do. So,

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Speaker 1: if I can't find motivation to let's say get up

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Speaker 1: in the morning and go for a walk before work. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: that task of walking might sound really dreadful to you,

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Speaker 1: kind of like the task of me separating my clothes

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Speaker 1: out of the washer and putting them in the dryer.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. But what is the goal?

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Speaker 1: So why are we actually setting up this task or chore?

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Speaker 1: What's the goal? What's behind that? What is the goal

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Speaker 1: of a walk? Is it something more than just going

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Speaker 1: on a walk? Is the goal of the walk to

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Speaker 1: feel more energized? Is it to take care of your health? Like?

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Speaker 1: What is that goal? Let's put that goal in the

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Speaker 1: forefront rather than the walk. Maybe you can't find motivation

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Speaker 1: to fill out job applications. I totally get that. You

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Speaker 1: keep saying I'm gonna do it tomorrow, I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: with that, and then you just like scroll on your computer. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: the task of filling out a job application sounds also dreadful,

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Speaker 1: But is the goal of filling out the application to

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Speaker 1: fill out the application? Or is the goal to get

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Speaker 1: a new job? Is the goal to feel happier in

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Speaker 1: my career? Is the goal to I mean, think about

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Speaker 1: what the goal could be, and then we focused on

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Speaker 1: that instead of this chore that again and so great.

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Speaker 1: So one, focus on what you want. Two after you

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Speaker 1: focus on what you want, really get serious and decide

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Speaker 1: what is important to you? Does that goal matter to you?

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Speaker 1: And it's very important, it needs to matter. Is your

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Speaker 1: physical health important to you if that's the goal of walking?

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Speaker 1: Is having a job important to you if that's the

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Speaker 1: goal filling out the job application. Is having a clean

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Speaker 1: kitchen without bugs roaming around important to you if that's

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Speaker 1: the goal of doing your dishes. So at this point

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Speaker 1: we can move from a space of wanting to feel

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Speaker 1: energetically excited to do a task in a space where

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Speaker 1: you can say, I value this, so I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do this. And because those two things they don't sound

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Speaker 1: like that big of a deal, but they can be exhausting.

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Speaker 1: You'll need some help keeping the momentum going a bit.

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Speaker 1: So I told you I'm giving you a list. We

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Speaker 1: have one, we have two, Now we have three. After

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Speaker 1: we do that, we need to look at how we

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Speaker 1: can reward ourselves in a way that builds on the

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Speaker 1: work that we're doing instead of against it. And that's

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Speaker 1: something I see over and over and over. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I did this, so I gave myself this reward, and

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Speaker 1: the reward literally like undid whatever task it was that

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Speaker 1: you did. It's like, oh, I cleaned the kitchen, so

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Speaker 1: I baked a cake. Like okay, that's awesome, you clean

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Speaker 1: the kitchen, but then you've just made a lot of dishes.

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Speaker 1: And that's just a silly example, but it kind of

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Speaker 1: describes what I'm talking about. We just have to make

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Speaker 1: sure that the rewards were giving ourselves don't undermine our goals.

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Speaker 1: Don't then send a message that like, you just did

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Speaker 1: that thing, but you're going rewards yourself in this way,

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Speaker 1: which means that you actually like this and you don't

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Speaker 1: like doing the task, so I like making a mess

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Speaker 1: versus cleaning and doing the dishes and having this clean kitchen.

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Speaker 1: Another way to look at that is if my reward

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Speaker 1: for doing the dishes every night for a week is

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Speaker 1: to say the next week, I don't have to do it.

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Speaker 1: You're reversing the momentum that you built, it works against you.

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Speaker 1: And something that's really important to tell anybody who will

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Speaker 1: listen is that a lot of achievement comes from people

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Speaker 1: finding ways to make the things they want to achieve

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Speaker 1: the easiest they can be. Achievement doesn't just come from

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Speaker 1: being strong and having willpower and just like doing it anyway.

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Speaker 1: People might say that, but when it comes down to it,

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Speaker 1: you have to find ways that make this the easiest.

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Speaker 1: So reframing it like I've been talking about, makes it

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Speaker 1: easier doing something like this, like saying, oh, let's do

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Speaker 1: the dishes for a week, and then don't do them,

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Speaker 1: and they to be talking about the dishes so much

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Speaker 1: in this episode, But that makes it really easy for

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Speaker 1: you to fall back into an old habit. And it's

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Speaker 1: just very very tempting, an old habit of not doing

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Speaker 1: it and not carrying again since the message that this

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Speaker 1: isn't that this isn't that important to you. So another example,

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Speaker 1: So I really wanted to work on wearing normal clothes

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Speaker 1: to work every day this year. There's nothing wrong with it,

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Speaker 1: but I oftentimes would wear leggings and a sweatshirt and

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Speaker 1: tennis shoes to work and that it is totally fine.

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Speaker 1: But I started realizing, like, hey, I really like getting dressed,

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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of clothes in my closet that

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Speaker 1: I want to be wearing. But I just have gotten

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Speaker 1: in this habit of putting the easiest thing on going

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Speaker 1: out the door and and not thinking anything of it.

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Speaker 1: I really want to put more effort into getting ready

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Speaker 1: for work in the mornings, and so I am wearing

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Speaker 1: jeans a lot more often than I used to wear jeans.

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Speaker 1: I would not be doing myself any favors if I

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Speaker 1: put all of my leggings in the same drawer as

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Speaker 1: all of my jeans, right because I opened the drawer

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Speaker 1: and I'd say, hmmm, those leggings sure do look cozy,

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Speaker 1: and oh, I can just put that sweatshirt on it,

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Speaker 1: and I can get out the door and I can

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Speaker 1: be ready faster and x y Z. That would be

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Speaker 1: making my goal harder for me. Why do I need

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Speaker 1: to do that. We do not need to impress people

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Speaker 1: by how much temptation we can resist. I don't know

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Speaker 1: anybody who sits around and talks about how much willpower

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Speaker 1: somebody has and really really cares that much, And it

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Speaker 1: really makes that much impact on their life, Like people

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Speaker 1: generally don't care about how much willpower somebody else has,

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Speaker 1: so you don't need to really prove anything to anybody else.

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Speaker 1: So if it makes it easier for you to wear jeans,

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Speaker 1: to put your leggings underneath your bed in a box,

410
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Speaker 1: guess what, that's what I do. And if I need

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Speaker 1: to work out, I will get the box out and

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Speaker 1: I put the leggings on and I head out the door.

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Speaker 1: But I don't have to have that conversation. Do I

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Speaker 1: wear a leggings sory wear jeanes? Do I wear a

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Speaker 1: leggings wear jeans as I'm getting ready in the morning?

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Speaker 1: So oh again. Number three, find rewards for yourself that

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Speaker 1: build on your work instead of against it. I'm just

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Speaker 1: this just came to my head. But I gave examples

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Speaker 1: of what not to do. But with the dishes, Like

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Speaker 1: instead of saying, okay, after a week you cannot clean

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Speaker 1: the dishes for a week, you can take a week off. Well,

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Speaker 1: what if after I did it for a week, you

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Speaker 1: can go get that fancy scrub or brush thing that

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Speaker 1: you've been looking at at target, Like, find something that

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Speaker 1: makes that thing better for you or more exciting in

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Speaker 1: some way. And then number four pay attention to losses

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Speaker 1: and not just gains. So I know this one sounds

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Speaker 1: a little bit weird, like why should we pay attention

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Speaker 1: to these negative things, But it's because loss of version

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Speaker 1: is a thing, and sometimes looking at what you lose

431
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: works better than looking at what you gain, and it

432
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: makes sense. Think about how I talk about the fear

433
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: of the unknown a lot. Even though we want something

434
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 1: different than what we have now, we sometimes say to ourselves,

435
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: it's not worth the risk of losing this thing that

436
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: I have right now. It's not ideal, but I know

437
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: I can survive it to gain that thing that isn't

438
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 1: really guaranteed. There was a study done in two thousand

439
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,879
Speaker 1: and sixteen where scientists from the University of Pennsylvania asked

440
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 1: people to walk seven thousand steps a day for six months,

441
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: and some of the people that participated in this were

442
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,439
Speaker 1: paid a dollar forty cents, which is a random amount

443
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: of money, each day that they achieved their goal, and

444
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 1: then other people that participated lost a dollar forty if

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00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: they failed to do the goal. So if they didn't

446
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 1: do it, they got a dollar forty taken away, and

447
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: then another group if they did do it, they got

448
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: a dollar forty and the group that had the dollar

449
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 1: forty taken away hit their daily target more often, which

450
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: is a large amount. And it makes me think of

451
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: how a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to

452
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: motivate myself to cook dinner at home and use the

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00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,959
Speaker 1: groceries that I kept buying at the grocery store and

454
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 1: save money and saving money like this this idea in

455
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: my head of saving money, Oh, this is better and

456
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: it'll be fun. Like none of that wasn't motivating to

457
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 1: me because I don't really like to cook dinner, and

458
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: again it goes into my I don't like to do

459
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: the dishes. So I really struggled to find motivation to

460
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: stick with that goal. And so one of the things

461
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:30,199
Speaker 1: I did is one talk to myself about whether this

462
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 1: was really important to me, Like, really, why am I

463
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 1: setting this goal up? Does this matter? Do I care

464
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: if I'm if I'm saving money, do I care if

465
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: I'm bending more time cooking my own food? Do I

466
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 1: really care? Why is it important to me? And then

467
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 1: I set up a challenge with one of my friends

468
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 1: where if I ate out that week, like during the

469
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: work week, like Monday, through I did Monday through Thursday.

470
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 1: If I ate out after I bought groceries to cook

471
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 1: those meals for I would have to paint my friends ceiling.

472
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: Which painting the ceiling, I don't even know how people

473
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: do that. And she did it with me too. I

474
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: think hers was if she did it, she would have

475
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: to clean my bathroom, and I was like, I'm not

476
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: going to clean it until this challenge is over, so'll

477
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 1: be nice and dirty. And the thing is we both

478
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: did it because I did not want to paint my

479
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 1: friend's ceiling. She did not want to clean my bathroom.

480
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: And so I didn't just look at what I would

481
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 1: gain from cooking at home save money x y Z.

482
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: I looked at what it would cost me if I

483
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 1: didn't do that goal. And I think that's really helpful,

484
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 1: and I think it's something that can, like I said,

485
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: help build momentum after we have that initial motivation boost

486
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: when we identify something's important to us or not. So

487
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: those are my four ways to actually apply this knowledge

488
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: of what motivation really might be and what we really

489
00:24:56,080 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 1: need to feel motivated. So, like I said before, it's

490
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: really not about finding it, it's about shifting the way

491
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: we view it and then setting ourselves up for success,

492
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 1: which sounds like I'm giving some kind of like business talk,

493
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: but I mean list in all aspects of our life.

494
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: You don't have to want to do something right. It

495
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: has to be important to you, and you have to

496
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: have some accountability, and you need ways to remove all

497
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 1: of the temptation that we so often want to put

498
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: right in front of our faces. So find ways to

499
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: identify that what it is that you want to be doing,

500
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: find ways to make it valuable, and to understand what

501
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: the value is that those things are going to give you.

502
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: I hope this was helpful and if you have any questions,

503
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: as always, you can email me Catherine at you Need

504
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: Therapy podcast dot com. You can follow me at cat

505
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: dot de fata and at you Need Therapy Podcast. And

506
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: I hope you guys have the week you need to have,

507
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: the day you need to have, whatever it is that

508
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: you need to have. I'll be back on Wednesday for

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00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 1: cooks cont