WEBVTT - The Ultimatum: Sexless Cucks (Patreon Preview)

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<v Speaker 1>Xander could have eaten Yoli out in front of malth

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<v Speaker 1>and Mal would have been like, I support you, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>she's sheen am me.

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<v Speaker 2>No mane Yo? What is your childhood trauma?

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<v Speaker 1>I have yo? What's going down before you? So round?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Like a Virgin the Patreon where we force

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<v Speaker 1>our producer to talk about gay reality dating shows with us.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Ra's Damu, I'm Fran Toronto, and.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm producer Phoebe in the chi the ultimatum has a

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<v Speaker 2>rot havoc on my lege and the and the lives.

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<v Speaker 1>We gave an ultimatum, wait be an ultimatum that you

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<v Speaker 1>had to either be on this episode or.

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<v Speaker 2>Or not. Should we start with the question before we

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<v Speaker 2>get into it? Have you ever been given an ultimatum? Uh?

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<v Speaker 3>Well I was okay, so I've never been given an ultimatum,

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<v Speaker 3>But I was actually going to ask you, I Phebe,

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<v Speaker 3>what drama has this has this inspired in your life?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have like other community members that are all

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<v Speaker 1>divided amongst who they side with in the show.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I think everyone like sides with no one

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<v Speaker 2>in the show pretty much. Yeah, I mean the people

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<v Speaker 2>we don't the people that we don't side with are

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<v Speaker 2>like the people who produce this show. Yeah, yeah, like

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<v Speaker 2>and did not just send these people to therapy right

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<v Speaker 2>off the bat?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that really that really would have been the best

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<v Speaker 1>way to do this is like put like a fifty

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<v Speaker 1>one fifty on everyone in the cast. They are literally

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<v Speaker 1>all so unthapized.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like kind of terrifying, Like literally so many of

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<v Speaker 3>their problems would be solved with therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>It should have been maybe like girl interrupted, Oh wait,

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<v Speaker 2>like as in, they should all be in an insane asylums.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's what.

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<v Speaker 3>You have to say that you said, girl interrupted, And

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, I think we've all agreed that not

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<v Speaker 3>everyone in this show.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry that interrupted?

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<v Speaker 1>That interrupted, girl boy interrupted. Okay, So I want to

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<v Speaker 1>lay out for any virgins listening who haven't watched the

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<v Speaker 1>show what it is the premise. This is a Netflix

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<v Speaker 1>reality dating show. It's the second season, and this is

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<v Speaker 1>their first all queer season of it. The show has

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<v Speaker 1>five couples, and in each couple, one of the partners

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<v Speaker 1>really wants to get married. The other one is dragging

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<v Speaker 1>their feet for whatever, and so as they come into

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<v Speaker 1>the show, that partner gives them an ultimatum that after

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<v Speaker 1>the experiment, as they say it, they will either get

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<v Speaker 1>engaged or break up. And how they do that is

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<v Speaker 1>they meet the other contestants or like experiment members, guinea pigs, whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>and they find a new boo to spend three weeks with.

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<v Speaker 1>Then after that they go back to their original partner,

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<v Speaker 1>and at the end they have to decide do they

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<v Speaker 1>want to get engaged, do they want to stay with

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<v Speaker 1>the new person they found, or do they want to

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<v Speaker 1>be single. The show's hosted by Joanna Swisher Garcia from Rebo,

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<v Speaker 1>who is not queer and absolutely did not know what

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<v Speaker 1>she was getting into, not exciting for the show, say

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<v Speaker 1>the words fingergate at the reunion.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh but the thing is, I'm sorry, I just I

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<v Speaker 3>feel like I who How many people does the casting

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<v Speaker 3>decision need to get through before somebody says, hey, who

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<v Speaker 3>is this woman and why is she hosting this show?

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<v Speaker 1>Like literally, at.

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<v Speaker 3>Any point if that question is asked in any room,

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<v Speaker 3>like an executive's room and a casting decision room, and

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<v Speaker 3>like in like any sort of like work room, whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>If somebody asks the question, hey, who is this woman

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<v Speaker 3>and why is she hosting this show?

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<v Speaker 1>What is the answer to that question?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think there was a whole lot of like

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<v Speaker 2>editorial oversight.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think this show production was horrible. The thing

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<v Speaker 2>they thought most about was the cups.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, the cops wait to talk about the cops

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<v Speaker 3>talk about.

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<v Speaker 2>The their metal continuity cups.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is a thing that that happens on all

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<v Speaker 1>Netflix reality dating shows like Love is Blind. They of

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<v Speaker 1>these gold or silver goblets so that you can't see

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<v Speaker 1>the contents in them, so that for continuity reasons. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't really get that whole thing, because you don't want to,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, But like, I don't think it's like as

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<v Speaker 1>big of a problem. I think they've got bigger fish

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<v Speaker 1>to fry.

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<v Speaker 3>I agree, because I mean those continuity cups should have

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<v Speaker 3>their names on them, because it took me a really

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<v Speaker 3>long time to learn all their names.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's a you thing, babe.

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<v Speaker 2>I've read like two different lesbian writers recaps of all

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<v Speaker 2>the episodes, and uh no, Maddy Court, who does is

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<v Speaker 2>Zeno Warrior Princess has a subject, And then Carmen Maria

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<v Speaker 2>Machado made her substack free at least for one of

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<v Speaker 2>the recaps.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to read that.

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<v Speaker 2>She also, I think She also wrote like a a

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<v Speaker 2>more serious, like domestic violence related piece that is paywalls.

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<v Speaker 1>Every your woman I know was watching this show.

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<v Speaker 3>Every non queer woman I know was also watching that.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like everyone I know was watching this.

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<v Speaker 2>I was at Dyke Day Los Angeles this weekend, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was like I could I didn't even want to

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<v Speaker 2>look around because I kept thinking I was seeing them,

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<v Speaker 2>Like anytime I saw like any fake eyelashes, I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, Mildred like those three one And then

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<v Speaker 2>I did see that Tiff was like making an appearance

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<v Speaker 2>at a Pride thing in LA this weekend, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just like, not making an appearance, not their cameo prices

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<v Speaker 2>on their Instagram and I'm just like, oh.

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<v Speaker 1>God, wait, wait, wait wait remember any of the oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god cameo? Wait, my birthday is coming up? How much?

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<v Speaker 1>Who would you? Who would you want to for Xander?

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<v Speaker 1>Joanna Swisher Garcia No, I used to pay.

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<v Speaker 2>For a Xander cameo, like I would pay?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't, I don't. I don't want a cameo

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<v Speaker 1>from any of them. Xander. Let's let's face it, though

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<v Speaker 1>Xander is hot.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I think I think I'm the rest of your

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<v Speaker 2>eyebrows go and piece of toast eyebrow.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, the hottest is definitely Mal, but I still

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<v Speaker 1>think Xander's hot.

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<v Speaker 2>Malay has their flaws, but.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, like every thirty seconds, Mal would say, I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to make sure I'm showing up for you

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<v Speaker 1>in the right way, which is negative.

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<v Speaker 2>For some reason, it is negative to me too, because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just like you are pretending you want things that

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<v Speaker 2>you don't want. You're taking cable ship. And the hats

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<v Speaker 2>were terrible.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yes, oh so many hats, the hats, so many hats,

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<v Speaker 1>so many bow ties? What is up with the bow ties? Lesbians?

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<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to hear this full episode in our

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<v Speaker 1>full conversation if you can get that over on our Patreon,

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<v Speaker 1>Patreon dot com slash like a Virgin h