1 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: This is Frosted Tips with Lance Bass. And I heard 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: a podcast. Hello my Little Peanuts, it's me your host, 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: Lance Bass. This is Frosted Tips with me Lance. I 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: got my co host, my husband, the love of my life, 5 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: Mr Turkey Turchin is with us than Turkey. I'm so 6 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: sorry you didn't get to do the last two episodes. 7 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: It's very producing for people out there because you did 8 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: one episode and then you disappeared. But it's not your fault. 9 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: You got stuck in Miami. I did get stuck in 10 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,640 Speaker 1: Miami with um, your children, my children when they were 11 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: when they were misbehaving, there were yours. No, they're good, 12 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 1: they're good, safe and found. I really really missed you 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: because I was I was very busy that week. Thank goodness. 14 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: So Tom did fly. But all I wanted to do 15 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: was put together all the kids toys that we got 16 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: them for Christmas because we you know, we're in Miami 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: most of the time, and so we got them this, 18 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: you know, play kitchen, which I've always I've been wanting 19 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: them to have like a little play kitchen because that's 20 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: what my sister had growing up. Um, they might be 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: a little too young for it, but no, growing to it. Yeah, 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: but I couldn't screw the things in It's it's the weekends. 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: But I stupidly hurt my hand. And the older you 24 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: get that, you get really stupid in injuries, right, you 25 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: sneeze and nell of a sudden, you break a rib um. 26 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 1: I was throwing something off the back because we live 27 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: on a park, and you know you're not supposed to 28 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: throw food off the back. But I was feeding my 29 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: birds and squirrels, so I had some bird seed and 30 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: all that, and I didn't see that the fence was 31 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: really that close to me. So I threw it as 32 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: hard as I could in the backyard and just slammed 33 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,559 Speaker 1: my three fingers. Thought I broke them. This was last 34 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: August and I still cannot bend my fingers. It is 35 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: so bad. But the doctor said, I don't know. I 36 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: guess I hurt my nerve endings and it just takes 37 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: months and months for that to heal. I never heard 38 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: of that before. But we couldn't put together the play kitchen. 39 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: But luckily I couldn't twist the screw. I twisted the screws. 40 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,919 Speaker 1: It all came together. Everyone around of applause. Alright, guys, 41 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: well enough about us because we have a very special 42 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: guest with us. Um, you are secret boy Band Society 43 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: member number. I gotta figure this out, um, because I 44 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: think we're gonna have honorary members, which turkey or honorary 45 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: member number one? So we had of course I'm gonna 46 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: be number one because I created the show. Number two 47 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: went to uh who was our first guest? Oh my god, 48 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: j C. J C. Yeah. Then we had Jonathan Knight, 49 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: and now today we have I'm not gonna say my 50 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: favorite boy band. You're right there, right up there. Um. 51 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: Alexander James McClean, American singer, songwriter, actor, dancer, and model, 52 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: is a member of the hugely popular boy band the 53 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: Backstreet Boys. Born in West Palm Beach, McLean became interested 54 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: in performing at a young age and studied dance while 55 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: growing up. A J has been with The Backshet Boys. Three. 56 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: Alexander James McClean, Welcome to the show. Thank you are you? 57 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: Was so excited that we named our kid after you. 58 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: I am actually because I know, like we had talked 59 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: about that forever ago that if you guys ever had kids, 60 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,239 Speaker 1: We had talked about it. Then I threw it out 61 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: and I planted the seed when we did the MTV 62 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: Awards and then next thing, you know, it's Alexander. It 63 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: just it made sense. You know, Alexander's his other name, 64 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: James is my other name, Boom James, and imply I 65 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: know you're basically our child. Yeah, well I'm I'm, I'm. I'm. 66 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: Quite a few people's child could be like like like 67 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: a loose godfather. You know, it's just I'm sure there 68 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: is a godfather, but we don't do because we're but 69 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: well he's Jewish, I'm Baptist, so we don't really do 70 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: the godfather godmother thing. But people kind of appoint themselves 71 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: as then I'll just do it. It's like the loose godfather. Yeah, 72 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: I'm the loose godfather. I'm the GF. Lisa vander Pump 73 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: appointed herself as Got the Fairy, She's the godmother, and 74 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: then her friend Wendy is the fairy godmother. She's like 75 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: a princess. So you know, we have kinds of wonderful 76 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: village people around us. But let's talk about the more 77 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: serious part of your career, the modeling part. Yes, um, 78 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: I want to know. We're first modeling gig and was 79 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: Sears Catalog because I would love to see a little, 80 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: a little Alexander James. No ya, No, I did. So. 81 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: I was probably around god, I think about four years 82 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: old when I first did my first modeling thing and 83 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: it was a runaway show for j C for j 84 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: C Penny's Penny. But I will say this, so this 85 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: was my first my my my very first time knowing 86 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: what a quick change was. Um, because it was just 87 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: me and my mom backstage, and I had about twelve 88 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: different looks. So every time i'd go up, i'd walk 89 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 1: the catwalk, come back quick change. So like midway through 90 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 1: the show again, I'm like four or five years old, 91 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: my mom is changing me and I look up and 92 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: I saw my first pair of boobs that I had 93 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: ever seen in my life, and I did not know 94 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 1: what to think, didn't know what was going No like 95 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: model boobs, like like grown woman boobs. And I was 96 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 1: just like enamored. And I was just like my mom 97 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: is trying to get me dressed, and I'm just like 98 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: She's like, what are you looking at? Come on? Come on? 99 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: Uh and then I and then you know, I proceeded 100 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: to walk out holding hands with these models like they 101 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: were my parents. And uh, but yeah, that was my 102 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: that that was my first ever like modeling thing. I 103 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: wish I would have been asked. Cut two years down 104 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: the road when our career really kind of started to 105 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 1: kind of kick off. Uh. We had done a partnership 106 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: with Versacey for like wardrobe for the Millennium Tour, and 107 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: Kevin had gotten really close with Donna Tella and she 108 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: asked him to do like an actual Versacchy runway show. 109 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn it, why did he get to 110 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: do it? And I don't get it? But I did. 111 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: I mean I was lanky and kind of whatever, squirrelly, 112 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 1: and keV was like in the best shape of his life, 113 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 1: and he looked, you know, had that Tom Cruise Christian 114 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: Bailee thing going on, because yeah, tall, he was a 115 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,599 Speaker 1: handsome he has a handsome man. Yeah yeah, I said, 116 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,720 Speaker 1: I don't care if you want one. Love your mom. 117 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: I mean, going back to the mid nineties, remember when 118 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,280 Speaker 1: I first met you guys, probably in Germany somewhere. Your 119 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: mom was the one that always stood out to me 120 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: because she was just she was a lovely, lovely woman 121 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: and just made me feel so comfortable wherever I went. 122 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: And but I just saw her recently where was that. 123 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe at your show. Yeah 124 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: you're Vegas us from the other side, she is the best. 125 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: She just felt like everyone's mom, which was coming from 126 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: another group. This is so rare. It kind of was 127 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: everyone's mom. I mean there was a there was a 128 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: long stretch where we had no no management, no anything, 129 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: and she was kind of helping to steer the ship 130 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: along with some of our label folks. Um. But yeah, 131 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: she's phenomenal. I mean, single, single mom raised me as 132 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: good as she could. I think I turned out Okay, 133 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: I mean I'm not great, but yeah, the jury is 134 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: definitely still out. But now she lives in Vegas. I 135 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: moved her to Vegas back in seventeen and she loves 136 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: it out there. She loves it. She wanted to get 137 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: out of Florida as fast as she could, as most 138 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: of us do, for a various reasons. Yeah, when did 139 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: you move to Orlando because you moved there specifically to 140 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: get an entertainment Yeah. I moved to Orlando in I 141 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: want to say ninety one, Um, because I was in 142 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: South Florida, Boyton Beach, Boca. I was doing a lot 143 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: of musical theater in Boca at the Royal Palm Dinner Theater, 144 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: which is now sadly a apartment complex. They couldn't keep 145 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: up and I still kicked myself to this day. At 146 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: the height of our career, they somebody mentioned to me 147 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: an offer to buy out the theater, and sadly that 148 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: was right at the beginning of my drug and alcohol days. 149 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: So I've just forgot and it, you know, kind of 150 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: slept through my fingers, but or slept in my fingers. 151 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: But now sadly it's a freaking apartment complex. But um, 152 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean, you know, I moved. I moved 153 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: to like Ultimont area in and then moved to the 154 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: sand Lake area right down the street from trans Con 155 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: in ninety two ish because I actually met Lou and two. 156 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: So for me, it's already been thirty years. Well I 157 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: want to know how, because you know, you did my documentary, 158 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: which thank you so much, con was so funny, very 159 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: eye opening for me and doing all that research, and 160 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: for the last few years we've been working on the 161 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: scripted version of that, which is going to be coming 162 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,319 Speaker 1: out next year. Wait till you see who plays Lou. 163 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: It's gonna be great. I can't say the network or 164 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: anything that Yet in anyway, the writers at all this 165 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: heavy research, and I think they used your mom's book 166 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 1: a lot for you. And there's a lot of things 167 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: like is this true or not? So now that I 168 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: have you, I want to know. Um. So in the 169 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: script they have you in Orlando meeting Howie d at 170 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 1: a Latin festival. Okay, so that was true. That is true, 171 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: and you were into your a puppeteer. I did a 172 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: little bit of everything. Um you know, this was a 173 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: forty five minute one man show that my mom and 174 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: I put together for me, showing pretty much whatever I 175 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: could do, such magic, puppeteering, Uh, you name it, I 176 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: did all of it. You're like the original Miranda. And yeah, 177 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: so Howie at the time had had a partner, Jen, 178 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: who was his girlfriend at the time. Actually they were 179 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: a duo. I was performing outside, he was performing inside. 180 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: The first place was it was a thousand dollars and 181 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 1: I won. So my first time actually meeting how He, 182 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,959 Speaker 1: I beat him, which is awesome. And then I would 183 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: see him a lot at auditions throughout Orlando, whether it 184 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: was a Disney or Nickelodeon, because Nickelodeon was massive back then. 185 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: Um and then Nick started popping up, which made no 186 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: sense because they would, you know, call me and say, okay, 187 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: we're looking for a young Latin boy. And then I 188 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: show up and it's like a bunch of you and 189 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, what doesn't make anything? Like yes, blonde hair, 190 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: blue line, and I'm like, how do I fit in 191 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: here at all? It doesn't make any sense to me. 192 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: So I never got any of the parts. Um. And 193 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: then uh, and then Nick and I actually made it too. 194 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: Nick went further than I did to the Mickey Mouse Club. Um, 195 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: he actually got an offer, and I was like, runner 196 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: up for whatever that season would have been. Oh, I 197 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: didn't know that, you know, even audition for we both 198 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: we feel every single person or age we both we 199 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: both auditioned. And then Nick got an offer I think 200 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,679 Speaker 1: it was for like fifty dollars, and his mom basically 201 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: said and right at that same time he got the 202 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: audition for us and picked. So his mom is like, 203 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 1: at twelve years old, okay, you decide do you want 204 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: to take a chance on this group that may go 205 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: nowhere or do you want to take the deal that's 206 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: on the table and go be And And that would 207 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: have been if I'm if I'm right, that would have 208 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: been the season that was justin j C everybody. So 209 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 1: who knows what group you would have ended up in 210 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: if that had gone. That was little choices, you know, 211 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 1: that butterfly effect. I mean, that's a big as choice 212 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,959 Speaker 1: to make. Would have chosen that, we probably wouldn't be around. 213 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it really just would have messed up everything. 214 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: It would have been way bad, way. Yeah, it would 215 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: have been a conundrum for sure. I mean it definitely. 216 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: Who knows if I would have been in your group, 217 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: you would have been in my group, the groups would 218 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: have even happened, Probably not, Yeah, I mean who knows. 219 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 1: That's it's crazy. And then behind the scenes, you know, 220 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: Lou Proleman and transcond is putting this whole thing together. 221 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: We all know the story. You know, we found out 222 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: about new kids on the blogs, like why do these 223 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: kids have a billion dollar business? I want to be 224 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 1: in this business. Wanted to create a music group. There 225 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 1: was no such thing as a boy band at that time. 226 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: There's that work didn't exist. This didn't exist. So it's like, 227 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: I need a group like this, I want a billion 228 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: dollar business. Um. I wanted to put you know, this 229 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 1: group together and again this is what my writers, you know, 230 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,680 Speaker 1: told me, and I'm like, I have no idea. Lou 231 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: needed money, went to some investors and this quickly put 232 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 1: a group together that I think you were a part 233 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: of before. Yes, there was. There was a first incantation 234 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: of Backstreet Boys, which was myself, how He and Nick 235 00:12:54,600 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: and two other gentlemen, Sam and Charles Um. And within 236 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 1: like the first week, Um, Charles just wasn't it just 237 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: wasn't jelling. And how we knew Charles, I believe from college. 238 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,680 Speaker 1: So we all went to dinner. I went outside to 239 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: have a cigarette because I didn't want to even see 240 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: this ship go down, part of me saying sh uh. 241 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: So we all chose Howie to be the one to 242 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,959 Speaker 1: break the news to Charles because he knew him to say, hey, man, 243 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: it's just not working out. So after Charles left, Uh, 244 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: we got Kevin. Kevin came from Disney at the time 245 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 1: because actually, yeah, lose limo driver at the time was 246 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: friends with somebody that was friends with Kevin. Kevin was 247 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 1: doing Ninja Turtles, he was Prince Eric, he was Sebastian. Uh, 248 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: he was Aladdin all at Disney. So we got Kevin 249 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: and then Sam didn't work out. We were kind of 250 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: clashing a little bit and it just didn't gel. So 251 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: he quit. Now we're down to four and we were 252 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: going to go back to the original grouping of guys 253 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: that had that that had done the first audition because 254 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 1: Howie they lost his freaking they lost his resume. So 255 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,199 Speaker 1: a year later he got cast back in the band 256 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: because his stage name was Tony Dnetti. So that's why 257 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: he got lost in the mix. Lose lose casting. Uh woman, 258 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: I came, I think, oh glorious nicol Um. She couldn't 259 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: find Howie because he wasn't under Howard Duroux. He was 260 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: under Tony Dennetty. So cut too. Now we're down to four. 261 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: Kevin's like, listen, I've got this cousin. He lives in Kentucky. 262 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: He can sing. I'm pretty sure he can dance. I 263 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: don't know. And Kevin called up Brian literally he was 264 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 1: I think a senior or junior in high school at 265 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: the time, and he got called to the office. What 266 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: up because he's like, why are you calling me in 267 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: the middle of class. He's like, well, you know, I 268 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: was wanted da da da, Hey, I'm in this group. 269 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: Do you want to maybe come down to Florida and 270 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: meet the rest of the guys and see if this 271 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: is something that you're interested in. So cut to Brian 272 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: showed up to the band house. I'm sure you guys 273 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: saw the band house at least once or twice. I 274 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 1: don't think so. I mean, I mean maybe you didn't. 275 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. We that might have fizzled out before 276 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 1: you guys started because our own band house right across 277 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: from Universal Studios. Yeah, we were liking like the Lake 278 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: Buena Vista area. It's kind of Lake Road, Yeah, definitely different, 279 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: but we you know, I was the first one to 280 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 1: meet Brian, and he showed up in jeene shorts, cut 281 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: off flannel with like the fray. He had a freaking 282 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: fade and he's like, hey, y'all, my name is Brian Lanstrup, 283 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: Kevin's cousin. I'm like, oh, good god, man, what the 284 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: hell just walked in the door. And that night we 285 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 1: sat in the garage, which was our little rehearsal space. 286 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 1: We had mirrors up and in a fake little dance floor, 287 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: and we picked out the harmonies too. It's so hard 288 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 1: to say, goodbody. Yesterday, my boys, two men and two 289 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: weeks later we did grad Night Uhtree at Sea World 290 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: and that was that was it. That was the launch, 291 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: I mean that was the birth thing obviously our career. 292 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 1: We didn't sign with Jive until like but we did 293 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: the whole high school, middle school, middle school tour before that, 294 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: the E s M Tour had to start. Dr Philip 295 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: Hie had to play all those little things. Um, when 296 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: you got signed to Germany because it's uh Munich, Germany, 297 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: BMG eriola, Um, what was it? Like? I've never heard 298 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: the story of when you first learned that you got 299 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: signed with a German label? What did you think of? 300 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 1: Because when we got signed over in Germany, I didn't 301 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: even know that it was a possibility. Well, so so 302 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: we got signed. So the very first one that happened 303 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: was actually Mercury Records. Mercury Records gave us an offer 304 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: and that fell through, and Dave McPherson, who was the 305 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 1: head of an R at Mercury, moved from Mercury over 306 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: to Jive, which was just beginning that basically took us 307 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: with him. So once we got signed a Jive, then 308 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: we realized that there was I guess you can call 309 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: them like many labels around the globe. In the US, 310 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 1: we couldn't find a pot to piss in, like nobody 311 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: really cared. But Germany, Austria, Switzerland loved us, so hence 312 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: the German label, hence US starting and focusing on those 313 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: territories for the better part of almost like two years 314 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: um overnight sensations there. So we we went to we 315 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: did this thing called the Pop Explosion in Norremberg and 316 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 1: it was US in E y C. Were the only 317 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: two American acts on the bill. And our single at 318 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 1: the time was we Got It going on. It had 319 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: taken off on like RTL and all the different radio 320 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: stations throughout Europe, and people knew our song like it 321 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: was crazy. We're in our red, white and blue American 322 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: outfits and uh and you know, we fly back to 323 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: Orlando and we used to call it no fan Land, 324 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,160 Speaker 1: Like we'd get back to the airport and you could 325 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,919 Speaker 1: you could hear a pin drop. It was like, damn, 326 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 1: this sucks man, you know. But we were loved story. 327 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: But then Spice Girls came out and Hanson because in 328 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: the States it was grunge and wrapped that's what that's 329 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:16,680 Speaker 1: all radio was playing, was Nirvana Dre snoop. There was 330 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 1: no room for us. And then Hanson came out with 331 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: him about Spice Girls want to be Now pop Radio 332 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 1: was like, oh what is this? And it opened the doors. 333 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: Then we come back and now there's fans starting to 334 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,120 Speaker 1: show up and things started happening, and I was like, whoa, 335 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,119 Speaker 1: what what? Where? Where was the shift? And then it 336 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,639 Speaker 1: got to the point where we couldn't even like, we 337 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 1: couldn't go anywhere, couldn't you couldn't do anything, you know. 338 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: I used to frequent the Florida Mall until I couldn't, 339 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: you know, I got chased down by a tour group 340 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 1: of Brazilian girls. And the only thing we can compare 341 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 1: that to was Beatles New Kids. If you ever went 342 00:18:50,920 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: to their concerts you were, how old were you when? 343 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 1: Probably like yeah, like probably like seventeen eighteen, when when 344 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: like it really shifted. Um, do you think that affected 345 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 1: you in any way? Just to have all that love 346 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 1: coming away and I mean girls chasing you everywhere, it's 347 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: just something that's I mean, no one can really compare. No, 348 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,040 Speaker 1: it's you, don't you know, Because I had a lot 349 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: of I personally had a lot of haters, um amongst like, 350 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,479 Speaker 1: you know, I only went to high school my freshman 351 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,159 Speaker 1: year and then I dipped out and I got tutored 352 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 1: because we were traveling everywhere. I graduated like a year 353 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: early when I was seventeen. Um. But like my chorus 354 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: teacher at the time, you know, I was so excited 355 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: and I could share this with him, like hey, I'm I'm, I'm, 356 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in this group. It's gonna be huge. 357 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: And he don't get your hopes up. Don't get your 358 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: hopes up, and just kept like beating me down with it. 359 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: And I just and you know, my so called friends, 360 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: which are not my friends anymore, we're all saying the 361 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: same thing, like, ah, this is gonna last, This isn't 362 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: gonna up. And then you know, cut you when things 363 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: took off and I'd run into these people, you know, 364 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: they loved me. I was their best friend. That I'm like, no, 365 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: suck it, um. But yeah, it was a real weird 366 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: experience to you know. I'm forty five now and and 367 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 1: and I feel like in the past four to five years, 368 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: it's finally started to settle in. Like since there's been 369 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: this resurgence, since we did our residency, all these things 370 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: have been happening for the good. Uh, it's definitely finally 371 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 1: I can really truly appreciate it. When you're seventeen eighteen, 372 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: you don't know what is up or down. Yeah, all 373 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: these girls are throwing themselves at you. You're traveling the world. 374 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: It's great, but it's overwhelming. It's extremely overwhelming, and it's 375 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: very time consuming, and you didn't have time to just 376 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: be a kid, and you're just you're becoming an adult. 377 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I remember I joined in saying at sixteen, 378 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: but from Mississippi, that's really like thirteen, right, you know, 379 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: we weren't very advanced. Uh, but when I joined the group, 380 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: you know, my four guys were already living life, I 381 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 1: mean on their own. I mean they're only nineteen themselves, 382 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 1: but they had been working already for so many years 383 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: and definitely having relationships, which I really didn't. You know, 384 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,879 Speaker 1: I was a closeted kid. Um, so at that age 385 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: being kind of just thrown out into the world and 386 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: having everyone throw themselves at you, were you the type 387 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: of normal teenager They're like, yeah, just started dating every 388 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 1: single girl. I mean, I you know it was all 389 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 1: older girls. I mean I say older, but I was 390 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,439 Speaker 1: like seventeen eighteen. They were like twenty two, and I 391 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 1: was like, oh that's an older girl. Um, but yeah, 392 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,440 Speaker 1: I mean I definitely had my fun. I'm not gonna 393 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna deny that, because what guy wouldn't at 394 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 1: that age when it was just okay, yes, I I 395 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: you know, like I said, everything happened so fast. It 396 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: was just kind of this whirlwind. But really was when 397 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: it really was kind of when everything kind of went 398 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 1: upside down for all of us in a good way. 399 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: But like Millennium, our biggest album to date, that to 400 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: me was like this overnight insanity. I mean, you know, 401 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 1: TRL was created because of groups like us. You know, 402 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: m M MTV needed to find a way to retire 403 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 1: music videos and they created tr L. You know, they 404 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: had the Top twenty Countdown, they had the Rock Countdown, 405 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: but they didn't have anything for the Instincts, the Backstreets, 406 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 1: the Christina, the Brittany, the Fanatics, you know, the Blank 407 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: Twos and all of this. That was that era, the Hansens, 408 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: the Spice Girls, all of it. So you know, when 409 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: we shut down Times Square, when all these things happened, 410 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: it was just when you couldn't go anywhere is when 411 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: it really kind of hit us. And some of us 412 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: took it better than others. Others really kind of became 413 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: more of like a recluse, um, and kind of ducked 414 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: back in their shell. And how do you know how 415 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,880 Speaker 1: you're going to act until it's happening exactly when you're 416 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: in it, you don't really know what to do. Um. 417 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: And I I took it and ran with it, and 418 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:22,120 Speaker 1: then unfortunately shortly after I took it their w own direction. Um. 419 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: You know, because I just I kind of lost my identity. 420 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,880 Speaker 1: I kind of lost myself. You know. Well, let's talk 421 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: about that, because everyone handles fame in a different way. 422 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: I always say I was I'm so happy that I 423 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 1: was in a group instead of solo because at least 424 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: in a group, we had amazing family members around us, right, Like, 425 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: we were very tight with our family, which I think 426 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,880 Speaker 1: kept us very down to earth. I had four other 427 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: best friends that would just slap you across the face 428 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 1: if you did anything stupid. Um. But then some of 429 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: us go off and you know, do some stupid things, 430 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,920 Speaker 1: and you know, with you and um, you know, that's 431 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,919 Speaker 1: when your addiction started. How how did that start? Do 432 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 1: you remember the first time, um, you had a drink. 433 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: The first time I actually had a drink. I was 434 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 1: probably about eighteen. I had a beer with this girl 435 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: I was dating, and I hated it. I thought it 436 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: was the most it was. It tastes like pissed. I 437 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: was like, this is nothing. I know what piss tastes like, 438 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: clarified quick, but it was. It was. It was just gross. 439 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,200 Speaker 1: And it was like flat water or like flat whatever soda. 440 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: But um, like my first real drink. Um. I don't 441 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: even know why. But we were at an after party 442 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: or like an end of tour party, and I was 443 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: I was always the guy that would hang out with 444 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,440 Speaker 1: our crew or our band. I knew everyone's first and 445 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,959 Speaker 1: last name. I knew their families. I said, hid everybody 446 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: in the crew every day that we showed up for 447 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 1: a show. Um, that's just a person I am. You know, 448 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: some of the boys may have known a few people, 449 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 1: but I made it a point to make myself known. 450 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: I want to know everybody, um, because they're the heart 451 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: and soul of any tour. They're the ones that put 452 00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 1: the show together. And um. One of the guy was 453 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 1: handing me a shot and I tried to drink it 454 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever tried 455 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:11,879 Speaker 1: in my life. And it was sambuca. Then then I 456 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: then I went back for another one, and I was like, Okay, 457 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: I kind of I kind of like this little burning sensation. 458 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: So sambuko was my first drink of choice. And then 459 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: I got alcohol poisoning and that that then moved to whiskey, 460 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: and then Jack was my was my demise, Jack's Jack's 461 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: the one that ended me up in rehab for the 462 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 1: first time. Jack. And then then Jack led to drugs, 463 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: which wasn't too far. And it's great because you know 464 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: I said in the last episode, you know I drank 465 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: a lot at that age, just because I was trying 466 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,719 Speaker 1: to hide something right, to know him something um And 467 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just the type of person that 468 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: might not have that h that addiction just doesn't really 469 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 1: stick to me, because I I could go weeks without 470 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 1: drinking if I wanted to. But I mean I was 471 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 1: a too for sure, Like I didn't you know, I 472 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,360 Speaker 1: had friends, you know, going out when they're twenty one, 473 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,679 Speaker 1: getting annihilated. I didn't really pick up a drink till 474 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,000 Speaker 1: I was about twenty five, Like really drink like drink 475 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: drink were trying to hide a numb at that page. 476 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: I think for me, Um, you know, I'm just now 477 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 1: at forty five kind of in this. I've been sober 478 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: now for about almost sixteen months, seventeen months now, congratulation, 479 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: thank you, and I this is the first time that 480 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: I that I'm finally on this true trip of self 481 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 1: discovery and I'm learning now what set these things off, Um, 482 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: whether it was abandonment issues from my from my dad 483 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: leaving or you know, for me, Um, even though people 484 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 1: know me as this outgoing, flamboyant fun guy, uh, I'm 485 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: I'm I've got very low self esteem, like I'm really 486 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: an introvert, and I do all those things in my mind. 487 00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: I think it's making me feel like I'm like I'm 488 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: better then. But when I finally get to a place 489 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,719 Speaker 1: where I know I'm no better and no worse than 490 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 1: the person next to me, and when I get to 491 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: a place that I can honestly truly love myself and 492 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 1: believe that I have worth, well, I finally have gotten 493 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: to the place that I've been trying to get to 494 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: for the last years. But I mean it's a daily 495 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 1: thing and but I am learning a lot more about 496 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: myself today because I'm taking the time to do it. 497 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: I'm doing the writing, I'm doing my twelve steps that 498 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,160 Speaker 1: I'm supposed to do in a A and I'm finally 499 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,760 Speaker 1: it's really painful because normally around this time the pain 500 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: that I'm in currently, I would pick up a drink 501 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 1: because I don't want to feel that pain. What do 502 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: you put it into now? Because I mean, I just 503 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: see the motivation with you now, I you earn the 504 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,879 Speaker 1: best shape of your um, So I mean, what what 505 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: are you putting that into? Is it just I'm putting 506 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,640 Speaker 1: it into health, I'm putting it into my kids, I'm 507 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: putting it into my family, but most importantly, I'm putting 508 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: it into myself. Like I'm wearing all my emotions on 509 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: my sleeve now, and if something comes up and I 510 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,880 Speaker 1: don't like the way I feel, I call my sponsor. 511 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 1: I talked to my family, I talked to my friends, 512 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: and I just talk about it as opposed to me 513 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: holding it inside and just trying to handle it on 514 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: my own. It's okay to ask for help, there's nothing 515 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: wrong with that. I try to do it. My ego 516 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: told me, you got this. You could do this on 517 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: your own. You don't need help. You don't need a 518 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: twelve step program, you don't need a sponsor, you don't 519 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: need to talk to your family. Don't burden anybody else 520 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: with your BS. But it's not burdening anyone, it's just 521 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 1: having an outlet to talk about it. Um, how does 522 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: your wife, Rochelle, how did she deal with that? I mean, 523 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: she obviously knew what I mean she you know, she 524 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 1: at the beginning of our relationship thirteen years ago. Um, 525 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: she thought the drugs and the drinking was like a 526 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 1: casual thing, you know. I mean, hell, I did blow 527 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: in front of her, but she thought it was just 528 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: a casual thing. Oh, you know, he does this once 529 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,719 Speaker 1: in a while. Then she started to see it's okay. 530 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: This is now Monday through front, Monday through Sunday. Now 531 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 1: it's sometimes multiple times a day. And you know, I 532 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 1: put her through the ringer, um, you know, and she 533 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: deserves every award known to man, both as a wife 534 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 1: and as a mother and as just a human being. 535 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 1: Um to put up with my ship, but um, you know, honestly, 536 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 1: she she ended up going to alan On, which is 537 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: basically a a for Norman's um. They put you through 538 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 1: the same twelve step program that we go through, except 539 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,360 Speaker 1: you don't have a drug or drinking problem, just to understand, 540 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 1: but to really understand what goes on in my cuckoo mind, 541 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 1: because my mind is pretty cuckoo. But you know, we've 542 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: we've really come to a place of understanding that you know, 543 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: she gets that relapse is part of the deal. Now 544 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: for me, relapses off the table because I don't have 545 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 1: another one in me. The fetinal crisis is terrifying. I 546 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 1: don't I literally deleted every single one of my dealer's 547 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: numbers out of my phone, which means if I wanted 548 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: to get drugs, I'd have to go to some rando 549 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: at a bar or club, and you don't know what 550 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: you're getting. That's dangerous and that could be the end 551 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: of me, you know. And I'm not gonna leave my 552 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 1: kids father list or my wife a widow because of 553 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: something is frivolous as that. So I remember we didn't 554 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 1: even know each other that well. But I want to 555 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 1: say it was the time when you did the call, 556 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 1: because we were saying at the Layer mattage. We just 557 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 1: happened to be staying at the same hotel, and I 558 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 1: remember you saw me or something. You're like, hey, coming here, 559 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 1: and it was in the theater of the lawyer Mattage, right. 560 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: They had this like little theater you could screen things, 561 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: and it was just you in there drinking by yourself, 562 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: I think, probably straight Jack Daniels, and you're like, come 563 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 1: in there. So I went in there and you showed 564 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,480 Speaker 1: me the video and you were kind of incoherent then, 565 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. It was the 566 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: first time that I realized, oh my gosh, he j 567 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 1: has a problem. Um. And it just really it was 568 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: the first time I've ever seen anyone, uh that I 569 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: would consider like an alcoholic and never knew what that 570 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: looked like. Um. And I remember just feeling like, oh 571 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: my god, I hope someone has your back. Do people 572 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 1: know that you have this problem? So I kept it 573 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 1: in the closet for as long as I could until 574 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 1: it finally started to affect my job, my day to 575 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: day life. You know, the boys were oblivious because I 576 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: still showed up on time, I still did my job. 577 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 1: I was a functioning alcohol until I wasn't functioning. Um. 578 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: You know, I was still living in uh in Philip's 579 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: landing back in Orlando and um, when we were in 580 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 1: rehearsals for the Black and Blue tour and I called 581 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 1: in sick. I wasn't sick. I was just hungover and 582 00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,959 Speaker 1: in like what they called a coke cooma like I had. 583 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 1: I hadn't been to bed in days. And the boys 584 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 1: finally started to kind of catch on a little bit 585 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 1: that this was more than just drinking. They broke into 586 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: my house. They went to my kitchen. I had a walk. 587 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:15,720 Speaker 1: I don't even know why I had a walk. I 588 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: never cooked in my house, but I had a walk. 589 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: And they filled it with ice water and they dumped 590 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: it on my head and woke me up. I was 591 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: pissed as hell. I told him I was gonna call 592 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 1: the cops for breaking into my house. Get the hell 593 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 1: out of my house. Showed up the rehearsal later that day. 594 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,960 Speaker 1: We all discussed it water under the bridge. Then I 595 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: knew that it was that I was. I was. I 596 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: was crossing a personal line when I finally started drinking 597 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: on stage the second and last song of our show, 598 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: because the encore was shaping my heart, because that was 599 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: the single off that was the big single off Black 600 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 1: and Blue. We would do the call and then go 601 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: into shape of My Heart and uh. Our percussion player 602 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: would have these two red olo cups sitting at his rig. 603 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 1: One was water, one was straight Jack. So I did 604 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: this whole stick where it's a fake phone call and 605 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm talking to the girl and like the intro of 606 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: the song and I and I'd be like, hey, is 607 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 1: it you calling me? And I would look at my 608 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: band and then I'd go and I would be like, oh, 609 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 1: I'm so, I'm like parched, and I would just chug 610 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: that son of a bit and it wouldn't really hit 611 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 1: me to like the end of the show that I'm 612 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: like okay, and then by then I'm back in the 613 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 1: hotel room. But that's when it was like okay, dude, 614 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 1: and I would tell myself this, like what are you doing? 615 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: You're drinking on stage. Did you ever feel like you 616 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,479 Speaker 1: would be kicked out of the band at any point? No? 617 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: But yes, uh, you know. I I was kind of 618 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,400 Speaker 1: high and mighty at that time, and the boys flew 619 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 1: out a therapist that I never used to be on 620 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: the road. Then they would do random drug testing with me, 621 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 1: and as a true addict, I tried to bs my 622 00:33:55,560 --> 00:34:00,160 Speaker 1: way out of my drug test by paying all one 623 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 1: of the local crew guys to piss in a cup. 624 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: So I do it, and then I literally this is 625 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,239 Speaker 1: the extent that I went to. I put it in 626 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: a bag, this guy's p random guy put into bag, 627 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,640 Speaker 1: fancied a little hose that I could get because our 628 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,600 Speaker 1: tour manager had to watch me. Pete right, So I 629 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: had the hose come down my long sleep into my 630 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 1: hand and I stood at the freaking urinal and I 631 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,919 Speaker 1: just unpinched it and then it pe so cut. Two 632 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 1: drug test results come back. There's like seven drugs and 633 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, this isn't my p 634 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,920 Speaker 1: this is on my p. I lied. I'm sorry. The 635 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: only drug I have is cocaine and some alcohol. I 636 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: didn't do. Whatever the hell else is in this guy's body. 637 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,920 Speaker 1: Yeah maybe not a local yeah, so, but you know. 638 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: So then then it then it kind of came to 639 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 1: the So then the kind of precipice was we were 640 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,919 Speaker 1: supposed to throw the first pitch out at I think 641 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: it was the first game of the season major League Baseball, uh, 642 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 1: Boston Red Sox game. It wouldn't have been me, that's 643 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,560 Speaker 1: for sure. But so the night before we had a show. 644 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 1: Management sat us down in the dressing room said, hey, 645 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: I know it's y'all's day off, but can you all 646 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,719 Speaker 1: do this? Are you guys in? And we all five 647 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 1: said sure? So I did. I did agree. Cut two 648 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,319 Speaker 1: went out that night, didn't go to bed, talk to 649 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,040 Speaker 1: my tour manager that raised next morning and said I'm out. 650 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: I'm not doing it, and he's like, look, you need 651 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,640 Speaker 1: to talk to your bandmates. I I can't let you 652 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: make that call. I'm like, well, I'm telling you I'm 653 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 1: not going. So I told Kevin he was piste off 654 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 1: and he came to try to get in my room. 655 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 1: I double bolted everything. He broke down the door to 656 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: the hotel room, but he couldn't get into the master 657 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,760 Speaker 1: bedroom that had a double bolt. We exchanged some words, 658 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,960 Speaker 1: and the last thing he said to me was I 659 00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:00,320 Speaker 1: don't trust you. You're dead to me, and he left. 660 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 1: I called my security to the room. I called her 661 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,279 Speaker 1: manager to the room and I said, I quit. I quit. 662 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I I don't I don't deserve this. 663 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,800 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna put up with this. They're crazy. I'm done. 664 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 1: And the therapist finally shows up and She's like, look, 665 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,960 Speaker 1: this is your options. I don't think quitting the group 666 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,359 Speaker 1: is the answer, but I think you need help. So 667 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 1: I'm suggesting I've already made a phone call. They have 668 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: a bed waiting for you at Sierra Tucson and Tucson, Arizona. 669 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 1: It's treatment center. And I was like, well, can I 670 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 1: go home first? I wanted to see my mom and 671 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 1: she's like, well you can, but I I suggest against 672 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 1: it because moms with addicts that are new to this, 673 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: they want to be mom. They want to fix you. 674 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,719 Speaker 1: She's not gonna be able to fix you. Only you 675 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: can fix you with the proper help. And so I 676 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,520 Speaker 1: went door to door. I left from Boston flew straight 677 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,400 Speaker 1: to Arizona and that was my first time in treatment. 678 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 1: That was July nine, two and one. Is there? I mean, 679 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 1: you know, Kevin breaking the door down, you know, as 680 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 1: you know a recovering addict. Is there a way it 681 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: should have been approached to you that would have been 682 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 1: better or are you just happy that anything like that 683 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:32,320 Speaker 1: happened because it was exactly the way that it should 684 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 1: have transpired. I you know, the boys did not know 685 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: how to deal with You don't know the extent of 686 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: how bad it is. But they had seen the progression 687 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,360 Speaker 1: up to that point, and I think Kevin was probably 688 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,560 Speaker 1: the most hip to it, and just it was the 689 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: straw that broke the camel's back at that point, and 690 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: he I think it was more fear based than anger 691 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,400 Speaker 1: from him. I think he was terrified that I was 692 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: going to wind up dead. So it was from a 693 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:09,080 Speaker 1: loving place. UM. And you know, Kevin and Brian actually 694 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 1: came to visit me and treatment, and you know, we 695 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 1: had talked about how do we how do we work 696 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 1: the tour, how do we finish the tour? What do 697 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 1: we do? Um? And it just so happened that Nick 698 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:26,080 Speaker 1: had just broken his hand, so, um, we had to 699 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: take the tour down. And the boys went on to TRL. 700 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,879 Speaker 1: The very next day, they flew out to New York 701 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 1: and they they said that, you know, our brothers going 702 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 1: to treatment. And to this day, I've never watched that episode. 703 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: I've never seen it. Um. All I know is from 704 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,920 Speaker 1: what I've heard is that it's a tear fest. The 705 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:49,719 Speaker 1: fans were all hysterical. Um, people were genuinely concerned. Um. 706 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,840 Speaker 1: You know, the boys were all teary eyed, and you know, 707 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: this is this is their brother. But I guess everyone 708 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,840 Speaker 1: is different and how they would like to be approached. 709 00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 1: But do you have any tips out there for some 710 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: when listening that has a family member, a friend that 711 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: they just know has a problem with alcohol drying. I mean, 712 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:08,359 Speaker 1: you know, look at the end of the day, if 713 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 1: you have a friend, if you have a loved one, 714 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,680 Speaker 1: if you have someone that you know is struggling, sit 715 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:18,440 Speaker 1: them down and just say, hey, talk to me. I 716 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,879 Speaker 1: see you're hurting, something is off, something is bothering. You 717 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,879 Speaker 1: talk to me. And if they want to, they will. 718 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 1: If they don't, they don't. But don't don't make it 719 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 1: about yourself. Don't make it that you're better than or 720 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 1: that you know they have a problem. Don't approach it 721 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,040 Speaker 1: that way. You've got to be inviting, you've got to 722 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: be patient, and you've gotta be understanding. Um. Yes, it's 723 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: got to be a safe place. You can't come in, 724 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,360 Speaker 1: you know, guns blazing like you're a drunk. I know 725 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:52,840 Speaker 1: you are quit that you know, defensive exactly, and you 726 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,760 Speaker 1: know the claws come out you get pinned in a corner. 727 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,200 Speaker 1: That's how I was. I felt attacked even though I 728 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 1: was desperate for help. I wanted help but I didn't 729 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 1: know how to ask for it. So you know, it's 730 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 1: differ for everybody, but it looks thank God today, finally 731 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:16,120 Speaker 1: the mental health crisis is not tucked under the rugg any. 732 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 1: It is now up on the It's up on the 733 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,799 Speaker 1: rooftop screaming out. This is a this is a thing. 734 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,800 Speaker 1: It is an epidemic. It is affecting millions and millions 735 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: of people across the globe. Um, you know, whether it's depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol, 736 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,479 Speaker 1: and it's harder to see because you're not falling down 737 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:42,000 Speaker 1: some steps or no. I mean, I you know, without 738 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,920 Speaker 1: getting emotional about it. You know I will go to 739 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: I'm sure our mutual friend twitch. You know I mean 740 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:54,840 Speaker 1: that I'm still It's still kills me to this day. Um, 741 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 1: you know, I've sobbed about it, because when you know 742 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 1: someone that well and you just we we as addicts, 743 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: we as people that are suffering from any kind of 744 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:12,279 Speaker 1: mental health, depression, anxiety, we are the best at hiding it. 745 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 1: We can keep it under wraps. We deserve like the 746 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 1: Oscar of oscars, because if we don't want you to know, 747 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: you're you're never gonna know until we get sloppy then 748 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,560 Speaker 1: everybody knows, Like you see me at the Learmitage. Obviously 749 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 1: I got sloppy, you saw it. Didn't really know how 750 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,920 Speaker 1: to react. Um, you know. But again, this is a 751 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:39,240 Speaker 1: thing that is affecting everybody, whether it's affecting you directly 752 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,720 Speaker 1: or you know someone that is suffering from a mental 753 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,439 Speaker 1: health concern. You know. But again I'm glad it's not 754 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:49,239 Speaker 1: under the freaking rug anymore. This week, you know, we're 755 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,600 Speaker 1: gonna be working with On our Sleeves, which is an 756 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:57,520 Speaker 1: amazing organization UH to tackle children's mental health. Yes. Like, 757 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 1: here's the thing about that is that you're a parent. 758 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,719 Speaker 1: You're a parent. I'm a parent. Everything starts at home. 759 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:08,160 Speaker 1: I believe that one trillion how you raise your kids 760 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,120 Speaker 1: will set them up for as well as their teachers, 761 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,640 Speaker 1: people that they idolize, that that they respect, That is 762 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: going to set them up for either failure or set 763 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 1: them up for success. And in more ways than one, 764 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 1: I'm so glad that I am an addict so that 765 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: I could share with my kids the horror stories of 766 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,640 Speaker 1: what I've been through and hopefully put the fear of 767 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,399 Speaker 1: God in them. Now, Look, they're gonna take their own path, 768 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,080 Speaker 1: and I will support them whatever that is, and I 769 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,839 Speaker 1: will be there to catch them when they fall. That's 770 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,399 Speaker 1: what a good father does. But if I could help 771 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 1: them dodge a couple of bullets along the way, I'm 772 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,799 Speaker 1: gonna do whatever I can. I'm a helicopter dad. There's 773 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,919 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. I am gonna admit that right now. 774 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,120 Speaker 1: Like even even being in an open field, I'm like, 775 00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:01,400 Speaker 1: stop running. You just want to protect or so but 776 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:05,719 Speaker 1: I'm so bad. I'm so bad. And you know, kids 777 00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 1: are resilient. Like if they fall off the couch, it's 778 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,880 Speaker 1: a scrape. If we fall off the couch, we're in 779 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,400 Speaker 1: the hospital for like a week. And it's like God, 780 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 1: now when those airs, the songs for tomorrow would have 781 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 1: already happened, you know last Wednesday. Um, you know Aaron 782 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,959 Speaker 1: Carter obviously was very close with you. I'm sure felt 783 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:29,360 Speaker 1: like your own little brother. Um, what what would you 784 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,279 Speaker 1: like to come out of a tragedy like this? You know, 785 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,600 Speaker 1: what conversation should we be having? I think the conversation 786 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:44,840 Speaker 1: that should be being had is again, um, kind of 787 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,800 Speaker 1: piggybacking on what you were saying. If you know someone 788 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,320 Speaker 1: is hurting and you can see it playing his day 789 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,799 Speaker 1: say something, don't don't stay mute about it. Even if 790 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,839 Speaker 1: they fight you on it. At least it gives them 791 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,480 Speaker 1: an opportunity to see that there's someone there that actually 792 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:07,720 Speaker 1: sees them, that cares about them. Now, whether they accept 793 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,840 Speaker 1: the help or not, who knows. I mean, he reached 794 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 1: out to me years back and asked for help, and 795 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:21,000 Speaker 1: I willingly was like, Okay, this is what I suggest 796 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,640 Speaker 1: you do. You need to fly out here. You need 797 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,839 Speaker 1: to go to this treatment center that I called. I've 798 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,759 Speaker 1: got it all set up for you. And he wasn't 799 00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:34,360 Speaker 1: gonna come. He did, got a car service form, he 800 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:38,080 Speaker 1: got to the treatment center, he checked in, he told 801 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 1: them I don't want anyone to be able to contact 802 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:44,279 Speaker 1: me except for him. And two days later he checked 803 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:49,239 Speaker 1: himself out and four days after that put me on 804 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,600 Speaker 1: blast all over Twitter, saying that I was doing it 805 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,720 Speaker 1: to glorify myself, which is not true. That's but that's 806 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,240 Speaker 1: what addicts do. We if we're not ready to get sober, 807 00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,680 Speaker 1: it's you. You're you're the fault. You're you're at fault. 808 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 1: It's you. It's not me, You're the problem. Um, But uh, 809 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: you know, can I say that I'm shocked? No, sadly. 810 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:19,279 Speaker 1: Did any of us want this? Hell, no, it's it's 811 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,840 Speaker 1: just it's just tragic. It's just tragic. It's tragic. You 812 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,440 Speaker 1: feel helpless because you know, I got close with him. 813 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,959 Speaker 1: I hosted a tour, you know, a couple of years ago. 814 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,640 Speaker 1: He was on that tour, and it seemed like he 815 00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,480 Speaker 1: was doing so well, right it was it wasn't where 816 00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,640 Speaker 1: he was doing really well, and then like halfway through 817 00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,960 Speaker 1: the tour you could tell, like, Okay, he's definitely huffing again, 818 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 1: and you know, there's just something wrong. He wanted he 819 00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 1: kept coming me because of the Luke promon documentaries like 820 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,080 Speaker 1: I want to do a doc I want to talk 821 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,520 Speaker 1: about my addiction and all this. I was like, Wow, 822 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,120 Speaker 1: that's so great that he wants to expose that, and 823 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,799 Speaker 1: I thought that would be so great for him to 824 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 1: reflect on what he's been through and kind of see 825 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 1: it like, oh my gosh, I because in the documentary 826 00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,880 Speaker 1: that we did, he wasn't in his right mind like 827 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,719 Speaker 1: it was. That was the first time I ever saw 828 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,280 Speaker 1: him and said, oh, he he has a major problem 829 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 1: right now. Um. And we all tried to do whatever 830 00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:11,400 Speaker 1: we could, but like you said, unless you unless you 831 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,319 Speaker 1: want it, you're not gonna do it. And I mean 832 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 1: I've even seen buddies of mind that were cord ordered 833 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,799 Speaker 1: and they still can't get it. I mean, it's some 834 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:25,160 Speaker 1: people have to lose everything or unfortunately lose their own life, which, 835 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:32,280 Speaker 1: as as horrible as it is to say, hopefully helps 836 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:38,920 Speaker 1: another life. Um, you know, to not go to that point. Um, 837 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,560 Speaker 1: you know, that's in the twelve step program that I'm in. 838 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,800 Speaker 1: That's what the final step is is being of service 839 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,839 Speaker 1: helping other alcoholics, helping other addicts, and just being of 840 00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:55,080 Speaker 1: service being a stand up member of society. And you know, 841 00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,239 Speaker 1: I'm not the smartest, sharpest tack in the freaking shed. 842 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:02,280 Speaker 1: I get that. It's fine, But if my life experiences 843 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,360 Speaker 1: can be shared with another human being, there's gonna be 844 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 1: there's gonna be some kind of mirrored effect between me 845 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,760 Speaker 1: and any other addict. We've all been through the same 846 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:15,399 Speaker 1: ship period, just different levels of it. If I can 847 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,080 Speaker 1: help another addict by sharing my story and walking them 848 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:21,160 Speaker 1: through the same program that I'm being walked through, then great, 849 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: you know, but again you have to be willing to 850 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,520 Speaker 1: want to do that. You know, Some people like you know, 851 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 1: Jordan's you know, quit cold Turkey, just cold Turkey, never 852 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,040 Speaker 1: been to a meeting, never done anything that, just quit 853 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,000 Speaker 1: cold Turkey. And he's been sober for god knows how 854 00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:40,040 Speaker 1: many years now. You know that is for some people. 855 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:46,439 Speaker 1: That works for me. No, I need structure to help facilitate, 856 00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:51,400 Speaker 1: to help me find me. You know. I love that 857 00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 1: you're talking about this. I know people listening right now, 858 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 1: are you know, really relating? Okay, so let's just hold 859 00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,719 Speaker 1: right here. Actually, this looks like it's gonna be a 860 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,080 Speaker 1: WHO partner, so we will come back and release part 861 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,480 Speaker 1: two this week. Yeah, we're going along all right, So 862 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,279 Speaker 1: we have so much to talk about. Still, We'll see 863 00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,960 Speaker 1: you for part two in a couple of days. Hey, 864 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 1: thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at Frost the 865 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,160 Speaker 1: Tips with Lance and Michael Tears in art and at 866 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,960 Speaker 1: Lance Bass for all your pop culture needs, and make 867 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,759 Speaker 1: sure to write us a review and leave us five 868 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,960 Speaker 1: stars six if you can see you next time,