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Speaker 1: Hello, hey man, what's your name.

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Speaker 2: My name's Walter.

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Speaker 1: I'm Walter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a twenty nine year old male within the

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Speaker 2: Northern Idaho.

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Speaker 3: A twenty nine year old male living in Northern Idaho. Hot,

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Speaker 3: very hot. What's up man, how's it going. What'd you

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Speaker 3: want to talk about today?

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Speaker 2: Well, I just wanted to tell a little bit in

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Speaker 2: my story. Started using drugs around about the age of

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Speaker 2: twelve and had some pretty crazy times and got really

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Speaker 2: really bad. But I had an awakening. I was probably

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Speaker 2: about twenty years old, and I was at this house

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Speaker 2: in the best room that they had to offer me

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Speaker 2: was a room full of dog shit and dog piss,

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Speaker 2: and it was like the middle of winter and there

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Speaker 2: was no heating and cold air was like hitting me

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Speaker 2: on the face, and I was like laying there high

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Speaker 2: and I was just like, oh, yeah, this isn't so bad.

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Speaker 2: And then I stayed up for about seven days and

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Speaker 2: had a really intense hallucination where I argued with this

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Speaker 2: large creature on the side of a wall, and that

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Speaker 2: night I decided that I was completely done. Got sober

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Speaker 2: within three months. I went to college and now I'm

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Speaker 2: working on my master's degree trying to become a professor.

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Speaker 2: So I guess I just wanted to share with people

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Speaker 2: that you know, it's not impossible to do what you

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Speaker 2: want and you're never too late.

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Speaker 1: So tell me more about this large creature. What kind

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Speaker 1: of creature was it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I did a lot of research into that

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Speaker 2: because I looked at life from a lot of different perspectives,

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Speaker 2: and the closest thing I'd come to was Carl Jung,

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Speaker 2: German psychologist. He talked about something called the dark Night

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Speaker 2: of the soul and it's something that everybody has inside

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Speaker 2: of them and that at one point in time you

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Speaker 2: have to confront this dark Night of the soul and

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Speaker 2: befriended essentially, because it's not really there to scare you,

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Speaker 2: but it's there to help you and you just have

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Speaker 2: to learn how to interact with it. So I kind

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Speaker 2: of took that away from that interaction and I've been

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Speaker 2: living with that ever since.

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Speaker 1: So interesting. So you're dark.

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Speaker 3: The dark Knight of the soul for you manifested itself

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Speaker 3: as a creature on your wall that you argued with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was you know, it was death really trying

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Speaker 2: to tell me. So, the Dark Knight of the soul

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Speaker 2: is your subconscious. So my darkness of soul was telling

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Speaker 2: me that, hey, you know this is this has gone

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Speaker 2: so very far, and he's like, you know, you just

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Speaker 2: you need to stop, like you're going to die very

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Speaker 2: very soon if you don't. And I almost died two

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Speaker 2: or three times before and I still didn't wake up.

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Speaker 2: So that's kind of what it had to come to.

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Speaker 3: I guess now, the dark night of the soul, once

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Speaker 3: you make peace with it, does it go away or

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Speaker 3: do you know, nine years later, still make a stay

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Speaker 3: in contact with the dark knight of your soul.

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I know, I've definitely made peace with it over time.

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Speaker 2: The only trouble that I have sometimes is I take

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Speaker 2: some medication for PTSD, and if I get a lack

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Speaker 2: of sleep and I'm very stressed, I'll tend to see

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Speaker 2: the figure kind of darting through corridors or past doorways,

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Speaker 2: or I'll think I'll see it standing in the corner

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Speaker 2: of a room, and it's kind of, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: kind of there to tell me like, hey, you know

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Speaker 2: you're headed in this direction again, maybe you should stop.

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Speaker 3: So this is interest because all right, when I think

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Speaker 3: of the dark Night of the soul and a creature

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Speaker 3: on your wall. It sounds like you and the screen

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Speaker 3: like I guess I thought I think of like a

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Speaker 3: nefarious being, But it sounds to me like this creature

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Speaker 3: is like you guys are. I'll say, it sounds like

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Speaker 3: you guys are maybe frenemies, your frenemies with the Dark

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Speaker 3: Knight of your soul.

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Speaker 2: Well, Carl Jung says that everybody has this inside of them.

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Speaker 2: It's something that we all must face it some time.

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Speaker 2: And everybody's night looks different. You know, somebody might have

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Speaker 2: an eating disorder, or has trouble buying too many Pokemon cards,

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Speaker 2: or really loves McDonald's or whatever.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be an extreme, as you know,

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Speaker 2: being a drug addict.

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Speaker 3: So that would be crazy if the Dark Knight of

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Speaker 3: your Soul was mewtwo and he had to tell you

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Speaker 3: to stop buying mewtwoe Pokemon cards.

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Speaker 1: So hm hm, So so do you still so?

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Speaker 3: When you take medication for your PTSD, occasionally the hallucinations

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Speaker 3: will will pop back up, that is correct.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And is that distress for you or is that

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Speaker 1: a kind of reminder for you?

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Speaker 2: I think it's a little bit of both. I definitely

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Speaker 2: feel like I crawled so dark and deep into a

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Speaker 2: place that I almost see it as like a scar

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Speaker 2: and something that I have to live with for the

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Speaker 2: rest of my life. Possibly, So.

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Speaker 3: M all right, So I want to hear this because

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Speaker 3: you know, you said you wanted to come on and talk.

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Speaker 1: About this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Uh, sort of as a way of letting people know

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Speaker 3: that you know you you can never be too far gone,

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Speaker 3: which I actually I think is a really great to

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Speaker 3: take away. So tell me you're twenty, You're sleeping in

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Speaker 3: dog piss, you have an argument with a creature on

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Speaker 3: your wall, and you wake up the next morning and

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Speaker 3: you go, Okay, I'm done.

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Speaker 1: I'm turning my life around.

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Speaker 3: What's the first couple of days of that look like

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Speaker 3: for you?

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Speaker 2: My mother let me come back to my to my

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Speaker 2: childhood house, and I stayed in my room. In the

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Speaker 2: first two days, I had these really nasty hallucinations that

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Speaker 2: I would see in the glass and in the glass

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Speaker 2: that covered my light bulb, and I saw like people

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Speaker 2: dancing and pointing at me and laughing. And I guess

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Speaker 2: at some point in time, I got a hold of

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Speaker 2: a pair of tonail clippers, and I didn't realize that

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Speaker 2: I just kept clipping my toenails over and over and

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Speaker 2: over again and essentially mutilated my toes. And after about

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Speaker 2: a week that kind of died down, and then a

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Speaker 2: couple of weeks in I was able to kind of function. Essentially,

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Speaker 2: my brain chemistry was pretty out of whack.

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Speaker 3: And I guess what would you say it was the

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Speaker 3: turning point for you? When was you know, it sounded

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Speaker 3: like things had to get a little crazy before they

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Speaker 3: got better, Right, what would you say, is the day

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Speaker 3: or the moment or even even if there's not a

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Speaker 3: day or a moment. And you know, as it typically

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Speaker 3: is a gradual process of ups and downs, but do

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Speaker 3: you have something that you point to as like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: this is this is where we start to go on

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Speaker 3: a on a more positive track.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was just I think I think it was

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Speaker 2: just accumulation over time of just a loss of control.

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Speaker 2: I really felt that I had absolutely no control over

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Speaker 2: my thoughts or my actions or whatever direction I was

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Speaker 2: taking in life. And I think it just built up

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Speaker 2: over time, you know, Like I said earlier, I even

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Speaker 2: I almost died once in front of my mother and

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Speaker 2: then once at another person in a car accident, and

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Speaker 2: I was still like, ah, no, this is this is okay.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm still living a pretty good life. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: so it's kind of interesting, I think, Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I think I've always believed in some

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Speaker 2: sort of supernatural and I want to believe that it's

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Speaker 2: out there and trying to help us. So I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I was just disregarding everybody else in my

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Speaker 2: life and now that I've made some sort of contact

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Speaker 2: with an entity that I've been looking for, you know,

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Speaker 2: hoping would be real. It's like I wish aliens were real.

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Speaker 2: I wish they would just land already.

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Speaker 5: Or something stupid like that.

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Speaker 2: I've just always been a person that I'm ready for

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Speaker 2: the world to be shooken up. Like I don't believe

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Speaker 2: it's flattered, But if it's flat, that was pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: So you said, if the world were just splat, that

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Speaker 1: would be cool.

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Speaker 2: No, if the world was flat, Oh, if.

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Speaker 1: The world was flat? Yeah? You ever think about that?

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Speaker 3: Like, do you does any what is there any part

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Speaker 3: of your brain that would accept that idea that the

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Speaker 3: Earth is flat?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean think if you look back in time,

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Speaker 2: you know, people used to think that the world was

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Speaker 2: the center of the universe and that people who said

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Speaker 2: that wasn't true or said that wasn't true, you know,

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Speaker 2: they were prosecuted and some of them were killed. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if the world is flat, but if it is,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, hell, yeah, you know, fucking twenty twenty four

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Speaker 2: will be crazy.

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Speaker 3: I'm with not I'm with you on that. I think

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Speaker 3: it's always. I think, no matter what it's, it's good

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Speaker 3: to keep an open mind. I think it's good to

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Speaker 3: keep an open mind to facts. Oh, now I sound

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Speaker 3: like one of those podcasters. I think it's good to

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Speaker 3: keep an open mind to facts. You know, if someone

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Speaker 3: tells you the sky is blue, it it could be orange.

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Speaker 1: She gives a shit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I want to know this.

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Speaker 1: Well, how long you been cleaned for.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty nine, so it's been eight years.

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Speaker 3: Nice man, Tell me some of the things that fill

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Speaker 3: your life in the places that that drugs used to.

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Speaker 2: Oh. I fell deeply into making art, so I'm becoming

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Speaker 2: a a professor of fine arts and painting. And I

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Speaker 2: spent I spent thousands and thousands of hours drawing and

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Speaker 2: painting and making collages and sculptures and printmaking and ceramics,

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Speaker 2: and I just let it consume me. When I met

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Speaker 2: my wife, I told her that I, uh I had

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Speaker 2: a second girlfriend, and she laughed at me, and I

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Speaker 2: told her that her name was art and all the

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Speaker 2: over time she learned that that was very true.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, have you ever I would love to see this

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Speaker 3: if you have? Have you ever painted the night of

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Speaker 3: you arguing with the creature?

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Speaker 2: Uh? No, I've.

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Speaker 1: I've always been very afraid too interesting.

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Speaker 2: I've made a lot of I've made a lot of

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Speaker 2: paintings and some very dark ones, but no, I've never

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Speaker 2: been able to paint that.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask why I come off.

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Speaker 2: As like a pretty normal guy, Like I'm a very

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Speaker 2: typical looking, like Idaho guy to wear cowboy booths, that beard,

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Speaker 2: I wear short hair jeans, you know. But there's this

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Speaker 2: whole other site to me that I guess I just

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Speaker 2: don't really feel like sharing with a lot of people

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Speaker 2: because I I don't think that they'll understand, and I

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Speaker 2: don't really want to take that time to explain interesting.

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Speaker 3: So you feel like that painting it would be a

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Speaker 3: bit too personal for you to have out there in

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Speaker 3: the world.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's just well, it's just like would

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Speaker 2: a catching attraction. I mean, maybe you know, but I

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Speaker 2: mean there's a mod of different types of art where

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Speaker 2: people have some sort of spooky creature on the wall

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Speaker 2: or behind them. It's been done for thousands of years,

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Speaker 2: so it's just kind of like a moment for myself.

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Speaker 2: I guess that I don't really have to manifest in

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Speaker 2: some sort of physical form.

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Speaker 3: See, I'm only asking because when you say that you're

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Speaker 3: arguing with a creature on your wall, I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: imagine what creature it is. And maybe I'm maybe I'm

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Speaker 3: biased to this, but I am imagining it as a

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Speaker 3: giant lizard.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's very interesting that you say that. No, I'm

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Speaker 2: glad you said that, because, yeah, it takes on a

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Speaker 2: part of it is a lizard or a dragon or

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Speaker 2: whatever you want to call it. And yeah, there's I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's many reasons for that, but that would take an

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Speaker 2: hour to explain all that. So yeah, there, your your

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Speaker 2: intuition is correct.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: I specifically imagine it looking like Rango. Have you ever

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Speaker 3: seen the movie Rango?

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Speaker 2: No, not quite like Rango. I mean it would be

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Speaker 2: a lot more a lot more comic release as it was.

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Speaker 3: So you have a tell me about your family. Now,

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Speaker 3: are you still close with your mom and your dad?

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Speaker 2: I'm close with my mother. There. I met my father

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Speaker 2: last year for the first time, and I spent the

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Speaker 2: two months last two months of his life with him.

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Speaker 1: So wow, yeah, you met him, and you met him,

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Speaker 1: you met him when he was dying.

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Speaker 2: That is correct. He reached out to me and I

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Speaker 2: got to meet him, and I looked exactly like him

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Speaker 2: and we had the same exact likes. So there's definitely

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Speaker 2: that nature over nurture thing. It was kind of interesting

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Speaker 2: to see because I definitely was a lot like him.

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Speaker 1: How did you feel when he reached out to you.

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Speaker 2: I was very upset initially, Yeah, I was. I was

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Speaker 2: very angry and I wanted to say a lot of

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Speaker 2: mean things. But by the time I got there, I

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Speaker 2: was kind of all dissipated after seeing him, and you know,

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Speaker 2: he was he was very sick.

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Speaker 1: Mhm. Do you feel like.

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Speaker 3: You had a significant shift in perspective after spending those

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Speaker 3: last two months with him, and if so, how would

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Speaker 3: you describe that shift.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The biggest shift in perspective I would say is that,

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Speaker 2: you know, my mother, who raised me, essentially sent me

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Speaker 2: a narrative for very long and I got to see

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Speaker 2: the other side of that narrative and kind of saw

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Speaker 2: where things overlapped and where things didn't. And so now

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Speaker 2: my relationship with my mother is slightly different, not in

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Speaker 2: a negative way.

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Speaker 4: But.

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Speaker 2: I approach her and much more mature in manner. I guess.

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Speaker 3: You were saying, and I cut you off because I

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Speaker 3: wanted to ask you more about your father, but you

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Speaker 3: were saying your mother, your father, and there was something

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Speaker 3: else you were going to say.

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Speaker 1: I believe, Oh, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I just had my well, I had my father, I

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Speaker 2: had my mother, and my sister and my grandmother. That's

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Speaker 2: feeling family that I have.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: What's what's the deal with the sister and the grandma?

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Speaker 3: Are you close with them?

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Speaker 2: My grandmother is from she's from Old World Austria, so

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Speaker 2: she has a very particular view on the world that's

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Speaker 2: not not liked by most. And my sister she's she's whatever.

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Speaker 2: She has a lot going on too, she has a

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Speaker 2: lot of psychological issues. But yeah, and then my mother,

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Speaker 2: she's a psychologist.

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Speaker 1: Out of all the things, your mother's a psychologist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is correct.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when you when you were a kid, when you

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Speaker 3: were twenty, when you were twenty and you said to

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Speaker 3: her that you were arguing with a creature on your wall.

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Speaker 3: What did she say to you? I guess did she

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Speaker 3: have a psycho just point of view on that.

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Speaker 2: No, because I've been I've been saying wild things to

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Speaker 2: her ever since I was very, very young. It started

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Speaker 2: when I was about about like six or seven. I

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Speaker 2: used to know sleep at night time, and I would

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Speaker 2: stay up all night long, and I was just terrified.

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Speaker 2: And I would go downstairs in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: night and I would look in the mirror and I

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Speaker 2: would touch my face because I couldn't understand what I

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Speaker 2: was and I didn't I didn't know what I was

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Speaker 2: looking at. So I tried to expect that to my

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Speaker 2: mom as a child, and she didn't really understand. And

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Speaker 2: as I got older, just more weird things started happening,

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Speaker 2: and I just kind of became more withdrawing.

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Speaker 1: So how long you've been with your girlfriend for?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm married now. I've been with her for five

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Speaker 2: and a half years.

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Speaker 1: Oh, your master, she's your wife.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, we got married a year and a half ago.

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Speaker 3: Maztov, thank you very much. Did you invite the lizard

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Speaker 3: creature to the wedding.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to invite him. He's always with me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet he would give a hell of a

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Speaker 1: best man speech.

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Speaker 2: He probably would. He's definitely seen me when most people haven't,

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Speaker 2: So I just my wife never has to meet him.

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Speaker 3: Are you guys, Are you guys planning on having kids

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Speaker 3: or anything like that, Like, what's what is your what

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Speaker 3: is your plan for the future.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we would love to have kids, but unfortunately my

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Speaker 2: wife can't have kids, and so we have to look

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Speaker 2: at the idea of adoption, which cool will probably happen

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Speaker 2: in your future.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're you are currently a professor of fine art.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm getting close. I'm completing my master's degree right now.

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Speaker 2: Then the next step is professor.

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Speaker 3: Now, when people take your classt's say, I'm a bright eyed,

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Speaker 3: soft tongued art student boy and I come into your class. Uh,

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Speaker 3: my brain ready to soak in your wisdom. What would

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Speaker 3: you say is the the ideology or main idea or

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Speaker 3: a thesis that you want to install into people through

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Speaker 3: your teaching of the of the arts.

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Speaker 2: That's a really good question, Thank you. I want to

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Speaker 2: say it in few words as possible, because I could

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Speaker 2: definitely ramble, But the basics of it would be to

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Speaker 2: you know, explore many many different perspectives, even ones that

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Speaker 2: might bother you in some way or form, but also

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Speaker 2: to remember that you're human and to be humbled by

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Speaker 2: that experience. So, no matter what sort of fame or recognition,

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Speaker 2: you get to kind of grasp the idea that this

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Speaker 2: moment is a blipping time and that we're here for

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Speaker 2: everyone around us and just not ourselves. M I like that, man,

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: What do you have any art projects coming up on

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Speaker 3: a personal level that that you're excited about that you

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Speaker 3: want to talk about or or yeah, anything like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm currently painting a bunch of landscapes with

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Speaker 2: really pretty clouds at sunset time for a gallery in

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Speaker 2: southern Idaho.

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Speaker 3: Very nice, you know. I'm actually I'm seeing a few

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Speaker 3: questions in the chat. A few people in the chat

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Speaker 3: want to want to talk to you about. So does

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Speaker 3: anyone in the chat have any ques questions? I see

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00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 3: one off the bat and chat. You can feel free

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Speaker 3: to ask some questions.

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Speaker 1: I'll pick some.

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00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 3: But somebody says, hey, GEK, can you ask how this

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Speaker 3: guy keeps going despite his struggles?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really tough one. I think my curiosity

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Speaker 2: of being alive outweighs my fear of the unknown. I

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00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 2: have to stop myself sometimes because I'll have an existential

364
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Speaker 2: crisis about every five minutes just looking at the profoundness

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Speaker 2: of everything. It can be very overwhelming, from you know,

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Speaker 2: a door to a cat to a person to quantum

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Speaker 2: physics and space X and you know it just you know,

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00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: it just snowballs from there. But I'm an extremely curious person,

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Speaker 2: very very curious.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like if you're making art, you got to

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Speaker 3: stay curious or else you'll just, you know, pump it

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Speaker 3: out like it's content.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever look at your art as content?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So the clouds and sunsets that I'm making, I

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Speaker 2: call it prairie porn because everybody in Idaho. Everybody in

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Speaker 2: Idaho likes fields and sunsets and barns. So yeah, it

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Speaker 2: sells really well.

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Speaker 3: Somebody says, question, I am twenty two, and I have

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Speaker 3: a very similar lived experience. I am in Idaho as well,

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Speaker 3: and I wonder if it's good for our mental health.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if that's that. I don't actually think

383
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Speaker 3: that's a question. I think the I don't know If

384
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 3: that's a question, I think the question might be, is

385
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Speaker 3: living in Idaho good for your mental health?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I absolutely love living in Idaho. I hunt

387
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 2: and I fish, and I forage for the different berries

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Speaker 2: and plums and apples throughout the time of the year.

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Speaker 2: And it's a very grounding experience for people who suffer

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Speaker 2: from anxiety or PTS or depression. Nature has a very

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Speaker 2: chilling quality.

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Speaker 3: I like that because I would have thought that moving

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Speaker 3: to Idaho, and I'm sorry, but i would have initially

394
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Speaker 3: thought that moving to Idaho would be the cause of depression.

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Speaker 3: But now I'm glad to hear that it is. It

396
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 3: is cured your depression. That actually is a really cool

397
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Speaker 3: life that you're living. Man, You're fucking forging for berries

398
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 3: and hunting barefoot and doing that is pretty cool. That

399
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 3: is pretty cool. I wish I wish I could do

400
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Speaker 3: all that stuff.

401
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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I guess the things that I'm doing

402
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 2: are just are what's accessible to me. So depending on

403
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 2: your geographical placement, you know, everybody has different accessibilities. You know,

404
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 2: whether you live in a city or a small town,

405
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 2: or next to the ocean or in the desert, you know,

406
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 2: everybody has something unique that they can interact with.

407
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Speaker 3: It's also I think Idaho's where Napoleon Dynamite was filmed,

408
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 3: So that's that correct.

409
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Speaker 2: Yeah, my painting professor was from that town.

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Speaker 1: All right, We've got one more.

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Speaker 3: Who are the people who inspire you the most?

412
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Speaker 2: I would say, uh, Leonardo da Vinci, Carl Young, uh J. F. Kennedy,

413
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: Albert Einstein, Salvador Dali, Martin Luzu King Junior, and maybe

414
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Speaker 2: my mother.

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00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 3: That's sweet, man, that's really sweet, you know. Okay, I

416
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Speaker 3: have I have a final question, And if you're not

417
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 3: comfortable with this, that's totally fine, but I appreciate you

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00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 3: telling your story. I think you're a pretty cool guy

419
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Speaker 3: and I personally would love to check out some of

420
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 3: your your paintings and some of your work. Do you

421
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 3: have a website or an Instagram or anything where like

422
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 3: people who heard this and think that and also think

423
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 3: that you're a cool guy and want to hear want

424
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 3: to see your stuff, anything that we can check out.

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00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do have a website, so it's Joseph Jeroski

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Speaker 2: art dot com. J O S E. S j A

427
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 2: r O s k i art dot com.

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00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: Great do you are? Is that your Instagram? Too.

429
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: Most I feel like websites, I'm in them. Do you

430
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 3: do you Instagram at all?

431
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 5: No?

432
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I I I shy away from social media.

433
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Speaker 1: You know what.

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Speaker 3: That's for the best. That's for the best. There's a

435
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 3: there are a lot of dark knights on social media

436
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,159
Speaker 3: to avoid.

437
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: Give me that, give me that. What spell that out

438
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: for me one more time?

439
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So it's Joseph j O. S E. S

440
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 2: j A R O s k i art dot com,

441
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 2: Joseph Geroski art dot com.

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Speaker 3: Beautiful Joseph. Thank you very very much. I'm sorry I

443
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 3: doxed you. I know you started this as Walter, but

444
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 3: I hope that's is that cool?

445
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, thank you get I I I appreciate this.

446
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 2: It's uh, it's been a very profound experience that I'll

447
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: like the list of the rest of them.

448
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 3: Anything else you want to say to the people of

449
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 3: the computer before.

450
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: We go, remember to love yourself.

451
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, Walter. Having the rest of the night,

452
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 3: it is back leaving that. That was really cool. I

453
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: really enjoyed talking to that guy that that. Honestly, that

454
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 3: was one of my favorite conversations I've had on this

455
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 3: podcast in a long time. Like I was super cool,

456
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 3: super humble. I'm excited to check out his paintings. Uh, folks,

457
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 3: if you're listening to this, go check out his paintings.

458
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm I I.

459
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 3: I haven't I'm gonna I'm gonna take a look myself

460
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 3: once I'm once I'm out of here recording this. But yeah,

461
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 3: that was a great story. I like I I do

462
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 3: love the general message that you aren't you. You can

463
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 3: never ever be too far gone, that you cannot return

464
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 3: to a place of of prosperity in life and personal

465
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 3: achievement and all that stuff, no matter how much dog

466
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 3: pissed or lying in. So shout out to Walter for

467
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 3: being the living proof of that, and also shout out

468
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 3: to Walter for giving me a new personal goal, which

469
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 3: is to be the creature on somebody's wall that they

470
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 3: are arguing with during an episode. So if anyone is

471
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 3: looking for scary lizards to haunt their dreams, please reach

472
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: out to me.

473
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: Hey, folks, this is Lyle.

474
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,479
Speaker 3: I am very excited to announce that I am going

475
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 3: back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy

476
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 3: Gecko live all across the country. If you've never been

477
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 3: to one of my live shows, before. They're basically like

478
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 3: giant group gecko therapy sessions where people from the audience

479
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 3: come on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever

480
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 3: they want, just like we do right here on the podcast.

481
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 3: Plus I mix in a few stories and presentations and

482
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 3: little tidbits from my own life. Tickets are available right

483
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: now at therapy geckotour dot com, or you can find

484
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: the link in the episode description. I'm announcing many more

485
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 3: cities in the second half of the year, but right

486
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 3: now tickets are on sale. Four Phoenix, Arizona, Louisville, Kentucky,

487
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 3: Saint Louis, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Miami, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts, Denver, Colorado, Syracuse,

488
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 3: New York, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Las Vegas, Nevada,

489
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 3: Salt Lake City, Utah, Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,

490
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 3: San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

491
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 3: And you can get tickets for all of those cities

492
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 3: at therapy geckotour dot com. If you didn't hear me

493
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 3: say your city, you can still go to the link

494
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 3: and hit the RSVP button to get notified for when

495
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 3: I do come to your city in the second half

496
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 3: of the year. This is my third tour so far,

497
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 3: and I think it's going to be sick, so I

498
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 3: hope to see you there.

499
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: Thanks.

500
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 4: Hello.

501
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: What's your name?

502
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 4: John?

503
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: John? What's up? What's going on?

504
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 3: What's up?

505
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 4: Man? You know, just uh, just living.

506
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 1: What you want to talk about today, Well, I.

507
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 4: Really just want to talk about how I'm really addicted

508
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 4: to porn. HM just can't ever stop watching it every

509
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 4: single night, every single day. Probably jerk off three times a.

510
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: Day, Holy shows three times a day. Addicted, Well, three

511
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: is a short day, I'm oh.

512
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: I mean, you know I've had I've had several three

513
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 3: timer days myself.

514
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: So I guess does that make you addicted?

515
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 4: Well, I mean I don't know if you would put

516
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 4: it addicted. I mean three times a day, four, sometimes five.

517
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 5: You know.

518
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 3: Here's what I've found is I typically typically when I'm

519
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: jerking off three times a day, it's because I'm not

520
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: doing anything, you know, like, what do you what do

521
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 3: you do all day?

522
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: Because if you've got the trick, the trick is to live.

523
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 3: A life where you don't have time to jerk off

524
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 3: three times a day or like you know, you go

525
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 3: to work at a coffee shop or something, because then

526
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 3: you can't well I guess you theoretically can't, but you'd

527
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 3: get arrested.

528
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 4: Right right. It's not like I'm I'm lazy. I have

529
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 4: a job, I go to the gym every day, and

530
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 4: I just still have fine time at work on my

531
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 4: break in the bathroom. After that, I'll go. If I'm

532
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 4: at a restaurant for more than an hour, I'll go

533
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 4: to the bathroom in a restaurant. Yeah, it's not just

534
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 4: at home, and at home as well, I mean every night.

535
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 3: Are you excusing yourself from like family dinners did talk off?

536
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, every once in a while.

537
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: So let's get all right, why do you think you're

538
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: doing this?

539
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 4: Well, I don't have a girlfriend, and I think even

540
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 4: if I did, even when I did, I would still

541
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 4: jerk off multiple times a day, Okay, and no matter

542
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 4: if I had sex or not, it was just the

543
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 4: dopamine release is just too much. Yeah.

544
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you stressed?

545
00:30:54,920 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 4: Stressed every once? Everyone's stressed, right, Yeah? Sure, I just

546
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 4: want to find a way to slow down or limit

547
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 4: myself from four to five times a day to maybe

548
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 4: one or less.

549
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: You're addicted to the dopamine release. Well, okay, so it's funny, right,

550
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: because this is a problem. I've started to learn this,

551
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 3: Like I've been listening to this guy, Andrew Huberman, and

552
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 3: he really makes my podcast look like a first grader

553
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 3: made it. Because your problem, it could actually be solved

554
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 3: through like the scientific method, and someone could explain, here's

555
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 3: why you were chasing this dopamine release, and you know,

556
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 3: here's ways to fulfill your desires with less as you

557
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 3: classified destructive behavior. I don't know how to do in

558
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 3: that stuff because I'm a gecko, but we can try.

559
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: What does anything give you the same feeling?

560
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 3: Like what releases positive feelings and dopamine in your brain?

561
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 3: For you?

562
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 4: Accomplishing hard tasks probably is number one. Doing things I

563
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 4: don't want to do. After you do them, of course

564
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 4: you feel so good about it and we're jerking off.

565
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 4: It's the fastest and easiest way possible. That's why I

566
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 4: do it so often.

567
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 3: Ah, I know, right, I know, it's like the classic

568
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 3: thing of any time. If I have like a difficult

569
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 3: task to do, or like a difficult day ahead of me,

570
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 3: I mean that's it, right is you want to just

571
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 3: you want to find the fastest way to release the

572
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: good chemicals in your brain, and that's what does it

573
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 3: exactly so, But I mean that's just another like a

574
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 3: way that we gotta we gotta overcome, no pun intended.

575
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 3: We got to overcome our tendency to overcome.

576
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 4: Well, what what advice would you give to stop or

577
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 4: or slow down?

578
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: Jesus man, I'm because it's not even peorn.

579
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 4: Sometimes I can just go in the bathroom if I'm

580
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 4: at a restaurant, it'll be listening to the guy in

581
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 4: who you're antle next to me, and uh, you know

582
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 4: they notice, but I just can't stop.

583
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing, right is I? This is more?

584
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: This is this is a difficult one because if for me,

585
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 3: I like I like I said, I find that the

586
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 3: more busy I am, the less I'm jerking off. So

587
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 3: I'm trying to find more ways to be busy. But

588
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 3: it sounds like to you, even when you are busy,

589
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 3: you will excuse yourself from your busy to go jerk off.

590
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: So it's like a busy isn't a problem.

591
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just the the compulsion of two hours have

592
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 4: gone by and it's edging at me, literally edging. But

593
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 4: I don't I bust every time.

594
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: Very cool. Do you have a therapist? You have a

595
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: real one?

596
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, I don't.

597
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: I'm curious what they would have to say about this.

598
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 3: I mean, I this is such a platitude. But like you,

599
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 3: I would fire you. I mean, look up online. Right,

600
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 3: There's gotta be something. There's gotta be some chemicals going

601
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 3: on in your brain that just need quick monkey hits

602
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: of dopamine that you just aren't getting.

603
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 1: I mean, all right, let me ask you this. Let

604
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: me ask you some questions. When you're at a restaurant

605
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: and you're going to go jerk off, who are you with?

606
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 1: What's what? Set the scene for me?

607
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 3: Set the scene right before you excuse yourself to the bathroom.

608
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 4: Okay, okay. The most recent time, three days ago, had

609
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 4: dinner with my grandparents. We were sitting there. We were

610
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 4: sitting there about ten twenty minutes in. Food hasn't come

611
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 4: out yet. I'm sitting there they you know, grandparents. Man,

612
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 4: No matter what you say, it's just so boring. So

613
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,399
Speaker 4: I'm waiting. I think, well, before my food comes out,

614
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 4: I can go get a bust.

615
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 3: In Okay, So this is a dinner that you're excusing

616
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 3: yourself from to go jerk off because the dinner is

617
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 3: not particularly engaging.

618
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 4: To you exactly.

619
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I'm gonna go ahead and say that

620
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: doesn't count. That doesn't count as an engaging activity. It

621
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 3: definitely counts as as jerking off. Okay, And then what

622
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 3: else are you? You're at work? Right, and I assume

623
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 3: it you're at work. I don't know if you like

624
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:21,959
Speaker 3: your job or not. Do you like your job?

625
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 4: Oh no, it's very boring.

626
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: Okay, So you're born because you're not you're busy with

627
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: like yeah, so you're busy. So you're you.

628
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 3: What I am hearing from you is that your life

629
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 3: as it is is not particularly stimulating, hanging out with

630
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 3: your grandparents and going to this job that you hate.

631
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 3: So in order to get doping, in order to get stimulation,

632
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: you you you jerk off five times a day.

633
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds sounds pretty right.

634
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: All right.

635
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 3: So the question is that this is no small question

636
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: to answer, and it is the question, and it's how

637
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: do you find how do you create a life that

638
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 3: is more stimulating for yourself so that you're not jacking off?

639
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:10,319
Speaker 3: Every five seconds.

640
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,720
Speaker 4: Well, I could find a job that I enjoyed better

641
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 4: and like going to, but I still think I would

642
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 4: excuse myself and find even create time for jerking off.

643
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you don't. But that's the thing, though, is

644
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 3: that you can find replacements for jerking off. Like, do

645
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 3: you know what the flow state is?

646
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 4: Uh? No.

647
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 3: The flow state is like the state of mind when

648
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 3: you're like doing an activity, and that could be like

649
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 3: working or having a conversation, or playing a sport or

650
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 3: anything like that, where you are fully engrossed in the activity. Right,

651
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 3: You're not thinking about anything else. You are fully present

652
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 3: and where you are, right, do you have anything in

653
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 3: your life that gets you into that place where you're

654
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: you're really.

655
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 4: Present the only thing on present in jerking off?

656
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, so well that's what we gotta do.

657
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: I I guess we gotta find something for you that

658
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 3: gets you as uh in the present.

659
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: And that's what we wan.

660
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 3: That's why orgasm feels so good. That's what all we want.

661
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 3: All we want is to be in the presence, whether

662
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 3: it's with people or with heroin, or with a sandwich

663
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 3: or with jerking off. All we want, all we want

664
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 3: as people is to just feel like we're actually fucking

665
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 3: here and we're not depressed about the past or anxious

666
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 3: about the future. We're fucking here, whether it's because we're

667
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 3: orgasming or or because when you're having lunch with your

668
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 3: with your grandparents, your head is in the clouds. You're

669
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 3: not here, You're in fucking space, and so to get

670
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 3: your head back down to Earth, you you jack off

671
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 3: because you're in your there. So so we just gotta

672
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: find like, what what's gonna get you back on planet

673
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 3: fucking Earth right, What's gonna make you feel like you're here?

674
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 3: And that could be hanging out with people who are

675
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 3: more interesting than your grandparents, so that you know, people

676
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 3: who don't literally bore you so much that you need

677
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 3: to go jack off, or a job that doesn't bore

678
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 3: you enough that you have to go jack off. Just

679
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 3: like what's gonna And I don't know, we're not gonna

680
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 3: answer this on the phone call unless if you have ideas.

681
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 3: But that's that's the that's my diagnosis to you is

682
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 3: find something that gets your head.

683
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: On the planet.

684
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 3: You know, that's why that's why you're jerking off so much,

685
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 3: just because it makes you feel here and presence. You know.

686
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:42,959
Speaker 1: That's why.

687
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 3: That's why, that's why I jerk off when I when

688
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 3: I get anxious, is because it it takes my brain

689
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 3: away from the future and away from the past and

690
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 3: right goddamn here in the orgasm. And that's why I

691
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: eat stuff that that that's bad for you is because

692
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 3: it takes your brain right away, just just in the presence.

693
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: So what what will get your brain in the present?

694
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 3: I don't know, but there are things and hopefully you

695
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 3: can figure them out.

696
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: I hope so as well.

697
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 3: What's what kind of porn do you watch? No, we

698
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 3: don't answer that. What's your name again?

699
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 1: John?

700
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 2: John?

701
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: John? It was this conversation of Eddie marginal help to you?

702
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 4: It could have helped.

703
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 3: What do I feel like you jacked off during the

704
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 3: whole time while I was talking to you? Don't play

705
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 3: this game with all right?

706
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: Anyway? All right, John?

707
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the

708
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go?

709
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 4: What do I say to the people love the computer?

710
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,439
Speaker 4: Jack off less? And uh, that's about it. I think

711
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,439
Speaker 4: I was edging the entire call.

712
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 3: So get the fuck out of here, get the fuck

713
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: out of he all right, Thanks John, God bless you.

714
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi there. What's your name? Yes, Hi, how are you? Oh,

715
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 1: I'm okay, how are you?

716
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 6: I'm good.

717
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 7: I'm actually shocked that you called me. This is my

718
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 7: first day trying to call. But I have been listening

719
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 7: to you for a while now. I started listening listening

720
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 7: on like Apple podcasts, but now I downloaded Twitch.

721
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: Cool cool cool.

722
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 3: Well, thanks for thanks for being here, Thanks for you know, look,

723
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 3: you didn't have to download all that crap, and you did,

724
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 3: and that's that's that's pretty cool. So I'm gonna call you.

725
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 3: I'm gonna call you Jessica. That's a fun name. That's

726
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 3: my dogs. It's my old dog's name. She's dead, she's

727
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 3: been dead for a while. She's not coming back. But

728
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 3: you're alive, and your name is Jessica. In terms of

729
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 3: the conversation, So, Jessica, what would you like to talk

730
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 3: about today?

731
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 5: Okay?

732
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 7: Well, what I text you about was I work at

733
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 7: a place that's pretty pretty competitive place to work at,

734
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 7: and it's a lot of opportunity for growth. That's the

735
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:23,919
Speaker 7: places I work at. I did meet a guy while

736
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 7: working here and we've been going out for a little

737
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 7: over a year. I've worked here for almost two years

738
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 7: and when we first got together. Sorry, I'm I'm nervous.

739
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 7: When we first got together here at work, which is

740
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 7: a terrible idea. Don't ever date anyone you work with, ever,

741
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 7: it's a bad idea.

742
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: But he did.

743
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 7: He was doing really really well here, you know, like

744
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 7: he had just gotten a promotion and he was like

745
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 7: really proud of himself and the job he did. Know,

746
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 7: And since we started dating, it seems like he's gotten

747
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 7: you know, like maybe kind of worse than his job

748
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 7: or just not happy doing his job that he's doing anymore.

749
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 7: And I've done very well, Like we just we just

750
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 7: got our like evaluations, you know, and I did fairly

751
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 7: well and he like buffed the whole year basically is

752
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 7: what they said.

753
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 4: Uh.

754
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 7: And he's worked here for long with than me, So

755
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 7: I feel extremely bad. But you know, and he also

756
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 7: kind of like hates on me sometimes when I when

757
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 7: he does see me doing well, and it's like very frustrating.

758
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 7: I don't know what to do.

759
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: You know, what is this job.

760
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,959
Speaker 7: I have? Ah? I can't really say because I find

761
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 7: paperwork saying that I wouldn't say. But it's not like

762
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 7: as crazy as you think. It's a It actually the

763
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 7: place I work at sponsors this your show. If that

764
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 7: gives you a slight hand, you.

765
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: Work at a place that sponsors my show.

766
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 7: Well, it's like one of the ads.

767
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 4: You know.

768
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, Well I don't know.

769
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 3: All right, well I'm not I'm not going to say

770
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: it unless if they're giving both of us a bunch

771
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:29,280
Speaker 3: of money, So I won't guess. But anyway, uh okay,

772
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: But anyway, So, I mean, so your boyfriend you okay, Well,

773
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 3: in the text that you sent me.

774
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 1: It said you have survivor's guilt. What does that mean?

775
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 1: What do you do your boyfriend get fired?

776
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 4: No?

777
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 7: But they've like told him multiple times like if you

778
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 7: don't picture ads to uh, you know, like they've written

779
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 7: him up and stuff. So it seems like that's the

780
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 7: way that it's headed for him, you know. And they're like, meanwhile,

781
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 7: they're telling me like, oh, you know, you should try

782
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 7: for a growth opportunity, you should interview for this, an

783
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 7: interview for that.

784
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: So but so so, Jessica, Jessica, I guess what I

785
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 1: don't understand is what does this have to do with you.

786
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 2: That I so guilty?

787
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,439
Speaker 7: And he constantly hates on me when I do good

788
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 7: at work and so it's like it's frustrating because we're

789
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,359
Speaker 7: extremely compatible outside of work, I feel, but then when

790
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 7: it comes to work, he's just like a fucking hater.

791
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: You said he hates Okay, he said he hates on you.

792
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 3: How does that manifest in what way? Does he hate

793
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 3: on you? Does he like, does he denigrade you? Does

794
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,240
Speaker 3: he like downplay your accomplishments?

795
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 7: No, never downplays my accomplishments. He's always like he's always

796
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 7: it's just like, uh, like passive aggressive bloats, you know

797
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 7: what I mean. Like I got a shout out for

798
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:43,880
Speaker 7: something the other day and he just became like, uh

799
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 7: he just like got quiet and like weird about it.

800
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 7: And then later in the day he was like, oh, like,

801
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 7: you know our management team so well, And I was like,

802
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 7: uh huh okay, Like he just like accuses me of

803
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 7: being best friends with them and like being like a

804
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 7: suck up or whatever.

805
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 5: You know.

806
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 3: Uh oh okay, So this this, this doesn't really look this.

807
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 3: I don't think this has much to do with the

808
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 3: fact that you work with this guy. And also, by

809
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 3: the way, this guy, if this guy sucks at his job,

810
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 3: that's not your fault, you know what I mean. It's

811
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 3: his it's his fucking it's not your fault that this

812
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 3: guy sucks at his job. Yeah, regardless of the fact,

813
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 3: even whether whether you work at the same job or not.

814
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: It's like, if you feel like this guy is like.

815
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 3: Resentful of you for being more successful than he is,

816
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 3: that's yeah, I mean I would say that that's probably

817
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,959
Speaker 3: not uh, I.

818
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 7: Will add, I will add he works like much closer

819
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 7: to our management than I do.

820
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 3: Okay, that doesn't That doesn't mean anything though that I don't.

821
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 3: I don't care about that. This is like has nothing

822
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 3: to do with you. The fact that you guys work together.

823
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 3: This is he could work at the fucking RB's and

824
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 3: you could work at the Taco bell and it doesn't

825
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 3: this does that doesn't matter. This is this is more

826
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 3: simple than that. Yeah, you know, is is this the

827
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 3: question of in your relationship with this person, do you.

828
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: Feel as though.

829
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 3: He is resent just it doesn't matter that you work

830
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 3: at the same place or not. He's he's when you're

831
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 3: like excited and happy about things, he's he's resentful towards.

832
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 7: You, right, Okay, Yeah, I guess I never really looked

833
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 7: at it like that, like how it would be if

834
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 7: we didn't work at the same place, and he acted

835
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 7: like this, you know, I just I've only ever looked

836
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 7: at it from the position that we're in.

837
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 2: I suppose you're.

838
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: You're twenty two, right, yeah, hald.

839
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 7: Say twenty four.

840
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 3: All right, I feel like, all right, you I mean

841
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 3: you want to you want to you want to do

842
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 3: some fake therapy. Let's do some fake therapy. Uh, I

843
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 3: mean doing that?

844
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: It's it's.

845
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 3: And again you also, I don't I don't want to

846
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 3: ship too much on the sky or even on shit

847
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 3: on him at all, because, to be honest, you keep

848
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 3: mentioning these things that are passive aggressive, and I don't

849
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 3: really feel like I've gotten a concrete example of anything

850
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 3: that he's done that I guess rubs me the wrong way.

851
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 3: But if that's how you feel, you know, that's how

852
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 3: you feel. If if if he's doing this stuff, it's

853
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 3: it's indicative of like his own like insecurity, which I'm

854
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 3: and and security and dealing with insecurity is just something

855
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 3: we all gotta fucking do, whether you know, and if

856
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 3: we it's so and that's his cross to bear, you know,

857
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 3: And that's we all deal with insecurity and A positives

858
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 3: and dromin all these things, and so you know, ideally

859
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 3: this guy figures out his own ways of dealing with

860
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: his insecurity and ways in which he can feel better

861
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 3: about himself so that he's not you know, taking it

862
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 3: out on other people.

863
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: That's for his therapy Gecko call.

864
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 7: But you know, yeah, yeah, I would agree. It definitely

865
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 7: comes across to me as like jealousy or insecurity, you know.

866
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 7: And I don't know, I guess, uh.

867
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 5: Like I said, we're like pretty compatible outside of work,

868
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 5: like it's all good, you know, So I don't know,

869
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 5: it's like there's a better way I could be supporting

870
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 5: him where he feels like, you know, I think he

871
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 5: will tell you.

872
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 3: Jess, have you had a conversation with him about any

873
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 3: of this multiple?

874
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, how do those go?

875
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 7: He just says, you know, he admits like his fault

876
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 7: and how he acts about it. He just says that

877
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 7: it's a hard situation for him and that and it is,

878
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 7: you know, like I said, he was becoming successful here

879
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 7: before I started, and I.

880
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: Don't Okay, Well tell me how does the conversation go.

881
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 7: Usually it'll start with like, because we work fairly like

882
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 7: close to one another, so it'll start with like, him

883
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 7: seeing like interactions that I have with our with our bosses.

884
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 7: So uh, you know, like I said, he makes jobs.

885
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 7: So I'll tell him like, oh yeah, I got, you know,

886
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 7: a shout out hold on.

887
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 3: Jess jes Es Jes before you go into I just

888
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:43,320
Speaker 3: if you could focus with me for just a second

889
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 3: when you say to him, Hey, man, I kind of

890
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 3: feel like you're jabbing at me anytime I'm you know,

891
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 3: telling you about a success at work, and I kind

892
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 3: of feel like, uh uh, there's a problem there, and

893
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 3: I'm expressed I'm gonna express to you these problems that

894
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 3: I have that I've been expressing on this phone call.

895
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 3: When you look into his eyes and you say that

896
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 3: to him, what does he say?

897
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 2: Uh?

898
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 7: He says he's sorry.

899
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: Okay and doesn't hit fall okay. Is that is that

900
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: good enough for you?

901
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 7: I mean, it could be if it didn't continue to happen,

902
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 7: you know, but it just seems kind of like a

903
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 7: a continuous thing that happens. So it's like, how many

904
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 7: times can we have the same conversation about it?

905
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, Well, I don't know. Maybe maybe maybe he

906
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 3: needs to get a new job. Maybe he should get

907
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 3: Here's what Here's what we'll do is he should get it,

908
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 3: he should get a different job, and then that company

909
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 3: can also give me money to talk about them on

910
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 3: this podcast.

911
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 1: And that way I win, no matter what.

912
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've told him, you know, like you need to.

913
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 7: I've even looked for another job because I wanted to

914
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 7: get out of the situation that we've we've gotten into.

915
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 7: You know, I was unsuccessful in my search, you know,

916
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 7: because I have a good job here and I don't want.

917
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 5: To give it up for.

918
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 7: A job that would be less beneficial to me than

919
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 7: this one is. So he's talked about him being the

920
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 7: one to find a new job. He said things like, oh,

921
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,280
Speaker 7: I'm going to have my resume reve remade by the weekend,

922
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 7: and never.

923
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 3: Good, good, well, and look, I'm gonna just I'm gonna

924
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 3: just leave you with this, Jess. I I don't like

925
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 3: telling people what to do, but I I just but

926
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 3: I'm going to would highly highly highly highly highly highly

927
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 3: highly highly recommend that you do not. If you enjoy

928
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 3: your job and if you feel good on your own

929
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:09,439
Speaker 3: personal level with your levels of accomplishment and everything going

930
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 3: on with yourself, I would highly recommend against leaving it

931
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,800
Speaker 3: behind to make this guy feel better because his insecurity

932
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 3: is valid. Of insecurity is a valid thing to feel.

933
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 3: But it's not your responsibility to make to stop achieving

934
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 3: in your own life to make this guy feel less insecure.

935
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 3: So please, don't you know, please make your decisions with

936
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 3: that in mind. Jess, is there anything else you want

937
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 3: to say to the people of the computer before we go?

938
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 7: No, I just wanted to say, I hope you keep

939
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 7: doing your podcast because you get me through the work

940
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 7: week all the time. So thank you, and it was

941
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 7: my top.

942
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: Hey, thank you very much, Jess. Have a good one.

943
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 3: You too, have your boyfriend and uh get a fucking

944
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 3: job at Taco Bell and that way he can recommend

945
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 3: them to sponsor the podcast. Hey, if you're listening to

946
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 3: this anyone and you know somebody at Taco Bell, let

947
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,800
Speaker 3: them know. I would, I would, I will, I will

948
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 3: like somebody, let them know, let them know that if

949
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,399
Speaker 3: they want, I will interrupt somebody crying to me about

950
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 3: the death of a family member on this podcast to

951
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 3: do an ad for a Dorito's Locos Tacos. That's that's

952
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,439
Speaker 3: how far I'm willing to go for them. So I'm

953
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 3: just throwing that out there.

954
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 6: Oh hello, Hi, Wow, holy crap, how's it going?

955
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 3: Geck?

956
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: Hi, what is your name?

957
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 6: My name is Jess, Jess, Jess, Jess.

958
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 1: You said my name is Jess not Jess. Oh do

959
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 1: you mean Jeff.

960
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 6: No, my name is Jess not Jess.

961
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 3: Yes, Jess. What's up, Jess? How's it going? How's life?

962
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 6: Life remains? Interesting?

963
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 3: Well?

964
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 6: So, wow, okay, sorry, hold on. My my partner called

965
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:15,760
Speaker 6: you around Thanksgiving ish while we weren't together at that moment.

966
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 6: His name was Matt and he was living with his

967
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 6: uh well, he still is living with his great aunt

968
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 6: and he's just been dealing with a lot and wait.

969
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,720
Speaker 1: Is it was?

970
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 3: Was he the guy who he was living with his

971
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 3: great aunt and taking care of her, and it was

972
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 3: kind of having to having difficulties of like, oh, I

973
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 3: don't know, if you know, I want to go live

974
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 3: my own life, but I kind of can't because I

975
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:40,839
Speaker 3: have to take care.

976
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 1: Of my aunt.

977
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

978
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 6: He remember him a very lost individual, and I kind

979
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 6: of wanted I'm shaking, dude. I wanted to thank you

980
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 6: because and I know he would too. And if he's

981
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 6: listening to this, he's absolutely shitting his pants.

982
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 3: But maybe maybe maybe his aunt can maybe that's a

983
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 3: good opportunity for his aunt to pay him back. You know,

984
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 3: she he canna, she canna cleaned the ship out of

985
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 3: his pants for once.

986
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 6: Maybe, so that would be that would be appreciated. I'm sure.

987
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 6: But like what you said to him, like really got

988
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 6: through to him. I don't think you get to hear

989
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 6: this very often. But like he when you said that,

990
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 6: like you just hope that every day he wakes up

991
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 6: and this is the choice that he makes. Yeah, he

992
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 6: that really like he's he's really taken that to heart.

993
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 6: And he's actually really like stood up for himself and

994
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,800
Speaker 6: told like his family, like I can't do this anymore.

995
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 6: We need to have a new plan. We need to

996
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 6: figure something out because I can't do this.

997
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,959
Speaker 1: Very cool, very good, good good, yeah good?

998
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 3: And so wait, so so so you you you started

999
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 3: dating you?

1000
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: Did you meet him after I called? After we talked?

1001
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 6: No, so we at the time that he called we,

1002
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 6: I guess weren't like speaking.

1003
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 2: It's really weird.

1004
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 6: We've been very on and off for the past I

1005
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 6: mean really ever since I moved out. I moved out

1006
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 6: of the house in August, and I've really been taking

1007
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 6: steps to build up like my life in a sense,

1008
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 6: like just I've never lived by myself like this, and

1009
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 6: it's a really huge privilege to do so, so I'm

1010
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 6: really trying not to take it for granted, and so

1011
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,280
Speaker 6: I've just been doing that, but it's been it's made

1012
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 6: me very less able to give him the like attention

1013
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 6: that he's needed or like meet his needs. So it's

1014
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 6: just been hard, like there have like and it's it's

1015
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 6: not without good reason though that Like, I really tried

1016
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 6: to get out of that house because we really like

1017
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 6: being we were cooped up together for three years essentially

1018
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 6: like because of COVID, and we started being able to

1019
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 6: go out last and less together. So we're just on

1020
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 6: top of each other and getting on each other's nerves,

1021
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 6: and it's just been it was tough.

1022
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 3: Well I'm glad that because I'm well, I'm glad that

1023
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 3: that guy is a girlfriend, because he just sounded like

1024
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 3: his entire life was centered around taking care of his

1025
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 3: aunt and he wanted to, you know, get out there

1026
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 3: and start developing some form of a life for himself.

1027
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to hear that.

1028
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, no, I'm it was so surreal to hear

1029
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 6: his voice. I mean, he he called me on Thanksgiving

1030
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 6: and like told me about the phone call, and so

1031
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 6: when I got to listen to him on the pod, like,

1032
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 6: that was absolutely bananas. It's just so cool, and now

1033
00:57:59,000 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 6: it's very cool.

1034
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 5: Well this is doubly cool.

1035
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 3: Well tell tell him, I said, Uh, I'm glad that.

1036
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 3: Tell him, I said, tell him. I said, I'm glad

1037
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,480
Speaker 3: he made a life change, and I'm sorry that it

1038
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 3: took the therapy gecko to do it.

1039
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 6: I'll let him know. I'll certainly let him know. So, yeah,

1040
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 6: how are you doing. I don't know if you saw

1041
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 6: my text, but I am looking for a lizard to

1042
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 6: haunt my dreams. Would you like to apply?

1043
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 3: Oh?

1044
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.

1045
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 3: I have a lot of dreams to haunt. I might

1046
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 3: be too busy. Well, uh well, okay, here, first of all, well, okay,

1047
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 3: thanks for updating me about your boyfriend. I like a

1048
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 3: good update, and I'm it actually doesn't makes me feel

1049
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 3: very happy that, uh, some something I said on this

1050
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 3: stupid podcast caused a positive thing in the universe.

1051
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 1: So that's cool.

1052
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 3: Is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk

1053
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 3: about where we go or or anything on on on

1054
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 3: on your brain aside from just this update.

1055
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 1: If not. It's totally fine, but I thought i'd ask, you.

1056
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 6: Know, I yeah, nothing really that I can think of,

1057
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 6: but I you know, I'm just I'm out here having

1058
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 6: a good time, and I yeah, I just wanted to

1059
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 6: say hi to you, thank you to you, and.

1060
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, well thank you, Jess. I hope that. Uh.

1061
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,919
Speaker 3: I gotta stop starting sentences without knowing what the fuck

1062
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 3: I'm going to say.

1063
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: At the end of them.

1064
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 6: Oh, that's so real. That's me all like, very often,

1065
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 6: I just going to see where it goes and hope

1066
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 6: for the best.

1067
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 3: But I got but I guess that one, like I

1068
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 3: could I start Okay, So I started that, I said

1069
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 3: I hope that, and then it's like, well, all I

1070
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 3: gotta do is say something nice. You know, I'm not

1071
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 3: gonna say I hope that your children die. I just

1072
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 3: got to say something good. So it shouldn't have it

1073
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 3: should have been easier than it was. It was hard

1074
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 3: for some reason. So let's do this. I hope you

1075
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,920
Speaker 3: have a good rest of the day. That was easy.

1076
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 6: Thank you.

1077
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 2: You too, have a good one, Jess, you too have

1078
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 2: a good stream By.

1079
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 3: Never Beacon goes on the line making your song calls

1080
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 3: every night, every Beacon goes to Asie's teaching you aloud

1081
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,920
Speaker 3: in the mean of your life.

1082
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 1: Nice, not really an expert.